Respite & reciprocity
by Oestrogenius
Summary: Nippori X Wataru. Wataru is on his way to university and clueless about making the beast with two backs, let's just say he knows less than the average 12 year old but that's still more than Nippori. A story, based on the cannon that can be enjoyed without having seen the drama though it'd help. Scenes of a sexual nature, puns, innuendos, Dōtei.
1. Chapter 1

**Overview/ warning: The scenes of a sexual nature featured in this fan fiction are imagined in a way that uses knowledge based on scenarios found in erotica written for men by men, which I can only assume is more accurate. The depiction of an ideal bottom is usually quite consistent and most stories, like Yaoi involve an older more experienced guy charming and seducing a younger naive guy but this one is totally different.**

Nippori spends the night at his favourite senpai's house and the whole time he is there he couldn't feel more relaxed. With Wataru's amazing mother taking care of him and no responsibility to look after the kids, the poor thing never has a chance to relax but he really loves being with his anki. As a less fortunate kid he's always been really appreciative of everything he gets, but now as an older brother he has learnt to give up his free time for his family. He is really passionate and will follow his aniki wherever he goes which unfortunately lead him down the wrong path, but now with the men's rhythmic gymnastics he's found something better to express himself through.

Though there is something that has been bothering him for a while now. He feels really self conscious and ashamed, right now, without knowing why or how he got so excited. Maybe it's the fact that he's got a full stomach for the first time since his mother died or that he is neither babysitting, working a part time job nor studying for the first time in ages or the fact that he is just so incredibly content, when he is with his aniki but forgetting all the why and how questions he just wants to know what's going on. With poor attendance and a mainly absent father he hasn't got a clue what's wrong with him, luckily his aniki is there. He might need a doctor. The two are casually sitting in the living room watching "One piece" since it's Saturday night in Japan and they're both huge fans. When Nippori suddenly stands up and asks "What's this aniki?" Referring to his subtly tented trousers.

"Sit back down right now! What's wrong with you? My mother might see!" He whisper-shouts.

"Is it bad?... Do I need a doctor? Will she help me get rid of it? Why are you so embarrassed aniki? look at me I'm panicking!"

"This isn't funny Nippori, get a grip, would you announce ' _that'_ to the whole room at home?"

"I know it's not funny, why would I stay quiet? Should I be scared?" Tears start streaming down his blushing cheeks "Am I gonna die now? Because it really hurts." He collapses to the ground. Kneeling, head in hands. "I only told you 'cos I trusted you and thought you could help." Wataru dashes to Nippori's side without hesitation and embraces him from behind. "There's no problem don't worry I promise you're not dying," He reassures.

"How do you know? You're not a doctor." Nippori struggles to believe Wataru because of his conflicting emotions and hurt feelings from being laughed at, accused of joking and having no shame, "Well you hugging me doesn't make it feel better, it feels worse like it's about to explode let me get your mum, she can help even if I won't die, 'cos that's what it feels like when you're with me…" He thinks for a minute. "Well it sort of feels like that when you're not with me but until this ' _thing'_ goes you're not helping." He is hysterically crying right now. Which alerts Wataru's mother.

"It looks like this play fight has gone too far." She says as she pulls Wataru by the ear.

"You can leave, he was crying before I touched him and it's boy trouble so you don't want to know."

"My heart has been beating really fast for a while now. I think I need a doctor...Can you call a doctor?"

"And if the doctor was here right now, what would you say?"

"He's killing me Mrs Azuma!" More tears. "On the inside." Then Nippori faints because of exhaustion and reduced blood flow to the head. Wataru is still so worried he instinctively hasn't let go.


	2. Chapter 2

"That sounds like more than boy troubles, Wataru I've spent enough time with boys your age to know they don't normally cry over small issues, does his dad put pressure on him with school?"

"No way, his grades are like three times as good as mine!"

"So he's passing with, what? Cs?"

"Pretty much his dad is always busy and leaves him with a lot of chores, so he definitely doesn't have time to waste, telling him to do school work."

"I get it, no need for a doctor. He's just exhausted, not to worry, the only cure for that is relaxation. You've actually done well so far, by letting him get comfortable enough to cry in front of you... And he must trust me if he confessed his emotional turmoil. If you want your friend to feel better you just need to invite him to stay over in the future so he can recharge at least once a week. I'll put him in your bed and you can have the floor you know he needs to sleep really badly, if he collapses on the floor." She bends down and picks up young, malnourished Nippori off the floor, effortlessly and not noticing that he his pitching a tent.

"That's enough I can take him it makes me look bad" His helpful inclination only kicking in to preserve his friend's dignity. Although, it should be known that she already noticed and maintained a "no reaction" face to avoid drawing attention to it. In order to prevent Nippori from being ridiculed in what she expects to be inevitable lad banter. The two are so alike with their tempers, strength and unsung yet consistent kindness.

"Why because I'm a woman? Have you got a problem? Do you want a fight after I put this innocent child down to beat some sense into you?" In fact, her back was hurting and Wataru had always considered her at least as strong as two men having always fought with the intention of winning and persistently losing. She just stood her ground, seeing Nippori cry curled up in a ball, all vulnerable and emotional made her maternal instincts seriously kick in. At this point if he was under a car she'd lift it to save him because he was like her second son. She gave him a glare that easily frightened him into submission. She was the only authority figure he'd listen to -besides Yuta- after all, it took a lot of guts to keep a Yankee in line.

"You're right, forgive me I'll let you carry him and... sleep on the floor." He sighs.

"See, the teachers just need to threaten you more. They're way too soft on the likes of you... Even just a good old fashioned slipper kept at arm's reach." She mockingly ponders aloud "I'd sign the paper to not press charges right now, if it existed."

"I bet you would!" He huffs. She places Nippori on the bed, gently and kisses his forehead "Wow! I wonder if I'd get as many privileges as him if I fainted."

"So you miss being treated like a child?"

"I wouldn't say that, but little bit less tough love would be nice"

"Does Nippori have a mother to take care of him? Or his own bedroom? Or the chance to not deal with part time jobs, cooking and cleaning plus kids? Who do you think gets more tough love?" She pauses for emphasis "It's because of his environment that he hasn't had the chance, to become as _gross_ as all other young boys... and perhaps even, the energy." A single tear leaks out from her glimmering eyes "Take care of him for me ok, and before getting jealous remember I only kissed him before tucking him in because no one else will, he needs attention but doesn't ask for it, because he doesn't know how. So just treat him as you would like to be and he'll thank you for it because he's always grateful. Did you see how he did the dishes, without being asked? Then let you take credit, you could learn from his honesty too. If he has a problem try your best to solve it, not because you should, but because you want to. I don't want to see him cry again and I know there is nothing you can do about how he feels at home, even if he has, never complained. But I know you can do everything to make him comfortable here and that's an order."

"Actually, thanks mum, I do care about him, but until now he has just been so happy, doing as I tell him, following me and complimenting me all the time as a loyal underling should, that I totally forgot about his problems since he looks upbeat. He's always got ridiculously high spirits at school as if he's glad to be there. Whereas, I'd just rather go home and go to bed but he can't even do that. Thanks for being as great as you are, because if being at school was the highlight of my life I'd cry too." He embraces his mother. "I'll do as you say as a thank you to him, for making me glad to be me. Good night mum." He goes to his room.

Thoroughly amazed by Nippori's resilience and genuine appreciation for everything, he watches him sleep enchanted by the tranquility of his entirely innocent mind. If he didn't end up crying and quite harshly rejecting his hug, he would have laughed at the situation. He now knew that the world wasn't good enough for the likes of Nippori and Wataru decided to protect him from it. At least for his mother's sake, besides Nippori was way too easily influenced. Wataru began regretting involving his kouhai in all those worthless teenage Yankee fights and he was equally glad that they were now involved in something more positive. At least now Nippori's way of being influenced makes him seem like he was never part of a group of scum, not that he was ever a low life, he was just another misunderstood guy in the wrong crowd, but you'd never guess that from looking.

Wataru's protective instinct leads him to follow in the footsteps of his mother and kisses Nippori's forehead he felt better doing that for some reason like it meant he was watching over him since no one else would. As soon as those inquisitive eyes opened Wataru wanted to be there. To make sure they didn't see anything bad. Again, since there was no one else to and "not" because he actually cared. He just saw someone that needed looking after.


	3. Chapter 3

In the morning an excited Nippori shakes Wataru awake "It's gone! You were right! I wasn't gonna die, but it sure felt like it. My part time job is not till two, so we can spend about five hours together!" He pauses for breath.

"Get off me!"

"What? It's gone now silly, you can't catch it can you? Sorry." He gets off and stands, looking down, at the ground, clutching his elbow and shifting his weight from foot to foot nervously.

"No, it's eight am, on a Sunday. I'm not normally up until you are at work." He sighs turning over to go back to sleep.

 _I can't cope with being up early on a school day let alone a week end... This is my break..._

"No, you're kidding! I already had a nice lie in. I'm up at five for my paper round on weekdays then I make the kids' bento's then, their breakfast, after that I wake them up, feed them, brush their teeth/hair and we leave by eight so I can go to the primary school before high school, the middle schoolers can take themselves. I'm lucky because mornings would be a nightmare otherwise."

"You really are amazing Nippori!" Wataru really means it and he blushes. "Share the futon with me, I'll show you how to do a proper lie in and we can do this next weekend, if you're not too busy with work." He spontaneously invites Nippori over to spend more time with him as his mother had suggested.

"Wow I'd love to, erm, and I wanted to say sorry about last night I thought something really bad was gonna haaaaappennn... Sorry, I feel sick again I've got that feeling again, maybe I shouldn't lay with you,"

"What are you on about? Laying down can only feel better come in, it's nice and warm…" Wataru looks up at him finally deciding to open his eyes fully, to seem more convincing. "Woah, you tidied my room! My bed hasn't been made all year and it's February. You must be some kind of miracle worker, you never stop do you?"

"Well. if I don't pick things up who will?"

"Nippori, this is my house, let someone take care of _you_ for once."

"I'm so lucky to have a friend like you!" Nippori's heart beat starts to speed up for some reason. "Ok, errm, I'll get in if it's ok, with you, it's not very often I get to sleep when it's light outside." As soon as Nippori gets under the blanket he shudders as part of his body's blood flow goes south and his cheeks flush. "Aniki, I'm not cured yet! Should I just sleep again?"

 _If I were him I would want to know what is going on It's not like I understand it but I can at least make it go away right?... I can't change his home life but his life here is under my control. That's what a good friend would do, so that's what I'll do._

"Ok Nippori, don't panic I was about thirteen when this first happened to me, you're just a late developer. My mum thinks it's because you don't eat enough, like you said last night, I'm not a doctor but I can make this go away. It's only a quick fix, but it helps and you're the first person I've told... I'm sure it's something private, so you can't ask my mum for help 'cos she's not a boy."

"Wait…" He thinks for a second "Ok, yep, there is a difference in parts I know from experience, as a pseudo-parent if you will."

"Did you make that word up? "

"Yes, but it means I'm not a parent but I act like one. Anyway, so what you're saying is I can ask Kashiwagi-sensei but not Shouko-sensei?"

"Yes, but he probably knows less than you, right?... Besides it's a senpai's job teach his kouhai. I only found this out by mistake so maybe no one knows, if they don't maybe they don't do t _hat 'pointy thing'_... It bothers you a lot doesn't it? But it doesn't have to. I was in the shower my first time and I didn't wanna go out with it. So I tried to push it down and it bobbed back up. So I kept trying 'cos I didn't wanna be caught, I thought what I was doing was dirty, for some reason, but by the end… I can't explain let me show you." Wataru guides Nippori's palm to the underdeveloped shaft -the entirety is hairless, he probably lacks protein- and manipulates it to from an "O" shape then guides it up and down the two are in a spooning position on their sides. "How does it feel?"

"Kind of like pouring cold water on a burn, the pain isn't gone, but it feels refreshing." Wataru beams because he secretly likes to please others. He gets into a ' _state'_ too and starts to unconsciously grind his hips into Nippori's bum and back. These are the first sexually stimulating images and sensations he has ever had that were of someone else and his senses are overloaded smelling Nippori's hair, feeling the heat of his body and the throbbing of his penis that had never been touched with sexual intentions before, even with the least direct stimulation Wataru loses it first, still fully clothed with a few suppressed grunts. "Are you ok, aniki?"

"I'm great... Th-th-thanks," He stammers out still recovering. "Nippori and can you call me Nii-chan when we're alone together?"

"What's wrong with aniki?"

"Nii-chan sounds cuter..."

 _I'm not cute! Is he trying to tease me?_

"...And matches your personality, 'aniki' is what a Yakuza* would say to the heir, if they were younger than them..."

 _Well, that kinda makes sense, if he's going to explain in that way._

"...And I want you to be better than that."

 _If he's gonna compliment me I can't argue with that._

"You're right niiiiiiiiiiiiii-chiyannn!~ Ahhh~... I feeeelll alll fuunnyyyy ...Erm can you stop please?"

"Of course I'll stop, whenever you ask but you don't know what you're missing. Trust nii-chan you're nearly there."

"Ok start but it feels like I'm going to pop… Don't stop! Nnnnnn~ Keeep going… That's it, faster! …. kiiiiyyyyyaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!~ Niiiiiiiiiii-chiiiiiiyyyyyyaaaannnnn!~" Nippori wrinkles up his face and squeezes his eyes closed like an adorable sneeze. His hips are thrusting into their hands and his chest is heaving as he pants out of breath. "Yamete! Yamete!** Nii-chan it's too intense."

"But you didn't... Erm... Something's missing."

"I did! Thanks, that was great." He sleeps soundly, for the next four hours, in Wataru's arms, dropping off, immediately after the word great. What Wataru could neither understand nor explain is that Nippori just had a dry orgasm due to his stunted development.

Author's note

*Yakuza→Japanese gangster. Aniki is a rough street term for an that may be used when speaking to older male it shows the same meaning and respect as nii-chan but is very rough language. Nii-chan is friendly term and appropriate to call any older male up to a certain age because at that point he'll be like an uncle (ossan/ ojisan ect.) to you rather than like a brother to you. For example Takumi calls Gackt nii-chan because they're too familiar for him to say Gackt-san and he still needs to show respect. It's almost exactly like saying bro in English except it's less casual and more respectful.

**Yamete→Stop right now!


	4. Chapter 4

It was twelve when Nippori's stomach woke him up. He didn't have much of an appetite usually, but something seems to have really got his metabolism going. "Nii-chan, wake up, I can't sleep any more I'm too hungry."

"Ok, I'll get up for you, erm and don't call me 'nii-chan' unless we're alone. I just don't want the lads to think tumbling made us go soft."

"No, you made me go soft aniki and I can't thank you enough!" He embraces Wataru. "I can't wait until next weekend!"

"I can tell you can't, me neither. You can call me nii-chan until we grab lunch."

"What? No not again, nii-chan it's all your fault!" He fakes being mad, then pokes his cheeks and looks angelically in to Wataru's eyes, which he can't take. "Erm, nii-chan... You're doing it too! Now my belly feels just like my bum did at eight o'clock. Hmm … So you were excited too then? Why didn't you tell me?" He innocently reaches out to grab Wataru through his cotton pyjamas and pulls away in shock. "Wow! Nii-chan, it's so big! I'm still growing right? It's because you're my senpai." Wataru sports a slender five inches were as Nippori is not as thick and more like under three inches.

"Don't worry about me Nippori I can take care of myself, trust me and don't get shy, mine was way smaller than yours when it first stood up." He reassures.

"I'm not worried about me, I'm glad mine doesn't stick out when we wear those leggings or the lycra in tumbling, then girls would see it." Wataru looks puzzled. "They shouldn't because they're different right? I'd probably have to tuck it in like I saw Mizusawa do once, he definitely looked like a girl when he did that."

"Wait, what _do_ girls look like?"

"It's just a triangle like, have you ever seen a 'Barbie' doll?"

"No, I'm a male only chiii~ld, erm, you can let go now."

"What? No, I want to make nii-chan feel good, as a thank you."

 _Wow he really is appreciative..._

"No, no Nippori, you don't owe meeee~ Nnnnggg~ Anything."

"Actually, I like it, I feel happy whenever you're happy, this almost feels as good as when you took care of me this morning." He thinks for a moment. "Ok, you can call me Keiji-Kun, just use my family name in front of others, for the same reason as you. Ok nii-chan?"

"Ooooofff co-co-course, erm Ke-ke-keiji-kun, I waaaant~, erm, you to be happy." He chokes, getting close to 'that' time even though Nippori's tugging is sloppy, through fabric and inexperienced. The emotion and deepening of their relationship sends Wataru over the edge quite easily his underwear is still crusty from earlier that morning and he has an urge to brush Nippori's small inefficient hand away, get a tissue and really go for it himself. But the fact that all Nippori's energy, affection and attention were going into this made it feel even more worthwhile so he resists, to save his friend's feelings and enjoy the experience. He refuses to tell Nippori to speed up because that would sound too much like he wasn't satisfied by his current effort so he opts to settle for thrusting his hips into Nippori's eager to please hands. "That's it, yoooooouuuuuurrrrrr'eee~ Doing so well, Keiji-kun I've never feeeeeeeelt~ Nnnnnnnnnnnn~ This aaahh~ Goood~ Before yooooouuuu~ Really learn fast but it's about to geeeeet~ Better. Ok, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh~ Huhuhuhuhuh," Nippori is so pleased he hugs Wataru forgetting about his own situation. He could have just laid there, but their was something on his mind "Nii-chan did you go number one?* Your PJ's are all wet... There's a patch at the front!" Wataru's eyes finally open, "Erm yes, a bit, well sort of, I'm not sure what it is maybe I'm weird, but stuff just leaks out."

"You're not weird. I care about nii-chan and really like spending time with him so, that would make me weird. I know let's ask Mrs Azuma" He detaches from Wataru and tries to stand before remembering."

He unconsciously reaches down to grab himself. "No, let me you're my otouto-bun so I'll always take care of you." Nippori hugs Wataru again and his hips began to gently gyrate.

"Thanks, is it ok to ask Kiyama if there are problems when you're not around?" Not that he'd ever get excited without Wataru present.

"No, just me because you're my otouto-bun." Wataru lied, because an instinct told him you bond like this with only one person. He felt he had to be protective of Nippori, when he knew 'no one else would'.

 _He's just too kind and easily influenced..._

"This is a should probably be a secret since none of our guys seem to talk about it. I think they're either are not ready or they're ashamed or worse we're are the only two in the school with this problem. So, either way, you don't want it to get out,"

"Wow! You're right nii-chan, the fact that this is our secret makes in even more special and if you weren't here it wouldn't feel the same," They were still in close contact but Nippori wasn't getting very far "That's enough Keiji-kun, nii-chan's right here.**" And so, with two pumps of Wataru's enthusiastic fist, young Nippori's body was wracked with the second climax of his life the most he could do was spasm and thrust but this time when he cried out Wataru knew what was going on. "Heeh huuh heeeh huuuh uuuuuunnnnnnnnnn~ Ugh ugg aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~ Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~." And it was over Wataru's mother was already working but had left sandwiches on the table which by this point Nippori really needed, he hadn't eaten this ravenously in years, but felt complete, somehow just being there. It was quarter past one and Nippori had to leave. It had been a really eventful weekend, even if he passed out at around nine o'clock. It was his bedtime after all. Wataru was careful not to touch Nippori as he sort of got that they where both the source of each other's issues. So, he went to work meaning there were no more blood-flow-interrupting-incidents for the weekend. And Nippori almost forgot about the alternative functions of his boy parts, until the following day on the playground.

Authors note

* Nippori often speaks thoughtlessly immaturely when he is relaxed because there are always children around at home. My Biology teacher does it a lot.

**Wataru unconsciously speaks in third person because it makes him feel closer to Nippori, by mimicking his speech pattern. Plus perhaps his protective dominant side comes out, as the senior student.


	5. Chapter 5

**Since there was a delay and it's Easter this is a bonus week, there will be two chapters.**

 **{Next week regular Friday uploads will continue.}**

It's Monday morning and Nippori is 'happy to see' Wataru in more ways than one. "Hi, aniki!" He cluelessly shouts, completely unashamed. "We need to talk, you've got a problem." Wataru hints leaving the group as Nippori looks down to check.

"I suppose you're right. Oops."

"Well, we've got to deal with it." He drags Nippori by the scruff of the neck and shoves him into the nearest disabled toilet, to avoid suspicion. It's not as if anyone cared. Though it was at times like this when he was fortunate, that being a Yankee made his actions beneath the acknowledgement of regular pupils. They are likely to assume Nippori is a bully victim. Not that Wataru would ever so much as think of doing a thing like that, to anybody. Closing the door behind him he turns to pull down Nippori's trousers. There was every indication that he needed 'it' badly. Wataru is able to work this out judging from that fact that his foreskin is peeled back exposing the engorged head which frantically bobs up and down, almost hypnotising. Nippori disrupts Wataru from his daze. "Oh, nii-chan It's sooo~ sore…. Can you make it better for me?..." Wataru nods hungrily. "I never noticed it before you told me, this is the first problem since Sunday, at your house. It must have started when I saw you!...Then you grabbed me in front of everyone... I felt so helpless, even though I knew you were gonna take care of me. Weird right?..." Wataru hums in agreement. "...And on top of that, my heart started beating so fast. It's like I can't hold it in anymore! Like I could burst any second!... Touch me nii-chan... I'm begging you it really hurts. It's like my ochinchin's* on fire." Nippori pleads and the needy display of dependence makes Wataru's heart melt. All of a sudden he starts living to please Nippori in that moment. "Anything for Keiji-kun." He tentatively reaches out to massage Nippori. Wow! That's hot! Maybe I should cool it down... No doubts about germs or even sticky stuff crossed his mind, the only thought it his mind was of Nippori's happiness. Woah and now something's dripping... Wataru just had to lick it for Nippori's sake. He gets on his knees.

"Oi nii-chan where are you going isn't that yucky?"

"Not to me… It looks delicious."

"No! Don't eat me, it'll hurt even more." _Oh, Keiji-kun... He's so gullible._

"Don't worry I won't bite... This is just a taste... I can't help myself."

"Ok, I trust you." Wataru hesitantly peaks his tongue out to gently lick. "Oooooooh~ that's a bit tickly."

 _That's it! He likes it! I knew this would feel better._ And with that, he envelopes the full length of Nippori's naked penis into his mouth and sucks it. Wataru finds the sensation in his mouth oddly pleasurable. Nippori starts to lose his balance and almost falls over. "Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~ Aaaaahhh~ Niiiiiiii-chan! Dooooon't~ Stoooooop~ This is incredible!" When helping Nippori up he effortlessly lifts his slender pale thighs to his shoulders placing Nippori's back on the wall, never detaching his mouth. Nippori's compact ball sack starts quivering. "Niiiiiii- chiiiiiiyyyyyyyaaaan~… I think something is cooooooommmmmmnnnnning~ out! I might pee on you."

"Yes that's right I think you're developing again!" Wataru wants to see this for himself, despite the fact that he liked the taste of Nippori's 'drippy stuff' before. "Oooooooooooh~ Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn~…. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn huuuh heeeh huuuuh heeh." He pants, squeezing his eyes shut as a minute amount of crystal clear seminal fluid dribbles out into Wataru's hand. He gives a puzzled look at the blissful Nippori, that hadn't yet come down from his high. It looks like he still isn't ready. He would definitely need a richer diet if he was going to develop like his senpai. He had more than three years to catch up on.

Following this event, there are four more days in the week and Wataru never once asks for Nippori to reciprocate, he just considers it his duty to please Nippori and nothing else would make him happier. He has plans that involve taking Nippori out at the weekend. However, Wataru's dad reveals that he is alive, which is a distraction. Knowing friends with problems sometimes need space, Nippori Is entirely focused on making his aniki's mood better even if that means leaving him to it. With Nippori's incredibly busy life, he only has space for one of his personal issues at a time. The list of interchangeable things includes: "Hunger", "Thirst" "Aniki's happiness" and "Arousal". That one is relatively new so goes at the bottom of the list because he can live without could say he has a one track mind but it's more that he is occupied with things that don't concern his individual happiness, such as work and family. So throughout the week, he concentrates on Wataru's happiness and spends the weekend at home to let Wataru mourn.

*Author's note

Ochinchin is and immature word for penis, but willy or peepee would be too cringey. The Japanese seems better to me.


	6. Chapter 6

Nippori's oldest little sister is watching a boys love comedy drama film. It has just started and she is laughing her head off at part of the opening scene, which piques Nippori's interest. "Whatcha' watchin'? It looks kinda funny."

"No, you won't like it Keiji. Go away!" She's joking, They're probably the closest two in the house, since they share some responsibilities. She's at middle school and looks up to her brother, while still being way more knowledgeable.

 _I know him well enough to know he'll leave, before all the spicy bits... He's totally welcome to sit and watch until he get's bored._ So the two curl up and watch it. This is after the kids have gone to bed.

"Wow, theses two are such good friends! Like me and aniki." Nothing romantic has happened yet, but characters are being established and unbeknownst to him these two will be the main pair.

"They're more than friends Keiji… Or at least, they will be."

 _Wow! How ignorant can my brother get?_

"Oh, right they're brothers?... I see... I suppose if you were a boy, we'd be like that?"

 _Why is he just acting dumb? So I'll think he's got a clean mind and keep respecting him?... That is really convincing though, I wonder if he'll be able to keep this up._

"Errr no! As if I'd ever like a smelly boy like you!"

 _So aniki was right, girls don't like boys, like we like each other... Wait a minute what's that?_

"Why on earth did they touch mouths? That's weird... That was by accident right?"

"You're in high school and you've never kissed before?"

 _Wow, he really wants to sell his celibate act to be a good example for me._

"Kisu? Eh? I've never seen this before.* Aww, now what? Tongues in mouths? I hope they've brushed their teeth."

 _He's grossed out maybe he's just a raging homophobe._

"It shows they love each other."

"Ok like a hug?"

" _Don't you remember mum kissing our cheeks and foreheads?"_

"Our lips never touched."

"This is different."

"How?"

"Watch and see."

 _Wait a minute he really is clueless I kinda don't wanna corrupt him. But It's way cute that he's so old and doesn't know what's going on. He would totally be a younger uke dominated by his senpai... I just assumed he was getting action with some yariman** somewhere... But I should have known my brother was different, he's too kind and gentle. He even plaits mine and my sister's hair and manages not to make her cry. So, the question would be: where would he find time with all the demands of being a student, a semi-parent and employee? Wow, this sudden realisation kind of makes me feel guilty, he probably doesn't even know about the birds and the bees... I can't tell him it would be too shameful to learn 'that' from a younger sister... If only dad was around more. That's it, he must be too curious to give up on the film... So I'll stop it for him. Now that I know he's so innocent I just want to protect him from all the bad in the world._ She looks at him. _What? He's crying now? Oh, they broke up. Woah, he's dead sensitive, and too naive to see they're gonna get back together and be even more romantic._

 _"_ Oi, Keiji! Haven't you ever seen a romance before? They all end like this, they're so depressing right?" He nods as tears and snot stream down his face. She doesn't even have the drive to pick on him for it now that he has revealed his vulnerability."Do you need a tissue?" He nods, still sobbing. "Here take it, idiot." She was always smarter than him but now she just feels sorry for him. If he wasn't there supporting her and taking on so many responsibilities she wouldn't have been able to thrive as well as she did and she knows that now. So, she gives up on trying to cheer him up, through starting a brawl even though she always won or was allowed to anyway. And just as with Wataru's mother, she starts to take care of him, drying his tears, then she holds the tissue over his nose and says "Blow." which he does because he is really obedient.

"Thanks, I needed that. Why did you let me watch that? And how come you're not crying? Why would anyone want to watch something so tragic? That's why I don't understand horror, it just gives me nightmares, but this ruins my day." He chokes out struggling to come to terms with the events of the film.

 _It's either corruption or turning him it to a cynic... Oh my days! Ok, I can't deprive him of a happy ending this is probably the first story he's followed that didn't end with 'And they all lived happily ever after.' That's it, corruption it is._

"Wait! There's more? I didn't realise! There are a whole forty-five minutes left on this hour and a half long film…" She lies in away that would be unconvincing to an 'average' high school student, starting university in a year or so. "I just suppose this is the lowest point and they build back up from there?"

"That means it could all change!" With his passion renewed he watches intently and just as expected, their fiery romance is rekindled with a passionate love making scene. Everything is left to the imagination and nothing indecent shown because it's not pornographic, but poor Nippori is just confused.

"What kind of fight is this? I thought a 'kisu' meant love... I can't even tell who's winning."

"Keiji it's called a kiss and don't you think they look too happy to be fighting?"

"Well otherwise it doesn't make sense, it sounds like the Kaku-san is in pain and I can't tell if Yamamoto-san is hurt or not."

"Just remember that a kiss is a promise that two hearts make, you can't just give it to everyone."

"What? is this something all boys do?"

"Only the ones that love each other." The characters live happily ever after, get married and raise children.

"What are you crying again for?" She raises yet another tissue to dry his face "Blow."

"I don't get it either, I only normally cry when I'm sad or in pain, but I'm so happy right now. Thank you for showing me the film."

 _So I can ask questions to some girls? I suppose it's only family though, maybe I should ask Kashiwagi-sensei a few things on Monday I think aniki could be my 'kareshii'*** already and I didn't know. Wait, it's a secret I remember now... Maybe I should ask him if he knows about kisses._

Authors note

*PDA is taboo it Japan and really frowned upon, therefore uncommon.

** Yariman→Bimbo

***Kareshii→Partner(male)


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter is really short and there's a character I want to introduce this weekend. Don't get used to bonuses⭐**

Monday morning

"Aniki have you got a minute?" They head to the roof for privacy.

"I've got plenty of time for my otouto-bun, what do you need Keiji-kun?" He habitually reaches for Nippori's crutch. It had been a full week since they last did anything and...

 _Nippori's so fidgety, he definitely wants something, but is too nervous to ask._

"No, it's not ' _that'_ , have you ever heard of a kiss?"

"Oh yeah, my mum did that every night, before I started middle school."

"Right, mine too before she died." Wataru hugs him from behind. "No, don't worry I'm not down, I'm trying to cheer you up, I know what It's like to lose a parent."

"It's not the same, I didn't know him properly and it's not like anything has changed... I'm still me, I was just a bit shocked, that's all." He lies to prevent Nippori from getting any more sentimental.

 _Wow, aniki's really brave!... I think he just wants me to change the subject, that's ok._

"So, I've got a new kind of kiss that I hear boys that love each other do all the time. The thing is, it's a promise that two hearts make. So, I wanted to share it with you. Is that ok You don't have to if you don't want to." Nippori's nerves prevent him from being able to meet Wataru's gaze. He concentrates on the surface of the roof, anticipating rejection.

"No, I'd love to. I want you to be happy, always." He tilts up Nippori's head with his index finger. Nippori's expression changes as he hurriedly describes the fundamentals of kissing.

"Start by closing your eyes, good... Now, erm I'm going to get closer and hug you a bit then," He nervously leans in and plants a chaste kiss on Wataru's soft pink alluring lips

"What was that? I liked it but I don't get why."

"That's it! We made the promise! Now you'll neve _r_ kiss anyone else again and I'll never kiss anyone else again and we can get married and have kids!"

"What? Are babies gonna appear on the doorstep because you did that? I'm too busy for that!" Wataru's worry turns to anger.

"No no, don't be silly, they have a child shop with kids of all ages but you don't pay you just sign something and they hand the kid you want over. We have to be adults ourselves first and it would help if we had jobs and a house."

"Few, you're so smart... There are so many things I want to do before I raise a child... I at least want to be proud enough of myself to look them in the eye and tell them how to behave. But, I know you'd be a great dad if you started tomorrow, you're doing so well with your siblings as it is. Why don't we get them through school first before have our own?"

"Exactly, I can't wait to spend my life with you. You're what makes me get out of bed in the morning, I need you." He confides and then, it's at that moment that he makes Wataru's knees buckle, with the French kiss. Not that it's accurate or practiced, but the feeling of well meaning behind it was enough. If only Wataru knew what was planned that weekend, Nippori didn't quite know the logistics, but he was willing to learn through trial and error.


	8. Chapter 8

Nippori realises he hasn't told Wataru he likes him he, even though they

 _became a couple, like in the boys love drama._

His aims are to replicate most of the things he saw and since the kiss went so well he thinks he should progress with a confession. So he seeks the help of Mizusawa. As good as Nippori's intentions are he doesn't know the first thing to say. Before the weekend, he had always known he cared about Wataru and would do anything for him or even just to see his smile but he never knew why. Now that his whole life makes sense he has questions. He finds Mizusawa with a group of anime nerds he's never noticed before. Come to think of it before he started tumbling he never noticed Mizusawa. He blends right in. So much so, he would've had to look twice if he didn't know better. They're having a really intense conversation about the video game version of Naruto, but Nippori doesn't mind interrupting, since Mizusawa is staring at Kiyama across the dining room.

"Oi Mizusawa, can I talk to you for a minute?" He only addresses Mizusawa but the whole group simultaneously turn their heads, worried their friend is going to become the victim of a crime committed by a Yankee, they just watch in fear.

"Sure, how can I help you?" The two walk away in silence until they're far enough from the group for Nippori to pluck up the courage to ask his burning question. Mizusawa notices his nervous fidgetiness and becomes concerned and grabs Nippori by the shoulders surprising his gang, that assume the conversation is part of a conflict. "What's wrong Pokei-Chan?" (Comes from Nip **PO** ri **KEI** ji like, Yamaguchi Kumiko becoming Yankumi or Toshihide Saito becoming Heipo e.g. Odacchi Kakuken, Matsujun and Yamapi etc.)

"Are you hurt? Do you need money? You can ask me anything I'm your senpai. Look me in the eye! You're scaring me, you don't normally get like this." Mizusawa wonders why he turned to him and not Wataru or Ryosuke."D-d-does K-K... Erm Kiyama know... you l-l-love him?" He chokes out.

"Of course he does I confessed in our first year at Karasumori and we've been happy ever since… Wait! How do you know that?"

"What? He's your Kareshii? Why didn't you tell me? I've been so confused, up until yesterday, when I saw my first romance film, with my sister... I thought we were the only ones... Then I recognised the look of one of the characters as the same as you towards Kiyama and so I just wanted to know how you did it."

"Oh good, it's still a secret, don't tell anyone about Kiyama and I."

"Oh... Why? it's not wrong, if it makes you happy!"

"Wow, what a breath of fresh air. I wish everyone thought like you. Yama-chan is way sensitive and he doesn't want people to know he has feelings, to maintain his image. Mainly for his parent's sake, since he put them through a lot, before he met me. Also, he really looks up to Wataru and the rest so losing respect is not an option... Anyway about you, How long have you liked him?"

 _Nothing could make aniki lose respect for Kiyama..._

"I've liked him from the start, but It's different now, I love him. My sister told me the way it feels and that has been a part of me... Ever since I've known him."

"Right, how do you think he'll react?"

"I know how I want him to react, but I don't know what it's called you see... I Love him and I just know he loves me, but I've never said it, so I want to it this weekend just like with Yamamoto-san and Kaku-san with a date and stuff. I want everyone to know."

"Wait, so you saw _that_ film!? How old is your sister again?"

"Yep, she's fourteen and smarter than me. She didn't even cry once, you know? it's like does she even have a heart? " He giggles shyly. He's finally more relaxed now he has that off his chest "Or… Wait, it's because she's never been in love."

"Well, what I think is that film is perhaps, a bit mature for he _r age."_

"EEeeh? How there isn't even any violence or swear words. She can handle it."

"What about the flaming sex scene?"

"What's sex?"

"You know! When they were under the covers."

"Oh, so that _was_ a fight?... Probably some kind of western wrestling. My sister said they were happy, that's why I want to try it, at least once…. Maybe after the date like in the film! If that's what boys in love do?... Is it weird to want to do that?"

"Absolutely not, trust me."

"Few, this is all new to me... I don't know what to think."

"Really, Pokei-chan you've got a lot to learn, come and see me tomorrow I'll give you a gift."

"OK, I'm looking forward to it already."

"I know you said you had plans on Saturday, but don't do anything yet you can go on a date, but it's way too early for ' _that'_."

"Oh, I didn't know there were rules."

"Oh, you have so much to learn Pokei-chan." He chuckles to himself.

"Ok, Mizusawa-sensei. But I don't get what you are going to teach me?"

"Sex."

"The western fighting style? I can't wait!"

"You couldn't be further from the truth."


	9. Chapter 9

**Enjoy the last of a string of bonuses, I couldn't bring my self to leave you guys with such a short chapter for the weekend.**

"The western fighting style? I can't wait."

"You couldn't be further from the truth. Oh and not a word of this to Wataru."

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhh? How on earth did you know that? I only told you my feelings because I realised I wasn't as alone as I thought... I wanted to stay quiet in case no one else's ochinchin did the pointy thing...Though it's only happened four times so far -only with Wataru- ... And I was unique and therefore a weirdo. Since I've never heard anyone else talk about it."

"I knew because you're really easy to read."

"Am I really?"

"You are and as a hint from me to you, don't tell him what you want to try with him, so it's a surprise."

 _Plus it's way too early for that..._

"But most importantly, being unique might make others view you as weird but that's not necessarily a bad thing, it makes you special. And besides every boy does it, it's a part of growing up! We just never speak about it because it's private, like taking a dump, although it is equally as natural."

"So if it's normal, why is it a secret?"

 _Oh yeah, girls are different boys so they're probably better off not knowing... They might freak out like the girl in the film! So it's for their sake...I get it now._

"Well, it's private because children shouldn't be aware of it and lots of older people get disgusted by it."

"Ok, so really, I shouldn't have told you?"

"Yes but I'm glad I could help, just don't tell anyone else. See you tomorrow." He returns to his friends."

"Woah! what kind of fight was that?" Asks Tanaka.

"Did you just intimidate a Yankee with your stare?" Endo questions.

"That reminds me of Luffy's Haki," Matsumoto states.

"How strong are your words!? It seems as though you really taught him a lesson." Hamada exclaims. Hamada is a total sadist and Matsumoto is a Masochist so they are the perfect pair. Tanaka has unrequited love for Endo who is a womaniser although Bi and would settle down with Tanaka in a heartbeat, if he spoke up about his feelings.

"Yeah something like that," Mizusawa knowingly remarks. Chorus of young lads chirp

"Tsuyoi!* sugoi!** kakkōī!***" Awe-stricken by the friend that they threw under the bus only moments earlier's 'amazing' feat.

Author's note

*Tsuyoi→strong  
**Sugoi→amazing ***kakkōī→cool


	10. Chapter 10

Mizusawa is walking just outside the primary school, since he lives conveniently near it and leaves at a more regular time, to get to Karasumori. He manages to catch Nippori, just as he is leaving.

"Oi, Pokei-chan!" He waves frantically above the crowd of excited children when he catches his attention.

"Oi! Mizusawa, good timing…" They start walking together. "You know, you never told me how to make a confession."

"Well, I feel like it's more Wataru's place to do that."

"I don't get you."

"Well, bottoms don't usually…"

"Who's a bottom?" Nippori is really confused. "He'll never confess to me, because he hasn't seen the film. He doesn't know how important it is. He doesn't even know what a Kareshii is! When I kissed him, he was worried someone was gonna put a baby on his doorstep."

 _So Wataru is as clueless as Nippori? No wonder he didn't make a move..._

"Wait! You kissed him!? When?"

"Yesterday."

"What? I can't believe you want to do ' _that'_ this weekend what were you thinking?"

"I was thinking, that looks fun! Those two are like me and aniki... Maybe, I can get him to do that with me... As long as he loves me... Which of course, he does!... So I was just going to make sure." He muses out loud.

"Well, it's easy to tell that, he at, least loves you, imagine how he'd react to a kiss from you If he didn't love you! You'd be hospitalised."

"Actually, I warned him for a really long time about the meaning behind it and he was happy to accept that it was a promise between us to stay together."

"Well, that sounds like a confession to me."

"Cool!... But I never said 'I love you'."

"Just wait until the time is right, you'll know it when it comes because by then you won't be too shy to just say it."

"So it's not too early to try sex?" He beams innocently, not understanding the meaning behind the rules.

"No, it absolutely is!... You should wait at least a month, but start slowly."

"How? Should I just punch him one day then a kick and later on a tackle?"

"I thought I told you in has nothing to do with fighting."

"Well, you said it was different to wrestling, so I changed the rules."

"No. it's much more grown up than a simple play fight."

"Oh, well I'm losing interest then. First, I have to wait now, I find out it's not a contest, plus it's grown up. Where's the fun in that? Is it, at least, a game?"

"You can call it that, if you want but this will be better than any game you've ever played."

"No way! Are you comparing this too board games? Because I can live without that."

"No, a higher level." This reignites the spark of Nippori's curiosity.

"Playground games like tig?"

"No, but it'll totally make you breathe like it."

"Sports like football?"

"No, but you're heart will race at a similar speed and you will really be aiming for ' _that'_ goal." Nippori's Interest is piqued.

"Could you actually be willing to compare this to the genius craftsmanship of Nintendo with artistic and innovative game franchises such as 'Earthbound', 'The Legend of Zelda' and 'Pokémon'?" The intonation he asks the question with causes the pitch of his voice to get higher with each word, as he struggles to comprehend Mizusawa's proposition.

"You bet."

"Well I don't believe you, but I'm willing to take your advice."

"Like I was saying, start with small things like, hand jobs." Nippori's puzzled look gives him the hint to explain further. "You take your hand like this," He makes an "O" shape and does the motion.

"Oh! I've had that done before."

 _How does a person get a hand job without even knowing its name?... Or what sex is? Oh, no maybe someone touched him when he was younger... Or who knows it could have been recently. He's too innocent to even realise how wrong that is, plus he has absolutely no shame. Wait! Didn't he say something about only having four boners ever?... All with Wataru? Perhaps he is Demisexual... Wait, didn't he confess less than twenty four hours ago?_

"Pokei-chan… When did you get your first hand job."

"Today's Tuesday right?" Mizusawa nods. "That would be a week and a day ago. Around 8am on Sunday." This only heightens Mizusawa's curiosity.

"And when was your first erection." Nippori stares vacantly at Mizusawa expecting more of and explanation. "When did your dick…" Nippori cocks an eyebrow questioningly "When did you get a boner?" Still no answer. "When did your ochinchin stand up for the first time?"

"That must have been at aniki's house may be, around five and then it stayed... It actually really hurt for a long time and I had to say something when I felt really poorly, at like nine-ish... But not long after Mrs Azuma came to help me. All I can remember is that I fell asleep after that."

 _Did she?... What? Is she a cougar? She is a bit of a Milf after all... Wait Saturday was… a week and two days ago!? The dates don't add up but surely someone with a C in maths must, at least, be able to count to nine... He used his hands to work it out, as well!_

"Did you spend the night at Wataru's?"

"That's right."

 _Well now, I'm sorry to have doubted Wataru's mum... He did say something about eight am Sunday... Ok! Now I'm really building up a picture in my mind..._

"So he jerked you off in the morning when you both woke up?"

"I don't know what that is but yes, if it means he pulled my ochinchin until…"

"Stuff came out?" He simplifies his languages, learning from past mistakes.

"No, nothing came out, that time which shocked aniki… It just felt _really_ good!"

That really explains the lack of erections and experience… He's just a late bloomer and also seems to have missed the entirety of sex education*. _This is gonna be tough..._

"So the next step would be a blow job. You put your mouth like this and suck like this." He moves his head like a clucking hen, explaining without even waiting for Nippori's reaction.

"Oh, yeah I've had that done too." He casually says.

 _Unbelievable With progress like this it's no wonder he thinks he wants sex... I'm finding it all kind of hard to believe but it seems as though he's never got off by himself... I suppose it's his charm._

"Errm...Pokei chan, you know how you say you've had the things I told you about done? Have you ever done them?"

 _Why am I even Interested? I'm just turning into a pervert now, I was supposed to teach him, not get a blow by blow of his past experience._

"Well I know I made aniki feel good at least once. He never asked me but I really wanted to return the favour and ' _it'_ was so big, a least, it felt big, I never actually saw it." While Wataru may be below average in the west Nippori has nothing to compare with, besides his younger brothers and still developing self, so it was a shock.

"Sorry Nippori I can't give you your gift today, it won't help you, but since I can't return the one I already have, consider the next one a bonus." Nippori frowns.

 _Wow he's really honest isn't he?... And he makes no attempt at disguising his true feelings, so cute and naive. Let's just hope Nippori's inexperience lead him to exaggerate!... He doesn't even know what he's getting into. I won't ask him to show me with his hands because that just fuels my erotic imagination... I'll just buy something as a precaution. Hmm, I just completely dismissed an important part of that statement._

"You've never seen Wataru's…"

Nippori shakes his head."Why? Should I be worried?"

"Not at all, that's your next step, until you... 'Play the game'. Try to make him feel as good as he made you feel."

"I wanted to right away but we had lessons. Then his dad came back and you know the rest".

 _Lessons!? This boy is way too humble, he really has no clue! Considering his track record, he really puts the rest of the team to shame... With a third of his orgasms caused orally, one hundred percent by another person and even the kinky experience of doing stuff in school._

"This weekend you should start by taking care of him."

"That was always my plan, I only came to you at first because I was told doing ' _that'_ would make someone happy."

"Like I said before, the next step is to use your mouth." Nippori cringes for a second and just like that the school creeps up on them.

"No!" He says as if responding to his thoughts. "I want to, for aniki." Snapping out of his internal dialogue he turns to Mizusawa."Teach me all you can Mizusawa-sensei."

"Of course! Any time." And just like that, they go their separate ways without farewell.


	11. Chapter 11

It's Wednesday lunch time and now that Wataru is ok, Nippori's gap is filled with _other_ thoughts of Wataru. The team is all together this time, because Yuta needs to discuss the next round of the gymnastics competition. Mizusawa's covertly observing the interactions between Nippori and Wataru. Nippori's smiling as usual and relaxes for the first time since Wataru's dad came. They have all finished eating so Nippori's hunger and thirst are satisfied not to mention the fact that his aniki is really happy and has been ever since he kissed him. Then Mizusawa notices his face suddenly change, he bites his lip and tries to act like nothing happened then starts to stare at Wataru who immediately notices what's going on.

 _Oh, my word! Pokei-chan is soooo obvious, what a cutie though!... He kind of makes me want to be a top… I wonder what Yama-chan would say? It's been like over two years and he has to submit one day, right?_ While Mizusawa gets lost in his own Etchi thoughts something transpires at the end of the table.

"Nii-chan," Nippori whispers into Wataru's ear.

"Is there a problem Keiji-kun? Nii-chan's right here." He reasures, before he reaches down and grabs Nippori's straining penis. It had been a long time since he had any kind of release. He gasps and blushes."There it is..." Wataru narrates.

"Not here nii-chan! this is embarrassing!" He hurriedly whispers.

"Be quiet, or you'll draw attention to us... It's been so long since we were this close, I miss this... I just wanna take care of you." Nippori starts to protest. "Relax, everybody's looking at Yuta this will only take about two minutes anyway... I can tell you've missed me too."

"But nii-chiiiiyaannnn~" He whispers, getting close.

 _It looks like he really needs it, but it's not as if he normally lasts long..._

"Shhh, Keiji-kun, it will be over soon, don't make too much noise. ok?"

"I'll try, but I'm reaching my limit." After whispering to Wataru he plants face into his shoulder and gently screams, reaching climax and when he opens his eyes nobody has a clue about what just happened. Wataru is disappointed that nothing came out this time and blames himself, rather than considering that there was another factor. Yuta continues moving the dolls to demonstrate the routine and they resume the conversation casually.

"Thanks nii-chan! I want to make it up to you but I don't know how yet, can I stay over, Friday?"

"How many times do I have to tell you? I take care of you because that makes me happy. I can take care of myself, but you're welcome any time, if that's what you want," Being selfless was _hard_ in more ways than one, but Wataru would never ask for anything like that. If only Nippori was not as easily excitable, he would have been able to sit through lunch quite comfortably. But now he has a problem, well only a semi problem but it disturbs him. Nippori returns his attention to the meeting and forgets completely about Wataru, then he glances at Mizusawa and remembers to reciprocate. He now thinks only of, "Aniki's happiness" as he slips his hand under the table, not taking his eyes of Yuta, or the rest of the group because he's nervous. He was still yet to see Wataru's parts but at least he was going to

 _...Actually touch them for the first time._ Wataru swats his hand away before he makes contact, but Nippori is persistent, mostly due to curiosity.

 _Eeeeh!? Now's a really bad time for this... I don't wanna shock him, he's not ready for this, I can't even explain those hairs. Not forgetting the sticky stuff!..._ Nippori grabs and gets solid fistful, which flatters and delights him because it lets him know he can make Wataru get _like that_. Now that he knows he's hard he's even more determined. Reaching for the waistband. Nippori is still not looking in Wataru's direction. Wataru decides to prepare him.

"Ok, you can do it... If it's gonna make you happy, but just know that I'm different to you down there, don't react, but you've been warned." That doesn't act as a deterrent but spurs him on.

 _Wow! It's so big and throbbing... I'm so nervous, my heart goes doki doki*! This is so different to that Sunday morning... The heat is unreal…. Oh no! Mine's back! Already? What now I can't ask him again... He just does whatever I ask all of a sudden and I don't want him to get too tired. I'll cross my legs, so he doesn't notice... I think it should go when I leave him._

All these sensations are too overwhelming for the poor boy. Wataru notices his shift in position and gets the suspicion that ' _something'_ has happened again. Being so sensitive to Nippori's needs, he uses his initiative reaches out once again. Just over the fabric and his findings support the theory.

 _So kind and thoughtful! He knows me so well already just like in the film…_

Then without any skin to skin contact, Nippori's emotions well up so much he loses it again, biting his fist to suppress the sound. As a reflex, he ends up tightening his grasp on Wataru who realises what just happened and the power he has over Nippori, sending him over the edge. He clenches his teeth and his knuckles go white, as his hand clamps down on the bench, beneath them. Nippori is pleased to have satisfied his aniki, but instinctively retracts his arm to his side, still under the table for closer inspection.

 _What is that? it looks like milk, I did learn that mammals produce milk in biology... Let me taste it._ He dips a finger into the warm fluid and brings the finger to his nose and sniffs then tentatively sticks out his tongue and licks, It's not unpleasant but he wipes off the rest with a napkin. Confused, but more curious than worried

Author's note

*Doki doki→onomatopoeia for rapidly beating heart.


	12. Chapter 12

Nippori walks Mizusawa home on his way to the primary school.

"Have there been any more developments since I last saw you?"

"Do you mean since we spoke? Because last time I saw you there was a development, simultaneously,"

"Hmmm... do you mean you had an erection?..." Nippori blinks, anticipating an explanation. Mizusawa elaborates. "Your ochinchin stood up? Because that's not what I'm asking has anything changed between the two of you since we last spoke?"

"Oh, I see, you mean the morning, right?"

"Exactly,"

"Well, I felt aniki's ochinchin this lunchtime and made him feel good but, I still haven't repaid him because he helped me twice."

"What!?"

"Yeah, are you proud of me? I felt it for the first time and it was like, sooo warm!"

"First of all, there's no debt that you owe you just act as you feel when you feel it and secondly we were together all lunch, where did you find the time to do that?"

"Oh, that happened... Errm... When we were together, under the table. Why? Is that bad?"

"Do you remember when I said it was just as private as taking a dump?"

"I tried to make him stop then he touched me and then I forgot about all your rules. Where d'ya even get 'em from? Nobody knew what was happening."

 _Come to think of it how did I miss that? What's up with this guy?... Oh my word, he doesn't even know the first thing but he's so advanced!... What is this jealousy? Well it would be nice to be both more adventurous and less experienced..._

"Did you just say twice? Pokei-chan?"

"Yeah, it's a real nuisance. Once it goes down it comes straight back up, when I'm with aniki, unless I fall asleep or get distracted which is what happened every time up until yesterday."

 _Oh, the vitality of youth!… Look at me, talking like an old man! I'm only a year older. But I am inspired by his drive to please Wataru and enchanted by his naivety. Maybe I should follow his example with Yama-chan... I just wish his family wasn't preventing us from being as carefree as those two. He promised me he'd never take a wife, but why would he tell me that if he hadn't considered it? His expression changes which concerns Nippori_

"Are you alright? Mizusawa-senpai?"

"Of course, I was just marvelling at how easily excited you are with Wataru, you've never even seen a naked person have you."

"Well not outside my family... It's not like I've ever really been interested it that sort of thing. It kind of grosses me out anyway."

 _He is really clean minded... Oh~ That innocence is so refreshingly sweet... I wonder how he reacted when he first saw the kiss in the film he must have been so confused._ Mizusawa giggles.

"What's so funny?"  
"You're so cute Pokei-chan!" He frowns, feeling patronised. "You really don't have any clue about what went on under the covers!" He pats him on the back jokingly. "Hmm… Let me hear your theory."

"Well, I don't know... Kissing, hugging and bouncing? All at the same time?... But for some reason because you do it with the person you love you get extra happy?..." He looks to Mizusawa for confirmation and he just nods, knowingly, really wanting to see how far Nippori's innocence will go. "But the sad thing is I'll probably have a really hard time controlling my ochinchin if I'm that close to aniki." Mizusawa strokes his chin pensively, taking in the adorable imagination of Nippori. "I mean today it felt really good when he only put his hand over my trousers. I found it really hard to be quiet that time, so I clenched my fist and bit down on it."

Aaaaaahhhh~ premature ejaculation is so cute!... Wow! He's so sensitive... Maybe my age has lead my desire to switch roles to come out a bit more?... Now, I just want to be the dominant one! Oh~ Yama-chan doesn't know how lucky he is. If I were straight I'd still be considered a virgin...

"That sounds messy."

"No not particularly... But at the same time, I held on to aniki really tight and then there was white on my hand. I thought it was milk but it tasted way different."

 _He's really honest... Well more like shameless._

"Nothing comes out?"

"Oh, is that weird? Hmm... Well before aniki's dad died I got so excited, at school!... Do you remember how I told you he put his mouth on my ochinchin? Some see through stuff kept dripping and I felt like I was gonna pee in aniki's mouth but he stopped and used his hand then I think I peed but it wasn't as runny as normal and it was just a few spots. Nothing like that has happened since though."

 _I see dry orgasms?... It's been a good few years since I had one of those… No wonder he has such quick recovery time... And the seminal fluid thing might have been his body trying to act before it was ready... I suspect it was mainly encouraged by something like a slight diet change and the effect Wataru has on him, I can tell he's really not ready._

"You're not weird! You're just going through a change and I'm sure you're not the latest to ever start, you'll get there."

 _I'm sure I've still got the puberty leaflet from when I was eleven knocking about, it's not too complex, it should just tell him what to expect… I must remember to give it to him, when he gets that thing..._

The primary school sneaks up on them.

"Ok I'm still excited for that gift tomorrow is it a toy?"  
"Yes, well... Don't get your hopes up, it won't be anything like what you'd expect."

"See you tomorrow, Mizusawa-senpai"

"What happened to 'sensei'? I noticed you stopped calling me it."

"You haven't really answered my questions yet."

"Just you wait, you're in for a really big shock tomorrow."

"I can't wait, bye sensei!" Nippori teases.

"Bye, Pokei-chan."

 **Quick shout out to those guys that are actually reading this, it made my day! I actually walked around the house laughing to myself, unable to comprehend the amount of support I'm getting from you guys. You're all amazing individuals, I'm just glad I could share a little bit of my imagination with you. I've got my French oral this Monday, but channelling my creativity in written form really helps me to relax. Not that it helps me focus... Lets just say this is my main form of procrastination and there is a lot more to come.**


	13. Chapter 13

They walk together again on Thursday morning and Nippori is keen to get straight to the point.

"I've been thinking about aniki."

 _Don't tell me, he's gone and discovered masturbation at this late stage…._

"About how I want to make him happy..."

 _Woah, he's so selfless, he even forgot about his gift._

"Go on you can tell me, it's not like you've ever held back before."

"It's about the mouth thing, will you teach me? It all went so fast with aniki before I don't know if I can copy it exactly… And aniki's so big… I'm a bit anxious and I'd be grossed out too if it were anyone else."

"You say he's 'big' right?" He asks, trying not to sound too intrigued. Nippori nods "You can start by licking" Nippori closes his eyes and flicks out his tongue, miming eating an oversized ice cream. "Not like that you're being too gentle, let's get milk lollies. I'll buy yours." They happen to be conveniently approaching the local newsagent.

"Thank you sensei," He says this sincerely now.

They emerge from the shop, with the phallic lollies in toe. Mizusawa has white and Nippori pink.

"Wait, Pokei-chan, don't bite it, that defeats the object."

"Oops you're right"

"Follow my lead." He suggestively licks the lolly firmly from base to tip, dwelling on the tip before going back to the base and this time, he caresses it more. Nippori stares, gobsmacked.

"I think I can do that, but this is what aniki did." He surrounds the lolly with his mouth and takes it as far in as it will go, the ice cream dribbles down his face, "I can't go any further but aniki went right up to the kintama* then not long after that…"

 _Squeee~ He has no stamina, that is so boyishly charming..._

"Well, it's different for you, If Wataru is as big as you say, you'll really struggle to replicate his actions."

"That's too bad... I wanted him to feel like I did."  
"You can only try your best and if you can only get as far as that on a mini milk, you've got no chance." He says bluntly, before remembering Nippori's feelings. "But your enthusiasm's good you'll need that, if you want to keep going for more than five minutes. Ok, now you understand, why not start with licking? That still feels better than a hand."

Nippori mimic's Mizusawa to the best of his ability, his spirits are not easily lowered so he resumes his efforts, with the same gusto." That's it! Now you're getting the hang of it, next is sucking but make sure you don't choke... Just relax and don't push yourself remember an ochinchin is way thicker than a mini milk,"

"Mine isn't... But aniki's is, you're right!... And I'll grow won't I?"

"Exactly, that's what I like about you, you never let anything get you down unless it concerns someone else's feelings."

"Well. Yeah 'cos if it's my problem it doesn't bother me too much... I just can't stand to see others struggle... Besides it's embarrassing for everyone to be able to see your ochinchin when we're training and performing."

 _And there I was thinking he had no shame._

"All the old ladies and girls will be disgusted, right? Like you said?"

 _Is he really content with staying modest for the sake of others?_

"Wow, I'm really impressed with your thoughtfulness, back to our lesson." Remarkably, Mizusawa is able to get to the bottom of the ice lolly, in one quick motion which amazes Nippori who tries to copy and chokes."Woah hold your horses, you're not ready for that yet"

"I wish I was.."

"Just start by slowly surrounding it with your lips." And he does.

"Then suck like you're sipping on the straw of a really thick milkshake."

Nippori carries out the instructions successfully, then releases with a pop which sends a shiver down Mizusawa's spine.

"Is it like this sensei?"

"That's right keep going but when the time comes, you may have to use your hand for assistance."

 _Wait! Why do I want him to keep going? He's passed all the necessary challenges..._

"Is it like this sensei?" He adds a hand, holding it just shy of the ice cold surface, while doing the motion.

"Exactly, you can stop now, look at the state of your mouth." He teases while producing a handkerchief and pressing it to Nippori's face, that beams with a sense of achievement. Mizusawa gets a small thrill from dabbing clean that cheesy grin.

"Well done Pokei-chan! Now I just have one question? When do you want to sleep with Wataru?"

"I've already slept with him. I'd sleep with him every day if I could. He's so warm and cuddly."

"Not like that, sleeping with someone is an innuendo for sex."

 _I feel bad corrupting someone who's so unbelievably innocent... Well, he isn't, physically anymore, but he knows so little…_

"Oh, I get you! It's like when someone says 'I need to see a man about a dog' but really, they need a wee. So and innuendo just to stop us saying something embarrassing?"

 _I wish people would just say what they mean…_

"Yeah something like that, because some words just seem to make others feel uncomfortable... So we avoid them."

"Well ,in that case, I want to sleep with Wataru as soon as you tell me how."

 _That's it, he's really keen... I can't keep him in the dark any longer. Plus, I really want to see how he reacts when he finds out, he'll probably be less likely to rush at least._

"Ok this relates to your present and will probably creep you out a bit but..." He lays his eyes on Karasumori an realises it's too late. "Alright, that's it for the morning, Pokei-chan... To be continued after school"

"OK see you then. Thank you for setting me up for the weekend, I can't wait!"

 _I know he doesn't know what's coming but he's really patient he showed no reaction to not finding out what sex was. He still probably can't even guess what is involved..._

Author's note

*Kintama means family jewels but directly translates to 'gold ball'.

 **My French oral went better than I thought it would, and I just made it through a 20km sponsored walk. Lets just say I'm feeling liberal enough to give you another bonus week.**


	14. Chapter 14

This morning, after the oral lesson Mizusawa's adrenaline was going and he felt like he could tell Nippori everything with no hesitation, but now he's nervous.

 _Ok, how am I going to do this? I can't get a book from the library... The scientific books are all straight and that'll just confuse him. How far can I possibly simplify this?... Gay sex is so complicated it involves a lot more patience and preparation... There are so many details... That's it! I'll invite him to my house... I won't do anything... Or even touch him, I'll just explain with gestures._

"Oi Nippori." Nippori spots Mizusawa in the crowd and waves frantically, then dashes up to meet him.

"Yo, Mizusawa-sensei." They exit the school gates and make their way to the primary school.

"Hi… Erm, are you busy? Can you come over today? This lesson will need to be extended."

"Not when I've got the kids, but you can come to mine."

"That's fine, I'll just grab a few bits and bobs from my house, as you go to the school."

"That's great!"

"So did you get any action today"?

"Eeeh?"

"Did anything happen between you and Wataru?"

"Of course I did... But I listened to what you said about it being private so I didn't ask for help... But he knew! He even notices sometimes before I do. I tried to stay quiet and it hurt so much!..." Mizusawa looks at him sympathetically. "...Tears started to come out. I always cry when I'm in pain." He adds, "So he grabbed my hand and lead me to the roof. I didn't want to worry him, but he thought I had a bigger issue and he's so strong... So I went with him."

*****FLASH BACK*****

"Tell me what's wrong." He gently whispers.

 _I can't stand to see him struggle plus mum said not to let him cry again,_

"It's nothing." He lies. Wataru gently grips his chin with his free hand and eases his face forward. Nippori stares at the ground.

"It's not as bad as you think, don't worry..." The mixture of feelings with the sensation of Wataru holding his hand for the first time as well as, Wataru's kind nature coming out, as it has a habit of doing when they are alone together only ignites his passions. He lets out a suppressed moan and leans in to hug Wataru. Drying his tears on the fabric of his uniform as he nestles into his shoulder and takes in Wataru's youthful fragrance. Nippori leans in closer and at that moment, Wataru realises what issue Nippori had been suffering in silence with. He releases Nippori and sits him down. "Why didn't you tell me? You're crying like last time you tried to hide it."

"Sorry nii-chan, I don't help you nearly as much as you help me and I feel like we should only do this in private since it was so risky before." Wataru kisses Nippori passionately.

"You're too kind Keiji-kun! I never want you to suffer. Don't think you have to be in pain to prevent me from helping you. It's no effort at all and it's a privilege to make you smile." Wataru releases Nippori's straining penis and in a matter of seconds jerks Nippori to completion all while engaging in a spicy French kiss. Nippori's moans are muffled by the welcoming confines of Wataru's unskilled but energetic mouth. They stop kissing and Nippori reaches for Wataru's obvious hardon he swats Nippori's hand away again.

"Why is it one rule for me and another for you?" He protests.

"You deserve better than me, I'm just happy you actually like me back, like I like you."

"I don't like you," Wataru's heart shatters into a million pieces. "I love you, Nii-chan!"

 _Mizusawa was right, I didn't even think about it!... That's a weight off my chest._

Wataru thinks _, So that's what this is?…_

"I love you too." Nippori plants a kiss on his lips. "Why did you say you didn't like me? I almost fell for it and then my chest really ached!"

"Sorry. I didn't think, I just wanted you to know, I more than like you... See, I care about you as much as you care about me so let me show you." For the first time, Wataru did not feel self-conscious or inadequate, instead, he understood that Nippori wanted to be equal, rather than served. Despite how much Wataru had lived to please him in recent weeks, he realises this is part of the promise, Nippori feels the same as him and that means letting him help will make him happy, so he lets him. Nippori hesitantly reaches out to expose Wataru's penis, for the first time. "Oh! Nii-chan! I didn't know you dyed your hair… Why do you have hair here?"

"I think it means I'm grown up, since it appeared near ' _that'_ time, when I was alone in the shower. It's on my armpits too and I've seen men and women with that at the beach and stuff so, I think there's a pattern." Nippori gets really anxious to touch now he's seen it in all it's glory. Blood is once again flowing south, this time, Nippori is happy to ask."Nii-chan!" He takes his hand and moves it into place. Wataru marvels at Nippori's tenacious erections and is flattered. The two touchdown simultaneously and they start to kiss intensely again. No more words need to be exchanged. Before long Nippori has to disrupt their kiss. "Nnnnnnnnnnnnn~ Nuh….nuh….nuh nii-chan it's time again…."

Wataru speeds up. to match Nippori's pace "Kiiiiimmoooochiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!*~ Niiiiiiiiiii-chiiiiiiiyyyyyyyaaaaaaannnnn!~." He writhes in ecstasy beneath Wataru's rapidly moving fist."Ok, it's too intense now." He stops Wataru and then, the bell goes, but neither of them mind being late for this. Nippori had stopped moving his hand and clenched it, but the bell brings him back to reality. He remembers Wataru and resumes the motion. Having seen that display he doesn't need much more. Seeing Nippori like that is really the best aphrodisiac. Wataru's throbbing mass is engorged and ready to erupt. His hips start spasmodically thrusting into Nippori's tiny hand. He adds his other hand and starts to move faster. "Ohh~ Keiji-kun get ready because something is about to happen!... Don't be disgusted."

"Nothing about you can disgust me, but your milk did taste funny... Maybe that's why we have cows!" That was it for Wataru, something about Nippori tasting his ' _stuff'_ yesterday really got him going. "Mmmmmm... Mmmmm… Aaaaahhh~!" He groans as he sprays all over the surface of the roof. Nippori kisses him. They move on to lessons after they cool down.

 _*****END OF FLASHBACK*****_

"I didn't mean to let you suffer like that, I was just a bit grossed out that you did that while I was eating in the dining room."

"Sorry about that. I won't ever do that in a crowded room again. I understand now, if I think of you doing that with Kiyama, no hand washing after!... Just sitting at the table! With my food there!?" He wrinkles up his face at the thought of it. "It was just hard to say no, when I needed it so badly."

"Oh yeah and cows are girls, not boys milk comes from the oppai*, not ochinchin."

"So what came out?"

 _How do I explain this without going off topic onto women and fertilisation? Which he won't get since as far as I know he still doesn't know where babies come from***._

"They're seeds."

"Oh, you grow people!?… Where?" Mizusawa thinks of an explanation that's not too complicated.

"Special soil that only women have, many like to keep their babies once they've grown and become mothers, but some give them away."

"Wait! I know that soil, it's in their tummy! I remember that's where my youngest brother was before my mum died... He came out ok though... I don't really remember it very well, he'll be seven soon." The mood changes and Mizusawa still struggles to see how Nippori continues to cope with all the hardships he's been put through. Nippori is sensitive to others feelings and changes the subject. "So that's where me and aniki will get ours from."

 _He's so caring and doesn't even realise the significance of what he said! Awww…_

"Yeah me too!"

 _Maybe..._

"Speaking of children why don't you go get your siblings, meet you back here in ten." They arrive at the primary school and Mizusawa has to retrieve something from his house.

Author's note

*Kimochi ii→This feels amazing.

**Oppai→ boobs.

***I missed sex education in year seven because of a music project and if it wasn't for sources outside of school you might not be reading this fanfic.


	15. Chapter 15

They arrive at Nippori's house and the kids disperse. Leaving Nippori's oldest younger sister to greet them.

"Okaeri* Keiji!... And friend." She looks Mizusawa up and down letting her imagination run wild. Who'd have thought such a scenario with a protective younger sister would come to be!?

"This is Mizusawa-sen..." He stops himself. "Senpai." The two bow in greeting and simultaneously say "Nice to meet you."

 _So he's older huh?_

"You don't normally have friends over Keiji, I've never met this Mizusawa guy before."

"Oh, yeah we normally all hang out at Wataru's mum's place, since it's more convenient, it was actually not my idea. Mizusawa invited me to his house, but I had to take those two home, so we came here together."

 _What kind of idea was this? I need to get to the bottom of it..._

"I've seen you before, remember the tumbling event? Where you all cheered for Pokei-chan?" _So he's on the team?…_

She doesn't recognise him, since he blends into crowds so easily. His skill is mediocre, not so brilliant that it catches your eye and not so terrible that he draws attention to himself, that seems to be his style in general.

' _Pokei-chan'? He's really familiar with my brother then...Why does the nickname sound so feminine!?..._

"Yeah, that was us. So what brings you to our humble abode?" She changes the subject, while trying to make deductions.

"He says he wants to teach me something! And he's got a present!" Nippori cheerfully interrupts as his excitement over flows.

"I see."

 _Oh, this is my fault I wonder if his... Crush?... Reflected on how emotional he was in the film, judging by his reactions on Sunday... They haven't done anything yet… This cute older guy better not do anything to hurt my brother. What exactly does he plan on teaching!? This present had better not be a sexual favour or I'll burst in and beat him with a frying pan!?_

"Keiji what kind of present do you think it is?" She interrogates to get an idea, opting to exploit her brother's honesty.

"I don't have a clue, it's a surprise! He's been teasing me with it all week!"

 _Will these two stop!... Neither of them know how inappropriate it is to discuss this gift it's making me nervous._

Nippori's oldest younger sister (Let's call her Imouto-san real name -Nippori Hinako-) glares at Mizusawa and follows his line of sight out of the window.

 _Why won't he look this way? Don't tell me he's actually gonna do something Etchi!?_

"Ok, you two have fun!" She puts on a deceitful fake smile to fool the boys, unbeknownst to them, she's actually plotting something. They go into Nippori's bedroom which he shares, but is conveniently vacant for Mizusawa's purposes. Imouto-san arms herself and follows them to the bedroom a few minutes after she knows they've settled in, hoping to save her brother from losing his virtue, or at least that's what she assumes.

Meanwhile in Nippori's room.

"Ok sleeping together is something people should only do if they really _love_ each other, _understand_ each other and have made their promises to be together forever... Vows if you will, "

"Yeah we did that, so I'm ready right?"

"Yes, you meet the criteria but you can only be ready when you know what ' _it'_ is. "

"True and I don't even know if Wataru's ready yet."

"Exactly and trust me you are not ready. It's been, what? Less than two weeks? Give it another few ok?"

"If you say so, anyway can you just tell me what sex is already."

"Of course, you'll be shocked though." Mizusawa leans in and whispers the ' _ins'_ and ' _outs'_ , but It's just a basic textbook version, (for those who don't know its penis+ anus).

Just at that moment Imouto-san happens to be getting in position, as she lines up her ear with the glass and the door, frying pan in hand her eyes widen.

"Errr, that's gross! Awwww sick!" Nippori exclaims, he would have fallen off his seat if they weren't already on the floor.

 _What? I didn't think I was right about this!... That has to be out of context? Right?_

"Do you love your anik?"

 _What kind of pervert is he? Does he have some kind of younger brother fetish? He better not be putting pressure on my bro I won't stand for it!_

"Ok, I'll do it!"

 _Come on Keiji! You're better than this… I suppose that is the danger of ignorance... That's it I'm going in!_

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BROTHER!" She points the frying pan at Mizusawa as she observes the look of disgust and reluctance on Nippori's face.

"It's not what you think!" He pleads, but Imouto-san's scowl doesn't falter. "Maybe I should leave."

"Yeah, maybe you should!"

"Wait! Mizusawa-sen…" He thinks for a second. "...pai."

"Sorry Pokei-chan I don't want to overstay my welcome. Bye." He grabs his stuff and heads for the door. Imouto-san follows him with her eyes, still threatening with the frying pan. Mizusawa leaves.

"Aww, you scared him away, he's really kind to me you know."

"I bet he is,"

"That's right and you made him leave without giving me my gift." He traces shapes on the floor and stares at his feet as he does it, sulking.

"Good, I'm glad."

 _Few, that was a close one!_

"Did he touch you?"

"No, why would Mizusawa-senpai touch me?"

"Yeah you're right, what was I thinking? So… Errm... what were you talking about before I interrupted."

"Oh, that? That was something…"

 _If she finds out about that she'll definitely be more grossed out than me, Mizusawa said this sort of thing was private, I think I'd rather she didn't know about that..._

"Sorry girl like you probably shouldn't hear about... For your own sake… I'm not just trying to keep it from you… I mean, you'd probably vomit." He's serious.

"I can take it."

 _...This sounds fishy but it could have been some kind of gross practical joke but that's not the end of it though..._

"Ok, that's enough arguing for one day." Nippori instinctively diffuses the situation. Imouto-san leaves to do homework. Nippori manages tasks around the house.

 _Why would I want to put my ochinchin in aniki's ketsu**? I don't understand the goal, or how anything like that could even compete with Nintendo games. I'm definitely not ready. I'll maybe even wait another year, I'm in no hurry to do 'that'._

Authors note

*Okaeri→ Welcome home.

** Ketsu→Slang for bum, like arse.


	16. Chapter 16

It's Friday morning and Nippori is eagerly anticipating the weekend, most of all, seeing the look on Wataru's face. As he drops off the kids, he catches sight of Mizusawa and the events of last night come flooding back.

"I'm sorry about how my sister treated you, she was really worried about me for some reason."

"That's not a problem. We can continue the lesson now. Anal hurts, especially for the first time."

"Ok, I'm not doing it then."

What is the good in that? First it's disgusting, now it's painful...

"There are ways around it though you have to do a rim job."

"What's up with all these jobs for names? They sound well tiring."

"That's not the point, they're all nicknames for something else."

"So the name's meaningless? Can you translate it for me?"

"The real name should be something like anus licking."

"Shut, the front door! That's the worst innuendo yet!"

"You take a really good shower first, for hygiene reasons so it's clean, and it actually feels pretty good. I can sometimes even just get off from being stimulated that way."

It's been quite a while since I needed that though... So it would kinda be a treat for me now… I suppose the only way to initiate that would be… To do him before he does me?... It seems to have slipped my mind to let him experience it... Thinking back he must have just seen it as 'a necessity' for my comfort, with 'no other purpose'.

"You're still not convincing me,"

"You thought sucking a penis was gross and now you can't wait."

"Well that's because it would make Wataru feel good, but this won't... I don't want him to be in pain."

"No, tops don't feel pain. Anyway, you start the stretching by really digging your tongue in, that part actually feels good, like I said."

"So there is no smell or taste?"

"Why does that bother you?"

Is he thinking of Wataru again? My explanation stinks!... He'll finally get it, when he sees his gift.

"I'm just checking, it helps me to feel more comfortable with it."

There he goes again, his concern for others is so inspiring...

"Don't worry, it's clean enough. I bought you this for the next step. It's called lubricant, nickname lube." He produces a bottle from his bag and hands it to Nippori who smells it, after flipping open the cap.

"You can feel it if you like." Nippori's shocked by the consistency and starts to bring his hand up to his mouth.

"Is that how you react to every new substance? It could be poisonous, I don't know if it's safe."

"Well it says water based and I wouldn't have tried to taste it if it had a warning label... Nothing's been poisonous so far... I'll listen, but now, I'm just curious!"

"Anyway, you cover your fingers with this which helps them go in more easily. The more thorough you are at this stage the less it hurts."

"Ok, now I get it! Then there won't be any pain?... Since my ochinchin's not that big... I don't even think I'll need to use my mouth much!" Mizusawa erupts into laughter. Nippori gets embarrassed and he won't look at Mizusawa. He crouches and holds on to the railing of the bridge gently swinging back and forth on his tiptoes as he looks over the water, tide coming in. A dark purplish cloud appears above his head. Mizusawa realises he hurt his feelings, by laughing, but he couldn't hold it in when he realised how badly his explanation was going. He crouches Besides Nippori and pats his back.

"Don't touch me..." Nippori sulks.

"I wasn't laughing at you, well I was but not because you have a tiny ochinchin."

"Who said 'tiny'? I said 'not that big', but I forgive you." They stand up, Nippori already recovering from what seemed like really harsh actions coming from someone he looks up to.

"What was so funny?"

"Well, How do I explain this?... Everything you thought you were doing to Wataru, the rim job, fingering and whatever else, he will be doing to you."

"You're lying."

"No, you're on the bottom and he's on the top that's where the names come from."

"Oh, they didn't make sense until I knew what sleeping together was... Wait! That's not fair, who decides theses things?"

"Well some people are naturally dominant and some submissive, you usually decide between the two of you but it's obvious in this case. You can always change positions!"

...At least that's the theory.

"Ok, but why is it obvious?"

"You're younger, more slender, your ochinchin is smaller, your hair is longer not that that's a big deal (Yama-chan's is longer than mine) but you have so many qualities to make you a great bottom!... I don't have those qualities and I'm feeling more and more like a top... You're perfect don't change!"

"Why? Do you think, there is a chance you lost the battle for the top position? Or could it be that you just submitted without questioning it because Kiyama is bigger than you? I don't like stereotypes and it happens to me too often. I don't conform to social norms, and that's just a part of who I am. I might look like a criminal but my record is clean. Sometimes, I frighten people, but I want that to change. In the same way, it's like, yeah I cook, clean and take care of children but that's never gonna stop me from fighting for the top position. I refuse to let outdated stereotypes dictate the way I live my life. We'll just take turns."

Wow he's good, and he's right, I never even tried with Kiyama! I just accepted everything, but I'll make the move this weekend...

"Thanks, Pokei-chan I needed that, But you know it's ok to be small that's even a desirable trait for bottoms."

Oh yeah?... It's so small you can take it into your mouth all in a single action *Shudder* and he cums so quickly, I really want to see the look on his face... And then... He'll spring to life again!… He goes off on one until, Nippori disrupts his perverted thoughts.

"I'll be the bottom but I'm going to top equally as much, if not more than him."

"Good for you!" Mizusawa congratulates. "I bought this to help you get ready . Why don't you put it in before the first period?. I know I needed to do something like that in the early days, with Yama-chan. I planned to just give you the lube, until you told me Wataru was so big. Take this leaflet too it should tell you the basics of what's going on, read it tonight."

"Thanks." Nippori chirps as he finally receives the gift he had been anticipating for so long.

"Just wear that for about an hour each day until you get used to it, see you." The two enter the school gates, not looking back as they go their separate ways Nippori's destination, the toilet.


	17. Chapter 17

Nippori hastily unwraps his gift, it's green and only just smaller than his penis, it's thin but gets slightly thicker near the bottom. He squirts some of the lubricant on it and makes sure it gets a good coating. The hard part's coming up now. He pulls down his trousers, eager to try out his new toy. He lines it up and presses down, biting his lip as a single tear ekes out. But he perseveres and passed the first barrier, tears flowing freely now, he was crying silently before, but as the buttplug reaches it's peak thickness he has to choke back the tears.

 _Well, at least it's in now. I feel funny... Like, really full... Hmm... How am I supposed to walk with this?_ He clears up the rubbish and puts his trousers back on. Then bravely emerges, certain that everyone can tell. Mizusawa sees him and sends him a knowing look then, gets really concerned when he realises Nippori had been crying.

"Why were you crying? That is the smallest buttplug in circulation!" He whispers having rushed up to meet him. He feels really sorry for Nippori.

 _He's so sensitive! Definitely not ready... Oh, it's my fault!_

"I made a mistake Pokei-chan."

"No, you didn't I just need to get used to it that's all."

 _He's doubting me… I know I can do this… It's just gonna take time._

"Actually I did, I forgot to give you some advice it would have helped."

"That's ok at least I'll know for next time."

 _Nippori's so forgiving. Now, I just feel even guiltier._

"Ok, the rule is that you push out when you do that, it helps the muscles to relax."

"I don't get how pushing out helps,"

"Unless you're on the toilet you're not relaxed down there, otherwise there would be many unfortunate mishaps, with… You know. So you only relax when you push."

"That makes sense. Thanks, Mizusawa-sensei!" They go to lesson and they have a Tumbling session this lunchtime so Nippori's mode of the minute is trying to improve his skill.

Then while Kaneko and the rest focus on a more tricky part of the choreography, Nippori's thoughts turn to hunger since he's missing lunch. Mizusawa approaches.

"How was the buttplug?"

"Eeeehhh? Oh yeah! The little upside down ice cream cone? I forgot it was there,"

"See, I told you you'd get used to it, but you can take it out the next chance you get if you want, an hour a day is good enough."

"Will it hurt?"

"I'm not gonna lie, it probably will, but not as much as when it went in. You just have to relax,"

"That's a relief!... Nobody could tell I was wearing it, thank goodness, but when I first put it in I felt like everyone knew and I was going to be caught, any minute."

"Keep going with it on the weekend, but no more than an hour a day, there's no harm in it but your body needs to adjust slowly." Practice finishes and Nippori goes to the toilet to remove the buttplug. Before he didn't know what to expect so he was much more willing, now he's anticipating searing pain so he's a bit more reluctant, he takes a huge breath and braces himself. Then ever so gently removes the anal obstruction, it stings a bit but doesn't cry this time. He feels very empty and becomes more aware of the sensitivity of his back passage. When he leaves he has to adjust his gait to avoid limping.

Later, Mizusawa tells him he's going to Kiyama's house, so they won't walk together and wishes him luck. He decides not to let slip that he will try to top Kiyama, in case he is not successful. They part ways and as usual Nippori collects the kids and drops them off, he packs a bag and starts to leave when Imouto-san stops him. "Where are you going? Remember you have work first thing tomorrow."

"I'm going to aniki's." Imouto-san's heart starts racing as she feels she can't defend her brother this time. "You look mad, do you need me to stay? Dinner's in the oven in needs to come out at five I made it last night so you wouldn't have to worry, I really need to go."

"Why? You don't owe him anything."

"You know, Wataru. With the red hair. He dyes it you know! I haven't been to his house since his dad died and he looks happy, but I still wanna cheer him up."

"Yeah I know him…" She thinks for a few seconds."I like him, you can spend as much time with him as you like." Which of the two is the authoritative one becomes more apparent. _There he goes again with his honesty, who ever dyes their hair is none of my business... I can trust Wataru, at least he prevented Keiji from being in a Yankee gang... I can definitely see he's a good influence. I can't imagine anything going on between them._

"In fact the more the better. I'll see you after work tomorrow night," They say goodbye to each other and Nippori leaves.


	18. Chapter 18

Later that day, at Wataru's house. Nippori arrives and greets Natsuko, very politely she says her drama is coming on so they can't use the TV, but are welcome to stay in the living room. Wataru takes this as an opportunity to invite Nippori to his room. They go in.

"Ohh, nii-chan, you messed up your room again." Nippori feigns being annoyed at him, when he's not really surprised.

"Well, it's been so long since you were last here." By this point, Nippori isn't listening, he busies himself tidying and the mode of the minute is 'keep things clean'. So he doesn't get aroused, like Wataru expected. Which leads him to get very _uncomfortable_ in anticipation.

"Come on, Keiji-kun you can relax now, you don't have to do my chores for me."

"I don't have to but... I need to, if I don't keep things tidy... I get anxious and I really can't relax... It's like an internal itch, you can't scratch."

"Are you sure?" Wataru flirts

"Sorry, I won't be able to think of anything else until I get this room straight."

"You didn't care before,"

"That's because I didn't see it until I woke up." Wataru doesn't press further and reflects on how lucky he is to have someone so caring choose _him_ out of the rest of the world's population and changes into his pyjamas, making no effort to conceal his raging erection. Nippori takes no notice. Wataru reclines on the bed with tented trousers.

"Tea should be ready for seven but you can have a snack before then." He makes a weak effort to attract Nippori's attention.

"That's ok I'm not hungry thanks." He doesn't even turn his head. "That's it I've finished, you're so messy nii-chan!" He huffs some minutes later and then as he turns towards Wataru, he notices. "Woah! How long have you been like that?" He rushes to the bedside and kneels down, clasping Wataru's hand and pleading for forgiveness, with his worried eyes. "You were trying to get my attention before, I'm sorry,"

"You've got nothing to apologise for, it's thanks to you my room's clean and I was just thinking about how much I wanted to thank you! Mostly for making me so happy, by being around me everyday, I want you to know that!... If you weren't here I'd never've recovered as quickly after my dad, you know..." Nippori stops his lips with a kiss. Then starts to work his trousers down. Then positions himself for the event that he trained for, on Thursday morning.

"I'm not going to last long If you do that."

"Good I need to make this up to you and I don't want you to have to wait any longer." Nippori keeps hold of of Wataru's hand and takes his first taste. Wataru is leaking everywhere but it doesn't make him envious or revolted instead all he wants to do is increase that volume, by making Wataru 'feel good.' "Wait, nii-chan take all your clothes off."

 _We've only got forty minutes before we eat but I can't resist doing what he says who knows where this'll go..._

"Only if you do."

"I'll race you!" He announces, already undoing his top button.

"Ok, I'm naked. I won!" Wataru declares after a minute.

"That's not fair uniform is hard to get out of," He mock-complains.

"Ok, it's a draw, anyway what's so special about being naked?"

"I wanted to see your body."

 _I'm glad his is the first naked body I've seen outside of my family!…_

He reaches out to feel Wataru's arm

"Woah, your arm is so hard! Is it all bone?"

"No, that's muscle. I've never done any weight training, but I like to stay active, as you know." Nippori finally manages to get fully naked. "Your arms and legs are completely hairless too?"

"Yeah but it's not like you have much."

"No, look closer." He leans in, to actually get a look at Wataru's body and picks out the smallest most unremarkable hairs littering his body.

"Nii-chan!? I never noticed you were this hairy!" He notes, genuinely astonished. "And look your stomach is divided up into six little rectangles."

 _Eh? That wasn't mentioned in Mizusawa's leaflet..._

"Oh yeah, they're muscles as well, you can punch it if you want."

"No, I don't want to hurt you."

 _I like the fact that he's worried about me, but he'll probably end up hurting his hand more than he could ever hope to hurt me..._

"Actually, use all your strength but be careful because you might hurt your knuckles." Nippori tries, with all his might.

"Wow, you were right! Your stomach is rock hard _and_ so is your _ochinchin~_ " He notices, as he explores lower down. "Oops! I got distracted again,"

"You're hard too."

"You're right," He giggles

"Get into the bed,"

"No, I had a plan." He tries to resist the urge to do as he's told, for his aniki's sake.

"You know you want to... You can show me whatever you had planned later, we've got just under twenty minutes." The two get under the covers and hug, Nippori reacts immediately to the touch and sensory overload. As his lips brush up against Wataru's shoulder he tastes his sweat, smells his teenage musk, sees the passion in his eyes and hears the want in his voice. Nippori clenches his arm's around Wataru's wide frame as far as they go as his hips thrust uncontrollably. "Aaaaaaarrrrrrgggggggh nnnnnnnnniiiiiiiii-chyaaaaaaaaannnnn!~" He grimaces and bites his lip as the waves of orgasm wrack his body. Wataru hugs him closer and their penises touch."That was a good one nii-chan let's keep going." Wataru glances at the clock.

 _Fifteen minutes left now, will we make it?_ They embrace each other and begin rolling around on the mattress, they grind their penises together, which is really stimulating. Then Nippori tilts his head up and their lips meet, Wataru deepens the kiss.

"Nnnnn nuh… nuh… nii-chan I'm nearly at my limit again," Nippori breaks the kiss.

"If you wait like... Three more minutes we can do it together!"

"Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiii!*" After, he lets go of Wataru's bed sheets and opens his eyes he says. "Sorry Nii-chan, 'it' happened again but at this rate, we can do it together in three minutes, like you said... I'm ready again, just keep going."

"Ok I'm almost there, you're just so fast uuuuunnnnnnnnnn … Keeiiiji-kuuuuunnnn. I can't keep up." He pants, out of breath. "Ooook...Are you ready?"

"I'm sooooo ready, together in three twoooo uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~!"

Nippori ends up being a tiny bit before Wataru, but that's fine because they're both satisfied. Nippori's thoughts turn to food "Nii-chan, I'm a bit peckish."

"I bet you are! You just used up so much energy! Let's get our PJ's back on, we can't eat naked."

"But I'm all sticky nii-chan."

"Good, then I can take a shower with you later." He hints.

Author's note

*Muri→That's impossible!


	19. Chapter 19

Meanwhile at Kiyama's house. The two are spooning on the bed "We've really got used to our routine now, haven't we Yama-chan? We go to your house on Friday then go to mine on Saturday... "

"That's good isn't it?" He interrupts. "You don't want to change that we spend every weekend together do you?" Kiyama feels hurt.

"Absolutely not, I want to spend as much time as possible with you, but why do we have to act like we don't know each other? You're not from a different world anymore, I thought you being on the team would be the start of another chapter, not, forgetting your family's views we can at least be friends in front of the guys." Mizusawa pleads

"It's not that, I'm just worried I'm too familiar with you, I might slip."

"Why don't we do something unfamiliar?" Mizusawa hints as he thrusts his protruding member into Kiyamas stomach.

"You're horny? At seven pm?... Anyway, what's so unfamiliar about sex?" Mizusawa starts to grab at Kiyama's arse, he doesn't react. Mizusawa meets his gazes and raises an eyebrow suggestively.

"Why don't I top tonight?"

"No thanks, I'm not ready."

"Well let me get you ready silly, " Kiyama resists.

"Why don't we just take a break tonight I'm really tired, those new techniques are really doing a number on me." Mizusawa couldn't accept that, he knew the moves in tumbling came naturally and everything he did was both flawless and effortless.

"I don't believe you," He thinks Kiyama is shy -which turns him on even more- so changes tactics. "I'll be gentle."

"I just don't want to ok?" He hisses, but he's not really mad, something is troubling him.

"Do you need time? Time to think? I know being a bottom is new for you, but we should be able to take it in turns sometimes, right?"

"Ok, just give me time, I love you, you know? This is just hard for me... Thank you for being patient. There is no one else I'd rather spend the rest of my life with," He confirms. Mizusawa notes Kiyama's gentle tone and honest words, he feels regret for the lustful thoughts that betrayed him over the past week.

"I know it's a tough ask, we won't try anything tonight." Mizusawa reaches down and starts to get off, solo and unashamedly.

 _It's not that I don't want this, it's bad enough that I don't like girls...He shudders at the thought of being straight. The least I can do is be the 'man' in this relationship. I'm a giver, not a receiver... When I finally come out I don't want my parents to think they've raised a f*g because that's what they'll say and it's hard enough to live this life, without homophobic parents._


	20. Chapter 20

**Today is my Seventeenth birthday and all my AS levels finished this week, so you can enjoy an update every day as part of a** ⭐ **super bonus week,** ⭐ **starting with a double tonight. Please note that all the post script is in bold so the dates of the "Author's notes" might not match up as the chapters were all written months in advance. Thank you for reading and please continue.**

Nippori and Wataru have filled their stomachs and watch ' _Fairy tail'_ together. Nippori's concentration is fixated on the plot. And Wataru seems to be increasingly fascinated by Nippori's angelic face. Which theatrically yawns, however he keeps one eye open to take in the action scene that transpires on the screen.

 _What? He's tired? I wanted to have at least a little bit more fun before he left for work in the morning. We should probably go to bed in the next ten minutes, didn't he say his bedtime was nine at some point? I at least get to stay up to eleven on weekends... Aww his eyelids are shutting and his head's bobbing up and down like a little kitten~... When did I get so sappy!? Get a grip Wataru!..._ He looks at the clock. _It's only ten past eight! Hmm he must have tired himself out earlier... I'd probably have passed out already myself if I did 'that' three times, then ate..._

"Nippori are you tired?" Wataru queries.

"Of course not, what do you take me for aniki? I'm almost a man." Natsuko chuckles, inwardly she was quietly reading in the corner but she couldn't help but overhear. Nippori returns his attention to the screen. His head continues to bob Wataru points it out.

"Oi Nippori, wake up a snore just came out!"

"What? No, I'm awake!" He lies

"It looks like you need to go to bed."

"See even my mum agrees."

"Ok, you're right Mrs Azuma, just after ' _Fairy tail'._ " He wouldn't have been able to lie to her, even if his body wasn't giving him away."

"Don't call me that I'm not married, besides you know me well enough already... You can call me Okaasan, think of this as your second home, ok? The only difference is that here you will be looked after instead of looking after everyone else." Tears well up in Nippori's eyes as he shuffles on his knees to hug Natsuko. "That means a lot Okaasan," Her ovaries feel as though they could just about reach out and latch onto him.

"Now, if only the son I gave birth to would hug me like this." She mockingly sticks her tongue out to Wataru. She had always wanted other kids and it wasn't like her biological clock had run out yet. Her issue had just been circumstance, without a stable relationship plus having a business to run that would've just been illogical.

"He doesn't know what he's missing," He joins in with sticking his tongue out at Wataru. She rubs his back and he starts to nod off again. Nippori really appreciates the feminine comfort and he falls asleep quite easily, instinctively burying his face it to her chest, even nocturnally. "Psst, Wataru put your otouto-bun to bed."

"But he needs a shower." Wataru winges, feeling like everything isn't going to go to plan. She checks

"No, he doesn't he smells amazing, it kind of reminds me of you." She's not wrong about that… Unlike Natsuko, Wataru is not as gentle and flings Nippori over his shoulder like a sack of flour.

"What? Nii-chan where am I?" His tongue slips as he forgets where he is.

"Aww Wataru! He called you 'nii-chan', that's a way sweeter way of referring to his big bro! He really _has_ found comfort here!"

"Oh mother stop acting like such a girl, that's not like you." He expresses his true feelings, but it's just part of their dynamic to say what they really think.

"Sorry, I know you find it easy to forget I'm female, but my motherly nature slipped out and I won't apologise for anything." She powerfully flicks his forehead.

"Ow, I nearly dropped him." Nippori rubs his eyes and yawns.

"You can put me down now. I'll go get our towels, I feel disgusting under theses clothes."

"I'm so impressed! I wish Wataru was as conscious about personal hygiene as you, you don't even smell bad." Nippori goes into the room and retrieves the necessary things, but stops to neaten up the bed sheets. His current goal is to get himself clean, though.


	21. Chapter 21

He leaves the bedroom and goes to the wet room where he and Wataru strip down to nothing. Wataru is standing at _full attention,_ but Nippori doesn't even glance in that direction, as his mode of the minute is get clean and the main focus of the at is to get Wataru's gunk off his stomach. Being sticky in general makes his skin crawl, whether it's from a drink he spilt on his hand or otherwise... He bounds towards the shower and turns on the tap cold water comes out, which makes him slip and land in Wataru's arms. "Oh, nii-chan! Can you help me?" Wataru's ears prick up at the thought of hearing Nippori ask him to touch, but to his dismay, he just wants a warm shower. Wataru's penis brushes up against Nippori's round delectable bum cheeks as he leans over to set the dial, but Nippori's too busy, eagerly anticipating the sensation of having a clean body. He gets into the shower and all the gel washes off his hair, he smiles at Wataru who closes his eyes to lean in for a kiss.

"Shut the door nii-chan I don't want the floor to get wet." He says as he turns around to let a burst of water rain down onto his chest. Wataru does as he says, eyes still closed and lips still puckered

"OW." He bumps his face into the back of Nippori's head.

"Nii-chan are you ok?"

"I'll live. How's your head? Wait a sec, I never noticed your hair was this long it's really pretty!"

"You'd know if I was hurt, I wouldn't be able to stop the tears, anyway, don't you think I'm more _handsome_ than _pretty_? That's what you call good looking men isn't it?" This is his fight for masculinity.

"Nah, you're just cute and I like you that way." He embraces Nippori which alerts him of his problem, changing the subject.

"That reminds me, hold on to the railing, you'll need it." He adds. "This is what I wanted to show you before tea." He kneels down and lines up his mouth with Wataru's staining penis. He makes sensitive and hesitant lick as he thinks back on his Thursday lesson. _Mizusawa-sensei was right, this is way thicker than a mini milk._ Wataru's penis twitches as Nippori really goes for it, licking from base to tip and dwelling on the head, like he was taught. He spends a lot of time doing that and puts all his attention into it, just with his tongue. Wataru's penis bounces up and down, freely spasming as if he were about to ejaculate. Nippori's body sympathises and he orgasms once again, without being touched "Kiiiiiiiyaaaaaaah~ niiiiiii-chyaaaaaaannnnnn!~" He collapses onto the shower floor, briefly, out of breath. "You did it to me again, hee hee!... I absolutely cannot control my ochinchin when I'm with you, if we're not together I forget it's even there, ooh?~ It's back again! But I want to help you finish, my skin is getting wrinkly I don't normally stay in the shower this long."

"Stand up Keiji-kun I want to show you something."

"But I'm not finished." He protests

"There is plenty of time for that, I can wait. " He reluctantly stands, having enjoyed the control he had over Wataru in that position. Wataru takes Nippori's hand and leads it to his erection, like the first time, but now kisses him. He manipulates his hand into going backwards and forwards then let's go. "Wait nii-chan ' _it'_ hasn't happened yet!" He complains.

"I know that's the point."

"Stop teasing me nii-chan, I can't wait."

"I bet you can't." He snickers

"This isn't funny nii-chan it hurts," Tears start to flow again. "I'm sorry I was on your mum's side before, I just missed having one."

"No, it's not like that, I already forgave you, I never want you to suffer. I'm trying to teach you _something. Do it yourself."_

"What?... Oh, you mean _that_?" He grabs Wataru's hand and he resists so moves closer and tries to position his palm. "Come on nii-chan I really need it, you're not helping."

"Do it by yourself." He repeats.

"Eeeeeehh, how?"

"Like I showed you." He replaces his hand and assists with two strokes.

"Oh, nii-chan, don't stop I can't take it~!"

"Keep going, you'll see." So he does.

"Aaaaaaaaah~ Nnnnnnnnn~ Ooooooooh~ it's happening niiiiiii-chiiiyyyyaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn~!"

"See now you can do that when you're on your knees."

"Woah, that's really helpful! " He gets to his knees. "It never left this time, I'm doing 'it' again!"

"Ok good luck." Nippori gets back to business and this time wraps his whole mouth around the head and uses his free hand to add to the motion.

"Ahh! Keiji-kun that's it, this is the best my ochinchin has ever felt you're doing a great job!"

Nippori doesn't respond but lets go of Wataru's penis and convulses into a defensive turtle position as the sensations take over his body. He's having a multiple orgasm, not that he could possibly know that. "Yeeeeeeesss~ Yeeesss~ Niiiiiiii-chiiiiiiyyyyyyyaaaannn!~"

"That's your third one Keiji-kun you'll sleep well tonight."

"Don't talk to me for a second, I can still feel it," He quivers. "Wow, that one was scary-long and actually that was my sixth one today. I can't feel my ochinchin. Let me get your mum."

"No, it's just soft."

"It must have just fallen asleep before me."

"I don't find that hard to believe." He agrees.

"Oh, no it's back again, it must have just needed a break."

"Why don't you stop playing with it?... For about two minutes."

"Actually, that feels worse." Seeing Nippori's neediness and pleasure filled expressions is really a sight for sore eyes and it ignites his passions.

"Nii-chan something's wrong, I'm pulling and pulling but the feeling is not coming... Maybe I do need you, after all!"

"It will if you're patient, like I'm being."

"Oh I forgot about…" He resumes and suddenly feels an urge to feel Wataru's balls they're, dangly, plump and hairy way different to his, so, he reaches them, with his free hand, all while still moving his head. Then he squeezes.

"Arrrgh, Keiji-kun do that again that feels nice."

"Few I thought I hurt you at first." The praise inspires him and he increases his pace, he starts getting close as does Wataru.

"Ooooaoaoooaooaoooah~ Keiji-kun!I'm getting closer, how about you?"

"It's not as fast as normal, but nearly." He returns his hand to the base of Wataru's penis and moves both hands with increased speed, which he finds a bit tricky to coordinate.

"That's it Keiji-kun don't stop." Surprisingly, Nippori has to catch up with Wataru and has to put increased vigor into the movements of his southernmost hand. "Don't choke Keiji-Kun it's time!" They reach climax almost simultaneously and Nippori's moans are muffled by Wataru's penis as he ends up gargling his thick, fast flowing semen, which he promptly spits into the drain. Then suddenly, the lights go off.


	22. Chapter 22

**If you don't know what 'feels' are, prepare yourself because you are about to be educated...**

"Ah~ Nii-chan Koooowaaaaai*!" He screams as he starts clutching to Wataru for dear life. "What's wrong are you scared of the dark?" He nods. "You didn't tell me,"

 _That's too bad!... The power cut could last all night. I suppose I didn't know, because the last time he fell asleep here, he collapsed in the living room so he had no say in whether the lights were off or on..._ Nippori doesn't speak.

"Ok let's get you dry, hmm?" Wataru becomes more protective and caring. He assists Nippori, who is crippled with fear and gives up trying to put clothes on him in the dark. So, he settles for a towel wrapped just under his he dresses himself and leads him outside of the bathroom. Natsuko is pointing a torch at the door

"That was an awfully long shower I hope you weren't fighting in there, that room better not be a mess when I get to it."

"No, it's not mum and we weren't fighting."

"Then why is he holding his jaw and crying?"

"Those are two completely unrelated things. He's crying because he's afraid of the dark and his jaw hurts 'cos... Well, he fell over before..." (Not a lie.) "… And he was on the floor

when he hurt it," (Not a lie either)

"Oh, you poor thing, come to Okaasan." He let's go of Wataru's hand and raises his arms to hug Natsuko. In the process, his towel falls off. As expected of Wataru's handy work. Once again Natsuko observes a no reaction face when confronted by yet another embarrassing incident. She hugs him back as if nothing happened. He starts to shiver in her arms "Where are his clothes." Wataru hands them over.

"Here, take this and shine it over here." He does as she says. She can see his tears still haven't stopped as she dries them with the sleeve of her kimono. She effortlessly slides the shirt over his head, as he his surprisingly more compliant, than child-Wataru, even when paralysed with fear. She places his hands on her shoulders for balance as she bends down to lift his legs to put on his underwear.

 _Yikes, I didn't think he was this underdeveloped there must be like a teaspoon of testosterone in that whole body put together..._ She continues to maintain a poker face.

"So mum, what do you think is up with the electricity?" She stands up.

"I already know, I called the electrician using my mobile as soon as the lights went off and they say there was a power surge caused by the overuse of an appliance so they're sending someone to fix it in the morning. Any guesses which appliance?" Wataru thinks for a few seconds, then shrugs his shoulders. "The electric boiler." She sighs as she flicks his forehead and reclaims the torch. "You spent so much time in the shower, the boiler couldn't cope. Here take this." She hands the torch to Nippori, who protectively clutches the only source of light in the house. Then he speaks for the first time since the lights went off, now that he has a source of comfort. "Thank you Okaasan, I f...f...f...feel s...s...s...safer when I'm with you." She pulls his cheek to her chest and embraces him. Had this been any other mother and friend-of-son pairing it would have definitely have been seen as deceit, for perverted teenage boy purposes. However, the dynamic between the two just allows them to perfectly fill each other's gaps, his longing for a mother and hers for a second child. And no one in the room could deny that they made each other complete in their own personal way. This is not, however, what Wataru had in mind when Nippori first clung to him in the shower. He expected Nippori to want to curl up with him, but he knew he needed a mother figure now, since he'd been made aware. So why was it so hard to share? The two people he loved the most found comfort in each other. It hurt, but this was his chance to finally put selflessness into practice without Nippori preventing it in his own thoughtful way.

"I can't s...s...s...sleep it the dark, I'm scared…"

"I can't make the darkness go away, but if there's a reason behind it, I'd like to see if I can help."

"I went on a school trip to an ex p...p...p...prisoner of war c...c...c...camp and they had a pitch black room with loud n...n...n...noises and flashing lights… It was the first time I felt scared and had no one to turn to. I felt lost and alone… It felt like I really _was_ in and air raid, If I'm ever in the dark I imagine things because I can't see what's really there..."

If Natsuko could physically spontaneously produce breast milk** right then and there she would have and the first order of business would have been to wet nurse Nippori. She can't protect him from darkness just like she couldn't prevent her first son from being a yankee. He's like the baby she yearns for and if he shows any more distress, she can't prevent from happening she'll lose her mind.

"Ssshhh, ssshhhh don't worry you can stay in ***Okaasan's bed tonight." That hits Wataru like a sucker punch to the kidneys, now he's really being left out. He can't hold back his emotions so bids them both goodnight and goes to sleep and alone in his bed.

 _I was tired anyway..._ He kids himself. What he really wanted to do was kiss Nippori goodnight and tell him not to leave without saying 'bye' in the morning, but his Instinctive emotions caused by being separated are welling up too much for him to be able to control for much longer, so he has no choice but to excuse himself.

Meanwhile, Natsuko sits up, resting her back while she sings lullabies, pats his back and gently rocks him while his legs resting on the other side of the bed. He still clutches the torch, but has stopped sobbing although a few tears still stream out silently.

 _I wish I could do something about how light he is. He is obviously not eating properly, judging by the time I carried him he probably weighs about as much as me. I should make an obentou, it's been so long since Wataru accepted one from me..._ She looks down to ask what time he has to wake up for work, but notices that he has already started to nod off.

 _I'm remembering, if only I never took it for granted before... This is what it's like to have a mother! I feel so safe._

"I wish I had a mother every day not just on weekends…" He is talking in his sleep now and that thought seems to have drifted out, not that he's conscious enough to be aware. Natsuko is touched and plants a kiss on his forehead. Then rests his head on the pillow switches of the torch and drifts off into blissful sleep for several hours.

"Okaasan, toire****."

"You're a big boy. You've got your torch, be brave." She whispers in a gentle tone that would make Wataru feel ill.

"No. I need you..."

 _When was the last time Wataru 'need'ed me?_

"I can't see."

 _Oops, I switched off the torch, it's on the bedside table._ He starts to cry into Natsuko's shoulder. "It's my fault, Okaasan turned of the torch." She quietly leads him to the toilet, arms linked and sits him on the toilet he pees and she washes his hands then takes him back to bed. He falls straight to sleep this time, because he is physically and emotionally exhausted.

 _I've fed him, clothed him and taken him to the toilet. I've definitely seen and done enough stuff to really be his mother…._

Authors note

*Kowai→scary

In laws are still parents, right.? (I'm doing attachment it Psychology AS and it might have influenced this. **Also having a substitute doing the things mothers do like in ' _The last emperor_ ', which I saw recently.)

***Parents co-sleep in Japan, even up to middle school age. Either with the children in between two parents or the dad it the other room. So this is totally normal.

****Toire→ Can you take me to the toilet please?

I'm scared of the dark, shhh I didn't tell you that. P.S I won't cry because of it though. However the last time all the power went in our house was November and although the plumber (It was caused by a leak) was due before I went to sleep, I got in bed with my mum and we told stories, although I'll be seventeen in June. That was the main inspiration you're never too old to be sacred or get in your mum's bed. P.P.S my WiFi is powered by the mains, which may explain some other things...


	23. Chapter 23

"Wataru, wake up."

"Five more minutes mum."

"Nippori-chan wants to say goodbye."

"Don't call him 'chan' he's not a kid, 'kun' is fine." He yawns.

Wataru cracks open an eye. He takes in the sight before him, though his vision is fuzzy because of the sleep. He jumps out of bed comedically fast, then trips because his body's not quite awake yet. "How could you be so rude to your precious mother?" He is less outraged, more confused. "Don't listen to him Okaasan. You really helped me fall asleep. He doesn't know how lucky he is. Thank you." He bows and Natsuko leaves. Then he helps Wataru up. "Are you ok nii-chan?"

 _He read my mind and came to say goodbye! I wish it wasn't so early, though. I kinda feel robbed since he didn't stay in bed with me... I hope he can stay at least twenty more minutes._ Wataru starts to speak and looks in Nippori's eyes. Then pauses. "What's up with your hair?" Nippori pulls him up off the ground with both hands. "You look adorable~!" Dry Nippori's hair flows in jet black wavy locks. Wataru plants lots of little kisses on Nippori's face and slowly furrowing brow.

"I forgot my hair gel. It's too bad people always confuse my gender from behind when my hair is down, maybe I should just cut my hair." He once again tries to establish his masculinity. He does not give in to Wataru's flirting. "Don't you dare, length of hair doesn't define you. I'd lend you mine but you look so cute, it's driving my ochinchin wild. I just wanna run my hands through your hair."

"I don't have time to do my hair now, I only came to say 'bye'," Nippori's 'Mode of the minute' is 'be punctual' although it's making him seem moody and distant.

"Wait let me say goodbye properly first." He reaches down. "Eeeehhhh? I missed you last. night, now I have to wait another week to have you all to myself?"

 _Why does that hair make him look so much sweeter? And he doesn't want to be with me?... Oh~ I want to squeeze his bum for some reason... I never noticed how round it was before._ Wataru seeks to fulfil his curiosity. He brings Nippori in for a hug and explores his tender cheeks for the first time.

"Nii-chan, I'm sorry I can't help you with your problem, but can you stop touching me there it seems like that's what every man wants to do when my hair is down... But they don't ask and instead of being soft like you they slap." He confesses.

"Who do they think they are? Touching my Keiji-kun!" He is in outrage. "I'll fight them all!" Wataru's possessive side comes out.

"Not on the street... Just customers at the host club when I wait tables, but my boss says 'they're off their heads' not to complain because they give me the best tips."

"You're not going there now are you? Take me with you!"

"Oh, nii-chan," He giggles, shaking his head in disbelief. "What kind of host club do you think is open at this time of morning on a Saturday? They'd lose so much money. I'm going to my Saturday job at the market." Wataru nods perceptively. "I only work from six to ten from Monday to Thursday and that one gives the best pay."

"But isn't that past your bedtime?" He changes from possessive to concerned.

"Yeah it is, but my boss makes me drink coffee, so I don't nod off. It has to be the worst drink I've ever tasted, but the sugar and cream help… A bit."

"They say coffee stunts your growth..."

"Don't joke about with that!"

"Anyway...That's a lot of hours! How much money does your family need?"

"Actually, it's more than just living expenses,"I also pay for my tiny sister's ballet and tap and my little sister's flute lessons."

"Isn't that a bit luxurious?"

"I want them to have a normal lives of at least as normal as you can get without my mum there. I want them to have fair opportunities and not worry about money. If they have talent, I want them to have the same chances as all the other girls regardless of their backgrounds. before I could work, my dad ran up quite a debt, since he was used to two wages and needed child care for the youngest ones. I have to work, or they'll take our house." He frowns, reflecting the emotions associated with the memory. Wataru takes both of his hands supportively.

"I love you don't forget that," He struggles to comprehend that Nippori goes through so much in a week and still smiles. He gives him an empathetic hug. A single tear creeps out from Nippori's eye.

"I love you too, nii-chan!"

"Tell them, I'll come after them if they touch you again." Forgetting his internal struggle for dominance, he departs from Wataru's arms and recently tidied bedroom. He thanks Natsuko again and leaves.

"Oi, Wataru." Natsuko bursts in.

"Let me sleep." He groans.

"I didn't mention this earlier, but your room's clean again, so it _was_ Nippori? He's supposed to be able to come here and relax!"

"He can't relax unless it's tidy."

"Well then, you keep it tidy."

"Aww, mum that's just not my style."

"I was friends with his mother, before she died and her habits were the same. It's the only solution. She was the most popular senpai in the school, two years above me, but never discriminated against anyone…" She reflects on her days as an adolescent, which were short lived. "I'm glad you two are so close. I feel like I owe it to her, to be there for him. I know she would have been there for you. Though, we drifted apart, after I had you… Don't take him for granted. You know he doesn't need any more work right?"

"Trust me, I know."

 _Just hearing about the things he does in a week exhausts me._

"Good you can start by making your bed when you get up."

 _Nippori is definitely a good influence!... The more time the spend together the better. Finally, I've got a means of manipulating him into doing work._

"Yes, sir." He complies.


	24. Chapter 24

It's Monday morning and Nippori meets Mizusawa at the school gates once again.

"How was your weekend?"

"It was... so so."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, I had a plan, to top Kiyama for the first time..." He confides.

"How did it go?" He's curious to work out how flexible the bottom and top positions can be.

"He refused on Friday night." Nippori is in shock. He starts to lose hope quite rapidly. "Then, at my house on Saturday he agreed."

"Few I'm glad, I was worried for second, when you said that."

"It wasn't that good, though, he was like a Maguro on'na... I get the sense that he didn't really enjoy it."

 _How disappointing..._

"Eeeehhh?"

"Maguro on'na means, woman who lies still in bed."

"Why would he be like a woman?"

"Ok, Pokei-chan, it's been a long time coming, but do you know how you have two parents and one's a boy and one's a girl?"

"Yep, what's so special about that? Wataru has a mum and dad too. Although we're both missing one." He looks at the ground miserably, considering his new realisation, still unable to hide his emotions from his expression.

"Well that's right and they loved each other the same way you love Wataru."

"Hmm…" He ponders for a moment "Well each their own. Whatever floats your boat. Personally, I don't see the appeal, but if it makes you happy good for you."

"I wish everyone was as accepting as you."

"What? Don't tell me there are people that discriminate against girls that like boys!"

"Actually no, people discriminate against us... And the lesbians." He adds.

"Wait! What are we what are lesbians?... And what do you call boys that like girls?"

"A boy and a boy is gay; girl and girl is lesbian; girl and boy is straight, plus you can like both which is bi there are others but they're way less common." Nippori looks confused as he tries to comprehend the new concept and gives up.

"Whatever, I don't see what society can possibly benefit from all these labels. Why don't we just do what makes us happy? We're all equal."

"Tell that to Kiyama's parents." He blurts out.

"His parents? Well, it's hard to disobey parents... So I can imagine that has something to do with Saturday night."

"Wow! Pokei-chan! You're so much smarter than you look!"

 _I can't believe I didn't see it before._

"So how was your weekend?"

"Well, aniki's face was perfect -when I did the 'thing' and he taught me something amazing- but I can't say the weekend was."

"Now I have so many questions, I might even be able to forget my problems! What messed up the weekend?"

"There was a power cut and I didn't stay in aniki's room."

"Why where did you go?"

"Mrs Azuma's bed."

 _So she was a cougar all along… Maybe if I was single… I need to stop being so disloyal with my thoughts... My urges are getting out of hand. I love Kiyama!... Forget the sex._

"What? How is that appropriate?"

"Eeeeeeehh?"

"You can't just get into bed with a fully grown woman who's not your family what did I tell you about being straight."

"But she _is_ my family she's my O… She's aniki's mum, that is family." He confirms. "She really helped me to get to sleep, because I'm scared of the dark. All I know is that she makes me feel safe... Like being taken back to a simpler time." He sheds a tear. Feeling ridiculed by Mizusawa, once again. "You wouldn't understand." Wiping his face, he walks away from Mizusawa, and stares at the sky, imagining what it would be like to be one of the clouds, only coming and going, never gaining or losing.

"I'm so sorry Pokei-chan, that's what you call a platonic relationship..."

 _Get a grip, myself! I can't let theses treacherous thoughts get the better of me..._

"...And there's nothing wrong with it. I know how much you can't stand stereotypes... Sometimes people jump to conclusions."

 _I should have known better... It's because of other people doing that, that I lost my best friend Haruhi..._

"I made a mistake, I forgot you lost your birth mother. Now, I realise how much you must miss her. Mrs Azuma is probably like a mother to you. Can you forgive me?"

 _What is wrong with me? I need to stop imagining these scenarios, I'm getting paranoid._

"Of course I will."

"I'm still really sorry, though. I know Mrs Azuma is an amazing woman, who had her work cut out, with Wataru." Chuckle. "She'll probably just project her residual motherly love on you then."

"Exactly and I know aniki respects her and everything, but he doesn't appreciate her nearly as much as he should... She makes me feel so welcome and treated me like her own son from day one. I owe her so much especially with this weekend…" He dries his face and turns to Mizusawa, smiling. "That's why I'd do anything to make her happy. Just like with my mum, I've always known that by being there in her place, to take care of the family would make her happy."

"That is so sweet of you! She definitely did a great job raising you. She is so totally proud, you know? Your mum is obviously smiling down on you, right now and I'm sure she'd give her blessing for Mrs Azuma to be your other-mother."

"Do you think so?" Mizusawa nods "I'm going to be the best son I can be. For both of them, I feel like the two are connected somehow. On Friday, I felt like I was home, even though I wasn't." He notes, thinking aloud.

"I get you, it's because mothers are supposed to give you that security."

"You just taught me another lesson Mizusawa-sensei. I'm beginning to see how protective mothers can be and I like it, even if it's just sometimes." He is appreciative of the little bit of attention he receives.

"Not just mothers, all women. Like your sister."

"Her?"

"Yep, 'her' didn't you see that look in her eye? It was a definite murderous glare."

"I wonder what you did to deserve that, she only gives people that look when she brings chocolate or something else sweet home, because she can't stand to share. Well, it would probably all be gone if she tried."

 _Sweet? Like you? I can see why someone wouldn't want to share you..._

"I think she was protecting you."

"What could you have possibly have done to hurt me?"

 _Broken your heart..._

"Let's just say she's been reading too much boys love manga."

"Ok, we really got off track on the weekend topic. I'll catch up with you later." They once again enter the school gate and go their separate ways.


	25. Chapter 25

Yuta insists they all sit together for tumbling purposes and Nippori is frantically writing. (Mode of the minute is 'be successful')

"Oi, Nippori what are you writing?" Ryosuke curiously asks peering over Nippori's shoulder. "Woah your handwriting is so neat, it makes me sick."

"It's just some extra curricular stuff, you know."

"No, I don't know. Why would anybody want to work?... Without it being compulsory."

"I've never really thought about it like that, I just have these ambitions, you see?"

"Like what?"

"Uni,"

"I didn't know you thought that far ahead to the future."

"Well, you need extracurricular activities to stand out from the crowd."

"Can you pay attention to the meeting, please?" Yuta interrupts.

"Sorry."

"It's not your fault Ryosuke started it and you're in reserve so you can finish your work"

"Thanks, that's really helpful."

The bell goes.

"Let me walk you too your lesson."

"But you'll be late aniki!"

"It's English, I'll never pass, there's a test on Friday and my teacher keeps expecting me to do work, at home!"

He can forget that.

"Then I'll tutor you!... That can go on my personal statement~" He adds in a singsong voice, that conveys his happiness.

"I only know: 'hello', 'goodbye', 'thank you' and up to 'C' in the alphabet. It's no use."

"You use a QWERTY keyboard."

"So it's not written in the same nonsense order."

"It's not nonsense, once you get it, it's obvious."

"Who even came up with it?"

"I don't know and it doesn't matter, you just have to learn it."

"Ok, I'll try."

" P... "

"'Elemenohpee'?... When I hear them, how am I supposed to know what they look like?"

"Good question, I'll teach you."

"It's hopeless."

"I'll never give up on you, come to my house every day 'till Thursday. But you'll have to leave by five thirty, because of work. Plus I can do lunch times, but not tomorrow. "

"I'll do anything, if it lets me spend time with you."

"Good and I'll make sure that you learn."

"Wait a minute, if you're helping me what about your work?"

"Actually, I'm already a month ahead on notes, so when the teacher tells us about something in lesson, I already know it. I'm not the best, but at least I don't fail," Nippori really does have a brain between his ears and perhaps in another, less demanding life, he could be an A* candidate.

"I would say, I was jealous of how organised you are, but I could never put that much effort into school. That would suck about the life force out of me... I actually don't have the stamina to sit at a desk and write."

"That's fine because I'll teach you."

"I'm looking forward to it already I'll come to yours at about four."

"The study session overlaps when we have tea, but I'll give you something nice."

"I never thought I'd say this about studying, but I can't wait."

"I'll see you then."


	26. Chapter 26

Mizusawa meets Nippori at the gates again. "Where were we?" He starts.

"Let me think... Erm… We were talking about my sister's taste in manga."

"Yeah you're right, that jogged my memory... She was defending you from me, because of her imagination. But all that started with your time with Wataru didn't it?"

 _Isn't it just twisted, how I always ask for an account of every detail?_

"Well, we saw each other naked for the first time, I tried to the thing and failed. We ended up hugging for a long time and aniki's seeds went all over my belly. So we needed a shower but it was dinner time and then I _had_ to see 'One piece', but I could barely keep my eyes open and I fell asleep. Aniki tried to carry me, but I woke up so we did have a shower. It was the longest shower of my life, but I wouldn't have changed it."

"I don't get it, what could have possibly gone wrong with this weekend? You did the 'thing', right?"

"Yeah, It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and I learnt that 'thing', that you do with your own hand and... Let's just say we were exhausted."

"That sounds good, but then there was a power cut right?"

"Yeah, that was the worst part…"

 _One of the worst parts... I really need to change my look…_

"You know, I was thinking about this morning's conversation and now everything makes sense."

"What does?"

"Well…" He hesitates. "Whenever my hair's down… Which isn't that often…" He adds nervously. "All the ossan*s at the host club slap my bum and call me nee-chan... Obviously, I realised there was something to do with the fact that they were 'off their heads', like my boss said, that they confused my gender. But now… I know men like women I feel kind of... Humiliated… And used."

"That's not ok! You shouldn't accept that behaviour." As disgusted as he is, the main source of his rage is the concern he has for his friend.

"I know that now, but they ignore me when it's up... So maybe, I should just cut it..." He feels glad now that he has found a solution before remembering something else. "...And when I woke aniki up in the morning… He was so... Weird, with me. He fell on the floor as soon as he saw me..." Nippori interprets the events his own way. "...Since I forgot my hair gel. And when he came to say goodbye to me... It was like he couldn't get enough of squeezing my bum cheeks." Nippori reflects.

 _As expected of a top, not that I wouldn't like to fill my palms with those soft mounds... I'm going off on one! I need to stop._

"Wait, Pokei-chan that's even more of an excuse to keep it."

"No, no, I've had enough of being mistaken for a girl."

"I thought you didn't like stereotypes, girls have short hair sometimes"

 _How could I forget that? My hair's longer than Hinako's!_

"You just have to accept the fact that you're feminine looking." He raises a suggestive eyebrow.

"And the same to you about stereotypes. You don't have to be manly to be a top." He retorts. "Yeah but..." He tries and fails to think of a reasonable excuse. "I can't even argue with that. It's like, whose side am I on anyway? So what I get it is that Wataru's really into your hair and if that's the case. I'm sure you could take it a step further."

 _Oh my imagination is so wild today! I really need to get it under control._

"How?"

"You could wear make up."

"What!? No!... Never. It's not for me."

"Why?"

"I don't know... It's just like... I've always had this resolve to never change myself. You know… And you see those people that wear so much... It's not even, their face anymore, or even a human face..." He blurts that out and tries to take it back.

 _Oops, that's a bit mean..._

"...Because it's more like a cartoon face…"

 _How can I justify that?... I can't take confrontational conversations..._

"...Since it was hand drawn."

 _That was a rubbish argument! I need evidence and what I just said was weak and subjective... We should just change the subject. I can't see any appeal in make up…_

"You've got to admit it works wonders for some people and gives them confidence."

 _He's good… Maybe I should just agree with him?_

"Well I'm happy for them, but looks aren't everything."

 _No! I can't just give in that easily, he has to convince me, that's a debate... I should just be honest about my feelings._

"I'm fine for it to exist but, I wish the standards weren't so high that they can't be met, so we have to use artificial means and cosmetics... I'm just thinking of my sisters, I don't want them to be self-conscious. I get it otherwise, though. It's fine to use colours to express yourself, but not to camouflage your individual blemishes for the purpose of fitting into a crowd of people that not only look the same but think and act the same. Not because they _want_ to but because it's 'the standard'."

 _I found my argument, It's against mindless conformity, not the make up itself._

"Wow, you're really passionate about this."

"Not particularly, I'm opinionated, but more, indifferent. I wouldn't have had so much to say if I wasn't planning for my debate this lunch. I still don't know which side I'm on." He wrote down his Ideas yesterday lunch and went over them in the evening.

"I think it's great when people wear it to be different, like Miyavi but not when they think they're not good enough without it."

 _The best argument makes points for both sides and then the decision of what is right should be obvious. But this time, it's not..._

"So you could wear some?"

 _Oh, I'm such a perv. I only wanted to see him in it for my own sake. I didn't think it'd get so deep... But it can't hurt to see some results._

"Why not try it?"

"I don't want to set a bad example for my sisters."

"I'm not saying wear it as a fashion statement, just try a bit to see how Wataru reacts. Like, the bare minimum."

 _He is such a pushover… Only a little bit further to go!_

"How much would you accept your younger sister wear?."

"As a precaution, to prevent insecurity from developing due to feelings of inadequacy, the maximum would be eye liner and lip gloss. I suppose they're ok because they don't take away from natural beauty. I'm not in charge of them or anything but I feel like they're too young... To go, much further... I'm a male and look what happened to me without make up. I worry about them, you know. I doubt they'd have much interest in it, though. My sisters are special!" He considers how lucky he is.

"I'm glad you said that because I think eye liner would suit you so well. You would be so adorable!"

 _Eye liner would probably make me look quite dark and sinister. He can forget me looking adorable, that's not part of my image._

"I don't know." Nippori looks towards the ground, evaluating his conflicting feelings.

"It won't hurt to try it, maybe you'll like it. I borrow for my mum all the time her and my older sister used to paint my nails blue** when I was younger too." Nippori raises his eyebrows in shock. The High School is very close now. "It doesn't mean anything I thought you didn't agree with stereotypes. At the very least about one percent of the male population wears make up so you, won't be conforming. Here." Nippori reaches out to grab the seemingly ordinary black pencil.

"You should join the debating society because you really know how to argue."

 _More like think with my dick…_ And they part ways once again.

Author's note

*Ossan→ Middle aged man.

Remember the fact that Nippori is impressionable so he can quite easily be persuaded to do things, despite his initial stubbornness.

I've never actually had a debate about something like make up, it's usually more politically relevant but we are expected to make arguments about such things in French AS level.

**Blue for Jude


	27. Chapter 27

Nippori uses his gut instinct to defend his younger sisters and succeeds in his first ever speaking debate. Over the course of the rest of the week, he spends more and more time with his aniki in preparation for the English exam. They study in the living room four to half five, meaning that Imouto-san has no suspicions. On Thursday evening, Wataru tries to change the subject. Nippori's mode of the minute is to be successful, as it has been for the _past week._ "Oi, Keiji-kun..."

"Your exam is first thing tomorrow morning, this is the last chance the cram."

"I know... I was just wondering..." Nippori's dedication to being good teacher affects his ego as a senpai and makes him more nervous.

"I know you're bored but this is the last stretch." He insists, assuming Wataru's intentions. "You can have a five minute break to tell me what's on your mind," He is a ruthless, yet compassionate teacher.

"That's great because I wanted to know if you were coming to mine on Friday night."

"No, I didn't like last weekend." Wataru struggles to imagine the reason.

 _Is it because that sticky stuff went in his mouth? Maybe because his jaw hurt, it did take a while… Oh no, I never even really helped him the whole time! After what he did for me… Is he mad?_

"Is it because of the power cut?" He asks, hoping it's not his fault.

"Actually, I didn't like it because I had to leave early," Wataru sighs a breath of relief. "Why don't you meet me at the market? At three, on Saturday." Regaining his confidence, Wataru blurts out. "Yoshi!* It's a date!"

 _Uwaaaa~ A date? No way! A date? It can't be!... I wanted to ask him on one… When I was ready!… Does that mean he's ready? I didn't think he knew about sleeping together... He must want to top…_

"What do you mean by date?" He blushes.

"I don't know... I heard it on a drama, once, but I wasn't paying attention... So who knows what it means it's just, like, one of the things you say when someone wants to take you somewhere, right?"

 _Few!... He didn't know, I was kinda up for it for a second, but... It'd hurt so much! My mouth hurt last Friday and it's way bigger than my bumhole... I definitely wouldn't be able to cope with that, yesterday was the first time I had no tears with the butt plug. Mizusawa was pleased when I told him, but the look on his face let me know, I'm still not ready… But it's not as if I couldn't have guessed that. Aniki's so big. It hurts just thinking about it._

"Great this will be our first date, I can't wait!" He beams enthusiastically. Then he remembers his role and his face suddenly changes. "Now back to work."

 _Wow, Nippori's so smart… I like that and he can be commanding sometimes... At least when it matters… That's nice..._

Wataru's score is thirty-three out of one hundred and it's his best grade yet. Besides, maths which is the only thing he has a knack for. And so, yet another weekend rolls around... It's been a long week and now it's Friday night. Nippori takes a shower that evening. Imouto-san uses this as an opportunity to do some detective work. She spots something that doesn't quite belong. Then Nippori enters, white towel up to his armpits. "Keiji why do you have eyeliner? That's already been used?" She gets straight to the point.

"Oh that? I've never worn it, I don't know how… Mizusawa-sen...pai gave it to me."

"Him again?"

"Yeah, he said it would make me look... 'Adorable', but I'd rather he said something more like handsome."

 _Ugh, that guy is right, but such a hentai!_

"You don't like him, do you?"

"Well, of course I do. Why?"

"Like in that film?" He remembers back to the events of the film and can't help but stifle a chuckle.

"I can't say I do. Why?"

"Just checking, let me put that black stuff on you. I'll sharpen it first, you don't know who used it last."

"I just had a shower." He pleads.

"Can you just be my big sister for a minute?" She implores, fluttering eyelashes to heighten the manipulation.

"Don't tell me, you think I look like a girl too?"

"No, you don't look girly enough! I'm gonna give you a makeover. And your name's Kaori... Starting from now." She demands. She sits him down at his desk.

"Fine but only because I owe you for all time I've spent away from home. Not because I'm going to enjoy this. And no dresses, I'm not an okama**." He protests "Ok, Kaori-chan, whatever you say... let's talk about boys." She begins her interrogation.

"Boys? What do you know about boys?" He quizzes, fearfully curious.

"Let's just say, I don't know anything you don't."

"Please no, that's a joke, right?" He considers the things he does know and hopes she doesn't. "Because... I know everything... At least I think I do." She starts to comb his hair, using the one she finds on his desk. "Itai yo!***"

"Onee-chan you're so sensitive. How much do think you know?"

"More than you." At least that's his most ambitious guess.

"Is that right?"

"At least I _hope_ I know more than you." _Yeah right, what could he possibly know? After that reaction to the drama?... Ha!_ She starts to part his hair and then she notices something.

"Hair never grows on your face, does it Kaori-chan? Your skin is so smooth I want mine to be like that when I'm your age!" She projects her insecurities into her compliments, unconsciously. "You've never had spot have you?" Nippori looks confused. "It doesn't matter I hope I inherit that, but not your flat chest." She teases by pulling the towel. He reacts by folding his arms. "You always cover your nipples, even though there's nothing there, such a modest girl… I respect that. Why don't we try out a bra on you?"

"No... I'm f-f-fine thanks, I d-d-don't need one." He bashfully stammers in resistance. Nippori's Onee Kyara**** is really shy. "Please can I put some clothes on." He humbly requests. Nothing has changed physically, but be treated like a girl makes him insecure.

"Ok, but come to my room as soon as you put your boring pyjamas on, this isn't over yet." She teases him again, sticking out her tongue and pulling down her bottom left eyelid, revealing some pink. He jumps and his hands cover his eyes.

"Stop being so disturbing." He pleads.

"Stop being so squeamish." She retorts. Then Nippori gets a bit draughty for some reason but refuses to peek. Imouto-san bursts out laughing. Which makes Nippori curious. "What's so funny?" He looks down. "Not again! I need to remember not to lift my arms, with towel on!" He thinks out loud. Then he realises. "Oops, I'm so sorry you're not supposed to see 'that'."

"Don't break character!" She warns wiping a tear from her eye, but not actually being serious She chooses not to look down for her own sake.

"Sorry," He continues to be obedient to an absurd level, clutching his chest trying to get to the towel. She catches him struggling from the corner of her eye and with the distraction her eyes slip from the point of focus she had on the ceiling, she can't help but exclaim.

"Chi~sai~!*****" While she can't contain her laughter Nippori uses the opportunity to grab the towel and regain his modesty. He crouches in the corner fingering the carpet, peering over his knees. She still takes no notice of his behaviour.

 _I knew boys were slow, but this takes the biscuit... I'm so much more developed than him, even with our age gap..._ She regains her composure and looks up. _Yikes! He's so sensitive... I feel a bit guilty… Hmm How to rectify the situation?…_ She ponders.

"Don't worry, onee-chan, I forgot how you were 'different'... From when we shared baths… Why did we stop anyway?"

"Mum said ten was too old to share baths when she was pregnant and never told me why..."

"You still don't know why, do you?" He shakes his head, as she tentatively I approaches, with her attentive sounding voice.

 _Going in for pat on the back…_

"Don't touch me." Lightning strikes from the metaphorical storm cloud.

 _Wrong approach... Next is, trying to make light of the situation._ She coolly re-calculates her technique.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise how sensitive you were about your flat chest." No response. It's an improvement. "I'm so sorry onee-chan I wasn't laughing at you." She lies. "I was laughing with pride, for my own development and I didn't think of your feelings. Forgive me."

"Oh, I see, that's ok, of course I forgive you." It seems as though, he is well and truly fooled.

"You're the best sister, in the whole wide world! See you in five."

 _Yoshi!_ She reaches and grabs the air as if pulling the lever on a slot machine (except her fist is facing inwards) _He's so malleable, like putty in my hand._ As expected of Nippori, he turns up on time.

"Why do you spend so much time looking like a boy onee-chan? It's a waste, you should put more effort in, let me show you what you can look like with a change in hairstyle and couple of other bits." She is really persuasive and in no time the conversation is flowing smoothly and Nippori allows himself to be taken into the scenario.

Author's note

*Yoshi→Alright!/ Get in! / Great!

**Okama→ Both genders/ gender fluid/ (He learnt about this from Mister two(Bon Kurei-Bentham-), Emporio Ivankov and the rest from 'One piece'.

***Itai yo→ow, that hurts.

****Onee Kyara→ Female alter ego.

*****Chisai→small


	28. Chapter 28

**Here ends the super bonus week. I started it with a double so, I'll end it with a double.**

They are conveniently left alone in the room. Nippori's hair is much drier now and flows in it's natural wavy locks."Why don't I start by straightening your hair?" She gestures for him to sit in front of her dressing table. "How long is all this going to take?" He likes to finish all school work on Friday night, for peace of mind."Don't break character. You love all this," She declares. "Right Kaori?"

 _I think she's a bit too clumsy to trust with that, but I still want her to be happy._

"Ok, little sis, I like my hair as it is. If that's alright with you?" He's surprisingly, a natural at being a sister. "You can experiment as much as you like in other ways, though."

"It would have been really nice to see the full length of your hair, it's so much nicer than mine! But, ok we'll do what you want and I know what I'm going to give you will be so adorable!~ Face away from the mirror so that I can surprise you."

 _Oh, the possibilities are endless but I'll just go with something simple..._ She starts to comb his hair again.

"Please can you be more gentle with my hair?" He assumes the role now, beginning to use a more feminine form of I* plus being more polite and refraining from using slang words. With the intentions of satisfying his sister's need to experiment in hair and beauty practices.

"Ok I'm not that skilled but I'll try and you don't have very long hair but we'll see how far we can take it."

"Ok, do your best little sis!"

"I was thinking of using some accessories." She produces some bobbles and clips from her dresser drawer. She parts a fringe and pulls rest into a slightly skewed little ponytail, orientated on the right. She combs the fringe down into two strands on each side of his forehead and lines the left side of his head with a variety of tacky but adorable animal hair clips in several colours.

 _He looks so much like a Lolita! I'm so jealous! Why can't he appreciate his girly charm?_ Imouto-san is not unattractive by any means, just simply critical of her own looks, which is a shame because it happens a lot in society.

"You look just like an idol Kaori-chan!... You're so kawaaaaaaiiiiiiiii**~! I wish I had a face as pretty as yours!" She squeals.

"You'll grow into yours." He is determined to neither, lose the battle of masculinity nor affect his sister's confidence.

"Yeah but you've always been the cutest. Don't argue! You're my favourite sister and I'm so glad we're this close." That tugs at his heart strings and makes him regret his previous resistance to this treatment, for her sake. He sits quietly, accepting the situation and appreciating their bond. She completes the look with a red Alice band that has a bow on the right. "Ok, I've sorted your hair, this is the most stylish way I've ever seen it, if I do say so myself. But you could pull anything off! You have so many looks!... Are you ready for the reveal?"

"You flatter me too much little sis, of course I'm ready."

 _Am I really? She's got to be exaggerating, remember 'hair length doesn't define you' I'll look male no matter what._ He mentally prepares himself. She slowly turns the chair for dramatic effect. He blinks in disbelief. _Ok... That's freaky! If I didn't know better I'd say there were two girls in that reflection..._

"What kind of witchcraft is this!? That looks nothing like me!" He's astounded.

"Stop overreacting, that's your face get over it." She teases, as if she were being insulting.

"Well, you must be gifted with makeup! I'm sure if you got your hands on a dog you could make it look like an idol." He continues to delude himself.

"Stop being so modest! I haven't even put any makeup on you yet, that's your face."

"Are you kidding me?"

"See I told you to make more effort, imagine how amazing you'd look in a dress!" He starts to leave. "Well... There's no need for make up then."

"Not so fast, you sneaky little so and so." His plan, to exit on a high note is foiled.

"OK, how can I say no to my little sister. Just don't be tasteless." He advises.

"You don't need it but, I just have to see for myself."

"Ok, but I have my limits, no more than two products."

"Come on Kaori-chan, indulge your precious little sister. I only own two products myself and then there is _your_ eyeliner." He shakes his head, bashfully, eyes focused on the ground. She turns the tables on him now. "Either I experiment on you or experiment on myself, maybe I'll even complete with you to catch boys." She gives an ultimatum, not that she'd ever follow through with it. "But you'd probably beat me, right?" She teases still trying to figure out her older brother's sexuality.

"Men are weird…and sometimes creepy. You don't want them to chase after you."

"Do they chase you?"

"No, they just grab my bum a lot, without asking." He anxiously swings his legs." I just don't want that to happen to you." He refuses to make eye contact

"What perverts? Where are they?"

"I don't know if they're perverts, they are clients at the host club."

"That's exactly a pervert!" She's furious. "Not my darling onee-chan. You didn't even know what they were doing was wrong, did you?"

"Not until Mizusawa-senpai told me now, I feel all dirty." He cries.

 _Oops, it's my fault, I brought it up. If only it didn't pay such good money... I feel bad that he gets treated that way. I can't even bring myself to torture him anymore and it was just getting good..._

"It's ok I'm here, I'll hug you." The embrace each other, Nippori's tears, still flowing.

"Sorry for crying it's just that I don't like being used and when I get treated like that because of my looks I just imagine other people behaving like that with you and it scares me. I want to make the world a better place, for your sake."

 _And I the same with you, except that would just ruin the moment because you're my big brother. There's so much I need to teach you, for your own sake. Please don't do anything stupid without knowing what it is._ She feels so powerless to defend her brother.

"Ok, that's enough of the makeover, for you for your patience. Keiji."

He makes a miraculous recovery from being emotionally overwhelmed, though his face is still streaked with tears.

"Don't say that, we can still enjoy our sister time together. Forget everything I just said."

This reignites her spark to be wicked. "Oh, so you do enjoy a makeover every now and again, Kaori-chan?"

"It's more like I just enjoy being with you." He says this honestly, which makes Imouto-san feel guilty. "Ok, I wanted to try this all night. I'm just going to start with it before you change your mind." She brings the point of the freshly sharpened eyeliner pencil to his eye. He flinches and pulls away.

"Stop being such a scaredy cat, hold still." She forcibly demands, forgetting her guilt from earlier. Her hand shakes.

 _I've never done this before. But it can't be too hard, people put it on themselves in the toilet mirror at school._

"Ok I'll try, don't poke my eye out." He is really nervous to let his clumsy sister mess about with a sharp object near his eye. He feels light headed, yet determined to hang in there. "Just give me a minute to psych myself up can I lay here a second?" He nods off she takes this opportunity to apply the eyeliner, lip gloss and paint his nails with clear varnish then take a picture, set it as his screensaver and send it to Mizusawa. She's really proud of her masterpiece.

 _Somebody has to see it! At least he won't tell, he did give the eyeliner after all._ She convinces herself it's ok and signs off the text with「Imouto-san dokkiri***」. Then, she deletes the text from his phone to see how hilarity ensues.

Authors note

*Atashi not ore

**I feel like it's insulting to translate Kawaii but it means cute just in case.

***Dokkiri means prank.


	29. Chapter 29

Wataru meets Nippori at his Saturday job on the weekend. They go to the arcade and play Dance Dance Revolution. Nippori wins, not because he's particularly good but because Wataru finds it hard to have rhythm without a routine that he knows. After winning him a Horsea plush Wataru takes him to a value for money, family restaurant that he has a voucher for. They spend their time talking and the atmosphere is intoxicating, neither of them can keep a straight face. Every little thing makes them laugh, the chemistry is unreal. Nippori offers to split the bill. It was two for one so Wataru insists his meal is paid for. Both his pride and knowledge of Nippori's financial situation help to dictate his actions. For some reason, Wataru's character changes slightly and he becomes a gentleman. They get ice cream, which is once again, Wataru's treat _._

 _This is strange... I get that he likes to take care of me but this is familiar..._ He recognises the behaviour is similar to the top from the film, so he confronts him.

"Where did you learn to act like this?"

"What's wrong? I found out about dates properly last night... This is what the man's supposed to do..." He muses trying to make sense of Nippori's reaction. "I watched a drama with my mother…" He realises what he just admitted and tries to explain. "Just the first twenty minutes to get research for the date."

 _Oh no! I know that he was unsure on Thursday night, but now…_

"What happened?" He prefers to gain knowledge rather than jumping to conclusions. They take a seat on the bench overlooking the waterfront, ice cream in hand.

"Well, it was narrated by the girl..." He pauses, trying to get the story straight in his head.

 _Girl? So it was straight?… What makes me the girl!?... Forgetting what happened last night... I'm just as much of a man._

"And she had some kind of tick list in her head. Where he has to be really nice and pay for everything… And my mum was all like 'Take note that's what a real gentleman does, you have to be nice if you want to win someone's heart,' So I started to take note and she laughed at me and said 'Not literally just follow his example'. "

"So the drama had a boy and a girl?"

"Yeah… Weird, right…? Maybe they were just two friends on a date… Who knows?"

"No, boys can like girls the same way we like each other it's called straight."

 _Eeeeeehhhh? That Shigeo guy always did get on my nerves... No wonder he's so helpful!_

"Oh!... Now biology makes a tiny bit more sense, with all that courtship nonsense. I didn't think they loved each other, though, I thought it was just for offspring or whatever... I don't properly remember the work from last year."

 _That's what revision is for… But that's a topic for another day, let's stay on the subject._

"No, animals are different to people, you were right before, don't write about love in your Biology exam."

"That really does make sense now, though, I wanted to question it but the whole class seemed to understand so I just kept my mouth shut, like with meiosis and whatever it was about protein."

 _Though, that kind of does change my whole world view._

"If I wasn't worried about graduating I probably wouldn't have even turned up, it's not like I learn anything either way."

 _So, he just lets himself get used to not understanding!? I don't get the logic in that… Speaking of logic!_

"Ok, back the drama!... Why am I the girl?"

"I don't know... My mum said to follow the man's example, I thought that sounded about right, since I'm a man too. I didn't really think about it."

"But _I'm_ a man too." He retorts. Wataru can't help but grin. "I'm serious."

"You're not quite there yet."

"I'll show you!... Fight me!" He says it with so much conviction, Wataru can't help but burst out laughing. Nippori puts the rest of his ice cream in the bin and crouches with his back to Wataru, clutching his knees and tracing dramatically dark characters in the sand (Pain, sadness, death, dark, deceit, etc.) A stormy purplish cloud starts to form again. Wataru crunches the last of his cone and tries to approach as sensitively as he can.

"Don't touch me!" He warns. Wataru stays at a distance."I'm not a girl and I never will be."

"No, no, no, where did all this come from? It's not like that, we're both male."

"I'm glad you know that." He continues to sulk. "But we're equal. Why won't you fight me? I'm not that weak."

 _People need to stop deciding what I'm capable of, for me._

"Are you upset because I won't accept your fight challenge?" He nods.

 _How can I explain that I'm stronger, without calling him weak?_

"Let's Race!" He starts which spurs Nippori into motion. Unbeknownst to Wataru this is the battle to see who is the ' _girl'_. It's part of Nippori's internal struggle. He doesn't like the thought of having to fit into the tick box of a role just because that's what everyone assumes. Why should same sex relationships be modelled after straight relationships? Nippori sees his chance to avoid compromise and takes it. He is trying with all his effort, while Wataru behaves like rubber band-AI, sensitively matching his pace whilst being just out of reach. Unfortunately, Nippori trips and face-plants in the sand.


	30. Chapter 30

**Let's make it an extra long one since it's a multiple of ten, shall we?**

Unfortunately, Nippori trips and face plants in the sand. Which makes Wataru's eyes water, he slaps himself in an effort to suppress the laughter. "That couldn't have hurt much, get up on your own if you're a 'man'," He teases insensitively, meaning to be neither sexist nor hurtful.

 _That's it it's all over, I lose... I just got my hopes up for a second and all. What was I thinking? The odds were all against me, Mizusawa listed them and it's not like I've ever been able to prove him wrong._ He looks at Wataru with his tear streaked face and lays their defeatedly. Wataru feels guilty. He kneels beside him.

"Sorry, are you hurt really badly?"

 _Maybe, I will be hurt really badly, I don't know if 'that' will ever happen at this rate. At least he doesn't have to know until I'm ready... If I ever will be, It's my fault, as if_ _ **I**_ _could ever compete for top position._ The emotions linking to his defeat cause his tears to flow more freely. He doesn't cry hysterically, just as an uncontrollable response to coming to terms with these changes.

"No, it's not that, I've lost now I'm gonna have to fit into this role." He sighs almost ready to accept his fate, (others would say he was blessed with his combination of features, but then again, he's not like other people).

"No, we can take turns." Wataru insists, without knowing the implications. This causes Nippori's expression to change as his features brighten.

 _Wait, no I need to accept defeat._ He refuses to be a sore loser and is gracious in acceptance.

"I planned to take turns before, but when I saw the opportunity... I challenged you, I can't take it back now."

"No, I want to take turns, for your sake... You were so desperate to be the 'boy' before… We don't have to follow their example... We make our own rules! I get it... I'd be upset too if you just decided that by yourself. I'm sorry." That all makes sense to Nippori so he agrees.

"Ok! No more gender related labels they don't benefit anyone." He adds.

 _Thank goodness, he's so much more understanding than Mizusawa… I'm so lucky!_

Wataru holds out his hand which Nippori accepts, no longer having to consider avoiding being a damsel in distress as part of his internal struggle, because he had resolved his issues. Together, they were going to rewrite the rules (as far as they were concerned).

 _I feel silly now, how could I ever doubt Wataru? He'd do anything to make me happy. It's not the first time we've had a misunderstanding like this. As much as I want to do what's best for him, I need to recognise that he feels the same towards me._ Wataru effortlessly pulls Nippori to his feet, in one swift motion. Then reaches out and pats his head, rustling his hair. Nippori _swats his hand away._

"Stop patronising me." He teases.

"I'm not pat pat patrol...Whatever you just said there's sand in your hair."

"Oh no, look we're both filthy."

"Yeah, but you look worse than me. Why don't we go back to mine?"

"That sounds like a plan to me! I can't wait to get out of these dirty clothes." They walk home together.

"How did you get on at work?"

"I didn't really have any problems at work because my hair wasn't down but when I left your house, you know, when you were acting silly with me?"

"I remember."

"Well there was this guy, you just gave me that advice so I decided to put it into practice."

"What did you tell him?"

"I said that I had a Kareshii and if you knew what was going on, you'd beat him up."

"I'd do more than that."

"He said I should leave you."

"Yep, I'd definitely end his life." He cracks his knuckles menacingly.

"Calm down, you haven't heard the worst part. He told me he'd show me what a 'real man' was if I went with him."

"I don't even want to know what he meant by that! I know he'd have left you alone if you told him you were a married man… That is... If you want to!"

"I think that might work!... Eh? Nii-chan your face is red. Are you ill?"

"No, it's fine, that's what I meant..."

"Oh, good because you look a bit upset."

"Not particularly. I just want you to stay safe."

"Aw, look at you getting all worried _and_ caring~"

"So?"

"No, it's cute!"

"I'm cute, am I?"

"I'd normally say 'cute' was reserved for kids and animals but you're the exception... You can be when you speak from the heart! I'd say you were even a little bit soppy."

"Ok, now you're going too far."

"What're you gonna do about it?" He teases, slapping his bum for emphasis as he runs off. People on the street marvel at their kinship and cheer them on as they reflect on the lost days of their own youth. In the unpopulated backstreet, Wataru stops playing and catches up to Nippori.

"Oh, you got me!" Wataru pins him up against the wall and pyresses their bodies closer together, right arm extended, he leans on the wall behind Nippori and breathes down his neck. "Oh~ Nii-chan what are you gonna do to me!?"

"Nothing." He starts to walk away and Nippori stops him.

"Stop teasing me." Nippori kisses him.

"Eh?"

"There's no one around..." He resumes the kiss.

"Stop, you're not gonna..."

"It's too late."

"Let me take you home."

"I'm not ready for you to take me home." He intensely kisses him, once again. "Oh! Ow! Nii-chan, stop it hurts."

"Oh, then I'll _have_ to help you." He reaches down and to his surprise Nippori stops him.

"No, it's not that my mouth hurts."

"Eh? Is it something I did?" Nippori clutches his jaw.

"No, I don't think so, my gums hurt."

"Ok, it looks like you're getting your wisdom teeth. I've probably got some Bonjela left, from when I got mine."

"Ok, good let's go."

"It's gone?"

"Yeah, I must've got distracted let's get going."

They arrive at the Azuma residence. Natsuko is anticipating their return, when to her horror the turn up with sand on their clothes.

"Don't you dare take another step. That is unless you want to end up cleaning the entire house." She warms. "And if it's as bad as I think it is, in the restaurant Wataru, sweeping it will be your first chore on Sunday." She scolds.

"I don't mean to argue, but it's my fault Okaasan." He confesses " I should have thought before I came in the house. But don't worry I like cleaning." He fibs to protect Wataru from doing something that really drives him up the wall.

"No it's not your fault, he should have known better."

 _So this is how it feels to be an older sibling? Not that I mind accepting blame if it's for Nippori…_ He goes into his own world and fails to reply to his mother.

"...You should learn from Nippori-chan's example." She frowns and waves a hand before the vacant look in his eyes. "Oi Wataru, do you have a problem!?" He blinks and is back in the room.

"No, sir."

"That's what I like to hear, it better be sorted before opening time."

"Yes, sir."

"And I'll help."

"Ok, if that's what makes you happy." She agrees. "On another note _why_ are you two so mucky? Were you play fighting again?"

 _I can think of at least a dozen more places to fight at least, more sensible than a sandy beach!_ She remembers her days as a tomboy fondly, before gender got in the way of platonic friendships. _... But boys will be boys._

"Well I _did_ challenge him, but he wimped out and chose to race instead... I know I could have taken him!" Nippori confirms.

 _That was how it started... I suppose you can't close the physical gap in strength through will alone, it's down to nature... At least my boy knows how to spare his feelings graciously. I'm glad Nippori has a chance of catching up._

"I know you can beat him,"

 _You just need time to catch up._

"He's yet to beat me. You just need to know his weakness."

"Tell me Okaasan!" He pleads.

"If we discuss strategy in front of the opponent it won't work."

"Ok, I can wait."

"Oi! You two, don't chat about me in the third person as if I'm not here." Their strong bond excludes Wataru once again but this time, he'd rather make his presence known than mope about alone.

 _He's in a good mood, this time, I can't let mum steal him._

"Oops, I forgot, if you weren't fighting, why are you so dirty?"

"I tripped." Natsuko walks towards them for closer inspection.

"If you tripped why are you both dirty?"

"I helped him up."

"A fit young lad like him?"

"He was crying." That shifts Natsuko's attention. She gets a better look at Nippori.

"Oh no, are you alright? Did you get hurt? Do you need a plaster?"

"I'm fine Okaasan. Don't worry."

"Wait! Is that sand in your hair? Have you ever had sand in your hair before? It's a nightmare!"

"I wouldn't know, I've never been on holiday."

"I'll help him wash it out." Wataru readily volunteers, while trying to maintain a disinterested look.

 _Things are looking good, we can finally get some alone time..._

"It's not that simple, It could take weeks I'll have to have a look, after it's been washed..."

"That's fine by me."

"Cool, I've got homework." The other two stand there, completely gobsmacked, and when their eyes meet they fall about the floor laughing.

"What!? Yuta wanted me to find a new tune for the routine." They simultaneously wipe tears from their eyes and their expressions change, standing up and coming to their senses.

"Woah, you really had me going for a second there I really thought you were gonna do something academic! In your own time! Without being prompted!"

"Yeah what were we thinking, Okaasan? I was imagining that my week of teaching English influenced him to change his habits for the better." They share yet another moment, high fiving for their shared humour and agreement that Wataru needs to start doing work.

"Before you step up, let me get the wash basket for your clothes I don't want sand to get on the carpet." When she returns the two strip down to their underwear. Nippori's mode of the minute is to get clean.

"We might as well start now."

"Yeah, I feel really itchy, now I know how hard it is to get rid of sand, can I borrow your shampoo, please Okaasan?"

"What did I tell you? This is your second home, you're welcome to anything in this house."

"Thank you Okaasan." He hugs her again, in a thoughtlessly inappropriate state of undress once again. She marvels at his unashamedness. Why should innocent acts be sexualised? She kisses his forehead which delights Nippori. And the two boys head for the wet room.


	31. Chapter 31

"Let's have a bath tonight. I wanted to save time before, not that it helped... Since it's been so long, why don't we take our time even more? I'll scrub your back for you."

"And I'll do yours. I wish there was a way for me to scrub your back, while you do mine, I can't wait to get in the water!"

"Yeah, I'm the same accept more _excited_ ," He makes reference to his raging hard on, to no avail. They both sit on stools as Wataru soaps up and rinses Nippori's back with the shower head. He sorts out his own front side, then Wataru turns and Nippori turns, they follow the same pattern. When in the bath Nippori starts by submerging his head revealing his radiant long and flowing hair, which drives Wataru wild. He reaches down to relieve some tension when Nippori dries his eyes and sees.

"Let me help." He insists. "Oh! I just got 'that feeling' too." He leans down to place his lips on Wataru's member that protrudes from the water.

"Wait, let me do you too."

"How? You go first then me, If I go first who knows when it will stop coming back?"

"You've got a point but I've got an idea."

"Is this going to happen at the same time, somehow?"

"Exactly, you'll see."

"Wait, I think I get it."

"The way I picture it is, that you're going to have to get out for a second." He jumps out without any hesitation, his throbbing mass pulsating in anticipation. Wataru extends to the full length of the bath.

"Should I get on?"

 _This seems more logical on a bed but it's worth a try._

"The sooner the better." Nippori positions himself with his face lined up with Wataru's crutch his legs are bent to fit because the bath is surrounded by wall on three sides and they both start.

 _This is really, really uncomfortable, my back hurts. Of course I'd come up with a rubbish plan like this! I can tell he's enjoying it so, I'll keep_ _ **my mouth shut**_ _._

 _Woah, all the blood is rushing to my head. I feel a bit dizzy..._

Nippori continues with his usual enthusiasm and without any breaks he's quickly able to get Wataru right up to the edge. Well, it has been a while and he has a lot to take in, this is the most erotic imagery of his life. Nippori's perfect round cheeks within his reach, the taste of his little pricklet at his lips, the feel of his body writhing in ecstasy and the sound of his intermittent moans… He just has to stop and take it all in. Nippori starts to thrust his hips with urgency. Unfortunately for him, Wataru is too distracted by all the other input to his senses.

He nears his limit as his head lolls back. Nippori notices and adds to the stimulation _._

"Oooooaaaaooaooohhhhh~ Keiji-kun squeeze harder, you know I like that." And he does.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh~ Mmmmm~ Uwaaaaaa. You did it again, that was great and look you lasted longer than me for the first time… Oh no, that was because I forgot wasn't it? Sorry, I went off on one for a minute there, remind me not to neglect you." He wipes the contents of his mouth onto a nearby towel, before saying.

"No, I'll take that as a compliment, because it shows how much I've improved."

"You can always find the good it a situation, can't you? Don't move, let me make it up to you."

"Of course."

 _I'm kind of cold in this position and, kind of light headed but I can't argue with that. It won't take long, at least it doesn't usually._ Nippori relaxes and gets into the rhythm of Wataru's enthusiastic movements.

 _Yep, my back really hurts let's never do this again. I just have to keep going for now, it can't possibly take more than another minute._ Nippori's hips start to buck as he reaches his first climax of the evening.

"Kiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh~! Niiiiiiiiiiii-chiiiiiyyyyyyyyaaaaannnnnnnn~" It had been building up for a while and when the spasms take over his body the light headedness causes him to lose his balance and roll over onto the tiled floor, banging his head at the same time.

"Oh, my goodness are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine*, I've had worse."

"You're bleeding." He pats his head.

"So I am."

Author's note

*I've heard there is a pain-numbing effect caused by orgasm.


	32. Chapter 32

"How am I gonna explain this?"

"It's not your fault I fell I was feeling dizzy before."

 _We're definitely never doing that again, not if it hurts Nippori… I suppose it was quite a dangerous position._ Wataru hastily exits the bath, worried for the safety of his love.

"Can you put your clothes on? You might need to go to the hospital this looks bad."

"Don't be silly if there was really a problem I'd know it." Wataru is in a hurry and no longer concerned about taking the blame. He just wants the situation to be taken care of.

"Mum, can you come here a sec?" She takes her time, unaware of what she's about to find.

"What have you done this time?" She protectively glares at Wataru while once again taking Nippori into her bosom, releasing him after a quick squeeze. She tilts up his chin inspecting wound.

"You really are clumsy, aren't you?" He nods. "You've banged your head, does it hurt?"

"Not really."

"Well, aren't you being brave today?" She turns to Wataru. "I'm going to give him some first aid, I don't think we need to take him to hospital. As far as I can see it's only a scratch."

"Few, all that blood made me feel like he had a really bad injury."

"We can't know for sure yet, he could have a concussion, so it's best to keep him awake."

"That's a shame, I'm already tired. Why can't I go to sleep?"

"It's only 7 o'clock sweetheart." She mouths to Wataru "He might not wake up."

"It feels later." He thinks for a minute "It's probably because I had all that work earlier, Saturday is the busiest day. That's why they need me." He says it with a smile, but the other two are in shock. It's not like Nippori to complain, something is definitely up. Wataru scratches his head.

 _He's suddenly become more expressive... Maybe something's gone wrong! If it wasn't for the fee, I might be tempted to call an ambulance right now... Plus he still hasn't reacted to the injury. if he gets nauseous…_

"I'm a bit peckish..."

 _He is definitely never impatient._

"No problem dinner's already on the table."

 _He's already left the room. Where are his manners? I was expecting a 'thank you'... T_ he two look at each other and shrug. Noticing the subtle changes in Nippori's actions. Wataru is the first to speak

"Well, something's definitely wrong,"

"Yeah, this'll just be temporary."

"And when it sorts itself out at least we'll know he's recovered."

They eat their dinner and Nippori is more talkative than ever. He seems to have lost all of his inhibitions. He also seems to be oblivious to the fact that there is a dribble of congealed blood down the side of his face. They finish eating then Natsuko takes his hand and leads him into the kitchen. She sits him on the work surface. Nippori is a bit delirious and not quite over the head trauma. She carefully wipes around the wound and then cleans the rest. Next, she gently applies a Doraemon plaster over the underwhelmingly small cut on his forehead.

"I had to get really good at first aid when he was younger he was absolutely fearless he'd just jump from things, climb to ridiculous heights!... So reckless without any fear of the consequences. I believe some of it was 'parkour', though, it was mostly a lot of falling down. He's always been thoughtless and inconsiderate but he eventually learnt his lesson with doing dangerous things after his shoulder dislocated and he had to go to hospital. I _say_ he learnt his lesson with that sort of thing but he moved on to fighting, a bit like me in my younger days... I think he's found somewhere decent to put that energy."

For me it was chasing after that disobedient little tyke... I'm lucky he's lived this long, he never listened, running into roads, exploring water of unknown depth without concern for his inability to swim, climbing up trees!? If I had to cope with that sort of high energy 'play' at this age I wouldn't be able to keep up... It was enough of a task at that age when I was young enough to be considered a playmate to him…

"You weren't anything like that were you?"

"Not really, I never usually try anything dangerous. I only just started to try that sort of thing with nii-chan, but it's fun. I like trying new things. It's better than always worrying about what might happen like I normally do. I admire his daringness, I wish I wasn't scared of anything."

"Being careful is important, it's what keeps us safe. Other parents would give me funny looks when I let him run wild, but telling him what to do what wouldn't have done any good, he's stubborn like I was. If I'd have been something like my mother I would have made more effort to control him but that would only make him want to ignore me and do the opposite of what I say. I decided to let him do stupid things and learn his own lessons then he wouldn't do it again. I'm not sure it's worked out so far, though… ."

"You're not really built to deal with that roughness, you could have been much worse injured after hitting your head on the bathroom floor ...Sorry it's such a young character on the plaster, it's been awhile since Wataru came to me for first aid."

"No, it's fine, I still watch him with my younger siblings." Nippori's physiological state seems to have made his lips looser.

"Aww, you're such a nice big brother."

"Thanks, but I still find it funny." He giggles. "You're a really nice mother, you know? Thanks for taking care of me." He continues to speak very sincerely.

"You're welcome, but you're too kind, I could've done better."

"No, trust me, Wataru is amazing. I'm glad you made him, because I love him."

 _Oh! He's so honest, it melts my heart._ Natsuko is unaware of the romantic meaning behind Nippori's love for his senpai.

"I love him too. I probably wouldn't change him for the world either."

"I _really_ love nii-chan,"

 _He just said that, five seconds ago... How far gone is he?... Or maybe, it's just really on his mind... Perhaps, he just can't control which thoughts come out?_ She believes what he says, but imagines it to be suppressed feelings, elicited by the confusion.

"Good we both do, take care of him for me." She mock-warns giving him a sense of responsibility. "I don't want him getting it any more trouble." She really means it. Nippori scratches his head.

"Is the sand irritating you?" He cocks an eyebrow in confusion. "You mustn't have been able to get it all out in the bath. I thought so, let me do something with your hair."

"Oh yeah, it's still a bit damp, isn't it? I never dried it I was too distracted... With all the attention, I'm not used to it." He makes yet another honest confession.

She leads him by the hand to the living room, then takes a chair from the kitchen and sits on it. While instructing him to sit on the floor and cross his legs. He obeys, as his is custom. Natsuko had always wanted a daughter and takes advantage of the fact that Nippori listens to her, to do his hair...


	33. Chapter 33

**I'm noticing that people are actually reading so thanks, it's very encouraging. Today is the start of the summer holidays and you only get once a year so I think that just about calls for a ?Super Duper Bonus Week?. Starting with a triple, there will be a double every day for a week.**

"Maybe the sand is the sign, I should cut my hair." He thinks out loud. He is considering all the trouble it's caused.

"No, I like it this way. I'd miss this." Wataru used to let me do this when he was younger.

"Fine! I'm happy, if you're happy! Anything for Okaasan." He really means every word. She smiles and her approval makes him feel all warm inside. He enjoys being appreciated while he's there. She starts to get on with his hair, when his phone goes off. He takes it out and Natsuko looks at the screen.

"Is that your girlfriend? She's so pretty!"

"No, I don't like girls."

 _As I expected, he still hasn't gone through 'that' stage yet._

"My sister must have pranked me, while I was sleeping and changed the picture. It's so embarrassing." He blushes at the thought of having last night's activities exposed.

"Oh let me get the better look." She puts on her glasses. He doesn't resist, as she reaches out and takes his phone.

"Woah! Is that your sister? She looks just like your mother." She hands back the phone and resumes his hair meticulously parting and blowing away the sand. She's much gentler than Imouto-san, so he has no reason to complain. Which he would have done, with the absence of his ability to modify his thoughts before he speaks.

"You knew my mum?"

"Yeah, we were like sisters. She was my senpai, two years above. By far the kindest and most well liked girl in the school..." She reminisces. "I know if she knew Wataru, like I know you, she'd have looked after him for me. I'm so glad you two are friends."

"I knew you two were connected somehow." He remembers back to last weekend. "For some reason, when I'm with you it feels like home, even though I'm not home." He tells heartfelt truths that cause a single tear to make its journey down Natsuko's cheek. "I have never felt safer in all the six years since my mother died. I can't thank you enough. You -and your son- make my life complete." Coming to terms with how happy he is, he starts to emotionally cry, turning to Natsuko for comfort. "Thank you, I feel like my mother in Heaven has sent a guardian angel and when you smile at me it's like she's smiling down on me, even if I can see." He sobs into her lap and she rubs his back. His eyes close and it's only when she hears a gentle snore, that she realises he's asleep. She panics and shakes him awake.

"I'm tired Okaasan, what time is it now?"

"Half past eight."

"Oh good, I didn't think I could last much longer."

"Didn't you get a message on your phone?" She tries to change the subject, to avoid explaining the dangers of his injury and inciting unnecessary panic.

"I did, didn't I? We got distracted by that photo. I haven't looked at my phone all day so I was just as shocked as you."

 _Mizusawa-sensei?_

"It looks like Mizusawa-senpai is the one who sent me the message. I wonder what he wants."

"Mizusawa I've never heard of him, is he in Wataru's year?"

"Yeah, you've met him."

"Have I?"

"Everyone reacts like that, he's actually on the tumbling team."

"You never spoke before you joined, did you?"

"No, I didn't know he existed, It's a shame because he's actually quite nice."

"Most people are, once you get to know them."

"That's actually really good advice. No one in my year speaks to me outside of lessons because they think I'm a thug." His personal information is once again free flowing. "I don't know what I'll do when nii-chan graduates"

 _More like 'if', he's really got a lot of faith in others._

"Satoshi is nice but he's already got friends and I get the impression that they don't like me. I can't even consider Hino."

 _He's secretly been this troubled all along?_ She starts to plait the left part of his hair. She only does five. Not wanting to overdo it, but they are neat and stylish.

"I've finished." She gives him a hand mirror. He admires his appearance.

"Wow! Okaasan, that looks amazing! So cool, like Gackt!"

"Yeah, Gackt is handsome too!" He gives her another affectionate squeeze."What was that for? I'm only telling you the truth."

"You're the first person who's called me handsome!"

 _Though a lot of people compliment my looks…_ He frowns.

"I find that hard to believe."

"It's true, everyone just calls me 'cute'. But I'm not, I'm too old to be." His thoughts continue to be expressed verbally, inviting empathy from Natsuko.

"I don't know how I can help you to change other people's opinions about you."

 _I'd suggest football, but is it possible to be sexist to a boy using male stereotypes? Why am I even questioning that?...Hmmm, I suppose might be. Not all boys like sport and I especially know, not all girls like typical things._

"You'll always be handsome to me, if that helps."

"Of course it does. You must be the most thoughtful person that I speak you, for being sensitive to my feelings, I'm used to getting laughed at." He reveals more about himself. "Especially lately, it's as if no one takes me seriously. But I still try my best... And to them, it's not good enough. It just hurts to know that they think I'm a weakling." Natsuko can entirely sympathise with that as she once felt that way, after a certain point in her childhood. She couldn't keep up with her friends just like Nippori. Except for her, it was a 'dead end'. When she returns from her thoughts of how her appearance as a girl acted as a limitation for her Nippori is once again sobbing into her lap. She runs her fingers through his hair. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, actually I'm a lot better now I've got that off my chest. I'm so glad I have you." He looks up at her, tears and snot streaming down his face.

"Are you tired? It's nine o'clock now."She wipes his face with her sleeve.

"Wait you never told me the secret technique."

"Wataru's ticklish."She whispers.

"Me too but, I won't tell him."

"Good night."

"Goodnight Okaasan." She pokes her head into Wataru's room he has headphones on so she has to walk in."Oi, Wataru," He removes his headphones.

"What's up? Is Nippori ok?"

"He's fine, but he's being really honest right now. Try not to let him go to sleep for at least another two hours to be sure and next time he challenges you to a fight accept it."

"But mum I don't want to hurt him."

"Well that's tough, because you already did, he doesn't want people to think of him as weak. And don't patronise him because he's serious."

"As you say boss." He quips.

"Alright, good night."

"Good night mum."

Nippori is left alone in the living room when he realises he still hasn't read that message.


	34. Chapter 34

Nippori looks at his phone, which reads:

「 Whoa, that is one Etchi photo!｣

To which he replies.

「 What does Etchi mean?｣

「 It comes from the first letter of hentai.｣

「What's hentai?｣

「It basically means perverted.｣

「Ok, what photo are you talking about?｣

「 The one of you.｣

「Of me?｣

「Yes you. You wore my mother's eyeliner.｣

「Not me looking like a girl!｣

「 Yes, that.｣

「 How did you get it?｣

「 It looks like it got sent it to me, last night.｣

「It's so embarrassing, don't laugh.｣His insecurity comes out and then he thinks for second. That sister of mine... She must have done it when she changed my screen saver.

「And how is it perverted? I don't like perverts.｣ He thinks back to his experiences with them before he knew what they were.

That hurts… I'm definitely the most perverted person he knows.

「 No, Etchi is more gentle than pervert, it's more like horny or sexy.｣

「?｣

「Horny is when you feel aroused a sexy thing is something that makes you feel horny. but that sort of subjective, since a 'sexy girl' doesn't make me horny.｣

「 That didn't help.｣ He re-reads it.

「 What's aroused?｣

Wow, how much detail do I have to go into? I feel like I'm corrupting him.

「 Being aroused is when your ochinchin stands up, but you might just feel funny or your nipples stand up.｣

「Ok, I've been horny before, but only ever with aniki. I get it.｣

Actually maybe not fully.

「So that means he's sexy?｣ He reconsiders.

「Or is that Etchi?｣

「Hentai?｣

「So you don't get it?｣

「No.｣

「This might not be my opinion, but for the sake of this explanation he would be called sexy.｣「That makes sense now thanks.｣

「Good so Etchi is basically a sexual thing.｣

「Are you a hentai?｣

「You could say that, but so are most boys our age｣

「So, that's why you think the picture is Etchi.? Am I a hentai?｣

「No, and don't ever change, the less perverted, the better.｣

「Goodnight Pokei-chan .｣

Thanks for the picture.

「Goodnight Mizusawa-sensei.｣


	35. Chapter 35

Nippori goes to Wataru's room. He's now barely able to keep his eyes open. He stretches before trying to get into Wataru's bed. He takes the opportunity to be the big spoon. "Goodnight nii-chan."

Wataru turns and faces him. "Wait, how's your head?"

"Don't worry it's just a scratch." He closes his eyes. He's really tired what should I do? It's only twenty past nine. He starts to distract him by complimenting his hair.

"Your hair looks great Keiji-kun,"

"Thanks, I think so too."

 _It's customary to display modesty, by denying compliments..._

"Are you gonna start wearing it like that from now on?"

"Nah. It's not that I don't like it, but my little sister will probably make fun of me again." He shows Wataru his screensaver, his eyes light up as he chokes, taking the photo in he tries to conceal his excitement, as he assumes the more erotic things they do, the faster Nippori will fall asleep. "Do you know how to change it? She put that makeup on as a prank while I was asleep. Then she sent this picture to Mizusawa." His filter continues to fail to kick in.

"Mizusawa?... How did you get his email address?" He gets confused and slightly jealous, when he remembers the effect of the injury.

"He gave it to me when we started talking."

"What about?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Well, I saw a romance film, with my sister, one weekend. Which made me want to confess to you, but I didn't know how, so I asked him."

"Why did you ask _him_?"

"I felt like he had some kind of experience. The expression on his face when he looks a Kiyama reminded me of one of the characters. It turns out, he confessed to him in their first year and they've been happy ever since."

"Kiyama and Mizusawa? I didn't see that coming… So, we're not the only ones?" He is too relieved to react to the fact that Nippori told Mizusawa about their relationship.

"Oops, I forgot, I'm not supposed to tell anyone because Kiyama's parents don't like gay people, ssshhh." He places a finger on his lip as he says this.

"What are gay people?"

"Us."

"Us?"

"It doesn't matter, labels don't matter we're all people." Wataru nods in agreement."Don't tell anyone. Anyway, so... Yeah, it was a funny story. When I asked him how to confess and he explained it, I found out after all that, it turns out that I already did! I just needed to say 'I love you.' I really do... I love you more than life itself!" He turns over and starts to sleep again.

"No, wake up! I love you too."

 _How can I distract him again? It's only ten. Start a fight?_

"Can I see that photo again?" Nippori shows him. "Maybe, you _should_ be the 'girl', I can't compete with that." He gets out of the bed and goes into the corner.

 _Maybe I was too harsh? At least he's out of bed._

"No, I didn't mean it, we're both the 'man', I just want you to challenge me to a fight. This time, I'm not too much of a coward to accept you, you know I was worried I might lose." He shamelessly lies.

"Sure I'll fight you anytime anywhere fool!" He puts on some bravado, as his uncharacteristically rough fighting talk comes out and he flexes his virtually non-existent muscles. No doubt imitating the actions of a character in a show. "Come at me bro," He remarks gesturing for him to make his move. Wataru charges at him in response, with no intent to injure, just disable by putting him it a half nelson or any kind of hold that will hurt until he gives up.

 _At least he'll get the opportunity to prove me wrong, if he can... And if I fight him, I'm treating him like an equal!_

They collide and Nippori notices Wataru's erection. "Nii-chan are you horny?"

"What's 'horny'?"

 _We can't do 'anything' otherwise, he'll fall straight to sleep._

"Oh, it's this word Mizusawa taught me. Read these messages and you'll get it."

"Oh yeah, you said he saw the picture." He furrows his brow. Reading through the messages. "Oh yeah, that is a really Etchi photo!"

 _Few! I'm the_ _ **only**_ _one that can make him feel that way._ He continues to react to the stream of messages. "He's a… Hentai!?" He thinks, suddenly, getting more protective of Nippori.

"I hope the picture didn't make him horny... I'm gonna ask him."

"No, don't!" Nippori intervenes. "Then he'll know I told you about him and Kiyama. Oops now you know I told him about me and you... I've been a naughty boy." He says this honestly, but it sparks a flame in Wataru, he didn't know he had, until now.


	36. Chapter 36

"I'm going to forgive you, but just answer this question." He nods, poking a finger in the corner of his mouth, flirtatiously. In hopes of winning over Wataru's emotions.

"What do you do with naughty boys?"

"Give them a timeout?"

"Ok, your sister's harsher, what does she do?"

"Yeah, she is cruel sometimes, she slaps them on the bare bum once for every year of their age. I can't bring myself to do it, but she says it's what mum what have done. Don't hit me." He begs, realising the conclusion he was expected to come to.

"It wouldn't be a punishment if you enjoyed it."

"Exactly, you're right." He agrees.

"Ask for it."

"Punish me nii-chan, I've been a very bad boy."

"I know you have, you're nearly forgiven, pull your pyjama bottoms down. There's a good boy." He sits on the bed and pats his lap. Nippori approaches without hesitation, he's looking forward to being forgiven.

"Oh, nii-chan, your ochinchin..."

"We can sort that out later."

He doesn't speak up about his excitement, since you're 'not' supposed to enjoy punishment. However, he does get impatient. "Nii-chan stop teasing. just do it." So he does with a firm but gentle blow.

Ah, he likes it, I can feel his ochinchin!

Uwaah~ Nii-chan's Knees are in the perfect position. Wataru continues to 'punish' Nippori.

He gets fidgety, as he tries to disguise the gentle pistoning of his hips between Wataru's knees. And on the tenth strike he loses it.

"Oooooooooaaaaaaahhhh~ Nnnnnnnnn~ Nnnniiiiiii-chiiiiiiiiiyaaaaaaannnnnnn~That feels so good, hit me harder!" His hips continue to buck, erratically. "Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaa~" He moans, putting some weight on his feet to avoid losing his balance again.

"You weren't supposed to enjoy that," He kids.

"Ok, you've punished me enough. I can't help enjoying it, do you forgive me?"

"Of course, I forgave you as soon as you asked me to, because I love you."

"Erm, let me help you."

It's half ten, an hour and a half seems bit long. There's no way I can last that long. I just need to drag this out.

"Ok, let's take off our clothes again."

"I got messy last time. I might not be able to sleep comfortably with all your stuff on me."

"We could stop and change position before I get 'there' so you'll stay clean."

"That sounds great." They strip and get under the covers. They grind their crutches together. For Nippori, each thrust is more desperate than the last, as he nears his limit. He grips onto Wataru's shoulder blades more tightly. "Uuuuuuuuuuuuwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh~ Uuuuuuuuunnnnnnn~ Nnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiii-chiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyaaaannnnnn~" He pants, out of breath."That was a good one." It's only quarter to eleven!... I wonder how many of 'those' I can make him have in one night. What was the record again?... Four, five, six… Seven!? And how many has he had so far today, there was the bath and two just now? That makes three so there are only five more till we beat the record. I'm sure he won't be able to do this soon, so we might as well make the most of it, plus the intense ones don't come till later... I love his reactions, he's so sensitive! An hour's plenty, but I know I'll need a break.

"Ok, Keiji-kun let's count how many of 'those' you can do in one night."

"Well I am already exhausted, so it might not be that impressive. Ohh!~ Its back you have such an affect on me nii-chan." They resume their activity. Wataru begins to experiment with dirty talk, in an attempt to promote Nippori's passions.


	37. Chapter 37

Wataru begins to experiment with dirty talk in an attempt to promote Nippori's passions.

"Ohhhhh, Keiji-kun you're so cute. I've been hard since I saw that photo. I love the way your soft round bum cheeks feel in the palm of my hand." He squeezes for emphasis.

"Aaaaaaaahhhh~ Nnnnn~ Nnnniiii-channn, you're the only one that can touch me and make me feel good,"

 _Yosha! He's mine and only mine! I'm the only one..._

"I never want to be away from your touch and your heat. This body is yours as long as I can have just a taste of… Aaaahhhh~ Aaaaahhh~ It's haaaaapeniiiing~ Ooooooaaaaaaaahhhh~ Nnnnnn~" He speeds up his movements, "Kiiiiiiiiiimmmmmooooooochiiiiiiiiiiiiii~!*"

 _That's four, it's so easy to get him going._ He contemplates his skill for manipulation.

 _I could totally go for sleeping right now... Look at the time it's so late!... But it would be selfish of me to leave him after all this time waiting. It's not as if I could ever get fed up with being this close to him._ He yawns.

 _I need to up the ante._ He leans in to plant a kiss on Nippori's lips then teasingly withdraws pulling part of Nippori's bottom lip between his teeth. Nippori whimpers needily, trying to maintain the contact by lifting his head off the pillow, eyes still closed. Rather than begging he forcibly changes position by flinging the unexpecting Wataru off him and placing one knee on either side of him increasing his pace and leaning in to claim his kiss, which has increased passion. Wataru likes this side of him _._

 _He's definitely more awake now. Ooh, that was exciting._ Wataru also speeds up and groans into the kiss. Which sends Nippori over the edge. His blissful moans are muffled by the confines of his aniki's mouth _. Great five that's a result. I'm getting close, I did say I'd warn him._

"Ok, now I'm nearly there."

"It took you long enough." He declares with no delicacy.

"We should probably change positions now. Do you remember when we were in the bath?"

"Yeah, I thought about doing that in a bed too! It's way more comfy and safe. Except I've thought about changing it, so we're both on our sides rather than me being on top of you. It takes the pressure off."

"Good thinking." They lay on their sides with Nippori at the foot and Wataru at the head of the bed. They simultaneously apply their lips to the heads of their partner's throbbing masses. This time, Wataru is keen to refrain from neglecting Nippori even at the most intense parts. So he earnestly envelops the whole of Nippori's length and rhythmically pulsates his tongue. While doing everything in his power to gain control of the contractions of his throat muscles. Nippori has to resort to using his hands, as he loses the ability to control his moans, vocalising his euphoric feelings."Nnnnnnnnnnn~ Nnnnnnniiiiiii-chiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyaaaannnnnnn~ Just a little bit more I can't take it! Nnnnnnnnngggggggaaaaaah~ " He uncontrollably thrusts his hips into Wataru's mouth. After that, he pulls out and reaches down pulling enthusiastically, his hips bouncing off the bed, in time with the pumps.

 _See, I knew I could make him have another one of those intense ones before the night was over... Look at his chest heaving. His nipples are standing which means… He's horny? What would happen if I licked one? They look so inviting._ He leans down and gives a tentative, experimental lick. Nippori convulses. _I like that reaction..._ He sucks more energetically. Nippori turns his head, biting the nearby duvet, suppressing what only he knew would be screams of pleasure.

"Woah nii chan I don't know how much longer I can keep going. I've just had three, each better than the last! I think I need to cool down for a second. I thought I was just gonna have one when I started with my hand but when you sucked my le it took me to a whole new level. Sorry about that, I forgot about you for a while." He resumes with double speed and efforts, remembering his ball squeezing technique. Wataru attempts to reciprocate. "No don't touch, I can't take it!"

 _It's half eleven I know we can't keep doing this much longer. I'll likely last another minute at this rate. He definitely needs a recharge. How many was that, nine?_

"Keiji-kun! Oooooaaaaoaooaaahhh~ Aaaaaaaaaaaah!" Nippori's eyes water as the sudden burst of semen trickles down his chin and he chokes into the bin at Wataru's bedside.

 _He normally warns me, that's a bit strange... But he has been a bit distracted since I banged my head... We didn't even watch 'One piece' together. I hope he's not blaming himself... I'll just hug him and I'm so tired, that's got to be it for tonight... He's got that gormless look on his face... He hasn't opened his eyes yet. I'll just get comfortable now and..._

He takes a minute to get over the sensation and by then Nippori is repositioned at the head of the bed with his arms wrapped round his chest, thoroughly spent, lightly dosing. Authors note

*Kimochi ii means good feeling, but we would say 'that feels great'.


	38. Chapter 38

_I wanna sleep too... Only half an hour left._

"Wake up Keiji-kun."

"Five more minutes, it can't be morning already."

"How's your head?"

"It doesn't hurt, I told you it's just a scratch."

 _How can I make sure he's alright?_

"What's the most dirty thing Mizusawa has ever told you?"

 _This is a test of his restraint._

"Errm, I can't tell you it's a secret?"

 _He seems to be back to normal. but what is he hiding from me?_

"A secret?"

"It's a surprise, I think you'll enjoy it, but I'm not ready to tell you."

"If I win you in a fight, will you tell me?" Wataru is actually quite capable of being sensible at times his idea both kills time and should get him some intriguing information, _if_ he manages to gain the upper hand.

"Sure, I know your weakness, what have I got to lose?"

 _He seems fine..._ _He hasn't mentioned feeling sick, so it should be all clear in another thirty minutes. I don't wanna do anything... 'Horny'? I'll never understand those words... He should probably put clothes on_.

"Here." He hands Nippori a pair of underwear.

"Don't worry I won't get horny."

 _I knew it was an adjective!..._

"All can think about is winning. Because I'm going to beat you for the first time." Maniacal laugh. He makes the first move trying to topple Wataru to the floor, using brute strength and failing. "Whoever says 'Apricot' gives up and therefore loses." He declares already picturing his victory.

"So 'Apricot' is the safe word?... You better get used to saying it, so I can hear you clearly when you give up." He says confidently while showing no signs of difficulty, looking at his mime-watch and tapping his foot in mockery to Nippori's effort.

"Get serious aniki!"

"Aniki!? Ok, Nippori." He retaliates. "If that's how you wanna play it, I was gonna go gently but ok whatever."

"Shōbu da!*" He exclaims. Wataru effortlessly knocks Nippori to the floor, he clearly has the advantage.

 _He's tough... But I can take him! I still haven't revealed my secret weapon._ Nippori is it the submissive position, but not ready to give in yet. He reaches up and tickles Wataru, whose muscles contract in defence Nippori sees an opening and turns the tables. Wataru giggles uncontrollably as Nippori mercilessly attacks his weak spots.

 _No way am I losing this battle, I really need to know that secret. I least I think I want to know... It's about me, isn't it?_

He tries to reciprocate, fruitlessly trying to reach Nippori, only to expose himself more.

 _He's in a really vulnerable position._

 _I didn't see that coming, even I can tell I've lost._

"Apricot."

"Yatta!**" He relaxes and basks in the glory as he flops down on Wataru's naked sweaty heaving body. The two pant, out of breath.

"Well done Keiji-kun you did it! I was serious _too_."

"What do you take me for?" He's glowing with pride.

 _Oh, it's five to, we can just go to bed now. He's definitely his normal self! I was actually worried for a minute... Oh! What have we here then?_

"Keiji-kun."

"What is it nii-chan?"

"Your ochinchin! I can't believe it! This'll be your tenth one!"

"I hope it's the last one, because I wanna go to sleep, I've never been up this late."

"Midnight?" He nods. "Not even on new year?"

"I try, but I never make it."

"Ok, why don't we get under the covers? Then we can go to sleep straight after."

"You read my mind." They get under the sheets and Wataru assumes the position of big spoon, his actions and position mirror that of his first sexual encounter with Nippori. He thinks back to that time and once again begins to grind his erection into the cleft of Nippori's symmetrical round bum cheeks. Except this time there aren't layers of clothes separating them, this heightens the experience, as it's a new sensation with more friction and heat. Nippori notices the protrusion and tries his hand at dirty talk. "Oh~ Niii-chaaann~ You're horny too! I like making your ochinchin hard are you gonna squirt for me?" He flirts.

 _Please not on my back…_

"Ooooooaaaaaaaaoooooooooaaaaaaaaahhhh~ Mmmmmm~ Yes yes!" Wataru speeds up the jerks of his hand. "Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-chiiiiiiiiyyyyyaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn~!" Nippori spasmodically thrusts into the palm of Wataru's hand moaning in delight and satisfaction before closing his eyes and drifting off to a blissful sleep.

 _He's asleep I'll leave him to it, I'm pretty close anyway... I love the way his face screws up like that, it lets me know how he's feeling... I'm glad I've been able to improve the way he feels when he's here... I can't imagine life without him now... I need to stay quiet but how? I'm just picturing what I saw and it's too much, I can't last much longer. I don't want to wake him up._ Wataru bites the knuckle of his index finger as he tries to suppress his moans. _Ooops I forgot to get a tissue... Oh well, too late!_ He tenses and lets out a quiet sigh of relief. _Few I didn't need a tissue, it was only a trickle... It was my third after all!_

Author's note.

Shōbu da→it's a battle!

Yatta!→Victory/I did it/triumph/success etc.


	39. Chapter 39

"Wake up you two! The restaurant opens in twenty minutes, you need to start sweeping."

 _No response._ So she barges in.

"Good morning Okaasan. Do you need me to start the floor? I can finish my homework after. I don't normally bring it, but my sister distracted me on Friday night."

"OK. that's fine, you should finish it. It's _this_ one I'm after." She gestures at Wataru who peacefully but ungracefully sleeps with a stream of drool going from the corner of his mouth to small puddle on the mattress. She pinches his ear. "Ow, that hurts Keiji-kun." He mumbles, eyes closed, still half asleep.

"Who's Keiji?" Wataru notices his mother is in the room and cracks open one eye as a precaution.

"That's my first name."

"Oh, I see... Awwww~" She makes a compassionate face, but doesn't loosen the death grip on her son's ear.

"Itai yo! Kono kuso baba!?*"

"How, very, dare you!?" Nippori questions, staccato, out of shock he clutches his chest, not fully understanding their dynamic. Natsuko smiles at his sensitivity to foul language and he resumes his homework.

"I was about to have a go at you for taking over the bed, but he's really your otouto-bun, isn't he?..."

 _They must be taking it in turns._

"...Knowing Nippori-chan he probably decided to share."

"Actually, it wasn't my idea... I'm just thinking back to that first Sunday, when he taught me how to..." Wataru's ears pick up, though his eyes are still closed. He's not alert enough to make a move so Nippori continues. "... Lie in. I woke him up at eight and he thought that was strange. But we've been sharing, ever since!"

 _He acts as if he's gaining something by sharing... Wataru must have somehow tricked him into giving up the bed, but he seems happy._

"That's nice... I see now, that he has to be motivated to be thoughtful."

 _Or should I say selfish… Refusing to give up his bed for_ _ **one**_ _night a week!? I can see now that he must've been losing sleep by getting up and entertaining his friend...So he decided to make him go back to sleep?_ She starts to lose her patience with him.

"So, you like sleeping late. huh, Wataru?" He hums an affirmative response not bothering to even open his mouth to reply. "Get a grip, it's time to get up and sweep the trail of sand you left in the restaurant yesterday. It'll take five minutes if you put your back into it." He doesn't say anything. "Come on, get up the restaurant opens in twenty minutes. Now! We haven't got all day. You've got to the count of five to get up, because I know you'll go back to sleep if I leave." He clutches the sheet in defiance. "Five, four, three, two, one." He ignores the countdown. She pulls off the duvet in one clean motion, him refusing to get out of bet is definitely a frequent occurrence. He pitifully tries to hide his indecency. "Oh please, I've seen it all before. But I would imagine you would have worn something more decent to bed when you have a visitor." She turns to Nippori, who's blushing. "I'm sorry you had to see that he's such a lout. I'll see you downstairs. No breakfast until your chore is finished. Nippori, you can finish your homework."

"No worries, it's already finished. I'll make sure he's downstairs in the next two minutes."

"At least I can rely on _one_ of you." She gives her death glare to Wataru, who cowers, still shivering helplessly in the foetal position. She shuts the door.

"Sorry, I folded away your clothes." He hands them to him. "You know? The logical thing to have done would have been to lay face down." He shrugs in agreement then sits up and notices something. "Nippori..." He gestures.

"What?... Oh no! Oops, nevermind we've got a deadline to meet... Sorry, when I finished my work I turned around and you were just _there_. I'd go before you to get a head start, but I promised I would get you sorted in two minutes, so get a move on, you slow coach." That's the extent of Nippori's bad language. Wataru is both offended and intrigued as he obeys, feeling an overwhelming desire to do as he's told.

Author's note

*Itai yo! Kono kuso baba →Ow that hurts you old hag/witch!


	40. Chapter 40

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yep, I need to learn to wait, like you do. Plus, if we start now who knows when it'll stop?"

They make it to the restaurant with eighteen seconds to spare.

"Well done, you were prompt! I'll be in the kitchen. Here are the sweeping brushes, try to get it into a pile in the middle then use the dustpan."

"Thanks, I do sweeping at home so this should be fine."

"Good, I knew I could always rely on you." She goes into the kitchen. Nippori becomes assertive.

"I'll go from upstairs to downstairs and you go from the door, then we should meet in the middle, which saves time."

"Good, the sooner this is over the better." He remarks.

"Exactly, so your mum can be punctual with opening time!" He starts up the stairs before Wataru has the chance to respond. He stumbles a bit, but lands safely on his hands.

 _What's up with my balance? I can't think straight..._ Then he has to go back and pick up the broom he dropped. Wataru has already turned away and started to get on with sweeping, so doesn't snicker in reaction. _This really is really distracting. I suppose it's a bit of an endurance test… Besides fainting, I've never seen what happens if I just ignore it. Now is not the time to be dealing with it... It kinda hurts now... But that's part of the test! I'm sure he had to wait more than half an hour in the shower... I can do that!_ He psychs himself up as he starts to sweep from inside, where they stripped last night, up to the stairs, sticking to the trail. Wataru has a good pace and soon is in Nippori's line of sight.

 _Yabai!* I don't know if I can take it much longer..._ Tears stream down his face, silently. He secures his elbow around the broom handle and firmly taps his cheeks, eyes trained on Wataru. _Get a grip myself!..._ Soon, he can't see through the tears. Astonishingly Wataru is much faster than Nippori. He stands at the bottom of the stairs looking up. Nippori turns away to hide his distress.

"What's taking you so long? I beat you!" He boasts, completely unaware of Nippori's inner turmoil. In an attempt to maintain the illusion that he's fine Nippori speeds up and loses his footing. Wataru is conveniently positioned at the foot of the stairs, to catch him. It turns into a hug as Nippori plants his face into Wataru's shoulder for comfort, but the close contact actually isn't helping. "Good job I was standing here. You're not usually _this_ clumsy. I thought you were good at chores." Nippori sniffs and tries to be released from the hug, using his arms for leverage, then gives in.

"It hurts too much nii-chan… I can't think about anything else. This can't go on though, I've got a job to do… You're making it worse." He lets Nippori go, then notices the tears.

"I'd offer to help you, but like you said, we've got a job to can go upstairs, have a break. I'll finish."

"No, I will, because remember if you suffer, I suffer with you. It's been five minutes and I'm sure I can cope with two more. You go get the dustpan and brush." Wataru does as he's told, but not before he's kissed Nippori on the cheek. He dries his face and continues with new resolve, determined not to let down Natsuko. It takes a lot more energy for him to concentrate but he is successful. Wataru sweeps the sand into the dustpan and as he stands Nippori returns the kiss. "Thanks!"

"What for?" He says, emptying sand into the bin near the bar.

"For not doubting me." Natsuko enters.

"You fought me and won, of course I'll never doubt you!" Nippori runs up and hugs him from behind.

"Am I missing something?" Natsuko interrupts.

"He just showed his respect for me, as an equal!" He squeals gleefully. "Even own my little sister looks down on me..." He admits. "It just shows me that I have to fight for respect."

"No, that's a bad interpretation, it's more that you have to earn it and..." She joins the hug. "...It's not fair, I know because I went through it." She squeezes tighter which causes Nippori to poke into Wataru who gasps. "You can have breakfast now, your punishment's over."

"Aw, but I like punishment." He discloses.

"Oh? You're not supposed to enjoy punishment."

"I know, I've been told but it's still great."

 _I suspect he doesn't get punished at home... So this is the best opportunity for a nice son, that gets little credit for the work he does to get attention. He probably has no bad experiences with punishment. It's not as if he would ever do anything to deserve it._

Author's note

*Yabai→Dangerous/This is bad.


	41. Chapter 41

At the top of the stairs. "Do you want me to help you to take care of that?" He nods. Wataru reaches down.

"Here?"

"Why not?" Nippori can't think of a decent argument so shrugs. "Can we at least get in the door first?" They open the door and Wataru starts to kiss him feverently, pushing his back against the door. He moans into the kiss.

 _Oh~ He's so rough, but I like it! I've been waiting so long for this... Forget boys love, this is men's love._

"Not in the living room."

"Eeeeeh~?"

"Don't you wanna lay down?"

"Ok." Wataru picks him up and he wraps his legs around his waist. They continue to kiss passionately, Wataru's member prodding his backside. They make it to the door and Wataru opens it, never breaking the kiss. When he throws Nippori on the bed, he gets chills and lets out an uninhibited moan. Wataru takes off his shirt and he does the same. Standing up to take off his trousers, he pulls Wataru into a kiss on they both fall to the bed. Wataru takes his hand, as he inches down the bed.

"Why don't we…" Wataru presses a finger to his still moving lips.

"You've been waiting longer." He lines himself up and Nippori squeezes his hand, his warm breath already sending electrical impulses. He darts out his tongue teasingly before ravenously enveloping Nippori's twitching penis, effortlessly. Nippori's back arcs, hips lifting off the bed, in time with Wataru's movements. He runs his free hand through Wataru's crimson locks.

"Nnnnnnnnnn~ Aaaaaaaaaaaah~ Nii-chan~!" He squeezes his hand tighter now, rapidly plunging into Wataru's mouth. He speeds up, anticipating his love's climax. Nippori doesn't have to worry about hurting Wataru, so actively pulls his head into the thrusts.

"Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnn~"

"You can stop now." He puts his palm on his forehead. He complies and crawls back up, leaving a trail of kisses. He pays lots of attention to the nipples, he sucks unrelentingly, using his hand to stimulate the other. Nippori's hips start to bounce off the bed again.

 _Uwa~ Nii-chan's legs are in the perfect position again, they're a bit sweaty, I know it'll feel good if I can push through…_ He hugs Wataru closer, manipulating him so they can kiss again. _His legs are nice and soft... Much warmer than when he had clothes on... I wonder if this is what sex is like…? Maybe I wanna do it... To him, that is!..._ He moans into the kiss and bites Wataru's lip, slightly. He squeezes his eyes shut as he spasms three times and rolls away from Wataru.

"What? I didn't even touch you." Nippori isn't listening.

 _Well maybe I do want to do it, but we have to take it in turns… Am I gonna have to teach him?_

"Keiji-kun?" He opens his eyes. "That was fast." He blinks as he comes out of his own world.

"Yeah, it's because I used your legs, let me show you. Get on your knees, like this." He kneels. "Then put your ochinchin here." He pulls Wataru towards his closed thighs. "Push." He tries and Nippori's thighs don't part. He opens them a bit more. Wataru gets in but can't move.

 _I could get the lube from my bag…_

"Maybe you should spit on it, since yours was wet from when I sucked it."

"Good idea!" He spits on his hand and coats Wataru's throbbing penis. He shudders. They try again and this time it works.

"See that feels good, doesn't it?" He lets out a moan in confirmation. They hug causing Wataru's penis to poke out from between Nippori's legs, slightly parting his doughy soft cheeks. They establish a pace, Nippori being stimulated by the contact from their stomachs. "It's getting a bit dry, isn't it, nii-chan?" He spits more, just straight down not wanting to break a contact some gets on their stomachs but there is enough moisture where it's needed. Wataru starts to kiss him and his legs give. They both lay down.

"Aaaaaah~ Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaannnnnnn!~"

Wataru clings to his back holding him in position, above him. Nippori tenses his thigh muscles and Wataru reaches up to roll both of his nipples between his thumb and forefingers. "Nnnn~, Oooh~ nii-chan, are y-y-yoou rea~ady?"

"Together?"

"I won't make it if you... Keeeeep dooooing thaaaat." He takes both of Wataru's hands and leans down to kiss him. Nippori's first, he tenses his muscles and moans in ecstasy which pushes Wataru over the edge. He flips Nippori, taking control of the situation on ejaculating onto the bedsheet. "How was that nii-chan?"

I'm kind of hungry, good job breakfast is already on the dining table.

"I wish I had a cigarette… It doesn't make since I quit like a month ago." He contemplates for a second. "That was really good thanks… But, I never noticed you doing that."

"No way, I was doing it when you punished me last night as well."

"Wow, really? I didn't feel a thing." This slips out, before he realises his insult and Nippori is in the corner.

"Let's just get breakfast." He sulks.

 _He really can't hide his feelings._

"I like it!"

"What do you like?"

"Your ochinchin."

"Why would you compliment 'that'?"

"Because you're sad and I want you to be happy with your body. _I_ am."

Does he really think flattery will have an effect… I know I'm nothing special…

"Don't let what I just said get you down."

 _He's just trying to cover up the fact what he said first as true... That I'm insignificant..._

"I really think you don't need to change. It doesn't make you any less of a person. Girls don't have them remember."

"Don't compare me to a girl."

 _He thinks I'm like one? No wonder he was like that on the date... I should just give up like Mizusawa suggested... My sister's already agreeing with him as it is..._

Wataru frowns, noticing the difference between what he said and what he means.

 _He's not being told he's a weakling and that's his main insecurity._

"Sorry, that was my mistake. Still, don't let it define you."

 _He's so much more thoughtful than my sister and Mizusawa. He turns around and faces Wataru._

"I just don't like being picked on because of it."

"Why should they judge you? It has no affect on their life, If I like it that's all that matters." He gets up and sits on Wataru's lap.

"You're right, thanks."

"How dare they make fun of my ochinchin."

"It's mine, I'm not a thing you can own silly."

"We share remember, I'm yours too."

"What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine?"

"I couldn't have said it better myself." He kisses his forehead. Nippori's belly rumbles and they laugh.


	42. Chapter 42

They sit down to eat their breakfast and Nippori remembers his epiphany. "Have you ever heard of sex?"

"Like unisex? Sex cells?"

 _What did I just learn about the other day?..._

"Do you remember that courtship thing you were talking about?"

"Did you just learn it?"

"What does an animal do after courtship?"

"Come on, it's too early in the morning for a test!"

"Ten o'clock? You've got to know."

"Erm, they mate."

"That's right, I wanna try it."

"What? No! Are you leaving me!?" Tears start to well up in Wataru's eyes as he begins jumping to conclusions and lamenting the loss of their relationship. "I thought a kiss was a promise that two hearts make!" Nippori moves over on his knees to hug the seated, weeping Wataru from behind.

"Actually, I want to try it with you."

"I'm not female, I don't have eggs, I thought we didn't want kids yet."

 _I'm royally messing this up..._

"We're people, like I said before, we're different, it's called sleeping together."

Oh, how the tables have turned. Now Wataru's more innocent than Nippori. Wataru still hasn't calmed down and starts sniffling.

 _Now I feel sorry for him having to deal with me when I get emotional… This is all my fault, I'm just confusing him. What should I do?_

"I'll never leave you, not until I die. I love you more than anything and life without you is not worth living. I'll take care of you when you're sick and I'll eventually work so hard, I never have to think about money again...Trust me."

"Ok, I'm listening." He returns to his breakfast.

 _Few, now back to the subject…_

"Now, I don't know what would happen if one of us was a girl, but I've got an idea with two boys. It's called anal sex."

"Is that anus has in?" He points.

"That's the one."

"It's a bit early for April Fools, don't you think? Where are the hidden cameras? You're kidding me, right?"

"I was shocked too, but Kiyama does it with Mizusawa all the time."

 _Maybe I should top first to demonstrate?_

"What!? Just because Mizusawa and Kiyama do something doesn't mean we should, I thought you didn't like following the crowd."

"I just wanted to try it, at least once… I'm imagining it to be something like this." He gestures with his hands.

"Why would you want to put your ochinchin in my ketsu?"

"Actually, Mizusawa suggested that you start."

"Isn't that a little bit gross?"

"I thought the same thing. I'm sure he described it as like a game... It's not what you think ...Or maybe it is! Do you know how it felt when you were between my thighs?"

"How could I forget?"

"Imagine if that was more slippery, tighter and warmer."

"I still can't get over where it is."

"It took me awhile to come to terms with it myself."

 _This is hopeless. We're definitely not going to be able to do anything soon, at least not today. I wanna get Mizusawa involved... He's done it both ways!... What was it he told me before? I need to explain 'that'..._

"Anal hurts."

"As if..." He blurts out.

 _I almost did it again, still, that can't possibly hurt, he can't hurt me… I could hurt him… Well he can forget it! That's not happening._ He raises his left hand, elbow bent at a right angle then swats his palm at a ninety-degree angle back and forth.

"Ok, let's not do it, shall we?"

"Why not are you scared I might hurt you? I'll be gentle." He's concerned about Wataru.

"I've thought long and hard about this, for more than a month. If you're not ready I can wait I could wait a decade if you want."

"No, _I_ don't want to hurt _you_."

"It's not like that, there are methods of preparing for it."

"Does it stop the pain?"

"I don't know, I've never tried."

"Can you explain?"

"That's fine. You might not get it at first, though, I know I didn't."

 _I'll definitely be more understanding than Mizusawa, because I started off knowing nothing too._

"You need to do a few things. You should probably stop eating for this," Wataru is even more curious but he complies.

 _I'm not sure I'll ever be able to get into this but I'll listen…_

"There's this thing called a 'rimjob'," He says, while standing up and clearing the table. Wataru listens intently. "Where you lick and stick your tongue into a bum hole… It supposedly feels good! The aim is to open it a bit, in a more gentle way." He starts to wash dishes and put things away. Wataru's eyes follow him around the room as they talk.

"Errrrrr..."

"Actually, It's clean because you have a really good shower first, erm what's next? You get some lube and use your fingers." Wataru furrows his brow in confusion tilting his head questioningly. Nippori finishes clearing everything away then takes Wataru's hand. "I don't know any more details. I can't explain let me show you." He leads him to the bedroom.


	43. Chapter 43

Inside the bedroom, Nippori lets go of Wataru's hand and goes to open his bag. He produces a bottle and small green object. "We're not trying anything until you understand. So... let's start small."

"What's that?"

"Errrm, it's called a buttplug."

"Why would you want to 'plug' your 'butt' and how does that help?"

"At first, Mizusawa was just going to give me this." He hands him the lube.

"What does this do?"

"It's kind of slippery, remember how you couldn't move between my thighs earlier?"

"Oh yeah, this kind of thing might have been helpful then."

"I almost got it out, but you had the spitting idea instead." Wataru squirts out a small amount and investigates it by rubbing it between his fingers and sniffing it.

"So, they sell this in shops? For people like us? I've never seen it before."

"Yeah me neither, he must've gone to a special shop." Nippori starts to get undressed, Wataru follows. "Wait! I'm showing you something, aren't I ?"

"Does that mean I can't get involved?"

"It's more like you just have to wait and see. Can I have that back please?" He retrieves the lube from Wataru.

"Sure."

 _I'm super-duper confused he's never not let me touch him before... Sex is annoying, why would I want, this?_ Nippori squirts a small amount of the lubricant onto the buttplug. Wataru is intrigued and manages to assume the role of a spectator, by sitting on the bed to observe. Nippori gives a nice even coating flawlessly as if he has somehow become used to the ritual task of lubing up a buttplug. Wataru stares gormlessly. _What's he gonna do next?... Wait, no I can guess. Why is my heart racing all of a sudden?... What's so exciting about this?... I suppose, those cheeks are so plump and round I wanna get my hands on them again. -I just hope he's not affected by those ossans* at the host club-. Ah, that thought is just so... 'Horny'fying? It_ _ **is**_ _standing up again... How long is he going to make me wait?_ Once satisfied with the quality of the coating, Nippori gets on all fours on the floor, right in front of Wataru. He starts to lose patience as the pressure builds and says.

"Get on with it!"

 _Oh, so he's more keen than I thought he was?_

"Be patient, I need to take my time with this part, gimme your hand." He reaches around behind himself and lines up the butt plug with his entrance. Then he inserts it, gritting his teeth and tightening the grip on Wataru's hand.

"That looks painful." Wataru comments.

"It was before, but I've been doing it for an hour a day!"

"I can't believe you've been putting it in all this time! Keep me updated from now! Next time you wear it make sure you tell me!" He says all this without thinking, then takes a moment. "Actually no that'd make me horny... But then it would just keep me guessing." He tries to evaluate the advantages and inconveniences of knowing whether or not Nippori is wearing a buttplug and ends up changing the subject because it hurts his brain. "How does it feel?"

"Not too bad, sometimes I forget it's even there."

"What does a butt plug even do then? Just stay in there?"

"Pretty much, but it's supposed to help me."

 _Once I get used to it..._

"Do you remember how I said Mizusawa was only going to give me this?" He shows him the lube. Wataru nods. "He decided to delay my surprise to add the butt plug as a bonus gift when I told him how 'big' you were. I think he was probably right, though, I don't know how I'd be able to handle you without it as preparation... Do you understand now?"

"Mostly, I'm not saying 'no, but I _am_ saying 'not yet'. Like you said it took you a bit to understand it. I kinda wanna speak to Mizusawa first."

"Absolutely, you've got questions. I didn't wanna do it today either. I just wanted to make you aware. Do you wanna ask him together?"

 _I can't have him in 'that' conversation. He expects me not to worry about him, but I can't help it._

"I think I'll be better off on my own, but how do I start a conversation about that? 'I hear you've had it both ways'?"

 _I've never even really spoken to the guy._

"You can't do that, then he'll know I told you his secret. I'll try to arrange something."

 _I'm glad we finally discussed sleeping together... Eeeeh?_

"Nii-chan your ochinchin!"

 _Great! He finally noticed me, now all the stupid sex stuff is over we can do something 'Etchi'? And I can take a nap, after. It's eleven now and my mum comes up for her thirty-minute lunch break at half twelve. What time did he say he had to work, again?...Well, I'm in no hurry, there's only one place I wanna be and that's my bed._

Author's note

Ossan→middle aged man


	44. Chapter 44

Wataru beckons Nippori, patting his lap for him to come and sit. He initiates a kiss penetrating his tongue deep into Nippori's welcoming mouth. He slowly leans back onto the bed, Nippori doesn't break the kiss and straddles him, with his knees on either side. Wataru clutches the cheeks he had been fantasising about, not much earlier. Nippori's memories are not triggered, as he now feels the new sensation of the movement of the buttplug as Wataru's groping causes it to gently jiggle inside of him. He moans into the kiss, now being conditioned to enjoy hands on his bum. Wataru had managed to obtain the object of his sexual desire, at this point, the fantasy of which had caused him to get hard. His excitement increases by the second as he involuntarily thrusts upwards. He lingers to grind into Nippori, his bottom half, still fully clothed. _Uwaa~ there's a lot going on I feel so full… I definitely can't take much more of this! That's a lot of pressure there, the buttplug really got him going, didn't it?_

"Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~ Nnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiyyyyyaaaaaannnnnnnnn~ Nnnniiiiiiiiiii-chaaaaaaan~ Ahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhaaaaaaaahhhaaaaaahhhh!~" Nippori flops off of Wataru shuddering, as the residual waves of orgasm ebb and flow. He unwrinkles his face and opens his eyes, which lay to rest on Wataru's smug face. It seems as though he finds pleasure in giving those feelings to Nippori, it's even more rewarding when he doesn't have to try. He especially likes the fact that he alone gets to see ' _that'_ face and hear ' _those'_ sounds. He knows and relishes in the fact that he is unique in being the only one to both witness and elicit such things. "Woah that felt different! I've never had 'that' feeling with a buttplug in."

 _I'm not even going to comment on how fast he is or how little it takes anymore... I'll just see it as a compliment. He did say he can only possibly feel like this with me. I like it that way…_ "Nii-chan, why are you still wearing clothes? Let me help you get those off for you." He goes to his waist and pulls his 'Xenoblade' t-shirt off over his head, taking control of the situation. He sits on Wataru's lap with his legs outstretched behind him, lowering his face before starting to initiate an intensely sensual yet spicy kiss. He shoves his hand down into Wataru's trousers, above the underwear and gently caresses teasingly. Wataru moans, their lips only breaking contact as he utters words of encouragement for Nippori to take it a step further. Nippori listens but takes a leaf out of Wataru's book, as he seductively kisses his neck, changing the pattern slightly, as he gives him a cheeky nibble on the earlobes, before moving even further down. He seeks to return the favour further, by experimenting with Wataru's nipples. He craves more stimulation, but the teasing really gets his motor running as the room echoes with his pleasure-filled groans. As much as Nippori gets off on the power trip of teasing Wataru he at long last reaches his destination and has to give into his thirst for Wataru's raging hard on. He finally releases it and it springs free from the elastic waistband fully engorged and throbbing. Nippori is enticed by its movement, as it bounces rhythmically. As much of a buzz as it gives him to take his time, he can't wait any longer. He pulls Wataru's trousers to his knees and starts of more slowly, showing some restraint. "Nnnngggghhh~ Keiji-kun, put your back into it! I can't deal with the teasing."

"You're gonna have to beg for it." He declares.

"Don't mess about now, I'll never beg."

"We'll see about that."

"I never told you before, but I like this side to you."

"Good because I secretly like to take control." He dons a cheesy grin. Then there is a flash of darkness as he suddenly goes serious. "You _will_ beg."

"Try me!" He taunts. "Wait do we need a safe word?"

"No, I'll never hurt you,"

"You got me all excited! Last night was sooooo... Horny?"

 _That sounds about right..._

"It looked like you were having fun."

"That's because I was. You don't need to be punished, I worked out that losing sleep was enough for you, that's why I won't let you,"

"You know me too well. But I won't beg."

 _Not unless the life of someone I care about is in danger._

" _You'll eat those words! Come to the edge of the bed."_


	45. Chapter 45

"You'll eat those words. Come to the edge of the bed." He commands. Nippori gets on his knees and his free hand goes south.

"Bring it! This is a true test of endurance."

"The more you raise the stakes, the more I look forward to winning." Nippori resumes enthusiastically, taking his knowledge of nipple stimulation and using it to his advantage.

"Oooo-o-o-oh! Is this a bet? Count me in! I think the loser should..." Nippori releases with a pop.

"Don't set _yourself_ up for anything too drastic!" He continues.

"I'd say that sounds like fighting talk, but It's just a disguise for your real fear. You just want an easy batsu* game." He detaches his lips.

"I was trying to merciful but if that's how you Wah~ Wah~ Waaaaannnnaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh~" He pants out of breath. "Wanna play it! What do you have in mind?" He reattaches his lips.

"So that's why you're shoulder was jiggling up and down?… How is that fair?"

He stops again. "I never said it was fair the only thing I said'd happen is that you'd beg. This is still a normal blowjob I'm not being tested." He starts again.

"What's a blowjob?..." He contemplates the context in was used in, Nippori gives him time to work it out. "This?..." He is still pensive but given time, is able to come to his own conclusions. "Mizusawa told you, didn't he? He probably helped you put that 'plan' together, the other week." He reminisces. "Ahhhhh~ I don't see why I would beg. I wouldn't change a thing here."

 _Well it'd help if he sped up a bit, but I can't be seen to be begging. Maybe I should make the batsu more embarrassing than harsh…_

"I've decided _your_ batsu, you need to ask Mizusawa what the white stuff is." Pop!

"They're seeds, he told me they're planted in the soil of a woman's belly to grow a baby." Slurp!

"You believe every story you're told don't you, as if someone could eat mud and not get ill. Even if he can't answer that truthfully, he has to know what 'that' feeling is called."He disconnects.

"Oaoooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh~ Yeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh~ Mmmhhmmm, 'that feeling'." He reconnects.

"Good so we're settled then that's the next question _you_ ask."

 _Yikes, my mouth's tired I can take a break… It's like twenty past I need to up my game. But how?_ Nippori removes his mouth and opts to use his hands. The lube is just to his side from earlier and he introduces it to Wataru's aching penis. He shivers in response to the cold sensation. Nippori gets creative, placing one hand on top of each other as part of a slick endless tunnel, the sensations are new to Wataru but what really surprises him is when Nippori introduces a new element to their activities. Wataru quivers, adjusting to the intrusion.

"Nnnnnnnnnn~ Keiji-kuuuuuuuuun~!"

 _I can't get much further what's this bumpy thing?_ He pushes down and for the first time Wataru squeals and writhes in ecstasy under the manipulation of Nippori's fingers. He gets close and starts to arch his back, raising his pelvis to meet the jerks of Nippori's hand when, he suddenly lets go. Wataru's eyes flash open. His jaw drops as he sees the look on Nippori's face, that tells him the action was neither a mistake nor a joke.

 _Good, that was how I wanted him to react. I suppose I've had a long enough break I can definitely use my mouth again._ He does. _Lube's not very nice I should have thought, but it can't be poisonous, can it? Of course not or people like us would be poisoned all the time… I should put a bit more on my finger before I put it back… Now that I'm sucking I can use my other hand to..._

"Don't just stop like that." He lets Wataru's penis pop out again.

"Why not? Do you have a request?" He raises an eyebrow suggestively. "That would be begging." He adds smugly and pops it back in.

"Are you doubting me? Nnnnnngggggaaaaaaahh~" Wataru loses control over the sounds that leave his mouth and Nippori receives the signals, denying Wataru once again.

"I'm not doubting you I just have confidence in my technique. Aaaaaaaaaa~ Nnnnnnnnnnnnn~ Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh~"

 _It's twenty to now, he's doing better than I thought! I thought he'd give up first time... After that one, I really feel like sleeping. I don't have to leave for work until half past one. I was up late last night, if it doesn't work this time I give up. I can't cope with making people suffer... The control was fun while it lasted._ He leaves a short amount of time for Wataru to calm down this time, making it so that he is already quite close when he resumes.

 _I can't take this any longer he's pushed me too far... He's obviously the only one that can ever reduce me to such a state..._

"I'd definitely be a rubbish Prisoner of War, I'd give away all my country's secrets."

 _Yay! He's about to give in!_

"I think they were a bit crueler than that, you should do some more research."

"This is it Keeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiijiiiiiiiiii-kuuuuuuun~ Aaaaaaaaaahhh~ I'm begging you."

 _What does it matter? I need to speak to Mizusawa anyway._

"Whatever you do don't stop!"

 _Yes, I did in!_

Wataru runs his hands through Nippori's hair, but tries not to put pressure on him. His fingers get tangled in the plaits, he tries to free his hand and pulls ever so slightly.

 _Oh~ I like that..._ His hand flies more rapidly, as he reaches completion. "Niiiiiiiii-chiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnn~!"

 _Just a little bit more and I can go to sleep._ He pants and is able to get lower than ever after all this practice. Wataru pokes into his throat and the vibrations caused by his choking send Wataru over the edge. "Arrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh~ Keeeeeeiiiiiijiiiii-kuuuuuunn~" Wataru rolls about the bed with spasmodic convulsions. "Thanks for making me wait like that that was by far the best one of 'those' of my life! You were right. That thing you did with your finger!…" He struggles to think of a description. "That was new!"

"Good, I don't know about you but after all that I need to sleep."

"I like the fact that we both gave in with our pledges." He says, pulling his trousers back up.

"At least I'm not getting a batsu." He flashes his tongue before curling up under the covers with Wataru. And they both sleep blissfully.

Authors note

*Batsu→ Penalty


	46. Chapter 46

Knock, knock! "Are those two really asleep again? Wataru is so lazy." She thinks out loud before entering once again. "Oh, so that's what you meant by sharing? How brotherly! Oi! Wake up! I need to capture this moment, let me get my camera!" Wataru wakes up and clutches the duvet defensively. "Eeeeeh? Why are you topless? What did I tell you? It's not _that_ warm is it?"

"I've got trousers on mum."

"Whatever, I don't need to hear your excuses. Just be more decent, You don't wanna give Nippori-chan a fright. Anyway, your dinner is on the table it's one o'clock now so I have to get back to work. I'm happy to see the kitchen's not a mess, let's keep it that way. Wataru remember to help Nippori-chan feel comfortable, I know you didn't do the dishes without being to told, so don't leave it to him this time."

"Don't worry Okaasan, I'm used to it." He says standing to stretch.

"I just want you to be able to come here and take a break."

"Thank you Okaasan, I haven't felt happier, since my mother died, I'm so glad that you look out for me." He hugs her.

"If you ever need anything, just ask him. He'll give it to you, because that's an order." She glances at him and realises Wataru has gone back to sleep. She calmly walks over to him and pinches his cheek firmly. "Oi! Were you even listening to my instructions?"

"Nah mum, it's too early."

"It's not too early it's one o'clock in the afternoon, like I said."

"Oh yeah, I have to leave in half an hour."

"Ok. Just make sure you get something to eat."

"I hope you have a nice day at work."

"And the same to you, at least _someone_ shows that he cares. How's your head? Let me have a look." He shows her his head and she tears off of the plaster to prevent the agony of slowly removing it. She changes the subject before his eyes start to water. "That looks good it's healing nicely you should leave the scab to breathe. There won't be any signs of it soon I'll kiss it better." He wipes away his tears as she pulls the back of his head the to kiss the wound. "That does feel better, thanks Okaasan."

"You're welcome. I need to go to the kitchen downstairs, so in case I don't see you before you leave bye and see you next week." She exits. Nipporis sits on the bed and starts to lose his plaits out.

"I wish you wouldn't care so much about what people think."

"No, I couldn't care less about what people think, because they're so often wrong about me. I only mind the way people treat me…" Wataru joins him on the bed and takes his hand supportively. "It's a shame I have to change my outside appearance to change the interpretation people get of me, despite the fact that my inside stays the same. But that's life, as much as I don't want people to be scared of me, I don't want people to underestimate me. Sorry about that, the weekend where I forgot my hair gel was a nightmare... So I'll do anything to avoid putting myself into that situation." Wataru opens his mouth to question. "I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say it sucks to be a 'girl'." Wataru embraces him.

"If anyone ever treats you 'like a girl' -whatever that involves- in front of me, a better watch themselves." He clenches his fists.

"Calm down, nii-chan. You don't have to be so protective of me, I can take care of myself, anyway remember the no fighting rule? If you hit anyone because of me, I'd find it hard to forgive you."

"OK, anything to make you happy."

"That's great let's eat, because I'm starving." They do and following that Nippori goes to work.


	47. Chapter 47

The following day, on Monday morning.

"Oi! Nippori." They rendezvous outside the school as usual. "How was your weekend and let me tell you that Wataru is one lucky fella."

"Really you think so?"

"Obviously, that picture of you looked gorgeous! Did you wear makeup for him?"

"No, that was my sister."

 _His sister! Does that mean I'm bi? They look so alike... No! I've met her, that was him few! I was worried for second then. How did I get confused though? He confirmed it was him via text on Saturday. I was a bit out of it at that point... I lost my head that's for sure, I hope I didn't say anything too inappropriate... I wish I didn't have to make Yama-chan drink* to become more talkative, I didn't know how to treat him after he told be about his guilt. It actually helps me understand him a bit more now... He feels like everything he's doing is a disappointment to his parents… Anyway what does he mean by sister? Is that an alter ego?_

"Eh? Sister?"

"She pranked me in my sleep."

"So, 'Imouto-san dokkiri' makes sense. She wasn't even trying to be subtle, was she?"

 _My judgement was definitely impaired on Saturday._

"Has Wataru seen you in make up?"

"He saw the picture. I think he thought it was 'Etchi' too."

"I thought so, How do you feel about it?"

"I wanted to return this." He holds out the eyeliner. "My eyes are a bit sensitive to it."

"There are liquid varieties too, but I think this one is more value for money."

"No, that's cool, I don't like the way it feels. I had to take it off as soon as I woke up, because I felt like there was something in my eye and when I rubbed it, it just smudged."

"You just have to be aware that it's on you."

"I can't I'm the same with face paint, I forget and it goes everywhere, The less artificial things covering my skin the better. They're too restrictive."

 _Oops, I need to ask him something._

"Mizusawa-sensei, I need your help. I told him about the 'sex' thing and he's really shocked. I don't think I managed to explain the pain part very well... Can you talk to him later please?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Is lunchtime ok with you?"

"Of course it is. How does the back of the bike sheds sound?"

"That sounds perfect. I'll tell him at break. How was your weekend?"

"It was an experience, I finally got Yama-chan to open up."

 _Though I wish his problems weren't_ _ **that**_ _deep._

"I think I understand him now. I might not have been able to make it that far if I didn't get that advice from you."

 _It's so obvious now how much his parents and guilt influence his actions._

"I'll catch you later, tell me how you get on with Wataru." They part ways and head to their form rooms.

Author's note

*I don't condone underage drinking or alcohol abuse.


	48. Chapter 48

**it started with a triple and it will end with a triple.**

Wataru strides up to Mizusawa.

"Oi, Mizusawa!" He shouts as he approaches. "Nippori arranged for me to speak to you." He says, using more of an inside voice.

"You're late."

 _Just because he knows my secret, he thinks he can get cheeky to me!? If I didn't care about being kicked off the team, I'd have slapped the smirk off his face!_

"Ah. Pokei-chan's told me all about you?"

"What on earth are you talking about?!"

"My best student, and now that you've come to learn from me, you also may call me Mizusawa-sensei. "

 _I am sick to death of people talking down to me just because they think they know more!_ He glares threateningly, fingers twitching as he does everything in his power to prevent his hand from balling into a fist.

"I'm kidding." He lies, sensing danger.

"You better be." He relaxes. "How many students do you have?"

"Two, including you."

 _That means he calls Nippori..._ He aggressively throws his bag on the ground, then grabs Mizusawa's collar and shoves him into the back of the bike sheds.

"Why do you call _my_ Nippori 'Pokei-chan'?"

 _Oh~ He's so, possessive! That would be hot, but I can't say I've ever been into the manly type... I'd worry too if I were him, though, Nippori is something else…_

"I thought you were talking about a girl." He tightens his grip. "He doesn't like being judged based on his looks." He butts heads against him. Grinding his forehead in and panting more loudly. "You better not be one of the people that took the mick out of him!"

 _What a kind and considerate top... I should be more like him. This protectiveness is cute._ Mizusawa is unfazed and enjoys the thrill of being manhandled. He spontaneously hugs Wataru.

 _I can't believe he thinks this is the time to touch me!..._ Wataru is confused. _The only reason he's not bleeding right now is because I promised Yuta and Nippori... I knew this would make people think I'm soft._ He manages to come to terms with the fact that in this confrontation, he is simply not threatening.

"You really care about him, don't you?"

"Of course I do, what do you take me for?"

"You're only trying to look after him, I get it. This is a cruel world we live in." He pats his back.

"You can say that again. I wish I could change it, so that he doesn't have to be a victim."

"That's how he feels about his sisters. He's stronger than he looks, you know?"

"I know, we fought on the weekend."

"Not like that, on the inside. Ok, now that we agree..." He squeezes tighter, confident that he has tamed Wataru's Green eyed monster. "... Why don't we be friends?"

The gentle timid animal lover Tanaka had just watched that, tentatively preparing himself to step in if things looked problematical. He now has questions, ( _Would Endo try to beat me up if I confessed to him? Why was he so angry? That looked like murderous rage... How did he stay so calm? Mizusawa's so brave... How did he know he would accept the hug?_ ) so he leaves. Understanding his own feelings, he assumes what's about to happen isn't fit for his eyes and he goes after the only other gay couple he knows.

"You can stop hugging me now, we're only friends remember." They press their backs to the bike shed and slump to the ground.

"Got it, I went off on one for a second. I feel like we're being watched, for some reason."

"I can't see anyone, if I could I wouldn't be about to say what I am."

"Do you need me to explain sex?"

"Pretty much... I've got the gist of it but some parts seem a bit complicated."

"Are you scared you might hurt him, because he's so sensitive?"

"Something like that... How d'ya know anyway?"

"He told me."

"That I was worried or that he's sensitive?"

 _I never told him I was worried... He seemed so sure of himself but the buttplug was tiny._

"He actually told me his explanation was rubbish and I guessed he was sensitive from his reaction to the buttplug."

"What!? You didn't put it in did you!?㈐2"

"No, no, no, that would be weird! I could just see that he'd been crying after it was in."

"How long ago was this?"

"At least a month ago, I can't think back, he's made a lot of progress since then."

"Can I stop that from happening again?"

"Oh no, the first time always hurts."

"See, I'm not _that_ interested in trying this. I can't stand the thought of hurting him and then there are all these other rules to follow. I just know I'm going to get it wrong."

"It's not a test and you don't have to if you don't want to, the time will come when you will."

"If you say so."

"It has been a while since he first asked me to explain and he's only just come to you."

"Ok, since there's no hurry can we have these lessons in installments, I need my lunch. Oh yeah and I've got a question."

"Ask away."

"This was a batsu and I'm kind of ashamed to ask you, but what do you call it when you get 'that feeling'?" Mizusawa chuckles inwardly. Wataru springs to his feet as if preparing to fight primitively sticking out his chest, in challenge. Mizusawa mimics him in mockery, then surprisingly, pulls him in, for another hug.

"I'm not playing with you." He warns, really being tested by Mizusawa's humour.

"Me neither, I was challenging you, to a hug. And the word is Iku*."

"Thanks, smell you later." He pushes him away and leaves.

Authors note

*Iku directly translates to go, but in English, we would say cum.


	49. Chapter 49

Mizusawa returns to his table of slightly flustered friends, they all look at him differently, as if scrutinising. The group confronts him. "Mizusawa-kun come and talk to your friend, Hamada." He says this in an uncharacteristically nice way.

"'Kun'!?"

"I just have to ask you a little question." He glances at the rest of the group, knowingly.

"Do you like that Azuma yankee?" He is quite a direct person so he just asks blatantly. Mizusawa erupts into laughter, clutching his sides as his whole body jolts, he is so amused he can't contain himself. He periodically slaps his thigh in disbelief, then drying his eyes he finally says. "I'd never be into him, he's not my type."

 _This is the funniest thing I've heard all day!_

"I like introverted boys with a more slender body type and the more naive, the better!" He has a sudden realisation and smacks the palm of his hand over his mouth, in shock.

"So, you _are_ gay?...I should have known!"

 _My gaydar must need a tune-up..._

"Oops, sorry I might have shouted... 'Mizusawa is gay!?' When someone from your rival team walked past." He admits. "You know what it's like when you just vomit words out." He tries to appeal to Mizusawa, for forgiveness. "You just did it." He comments accurately, but still inappropriately. Mizusawa roughs him up a bit. "It's not me I'm worried about... You should know better!" He raises his voice, unable to control his emotions. "If I could be open, I would, but his parents!" He realises he's letting more information slip and leaves.

"'His parents'?"

"Maybe he is hiding something?"

"Or someone?" Endo hints.

"But that Azuma guy only has a mum."

"I'm still confused, he didn't explain anything."

 _Why were they hugging?..._ Tanaka wonders.

"Well, at least we know his sexuality."

 _Not that it was any of our business in the first place… I feel bad for bringing it up now…_

"There is definitely some secret guy somewhere."

 _He better not be a cheat…_ Tanaka hopes.

Meanwhile, Mizusawa takes out his frustrations by bouncing a tennis ball against the wall in the team's special tumbling hideout (or store cupboard).

 _You're all a bunch of Jokers! You don't know how to take things seriously! Why do you have to such loud mouths? Except Tanaka, he's quiet, I know he has his quirks, but he's my favourite. If this gets out Yama-chan's gonna have to publicly disown me. How could I let my guard down like that? I just can't name his name. Only one person knows besides us..._

The group continue to speculate."Who is the most gorgeous guy on the men's rhythmic gymnastics team?"

"That's so subjective they are all stunning."

"So, you could see yourself with Kaneko and Satoshi!?"

"Satoshi _is_ cute in the little brother/puppy kind of way, but that's besides the point. You're one to talk Ma-chan."

"Don't use _that_ name in front of these guys!"

"Let's just work together... We _will_ get to the bottom of this!"


	50. Chapter 50

Later that same day. "Mizusawa-sensei, what's up? You look a bit down."

"All my friends know I'm gay."

"Isn't that good? Being gay is nothing to be ashamed of."

"I know that and trust me I'd be 'out, loud and proud' if I wasn't trying to respect Yama-chan's wishes."

"Your friends won't tell anyone."

 _At least I hope so... It better not have anything to do with Wataru._

"It's too late, a guy from Washizu knows and now things are gonna get out."

"What are you gonna do?"

"I'll never deny being gay because, like you said it's nothing to be ashamed of... But I think Yama-chan might deny that he loves me, I know he won't mean it but it'll hurt my feelings. If worst comes to worst I'll have to leave the team, so I don't mess this up for him. There are already enough rumours about him as it is."

 _Poor Kiyama... Wataru better not have let the information slip._

"How did your friends even find out?"

"I've got an idea, but they never told me."

"Go on."

"I hugged Wataru behind the bike sheds." Nippori looks at him quizzically. "In my defence, he looked like he was gonna kill me."

 _I knew Mizusawa was gonna annoy him._

"You need to be less cheeky."

 _I'm glad he managed to show restraint._

"Sorry, I'm not used to having to deal with temperamental people."

 _Yama-chan is always so distant, I can't get a reaction out of him and the most Nippori'd ever do is get offended, perhaps I should be a little bit less cocky._

"He can't actually hurt you, I made him promise."

 _I wonder if he had a bad reaction to Mizusawa's attitude and leaked the information… He's not spiteful, though, I know he gets a bit ticked off, but he doesn't hold a grudge or seek revenge..._

"He looked pretty agitated to me, it must be because of the way I was talking about you." What could he have possibly said?

"I didn't say anything horrible, but I think he was trying to defend you. He said something about you having the mick taken out of you."

 _Mizusawa **was** one of the people that laughed at me..._

"But it really kicked off when he asked that question and I couldn't hold my laughter in."

 _I know what question he's on about, Mizusawa's quite insensitive isn't he?_

"I get why he was mad."

"Because he was being protective of you?"

"Actually, it's more that he exposed his weakness and you laughed at him. Quitting being a Yankee has really affected him."

 _He's always thinking about what the lads would think. that's why I can't call him nii-chan in public..._

"He's not bad on the inside, but he's not used to having to earn respect. As much as people have always looked down on him, he became accustomed to being a boss and now the whole school's ridiculing him for tumbling. He's happier than he's ever been but he's still quite vulnerable. Don't push your luck. He only gets angry because he can't control his emotions."

"Wow! Well said Nippori I never thought of him as being sensitive. I suppose in takes a sensitive guy to know one."

 _It's so nice to see how they both look out for each other. Nippori's actually quite protective in his own way._

"I'll apologise to him tomorrow, I didn't think the way I acted hurt his feelings. With you it's more obvious. At least I managed to diffuse the situation, we're friends now."

"I'm glad." They reach the primary school and go their separate ways.


	51. Chapter 51

It's Tuesday morning and Nippori has a burning question.

 _I need to know how they found, out especially the Washizu guy._

"I know you're upset but I still never worked out how your mates found out you were gay."

"Well, as you know I hugged Wataru behind the bike sheds at lunch time. I think I've worked out that one of the lads saw us and thought we were doing something Etchi."

 _As if **my** Wataru would do that? I think they only saw what they wanted to see..._

"So who ever saw went and told Hamada and the rest."

I'm glad he wasn't responsible, because then it would be my fault too.

"How does the rival team know?"

"Hamada is a loud mouth so when he reacted that guy must have been within earshot."

"That's well unlucky."

"Tell me about it. I'm not mad at the guys but if this causes any problems for the team... I'll have no choice but to leave."

"If they make rumours at their school it doesn't really matter that much, so just keep your head down and pretend nothing happened. We only ever see them at competitions."

"It's not that simple we might have to go to a camp with them in the not too distant future."

"Let's not go, I'll try to stop Wataru from going, then Yuta might have to drop out."

"Good plan and I doubt that Yama-chan will want to miss a weekend with me, plus face exposure. If most of us don't go none of us'll have to."

"Yeah, it would give a bad impression of us if we had poor attendance… Does Kiyama know about the information leak?"

"He doesn't but I'll tell him before he makes his mind up about going to that camp."

"Few, so we've sorted the plan out?"

"That sounds right."

"But it all depends on whether they agree."

"True… Have a nice day."

"You too."


	52. Chapter 52

**Bonus chapter for every week of NCS I complete as a volunteer.**

「Yama-chan, I need to talk to you come to the common room toilets at break please, I'll be waiting in the cubicle closest to the wall.｣

 _He hasn't been this horny since we first got together? He better not want to top again that crap hurts..._

「Sure whatever.｣

 _He never shows interest..._

「I'll see you then.｣

 _He's never this cryptic in messages. I need more information or might not go._

「Why near the wall?｣

「Privacy.｣

 _At least he draws the line at exhibitionism. He's so kinky._

「I see.｣

「I need you to be quiet as well. Just as a warning.｣

 _What is he playing at? I'm always silent. He's the one that needs to be more quiet._

「Behave.｣

 _He always says that. I suppose I am quite 'naughty' when we're alone together..._

「Yes master.｣

"Who're you texting with that grin on your face." Endo raises his eyes suggestively.

"Nevermind."

"The more secretive you are the more curious I get."

"Mind your own business."

"I just wanna know how gay relationships work."

"Who said I was in a relationship? And they're the same as all others!"

 _Maybe better, but who's comparing…_

"Stop chatting you two!"

"Sorry, Yamaguchi-sensei."

"There must be some reason that your grades are slipping. I've got my eye on you two. Is that phone under the desk I see?"

"Sorry Miss, I'll put it away."

"You've had enough warnings, I'm confiscating it!" He hands it over.

 _Who knew boys at the school we're doing things this unthinkable! On the premises!? No wonder he's in the bottom set. 'Yama-chan'? 'Master'? Oh, how things have changed since the days of my youth._

"You _will_ stay behind after lesson today!"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I've got a meeting."

"With a girl!?"

"No, it's another boy. What makes you think that?" He realises that he just back chatted his teacher and tries a bit harder to appeal to her. "It's vital that I attend."

"Fine, you're dismissed from detention."

 _It all makes sense now, I've read my fair share of boys love. Plus we are told not to discriminate._

"Really miss? You're so kind." The bell rings.

"Just don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"I'll keep you in mind."

 _All I'm about to do is tell the truth and it's gonna be tough._

"Woah! You got yourself out of that one!" Endo comments as they leave the room.

"My phone's still gone, though."

"You can have it at three p.m."

"Oh yeah and I've had a think about the questions you were asking me."

"So, you are gonna be honest with me?"

"Exactly that, Tanaka likes you back. It's obvious and don't take him for granted, even though _he_ could do so much better than _you_."

"I'd go so far as to say that was a bit brutal, but you're right. ...And besides he'd never confess to me, he's too shy and thinks I'm straight. You can't blame him, even I thought I was, until I understood the meaning of bi."

"When it comes to the likes of you, it's impossible to be both honest and kind. You douchebag! Catch you later I need to take a leak."

 _He's right about me needing to get serious..._

"See ya, bellend!"

Mizusawa unsuspectingly enters the toilet and takes his position, in the cubicle.


	53. Chapter 53

"Did you miss me?"

"Always!"

"It's only Tuesday."

"But I _had_ to see you!"

"I bet you did. You horny little sl*t." He leans him to kiss him, hungrily. reaching down to grope his non-existent boner.

"Stop all that dirty talk, you'll get me going in a second."

"Don't mess about, we don't have long... Unless you want to skip next lesson?" He pushes away the persistent Kiyama, though It's a bit harder than he intended. There is a loud thud and a thoughtful young lad's ears prick up once again.

 _Ah, Yama-chan once you turn him on, it's hard to turn him off._

"Oops, sorry it's not about that. when I said 'talk' I meant _talk_."

"What's so important that you have to tell me now and not later?" He's slightly ticked off which, Mizusawa is pleased about.

"It's about us."

 _So, what? He just decides to hit it and quit it!?_

"Well actually it's more about me but you could be involved?"

 _He better get to the point fast. He just loves drama too much._

"Don't p*ss about, I'm not in the mood!"

 _I wonder what's going on?... First, there was the bang and now a raised voice?... I hope someone's not in trouble._ He approaches the door tentatively. _Two pairs of feet? In one toilet? Maybe I should get a teacher?_

"Keep your voice down! Didn't I warn you over text?"

 _I want him to react to me, but I don't want him to be mad at me._

"Fine but get to the point. I don't have all day."

 _He really changed his tune... I better not draw this out any longer._

"Sorry if you got the wrong idea about this meeting, but the fact is that all my friends know I'm gay…" Kiyama scowls, trying to take the information in, the silence makes Mizusawa worry. "Ryosuke might have seen the picture you gave me as well…"

"What the f...?!" Mizusawa reacts quite quickly and places his hand over his mouth. He was quite relieved that the outburst finally came and had been anticipating it.

Tanaka stops still, once again preparing to intervene.

"Calm down." He says through gritted teeth. "I didn't tell them they just found out."

 _Mizusawa-san?_

"How did they find out?"

 _Kiyama-san?... They do spend a lot of time together, don't they? Now, Hamada can stop trying to work it out_... He leaves.

"They saw me with Wataru behind the bike sheds."

"I'll kill him!"

"No, it's not like that, I was just teaching him how to do anal."

"I'll torture him, then I'll kill him!"

 _Oops, I phrased that a bit wrong... I love seeing how possessive he gets, though!... It makes me feel so warm inside, to see how much he cares about me. I've finally worked out how to push his buttons. How can I get out of this one?... I'm gonna have to tell him._

"Wataru is a virgin."

 _How can he be so nonchalant about him seducing one of my closest friends? I didn't think he was capable of such a thing..._

"So, you took advantage of my friend!?"

 _What now?... I've been exposed... It must be time for them to be exposed I can't let him continue to think like this._

 _So he's just gonna have it away with me and kick me to the kerb!?... Have these past two years, been a big misunderstanding!?... Rather than loving me, was he just building up the confidence to ask to shag me!?... So, what? I alone am not good enough for him!?..._ It seems as though Kiyama is a lot less secure than we thought and much more sensitive than he lets on.

"First of all, I'm flattered that you think I could manage a thing like that and second of all, Wataru and Nippori are in love, I was just giving him tips. But their relationship is a secret!" He looks up at Kiyama.

"Are you crying?"

 _I thought he was mad. He must have been really upset about what he was interpreting the situation to be._

"No, I don't cry…" He says this with a straight face, but doesn't quite make eye contact then clears his throat.

 _I can imagine him convincing anyone besides me that he's ok with that tough guy act… I know him too well… He doesn't have to admit to it if he doesn't want to, I can see right through him..._

"There was something in my eye… Don't ever mess with me like that again." He dries his tears. Mizusawa squeezes him for reassurance.

"Forgive me, all the words just coming out really... Messed up." He whispers into his ear.

"It's an easy mistake to make we were both wrong, in our minds." He shuts the lid on the toilet and sits down. Mizusawa uses his initiative and takes a seat on his lap.

"Don't get too comfortable, I haven't told you the worst part yet."

"That's enough suspense for one day. It's like you _live_ for drama. I'm still not over the fact that you let the secret out."

"Fine but don't get loud again." He nods. "My friends don't know that I'm with you... Or the guys at Washizu." Or so he thought.

"Washizu! Are you kidding me?"

"I wish I was, this is why I never told them in the first place. Hamada's such a loud mouth."

"He spread a rumour?"

"No, no he's not a gossip but he's loud so he reacted and one of them heard."

"That doesn't mean anything yet. They can't be sure unless you admit it."

"I might have already admitted it, by accident... But like I said before your name is not involved."

"It better not be, I'm afraid I'll have to deny it, when the time comes."

"I know, but I've got a plan."

"Let's not turn up to the camp on the next weekend."

"I have to be there, I'm trying to turn my life around."

"But you're so talented, you don't need it."

 _I doubt I'd have any level of skill worth acknowledging if I didn't spend time practicing on my own... If you want to make progress you have to work hard… You don't get what you wish for, you get what you work for. If you train hard, when your skills are finally put to the tests it becomes easier... I know it somehow came naturally to Tsukimori, but he is just one of those irritating guys..._

"I owe it to Yuta, he took in four Yankees which really damaged his reputation."

"What reputation? He only took you in because he needed you."

"I can't let him down as a personal rule. I believe in justice and he deserves the best team he can get."

"How can I argue with that?" He kisses his cheek and they return to lessons.

At the same time, Nippori and Wataru discuss the same topic.

"Let's skip that tumbling thingy the weekend after this one."

"Sure then we can spend more time together!"

"You're so easy to reason with."

"We can tell Yuta next team meeting."


	54. Chapter 54

This time, to avoid prying eyes they arrange to meet on the roof.

"Nice to see you again."

"I wish I could say the same about you."

"I thought we were mates."

"Stop being so touchy, that's lad banter for you."

 _Oh, so he actually warmed up to me quite well?... I didn't think we'd reached that stage yet._

"Get over yourself, you dingleberry." He retorts, getting into the swing of things.

"Ok, so we're cool, let's get down to business."

"You seem a little bit more keen than our last session."

"Oh yeah, I want this to happen. You know? I've already got a date in mind."

 _He's quite eager, he's going to have to hone that enthusiasm._

"You've got to be gentle."

"That's why I'm here to learn."

 _Maybe I_ _ **will**_ _call you sensei, if you teach me something I don't already know..._

"I see." He sits on a chair that had been left there, assuming a condescending position of crossed legs, creating the image of a professional. One could almost imagine him with elbow patches, a pipe and glasses.

"What would you like to know, young one?" Wataru scowls. "I'm kidding." He sits in a more informal position.

"That's what I thought!" He snarls. "You're only three months older than me."

"So you got my friend request?"

"I did,"

"Ok, good now ask away."

"I don't know what to ask there are so many things that confuse me. All I know is what goes where, but that's only just. Can you start from the beginning? I was having such a hard time believing it before..."

 _...I thought Nippori was leaving me._

"That I didn't really listen."

"Good, that gives me some direction for our lessons. We can start with the basics, today will be vocabulary."

"Good, because that confuses me a lot too."

"Do you know that thing between your legs?"

"My ochinchin?"

"Yeah, that's not a very mature word. There are a lot of words the rest of the people our age use and I think you should probably start using."

"Give me some examples."

"Ok, just listen and pick one you feel comfortable with."

"That doesn't seem too hard,"

 _But I wonder why there are so many words._

"Penis is the scientific word but their are a lot of slang words. Cock, dick, prick, bellend, knob, chinpo,"

"Can I just stop you there, that just sounds like a lot of gibberish, if I stop saying ochinchin I'm gonna have to explain to Nippori."

… _And I get the feeling that he doesn't like changing to meet other people's standards. But I like him that way. Just because it's what they do, it doesn't mean it has to automatically become what we do, I wish there were more people that were proud of being unique.._.

"Ok, what about those two round things beneath your ochinchin?"

"You mean my kintama?"

"Yep, The science word for those is testicles. More common words are, nads, knackers, bollocks, nuts, balls,"

"I've heard a few of those before, and I don't like them."

 _What a stubborn pupil, I should just name something he can't._

"Please consider using them at least with me." He shrugs. "Ok, what do you call the hair on your 'kintama'?"

"Nippori doesn't have any, you know?" He muses out loud. Mizusawa chokes and loosens his collar.

 _There's a new detail!... Not that it's any of my business, I suppose there was never a reason for him to tell me._ Wataru continues to search his memory for a name. Rolling his eyes back as if it will actually help him to look into his brain and find the non-existent memory.

"I don't have a name for it."

"It's called pubic hair or pubes for short."

"Ah! You just taught me something."

"I'm glad I finally got through to you."

 _Now I know he can be receptive, I'll teach a few more alternatives._

"What do you call that," He points and Wataru looks in the direction of the point but what he's talking about is not clear. "The thing between your legs and back."

"I call that a bum."

This language really doesn't suit his face. It's weird coming out of him. But so cute on Pokei-chan, I'm definitely biased…

"Stop being so innocent it's creepy coming out of your mouth." Wataru grabs his collar.

"Do you wanna say that again!?"

"There's no point threatening me, because I know you can't fight me."

"Are you this rude to Kiyama?"

"Are you kidding? I'm worse to him because he's not a touchy feely as you. If I tease him, he just finds it funny and if I get mad at him, he just tries to get out of it by distracting me."

"He makes you mad?"

"He's the only person who can. If he does something I don't like, he'll know about it, because he'll go in my bad books."

"You're such a meanie."

"Gosh Wataru, what did I tell you?"

"I'm not a fast learner so unless you tell me things more than once I won't remember."

"You need to learn to listen."

"If you going to be like this I can leave anytime."

"Yeah, you can leave but you won't learn anything. How would Nippori feel?"

"Fine I'll stay because I care about him but you're annoying."

"I know I am, thanks for the compliment."

"I didn't compliment you,"

"Well that's what it felt like."

 _The gruff aggressive types just aren't for me… I can just see us two getting into conflicts because of a personality clash… I like the obedient agreeing types… Spending time with Wataru has the opposite effect to Nippori now, I appreciate Yama-chan more..._

"Ok, back to the lesson, I think the scientific word for that is gluteus maximus but no-one calls it that. Popular words are arse,"

"Nah, I'll just say ketsu, teach me something I don't know again."

 _What a disruptive student!_

"Whatever, but this is your last word. What do you call the white stuff you have and Nippori doesn't?"

"How do you know?"

"He told me about you and him under the table."

"So, it's your fault he stopped doing stuff in school?"

"I only told him it had to be private."

"So, it's fine if no one can see?"

"Pretty much."

"Good because it didn't end there, we did something here on the roof too." Mizusawa gasps. "No one could see…" He takes a minute to recall, having had his memory jogged by the digression. "He called it milk."

"You couldn't be further from the truth, the science word is sperm and slang words are, spaf, jizz, cum, cream..."

"I don't get it. Why are there so many words? I'll never remember them."

"Pick one."

"Did you say 'spaf'? That sounds funny."

"So, will it stick in your mind?"

"Maybe... There was 'jizz' too wasn't there?"

"Good you've learnt something and that concludes our lesson for today."

"You've missed something. What do you call it when your ochinchin gets hard?"

 _At this point it's hard to find his ignorance funny, it's kind of cute… At least it would be if he were my type..._

"That would be an erection."

"Ericson? How does it work?"

"An _erection_ is where the penis fills with blood."

"It sounds a lot grosser than it looks. What are the other words?"

"Bokki, boner, hardon, wood, morning wood, that's only in the morning… Erm stiffy, I can't think of any others but if it's half hard you call it a semi. I suppose you'll also what to know what that think you taught Nippori to do with his hand is called."

"Eeeeeh? What are you talking about?"

"Before the power cut."

"How much detail does he go into with you!?"

"Enough."

 _More like not enough._

"I know what you're on about now, yeah you can tell me if you like."

"The act is called masturbation and the verb is to masturbate. Street words are more simple like, Onani, wank, fap... "

"I think I'll just stick with onani and bokki thanks. I don't see where I'd ever need to use them, though."

"Just with me is fine, since I prefer them." Wataru nods obediently.

"Woah, you taught me a lot today, see you tomorrow Mizusawa-sensei."


	55. Chapter 55

"How's aniki's attitude towards sex? I feel like he reacted to it worse than I did, this weekend."

"He says he's got a date planned but he's not it a hurry."

"It's all thanks to your lessons then."

"Actually, we're going really slowly."

"Other than the fact that he knows when he wants to do it, we haven't discussed it."

"I'm not it a hurry either, there's no point if it's not fun."

"I wish I'd thought like that."

"Didn't you enjoy your first time?"

"Remember how you wanted to be a top and I laughed at you?"

"Yeah, how could I forget?"

That was harsh, it hurt my feelings, because I looked up to him... Not that I don't look up to him now.

"Imagine finding out that you were thought of as a bottom, on the day you lose your virginity."

"What's virginity?"

"It's more of a girl thing, but the basic premise is that a virgin has never had sex."

"So that's me?" He frowns.

 _More labels?..._

"Something like that."

"What's the difference?"

"You would be called dōtei because you're a boy and a girl would be called shojo."

"Eeeeeeh? So what you're saying is girls have sex?"

"I'm saying exactly that."

"Even though they don't have..." He gestures.

"That's sexist."

"Is that what you call it with two girls?"

"No, it's sexist to think you can't have sex without a penis."

"Can you explain sexist?"

"Discrimination against someone because of their gender."

"Does that make me sexist?"

"Not unless you think women are less than men."

"Never! I wouldn't exist without my mum, as if a man could go through what they do. I find it hard to be mistaken for one because of the way they're treated. There couldn't possibly be a type of person I have more respect for. Even just a small amount of exposure to the attention they get caused me to break down into tears, with my little sister this weekend."

"I'm glad to hear it... Not the crying part, the respect part." He adds.

"Well you know it's a tough life having to deal with being objectified, I just dread to think what image they had of me in their minds before they did what they did. You know? I'm still a person, gender and location don't matter. It's abusive and I lose a little bit more faith in humanity every time I'm targeted. I have to say it's really opened my eyes to how much of a low-life it's possible to be."

"Ok, that's enough depressing talk, men can be objectified too."

"By other men?"

"Women too..."

"You're right, I'm fed up with this topic, I just wish society was less rubbish."

"Don't we all?"

"There's only one way to change it and that's by starting with yourself."

"Me?"

"There will only be a change if we all change, but it has to be based on your own will."

"If only everyone was as wise as you."

 _It seems as though living a life where he couldn't be affected by greed or lust has really shaped him into an exceptional person..._

"I'm not _that_ smart I just look around and see what needs to be done."

"I couldn't have said it better myself, you're modest too, like I said never change because you're perfect, I stand by that. Not that I've ever doubted it." Nippori hugs Mizusawa goodbye, in front of the primary school gates and they part ways.


	56. Chapter 56

**Ok, call it a triple because that last one was really short and I really enjoyed the last night on my second week of residential.**

Later that night around the dinner table.

"Onee-chan, I saw onii-chan hug someone in front of the school gate."

"Oh really? Who was she? Do I know her?" The third youngest asks. ( Let's call him, Otouto-san)

"It was a boy."

 _As I expected he's gay, I'm so lucky!... It's not as if it wasn't obvious... None of my friends are as close with their older brothers as me. Teehee! They were so jealous when I told them about the makeover yesterday. I should have forwarded the photo to myself so I could show them my work of art..._

"Onee-chan!"

"Eh?"

"It was a boy."

"So, why would he hug a girl? What's so special about him hugging his friend?"

 _His special friend..._

"I thought you'd be mad, since you chased him out of the house with a frying pan."

"Mizusawa!? I'll kill him!" She stands up and looks in the top drawer, presumably for a sharp knife. "Keiji doesn't even like him."

"I do like him, that's why I hugged him." She turns around, incandescent with rage, knife in hand.

"Where does he live?"

"I don't know, I've never been to his house. I think it's somewhere near the primary school."

"That's good enough! Where's my coat?"

"You're not actually gonna kill him are you?"

 _She can't go to prison, I'd be letting mum down if she did, I want her to be able to get a quality career and support herself. I need to calm her down._

"Why are you so mad?"

"Mizusawa seems a little bit shady, to me."

"Is that a good enough reason to kill him?"

"I was only going to threaten him, to keep his hands off you."

"I hugged him first. I'm sure we've never touched before today."

 _At least he has some restraint..._

"I'm glad to hear that, but why did you hug him?"

"It's because he said one of the kindest things anyone has ever said to me."

 _So he was flattering my brother?_

"What did he say to you?"

"I can quote it, if you like?"

"That would be brilliant."

"He said 'like I said never change because you're perfect,'"

"I'm gonna need some context with that one."

"Why? Don't you get that I hugged him because he was nice to me?"

"I get that part but why did he compliment you?"

"I was just talking about how I would like to change the world, somehow."

"Why did he say 'like I said'?"

"If I remember correctly, he called me 'perfect' before."

"This sounds fishy." Otouto-san says.

"You can pipe down! You're not old enough to know what's going on."

"I'm in middle school too, you know!"

"What isn't he old enough to know?"

"Something you _are_ old enough to know that's why I'm going to kill Mizusawa."

"Not this again, I thought you calmed down."

"I won't be calm until I know you're safe."

"What from?"

 _He's too naive, I can barely even speak to him..._

"Can't you see that Mizusawa is trying to seduce you!?"

"What's a 'seduce'?"

"Come to my bedroom, for a second."

"Ok, are you gonna tell me?"

"Of course I am, it's about time you knew."

"I'm so confused about how this whole other part of a hug can exist."

"I bet you are, now sit down this is going to be a long talk."

"That's fine, I like to learn and I've got time before work."

"Seduction, is where you try to tempt or charm somebody into having sex."

"You don't need to worry, that's never happened to me before. I don't think I'm ever going to be seduced."

 _I had to ask Wataru and he still doesn't seem sure. Maybe I'll have to seduce him?_

"Do you even know what sex is?"

"Yeah I learnt just under two months ago, Mizusawa taught me."

"Did he now?"

"Yeah, I was really freaked out by it and then you chased him out of the house."

 _So he was planning something Etchi? At least my brother knows how to take his time._

"You don't plan to do that with him do you?"

"No, never!"

 _I'm so glad! I don't have to worry about him. What was I thinking?_

"OK, that was a good talk."

 _I'm so lucky I don't have to explain that to him. I've still got another question._

"Would you do that with a girl?"

"That is a definite no, I don't understand girls."

What can you possibly do with a triangle?

"As I suspected, most boys don't have a clue either."

 _It is certainly difficult to read his sexuality. I was so certain at dinner but, what he just said could apply to any guy._

"That took nowhere near as long as you said it would."

"Good short and sweet I like it that way."

 _I can at least thank Mizusawa for teaching him that. I dodged a bullet with that one._


	57. Chapter 57

**NCS finished this weekend so its going to be another triple.**

Nippori meets Mizusawa at the primary school gates.

"My sister really doesn't like you."

"I get where she's coming from."

"Maybe you do, but I had to convince her not to murder you last night."

"She wouldn't do that."

"That's what you think, she was waving a knife around and trying to find out your address."

"I still get why she doesn't like me, it was only a threat anyway."

"That's what she said, but before I calmed her down she was all like 'I'll kill him, I'll kill him'."

"What on earth got her so mad at me."

"She found out that we hugged yesterday."

"I see, she's definitely worried about you."

 _She has every right to be, with the sorts of things that run through my head… I make my own self sick sometimes..._

"I think she said it was something about you trying to seduce me."

"Ok, the main problem here is that she doesn't trust me and thinks I'll take advantage of you."

"I've reassured her now, don't worry. She was actually wondering if I wanted to do it with you, or even worse with a girl."

"So you haven't come out yet?"

"Where from?"

"The closet."

"What are you on about?"

"It's a metaphor, when you're in the closet you hide the fact that you're gay. I'm out with everyone in my house but I keep it secret at school for Kiyama's sake."

 _At least used to be secret…_

"But I am out, I'm not hiding anything."

"Your sister doesn't know does she?"

"I think she has an idea,"

"From what you've been telling me, I can tell she doesn't know."

"Should I let her know?"

"No, you should use it to your advantage, judging by the way she treated me if she knew, she wouldn't want you to be alone with any boys. Even Wataru."

"I won't lie if she asks, because I trust her, but if it's better that she doesn't know she can find out when I move out. Then she has no control over where I go."

"When do you plan to move out?"

"I don't plan to move out until I'm married."

 _How sweet!... He already knows he wants to marry Wataru?_

"That's super-duper far in the future isn't it?."

"I'm not in a hurry to leave."

"I can tell, wouldn't you prefer it if she knew sooner rather than later?"

"Yeah, of course I would!... But I don't wanna lose my freedom, like you said."

"It is better to be able to operate under the guise of a straight person. I wouldn't be allowed within ten miles of Kiyama's house if 'they' knew what we actually get up to… The fact that most people assume we're straight until told otherwise may actually be a gift, unless you were hoping for them to confess to you."

"I kind of feel bad now that I know I'm deceiving my sister and people around me."

"Trust me it's better than being monitored. What if she stopped your sleepovers because she thought you were 'being taken advantage of'?"

"I don't wanna think about that."

 _The faster I tell her, the faster I get this off my conscience._

"I wanna come out so badly. I wish you'd never told me about it."

"Don't let it get you down, as long as you know what you're doing makes you happy."

"It does prevent restrictions, so I can't argue with that." They move on to their lessons.


	58. Chapter 58

During period one Ninomiya-sensei interrupts the lesson with a call for Nippori. He's worried.

 _I hope nothing's gone wrong with dad's business or anything like that again. I need to get back to my lesson soon. I think I probably shouldn't be having any more time off this close to exams... He goes into the office and picks up the phone._

"Hello is this Nippori speaking? This was the only number on the emergency contact list that worked."

"This is Nippori, is everything ok?"

"Well there has been a bug going around and your son seems to have picked it up."

"Sorry, he's actually my little brother."

"Are you over sixteen?"

"Well yeah but..."

"That's great, we're going to need you to come and collect him within the next half hour."

"I'll be there as soon as I can." He lets the teacher know the situation and is given permission to leave. Over the next two days, he has to take time off to take care of his brother. He only leaves to go to work in the evening (when his sister can take over) and to drop off the youngest sister. The quality of his care helps to promote a fast recovery. He thinks it's great because it lets him get back on with his studies.

"I'm so glad to be back Mizusawa-sensei I have dealt with enough buckets of snot and other mucus to last a lifetime."

"I can imagine, not that I want to."

"What did I miss?"

"Nothing much, it's been pretty calm since you left."

"That's good to hear, how have lessons with Wataru been?"

"He's learning quite quickly."

*****FLASHBACK*****

"Are you ever gonna come on time to one of these lessons?"

"Probably not."

"I like your honesty. Anyway, we looked at the preparation of the anus orally yesterday and today it's..."

"Sex!?"

"No,"

"This is such a long process, I wanna do it the weekend after this one."

"Today's lesson is about fingering and lubrication methods."

"I'm listening."

"Having completed analingus,"

"Can you stop using big words?"

 _As much as he acts like one he's not a real teacher and if he wants me to learn anything, he's going to have to say things I can understand._

"Fine, after you've licked Nippori's arse you get the lube," He simplifies it. "See through gel stuff, and put in on your fingers. The next step is to put one in." He holds up his index finger to demonstrate before adding. "Really slowly."

"Nippori already did that to me once."

"How was it?"

"I felt great,"

"Good, well the difference with this is that it's to stretch, but there's nothing stopping you from stimulating too. Once you've got a finger in there will be this bumpy spot, the prostate and that's the part where you wanna put the most pressure. On a different note, the aim is to stop anal from hurting as much as it would if you weren't patient like I'm telling you to be."

"Actually, I can be patient, if I have to be."

"Good, like I said start with one, as slow as possible, then when he gets used to it you can move your finger, not too fast, though. Once that's sorted you can increase the speed and add another in the same way. The most you should have in at once is three."

"Then..." He urges Mizusawa to move the explanation on.

"You lube up your penis and the rest is for another time,"

"Aww but it's the weekend after the meeting with Yuta tomorrow, can't I have a bonus?"

"That's just tough."

*****END OF FLASHBACK*****

"If only he paid that much attention to his other subjects."

"If you're anything like me, you'll have a trick up your sleeves to convince him."

"Like what?"

"Sex."

"Sex?"

"That's right sex!"

"How does that work?"

"You say 'Let's do it after you graduate.' Then he passes all his exams and you do it."

"Is it that simple?"

"I like to think so… Wataru even asked me to buy some more lube before next weekend."

"Tee hee, I'm glad he wants it, that'll make him work harder!"

"Let's hope he does." They go to tutorial.


	59. Chapter 59

**Because I managed my predicted grades for my AS levels this also marks the start of a** ⭐ **bonus week** ⭐ **.**

That lunch time. The gym is full of students and one of the girls, in particular, is keeping and eye on what the team is doing. "Everyone going to the rhythmic gymnastics taster weekend please raise your hand,"

 _Why are Mizusawa and Kiyama going?... I thought we had a plan…_

"Wataru?"

"I'm not going to do that thing Yuta,"

"Yeah me neither."

 _I can't have that red head not go, I think he's a ringleader for those guys… They could all drop out and then no Hino… Lucky for me he's easy to manipulate... I wonder if he's into me? Who am I kidding? Of course, he is!_ She walks over, confident that she'll get her way.

"Lets all go together!"

"I'm not that into losing my weekend."

 _With Nippori… I've got **big** plans._

"I'll be lonely without you."

"M-m-m-me?"

 _Why would she want to talk to me?... I'm not even her friend..._

"Yes you!"

"Fine, I'll be there..."

 _My plans!… I'll have to wait even longer._

 _What a pushover, I suppose I might as well go with him._

"I'll be there too."

 _I need to have a word with him but I'll leave it until Saturday. This could be the straight thing Mizusawa was talking about..._

 _I've got so much control, boys couldn't be easier to work out._ She skips back to her practice with surprisingly, a clear conscience.

"You're easily manipulated aren't you, Wataru?"

"Eh? What are you on about, Ryosuke?"

"She did the same thing before when you accepted the pink practice outfits."

"Did she? I didn't notice."

"Do you like her?" He whispers teasingly.

"No, why would I like her?"

 _We've never had a proper conversation, she's a girl and the most important thing is that I love Nippori._

"That's what they all say." Wataru fans his palm with out-stretched fingers to signal his disagreement.

"So, it's agreed that the whole team will be there! This is going to be well worth your while!"

"Yeah I can't wait!" Satoshi confirms.

"That makes one of us." Ryosuke remarks.

 _Maybe he should be a less disruptive. Poor Takenaka-senpai, tumbling is his passion…_

"We are all entitled to our own opinions, but it doesn't make them right." Satoshi quite correctly suggests.

"Well done!" Nippori whispers while patting him on the back, gaining new respect for Satoshi's bravery as he not only stands up in the face of adversity but has the kind of motivation -despite his condition- that none of the others could understand. He sympathises with Satoshi as a person that also doesn't get a lot of respect.

 _I'd love to be his friend, apart from Okaasan he's the nicest person I know… I just don't want him to be alienated by his friends..._

"That was nothing, I just wanted to stand up for the captain, I really respect him as a senpai."

"It's nice having a good role model isn't it?"

"Yeah, absolutely and when you end up on the wrong path, all you need is a little bit of a push in the right direction, whether it's a punishment for being bad or reward for being good."

"Do you do law or politics or something like that?"

"No no, that's just common sense."

"So, you can make someone achieve by rewarding them?"

"They have to know they're getting one so they have something to work for."

"I see so a person might not improve unless there is and incentive?"

"Pretty much, if there is no motivation, you have to make one."

"I'm gonna see if I can put that into practice, wish me luck."

"Let me know how it goes on."

"Absolutely." The tumbling session ends and Nippori spends that night packing his overnight bag, completing his homework and organising dinner for the next night. He finishes work early that Saturday and practically runs to Wataru's house when to his horror he finds that Wataru is ill.


	60. Chapter 60

"Hi, did you hear about the bug that been going 'round?"

"Yeah my little brother caught it, I had to take care of him for a few days but he's better now."

"I'm glad to hear that, are you ok? You're not ill are you?"

 _Maybe I should send him home?_

"Little kids are full of germs, that's why I never get ill, my immune system's just used to it."

"You're lucky,"

"Is Wataru ill?"

"Yeah, do you want a bit of late lunch?"

"I'm fine thanks, the lady at the market lets me chose from the reduced to clear bentos."

"That's nice of her."

"I think so too… " His eyes keep flitting from her to Wataru's door.

 _He really is hopeless at hiding his feelings._

"Do you want to see how Wataru is?"

"More than anything."

"I love how close you two are! Go on! I won't keep you any longer, I need to get back to work."

"Thanks Okaasan!" He jets off to Wataru's room and finds him deep in sleep.

 _Oh, he's asleep... That's not a problem I can just wait until he's ready to talk… I'm sure he'd feel better if he woke up to a clean room!… I can tell he's not well enough to do it himself. This isn't going to take long, definitely nowhere near as long as those English essays, I probably would have been able to go to bed earlier if they didn't start giving me two a week…_ He yawns _, It's only four I can't be feeling tired this early… I think I'll take a nap with niichan just after I fold this shirt… Few I've finished, that calls for a short break, twenty minutes should do…_ He strips down to his t-shirt and underwear before getting under the covers. _Woah, nii-chan's really warm…_ He begins to drift into unconsciousness as a bleary-eyed Wataru pulls him into a hug.

"Oh! Nii-chan? Are you awake?" He turns to face Wataru.

"Almost," He coughs.

"If I remember properly you should try not to use your throat too much."

"That's ok, I'll use my hand," He croaks.

"We can't do that, not when you're sick, I don't feel like it." (Mode of the minute- concern for Wataru.)

"I'm glad, I don't feel like it either."

"I thought as much,"

"Do you wanna, talk about anything?"

"Yeah, I could talk to you all day, you make me feel so relaxed. I really glad we're _friends_ above all else,"

"Yeah, because we already understand each other."

"You know how there are straight people?"

"Boys that like girls?" He grimaces at the thought.

"Yeah them, did you know that until you tell people, they assume you're straight?"

"Why do you care what they think?"

"I don't but..."

"You're mine."

"And you're mine, but..."

"You shouldn't have to tell people, it's not like you want to replace me. The less people that know, the better,"

 _I already don't like the way Mizusawa looks at you._

"You mean you don't want other boys to know incase they try to take me away from you?"

"Pretty much," He puts a hand on either side of Wataru's head and holds it still as he plants a kiss on his forehead.

"You're so cute!~" Wataru blushes as Nippori pinches his cheeks. "Especially when you're sick! Is the cold medicine getting to you? That's so outrageous! The only thing that can separate me from you is death."

"Don't joke about that."

"I'm serious."

"But, you said death with a smile on your face."

"Sorry, I just can't get over your reaction. I only wanted to tell people because I feel like I'm deceiving them."

"It's none of their business, I'm the only one that needs to know you love me." Nippori nods but looks into the distance thinking of how hard he's going to find keeping it a secret from his sister. Wataru notices and slips the middle knuckle of his index finger under Nippori's chin and slowly tilts up his head to meet his gaze. "We don't have to prove anything to anyone, as long as we're happy together." He reciprocates Nippori's forehead kiss, except this time it's on the mouth. They edge closer together.

"Mizusawa said we were better off waiting too, because people would treat us differently."

"Why?"

"I sort of get it when I imagine how I'd feel about letting my sister be in a room with a straight boy behind closed doors." Wataru nods sympathetically. "There would be a lot of restrictions on the time we spend together,"

"So the only benefit is that you can be honest with your sister?"

"When you put it that way you make me feel silly. I'm never going to lie to her."

"Fair enough."

"But, I'm not going to bring it up."

T _he faster she knows the better. I just need to work something out where she can know, or that everyone can know… Without any negative effects…_

"So, we're agreed. It's not a secret, but no one needs to know."

"That perfect but do you know what I could really do with right now?"

"Do you have a bokki?"

"Bokki?"

"Is your ochinchin standing up? You can call it a boner too, I think that word sounds funny!"

"Boner?...No, I just want a nap, twenty minutes tops, then we can do something else."

"Yeah, cough medicine makes me really drowsy. I could do with another twenty minutes, myself. I might've stayed in bed all day if you didn't turn up."

"I know you would've." The two drift off into a delightful undisturbed sleep curled around each other. Until…


	61. Chapter 61

Natsuko stands outside, "Oi Wataru, you haven't eaten anything all day, it's not like you…" She knocks and gets no answer "Time for tea."

 _I'll just have to go in._

"Come on now, it's seven!" She opens the door.

 _Awww~ How sweet? Who knew how gentle Wataru could be in his sleep... He'd probably flip if he realised... He never used to be this clingy. They look angelic together, I should get a picture!... Nah there's no way I'd ever forget this._

"It's time to wake up!"

"Eeeeeeeehhhhh? Mornin'."

 _Mum!?_ He not only releases Nippori from his clutches but completely rejects him, booting him on to the floor with a thud.

"N-n-n-nniiii-chaaann?" He questions, half asleep, before face-planting on the floor. "Itaaaaaaiiiiiii!"

"Are you ok Nippori-chan?" She reacts quite quickly swooping in to help a tearful Nippori up.

"Sorry, Nippori!"

 _Oops, maybe I over reacted... How would a 'straight' person react to waking up with such a beautiful guy in his arms?_

"You need to stop being so rough, with him, He's always getting injured when he comes here." She checks to see if he's ok.

"I'm fine, I didn't fall far."

"You seem fine to me as well, I'm impressed at your fast recovery,"

"Thanks, Okaasan. Is it really seven already?"

"Yeah, you can borrow Wataru's house coat, if you like before you have tea,"

"I'm not wearing much am I? I think Wataru's got a temperature since he's so warm." She walks over and places a palm on his forehead.

 _That's a bit more than warm._

She is concerned and adopts the caring voice she usually only uses with Nippori.

"You've been asleep all day and not eaten anything, I bought ice cream for pudding."

"That's my favourite food!" They both say in unison as Wataru springs out of bed and beats the others to the table.

 _If it wasn't for the temperature I'd say he was milking it, with all these sudden bursts of energy._ Natsuko and Nippori follow.

"Oh, mum I just remembered, we're going away next weekend."

"This is the first I've heard of it."

That reminds me, I've got a thing too...

"Yeah, it's this tumbling retreat thing at the local university, just for a night."

"I'm glad you two have plans,"

"Are you gonna be busy?"

"I'm taking that weekend off,"

"Why?"

"I'm going to the onsen?"

"With a friend?"

"Exactly, just a friend."

 _I hope he's not getting jealous about someone else besides him getting my attention… Unless he's trying to be protective?… He can be sensitive sometimes, that's sweet… Though, I'd never consider anything more than friendship with Tashio._

"I'm glad to hear that,"

"I don't need you to take care of me thanks,"

"There are some perverted people out there." He says this with genuine concern based on the truths he's been recently made aware of.

"Oh? And you know from experience, do you?" She says jokingly.

"I just don't like the way that Shigeo guy looks at you." Natsuko is on the verge of flipping a table.

 _Nah, it's not worth the mess._

"So you think it's your responsibility to protect me?" She glares and he shakes his head pleadingly, wondering what he's done wrong. "Because I'm a woman!?" She springs to her feet and gets into and offensive pose.

"No!" He cowers, plotting an escape. But it takes him some time.

"Excuse us Nippori-chan, I'm just going to have to slap some sense into Wataru." She says calmly.

 _One… two… three… Anger management techniques have never worked for Wataru and it's no wonder, when you're angry, you're angry!..._ She cracks her knuckles menacingly.

"Wait mum, I can explain."

"I'm listening."

"Boys can be taken advantage of too."

"I'm so sorry…" She walks up to him and pulls him in for a hug. It would be enough to suffocate most others, but her grip is only so tight because this is a rare occasion, though hugs have become more frequent recently, they'll never lose their value.

 _I don't like seeing my mum cry, this is the worst feeling I've ever had. She seemed unbreakable…_ He hugs back. _Before she got the business and we couldn't afford anything I believed her when she said she ate 'nails for breakfast, without any milk'... Even though now I know she probably just starved to protect me… I think the reason I've never seen my grandparents is because she had no choice but to cope alone… That's real strength!_

"Not my precious son!..." They slowly collapse to the ground in and uncoordinated heap. "You weren't being over protective, you just didn't want me to go through what you did…" Wataru gives her a puzzled look as he tries to work out what he missed. "You're so brave."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes you are, I can't believe you've only just told me."

"What did I tell you?"

"Has something happened that made you more anxious about me being alone with Tashio?"

 _I found out men can like women..._

"Don't use his first name that's gross..."

 _And there I was thinking we were having a heart to heart._

"...Nothing's happened to me,..."

 _Thank God!_

"That happened to Nippori."

 _He's been quite quiet for a while… I hope he wasn't worried that we were actually gonna fight._ His eyes flick over to Nippori. He's curled into a defensive ball, face buried in his lap, Wataru's expression changes.


	62. Chapter 62

"Nippori!?" She follows Wataru's line of sight to see what he's fixated on. Noticing the telltale rise and fall of his shoulders, she flies over to Nippori, maternal instincts giving her the superhuman abilities to almost break light speed. "Are you alright, sweetheart?" He doesn't say anything but she is patient, placing a reassuring hand on his back.

 _This does make a lot more sense, I knew I never raised Wataru to be vulnerable… That was really hard to believe!_

"Sorry Okaasan," He lifts his snotty, tear streaked face. "I don't need to cry about this again..."

"You can cry as much as you need to."

Wataru senses he doesn't have a place in this situation and decides to help himself to some ice cream.

 _I should probably take some paracetamol too_. His sore throat starts to get to him after all the talking. _I could do with going back to bed soon…_ He returns to the table noticing that Nippori has his head on his mother's lap but hasn't quite recovered. He yawns and looks at the clock before digging into the mountain of ice cream.

"It's my fault,"

"No, it's never your fault."

"I work at a host club..."

"It doesn't mean they can do what they want."

"But I put myself in that situation."

"No, that's your body and no one has the right to lay their hands on it unless you want them to. No matter how much they pay you or how much you _think_ you like them."

 _I'm sure this is something you should have been told, that sort of ignorance can only I need to more issues…_

"I get really good tips, you're the first person that's told me to quit. I'm sure if they didn't think I was a hostess they'd leave me alone." He sits up and gets a tissue.

"Don't you mean host?"

"No, they call me 'nee-chan' when they want me to go to their table."

"I see,"

"I didn't think you'd be surprised..."

"I'm shocked but..."

"You get where they're coming from?" He stands to leave.

"Of course not… Where are you going?"

 _Oh is he upset again? I thought he just calmed down… I still wanna go back to bed._

"I'll be back in a sec."

"Wataru! You got ice cream? How can you be so insensitive?"

"I've known about this for weeks."

"And you let him keep going to work in that awful place?"

"He needs the money,"

"I know but still, it's not worth it."

"What else can he do?"

"He can work for me."

"You don't need any more staff, at least that's what you said when I asked last summer."

"I can't benefit from nepotism, if my employees as lazy as you are.."

"I'd have a comeback, if I knew what that meant." Nippori returns with his phone.

"Do you remember this picture?"

"Your little sister?" Wataru stifles a laugh.

"No, it's not."

"Maybe I need a new prescription on my glasses, can I have another look?"

"I still haven't managed to change my screen saver back..."

"She _is_ beautiful!"

"Do you remember how I told you this was a prank by my little sister?"

"Yeah, but I don't get what..." She looks closer, over the lens of her glasses and then at Nippori, then at the photo. She has a sudden realisation.

 _No wonder I saw an image of his mother…_

"It's me, sorry I didn't tell you before, I thought you could tell… She put that stuff on my face when I was a sleep..."

"You don't have to work at the host club anymore."

"I do, I need the money."

"You can work for me!"

"No, are you for real?" His face lights up as he hugs Natsuko earnestly.

"You're not crying again are you?" Wataru interrupts, unable to contain his disappointment.

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all and for your information, these are happy tears." See glares at him.

"Thank you so much Okaasan?"

"You're welcome. You can quit the club on Monday and start working here after your exams have finished," She senses that he's worried and works out a quick solution. "I'll help you to make up the difference."

"No, I can't accept that, not without earning it. There are only three more weeks, I've already taken enough from you."

"You can't!"

"I have to."

"You're unbelievably brave. I hope you take care of yourself."

"I'll try… I'd grow a beard if I could." He jokes.

"You're not the only one who can't." She winks, hinting at Wataru

"Yeah, my mum'll never have a beard as long as mine." They all burst into laughter finally able to move on from serious subjects. "Oh, yeah and I've finished the ice cream so..."

"Why can't I have nice things?"

"Soz'..." She gives him a clip around the ear.

"Bugger off! You cheeky so and so. It's late now, get to bed."

"Fine, I was tired anyway, come on Nippori,"

"It's only eight. What about 'One piece'?"

 _When did he get so argumentative? That's my job._

"Are you really gonna make me storm out dramatically alone?"

"The momentum's gone, you've lost this one." He sits back down defeatedly.

"Well don't forget that I know where you live." He adds.

"I'm so scared. Why don't you run along and cry to your mummy?"

"I can't believe you've still got no sympathy, I'm sick you know?" Nippori lets out a giggle.

"You two are like me and my sister. I never win with her either."

 _I suppose that just about sums us both up since I'm still so young, the dynamic between us has never been as formal or as serious as it is with other parents... Most people my age are just having kids… I've never called him a mistake and I never will… I can't stand the thought of a life without him I've known him for more than half my life now, and otherwise, it would have definitely been boring._

 _I don't see her as a sister but she's way more of a friend than most parents, I couldn't cope with someone who was bossy or serious... The thought makes me feel even more ill._

They continue with their normal activities it the living room, until Natsuko interrupts.

"Ok, your program's finished it's my time now,"

"That's fine, I think we'll have a shower."

"Whatever just don't wreck the boiler this time."

"Understood."


	63. Chapter 63

"Eeeeh? Keiji-kun you don't have a Bokki!?"

"I'm not horny."

"Since when?"

 _But I'm naked?_ Wataru feels as if he has lost his ability to excite Nippori.

"Since I found out that you're ill."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I don't feel like it, I just want you to get better."

"So you're not bored of me?"

"I'll never be bored of you."

"Thank goodness."

"Why don't we _just_ shower this time?" They get in the shower and shut the door behind them.

 _I couldn't be happier to hear those words, my head is banging... Maybe I should have taken Ibuprofen instead?..._

"It just shows that you don't have to do Etchi stuff all the time to be happy together."

"Exactly what kind of relationship is that?"

"I'm glad we can just stay in the same place together and _be_. If that makes sense."

"Yeah, like this." Wataru takes Nippori into his arms and they stand together, as one, eyes closed and the rest of the outside world just melts away, almost ceasing to be in their own bubble of existence.

In Wataru's bedroom, after the non-erotic shower.

 _I hope I'm not letting him down by being ill._

"Are you sure you don't want to do anything Etchi?" He stands there, nude, checking Nippori's face for any signs of his emotions differing from what he says, before getting into bed. Nippori joins him, also nude.

"Yes."

"What if I said I wanted to?"

"Still no."

"Few, I just had to check... Can we do that thing, where we just lay here and talk again?"

"Yeah! There was something I wanted to ask you about."

"Ok, go ahead."

"Why did you change your mind because of that girl?"

"She's the only person outside of tumbling that acknowledges my existence and doesn't want to kill me."

"Are you talking about Akabane? Obviously, she wasn't around before, when you ruled the school."

 _I wouldn't call intimidation 'ruling' but if he sees it that way..._

"Oh? So you think she'd ignore me if she knew my reputation?

"Something like that."

"Well, in that case, I can't let her down... At least I've given a good impression to one person at this school."

"You don't owe her anything."

"Are you jealous she gives me attention and not you?"

"Don't use the bond I have with Okaasan against me... If you were jealous why didn't you just tell me?"

"Sorry, but I knew you needed her…"

"Aw, that's nice of you. Fine, we can go, so I can make it up to you."

"Great! I know Mizusawa means well but he can't live his life keeping this a secret."

"But what about us?"

"We should make it public but only when it's not gonna affect us."

"Oh yeah in the film I saw they only told people once they were married."

"Can _we_ get married?"

"Of course we can, we're people and it's a basic human right… What makes you think we shouldn't be able to express our love for each other in the ultimate way? I'll look it up."

 _I'll be the one to propose!_

"I think that's a good idea because when we do, everyone we invite'll know... I'll get myself a part time job or two so we can afford it."

"I can't wait!" He does a search on his phone.

"It turns out we can, Shibuya isn't too far from here!"

"Wait! How do old you have to be to get married again?

"I'll find that out too."

"That's amazing! We could get married tomorrow if we wanted!... Except we would need parental permission."

"Don't be silly it will take at least a year to raise that money."

"Not if we work together and budget!"

"Let's go to Shibuya and get married!"

"Yeah, but how does a year sound to you?"

"It sounds sooooooo long… But the surprise will be amazing!"

 _I have to keep telling myself that or I'll feel guilty… It's still lying by omission..._

"I'm counting down the seconds already!"

"Now, that that's all settled time to move on to another subject."

 _Ok, I have to tell him that thing I worked out with Mizusawa, he should graduate in March. I hope it's not too late..._

"Ok, I'm listening."

"Seeing as though we can't sleep together anytime soon, since we're busy… Why don't we just wait until you graduate?"

"I don't see why not, that's not too far away."

 _Am I'm going to actually have to try now? Boo!_

"You _are_ right, though, I would wait an eternity for you. Once you've done everything, what do you have to look forward to?"

"Great! I'm glad you're on board I was thinking we could start with some past papers and if you don't know the answer we can look it up! It's too late to make notes... We've only got three weeks to cram everything."

 _I hope this is enough motivation..._ Nippori walks to Wataru's desk.

"How did your desk get so dusty? You really never use in, do you? I'll make you a revision timetable and all you have to do it stick to it… I want you in the library every lunch and break time..." He continues to waffle on before realising that no one is responding to his questions and Wataru is fast asleep.

 _I'll just make it for him and put it on the wall, he can't miss it!... I can't blame him for sleeping if he's ill, but this is our last chance to push for him to graduate._


	64. Chapter 64

"Time to wake up."

"No, thanks." Wataru resists as Nippori tries to imitate Natsuko's flawless removal of the duvet.

"You need to learn how to do independent study."

"Leave me alone I'm sick."

"How sick are you?"

"I'm sick enough to stay in bed at seven am on a _Sunday_."

 _I'm not strong enough to pull him out of bed..._

"Do you wanna do something Etchi?"

"Maybe!... In like four hours...Zzzz… Don't quote me on that I could need… Zzzz… Six..." He goes back to sleep. Nippori places a hand on his forehead and tries to lift his head off the pillow, it just plummets straight back down.

 _He sounds like his usual self, I can't be too soft on him… He'll thank me when he graduates…_ Nippori opts to use Wataru's hair to get a better grip.

"Ooooooooo~ Keiji-kun I love it when you pull my hair...Zzzz..."

 _That didn't work, What would Hinako do?_ He takes a piece of tissue and twists it to a thin length. He crouches by the side of the bed to get a good angle. He inserts in it to Wataru's right nostril and moves it gently until.

"A- A-Aaaachoooo!...Zzzz..."

 _Why did I sit under him? Now his spit is all over my face…_ He leaves, to get to the sink in the toilet. On his way back he bumps into Natsuko.

"Good morning. Okaasan, how do you wake him up in the morning?"

"Do you remember the other day when I pulled the duvet off?"

"It's not working."

"Then you're gonna have to be creative. I need to start preparations for the restaurant," She slips him a water pistol.

"Thanks Okaasan!"

"You didn't get that from me." She winks before leaving. Nippori fills the water pistol with icy cold water. He goes back to Wataru's room then squirts an experimental drop at Wataru's face. He unconsciously swats it away.

 _That's cute~ No, don't get distracted, myself!_ He squirts some more and Wataru jerks and spuirms so that none of his skin is exposed. Nippori retaliates by lifting the cover up and squirting blindly. Wataru convulses until he falls of the bed.

"You're so stubborn." Wataru takes two fingers and moves them over his right nipple in a circular motion.

"Uwa~ Keiji-kun~" He practically sings, flirtatiously. "All this cold water is making my nipples sooo hard!" He continues to flirt, moaning every word.

"Put some clothes on, I'm your teacher until nine o'clock, when you can have breakfast."

"Nippori-sensei is too strict, I don't want him to come back." He moans. "Feel how hard my nipple is Keiji-kuuuun~"

"This is no joke." Wataru grabs his arm and leads it towards his nipple.

 _I knew he was healthy again! He's just trying to milk it._

"Mizusawa has been a bad influence on you." He says bluntly while accurately squirting the hand that is pulling his, with the water pistol. Wataru lets his hand go and changes his tactic. He leans into kiss Nippori's neck, intermittently, alternating between sucking and nibbling.

"Don't turn into a hentai!"

"If this is wrong, I don't wanna be right." He reaches down. "Come on Keiji-kuuun~ I want you."

"Do you wanna do something Etchi?" He breathes into his ear, teasingly. "Meet the revision targets I've set you for today and we'll see what happens after lunch."

"Yes sir!"

 _Mizusawa was right. Maybe he can make up for lost time!_

"Good boy."

"I love it when you talk down to me, Nippori-sensei."

"If I hear any Etchi comments you will lose five minutes of your break."

"The stricter you are the..." Nippori faces him, clenching his jaw slightly while narrowing his eyes. "Nothing."

 _Now that pseudo-parent thing makes senses he can be really assertive, when he needs to be, it kind of suits him… Not that I'm about to become a teacher's pet!… Unless it means special privileges… Etchi privileges..._

 _He seriously needs to spend less time with Mizusawa, good thing I'm putting this regime in place._

"That's what I thought, now put your clothes on."

 _It's surprisingly easy to control him this way!_

 _That's exactly the opposite of what I wanted to hear..._

"Ok."


	65. Chapter 65

"So, you _can_ work when you put your mind to it!?"

"Is it over now?"

"The first part is, you can break until nine-thirty, then it's nonstop until lunch."

"Since you're going to kill, me can you tell my mother I love her."

"Get a grip."

"Can Nippori-sensei go away during breaks?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"How can such a miserable guy live inside your head?!

"He's not miserable he's sensible."

"I'd be miserable if I was sensible. Can you bring him back a sec?"

"Really? He would say 'You mean 'If I were sensible', you forgot to use the subjunctive!' I can't believe you want him back he's a bit of an _old git_." He whispers the last part.

"I wanna say something to him and since it's break I can say what I want, right?"

"Ok, Azuma."

"Don't say Azuma."

"I'm your tutor."

"Can you be a little bit less strict?"

"No."

"What if I made it worth your while?"

 _He thinks he can manipulate me with 'that'?..._

"No."

"You need to loosen up a bit..." He massages Nippori's shoulders.

"If this is how you want to spend your half hour break, on your head be it."

"Come on I'm bored sir."

"You've got twenty-four minutes left, if you think you can seduce me you've got another thing coming."

 _He's not giving in!? I can't spend the whole of Sunday studying, this is my sleep day!_

"I don't know what a 'seduce' is but let's do it together." He whispers licking Nippori's neck.

"Nippori sensei doesn't like boys."

 _So no matter what I do he'll ignore me?_

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, you can stop touching me now."

"Can you be your normal self then."

"Whatever. I didn't know you could be so determined."

"It depends on how _interested_ I am in something..." He leans in to kiss Nippori who dodges. Then places his hand on his crutch. "You're not hard at all!? What's up?"

"I'm just thinking about our future, you need to show the same determination with your work if you want to graduate. There is no point in taking entrance exams if you can't leave with everyone else this spring,"

 _He's right, there's no point in me taking the entrance exams it's not as if any university would want me… The school's just forcing me to do it because they think it's best for their records... It'd be a lot more difficult to decide not to bother with them, if I wasn't happy to just call it a day with school..._

"Ok, the credits from tumbling alone won't help me, I was just made to do that so I didn't have to resit my second year. I need some alright grades too. I'll listen to you for the rest of today." Nippori kisses him.

 _Now that I think of it, this kind of reminds me of operant conditioning… If I reward him enough maybe I can make him learn good behaviors… That's just a taste, since he's decided to listen, at last._ Nippori looks through the past paper, while Wataru continues to do as he's told.

"You haven't labelled a single one of these organelles properly,"

"Yeah, I forgot about the eutrophic structure of a cell."

"I'm surprised you knew that word, good effort, but it's actually the ultrastructure of a eukaryotic cell."

"That was like the first thing I learnt, you can't blame me it was almost two years ago."

"That's why you need to look back on your work."

 _Revision is torture… I just want to get this nonsense over and done with… Who knew how hard it was, to actually try?... School was always boring, but at least failing was easy, passing is so much effort…_

"Let's start working again, didn't you say we could do something Etchi, if I finished all the work?"

 _He's finally interested! This method is really working. I wonder why no one else has ever thought of this?_

 _The sooner I start the sooner I finish!_

"That's great, I was thinking we could do a bit of English..."

 _I can just blag it with the tick boxes, but I can't stand being asked to write. Essays are impossible when I can't even get the words out to even say what I've got in my head… The words themselves have no meaning they're mostly just a jumble of letters that represent a sound. How am I supposed to remember that combination when English words look so similar and don't follow a logical pattern? There's so much to remember and you can't even guess the meaning..._

"...Then history and maths to finish."

 _Maths is alright._

"Whatever you say, boss." Wataru takes Nippori's hand with the intention of leading him to his room.

"Don't hold your teacher's hand."

"Oops sorry, I forgot you were doing that boring character."

Forty-five minutes into the maths paper.

"Oh sorry Azuma-kun this is a calculator paper, you can have another twenty minutes on your time."

"Don't worry, I've finished."

"But you've still got an hour, without the extra time, it's a hundred marks! I'm still it the middle of my chemistry, but I'll stop the timer to look at yours." Nippori compares Wataru's paper with the mark scheme. "This is still pretty accurate, do you study maths, in secret?"

"No way, I wouldn't enjoy it if I had to think… So I finished the work is it Etchi time?"

"Keep your clothes on, I've still got fifteen minutes on my chemistry. Plus I said lunch then Etchi, consider this free reading time."

"That's just lazy teaching."

"One, don't criticise me when I have the power to take away your privileges, two, I meant something academic, not manga and three..."

"Why does Nippori-sensei always have to be so serious?" He breathes, sensually, teasing again, as he loses his patience with being made to do work at home.

 _Nobody makes me work at home! Not even my own mother... I've had enough for today, even ten minutes more is too much, I have to flick his switch back to horny._ He darts his tongue out onto Nippori's ear lobe before rubbing two fingers over the fabric covering his nipple he shudders.

"Don't disturb me just 'cos you're bored," The shock of the new approach causes him to lose focus and drop out of his character, then he realises. "I mean what have I told you about being inappropriate with your teacher?"

 _That's it he cracked, just another little push._

 _I s'pose I can do this at home, it's not due or anything… But I have to stand my ground, otherwise, he'll know he can get out of work… If we take this break a little bit early he's still on schedule for independent reading when I leave for work… Before I had a reason... Now I can't think straight…_

"Come on I know you're bored too."

 _I can't be a pushover, I have to resist or he'll know he was right, and I won't be able to condition him properly, especially if he gets rewarded for being impatient._

"Your mum will be up soon."

"You'll be ' _up'_ soon..." He kisses Nippori from the ear down along his cheekbone and runs his hand under Nippori's loose fitting t-shirt.

 _I've never had to convince him before, I like having to put the effort in though… The waiting makes it seem more worth my while… What else can I say?... That was quite a clever pun if I do say so myself, but he didn't laugh… I should try something logical._

"She doesn't come up until half past twelve."

"Oops, I forgot you finished and hour early."

 _I can't argue with that… I'll finish the paper, without checking my answers! Maybe I am horny? Of course, I'll check the answers!… Just one an a half questions to go…_

"Can you sit and read please, Azuma-kun?"

"'Kun'!? Don't go backwards in formality."

"You really are becoming a henta,i aren't you? Trying to seduce your teacher tut tut tut."

"Maybe I'd be able to help myself if he wasn't so sexy."

"I don't like boys."

 _It's so hard to keep pretending right now but I'm doing alright, I just need to focus is this mono or polyunsaturated? One, two, Oh definitely poly which means this is a..._

"You will when I've finished with you."

"Sorry mate, that's not something you can change."

 _He's not even using my name now, I'm losing… I bet I can make him horny if I can distract him from that question, it looks soo hard I can almost smell it frying his brain from here._

"If you don't like boys what do you like?"

"Books."

"I mean people."

"Sorry, I only like people that have determination."

 _I know that already includes him, but I've got to inspire him a bit more before I give up and teach him the wrong example..._

"I've got a lot of that."

"So you're gonna study when I leave."

 _I could drop this character any minute! I can't go back to that question, not with him… So close..._

"No."

"Then you're not determined enough, this has to be a two-way thing I teach you, and you teach yourself."

"I'll show you determination."

"I wish you were this dedicated to school subjects."

 _If I don't put up a fight he'll think he's won, but I almost can't fight my body anymore, it's happening again._

"I would be, if you taught them." He kisses Nippori's lips before trying to slip his hand under Nippori's waistband.


	66. Chapter 66

**For the sake of symmetry let's finish this bonus week with a triple, shall we?**

 _This is happening! He did all his work… I know I reaaaally want to… I can't let him know I've got a boner, he'll know how easy it is to get out of listening to me._ Nippori puts down his pencil _and intercepts Wataru's hand, holding both of his over his tented trousers._

 _He's still pretending to be the teacher? I'll keep being the pupil then, except I'd rather treat him like the pupil… At least if Nippori-sensei doesn't like boys, I can show him a thing or two... What did the guy say on the drama? 'Mai Hani'? 'Daringu'?_

"Take your hands away..."

"Iya desu.*"

 _He's still being formal?_

 _I'd rather not wait, but his reaction faces are funny!_

"Come on honey." He tries to move his hands.

 _Who does he think he's calling honey, he can't sweet talk me, I'm not the girl from that drama… Please don't tell me he's comparing me to her she was such a pushover…_

"Iya da**!?㈐2"

 _I never thought I'd pay attention to any romance dramas… It's the the women in my life's faults._

 _He's less formal but still refusing, I should be more gentle?..._

"Don't be afraid my darling."

 _That's a direct quote, it's as if he thinks I wasn't listening!… He thinks I'm that easy to please?_

"What are you hiding honey?"

 _The fact that he's not giving in so easily, this time, makes it more thrilling… Now I can only imagine… Whether he's excited or not!… The mystery makes my heart beat faster. I don't care if he never gives up._

 _Oh no, it might be working… I want to show him so badly._

"Keep teasing me Nippori-sensei… I like the fact that you're shy."

 _He's still playing that game? I'll carry on if that's what he wants..._

"Show me your determination."

"Yes, darling."

 _Why does that give me chills?_ Wataru makes a second attempt the pull his hands away, he's stronger than Nippori, so easily could, if he wanted to. He lifts his hand but Nippori quickly replaces it.

 _Yay, he's finally horny, now I just wanna play with him._

"Where is Nippori-sensei from?"

"I'm a student that traveled from Hokkaido and makes extra money as a tutor." Nippori thinks fast for someone with a lower rate of blood flow to the brain.

"Ah, that sounds nice, have you ever been with a man before?"

"No and I don't want to start with my pupil." He lies.

"Shh..." He stops his lips with a startling kiss. "Is this your first time?"

 _I don't know why but the shyness gives me such a buzz, he was so shameless before… The slower the better, it's so much more satisfying to make a character that doesn't like you unable to resist. What was it on the drama?...'Tsundere'?_ He manages to get his hand onto Nippori's erection over his clothes and the reaction he gets isn't anything like he expects.

"Hazukashii!~***"

I _'ve been discovered… Now he knows I've been horny the whole time..._

 _That's just so strange coming from him… Oooh~ The high pitch at the end… I wish he was more like this usually. I prefer being the one that teaches him…_

Wataru puts his arms around Nippori, enveloping the entirety of his small frame.

 _I wonder if I can milk the resistant teacher act a bit more? I like teasing him… Plus he can't just expect his 'teacher' to give in this easily…_

Nippori turns his wrists in and clutches his arms to his chest wrists at either side of his rose tinted cheeks as he turns side to side in time with the shaking of his head. He both covers his face and manages to dislodge the parasitic Wataru.

"Dame da!****~"

 _This is so unlike his character, he's usually much rougher, the way his voice goes up at the end makes my ochinchin twitch._

"You're so cute~! I can't take it."

 _What is with this feeling in my stomach, are these the 'butterflies' people, talk about? I can feel something all over my body, it's warm… It doesn't make me want to do anything Etchi, though, I could just hug him all day._ He tries to hug Nippori, but this time when he resists he looks hurt.

"Are you ok nii-chan?"

"Don't break character."

"I keep being told that… So you like the teasing?"

"I like how shy you're being."

"Why?"

"I don't know, but it's amusing, the sounds, the faces..."

"So, you don't want to skip to the end?"

 _Maybe he's learning patience…_

"Trying to convince you to like me is the best part, I never got a chance before..."

"I don't get why you like me to pretend to be embarrassed."

"I don't know, you seem more pure, therefore rare and so precious making every touch, sound and glimpse I get even more of a treat… Since I have to work for it..."

"You just summed up the education system..."

"How?"

"Grades would be useless if they were easy."

"I wish they were."

"No, because If everyone had them _everyone_ would be average, no one would stand out and if there was no challenge, the people with brains better than ours wouldn't feel like they were being tested. Plus there would be no reasoning kind of makes sense the harder to get, the better to have. Isn't that where things like diamonds and flashy cars get their value?"

"So it's fun because it's hard?"

"No, it's hard so you can prove yourself."

"Imagine how messed up the economy would be if everyone was rich, they would put the prices up then we'd end up being poor."

"I'd say that was profound and that I like the way you can use maths to make sense of much more complicated things, but the fact that you just came up with that tell me you paid no attention to history."

"I was talking about a 'what if' thingy."

"You mean hypothetical and this has already happened in history, it's called hyperinflation, that's how I know you didn't pay attention… You are good at maths though… The chemistry question I was stuck on was chock full of maths can you have a look at it?"

"What happened to…?" He pats Nippori's crutch expectantly "It's gone?"

"I must have got distracted. Why don't we do the question and I can finish the paper. Then your mum'll be up soon."

Author's note

*Iya desu →I do not want to/ disgusting.

**Iya da→I don't wanna/ screw you.

***Hazukashii→I'm so embarrassed.

****Dame da→It's no use/ that's bad


	67. Chapter 67

_I managed not to give in!... I was one step away from abandoning the character and jumping into bed. But what he doesn't know can't hurt him... But that face… He looked so let down… Like a kicked dog..._

"Are you back for now?"

"Yeah, I can't be asked being him anymore, but this does need finishing."

"Oh, ok..."

"I thought you didn't like him… Oh, you wanted to seduce him and failed?"

"I still don't like being taught, but..."

"Do you still have a boner?"

"No, that went, probably when you started talking about all the allegories."

"Allegories? No, you on the right lines but it's just an analogy."

"Hmm?"

"Like a metaphor."

"Eh?"

"How come you don't know the simple stuff?"

"I may or may not have started listening in the past couple of months, I included the 'may not' because I still zone out a bit. So basically I 'may not' have started..."

"That explains why I had to teach you the alphabet… You've still got a chance, you only need to know the answers, not understand although, understanding helps. Like with this question… Don't strain your neck sit here." He pats his lap.

"Get lost, I'll break your legs. Sit on my lap." He does. "Now, we can both sit comfortably." Nippori wiggles in an attempt to get comfortable. "Don't do that."

"Sorry, did I hurt you."

"No, you're rubbing my..."

"Oops, I didn't think." He swings his legs as Wataru reads the question.

"Please stop."

"Did that hurt?"

"No, it's just too cute~"

"Don't get all lovey dovey on me now."

"Don't you like it?"

"No, it just does strange things to my insides."

"Woah, I get you, it's not Etchi, is it?"

"Yeah, but you feel good and bad at the same time or hot and cold! Whatever it is it's a strange mixture."

"Right from head to toe?" Nippori nods. "Ok, with this question I'd start by dividing it into two halves. Most of it's nonsense to me, but you break it down like this..."

"Ah!~" Their heads whip around at lightning speed as Natsuko collapses to the floor. Nippori dashes up to her first partly because he was sitting on Wataru and partly because Wataru is not in a hurry.

"Are you ok, Okaasan?"

"I'm fine, I never thought I'd see the day!... My spirit left me for a second there and that was when I fell."

"You, drama queen." Wataru meanders over to the scene. "You deserve an academy award mum."

"I might have reacted the same way if I walked in on him studying." They both share another moment. Wiping tears from their eyes they resume the conversation ignoring the mortified Wataru.

"You're the best influence on him!"

"I don't know… The real test is if he continues when I go to work."

"Yeah but the fact that you actually got him to put a pen to paper, that is a real achievement!"

"He's a bit stubborn, but I have my ways." He beams, relishing in the compliment he's receiving.

"I'm really impressed… You two are so cute together..."

 _I was certainly blessed with two sons…_

"There's only one chair in here mum."

"You must _really_ love each other." She teases Wataru, finding him, in yet another position that doesn't suit his character.

"You know?"

"Of course, I know you told me."

 _That's one less person I have to tell._

"Last weekend, you told me like three times and even thanked me for making him, like on vs Arashi."

"Oh, like on someone's birthday?... I don't remember telling you."

"You banged your head and became super-duper honest."

"I wasn't rude was I?"

"Not at all."

"Okaasan, you're the best." They share a hug. "So, I can say nii-chan and he can say Keiji-kun?"

"Whatever you want." He squeezes tighter before saying,

"This place just became even more like my home!"

 _At least Okaasan doesn't treat me differently… I know he was pretending to be 'straight' but may be Wataru shouldn't have donkey kicked me out of bed this morning…_ Natsuko kisses his forehead after receiving such a big compliment.

 _Ah~ I have two wonderful sons what did I do to deserve this?_

 _Kiss!?_

"Okaasan do you love me too?"

"Yes, like your mother..."

"Don't make him cry again."

 _I hope he does something Etchi after lunch and he won't, if he's sad._

"Nii-chan these are happy tears."

"Come in for the hug."

"..."

"I hugged you yesterday, I know you can do it."

"Come on nii-chan don't be a spoilsport."

 _He's smiling now I don't wanna wreck his mood._

"Oh, you did it somehow,"

"Yay, family hug!"

"This is so cheesy… No one's watching, we can stop now,"

"Doesn't this feel good nii-chan?"

"It's alright… Ok, I'm fed up now."

"Ok, if you're going to ruin the moment." Natsuko leaves.

 _I like the fact that Nippori managed to bring us closer… It was on that first evening when he stayed over that Wataru became, some much more sensitive, and emotive…._

"Nii-chan, I thought you wanted the hug to be over."

"Can you turn to face me."

"Ok, but I'm a bit peckish so just a minute."

"I could hug _you_ all day… That's was what I was thinking, before we started doing work again."

"Now that I've got over the maths part, I can finish that question at home, I seriously thought you were going to do something Etchi."

"I thought that too for a bit… "

"Like you said in the shower it's nice to just be able to 'be' and I get it now. If you weren't ill before we might never've had that conversation..."

"I'm glad we did, because now I feel closer to you."

"Today was nice, it just showed me how we can make each other better people."

"How? We've had less than an _hour_ of free time and I woke up early on a _Sunday_ ,"

"I helped you with that and you helped me with the maths so together, we're better." He gives him a peck on the cheek.

"For goodness sake, kiss me like a man." He grabs Nippori's face and unsophisticatedly rams his tongue into his mouth. In this way, Nippori doesn't mind being stereotyped.


	68. Chapter 68

At the table.

"You seem better Wataru."

"I am."

"He was fine this morning. His appetite came back." Both regular and sexual.

"Good. Have you learned anything interesting today?"

"I can't remember."

"You can do better than that. Did he cause you any trouble Nippori-chan?"

"He didn't listen at first, he thought he could manipulate me and when I came up with a penalty for being disruptive he listened, well almost… He did as he was told but still messed about a bit… I'd also like to mention that he's really gifted with maths, but a bit impatient… He finished the maths paper an hour early and..."

"She doesn't need to know about that." He stands to silence Nippori.

"Now, I really wanna know." She restrains Wataru.

"Well, I had to finish mine so I tried to make him do some private study… That didn't really work out and I was this close to giving in. " He holds his thumb and index finger really close to illustrate, before Wataru interrupts.

"Oh yeah, I remember that part I actually did learn something interesting I was being really annoying and he somehow managed to teach me the meaning of education. It's a test to prove yourself."

"Exactly, it's not necessarily what you learn, but the transferable skills you get from it."

"If he didn't tell me that, let's just say we definitely wouldn't have been studying when you walked in… I don't remember much else, though."

"It's still one thousand percent more than you used to do."

"Actually, since I never did anything before it's just one hundred percent, you only go over one hundred if you are multiplying so one hundred percent of ten is ten and one hundred and fifty percent would be fifteen."

" _Excuse_ me, princess!" She jokes, genuinely astonished by Wataru's hidden skill. "I dropped out of high school, but you're not gonna! You can finally get your head down and graduate."

"I wouldn't go that far mum, trying is really hard,"

 _When Nippori goes, my motivation goes… There's no way I'm actually gonna keep this up..._

"At least you have these opportunities."

 _If she feels like that, why did she drop out?..._

"Just remember you have two people that love you very much."

 _Her parents weren't there for her, is that what she means?... She wants me to graduate because she didn't?... I remember that she never told my dad I existed because… She wanted him to have a future?... That means!… So my grandparents disowned her?..._

He hugs Natsuko.

"What was that for? You're really spoiling me with all these hugs, I might expect them more often in the future."

She hugs back.

"Wataru are _you_ crying?"

"I'm sorry for ruining your life." She slaps him.

"I don't want to EVER hear you say something that stupid again!… You made me who I am today, you might have changed it but never say ruin! Imagine how boring I would have been, If I just followed the path my parents wanted me to, went to university and became someone's wife!" She laughs through the tears. "I can't imagine a life without you… Just because I have high hopes for _you_ , doesn't mean I'm disappointed in myself. I made you didn't I? Isn't that something to be proud enough of myself? The only thing a parent can do to be successful is have successful kids, you're what stays behind, I'm glad you exist, never doubt that! don't think that just because I've made a comment about you graduating that I'm putting pressure on you, take your time and if you fail you fail."

 _That doesn't sound like good advice but I can't stand the thought of being like my parents, pressure doesn't help, it just made me act out… We never communicated and if I had more respect for them, who knows, I might have been a more obedient daughter, all they ever did was push me away with their rules… I shouldn't have been glad when they disowned me… But really, it was a lot of stress off my shoulders… They only wanted me to be a success so I made a lot of money to take care of them in their retirement..._

"I couldn't be happier about the fact that you're alive, parents only worry because they care… If anything you saved my life."

"But..."

"I promise you didn't make me unhappy. I never regretted having you for a second. I wanted to be a photographer more than anything, but my parents were against it, really _you_ saved me."

 _How could anyone give Okaasan conditions for positive regard that's so cruel…_

"It's not as if I wanted to spend seven years studying for a subject I wasn't passionate about. I would have been insincere and wasting the place of a more deserving candidate."

"You have to spend seven years at uni?"

"Only for medicine. It takes seven years to become a general practitioner. I think it's something like five if you want to do surgery or something specific in the hospital."

"Ok,"

 _Few!_

"Didn't I break up your friendship with his mum."

"I didn't like the guy she was seeing and if we stayed friends, she never would have had Nippori."

 _It was a shotgun wedding, after she graduated... Nippori doesn't need to know that… I was invited but, I couldn't afford child care, or a dress for that matter… It would have been too much of a financial strain._

"Are you saying everything happens for a reason?"

"No, somethings don't need to happen, but let's not talk about miserable things anymore."

"You're right mum, I'd rather not keep crying."

"Me too."

"Eh?"

"Sorry, shouldn't I have been listening?"

"No, I don't get why you're crying."

"Join the hug Nippori-chan."

"We're not talking about sad stuff anymore, are we?"

"Tell me what's on your mind."

"Ok, well I've always been glad to be alive... I know there are plenty of people worse off than me so I'm always happy what I've got… Listening to that story reminds me of how if my mother hadn't got pregnant she'd be alive, but my brother wouldn't have been born... What you just told me is that if nii-chan never existed, I would never have existed so there's no me without him... I feel like I always knew we were meant to be together..."

"No, I can't stop crying that's so sweet!" She squeezes tighter.

"At least this is a happier conversation."

"Exactly it's less about loss more about gain."

"We're all lucky to be here."

"Yeah, you two might have been accidents, but you weren't mistakes!"

"What do you mean by accident?"

 _Nippori's so naive, that's cute…_

"Well Wataru was born when I was sixteen, and since your mum was born in December and got married after she graduated…" She thinks out loud as she struggles to do the sums in her head. "Two years above me senpai..."

"She must have been twenty."

"Your maths _is_ good… So that's why she never told me her age?... I'm an 'accident'?"

"Don't say accident, just not planned… I know neither of us have any regrets." She kisses their foreheads, glancing at the clock.

"Oh! My lunch break's over, can you do the dishes Wataru?"

"Ok mum."


	69. Chapter 69

**_This one is really short so I can't help but publish a second chapter this week._**

 _I finally get to do something Etchi, it feels like it's been years._ He stares longingly at Nippori, who takes it the wrong way.

"Fine, I'll do the dishes."

"No you don't have to, leave it I'll do it when you leave."

 _I can't believe he was that close before… I just want to make up for lost time…_

"They can't just sit there." He collects the dishes, Wataru makes no effort to help, and instead tries to do everything in his power to disrupt him.

 _I can't leave this place in a mess I know I said after lunch, but there's no way I'm going to be able to relax unless all this is taken care of… I won't be able to enjoy it…_ Wataru breathes down Nippori's neck, before littering it with kisses.

 _Oh~ I never noticed these bones before, they're 'horny'?... No! I'm horny, they're sexy…_ He licks Nippori's collar bone.

"Hee hee, nii-chan, that tickles, I almost dropped a cup, hee hee." He drops a pair of chopsticks and bends down to pick them up.

 _Ah~ I can't stand it…_ Wataru stares at Nippori's round cheeks as he stands up and walks to the sink. Wataru follows placing both hands on his rear and squeezing.

"Nii-chan, dame~"

 _Ah~ it's the voice again… I seem to like it more, than when he speaks it a deeper voice… I bet he knows!_ Nippori swipes away Wataru's hands and gets on with the dishes.

 _He has to wait… Nothing can distract me not until this is sorted…_

 _What did I do before?... Who knows, but as soon as he's hard he's mine!_ Wataru rubs his palm on Nippori's unsubstantial bulge.

 _It's not gonna work… It's not as if I don't wish I could leave them here…_ He overlaps Wataru's hand with his soapy one and removes it gently pushing him away. _He's not getting the message._ Nippori flicks him with water, which he dodges, but starts to return. He thinks this is a game?...

"Kuru na*!?￢ﾀﾝ

 _He didn't use the voice… Time for a change in tactics…_ He hugs Nippori from behind.

 _He can keep doing this as long as my arms are free..._

"I love you!"

 _If he thinks he can play 'that' card he's got another thing coming... I'm not that easily controlled… I'll ignore him…_ He only wants attention.

"Say it back." He complains.

 _Is he acting like another character? It's either that or he's really not interested…_

Wataru squeezes tighter, before lowering his arms to Nippori's hips and grinding into his backside, one of his hands snaking its way down into Nippori's waistband.

 _I'm sure last time he was already hard by now… I'm losing my touch…_

"Mō iya yo!**"

 _This is a real challenge! But I'll not give up…_ Nippori tenses and pushes out his bum in an attempt to break Wataru's grip on his hips.

"I love the way that feels… Oh~" Wataru licks Nippori's neck again, he still resists and suddenly squats to detach Wataru from his body, and he doesn't expect it so he falls over.

"Are you ok nii-chan?"

 _What is he playing at? I've only got one more dish..._ He looks down concerned, then sees his grinning face. _Oh, I see, he's loving this… I don't actually have to pay him any attention, but he likes it? The dishes are finished… I wonder how far I can push this… Oh yeah! I need to act really shy… This is a reward for doing all that work today... His obedience surpassed even my expectations… What did he ask before?… Maybe it is my 'first time'?…_ Nippori makes a cunning face as if conspiring against Wataru. _Now I've worked out his weakness I can milk it…_ He dries his hands while coming up with a plan. _I'll act like that girl from the drama!_

Author's note

*Kuru na→don't come over here, but slang so more like back off!

** Mō iya yo→That's enough/ no more.


	70. Chapter 70

Nippori helps Wataru up."Are you ok nii-chan?"

"I'm great, how are you?" He takes Nippori into his arms.

"Nii-chan~Hanashite*~" He pushes him away playfully.

 _He's insanely cute right now… The more effort the more satisfying the reward… He's finished the dishes now… I don't have too far to push._ He eyes Nippori hungrily, planning what to do with him.

 _This is fun he's so persistent… Maybe it's as fun to be seduced as it is to seduce… I'm normally too horny to enjoy the process before hand… I'm not leaving for half and hour… There's no rush…_ Wataru closes his eyes and leans in to kiss him on the lips but ends up meeting a hand.

"Nii-chan dame~"

 _I like this shy character, I need to work out where he's coming from like with Nippori-sensei… That was fun even if we didn't get anywhere..._

"Have you never kissed before?"

"No..."

"Let me teach you..."

 _Yes!… What should I call him he's definitely not Keiji-kun…_

"Iya da~"

 _That voice gives me chills… I'll start slow…_

"What's your name sweetheart?"

 _Ah~ He's so much kinder in this form… It's nice to see him making an effort…_

"Nippo-rin~"

"Can I kiss you, Nippo-rin?"

"Dame desho**~"

"Not at all." Wataru exposes Nippori's shoulder and kisses him from the shoulder up.

 _He's good… I think I_ could get used to making him work for it… At least we both enjoy it… At the start, I didn't even know what Etchi was… I did stuff without understanding… Without savouring it… I wouldn't change what happened because a lot of good has come from it but patience is nicer… Nippori winces, straining his neck away from Wataru's fervent kisses and trying to suppress a moan.

 _Yes! I've got him…_ Wataru makes another attempt to grab Nippori's penis.

 _I want the playing part to go on longer._

"Nii-chan dame~" He covers his own crotch again.

 _I thought I had him… One more try._

"Oh… What have we here?" Wataru raises his eyebrows suggestively.

"Hazukashii!~" Nippori uses a wet cloth to flick Wataru with water. Wataru turns on the tap to retaliate. He cups his hand and fills it with water before throwing it at Nippori.

 _I've got work… I can't get wet…_ Wataru notices the worry on Nippori's face. _I've got time… Few, I didn't want to have to break character… This is getting interesting._

"Sorry! Are you alright Nippo-rin?"

"Nii-chan~ Tanoshii!***~" He reciprocates. They splash each other for a bit before Wataru disrupts the activity with a kiss. Nippori kisses back instinctively and Wataru uses this as an opportunity to get a firm grasp on his penis.

"Dame~" He caresses Nippori's pocket-sized bulged through his trousers.

 _I don't like the thought of doing something Etchi in the kitchen… Not where food's cooked…_ He places his hand on top of Wataru's and tries to pull it off.

"Ah~ Nii-chan~"

 _He's nearly there…_ He puts his hand under Nippori's waistband, he resists still but can't help but let out a small squeal as Wataru makes contact. Wataru detects the fact that he's ready to submit and leads Nippori's hand on to his own straining penis. He accepts.

"Kimochi ii?****" He finds that he enjoys taking control of the situation.

"Kimochi ii~" This satisfies Wataru. Nippori starts to pant and let's go of Wataru, instead using both hands to pull Wataru's hand away.

"What's wrong Nippo-rin?"

"Nii-chan~ Hen'nakanji~*****"

"Iku?"

"Eh?"

 _Where does he want me to go?_

"Mizusawa taught me…It's the word for 'that' feeling remember the bet."

"Nippo-rin doesn't know Mizusawa… Who is he nii-chan?"

"That doesn't matter."

 _He's good at staying in character..._

"That feeling, you'll enjoy it. Do you trust nii-chan?" He nods and Wataru resumes the kiss. Nippori goes back to feeling Wataru through his trousers.

"Aaaahhhh~ Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-chiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyaaaaaaaannnnnn!~ Nnnnnnnnnn~ Iku! Iku! Ahh~" He hugs Wataru as the convulsions wrack his body.

Author's note

*Hanashite→ leave me alone.

**Dame desho→ I think that's probably a bad idea.

*** Tanoshii→ I'm having fun/ really enjoying myself.

****Kimochi ii? Is does that feel good were as kimochi ii is it feels good.

*****Hen'nakanji→ This feels weird/ strange.

Explanation for 'rin' watch?v=fUdgHBse8r0 (Youtube)


	71. Chapter 71

**It's my first time having a reason to appreciate Friday for a while and I've just settled back into to old routine so this is the double starting off the bonus week.**

"That's enough nii-chan."

"But you didn't jizz."

"What's jizz?"

"That white stuff."

"What white stuff?"

 _He pays a lot of attention to detail… So we're pretending he's innocent ,again?…_

"Of course Nippo-rin doesn't know, let me show you… In the bedroom." He effortlessly picks up and carries Nippori into his room.

 _Perhaps it's ok to be taken care of, sometimes…_ Unlike the last time he carried Nippori into his room, he places him on the bed gently.

"Let's get those wet clothes off you."

"I have to leave to walk to work in the next fifteen minutes."

"I'll get you a taxi then you don't have to leave for like forty minutes."

"Nii-chan~ Atama ii!*~" Nippori raises his arms and Wataru takes the signal to lift his damp T-shirt up over his head. He lays it out neatly, to dry in the sun, so it's not wet when he puts in back on.

"Nii-chan is so thoughtful." He hugs Wataru and pulls him down onto the bed before pulling his T-shirt off and letting it fall to the floor. Wataru pats Nippori's lap.

"Oh, Nippo-rin you've got another bokki!" Nippori ingeniously feins nervousness, biting down on his outstretched index finger and staring at the ground.

"Let me show you something cool." He situates himself with his face at Nippori's crotch and proceeds to delicately ease down Nippori's trousers with anticipation, like opening a present on Christmas morning. Nippori stops him.

"Hazukashii!*~"

"What's wrong Nippo-rin?"

 _I thought he was ready to go for it._

"Miru na!~***"

"Why not?"

"Himitsu****~" Wataru licks the fabric that covers Nippori's erection and takes Nippori's hand into his, supportively.

"Aaahh!~ Nii-chan~ Kimochii~."

"It feels better without clothes." Nippori shifts a bit and pulls down his trousers. Leaving his underwear on, to Wataru's surprise. He goes to town on Nippori this time, completely drenching his tight fitting, tented briefs.

"Nnnnnn~ Nii-chan~"

"Iku?" He nods, bashfully biting his index finger again.

 _This is amazing… Those looks!... And the sounds… I'm so lucky… I kind of wish I knew more, earlier so I could have really shown Nippori… But if I knew then what I know now I would have been too shy... I suppose it couldn't have happened any other way… The first time we were together like this…_ Wataru carefully pulls Nippori's briefs down and his throbbing erection bursts free and to his surprise, Nippori covers it again.

 _The more I wait the more tempted I get… I wish he didn't have to go… He's really trying to excite me and I don't want it to end… It's much nicer how we can be ourselves when we're together… This is sexy but I couldn't see a future with Nippo-rin… Such a superficial thing could never last in the long run… That's why I'm glad we've got what we've got… I'll thank Nippori for being so thoughtful later but I have to let him know I prefer the really him to any character…_

"Hazukashii?" Nippori nods. "Nii-chan will close his eyes, just relax Nippo-rin."

 _I knew he could be extra kind and gentle when he wanted something… Hmm… Now I feel like he just wants something from me… I definitely prefer it when we're our normal selves… Like I'd ever fall for that… But I can imagine some girls will…_ Wataru resumes, and Nippori runs his hands through his hair before holding his head it place as he thrusts into Wataru's glistening pink lips. He puckers them and his cheeks become indented as he sucks more vigorosly. Nippori arcs his back and speeds up.

"Ahh~ Nnnnnnnnniiiii-chiiiiiiiyyyyyyyaaaannnnnn~ Ikuuuuuuu!~"

"How was that Nippo-rin?"

"I liked it nii-chan~ Come back up here." He commands.

 _Oh! Is he taking control now?... I forgot how much I liked that…_

Author's note

*Hazukashii→I'm embarrassed.

**Atama ii means 'you're smart, I like that' but directly translates to good head.

*** Miru na→Don't look! (Slang)

****Himitsu→Its a secret.


	72. Chapter 72

"Take your underpants off."

 _Forget being manipulated, that's not for me…._

Wataru does as he's told.

"What else does Nippo-rin want nii-chan to do?"

"Nii-chan needs to be quiet for a minute." Wataru mimes zipping his lips. "Good boy, now sit down."

 _That feels so much better… I can't be dealing with that anymore… I've fought against playing that role for too long… He won't mind a change of pace..._

 _I've got a question about the character now… I never even worked out the origin story, like with Nippori-sensei… I'm excited by the mystery, but now I'm confused… Maybe Nippori got bored by the so-called 'ideal' scenario from before too… I knew he wasn't a weakling… That's probably part of the reason why I chose him… Or why we chose each other… Really, no one else compares…_ Nippori kisses Wataru's neck, relentlessly until he settles on a point where he sucks and nibbles until it leaves a mark.

 _That pinches a bit but I like it…_

Nippori straddles Wataru, while going in for a long, passionate, sloppy, wet French kiss.

"Aaaah~ Nippo-rin, you're so mysterious… Tell me about yourself." Nippori ignores him, opting instead to move on to tormenting his nipples. Wataru decides to ask the question he really has on his mind. "You're not as innocent as I thought you were. Have you really never been with a man?"

"What did I tell you about not speaking!?"

 _Uwa... This is so unlike Nippori, I'd be lying if I didn't say it gave me a thrill..._

"There's only one man I've ever loved and you're not him."

 _So harsh… The drama's really building here! How does he come up with these scenarios?_ "You got a kick out of that act didn't you?" Wataru nods to get a reaction out of him. "Filthy hentai!" He slaps Wataru's cheek "You'll never be as good as him…"

 _Who is he? Oh, this is an alternate universe where I'm not Wataru… I wonder what he'd call me if my character had a name…_

"Tell me about him." The two snog and break the kiss each time they speak.

"He was wild, a free spirit with red hair and an even more fiery temper." They continue the kiss until Wataru has the Eureka moment and works out how to play along.

"Oh, I don't like the sound of that guy, he could never compare with the likes of my guy, yeah I got a kick out of that act but it could never mean anything. I must have been confused by how similar your faces are, but the inside! I couldn't have been more wrong, he's the kindest most considerate person I've ever met! He almost never thinks about himself, coming face to face with the likes of you only reminds me of how lucky I was to be blessed with his company."

"Your guy sounds pretty sweet but, mine was funny, supportive and understood me."

"You'll never realise how amazing it feels to have someone so patient, listen to you and put effort into your future no matter how hopeless you are."

"Your guy sounds soft mate."

"You couldn't be further from the truth, he is the strongest most fearless guy I've ever known! Your guy must have been tapped it the head if he thinks fighting and having people fear you is strength." Nippori is really touched by the sentiment and feels less inclined to resume the kiss, this time, Wataru's notices that he's being less erotic and takes both their penises into his hand. He manages to slightly re-engage Nippori in the activity. He kisses back.

"Ah~" Nippori just moans unable to get back into the argument, the characters abate, having done their job of bringing them closer through an expression of their honest feelings towards each other.

"Ah~ Nii-chan~ I'm nearly there!"

"Keiji-kun, I'm so glad it's you!"

"And I couldn't be happier that it's you!" They embrace each other, Wataru speeds up the vertical movements of his hand.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!~" Nippori flops into Wataru's arm's, panting. Wataru closes his eyes and pulls Nippori's face towards his, and kisses him intensely.

 _Why is his face salty?_ Wataru opens his eyes out of curiosity.

"You're crying!? Don't tell me 'they're happy tears'?"

"I didn't know you felt that way about me,"

"You knew I loved you didn't you?"

"Yeah but those are the nicest things anyone has ever said about me."

"And those were the nicest things anyone has ever said about me, I've always felt like I didn't deserve you."

"What!? No!"

"I still know I don't deserve you, but knowing you're as happy to be with me as I am with you makes my life complete. Don't change, thanks for pretending to be that boy, but... "

"The character was actually a girl." He giggles.

"No, wonder she was so harsh! What I'm trying to say is that I enjoyed it, but no one excites me as much as you do."

"So, we both got fed up?"

"Exactly, If you were imagining yourself to be a girl who were you imagining me to be?

"Some arrogant straight guy and you managed to fulfil all my expectations."

"Never again?"

"Never again… Well, may be once or twice... It was nice being taken care of." He confesses.

"I thought you didn't like that."

"You can never get fed up of being treated with gentleness and a caring attitude, what I didn't like before was being underestimated and patronised."

"Eh?"

"I didn't like being looked down on, especially by someone I love."

"I get it, Mizusawa was like that with me before and I would have roundhouse kicked the head off his shoulders if I didn't promise to stay out of fights." The two laugh at their shared insecurity.

"It's really the best to be honest together, isn't it?"


	73. Chapter 73

"In future, if we don't like something, even if we think the other person likes it we should just say, since this time we were both bored, if we didn't stop where we did what would you have done? That aggressive character was nothing like you, I definitely wouldn't have stopped, out of curiosity for how far you'd go. I was just so shocked"

"I was sick of feeling like a bottom so..."

"A bottom?"

"The guy that always takes it up the bum, that's neither of us by the way." He adds. "So I decided to take advantage of the situation and take control."

"If neither of us are bottoms how do we do it?"

"We're taking it in turns remember?"

"Few, there's no way I'd be a bottom."

"That's what I said, we're so alike! Mizusawa just laughed at me. He thought there was something wrong with me, as if the logical thing would be to have the smaller younger person as the bottom! It's that kind of thinking that lost him the top position."

"When did you find out about all this?"

"A bit before our first date."

"So, you had all that going on in your head before you even spoke to me about it?"

"Yeah, I could see you acting like a top without even thinking about it, I should have just spoken to you about it."

"So, that's why you reacted so badly to losing the race and not having your fight challenge accepted? I was such an idiot, now I know you feel the same as me about being looked down on… I'm so sorry."

"No, I was the idiot for not being honest."

"You told me eventually..."

"That's not the same, I'm so lucky you're you… You've forgiven me and you're the only person besides Okaasan to not expect me to live up to some expectations based on my appearance."

"With me, everyone sees me as a threat."

"But for me I'm just seen as a joke..." He deflates into Wataru's arms, planting his face into the skin of his pare shoulder, Wataru reacts immediately to the moisture.

"Don't say that, I told you that I like you and that's all that matters."

"I love you so much, it's been bugging me that I never said it back before. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, I want you to know that."

"Maybe, the fact that the rest of the world can't see you for what you really are means..."

"We're lucky, that superficial people chose to ignore us?"

"I wish they didn't, but you're onto something, the fact that no one else likes us lead us to each other… You just have to think of judgemental people as those that lost out on getting to know the real you, but you didn't need them in the first place. So don't change, not to improve your confidence, make friends or to fit in. What matters is what makes you happy." Nippori hugs Wataru.

 _I need to take my own advice that's just like what I said to Mizusawa about make up… How could I have been blindsided by not wanting to have my feelings hurt?_

"Thanks, I needed to hear that, coming from you… I don't need _anyone_ else's approval."

 _I'm going to have to learn to cope better with that sort of thing and I think honesty is the best way to go from here… It'll take a while to get used to other people's harsh words but I'm not changing… Hopefully, I won't have any issues by the time we get married… I'll be nineteen and high school will be over..._

"Right, now where were we?"

"It's not too hard to remember." Nippori hints, flirtatiously before kissing Wataru who continues it as he leans down onto the bed,

"Wataru!" They freeze in their tracks as they hear Natsuko's voice thundering from the kitchen. The two race to put their clothes back on. She bursts in and they couldn't be more thankful that she announced her presence.

"Is there a reasonable explanation as to why my kitchen is soaked through!?"

"Sorry mum, we were drying our clothes."

"That's not what I asked! I come upstairs to warn you that Nippori is gonna be late and I find a wet kitchen!"

"Please forgive me Okaasan, I started it." He bows at ninety degrees. "I have no excuse."

"No, I started it I was distracting him from doing the dishes."

"Nippori, raise your head you haven't done anything that bad, but Wataru I told you to do the dishes." He flinches, expecting a slap.

 _Aww, that's so brotherly, having a fight over who does the chores… Boys will be boys..._ "What have I told you about leaving chores to Nippori? Tut tut tut."

"Aren't you mad?"

"How can I stay mad at you two you're so sweet together."

 _Don't tell me mum's going soft… I should definitely start rationing hugs a bit more, that's enough for the year…_ Not being punished makes him anxious and so, he seeks it out for himself.

"Do something!"

"Oh! You want a fight, do you?" She flexes her knuckles menacingly. "Come at me! You wanna fight!?" He nods and she walks up to him and hugs him. "That's tough for you."

"I feel bad, at least punish me, this is unlike you, it's creeping me out."

"I know I've done a good job raising you when you do something wrong and ask for punishment, you can clean up the water, we don't want it leaking through to the restaurant and shorting the power do we?"

"Yay." Natsuko facepalms.

"Oh and there's a taxi waiting for you outside, it's prepaid just get your stuff together."

"Thanks Okaasan, you really saved the day, I have to do overtime today since I'll be off next weekend, turning up late would really have been an issue for me. Bye nii-chan, bye Okaasan!" He hugs her goodbye and races to the door.


	74. Chapter 74

Nippori sees Mizusawa outside the gates.

"Oi, Mizusawa, how was your weekend?"

"It was the usual, fun but I still haven't topped since the first disaster. He didn't even cum that time he just turned over and didn't speak to me. I've learned a lot about how his trauma and other stuff has affected him, but I want that to lead to a change, you know?"

"What's cum?"

"It's a verb or a noun depending on what it's describing. Either the feeling which would be the verb for example 'I'm cumming' but the other way to use it is as a noun, which describes that white stuff. For example 'there's cum on my face'."

"So I cummed three times on Sunday?"

"No, it's came in the past tense."

"Oh no! Wataru didn't cum at all this weekend. Ooops!"

"How did you manage that?"

"He was ill so we didn't do anything Etchi on Saturday, then I made him study on Sunday, until we had lunch. It's not like he didn't want to, I just kept making him wait… We did bond a lot, though… I enjoyed the weekend even if I only let him do Etchi stuff for less than and hour… It was fun but if his mum didn't interrupt, I would have been so late."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I was gonna be late to work."

"No, did she see anything?"

"Like what?"

"Your naked body!"

"She's seen it before."

"No, did she catch you it the act!?"

"Of?"

"Whatever you were doing?"

"No, I did the dishes which lead to a water fight, my shirt was sticking to me and Wataru laid them out in the sun so we had a decent excuse to be..."

"Indecent?"

"I like what you did there, so yeah, if the kitchen wasn't in such a state we wouldn't have heard her coming, that would have been embarrassing… I feel bad now that I think about it, I left him to tidy up our mess and he never cu-came."

"Did he seem bothered?"

"No, not at all he was fine with it… He seemed even hornier than usual too... I think he liked waiting though… I said no a lot but he never gave up… Since I was trying to make him study, maybe it would be nice to see the effects of his determination put into his school work."

 _Sounds like the beginnings of a bit of basic foreplay… That's interesting..._

 _It was Mizusawa's idea to do the operant conditioning thing… It worked when I promised to do something Etchi if he worked well up to lunch but, I never followed all the way through with it… I hope the conditioning still takes effect…_

"You don't have long to go, it's two weeks now,"

"I've written a schedule which just involves reading and re-reading plus testing. There is time just as long as he sticks to it."

"I'm glad to see you're being optimistic."

"There's no other way to do it, negativity leads to negative outcomes, plus you've got to remember that it's not just his future, it's our future. I'm following your advice with this."

"I hope it goes well for you."

"Me too, I'm going to check in with him at break, we can't have any more setbacks. My schedule has him working at all times outside of lessons."

"What?"

"With regular breaks, studies show that you don't do well unless you break."

"Can you see him actually doing all that."

"No, but this is the best I can do, make suggestions and the less thought he has to put into picking up a book the better. If I could manually put the information into his head I would but it's all down to him."

"Good luck."

"There is no luck when in comes to examinations, the key is to be aware of everything that could come up otherwise you're just asking to fail."

"You seem like a tough teacher."

"You don't even know the half of it! I was much more relaxed when it came to the English test but that grade counts towards nothing if he fails the rest."

"I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of Nippori-sensei." He jokes.

"Don't call me that."

"Why not?"

"It's personal."

"Oh, I get it."

 _Role play too!? These guys are soooo advanced..._

"Oh, do you?"

"When you said 'hornier than usual' you meant he was trying to seduce Nippori-sensei?"

"It's not funny."

"At least you stood your ground it's hard not to give into a persistent top."

"He's not a top."

"So, _you're_ the top?" He chuckles.

 _I wish he wouldn't laugh… I need to stand up to him._

"We agreed to share,"

"Oh yeah, now I remember, it's still hard to get it, into my head that when the time comes you'll 'both' top."

"There are no labels. That's a backwards way of thinking."

"Sorry, I'm just speaking from experience. There has to be one of you that dominates or submits more than the other, though."

"Explain."

"A dominant person likes to be in control..."

"That's me!" Nippori interrupts.

"So, are you saying Wataru's never pinned you down, pushed you up against a wall or been the one to start something Etchi? It sounds like he tried to initiate this weekend."

 _He did ever one of those things this weekend…_

"Yeah, but we do that equally, like I said, we don't need labels."

"Ok, I want to believe you, just one more question."

"Fine, but I doubt I'll change my mind."

"Do you think there's any chance that you don't like the labels because you're scared of perfectly fitting the description of one of them and not being satisfied by the outcomes?"

 _It's so hard trying to stand up to someone without an argument, I don't even know I thought like that… Maybe he is speaking from experience… I know he doesn't like the position he's in either…_ Mizusawa gets concerned as Nippori seemingly ignores the question then, he notices the worried look on his face.

. _..What if he's right?… What if they're all right? How can I be comfortable with this? What if I want to change, but can't?… I'm the only one that disagrees…_ Nippori considers all the times he has been 'confused' for a vulnerable person or a submissive person and can't hold back the tears as his inner turmoil continues to wreak havoc with his emotions. . _..My sister thinks Mizusawa's a predator and I'd be the type to fall for it… Mizusawa still insists I'm not dominant and I can't argue with him… Wataru told me not to change and to accept who I am… Which means I_ _ **am**_ _the only one that disagrees… I can't face this confrontation anymore._

"Pokei-chan!" Mizusawa tries to comfort him and gets pushed away. Nippori runs away.

I _need to get these thoughts out of my head… I don't wanna seem rude, but I need to be alone... I would be able to take his advice if what Mizusawa just said didn't make so much sense…I need to be able to cope better with things like this… The words of others shouldn't have such an effect on me... Next time someone says something cruel I have to avoid doing this... I absolutely will not cry!... At least I hope I don't… I'm just letting myself down by being so emotional… When I was with Wataru it all seemed so easy…_

When Mizusawa finally catches up with him he's snivelling to himself in an alleyway.

"It's flexible you know Pokei-chan all you need is good communication." He cautiously looks up at Mizusawa.

"The labels may be there but they don't define you. I'm gay, so what? It's not who I am, it's part of who I am. I know you don't agree with stereotypes but this is different, you might have a particular label but it's your job to define _it_." Nippori wipes his face. "You can deviate from the standards and push it to the limit. Having a label may impact you, but it never limits you. Not everyone benefits from a label, but it's there, so you belong to a group, I'm in the same one but we're still so different. It's a fifty, fifty split, you _can_ exist outside of it, but is that really you?"

"You've really got a talent for arguing, it's a shame you missed your chance for debating society." He stands up and dusts himself off. "You've really convinced me I'm submissive. But I'll definitely be by far the most dominant one you've ever seen."

"I'd say we were competing for the same title but Yama-chan is no way as lenient or understanding as Wataru." They approach the school.

"I know." He quips. "I also know that submissive is code for bottom."

They move on to lessons.


	75. Chapter 75

"Aniki!"

"Nippori! How was work?"

"It was fine, I'm looking forward to next weekend, though."

"The faster that comes the sooner I run out of time to catch up."

"Didn't you read your timetable? We're going to study at school. That's what I came to talk to you about, I'll need to see you this lunch time and every other, that's not training for the official tumbling competition. I've finished debating for the year so, I can come and see you."

"Where?"

"The library."

"What's it like in there?"

"Have you never been? Where do you think I go when you have you're meeting with Mizusawa?"

 _I practically live there, the librarians know me by name…_

"Oops, I forgot we have our last lesson today."

"You should go, but be quick, whatever you miss, you'll have to make up in your own time."

"So, coming to see you will give me a better chance?"

"Obviously, I'm just giving you direction but it should help."

"When do I have my lunch?"

"I made you some Onigiri."

"That's sweet of you. I love you Keiji-kun!"

"What are you doing? I love you too but it's none of these people's business, that _has_ to be private. The only time I kiss you in public is on our wedding day."

"Sorry, I got carried away, that is a private thing isn't it? I think Mizusawa said something about it only being ok to do Etchi stuff if no one can see."

"That sounds about right. You're studying at home aren't you?"

 _I can't focus on a book it sends me to sleep it's not like I didn't try but that nonsense is impossible alone…_

"I'm taking regular breaks!"

 _Although this one has been ongoing since I last saw you..._

"Good because it's important to find a balance that suits you."

"I'm really sure mine suits me."

 _Doing nothing, like before…_

"I glad to hear! Quick question, which fear did the US have during the cold war that lead to the Vietnam war?"

"I thought I only had to remember two wars."

"Buu! Fear of the domino effect, which means communism is spreading. That's not good enough, it looks like you didn't really pay attention to the timetable, am I going to have to keep and eye on you?"

"Maybe… Or maybe you need to punish me?" He hints.

"I know you well enough to understand that studying is punishment enough. It's not in my nature to make you suffer any more than you need to."

"What would Nippori-sensei do?"

"Tell your mother so she can deal with you."

"I mean in an Etchi way."

 _I don't have time for this..._

"I need to talk to my biology teacher about the test I missed when my little brother was ill."

"Being ignored by you is punishment enough, maybe now, I can stop feeling guilty about not doing any work."

 _My conditioning failed… Maybe I accidently punished him, by denying him even after he did as he told, because I lost track of time… Now he's even less interested in trying to do his work... I need to be more consistent…_

"Remember to make your lesson with Mizusawa as short as possible even if it's the most important part, I'll be waiting for you at the back near the window."

"See you then!" Wataru kisses his hand and blows it in Nippori's direction, subtly. Nippori catches it and blows it back. Mizusawa watches in disbelief.

 _Those two are too cute for words… So much so it makes me feel ill… They're lucky no one else is paying attention… That was too obvious…_

"Oi, Mizusawa! Snap out of it! You don't actually have a thing for that yankee do you?" Hamada rudely interrupts his internal monologue.

"What are you talking about?"

"You don't need to deny it." Matsumoto adds.

"What do you guys know? You can't prove anything."

"We know you don't like the red head." Endo intervenes.

"At least we hope you don't."

"Oh, Tanaka do you have a little bit more confidence now you know your love is actually not unrequited? Ow! What was that for?"

"I haven't told him yet!" Endo stands to leave. "And for your information, he was just worried you were cheating on Kiyama! Because that's the kind of gentle person he his! You really have no delicacy!" He pushes him then runs away, Tanaka follows. He stands up and dusts himself off before remembering what he just heard. He grabs Hamada by the collar, pushes him from his position on top of the picnic table and backs him into a wall.

"How the flip did you know it was him!?"

"I think you should be a bit more discrete in the locations you chose to meet to fu..." He chokes as Mizusawa clamps down on his neck.

"You friggin' loud mouth! This better not get out!" Hamada starts to fight back which catches the attention of Yamaguchi-sensei. Matsumoto steps in.

"Can we just calm down, please!? No one else at the school knows, The information might have slipped into the hands of Washizu."

"Again!? I'll kill you!"

"You're not helping!" The two start scrapping on the floor.

"But if it's his parents you're worried about, there's no way they could possibly find out from this." The two are restrained by members of staff.

 _Yankumi is stronger than she looks!_

"We're friends, don't worry this is a harmless play fight." Hamada lies with the cool air of an affectionless psychopath.

"It didn't look harmless to me. Mizusawa-kun, what do you say?"

"Just let me wipe the grin off his face and I'll forgive him! He hasn't even said sorry."

"This isn't a joke Mizusawa! I know you like to banter, but you could be suspended from tumbling if this is true."

"Sorry, Yankumi!"

"Now, shake hands and learn to express yourself through words."

"Sorry, mate I am a bit of a loud mouth, I'm lucky you forgave me the first time."

"I'll forgive you again, now I know you actually have some remorse."

"I was just a bit jealous since I found out you kept 'that' secret for so long, you're my best friend you know? It hurt!" He slaps him one last time before they hug it out.

"I thought you were _my_ best friend!"

"You're different!"

"So, he's the one from the text messages?"


	76. Chapter 76

"So, he's the one from the text messages?"

"What are you on about miss?"

"You know, on Tuesday?"

"Eh?"

"When I confiscated your phone… Where's your little friend, Endo? From the bottom set? He knows what I'm talking about."

 _What did I have on my screen when I handed it over..._

"No! Miss, we're just friends I swear!"

"Are you **Y** ama-chan?"

"How did you know I was secretly called **H** ama-chan?" Hamada looks at Mizusawa questioningly.

"I'll let you off with the fight, I didn't know the likes of you could be so passionate!" She saunters away, whistling to herself.

 _No wonder she was so lenient on Tuesday... With all that going on it'll be impossible to convince her that was just regular old platonic bromance… At least it wasn't a bad reaction… She's sympathetic, but I've got bigger fish to fry._

"For the record, we weren't shagging in a cubicle, I've got more decency than that,"

"Sorry, for shouting when I should have been apologising,"

"I didn't do anything wrong, but you were really serious, that hurt."

"I thought you already knew I liked hitting people… How did that teacher know my secret nickname? It's the strangest thing, she's never taught me, though she does seem like my kind of teacher."

"So, you're Hama-chan and he's Ma-chan!? That's priceless!"

"You really need to watch your mouth! Look where it got you." He grinds his knuckle into his scalp while wrapping his arm around his neck playfully. While he's actually being quite rough it looks like a heartwarming scene to Yamaguchi-sensei.

"You're one to talk!"

"Can I interrupt a second,"

"I just had him where I wanted him, Ma-chan!"

"You take the mick out of our names, but you were clearly texting Kiyama!"

"And?"

"It probably had something pervy in it!"

"Can you really expect anything less from him, though? We knew he was a hentai long before we knew he was gay. What's your point?"

"He calls Kiyama Yama-chan, so what's his nickname for you?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, I've missed out on the gossip about Kiyama for however long and now you're being this secretive? I have to know!"

"He calls me Mizusawa."

"In bed!?"

"Not even Taku!?" Mizusawa shakes his head.

"How long have you been together?"

"A good two years. It'll be three in December. "

 _And we were friends from the September of that year..._

"That's longer than me and Ma-chan."

"Oi!?￢ﾀﾝ

"It's too late now! There's gotta be something."

"Don't rub it in."

"Actually now that I think of it, he never uses my actual name when we're doing it actually."

"What does he call you?"

"That's personal."

"How long have you known me?"

"Since primary school."

"So, doesn't that mean you can trust me?"

"I suppose so."

"Ma-chan can you leave us for a second."

"Where do I go?"

"Borrow Yankumi's binoculars and you can see from there."

"That's harsh, I don't like it when both of you pick on me. You two being alone like this is quite suspicious, I don't blame her. Maybe I will join her! Not because you said but because I've got nothing better to do." He makes a peace sign and points at his eyes then at them repeatedly. "I _will_ talk to her!"

"We know!"

"I'm not gonna deny any of her assumptions!"

"Go do one, you drama queen!"

"I love you too!" He retorts.

"You guys have such a great dynamic." He chuckles.

"What are you hiding then?" He gets straight to the point, quite bluntly.

"Out of the bedroom he calls me by my family name with no honorifics but, I get the idea that he says it in more of a rough lad way than a familiar way… In it I wouldn't say he has a nickname for me but the things he says follow a similar pattern."

"Just spill the beans!"

"Calm down I have to give you a back story first. I thought it was all part of his dirty talk, and _believe_ me, he's got a filthy mouth."

"I'm listening."

"But, just then I realised they're all derogatory terms for a female."

"Ha, I knew you were the bottom, I didn't say anything, since it wasn't _that_ obvious but..." Hamada tries to contain his laughter when he sees Mizusawa's serious face.

"I've topped, but it was just once and recently."

 _It's nice to finally have one of these conversations with someone that actually has a clue, it's at times like this when I really need advice._

"I can imagine it being like that with a yankee. I can imagine a lot of things about how _rough_ and..." Mizusawa stops him.

"Actually, his parents are homophobic. I've only just realised how much that affects him."

"It all adds up, he is probably so ashamed that he is gay that he won't even admit it to himself. How was it when you topped?"

"It was a complete disaster. he was like a Maguro on'na and didn't speak to me after or even..."

"Not even once!?" Hamada pats him on the back sympathetically. "It looks like you do need to communicate more."

"You're right, I know he has issues but it is my job to help him deal with them."

Yamaguchi-sensei and Matsumoto observe the scene unfolding from a nearby hill.

"They're so cute together, aren't they, miss?"

"If they weren't I've been mad at them for excluding a little sweetheart like you."

"Don't make me blush." The bell goes and Matsumoto walks up to Hamada. "Ha ha! You two really did make a great couple from up on that hill. Yamaguchi-sensei agrees."

"I didn't think you were serious. Kudos."

"Thanks Hamada, I might not have worked out my issues yet, but at least I know how. I think I'm going to save getting deep for after graduation." They hug each other, goodbye.

"You really don't care what miss thinks, do you?"

"I don't care what anyone thinks as long as it doesn't affect me. I could have been suspended for that fight and got a detention before the weekend, this facade can only be beneficial to me."

"Smell you later."

"Same to you."


	77. Chapter 77

Since he has an appointment to make, Wataru makes and effort to see Mizusawa reasonably promptly. They bump into each other in the hallway and Mizusawa leans in to whisper.

"I heard you've had a pretty rough weekend."

"You don't even know the half of it."

"You enjoyed yourself didn't you?"

"Obviously! I can't get enough of Nippori."

"I get that much, you didn't manage to get off once did you? He's actually really sorry but you're not too bothered, which is impressive."

"Should I be bothered?"

"Most people would be."

"Why?"

"Don't you feel like you're missing out on something?"

"I didn't sleep as much as usual and I ended up doing school work in my free time."

 _That seems to be the only thing bugging him..._

"What would you rather've done?"

"Nothing if it doesn't involve spending time with him."

"Wasn't there something you wanted to do? I bought the stuff, you owe me five hundred yen." He opens his frog, Naruto themed wallet and a moth flies out.

 _Thank goodness Nippori made my lunch today… He's so considerate…_ Wataru becomes aware of the heads in the hallway, turning to focus on them.

"Mizusawa, be more thoughtful when you speak, they think you're trying to sell me some contraband."

"Like what? I'm not a yankee."

"They don't know that."

"You seem paranoid… Do you watch a lot of crime series? "

"They wouldn't think of looking in this direction if they weren't worried… I don't need your stuff!" He shouts up and everyone goes back to their conversations. Wataru disappears into the crowd.

Mizusawa finally catches up to him on the roof.

"You definitely watch a lot of those shows, no wonder you knew the word contraband."

Mizusawa tries and fails to push Wataru's buttons. _What's up with him I know lad banter prevents us from needing to get offended but I can still get Hamada mad and he's my best mate…_

"I only pick up odd bits from when my mum watches. I personally don't watch crime, I like anything and everything Yakuza, there is some crime language in it, I suppose." He looks off into the distance not reacting to Mizusawa's comments on his vocabulary which Mizusawa clearly just assumed to be limited.

"You need the lube don't you?"

 _Maybe he is secretly upset about something that happened on the weekend…_

"Come on now, I've had to deal with more than my fair share of stroppy people today."

"Mizusawa, he won't sleep with me…"

"Eh?"

"Until I graduate."

"Oh yeah..."

"It's your fault."

"Sorry, about that mate."

"I'm happy to wait, as long as I'm with him… I think I'm obsessed with him, but that doesn't matter because he's mine..." Wataru, ponders aloud, while laughing contentedly to himself over the side of the roof. He remembers his reason for being there. "Sorry Mizusawa, this is going to have to be our last session, Nippori wants me to spend my spare time at school _learning…_ " He shudders at the thought. "But, I'll do it because he'll be there… He tells me debating society got suspended for exams, so he'll be there to watch over me. Since I ignored the timetable he made, for after he went to work…"

"He wouldn't worry about you if he didn't care..."

"That's a coincidence, he said that this weekend, I finally get it now… He doesn't have anyone that worries about him at home… If he wants to do well he has to use his own initiative, which is impressive… If feel bad for not being able to live up to his expectations but I just don't have that drive in me..."

"He'll be there either way."

 _This is difficult to accept... It was shocking to see how the effects of ignorance could lead to innocence but… I'm finding it so hard to come to terms with their sensitive sides… They're people like the rest of us, I just need to get that into my head..._

"You're right… I'm still finding it hard to believe how lucky I am… He knows all my flaws and loves me unconditionally. It's like he can't see them!... Plus when we're together I don't have to put on an act like I've seen on TV, I'm just myself… My favourite thing is that when we're alone together I can relax just as much as I do when I'm by myself."

"That sounds perfect to me, you've basically just explained that he won't have much of an issue with you struggling with exams."

"I just don't want to let him down."

"You just said it yourself, he loves you unconditionally!"

"Thanks Mizusawa, I'll see you around." He shakes Mizusawa's hand energetically.

"Don't you wanna know how to do it?"

"Sleep together? I don't need to know until I've graduated."

"It's not far off you know,"

"I've got a bad memory, tell me later."

"I here, whenever you have questions."

"Thanks, that means a lot."

They part ways as Mizusawa further contemplates how sensitive individuals can be despite their appearances.

 _Nippori was on to something when he decided to ignore stereotypes… I couldn't have been more wrong about either of them… Imagine all the doors I've closed, by letting my judgements affect my actions… How many more friends could I have made if my opinions of people weren't based on schemas that may be representative of the majority but single out so many unrelated individuals?... People aren't going to wear labels saying 'we have mutual interests' or 'I'm easy to talk to'... Their outsides can only give us hints, so we shouldn't rely on that… I'm glad I met these two… Maybe I can be wiser in the decisions I make at uni… Yes, the friends I've made are a select few and we get on well but, before this, I never even looked at Wataru… We're all people why, must we be divided?_


	78. Chapter 78

Hi Nippori,"

"Hi aniki, I know doing work is dull but it'll pay off."

"Because you need make an effort if you want results?"

"Exactly, here."

"What's in it?"

"Sorry it's just salt, I ran out of... "

"I don't mind,"

"I was gutted since this is the first time you're trying my cooking, I'll bring you something better tomo..." Wataru stops his lips with a shushing finger.

"I don't need you to buy something from a shop, as long as you made it with love, I'll enjoy it."

"I hope you don't think you can sweet talk yourself out of doing work today."

"I meant it." He takes a large bite to prove it, then starts to do work with Nippori.

Later that day Nippori discusses the choice he made to make Wataru wait.

"It's not that long to wait, and he didn't seem too bothered."

"He's just glad to be with you, which is a sign that he really cares about you… Seeing as you've got even more time to prepare than I thought, there's something I'd like to give you."

"Ok! Thank you Mizusawa-sensei." He holds out his hands expectantly.

"Sorry Pokei-chan, I don't have it with me."

"What is it?"

"It's a set of buttplugs that get progressively bigger. It was on offer when I went to buy the lube for Wataru and I couldn't resist, he says he doesn't need it anymore but you can have it. In my experience, you can never have enough."

"Thanks, where do you find these things?"

"An adult shop."

"Is that really what it's called?"

"That's the general name for them. Oh and don't rush with the butt plugs. It took you a while to get used to the first one."

"How will I know when to move on?"

"Judging from your progress before, only increase the size when you can put it in without crying."

"That'll take months,"

"You don't have to have sex the day after Wataru graduates."

"But I said..."

"Just make it that you don't have sex _unless_ he graduates, rather than you have sex _when_ he graduates."

"You have such good ideas and you're really looking out for me, like a real teacher… I've just realised something!"

"What?"

"I think the reason I didn't really care that Wataru wasn't ready or that the residential on Friday is slowing us down, wasn't just because I love Wataru and sex doesn't change that fact, maybe it's because _I_ wasn't ready."

"So, the longer you wait the happier you are?"

"Do you remember the discussion from this morning?"

"Yeah."

"You really taught me something!"

"You seemed pretty peeved to me."

"You actually taught me that in order to be compatible you have to be able to compromise!"

"So, being a bottom is a compromise for you?"

"Of course it is, when I decided to have sex the first time I didn't know what it was… Trying to do it so early was a bad mistake! Then when I found out what it was I was dead set on being the top and that was the only thing that made me feel happy to do it… The time I decided I was ready and told Wataru the only thing I really thought about was me doing it to him… I've never felt ready to have it done to me."

"I get you."

"There is no one else on this earth more perfect for me and I know how lucky I am but I only just managed to come to terms with the fact that everything isn't going to go my way."

"That's life, isn't it?"

"Exactly, thinking back to what you said when you laughed at me on the bridge for thinking I was the top, I can see how useless I'd be as a top."

"Don't say that, you just don't fit the standard. Isn't that the story of your life?"

"Maybe, but you basically told me I'm not good enough and I wanna be the best I can be, for Wataru."

"So, you make that sacrifice? For the sake of your love!? That is the most romantic thing I've ever heard!"

 _Rather than being an undesirable top, he chooses to be an amazing bottom because he'd be happier if someone else benefited… He's the most altruistic person I've ever met!_

"There are bigger sacrifices, nothing's gonna change, a wise person once told me labels don't define you. I'm still gonna push the boundaries."

"As expected of Pokei-chan!"

"I think the only way I was going wrong was being in denial, the only way to get over it is to come to terms with it."

"I proud of you Pokei-chan," Nippori hugs Mizusawa, unable to contain his happiness, at that moment he could imagine no greater feeling than being congratulated for something he really worked hard to achieve. His elation is interrupted by the tugging on his trouser leg of his youngest sister.

"Onii-san, why are you hugging the boy onee-san doesn't like? Again?"

"You hug your friends too, don't you?"

"I'm not that into physical contact."

"She uses such big words."

"Of course, she's _my_ sister, you can expect great things to come from her!"

"You can't appeal to with you're accurate and encouraging praise~! Yes, I'll surely take over the world one day but... Oh, where was I? Oh yes blackmail, my favourite form of exploitation! Forget everything I just said."

"But we just heard it."

"All evil geniuses tell the victim their plans now, don't interrupt our conversation again loud mouth or I'll make you regret it." Mizusawa gasps, but she ignores him. "They're not boys." Nippori does as she tells him and carries on as if she never said her plans out loud, knowing full well he doesn't stand a chance at winning against her.

"But I am,"

"I wonder if she'd be mad if I told her..."

"Please don't."

"She really wears the trousers in your house doesn't she?"

"What do you mean by that? She's nine and only a little bit cheeky." He winks at her. "How much do you want?"

"Two hundred yen, I wanna buy a tsum tsum gashapon for my bag."

"Ok, here don't take too long."

"I'm impressed, she's got quite the knack for getting what she wants."

"She's a clever girl, isn't she?"

"Stop patronising me or I'll cut you in the night!"

"She's almost as threatening as my big sister."

"Oh, I believe you are mistaken Mizusawa-kun, these aren't threats."

"You're really condescending."

"I know."

"Like Yama-chan's mum."

"She sounds like a lovely person."

"She's the governor of Tokyo."

"Eh! Did you by any chance mean Kiyama!? I idolise her! She's so strong and dependable. I have so much respect for her as my senpai, but when I take over the world..."

"Stop fangirling and buy your thingy."

"Thanks for the money." She skips away cheerfully, while maniacally laughing.

"Sorry about that, she absolutely loves to speak her mind and as you can imagine she likes a good fight so by retaliating you're just indulging her."

"Sounds a bit like me."

"I'm sure you'd get on well."

"I think she'll make a good lawyer, that's what I wanna do."

"No, she's not kidding when she says she wants to take over the world."

"She really had a lot of confidence, like me again. I can just see you complimenting her and boost her self esteem. I think you're probably her favourite sibling."

"I think she's always been confident, I just support her as best as I can. She's always known she could do anything she put her mind to. Her favourite Disney film is Mulan. I'm glad she'd rather fantasise about strong powerful women, than good looking guys like my other little sister."

"My sister fantasizes about women too, not the same way you mean."

"She wants to emulate them, well she has ambitions of surpassing them. I'd rather she dreamt about being powerful than being protected. I really respect her."

"I respect her too, even though she's so small, all she had to do was threaten you with telling on you to Hinako-chan."

"Can you blame me?"

 _She did chase me out the house in your defence... That was a bit of a role reversal, the younger sister protecting the older brother from boys… It's kind of funny looking back on it... She is quite the force to be reckoned with..._

"She really does wear the trousers, Hinako, it's quite contemporary, a bit like my mum, except she's still a teenage girl. I'm impressed, even if the feeling's not mutual."

"What do trousers have to do with anything?"

"Typically men wear trousers and so, in the same way, they're the heads of the house."

"Like my dad?"

"Yeah, but I was commenting on how you spend your time obeying your sister."

"So, she's smart and nearly always right."

"You're the big brother."

"So?"

"You're right to question me, being in charge has nothing to do with gender. If this isn't a patriarchal society why do we say these things and have these assumptions?"

"What're you on about?"

"I'm sure we've all done it."

"Done what?"

"There might be a time when you see a girl doing something like... I don't know going to an engineering college and you assume she's at the wrong door or she's receptionist."

"Why would I do that? I know what girls like capable of."

"What?"

"Everything we are. If not more… I think it would be obvious if you spent more time with them... I don't get you."

"You know how there are double standards?"

"No,"

"How boys shouldn't hit girls?"

"They shouldn't, what's the big deal?"

"Girls can hit boys."

"No, they can't. No one can hit anyone, no matter what their gender is. It's still wrong. Boys can't hit other boys and girls can't hit other girls."

"What are you on about?"

"That's what they're taught at school… 'Keep hands and feet and unkind comments to yourself.'"

"You're talking about kids?"

"Yeah, those are the rules they have to follow. They don't just apply to one half of the population that would be silly!"

"You're right but I suppose some people just too immature to stick to that..."

"Oi, nii-chan, what's this guy doing here?"

"He's going home, I normally walk with him since he lives somewhere around here, you know that."

"I do, I just thought you'd keep away from him since he's trying to seduce you."

"Kids are really honest aren't they?" He chuckles. "Wait, how does he know that word!? He's like five."

"I'm nearly seven and nee-chan said it when she was cursing your name... A lot!"

"Mizusawa is never gonna do anything like that, you hear? He wouldn't he even think about it."

 _Wouldn't I?..._

"They have brains like sponges don't they?"

"That's why you have to be careful with what you say around them. "

"That much is true, I'm gonna leave you to it, all these kids are cramping my style."

"See you."


	79. Chapter 79

**Here ends another super bonus week and as is tradition, I'll end it with a double.**

That evening at the dinner table of the Nippori house Imouto-san asks."How was school?"

The youngest sister doesn't give anything away as they agreed and Otouto-san doesn't have anything particularly interesting to say but the youngest seems to have seen something he thinks Imouto-san will want to hear. "I had a normal day today accept when I came outside nii-chan was talking to that guy you don't like."

"They're friends, they can talk, stop being such a tell-tale-tit.

"Don't be so harsh on him, I hope he always tells the truth."

"So it's good to tell the truth, is it onii-san?"

"I don't see why not."

"I think you'll find the story a bit more interesting when you hear what I've got to say about it." She raises her eyebrows and hints by coughing.

"I already gave you your pocket money, you can't expect to collect the full set of a blind bag, every time."

"I completed that already, I want Disney gashapon now."

"This extortion." She sticks her tongue out before saying.

"I know isn't it great?"

"This is why I'd rather not be compared to a girl, you guys are so cruel, even to each other."

"Kaori-chan is pretty decent, don't look too deep into this, she's the exception."

"Yeah, I'm and exceptionally _evil_ genius, to be."

"If you weren't so different from other little girls I would've told you you're not evil, but that'd crush your dreams… You did con me before."

"Ah, speaking of conning people cough up and I'll spill the beans."

"I'll double your pocket money next month if your information is worthwhile."

"So, I'll get ten thousand yen!?"

"Yeah."

"Boo, that's chump change."

"You don't swindle people outside the family, do you?" Nippori interjects, concerned.

"Do I look like a scam artist?"

"Not really."

"That's why it works so well."

"I'm not going any higher."

"Fine onii-san hugged that boy again then bribed me with two hundred yen."

"That wasn't a bribe, that was and incentive to stay quiet."

"That's the same thing! So you admit it!? Why did you try to hide it? What's the big deal? You can have the money."

"Yay!"

"I didn't want you to get upset again."

"Why? Was I right about him?"

"No,"

"Sorry, no extra money,"

"What?"

"The information wasn't that helpful to me. If I get anymore attitude from you, you'll be doing the dishes tonight."

"It's ok, that's my job."

"You stay out of this."

"But Keiji said..."

"Keiji!" He gasps, could it be that his younger sister had been faking respect for her elder brother?

"Don't get all sensitive now," She retorts.

"How can one so small be so mean?"

"How can one so old be such a big girl's blouse?" She has a hunger for conflict so feeds off the drama, whereas it's not in Nippori's nature to argue, he's more the type to have his feelings hurt and retreat from the situation.

"Sorry… I shouldn't have stereotyped you." Imouto-san can't help but marvel at the extent to which their personalities are contrasted.

"You two really are polar opposites!... A machiavellian primary school girl and a naive high school boy?" She muses aloud.

"If you're going to compliment me, at least use words I know."

"You're cunning and dishonest."

"Yes, that's a pretty good summary of me."

"She'll grow out of it, though?" He asks, hopefully.

"We'll see about that, you're both inaccurate representations of your ages and genders."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." They both respond in unison.

"Maybe, you are alike."

"I'm a nonconformist and I love her the way she is."

"Aww, you _love_ me!~"

"Don't take the mick," Imouto-san intervenes.

"Fine, in all seriousness _is_ being myself is wrong then I don't wanna be right! Plus, it's nice to have a brother that..."

 _Is easily manipulated…_

"Listens to me." He stands up and walks over to her. "Don't you make that face me! why are you opening your arms? What's got into you!?" She makes a start to move away but it's too late. She trips and face-plants on to the floor.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine,"

"You're brave, aren't you?"

"It's just a bump...I _am_ nine you know!"

"You're not crying,"

"I haven't cried since I was three."

 _Not since mum died…_

"You're so tough!"

"What do you think you're doing? Don't display your affection! Ah! I'm melting!" He embraces her and nuzzles her as he says.

"Anytime, sweetheart."Completely disregarding the true sentiment she expressed.

"Oh, how I sometimes wish you weren't such a loving, kind, amazing brother!" She huffs.

"Now that you've had your sentimental moment, or whatever 'that' was... You can clear the table and get on with the dishes!"

"But Keiji said..."

"No 'ifs' no 'buts'."

"She's not old enough to have to do chores."

"Stop being so soft."

"I'm not soft, I just don't know how you have the heart to discipline them so harshly."

"Like I always tell you, it's what mum would have done... How was your day?"

"Not bad, I'm trying to help Wataru graduate, so I'm spending lunch times with him starting from today."

"It's a bit last minute don't you think?"

"We still can't give up,"

"I like your resolve."

"Thanks, there's a lot on the line so we'll keep trying. Today we did..." And they continue like that until just before the next weekend. Wataru still doesn't manage to do anything at home but Nippori is patient and forgiving.


	80. Chapter 80

Yuta finishes the Friday meeting with a reminder to be outside the school quite early on Saturday. "We're all going to be here for eight-forty-five, then we leave at nine."

"This is going to be a long weekend."

"Ryosuke, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all, it'll only seem long if you have a bad attitude, we're lucky to be invited with our track record, it's the last chance to demonstrate our skill before the next competition." Satoshi speaks up to defend his favourite senpai.

"I'll be there, but I can't promise anything about my attitude."

The following day, an hour before they are expected to go to sleep the team take a shower.

"We've never seen each other naked before." Yuta says, getting straight to the point, exhausted from a long day of trying to motivate everybody.

 _Oh no!... This is it, I'm finally having my courage put to the test…_

"Yeah, this is a big step for the team," Kaneko ads.

"We at least have those little white towels at the onsen." They all joke together, only one of them is worried.

"Whatever happens, nobody laugh." Nippori pipes in.

"Why would we laugh?" It took a lot of guts to say what he said, he doesn't manage to answer the question out loud.

 _Because my sister did..._

"Yeah you're right, there might not be a reason, but the rule still stands." Mizusawa has a feeling Nippori is trying to be brave and doesn't want to have another sensitive moment, especially not in front of the rest of the team.

"What if someone makes a joke?"

"That's fine." Says Nippori. Mizusawa decides to make it clear.

"I think he's trying to say, let's not take the mick out of each other."

"But that's what lads do." Wataru argues.

"We're not all as thick skinned as you." Satoshi explains.

"Now, I'm just curious about what he's hiding." Kiyama subtly hums in Mizusawa's ear which makes him jump. He turns around to reply, but he's already gone. They start to get undressed. Nippori steers clear of Wataru to avoid any mishaps. He finds himself next to Satoshi. They have similar body types and since they shared the same views in the discussion before he doesn't feel threatened. Nippori thinks back to the leaflet Mizusawa gave him all those weeks ago.

 _At least my voice is broken... Maybe nii-chan was right when he said I wasn't the latest to start?_ He sneaks a sidewards glance at Satoshi's naked body. _No, he just sounds like that... I really am the only one… At least I know he's kind._ He stays by Satoshi's side, timing it so that when he turns around he can follow, close behind and not draw any attention to himself. _Hopefully, the shower is very steamy… No it's not! I can see everything!... not that I ever wanted to…_

Everything is pretty much as you would expect.

Mizusawa seems to be the only one with eyes on Nippori he knows he's gonna get peek so leaves him to his attempt to remain hidden. Inside the shower his anticipation builds.

 _Yama-chan was right... Now I do really wanna see 'what he's hiding'_ … His eyes wander as he tries to think of something else. _I am practically as big as Wataru!? What's Nippori talking about? He must be tiny! No wonder he was self-conscious earlier..._


	81. Chapter 81

Nippori does a quick scan of the room. It seems as though people like to judge others when they feel self conscious, unfortunately, they feel the need to compare. If more people were content with their own image, they wouldn't have anything to say about the way others look. Whether they are critical or jealous, it always stems from a feeling of inadequacy within themselves. Maybe, insults shouldn't be taken to heart, because the chances are those saying them are criticising themselves even more than they're intending to insult with their projection, not that that makes it acceptable.

 _Kaneko is quite a bit smaller than nii-chan… And oh so hairy… Yuta is decent… Mizusawa is almost as big as nii-chan, but Kiyama!?... That's the biggest ever seen!_

"Ryosuke, you dye your hair too!?" He blurts out, immediately slapping the palms of both his hands over his mouth in regret.

"I'm amazed that you are not bald on your head too!" He says this without thinking. A few people have a laugh at his expense and by the time they've wiped away the tears he's in the corner. Both Wataru and Mizusawa instinctively, make a start, to cheer him up but by that point, Satoshi is on the scene. Wataru glares at Mizusawa for having the same instinct to take care of him and trying to do his job for him. Feeling sorry about their actions, they don't interfere with the conversation.

"Don't cry." He says, while squatting to comfortingly pat him on the back.

"I'm not crying, it's just water from the shower." It's true but Satoshi thinks he's lying.

 _I suppose Yankees have feelings too... I'm going to be there for him because I know what he's going through…_

"You're a bit younger than me aren't you?"

"No, you're the youngest on the tumbling team..."

 _By a year..._

 _How can I convince him he has nothing to worry about?_

"You've still got plenty of time." Nippori doesn't respond, so Satoshi prepares to have a heart to heart. He sits against the wall, adjacent to the corner so Nippori can see his face.

"They had showers at my middle school and the same thing happened to me."

"Really?" He looks up.

"Yeah except they weren't my friends, so they weren't sorry and when they laughed they meant it. Ryosuke is sorry, you know?"

"Is he?"

"Yeah and even if he wasn't you can only do one thing and that's stand up and take it. That makes you stronger than anyone that picks on you... At least that's what I've been told…" He looks at Nippori's confused face and nods reassuringly. "You don't stop growing until you're eighteen and nineteen is your physical peak. I felt like you do now, but I grew. You've got a chance."

"Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't have been, if I hadn't lived it. All you need to do is learn to be comfortable in your own skin, until then, stand up and be brave." Satoshi hugs him. Now that he is standing up, Ryosuke approaches him to apologise.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to say that. It's just in my nature to not take anything seriously."

"I'm fine, thanks for saying sorry, though I wasn't mad at you anything. You made a good joke, I just felt sad because I don't like being made fun of. But Satoshi says I shouldn't have taken it to heart, since you didn't mean it."

"I'm glad you're ok, I feel guilty. I should have realised that was something you were ashamed of."

"I'm more embarrassed than ashamed, but you don't need to feel guilty because I forgive you."

"Sorry, it's probably not _the_ most stupid thing ever to assume this is my natural hair colour, since I _did_ go through the effort of dying my eyebrows too. Wataru wouldn't let me go near his when I dyed his hair red, in case I 'blinded' him." They share a laugh and Ryosuke pats Nippori on the back. They shake hands and Mizusawa finally manages to get an eyeful.

 _It's more magnificent than I imagined!... That is the image of perfection, right there!... My mouth has never watered at the side of a flaccid penis before... I hope Wataru's grateful! Cor blimey! I have to tell him how amazing it is, so he doesn't feel so insecure... I'm really in awe nothing, could have prepared me for this!..._ While all the attention of the room is on the reconciliation Kiyama appears again out of nowhere, like a spirit and breathes into Mizusawa's ear.

"I can tell by the way your drooling over Nippori's bits that I'm not the only one who's a little bit jealous of the fact that Wataru gets to have a go on that..." He licks Mizusawa's ear before slapping his arse for good measure. He disappears just as easily as he appeared.

"Eh? Am I dribbling!?" He turns then shrugs to himself as he realises he was left again.

 _Of course not… Was I that obvious?... I think he was warning me, at least he gets where I'm coming from... I hope I can find somewhere private... We can't just have a weekend with no shagging and I really feel like topping again... I wonder how he'd react to me slapping his arse?..._

The shower finishes they all leave to dry off and put on their night clothes.

In the changing room, Mizusawa's first point of call is the locker next to Kiyama's where he had sneakily, strategically stashed his gear. He gets inappropriately close to Kiyama before not so seductively whispering into his ear. "Oi Yama-chan, wanna screw?"

"Screw yourself."

 _I didn't even tell him I was topping... What a spoil sport!..._

"Maybe I will!" He huffs. He changes his expression so that it doesn't reflect either his disappointment or sexual frustration and collects his stuff, before starting a conversation with Nippori.

"You should have more self confidence."

"Why?"

"Because you have an amazing body."

 _Does he really think he can cheer me up with all that superficial nonsense? I already told him looks don't matter to me... The way you look shouldn't affect your confidence..._

"Don't just compliment me to make me feel better, I'm over it anyway."

"I'm being honest. Wataru it's so lucky to have you, even Kiyama thinks that."

 _He told Kiyama? I'm glad they're as honest with each other as we are… Wataru did keep telling me how lucky he was…_

"Eh? When did you speak to him?"

"It's more like he spoke to me."

"No way!"

"Yes way and he even heard he's jealous! I won't quote.. what he said was a little bit too vulgar for my liking..."

"Are you for real?"

"I am, so next time someone laughs at you don't get hurt feelings."

"I'll try."

"Good and you should also realise that some people are just shocked and don't know how to react. What does that tell you?"

"They expect my ochinchin to be bigger, because I'm weird?"

"No, it tells you that they're not laughing at you. They never are!" Nippori spontaneously hugs Mizusawa.

"Thanks Mizusawa-sensei." He catches Wataru's eye and senses danger. As much as he knows Mizusawa has Kiyama, he still sees him as a threat, especially since he found out he's a hentai. He's fine with Satoshi, though, besides Nippori and Yuta, you won't find a more patient or trustworthy guy in the group. Mizusawa detaches himself from Nippori, knowingly and resumes getting dressed.

"Pokei-chan, I've noticed you've been avoiding Wataru is something up?"

 _Nothing's up for the time being…_

"I know if I go near him or look at him for too long...Something's gonna happen."

"I see."

"Normally, I'd have something to take my mind off him but I can't stop thinking about him... So I peek, and my heart goes dokidoki!... So, I stop looking before it's too late..."

"Yeah and you have no way to get rid of it,"

"Exactly!"

"What a pain! I get you, because he's right there, within your reach and you can't have him. I'm impressed that you managed to stop your urges for so long."

 _He's that sensitive to Wataru's presence and he's doing better than me?..._

"Actually, I was fine until the coach ran out of stuff to occupy us with."

"I see, but didn't you sit together on the coach here?"

"That's true!?"

"Why didn't you get excited then?"

"I don't know, maybe I was really looking forward being on the residential?"

"So? It doesn't make sense to me. How come you're having such a 'hard' time now?"

"That's a bit tricky to explain, most of the time I can't tell I'm doing it, but there's like a switch in my brain... Erm..."

"I get it, you would have been excited, the whole time you were with Wataru if you weren't distracted."

"Yeah, it's something like that." Nippori slicks back his hair into a neat ponytail, to sleep. He has an epiphany.

 _If Yama-chan ever wore his hair like that, his mother would cut it off while he was sleeping… There would be no apology or explanation… It would be 'his fault for growing it too long'..._

"On the way here I was actually having a go at him for not bringing any revision materials. Who does that?"

 _At this rate, he'll have to resit and we'll graduate together in a year..._

"In his defence, I didn't bring any work and neither did Yama-chan."

"So? Neither of you are failing in all but one subject."

"What's he best at?"

"Maths."

"You can still go places with Maths! Wait!? Wataru better at maths than me?"

 _Though, of course, Endo is the only one I speak to in the bottom set…_

"I could've sworn he said something about getting an eight out of one hundred on his last maths test."

"That was at the start of the year, he didn't even read the questions. He just filled the D circle every time. He would've kept being lazy like that, if Yamaguchi-sensei didn't give him a what for. He's actually enjoyed it since he started trying. That's why he's not in the bottom set with you."

"Ok, now I get it."

"You can't graduate with only one pass, I've got _my_ work! Oh yeah! That's what I'll do, good talk Mizusawa-sensei. I found a distraction!"

"The coach said twenty minutes of recreation before lights out."

"Thanks for telling me." He yawns.

 _Forget revision, I need to go to sleep before the lights go off or I won't sleep at all._


	82. Chapter 82

Faced with a few yoga mats, and the cold hard floor of the gym Yuta prepares himself to make an inspiring speech which should help settle the team without a fuss.

"I know it's been a long day and we haven't managed to do any tumbling... Or even touch the mat… But tomorrow we've got a chance to prove ourselves!... We all need to be at our best, so let's just make the most of the fact that we are here together as a team and get a good night's sleep!"

"But it's draughty." Ryosuke complains.

"Sorry, about the bad sleeping arrangement but the school didn't have the budget to give both teams accommodation."

"I wanna go home." Satoshi sees his favourite Senpai being disrespected and his other side comes out again.

"Who are you!? The Queen of England!? He said there's nothing he can do. So, why don't you man up and stop being so spoilt!?"

"You did it again!" Nippori whispers. "I wish I could stand up the people like you do!"

"I've just got a strong sense of justice." He shouts up. "Does anyone else have any objections!?" They all shake their heads, not wanting to risk facing Satoshi's wrath.

Only Nippori speaks." I'm fine, I'll fall asleep anywhere. I even woke up once with my face buried in Wataru's mum's boobs."

"You're sick Nippori! That's a classic but don't dish out what you can't take!" Ryosuke jokes, putting his arm around Nippori's neck. "Do you need some aloe vera for that sick burn?" He shouts to Wataru. "That's the most original 'your mum' I've ever heard! It almost sounded like you were telling the truth!" Nippori starts to speak, but by then Ryosuke has already moved on to tormenting Wataru, putting him in a hold and rubbing his knuckles on his head.

"That's enough messing about for one night!" Yuta immediately go to their makeshift beds and do as they're told. Nippori is the first to nod off and the rest follow. It had been a long day after all, they had their aches and pains. All but one of them aren't able to resist the temptations of sleep. Wataru diligently assesses the sleeping status of each team member before kneeling down and marvelling at the peacefulness of Nippori's sleeping form. He then, ever so gently removes the bobble and runs his hand through his now free flowing hair and leans in to whisper."Psst! Keiji-kun."

"What is it, nii-chan?" He mumbles, eyes still closed.

"I can't sleep, I miss you too much!"

"Don't come in my bed!"

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because what?" He says, getting into Nippori's bed.

"Leave me alone!" He shout-whispers as Mizusawa stirs in his sleep.

"Shh, don't be like that." He kisses his neck and he resists.

"It's too late, now look what you've done!" Wataru reaches down and Nippori bats his hand away. "We can can't do Etchi..." Mizusawa's ears prick up. "...Things in public Mizusawa..."

 _Who's calling me?..._ He opens his eyes. _Aww, those two are sharing a bed together! That's nice, but so risky… I wish Yama-chan would be more adventurous… Eeeehhh!? They're not asleep?_

"...Told me."

"Well, he told _me_ private was if no one could see."

"I suppose everyone _is_ asleep..."

"You're gonna have to be quiet if you want it to stay that way." Wataru kisses him.

 _I don't believe my eyes!... Are they about to do something in a communal sleeping area!? That's hot!... I shouldn't stop them, it'd be weird if I did… I can't look away! They should get a room, things are really heating up!_ Wataru's head disappears under the sheet.

 _I won't be able to hold in the noise if he does that!_ He put his hands over his crotch in protest.

"Not that, nii-chan!" Wataru places a shushing finger on his lips and gently removes his hands. Nippori decides he stands a better chance if he uses a pillow so he puts it on his face to cancel the sound of any moans that leak out.

 _That sucks! Now I can't see his reaction face… Is Wataru fiddling with his nipple? I never taught them that... I'm going to have to do something about this boner... His head's bobbing up and down! I can only imagine how pleasurable it feels for Wataru, tasting that compact package~! Oh~ I can see him tensing!... Even though Wataru only just started… Wow! That's faster than I thought! He's totally finished now... I wonder if Wataru knows? He's pushing his head away..._

"That's it nii-chan!" He sits up for more leverage, gripping onto Wataru's hair. "You can let go now!"

 _Oooh~ He's enjoying it again? What fast recovery time!... Ah~! That face is too much! I can tell he's finding it hard to resist making a sound..._


	83. Chapter 83

Nippori is so wrapped up in the sensations he forgets where he is, as he nears his limit again and starts to squeeze tighter on Wataru's head and thrusts into his mouth in time with the last bursts of orgasm. Wataru reemerges from the confines of the sheet and resumes kissing Nippori heatedly.

"I wish we could get naked."

"Why can't we?"

"If someone wakes up I can move away and pretend rolled off the yoga mat in my sleep."

"Ok good plan, I'm gonna take care of you now."

"Not here, that's too risky."

"How?"

"If someone opens their eyes and sees me in your bed, with your head moving up and down that'd be too obvious."

"You did that with me."

"Yeah, but that was for a shorter time, Onani is fine."

"What's Onani?"

"This." Nippori hugs Wataru tighter as he muffles his moans with the fabric on Wataru's s _houlder._

 _That looks like an intense handjob. Nippori might not have any stamina but he seems to be able to keep going indefinitely... He's screwing up his eyes, I can tell what's coming next! even though I can't see what's going on, my imagination is vivid enough._

"Iku! Iku!" Rather than screaming he manages to bite down on Wataru's shoulder.

"Sorry, nii-chan did that hurt?"

"No, I'm fine let's lie down."

"Ok, nii-chan!" They lock lips once again as Wataru frees his tormented penis. He places both his and Nippori's in his palm and begins to stimulate them both simultaneously. It starts off quite slow and sensuously, then after about a minute Nippori starts to urge him to speed up.

"Go faster nii-chan!" He grunts under his breath. "Squeeze harder please!" He begs, but Wataru doesn't obey this time. "Come on nii-chan, I'm nearly there!" He continues to tease Nippori slowing down even more. "This feels weird... It's good but different," He tries to make sense of the sensation before tilting and thrusting into Wataru's hand to compensate. He leans in for the kiss, this time. As the overwhelming sensations course through his body, his arms constrict around Wataru as his body spasms and convulses. He's out of breath when he tells Wataru to let go again and this time, he does.

 _That was a strong one, I can tell! Did Wataru just edge him? Where did he learn that trick? This is so exciting, I wanna know his record! It's not too hard to see how he could just please Nippori and be satisfied it seems like such an experience… Wataru doesn't seem to be concerned about him reaching his limit…_

"Wow! Nii-chan that was amazing! It feels so much better when you wait!"

"Tell me about it, I learnt that from you."

"When I made you beg?"

"There's something else of yours I wanna try, let's turn over."


	84. Chapter 84

**Today is training day so this is a** ⭐ **bonus week** ⭐.

 _So, Nippori's getting into position on top of Wataru? I wonder what they're gonna do… I must have forgotten all the possibilities there are when you don't have sex… If Wataru wasn't interested it sex at first, there must be a lot more to it… Oh, his finger's in his mouth I know what's coming… I can't look! Who am I kidding? This is ace! So, you **can** be intimate without shagging and I've got a front row seat! I don't know how much longer I can last!..._

"Nii-chan what are you gonna do?"

"You tell me."

"Are you licking your finger so it can go up my..."

"Umhmm." He kisses him as his index finger makes it's way to Nippori's tender spot.

"Be gentle nii-chan," He chokes as Wataru teases the entrance.

"Trust me , you'll enjoy it, I know I did."

"Ok, three, two, one." Nippori pushes out as he was told to and just like in practice the finger enters, with no issues.

"It's in."

"I know,"

"How is it?"

"Fine, but you're not moving it, like I did."

"I thought you'd need a minute to get used to it."

"No, getting it in is the hardest part, I started using a slightly bigger buttplug this week, on Tuesday, so it's no problem."

"Where did you find it?"

"Mizusawa bought me a set that was discounted, I think it's because the biggest one is missing."

"When and where did he buy it?"

"Do you want one?"

"No, I'm just curious since I've never seen one in a shop before."

 _I can't see myself needing to go through all the sex prep Mizusawa told me about for Nippori's..._

"He bought it in an adult shop when he was getting your lube,"

"Oh. I owe him money for that don't I?"

"He gave it to me for free."

"He's good to you isn't he?"

"Yeah," Nippori clenches his bum muscles to remind Wataru what they were in the middle of.

"Oops I forgot," He starts to move his finger by gently pistoning his knuckle. "How is it?"

"Ok, you can speed up." Wataru puts his wrist into the action. "Don't worry I can take it,"

"Are you sure?" Nippori nods and he speeds up until he comes across a strange texture.

"Yee~aaah~"

"Shh, Keiji-kun!"

"Nnnnnnnnn~" He shudders and collapses onto Wataru's chest masking his moans by pushing his face into the t-shirt that covers Wataru's toned pectoral muscles.

"Ha ha, I remember when you did that to me,"

"I just came."

"Where from?"

"Cum is another word for jizz."

"But you didn't."

"It works for the feeling too."

"Wow! Really?" He jiggles his finger and Nippori squirms at his touch.

 _This is really effective…_ He applies more pressure to Nippori's prostate.

"No more~ I caa~aan't~ Take it!"

"I thought you could."

"Aaaaaa~ Nii-chan~" Wataru removes his finger. "Wait, don't stop."

"I was just wetting my finger." He puts it back and massages Nippori's prostate with renewed intensity.

"Nnnnnn~ Iku!~ Iku!~"

"So you can 'cum'? Without having your ochinchin touched?"

"It looks like it… You haven't yet, it's time to take care of you." Wataru nods. "Ok, why don't we start by switching positions?"

 _I wanna use my finger now, it'll be impossible if he's laying on his back..._

"I don't wanna crush you."

"I'm not that delicate, you know I can take it."

 _What if I lose my balance when I 'cum'?_

"I'd feel more comfortable if we laid face to face on our sides or something."

"Ok, if you say so…" He sulks for a moment, but remembers listening to him would probably be the thing that most makes him happy. "We were fine like that before, weren't we?" This time, Nippori takes control, he uses both hands.

"How is it nii-chan? Kimochi ii?"

"Kimochi ii." He takes Nippori's straining penis into one of his hands and reciprocates.

"Ah!~"

"Keiji-kun you'll wake someone up if you're too noisy."

"I knoo~oow it's just sooo~ hard!"

"Are you nearly there? I'll slow down."

"No, nii-chan, I caa~aan't hold it anymore! Keep going!... Ah!~ Iku! Iku!" He pants for a second. "That's it I can't go anymore."

"Sorry, do you want to make the next one together?"

"You know it!"

"Can you get on top of me again?" He does. "You pull your trousers down to your knees and I'll do mine...That's it, lie flat."

 _Is that it!? are they going to sleep like that?... Wataru didn't even cum, again!... Oh no, look they're moving… Grinding into each other? That looks like fun... Nippori's still so energetic? After all that? Oh~ I definitely can't take much more of this!_ Mizusawa pants quite heavily and his body starts to heave in time with the movement of his hand. _And it looks like he's got a firm grip on those cheeks, They're probably so soft and tender..._ _I wouldn't mind being called a butt-munch if it meant I could nibble these cheeks, they're so soft, I'd love to just lick… Oh suck and nibble... Just really go to town._ He closes his eyes as he re-imagines the most intense parts, they all flash through his brain in a sequence. _He came how many times? Twice with the blowjob… Oooh~... Twice with the hand job and… Uh~ Nearly there!... Twice with the fingering!? Ah~ I can't take it, Yama-chan said screw yourself, so this is as close as I've ever come to that. Here it comes!... I think I'd rather sleep than watch the rest of this, it has been a long day after all..._

"Oh~ Nii-chan how close are you?"

"Maybe another minute, tops…"

"I might not make it."

"Come on, I thought you could take, it Keiii~iiji-kun..."

"I can… Oh~ Ok, together! Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh~"

"Shhhh!"

"I can't." Wataru presses his mouth to his to his in an attempt to stifle Nippori's escaping moans he also pulls up Nippori's shirt it anticipation to prevent a stain. They both orgasm only, just not quite in sync, at long last, being the only ones to experience it. Nippori falls asleep in Wataru's arms. He tenderly places him on the yoga mat, redressing him but not before carefully wiping his stomach with his sleeve. Wataru returns to his yoga mat and reflects on what just happened. It seems as though tonight, Nippori felt safe enough with Wataru to neither cry nor suffer from insomnia on an account of the darkness. He grins to himself, when he realises Nippori wasn't scared because he was there, his smile stretches from ear to ear. He, however, interprets it a different way.

 _I made him so horny, he forgot to be scared!_


	85. Chapter 85

The team all wake up at seven and Mizusawa feels uneasy.

 _Washizu have something they can use against me and this is the best opportunity for them to cause a fuss… I'm leaving if the team is put at stake, like I told Nippori_ …

"Oi, Mizusawa-sensei! Why the long face." He rushes up and swings his arm stopping just shy of patting Mizusawa on the back. "Maybe I shouldn't touch you with that hand…"

"Why not?" Mizusawa asks, feigning innocence. His aura seems to change as he forgets his own issues.

"Don't freak out but we did something Etchi last night."

"What's the big deal? I was gonna take Yama-chan some were private too, he's nowhere near as adventurous as you guys. Can you believe he told me to screw myself!?"

"Oh no, are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine, he probably wouldn't have liked what I had planned anyway."

"Oh, that's a shame, I don't think you'll want to hear what happened last night then..."

"You can tell me, I'm not jealous!" He lies.

"Wataru snuck into my bed."

"No way! Were you asleep?"

"I was."

"What happened next?"

"I tried to make him go away but before I could, I got a bokki,"

"You got turned on from just that?"

"Eh?"

"He made you horny by just being there?"

"He always does, unless I'm… "

"Distracted?"

"Yeah, that was the first time since last Sunday and all!"

"So, was all this happening in the dark?"

"Yeah it was dark,"

"You weren't scared?"

"Wataru was there."

"You're really comfortable with him, aren't you?"

"Oh!?... I suppose, I do feel safe… Like he can protect me!"

"That's sweet."

"How is that sweet?"

"That's how it should be, you're his, so he takes care of you."

"He's mine and I take care of him too."

"Sorry, I forgot how sensitive you were about that,"

"We're each other's, he said that himself."

"You really are perfect for each other!" He reaches out to pinch his cheeks, Nippori swats his hand away.

"You're right! You don't know where these hands have been..." He hints.

"You're right, I don't wanna know."

"Everyone, let's wash our hands, before breakfast!" Yuta orders.

"Ok, captain," Kaneko says as he and Satoshi are the first to follow.

"That's good timing,"

"Yeah, we needed our hands washing." They both laugh together, as Mizusawa's nerves settle.

The whole group finish washing their hands and make a start towards the canteen when they are stopped by a group of Washizu pupils before being allowed to join the queue.

 _Oh no, it's happening! I knew it was coming but nothing could have prepared me for it… This is my own path, I need to self sacrifice, no one else needs to take the fall… Yama-chan knows how to act, but the other two…_ He walks up to Nippori and Wataru and whispers. "You're not out yet, act straight, you don't know what they'll do to you." They look at each other and both shrug, before whispering to each other.

"How do straight people act?"

"I don't know, not gay?"

"I know, pretend it's like when you found out straight existed."

"What do you mean, I didn't care, it's not like it affects my life."

"You were confused right."

"A bit, but I accepted it straight away."

"Then it's the same thing for a straight person to find out someones gay."

"Good, I get it, but what if he's insulting?"

"You can go for him, but just because you're standing up for Mizusawa, remember we don't actually care what other people think of us. We never would have got where we are without him."

"I suppose so..." They stand together, preparing to brave a barrage of insults they know won't be directed at them, but expect to take personally. It takes all of Wataru's restraint not to take Nippori's hand, he needs him there, to stay calm.

"So there's a gay guy on your team? Which one is Kiyama."

"What are you talking about?"

 _Good one Yama-chan, deny everything, This team needs you more than it needs me… I'd say something, but I'm not ready to let go yet..._

"Don't just spout nonsense like that!" Wataru shouts.

I _never told him to do that, he's getting too close to the situation… Why can't he just renounce me as his friend and move on with his life… I really miss judged him as a Yankee… His heart's just so big… Who knew he'd fight for me, when the time came?... The way he was looking at me with Nippori yesterday… He wasn't just being aggressive he was being protective… No wonder Nippori feels safe, I feel safe just knowing he's on my side..._

"Speak up Mizusawa!"

 _Why did Ryosuke have to butt in?…_ Wataru looks back at Mizusawa confusedly.

 _How did Ryosuke know!? I thought it was a secret!_

"Mizusawa?" While uninvolved in the confrontation Yuta still takes some of the sudden revelation a little bit personally.

 _How long have I known Taku!? He kept that from me!? I've got so many questions… I've been questioning a few things about myself, since Satoshi joined…_ The whole group stares at Mizusawa, concerned for him.

"You lot seem pretty close to him… Don't tell me you're all the same as him!?"

 _What's wrong with being gay!? I'll kill him!_

 _He better take that back it's sounded like he was trying to be insulting I wonder what Wataru's gonna do to him…_

"What the heck was that!? Do you want a fight?"

 _I know Nippori said I could, but I'll just threaten him... I don't want to let Yuta down._

 _I wish Wataru would keep a level head, but he's really selling the straight act… I would have believed it myself, if I didn't see what I saw last night…_ Wataru kicks a chair and Ryosuke follows, also getting hot headed but for a different reason. Rather than taking offence at the word gay being used as an insult, he is insulted by being called gay.

Kashiwagi-sensei appears and the fight is stopped. Satoshi manages to convince him that nothing was going on.

 _That didn't go too badly, maybe I can stick around until we do the final performance…_

The team all sit in a room and discuss the matter at hand. Mizusawa joins them slightly after but rather than knocking he stands there and listens.

"This doesn't change anything." Yuta starts

 _They are talking behind my back, luckily they're on my side!_

"Who are you kidding this changes everything!"

 _Ryosuke! Of course he would be the one._

"Don't you find it a little bit gross?"

 _I don't want to hear anymore... Especially not if Kiyama will be involved in bad mouthing me… It's just gonna get worse, since I gave those two instructions to 'act straight'._ He exits the building.

"You're the only one that thinks that!"

"High five, brave Satoshi is coming out again." Nippori whispers.

"Oh stop!" He blushes as he accepts the high five, down low.

"It's not as if I hate him or anything, but what about Kiyama?"

"What about me? It's not my problem."

"Yeah, none of us care! Is there something you're not telling us?" Kaneko remarks.

"Not really." He avoids eye contact with everyone in the room.

"Is there some secret hidden reason behind you not being able to tolerate a girl for more than a week?" Satoshi queries.

"No, I just get bored!"

"Don't take your frustration out on me!"

"What frustration!? There is no frustration!"

"A person who is secure with their identity would not feel the need to use others for validation." Kaneko interrupts his outburst.

"I don't need validation, it's just a number."

"So you admit it?"

"Admit what!?" Ryosuke Starts to hyperventilate as his insecurities are exposed, perhaps there _is_ a secret hidden meanings behind the taunting words of every bully?

 _I don't like being picked on! When does it end!? I don't take anything seriously! Get a grip! What they're saying doesn't mean anything!_

Don! The interrupted by the sound of Wataru slamming the door.

"What's his problem?"

"He went after Mizusawa." Nippori adds knowingly.

At the side of the road.

 _Oh no it's tearing the team apart! I need to get out of here, I've never felt guilty about being gay before and that's not about to start but if it affects Yuta's dreams I won't be able to forgive myself...I'm just gonna sit on the curb and mope about a bit... I might as well get rid of this picture it's caused me enough trouble already it's not as if I don't see him every weekend... I don't know, perhaps I should just keep a digital picture like everyone else?_

"You really love Kiyama, don't you?"

"More than anything!"

"I don't get it."

"What?"

"Why do you hide it?"

"He has very judgemental parents."

"Oh yeah, I've met them."

"How did it all start between you two?"

"I confessed to him."

"I get that but how did you know you loved him?"

"I knew the first day we met... Well I didn't quite know, but I had a feeling."

"I get you, how did that start."

"I was confused and that, you know?"

"Obviously,"

"So, I messed around with a few girls, I really regret it though, my first kiss should have been him."

"You messed around with girls?" He pulls a face.

"The really different, they're clean and they smell nice."

"Nippori's clean!" Wataru looks at him in disgust.

"What? Can you blame me?"

"They deserve better."

"You're right and like I said I regret it. As you can imagine the girls always wanted to be the centre of attention, that didn't really work for me, Yama-chan doesn't care, so we don't clash. having to be sensitive and taking care of someone was not really something I could very easily get on board with. I didn't want to listen to their problems, I just wanted to talk about mine. I wish I could do everything for the first time with man I love just like you."

"One second, I just had a thought!"

"Congratulations! 'It's a grandma'!"

"Don't get cheeky to me!"

"You didn't get my reference but it's still funny. Can't you see? It's a play on words, grandmas aren't born, well they are but they have to grow old first." Wataru pauses for a considerable amount of time. "Aw, I lost it, it's your fault!"

"Sorry,"

"Where were we?"

"Erm, me being with girls." Wataru shudders at the thought. "Stop being so grossed out we didn't do anything more than kiss."

"A kiss can capture the heart."

"I didn't know you could be so romantic… Wait! that's just a quote from when Gackt was on nico nico."

"Shut up a sec, the thought's coming back to me now,"

"Go on then!"

"Ssshhh! Oh yeah, the guys think Ryosuke is compensating for something by messing around with all those girls. Do you think there's pattern?"

"Maybe and the thought of it cheers me up. Thanks for that!"

"Don't mention it," He leaves Mizusawa alone, with his thoughts.

 _...I need to stop feeling sorry for myself I'm going to get out of here…. I need a hug so badly… I'm gonna pay him a visit._


	86. Chapter 86

**Half term starts today so today is a bonus. _There may also be a special Christmas gift that came into being, earlier this week, it may scare you._**

"I just wanted to stress how sorry I am about all this getting out... Can I have a hug?"

 _I can't believe they made such a big scene in the dinner hall, loads of people from our school saw... I should just ignore him in case anyone's watching... If footage or a photo of that hug got out I would never be able to deny that I'm in love with him to my parents... Washizu members always seem to be in the wrong place at the right time… They can Ignore rumours though... I'll make it up to him over text. It's so hard to pretend right now I can't hold it in either._ He walks away.

 _Why would he leave the mop bucket behind? Unless he wants me to follow... He's so sly what could he possibly want? Maybe he doesn't think it's safe here._ Mizusawa fakes being upset, just in case anyone's watching and walks away taking the long way round to the storage cupboard where he finds Kiyama.

"Oi, Yamachan come out! I only want a hug… Why is it so dark in here?" Kiyama suddenly takes him from behind. "Ah! Fudge nuggets! Don't creep up on me like that..."

"You're _here_ and we're alone. I can't stand pretending anymore, I wanted to be alone with you more than anything, at least I can be myself, sorry I had to tell people I wasn't into you." He mushes their mouths together and takes Mizusawa's head into his hands.

"What are you doing? What if we're caught?"

 _So, Yama-chan can be adventurous when it suits him?... I'm glad it was him... I know I don't deserve him… He's definitely the only one for me… Who else would put up with my antics?… They say 'the grass is always greener on the other side', but I should follow Nippori's example… It doesn't matter what I'd like to change as long as we're happy, together._

"Then that's fate." Mizusawa starts to speak but he shoves his tongue in his mouth, forcibly stopping his lips.

"Are you for real?"

"You bet," he simultaneously kicks the door shut for emphasis before pushing Mizusawa up against the storage cupboard shelves. He gropes Mizusawa through his trousers.

"You're so hot when you're reckless." Kiyama puts his finger in his mouth he licks it. then spits it out when he has a sudden realisation. " A dry run? Really?"

"I thought you wanted to screw."

"I do! Hard and fast give it to me, master!" And they do, Kiyama's thrusts are powerful and a lot of sports equipment is knocked down in the process. They don't even fully strip Mizusawa if first followed closely by a silent Kiyama who miraculously manages to still keep his composure at times like this.

"How was it for you?"

"I only came for a hug, then I _came_ twice! You're so unpredictable, I like it… You're still a mystery to me, even now… At least we can share each other's misery when in comes to things like this,"

"Obviously, it hurts me to say it and it hurts you to hear it, Ryosuke's a twat, isn't he?"

"I think he just likes to take his own issues out on others. And speaking of arseholes, I can't believe you just blew your load in me! I've got to get home like this, you know!"

"Stay," He lights up a cigarette,

"I can't it's messing up the team."

"Fine then, it's a little something to remember me by on your journey home,"

"What does that guy on 'Juno' say 'Don't think it's yours just 'cos you marked it with your pee.' I think that applies,"

"You drop out." Mizusawa slaps him. "That didn't hurt."

"At least _you_ can say that now, I'm gonna be limping and dripping all the way home."

"Did you really need to add that last part?"

"Why don't you carry condoms you could have solved both those issues."

"Yes, that's a shame, too bad."

"I wish you'd be a little bit more sympathetic sometimes."

"Who do _I_ have to worry about getting pregnant?"

"Look I've got one."

"Why are you so prepared for that?"

"Just in case." He winks, hinting that he wants to top at some point in the future, Kiyama ignores him and quickly changes the subject.

"If you're so bothered why didn't you let me use it?"

"Mine don't fit you."

"Really?"

"Yeah don't you know how these things work?"

"Why should I?"

"I can't think of a good reason but, for future reference 'an ill-fitting condom is a useless condom'."

"How do you know that?"

"Let's just say I was warned by my dad…"

"Not when you brought me home?"

"No, before that."

"Don't tell me your sister's an accident?"

"Let's not go into any more detail about my parent's sex life before I lose my breakfast, You and your lot'll be cleaning it too, I'm going home to have a nice rest."

"Catch you later."

"Bye Yama-chan." He kisses him goodbye then hobbles away. Kiyama looks at his handiwork before getting ticked off at how slow Mizusawa's walking.

"Don't friggin' milk it! You drama queen!" Mizusawa flips him off.

"Trust me you don't know the meaning of drama queen." Kiyama seems to be unable to resist stealing another kiss from Mizusawa while he still can and walks up to him and takes him into his arms. His arms roam all over his back then he finally stops and cups his bum cheeks. "I didn't mark in with my pee, but it's mine… Always."

"Stop it, unless… You wanna go again?"

"Get lost,"

"I'm not due home for another few hours..." He raises his eyebrows.

"I'm not a machine!"

"Just checking."

"It couldn't have hurt that much if you're asking for more, why don't you skip off home before I take you up on your offer." He spanks him before he finally manages to leave.


	87. Chapter 87

Kiyama puts out the cigarette butt under his foot, realises that the cupboard is in a worse state than it was before and starts to put everything back in its place before being interrupted.

"Excuse me, Kiyama-senpai." Satoshi steps in and looks around. "Why is it such a mess in here?"

"Don't ask me."

"Oh of course, how would you know? It smells really funky in here. Oh my word! Have you been smoking?" There is a myriad of smells but, Satoshi is only able to pinpoint the only one he recognises, Kiyama is glad that's the only one he asked him about.

"What if I was?"

"You're too young to be smoking. I know it's not my place to criticise you as a senpai to me but, smoking is very dangerous for your health if you think about all the different smoking-related conditions that can shorten your lifespan it becomes quite clear that the abuse of cigarettes is really just a long-winded and expensive suicide, how much money could you save in it a year, if you didn't spend five hundred yen every couple of days?"

 _I can't play a part in my own death, not when I owe my life to Kono…_

"You're right, if I've been blessed with health I should at least try to maintain it, for your sake, this is my last packet."

"I'm proud of you."

"I don't need you to be proud of me, I can see that I'm just dependent on the nicotine, it was a bad idea to start in the first place."

"It's gonna be hard because it takes a lot of willpower to quit smoking. Don't give me _all_ the credit for suggesting it, think of it for your own sake."

"I'll try thanks for the advice what do you need from me?"

"I was just looking for Mizusawa-senpai, the coach says 'he's not pulling his weight',"

"That's because he went home. How long have you guys been looking for him?"

"A good hour or so."

 _An hour? I can do better than an hour! I'm sure he would have complained more if I did... I can't complain, if it did take much longer than that we would have been caught..._ He bites his lip as he thinks about what just happened and the thrill of getting caught at any moment.

"Kiyama-senpai? Kiyama-senpai? Kiyama-senpai!"

"Eh? Sorry, what were you saying?"

"You seem quite distracted... Don't light another cigarette! Is that a thing you do when you're stressed? Chain smoking?"

"I'm actually really chilled out right now. I'm even more relaxed than I look."

"You don't need to overcompensate Kiyama-senpai, I get it, you're not homophobic, but you can at least react to what's going on, you don't have to keep your emotions to yourself."

"I'm not upset, none of this concerns me." He flicks the lighter back on.

 _If only you knew the truth, I couldn't possibly be shocked, because I know how deep his love goes..._

"Put it away your dependence is psychological."

 _I wish people wouldn't try to diagnose others based on a few characteristics, I know my mind better than he ever will... Even if this was news to me, I wouldn't be stressed. I'm not a very emotional guy... Ever since... I've just felt numb... I know Mizusawa understands me better than anyone else, he doesn't try too much with him, I feel at least a sense of relief, maybe even happiness... Who am I kidding? I can't deny that, as cheesy as it sounds, he completes me..._

"Oh, you're right I should save them." Satoshi pats him on the back empathetically.

"This whole trip has been quite traumatic for you, hasn't it? I invite you to join and the first thing that happens involves you being put that the centre of this affair."

"What affair?"

"I mean, I'm the manager and I can't even take care of my own team they were at each other's throats this morning, I tell you. I'm sorry you had to be a part of all this."

"No, this doesn't concern you."

"You're a really good senpai, you won't even let me blame myself when it was really my fault I poked my nose where I shouldn't have. It seems as though Washizu members are always in the right place at the right time to hear something personal. I've put you through a lot and I won't let you excuse me from what I've done."

 _He's too hard on himself... I can't stand to see him upset... He's going to deep he's going to expect me to have some kind of feelings…_

"Oh sh- Sugar! You're gonna keep pushing this situation until you find a suitable solution to right your so-called wrong."

"I owe it to you both. I have to rectify this situation, if I can't fulfil my role, what purpose do I have in being here?"

 _I don't know how to make him feel better… I've never had anywhere to learn such a skill…_

"Is that the time? I expect that he'll be at the bus stop by now."

"Oh! Thanks for telling me. Bye, Kiyama-senpai!" He absconds.

"Don't run, not with that heart of yours," Satoshi collapses, as if on cue, Kiyama runs up to him. "Why not just leave him to it?"

"I'm ok, you don't need to carry me again, I know you've secretly got a big heart, you revealed it to me, so you can't pretend."

"Well it's for the best,"

"I don't think that's your decision to make,"

"Fine, suit yourself, but don't make me worry again, you can take your time. The buses are every hour around here."

"Let's get everyone together to convince him to come back."

"It won't take much to convince him..." They manage to round up the team and they spot Mizusawa just getting on the bus. They call out to him, but he still gets on.

 _He seemed fine earlier… He can't leave the team just 'cos some idiots picked on him… There must be some mistake I can get him to come back…_

"Aniki! Where are you going?"

"It's not over yet." Wataru leaves the group and chases the bus down the hill.

 _I didn't think this would be so emotional… I'm gonna miss 'em… Eh!? What's that coming over the hill… Wataru! He'll give in any second… He's really persevering… Look at him go! Oh… The whole team's out there… Even Ryosuke… They must want me back… I can't make him run anymore..._

"'Scuse me, driver, can you stop please."

"Sure."

"What did you have to go and do that for!?"

"Because I'm giving you guys a bad reputation."

"You don't know the first thing about 'bad reputation'. None of us care who you like. I'm gay you're gay, Nippori's gay, Kiyama's gay and I'm sure Satoshi's got the hots for Yuta."

"Come off it! where d'you get that idea from? You can't just make stuff like that up."

"Did you see the way his attitude changes when people bad mouth him!? Anyway, my point is that if every gay guy left the group there'd be no group."

"So, what you're saying is you need me?"

"Yeah, now stop being an idiot!"

"You're right I just didn't wanna affect you guyses chances."

"The worst thing you can do effect our chances is to leave because we're weaker without you. I'm sure the whole routine would just fall apart if any of us left."

"I don't think there's anybody else on the team that could have convinced me to go back better than you. You really don't sugar coat anything!"

"I know kiyama doesn't mean what he says, but it hurts, doesn't it?"

"More than anything…"

"Let's do our best, together!"

"I really do wanna do men's, rhythmic gymnastics!" He shouts and the whole team cheers from a distance.

"Then you should've said that in the first place, stupid!"


	88. Chapter 88

"Maybe Yama-chan _could_ have a point about me being excessively dramatic sometimes?"

"Why are you limping?"

"Guess."

"Erm, you fell down the stairs?

"Think again."

"One of those Washizu guys started on you again and I'm gonna have to teach 'em a lesson?"

"I thought you weren't gonna be violent."

"I know but I'll be fighting to protect someone important to me."

"Wait a minute has Yankumi ever taught you?"

"Obviously, she's the one that showed me my hidden skill. I didn't know I had it, because I never turned up."

"You're a really modest guy aren't you? Yeah, you like to challenge people, but I've never seen you boast about anything."

"Oh, stop it you're making me shy."

"Don't lie you love attention."

"Yeah, unlike Nippori... You know he's the one thing I wanna boast about, I wanna shout it from the rooftops so that everyone knows that…"

"You love him."

"Yeah there's that but I want everyone to know that he's mine."

"You're quite possessive, aren't you?"

"You think I'm progressive, thank you, you know there are a lot of creepy guys out there."

"I'm one of them!"

"Don't you think I know that?" They share a laugh. "I just want to keep him safe…"

"He can take care of himself."

"Yeah but I wanna make it so he doesn't have to."

"Anyway look at the state of you, wouldn't you rather Kiyama was there to prevent that?"

"Eh? This is his fault."

"What!?"

"My arse hurts."

"Eh? You did _that_ here?"

"It's no better than that you got up to last night… In the room I was sleeping for crying out loud!"

"Ok, but it hurts _even_ now?"

"What? Oh, yeah, it was less than thirty minutes ago."

"I mean after all these years. On second thoughts I don't think I can bring myself to do that to Nippori, he'd probably cry and I won't be able to deal with that."

"It's only been _two_ years -three this winter- and for your information…"

"His... Is quite big and that would mean your… Just hangs open." He shudders at the thought.

"It's not _that_ bad, I just wasn't prepared, otherwise I'd have brought lube."

"That must have hurt! Like carpet burn on your insides!"

"It wasn't completely dry, but he went for a solid hour and obviously, I'm not over it yet. The knob head even had the audacity to say he'd 'marked' me!"

 _Though I did put the words in his mouth… He probably felt the need to clarify that since I put him through that stress the time he believed that I had a fling with Wataru... He can be a funny character once he's relieved some tension, my Yama-chan… I wouldn't change him…_

"Eh?"

"You don't wanna know, let's just say he's a dirty little bugger, when he's in the mood to be."

"There are so many sides to Kiyama I never knew off."

"Yeah that's because he's mine. I'll never share him. He's so cheeky, I'll never get tired of him!"

"I know how you feel. Nippori's not cheeky. But he has his sides that he only shows me." "Speaking of sides, my backside's squelching so much."

"So _that's_ what he did? Too much information."

"They can't expect me to go on stage like this, I'm gonna need a minute in the toilets, at the very least." He changes his tone as he meets up with the others. "Hi everyone I am back, did you miss me?"

"No we I didn't, get back on the bus!" Mizusawa gasps very loudly, playing along with the joke. "All jokes aside with sorry for what we said and thank you for the notebook we've always thought of you as I am a member of the team, don't try to leave us again."

"We're all sorry about how we carried on."

"No problem."

"Sorry I can't reciprocate mate, but don't do anything silly like this again, yeah? I've got a lot to learn from you. Show me things I've never seen before, you still make me feel the way I did when I first saw you..." Mizusawa shakes Kiyama's outstretched hand and turns to Wataru.

"How can he say that with a straight face?"

"You tell me."

"He's such a joker. He deserves a slap."

"Yeah but he did just say something kind of sweet, even if it was inappropriately publicly."

"I know you're glad to be reunited and everything after missing each other for like two hours but we're kind of pressed for time right now."

"That's it, speak up Kaneko!"

"Did you forget? Chop chop we need to get a move on."

"You can't go to the toilet. Good luck at holding your cheeks together otherwise, there might be an unexplainable stain that's really embarrassing."

"Go do one!" He kids.

Later they perform amazingly well, really showing how much they managed to uses their time wisely between odd jobs. Having shown the competition that they're really being serious, they can go home proud.


	89. Chapter 89

On the coach back Wataru finally manages to have a proper conversation with Nippori.

"Did I just hear your stomach rumble?"

"Did you know fight or flight stops your digestive system?"

"How should I know?"

"Well I couldn't eat anything before the performance and now it's started again..."

"Let me take you somewhere,"

"I've got work."

"I thought you did overtime last Sunday."

"I only did that so I could afford to miss yesterday… It's either that or Friday night at the host club..." He shudders at the thought.

"Oh that reminds me, I thought you were over people saying mean things to you,"

"Being picked on because of the size of my ochinchin and having my personality or potential judged by people that don't know me are separate issues."

"Size doesn't matter you know,"

"That's easy for you to say and for the record, I wasn't crying. Why would I cry about something so superficial? It's only skin deep."

"I'm glad you weren't really upset."

"Oh no, I'm too mature to think size matters, I just didn't like being humiliated."

"So, you're 'mature' now, are you?"

"I think I've made some pretty adult decisions in the last few days, thank you very much."

"Like what?"

"I don't need credit, otherwise it loses its value. It should be rewarding enough to do your best without expecting something, because you know you tried."

"Fine you're mature, I don't need any more philosophy lessons, thanks."

"Ok, nii-chan." His eyelids get heavy as the motion of the coach takes it's toll on Nippori.

"Shhh, this is only a minibus."

"You ssshh."

"Don't sleep on me."

"Zzzz..."

 _I s'pose I did keep him up last night and it has been a long weekend…_ Wataru suddenly becomes really aware of his exhaustion and falls asleep on Nippori.

"Oh, isn't that precious? Let me get a picture!"

"You really never take anything seriously, you're just jealous Ryo-chan."

"Why would I be jealous? They're only friends."

"So, you'd be jealous of them for being more than 'friends'?"

"Well… Oh, what! You're twisting my words! Shut your mouth Mizusawa, before I shut it for you!"

"Oh aren't we touchy?"

"You just nicknamed me! Didn't you!?"

"So, you're not denying anything Ryo-chan?" He raises his eyebrows for emphasis. "Looks like somebody's questioning."

"Do you want to go!? Right here!? Right now!?"

"I like to be wined and dined first." Even Kiyama can't help but crack a grin at that one.

"You just don't know when to shut up do you!?"

"Alright lads, that's enough, seat belts on."

"He started it!" Mizusawa had made no attempt to get out of his seat and just sits there, taunting Ryosuke.

"Well I'm finishing it!"

"You know someone secure in their identity wouldn't be so easily riled up."

"I've had enough out of you Mizusawa."

"But..."

"I don't want to hear one more peep, no ifs no buts. The last thing you'll say is sorry to Tsukimori."

"Who?"

"That's my surname, you don't have to say sorry. I think the reason everyone finds it so easy to make fun of me is that I'm usually the one starting fights and poking fun at others… I deserve it."

"No, no I went too far, I just wanted to point a few things out then it turned into an argument, sorry." Kashiwagi-sensei resumes his sudoku, sensing that his intervention has resulted in reconciliation.

"Well, it's more that, I'm the type to give an aura of invincibility."

"Don't get too full of yourself, now."

"Let me finish, I act all high and mighty but that's not the real me, thanks for pointing out my flaws I know I'm not perfect… The last thing you said really resonated with me. Sorry things didn't work out with you and Kiyama."

 _Tell that to my leaking arse..._  
"I'm sore-y too,"

"Sorry Ryosuke, I must have forgot you had feelings..."

"Yeah, me too."

"Don't sweat it I don't have hurt feelings, maybe I should learn from myself and actually practice what I preach."

"By doing what?"

"Not dishing out what I can't take, I'm not gay by the way."

"Yeah, and I remember a time when I 'wasn't' gay."

"For crying out loud, Mizusawa! I wonder why you don't get beaten up more often."

"That's harsh and coming from a teacher!" Mizusawa sulks.

"Well, I just suppose you've met your match!" Ryosuke adds insult to injury.

"This isn't over I always have the last word!"

"Will you to just stop flirting and get a room!"

"Kiyama!? That's the most I've heard you say all weekend!" Ryosuke shouts.

 _I suppose you just don't know him, like I do…_

"It seems as though me being gay has somehow brought us closer together..."

"Stop dropping hints, before I make you stop!"

"You really are a sensitive guy, you can't take the bants, can you?"

"I'm not sensitive, I'm just aggressive."

"Just because you've been told that your whole life, doesn't make it true, isn't being sensitive and aggressive kind of the same thing anyway?"

"Not as far as I'm concerned."

"Rather than crying, you take things out on people and get physical."

"Stop poking holes in my identity or else!"

"Or else what, you'll prove me right?"

"No, I'm just threatening you, to make you stop."

"Don't tell him that! Now he'll really have no fear, he's the ballsiest guy I know."

 _Oops, I just let a little bit of personal information slip… This is why us two shouldn't be left together in public for too long._

"So you think he's brave for having all his information out in the open and not running away from the consequences?"

"He actually did run away."

"Well he's here now, you know what I mean, coming out even, if accidentally, then having the courage to face Washizu?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"Maybe he does like you!" He whispers, obviously.

"I can't believe _you_ , just defended me against Yam- Kiyama-kun!" He corrects himself, not wanting to seem too over familiar with his supposed unrequited love

"Come and sit next to me! I've always wanted to have a gossip!"

"I bet you do!"

 _And there I was thinking Ryosuke was one of the most homophobic guys on the team… Now I find out really just some troubled guy with identity issues, like the rest of us? So, we can not only judge people by their appearances and get it wrong, but judge them by their actions and come to false conclusions? Maybe there is a reason behind them we may have never considered…_


	90. Chapter 90

**I don't have a course work deadline tonight, so, I thought I might as well treat you to a bonus.**

The following day at the usual time and place.

"Oi! Nippori!"

"Hi Mizusawa, are you looking forward to having some time off?"

"You know it! Uni's gonna be tough, but I'm looking forward to moving away from home."

"You don't _have_ to move away, do you?"

"No, but me and Yama-chan are going to the same one, you're worried about being left aren't you?"

"Well it's just _one_ more week of exams."

"I don't get why we have to go back after we've finished our exams."

"I have to go back for enrichment week and you have to go back because they help you with your university entrance exams."

"Don't remind me about that, it's such a headache."

"We just have to keep going! You'll pull through it! Having a can-do attitude is half the battle."

"You're always so upbeat, how do you do it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Whatever you're doing, whenever I see you, you're happy."

"Why should I be unhappy?"

"I'm not saying you should be, I'm just impressed by your resilience."

"I don't have anything to complain about."

"Don't people pick on you?"

"Actually, it's just you, my family and Ryosuke, but you don't mean it."

"Is that what Satoshi told you?"

"Yeah,"

"I don't want to make it seem as though you have a bad life, but you have so many more responsibilities and issues than people your age."

"So?"

"Doesn't that upset you?"

"I love my family, I'd do anything for them."

"So, there's nothing you would change?"

"Obviously, I'd bring my mum back, but I know she's there and whatever whenever I do something for her she smiles."

"How do you know?"

"I'd be empty if she didn't live within me, what do you think offspring are?"

"I suppose they are ways of extending your life through passing on your genetics, that is the whole aim of procreating after all."

"Yeah, she's a part of me and that's never going to change… So, I really don't have complaints. I can see, I can hear, I can taste, I can smell, I can feel, I have all my limbs..."

"Those are just the basics."

"That maybe so, but not everyone can say that, you should be thankful. You are fit and healthy, around the world there are people our age lying in hospital beds, or worst still, people that didn't make it to our age, but you're still standing that's a gift."

"I love your outlook on life, you make me feel guilty for how self-centered I was being."

"Exactly, I lost my mum when I was ten, but some children have neither. It's not about the comparison or the fact that others are worse off it's a fact that you're blessed with what you've got."

"I think I'm having an epiphany, exams are hard but at least I have an education! I can't afford a holiday but at least I have a home! People might not like me but at least I'm not oppressed or persecuted. You've done it again! You taught me something! I still can't help but wish more people thought like you. I'm actually going to have a more positive attitude now I've considered this. Thank you."

"It's no problem, you asked a question I gave an answer."

"You're so modest, a lot of people in our society will feel sorry for you, but you go so far as to look beyond your own difficulties and see the true issues, you never cease to amaze me."

"I feel like I'm getting too much credit, for just speaking the truth."

"What you're saying is it's awful, but it could be worse so appreciate what _is_ there, rather than being down because of what's not there. I must just be a pessimist, because that sounds like 'glass half full' thinking."

"It's never too late to change, especially if the change will make you happier."

"That's great advice."

The last week of exams continues in such a way, they practice men's rhythmic gymnastics, Nippori and Wataru continue their lunchtime studies until Nippori proposes a question on Friday.


	91. Chapter 91

"It's a half day today, do you wanna do something?"

"What about the littl'uns?"

"My sister's skived today, she refused to go 'cos it's her birthday. She's getting 'em. That reminds me, I need to get a gift."

"Nah, I'm nervous about whether or not I graduated."

"You've done all your tests now, there's no going back."

"I know, that's the worst part..."

"Why don't we do something to take your mind off it?"

"Like what? I'm starting my new job, to raise money for our wedding today at three."

"How long is the shift?"

"I don't know, I think they just want me to go in for training."

"What's the job?"

"It's an ice cream shop!"

"The one on the beach?"

"Yeah, it just opened."

"Ok, let's go to lessons and I'll tell Mizusawa what's going on at break."

Nippori goes to see Mizusawa that break.

"I'm not gonna be able to walk you home after lunch."

 _I never really thought of him as being the one that walks me home… Though, it's not as if I take him home…_

"That's fine, Yama-chan needs glasses. He's been pretending he could see this whole time. I'm going with him to his appointment." Nippori looks at him quizzically. "He wouldn't turn up other wise. He's always refusing to accept his limitations."

*****FLASHBACK*****

"Great job on that crane game, I always thought the prizes were a sham, since they're so difficult to get… We got two tickets to Disney sea and summer is so close, Sounds like a great date!"

 _I wanted the Universal studios tickets… At least he's happy… He doesn't usually have a kind word to say about anyone. Being this excited is actually quite cute coming from him…_

"It's gonna be our last bit of fun before Uni, what a great way to spend it! High five! Oops, you missed… One more time… Either you're really clumsy or you've got really bad depth perception… And I know you're not clumsy... I've actually never seen you have any trouble with sport…" Kiyama looks into the distance, staring at nothing in particular. "You couldn't possibly be guessing or taking a leap of faith every time?" Kiyama shrugs his shoulders. "But you do it with so much confidence, no one can tell?" He shakes his head in disagreement. "You've made everything look so effortless haven't you?" Kiyama starts to ignore him, although he usually speaks when spoken to. This must be a difficult topic for him he's being even more distant than usual, but Mizusawa continues to waffle on jumping to his own conclusions and making assumptions. "You're not the type to complain, are you? Never even gave a hint that you were struggling!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't get shy Yama-chan."

"I'm not shy…"

"I know you've got a problem…"

"Eh? What're you on about I'm not even a little bit excited… You're so _horny!_ Always trying to start something, in _public_ and all tut tut tut." He strategically tries to change the subject.

"I'm not talking about that get your mind out of the gutter Yama-chan, what does that number over there say?"

"Well I think you're going easy on me, that is quite clearly an eight... Actually on second thoughts is it double is it double digits?"

"You tell me…"

"Ten? Eleven?"

"Is that your final answer?"

"Go on then."

"It's actually a six, you could never see anything in the first place could you?"

"Of course I could see it, six and eight look really similar…"

"Come on now Yama-chan, you said it was eleven, so, you were guessing the whole time." "How many fingers am I holding up. I know you're holding one up because there's only one knuckle but there _are_ two tips... I get you."

"Good we can see the optician on our half day. This is probably part of the reason why you're football career went down the drain no offence when you were in middle school, you could probably pick up where you left off, if you got some contact lenses… How _anyone_ could stay quiet about a thing like this for _so_ long, I'll never know, your eyes must have been bad for quite some time now. I can't believe you've been blagging it this long. If you said something about not being able to see the goal properly you would've stayed on the right track and not ended up taking your frustrations out on the people you'd challenge to fights. Yama-chan, this story is heartbreaking, your fall from grace all because you couldn't see that must have been so challenging, no wonder you turned to a life of crime, briefly. Having _everything_ taken from you all at once your passion, your aspirations! You _knew_ you were capable of it all. You had the physique, the talent, everything worked properly, but you just couldn't co-ordinate yourself because your eyes wouldn't co-operate that must have been so infuriating. In fact, _I_ want to punch someone right now."

"I think you should calm down."

"I literally feel like asking 'why does everything bad happen to you?' but you've never asked that question, have you?"

"I'm over it now, you don't need to get yourself into a fury over that sort of thing. I probably ruined my chances of making any progress on a uni team shortly after I flew off the rails and took up smoking even if I have quit… I've decided on a different career path, a bit like Kashiwagi-sensei. He got an injury he moved on… I don't think I need to see a specialist, thanks for your concern."

"We're gonna get you sorted and you don't have a say, because you'll just act like it's nothing. You really don't like to express yourself do you?"

 _I don't have that many feelings._..

"If I'm not speaking, I don't have anything to say."

"Do you mean you're indifferent? Disappointed? I want to know your opinions, you know?"

"I believe you, you're really talkative…"

"I speak for us both."

 _Maybe that's part of the reason you don't think before you speak..._

"No wonder you always say what's on your mind…"

"I'm an open book, I can barely even get access to your contents page without a drink."

"This is really important to you isn't it?"

"Maybe."

"Does this have anything to do with the sex?"

"Not particularly?" He blushes. "You can get straight to the point when it suits you can't you?"


	92. Chapter 92

**I'd been neglecting this story since the soon to be published one -that shall not be mentioned- started and I got my spark back an d started writing this one again on Tuesday. Which I think calls for a bonus.**

"Sorry, it wasn't terrible, I just had a lot to process. It was selfish of me to go quiet at a time like that… It must've been a really sensitive period for you too. I didn't really think of your feelings. I hope you're not insulted by my reaction… I know you're a drama queen but we can both have our moments, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose so. You say 'it wasn't terrible' but that's just code for saying you didn't like it." Kiyama sighs.

"Let's just say in future if you want to know how I feel don't expect a confession. I _will_ tell you. Just ask, I won't lie to you."

"You didn't even…"

 _I didn't feel like it..._

"Have you ever heard of a reach around?"

 _Hmm if he doesn't do that I still cum and if he does I cum twice… I suppose there's no chance of him cumming in fifteen minutes. I didn't even try… I always blamed myself for him not having a good time, but he's too forgiving._

"Oops, I thought of all the times for you to finally treat me to some ear sex."

"What the f-?"

"I mean vocally, you moaning and it being all thanks to me. I didn't hear a peep out of you." "You what?"

"Didn't it hurt?"

"..."

"You didn't react at all, you could've been sitting on the tube reading a magazine about plastic scale models as far as your face was concerned. It looked completely unaware of anything going on with your bottom half."

"Great, that's the look I was going for."

"Eh?"

"Does it frustrate you that I don't make sounds?"

"A bit."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, it's not because I'm repressing them."

"No, it makes me feel worse, like I can't give you enough pleasure."

"It's not like that, I just don't feel the need to do that. I'm sure I could start now, but you'd know I was faking and it'd be insincere."

"So, whatever I do doesn't move you to get vocal?"

"No." Mizusawa frowns. "Don't take it personally, it's a me thing, not a you thing. I just don't feel comfortable doing it."

"Do you want to?"

"I can't. I've never felt the urge to. I don't mind _talking_ to you but otherwise, I'm quite happy to get on with silently."

"I know you are, but why?"

"It's just not my way."

"Come on, I thought you were in the talking mood today."

"It's not proper."

"Eh?"

"It's unnecessary."

"So?"

"It's indecent."

"Yeah and?"

"It's not in my capacity to lose control like that. It's not dignified to be as unrestrained as that."

"Does that mean you'd rather I didn't?"

"No, it's exciting to hear it because it's so obscene."

"'Obscene?' You always go all posh and well spoken when I make you uncomfortable... You were raised to so conservative Yama-chan! Wow! You can dirty talk me under the table, but moaning is too 'undignified'?"

"I don't ever like to lose control."

"I know that much about you, but still..."

"Isn't it a bit demeaning to be all vocal and having no control over the volume of your voice and movements of your body?"

"No, there are moments when you should be able to let go of all your inhibitions. No one should have to worry about a thing like dignity when they are with their partner, that's why I don't care how loud I get in front of you."

"I suppose I kind of have no control, since I _can't_ produce sounds like that. You _could_ stop if you tried but I can't start."

"Did it hurt or what?"

"Have you ever had anal sex?" He nods. "Did it hurt the first time?"

"You don't even know the half of it!... Actually, you do, I told you how I felt at the time and now, you've experienced it. So it hurt?"

"What do you think?"

"Stop answering my questions with questions, I wanna hear it from you."

"Well in all the fights I've been in, I've never felt pain that came close to that. Obviously, when you get hit it's just a dull ache, or throbbing the pain comes and goes, you know?"

 _I've turned on the tap now… Here it comes and everything he says is gonna be honest… I've already convinced him not to spare my feelings…_

"There's no such fight where you get punched repeatedly in the same place unless it's your head and they're trying to kill you. That's why blunt instruments are so dangerous… I think taking a weapon to a street fight is pitiful, it just shows your opponent you're not confident with your own hands. Plus you can get disarmed, then what?"

 _Is he just tiptoeing around the topic? Hoping I'll get distracted?_

"That's besides the point Yama-chan. I wanna know how it was for you."

"Will that really make you feel better?"

"Get out with it already."


	93. Chapter 93

_Whatever he says is gonna be bad now… I don't know if I can stomach it now… There's no going back, I finally got him to open up about it…_

"The point I was getting up to was that it was a bit painful."

"Don't go back on your word to be honest now, that's too vague I want details."

 _Do I want details?_

"Fine, it was searing burning pain…"

"Mines not even nearly as long or thick as yours…"

"That's not how it felt, do you want to argue or hear what I've got to say, because you're giving me mixed messages."

"Sorry, I'm not gonna interrupt, I'm just not used to being the one that stands idly by while you talk to your heart's content."

"Oi, I listen when you waffle on."

"'Waffle on'?"

"If I didn't listen to you, I wouldn't have a clue about the type of thing you like to talk about."

"So, you were just getting defensive because I'm pushing you past your limits for discussion!? Wait, did you just throw that insult in so, I'd get in a flap about it?"

"No, but you brought that on yourself."

"Ok, my lips are sealed."

"That's a first."

"I'm not gonna fall for it twice, that's shame on me."

"And yet you took the bait?"

"Ok, no more, I'm listening… Starting now."

"I thought I'd get to the point where I was over it... Like you did, then there'd be pleasure... But I wasn't over the first trauma… I never really got a chance to get used to it. It was uncomfortable the whole time… I think it's probably because I didn't give you any signals. At the time, I started panicking that was how it was meant to be and you were pretending to enjoy it the whole time."

"So, you felt inadequate?"

"What happened to being quiet?"

"Oops."

"I felt mad at myself for putting you through it, I was so worried. I just thought 'No wonder he wanted a change, this feels _reall_ _y_ crappy.' I thought I should just try to cope with it as well as you do. I felt like taking it was just my duty, I had to pay you back."

"How could you think that was how it was meant to feel?"

"So, the whole staying quiet thing has gone out the window?" He shrugs. "I never let you play with my arse before that day, how was I to know? I was really considering _neve_ _r_ doing it again until you asked."

"That's why I had to persuade you to do it the time after that? You said you didn't wanna hurt me, I said it wasn't that bad."

*****FLASHBACK(ception)*****

"No thanks."

 _This must be to do with me topping… I knew he didn't enjoy it… I can't let him get into a pattern of rejecting me every weekend… That would mean I would've inadvertently ended the 'honeymoon period'! I thought that was a straight thing... For our mums and dads and all the other old people that have wrinkled up past their sell by dates… It's not really exclusive, I've heard rumours about the fabled 'lesbian bed death'… But they're all much older! I have to put and end to this… I know I'm a hentai but, I thought we had the same sex drive… It must be that up until that weekend he'd just been on board with doing it as and when I asked… We can't let him turning me down become a regular thing... We've got to do it before tonight's over..._

"We'll just do it the normal way."

"That's fine, you don't have to."

 _I don't have to?_

"What are you talking about? Don't think I don't enjoy this because I fancied a change. It wasn't because of any problem with you." He takes Kiyama's hand into his and kisses the back of it. He looks up at him pleadingly.

"I don't wanna hurt you."

"Of course not, where'd you get that idea?"

"Last week."

"So now you've felt it, you feel sorry for me?"

"Shouldn't I?"

"Not really, it's not that bad. That was your first time. You can't compare that to how I feel."

"So you're fine?"

"Yes."

"It doesn't hurt at all?"

"Only for a second. You're right to have been worried but there's no need now." He hugs him and pats his back.

*****END OF FLASHBACK(ception)*****

"Then we just carried on like before, as if it never happened. You must have been seriously putting on a brave face that weekend, at the university. Those jokes were definitely in bad taste. You went along with it, your same old fearless self but you're a lot more unapologetic than you once were, which I like. You shouldn't bottle things up like that."

"Let's just say, before I got this juzu*, I didn't and look where it got me. I lost my temper and it was all my fault."

Author's note →rosary/ prayer beads


	94. Chapter 94

"It's not your fault that you're alive and he's dead."

" _I_ killed him."

"No, he's dead but you didn't kill him by your own hands."

"I started the fight that got him killed. Then he sacrificed himself for my sake."

"He wanted you to live, so you should make the most of it. You can't keep putting yourself through it, you're not gonna pay him back if you keep saying things like that. You've got to make your life have value and do something useful with it."

"I'll try to make my life have meaning… I just don't see why I matter so much."

"You mattered to him like you matter to me and I'd do the same for you."

"I get the meaning behind it, but I wish you wouldn't. I'm not worth it."

"For me, the world without you has no meaning."

"If I lost you as well there would be nothing but despair for me. Then I'd know."

"Know what?"

"It was part of a streak… I don't deserve you. If you want you can leave now and save yourself..."

"From what? You've got your problems and I've got mine we deserve each other. I know for a fact that no one would suit me or keep me balanced better. I feel like I can tell you anything."

"Not that I'd be able to stop you."

"See, we have such a continuous effortless repartee going on! You're the yang to my yin."

"You've got that much right."

"I can tell you anything and you said you'd answer my questions so, why did you think you didn't ever wanna have sex again?" Kiyama nods, glumly.

"I know I liked doing it to you… And the thought of me making you scream in agony rather than pleasure made me feel guilty and so I'd had my comeuppance… I thought you just made yourself get used to it because you loved me. I couldn't speak after that emotional turmoil."

"And the actual pain."

"Well yeah, don't get me started on that, from the second you finished my eyes started watering. Until then I'd just been gritting my teeth and trying to ignore it but then it all came at once in a big flood. If I'd tried to speak I would've got choked up."

"This is all my fault, I was too inexperienced! I was impatient, inconsiderate, I'm an idiot, no wonder you were so tense."

"Don't you dare start crying, not in public, you weren't to know."

"I didn't even give you a minute to adjust I just went for it, full throttle. Of course _you_ wouldn't stop me, I thought you were _really_ disinterested but I just overestimated your pain threshold! Why didn't I think!? It was your first time, it doesn't matter how strong you seem, I couldn't have possibly prepared you for that… It was all so half-hearted, nowhere near as painstakingly gentle and patient as you were. Forgive me Yama-chan."

"There's nothing to forgive, that's all behind me."

"Yeah, but!"

"There's nothing wrong with me, seriously. I am sorry I messed up the image you had in your head that I was this big, strong, indestructible guy, that's as invincible as he looks and acts."

"Don't start apologising again. Look at me, I put you through all that and I'm making it all about myself, even now."

"I just don't want you to think any less of me for what happened."

"Why would I?"

"You're looking at me differently."

"That's concern."

"I don't like it, I'd rather you didn't think about my feelings. That's how it's always been."

"No matter what, I always thought about them and had them in mind, but I never thought I'd be _so_ insensitive."

"That's part of your nature, can we move past it? When I said 'that's how it's always been' I meant, I never told you things, never reacted, I just got up, dusted myself off and moved on."

"Eh?"

"Once, a woman with four kids was walking them to school, but there were some bins in the way. So, it narrowed the path. I stood on the kerb and let them past. As she thanked me a single decker bus drove into my right arm. I just put it back in and carried on walking."

"When was this?"

"Last year of middle school."

"Were you ok?"

"I choked and my eyes watered a bit, which must have been normal, but moved on."

"And you never told anyone? Or pressed charges?"

"The wheels didn't roll over me, the driver must have thought I was fine, so that's not a hit and run."

"Didn't you feel like you were owed retribution? At least a year's free travel, for compensation?"

"There was nothing wrong, no blood, I was still standing. Nothing broken, not even a bruise." "This is like that time at the buffet where you got food poisoning and I didn't even know you were ill, till you threw up in town."

"I didn't mean to I fought against it for as long as I could, but I lost control over my body, it was devastating and that's not the sort of experience anyone wants to share."

"You went to a bush to do it, but I followed you, you don't want to do _anything_ 'undignified' in front of anyone, do you? Does this have anything to do with your unwillingness to travel by car? You get car sick, but would rather not show your weakness? You don't have to try to impress me, anymore. You're just a human, like anyone else, we all have flaws. Like you said in that storage cupboard you're 'not a machine'."

"I don't need you to feel sorry for me. That _was_ the second time, it probably took you a while to clock on because I wasn't ill, I just over ate."

"There you go again, you're not invulnerable to illness…"

"I am."

"You're an idiot if you think that. I've seen you get ill. You probably don't remember the events."

"In was barely even a couch, you were just exaggerating effects. We could've totally gone out that day."

"Yeah, then you would've died on the street or something because I have a habit of pushing you too far without you being able to say anything. a\and _I_ wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

 _He really doesn't think before speaking I know he doesn't know what it's like to lose someone you care about on the street and not be able to forgive yourself so I won't bring it up..._

"Drama queen, or what? Can you stop linking it back to that event, please? We'd both rather forget about it. You wish it never happened I wish in never happened, so why don't we just pretend it didn't."

"Stop your denial."

"Why do you insist on being so open?"

"I think you'd benefit from being more open. You've got your health to think about. "

"Please don't bring that up."

"How are you gonna stop me?"

"It's funny how you pretend to care but really don't."

"You know you love me~ Even if I don't make it easy, but I do care! Which links back to my point I know you're not and don't have a problem with you being vincible. You worry more about me than you do yourself so I do think it would be good if you were more open, because, as you know I have a tendency to not think about anything but myself and you can easily get overshadowed. If you don't speak up you could get hurt."

"That's a risk I'm willing to take."

"You can be ill and that's ok. It's not a 'failure' of your immune system."

"It is."

"Well still. You don't have to act tough with me of all people. That time you were sick was proof."

"Maybe that's about right, since you didn't stop being an arse hole to me."


	95. Chapter 95

"Can't you just agree that I ruined it for you? You've had a terrible first experience."

"It was with you and that's all that matters. You won't do it ever again."

"And that's fair, I won't ask again."

"Don't be like that… It wasn't _that_ bad."

"Stop covering for me, I was wrong. Tell me it was terrible. We both know it."

"It wasn't the best experience I've ever had."

"Describe it without using a negative."

"I disliked it."

"Come on Yama-chan, be a bit harsher, I hurt you."

"You made a mistake."

"I want you to seriously say what you feel because you've kept inside you this whole time, for want of a better term. Tell me all the details you're leaving out."

"Ok, I said if I'd talked I'd have got choked up, but when I turned away I cried silently and bit the pillow, so no sound would come out."

"Is there anything else?"

"I didn't know it at the time but when I woke up there was some blood and It hurt for a few days after."

"I gave you internal injuries!?"

 _I blamed him for being quiet and not interacting with me the way I planned… He wasn't even that interested in the first place… He's too forgiving!... Never asking for help… Never properly emoting… I bet I'm not gonna be able to get him to see a GP or ask for directions later in life... He needs to stop being a 'man' and confront his feelings… I need him to react somehow… I seriously don't deserve him… After all the nuisance I've caused him! All the things I've done to him both in and out of my head, he sticks around and puts up with me?… I'm going to_ _ **have**_ _to keep him, I can't live without him…_ He hugs Kiyama on the public street, to his dismay.

"Please be a little bit upset, let me see your emotions, I broke a part of you. Get mad I haven't even said sorry yet, this all started with you saying sorry to me, this is inexcusable!…" Kiyama goes quiet again and doesn't look at Mizusawa. He pulls away from Mizusawa and tries to walk away but he grabs his wrist to stop him. "I'm really sorry Yama-chan… Can you look at me?" Kiyama still doesn't. He loses his patience and once again speaks his mind. "I tore your arsehole to shreds with my incompetence. You _bled_ because of me!"

*****END OF FLASHBACK*****

"Ok, too much information! Stop, stop I don't want to hear anymore!"

"What's wrong? Are you being sick?"

"No, I just don't like blood and guts spare me the graphic details. I don't wanna think about things like that!... You're scaring me, you were talking about his eyesight then you went off on a tangent I listened because it was in my best interest, since I'm planning on trying something like that in the future… Am I in big trouble?"

"No why would you say that?"

"I didn't like the sound of that… We're both inexperienced, I always manage to get injured while not even doing dangerous things and anki's is bigger than yours so, I'm doomed! I can't do that. I'm not as strong as Kiyama-san."

"No, you're not gonna have to worry about anything like that."

"How do you know?"

"You've been preparing for the past few months."

"The only preparation he got, which was seriously irresponsible on my part was a ten minute rim job and a bit of strategic fingering. I should've been more careful, which Wataru will be, since he's a top."

"Eh?"

"They like to make everything about us… You'll see, once you get to that point not a single selfish thought will cross through his mind."

"I'm still not happy about what I've heard."

"There's no way anything like that could possibly happen because by then you _will_ be ready. it's all your choice you decide if _and_ when the time _and_ the place."

"Isn't it a little bit his decision?"

"Of course it is, but he'll always say yes. He's ready, waiting and willing. Don't you dare you choose do it unless you are fully ready, because the fact is that it'll probably end up going wrong, like it did for us. You both have to be equally on board, rather than just one of you being all gung-ho about it. Never disagree on whether you're going to do it because if you do that means you shouldn't. Even if you're in bed together you can say no. Even if he starts you can make him stop. I don't think Yama-chan ever really thought about himself at that time and even after… The only way to safely do that kind of thing is if you're both on the same page. He was just willing, because _I_ asked, not because _he_ wanted to and that was the fatal mistake. With things like this that are so intimate and personal, you need to value yourself and your own opinions. That's the best advice I can give. Just respect yourself and your own boundaries and he'll follow. You need to both be patient I know he's already got it in him to, waiting until graduation and all that. But you need to be patient with yourself and not worry about what he'll think because at the end of the day he's going to keep loving you either way.

"I know that, it's just not really sinking in. Hypothetically what if he doesn't?"

"If a person can stop 'loving' you that easily, they never loved you in the first place and if it's a subject like that that makes them decide to leave you, they weren't worth it."

"I've always done my best not to let people down."

"Exactly, but this is about understanding each other and if one of you stays quiet, that's a recipe for disaster. Like I said, he'll do his best, but he can't read your mind so make sure you speak up. For my sake, if any good comes of this I'd want it to be that you learn from my mistake and heed my warnings. Let what I just told you be a cautionary tale. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, it's important that you know that. Yama-chan didn't since he's felt inappropriately guilty for a long time and likes to think he has to repay everyone for everything, because he doesn't think he's worthy. You can't be like that, it's nice enough to have him be there for you, but he never looks out for himself so I have to be there for him otherwise he'll end up hurt or in trouble. He still thinks he owes me for putting up with him and his sulkiness. Like I told you in that story, he even offered to break up with me because he thought I could do better. I want him to snap out of it, but you can't blame him after the things he's seen. He's had a lot of heartbreak and he feels like he's the one to blame for all of it, even the completely unavoidable things. Like being gay."

"He's guilty about that?"

"He's having to be dishonest because of his parents' perspectives but he's caused them a lot of trouble before that so it could be a last straw before they kick him out."

"Being a yankee and having the police involved in certain things?"

"Anyway don't concern yourself with that I wanna know the things I accidentally said haven't had a lasting effect on you. I know he would rather I didn't mention it again but it does feel good to get it off my chest."


	96. Chapter 96

"Do you think you'll ever be able to regulate what comes out of your mouth?"

"I'm just a very and easy going person, I don't normally do that sort of thing, in my house, we say what's on our minds. I don't think I've ever had a noteworthy thought and not shared it. Part of that must be because we were never shushed or told off for having speaking up. It fact, we were encouraged. There are some things I should probably keep to myself but it would definitely bother me more if I did… That's the first thing about our relationship I haven't told my sister, it just had to come out… She probably would've slapped me, it's not as if I wouldn't have deserved it... You still look worried. Now you've got that advice, you can avoid all those problems. "

"It won't hurt?"

"It will."

"Ok, but it won't be enough to drive me to tears, surely!?"

"That depends on your pain threshold."

"You're not reassuring me at all."

"Would you rather I let you live in blissful ignorance? Then somewhere down the line you'd be in for a nasty surprise."

"So, there'll be no blood?"

"No, I'm the idiot."

"Good then I shouldn't worry… What's your problem then?"

"Mine? Have you ever worried about hurting Wataru?"

"Maybe, yeah, when you first explained anal to me."

"And now? Do you think you could hurt him?"

"Not really but, there's a chance right, you can't be too careful… I am more worried about myself, to be fair…"

"Why?"

"You know why."

"Do I?"

"Yeah, you pointed it out to me."

"Is it something that applies to me?"

"No. It's because of my thingy. I could probably fit it through a Jammie Dodger let alone, a doughnut. Now we're both equally humiliated, there was something else I wanted to ask about."

"Ask away."

"What does having a drink have to do with making Kiyama more of an open book?"

"An alcoholic drink."

"Oh _right…_ "

"You have no clue what I'm talking about. The host club you work at serves them."

"Oh! Like wine?"

"Yes and beer, spirits you name it. It turns your face red, you lose your inhibitions and you become a lot more open."

"Sounds like the 'medicine' My dad took right when my mum died."

"Yeah, it _is_ a drug, it's an intoxicant. Every time a person gets drunk it's the effect of the poison, messing around with the cognitions in your brain. In causes liver damage every time you drink, because the body doesn't like it, you may end up being sick and that's based on something known as a tolerance. Obviously, you can only accept a certain level of a poison at once so the body tries to get rid of it. Rather than digesting it and letting all the toxins damage the body. Otherwise, you could die of something called alcohol poisoning, if you binge drink." "

Sounds like very risky business to me."

"It is."

"Why do people drink?"

"For recreation."

"Eh?"

"It makes them feel good, if only briefly. Unfortunately, some people use it as a vice to escape their everyday problems."

"So, my dad got 'drunk' every day after my mum died? I'm never going to drink. In seems like a bad idea."

"That's part of the fun!" He winks.

"Did you sort it out between you?"

"Nothing was _really_ wrong I was 'overreacting', at least that's what he thought

*****FLASHBACK*****

"Can you just go back to normal and not worry about me being sensitive? No more of that pitiful look in your eye."

"I can't help it, I wanna protect you, Yama-chan."

"I'm sure you do. Thanks, I appreciate it, but really, I'm fine."

"I know you're fine, you're 'fine' when you're not fine, so it doesn't really mean much coming from you. You're a trooper and even if you don't need it I'll try to protect you."

 _Even if that means I'll never shag him again…_

"Stop getting all mushy."

"I need to make it up to you."

"I bet you wish you didn't know."

"Well yeah, I'd rather not feel so guilty…"

"Then I should've kept my mouth shut."

"No, I had to know. I don't mean it like that, I'd rather _I_ never made you feel like that in the first place."

"How can I make the guilt go away?"

"You can't, that's not for you to worry about, anyway. It'll take time, but I'm going to have to forgive myself first and that's not something you can grant me. Even if you got in a flap about it, like I wanted you to, nothing would change. I'm at fault and it's a wrong I can't right."

"I don't think you did a rush job with the preparation because you were overly keen or selfish, it's because I was nervous so _I_ told you to hurry. You couldn't possibly have known that that wasn't actually ready. The anticipation was building and my impatience got the better of me. I wanted you to get on with it and spare me the anxiousness and tension that came from waiting. We were both wrong. Neither of us thought we didn't spend enough time on the setup and I never would've guessed what was coming up was gonna feel worse than the sense of impending doom I'd felt for the past twenty four-hours." Mizusawa gasps.

' _Impending doom'!_

"It's not to do with you, I had my own narrow-minded preconceptions about doing this sort of thing. I knew I couldn't just keep avoiding the question and denying you any longer."

"You didn't have to."

"How would you have felt if I said 'no thanks'? I felt bad enough leaving you to it the first time. I knew the next time we did it, it'd be your turn. I tried to prepare myself mentally and I was willing to do it but I wasn't really ready."

"Yama-chan…"

"No, you were great about it, you didn't put any pressure on me whatsoever, you were really relaxed about it but I didn't want you to think I was stubborn and inflexible. Not man enough to reciprocate."

"That's silly, I'd never think less of you for a reason like that." He brushes his hand against Kiyama's and gives a firm reassuring squeeze, again in public. Kiyama accepts it, on instinct and breathes a sigh of relief as he is comforted by the touch of his love. The feeling is only brief as he remembers where he is and retracts his hand. That violation of the unspoken rules leads him to chose to express his feelings without being prompted.


	97. Chapter 97

**There will be a bonus today, since it's the end of term.**

"Once this conversation is over, I want you to go back to the same insensitive Mizusawa I know and love. Please feel free to make jokes at my expense and walk all over my non-existent feelings. I find it funny when you try to get a rise out of me most of the time. Can you just get over it, because you're making me wish I could take my words back. I'm sure we've all got our own fair share of weaknesses, they don't have to hold us back. Ignore mine, like I do. I like your jokes, I didn't choose you for being kind or sensible."

" _I_ chose you."

" _I_ chose to say yes."

"I _asked_ you."

"Trust me because, as you know, I don't actually have the balls to initiate a conversation with anyone I don't fully know. I haven't even got the guts to knock on doors, but because it was you, I'd been ever so subtly, giving you the eyes from before you started talking to me. I let you know I was interested. Since you were confident you could up interpret it as you liked and choose me based on the choice I made available, when they gave you all those fleeting glances. As you know I'm a really boring person."

"No you're not, otherwise I'd have got bored of you long long ago. You're full of hidden surprises."

"Fine, we can say that outside of sport and before you, I never had much of a livelihood. When I was younger I'd read non-fiction books from front to back and in one of the 'Ripley's believe it or not' books or whatever it was, it told me that if you like someone you, copy them unconsciously so I copied you in a futile attempt to communicate that I liked you because if you knew that fact it'd be a love confession. I would have been a lot shyer about doing it if I knew it would actually work out."

"I get that you're able to hold in your feelings but, I don't get how you coped with all that."

"I didn't cope at all I just hid what was going on with me. As you can imagine I've been in some very dark places in the past but it was one of my lowest points. I could hardly sleep from the guilt. I laid on my side and the tears were hot on my face I couldn't see anything... I couldn't feel anything and yet I could feel everything. The tears streamed down my face leaving a burning trail behind as they seared my skin. I was drifting in and out of consciousness... I felt like I was moving, even though I was still. The strange pulsating sensation rippled throughout my whole body. I couldn't even think as my body was entirely consumed by the agony."

 _Poor Yama-chan, it hurts me to hear this, he's really good at going to detail when I push him… It's hard to bear the burden. I have to take it all in and stay strong for him. No sad faces of pitiful looks. He was right about me not being ready to hear this, but once that tap is turned on it can't be turned off… Hearing it, for me, can't even be as bad as living it, for him was…_

"Excruciating pain… Sparing your feelings aside, I don't know how much of this I want to disclose."

"Nah, Yama-chan, keep going, I want you to get into the habit of expressing yourself, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel." Kiyama obeys without hesitation.

"I could feel in every fibre of my body. I wanted my mother more than anything… As strict and unfeeling as she is I just felt more and more drawn to her. I know my mum is nothing like yours but I've got a history of being a bit of a 'mummy's boy' whenever there was an earthquake anything worrying me I always found her, whether or not she felt like giving me the time of day. She was just my go to scared place, whatever was wrong she'd somehow make it better."

 _If his mum is his go to safe place was he scared of me!? No, he was worried about having hurt me the same way in the past. He tries so hard to be stoic because he feels like he's doing everyone a favour by keeping his feelings to himself... It's not as if anything good as ever come of him displaying emotions… It always got him in trouble... I suppose having always been taught to be reserved and hold back it's no wonder he's uncomfortable expressing his true feelings... I can see how it would look like the only way to avoid anything like what went on before happening again, would be to do the only thing that seems to work..._

"That sort of dependence is a bit of a burden, I tried to drop it a long time ago."

 _I also went to my mum when I was scared, but she'd never refuse me or think of me as a burden of a softie or cry baby… It must be so hard being told your feelings are wrong and that you shouldn't share them because nobody cares... I know he's the loudest most outgoing of his siblings but I can see how he'd turn out to seem quiet, to the likes of me..._

"You mean you try not to seek comfort because you don't wanna get in the way? You didn't tell me you were hurt because as long as I was happy you didn't care? I just can't picture being anywhere near as selfless as you... Didn't you go home and hug your mother? Cry on her lap about how much you hated me and how I did you wrong?" Mizusawa allows his insecurity to get the better of him. "Did she pat you on the head and tell you to leave me?"

"What makes you think she knows?"

"I can imagine her giving you a brew and kissing your forehead. She'd be a mother to you and you'd be her baby again."

 _I don't know if I ever was..._

"I don't tell her anything. If I tried to hug her she'd think there was something wrong with me, turn up her nose and hold still until I stopped. I don't do hugs, they're exclusive to you, since they mostly involve you jumping on me and me giving in. She'd certainly be revolted if I decided to suddenly display my affection to her or break down crying in front of her. She'd think I was gonna have another 'episode'... She'd try to 'fix' me and make me as non-emotive as her. I'm sure they've only ever done it three times, for conception purposes."

"Being 'drawn to her' doesn't have anything to do with you regretting being gay, does it? Because of me!?"

 _How could I make it about myself after all that? And sure he'd rather get away from that sensitive subject…_

"No, I'd never regret any second of being gay with you. I'm finally being true to myself. There's no going back, I'm sticking with you till the end. Every moment's been a blast apart from that one. I was weak again... I've had intentions of keeping my emotions away from you since that day."

"That fateful day?"

"Let's not go back down that road again. I basically just felt like she'd know what to do, anything to stop it. I was aching and throbbing it swelled and subdued again and again. Sometimes it felt like it was over and it wasn't. I was being tormented by the pain and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt sick and dizzy but I couldn't give any of that away, then you'd worry and we'd both feel it… And we both go through it together."

"That's what I'm here for. I want what's best for you."

"I feel the same, but I'm not a complainer. I don't see the point in sharing your misery."

 _My thoughtlessness made him miserable and he was thinking of me the whole time... What a sweetheart!_

"A problem shared is a problem halved. You're supposed to tell people because it'll make you feel better."

"I don't want to be selfish, I've changed my ways and I need to make amends."

"Am I selfish when I tell you what's on my mind?"

 _I know I'm a bit self-centred But that's got to change, from today…_

"No, that's just conversation."

"What's the difference?"

"By saying this, I'm hurting you. You're mad at yourself and I don't want you to be. It makes me want to take all my words back and be quiet again."

"Gosh! Yama-chan, don't you ever feel like saying 'Mizusawa shut your mouth, I've got bigger things going on than you have ever had to, or ever will have to worry about'!?"

"Why would I do that?"


	98. Chapter 98

"I'm a self-centred twat!?"

"You're _my_ 'self-centred twat', I don't care as long as you're happy. Try as you might you can't irritate me."

"Come on, I irritate myself. What was going through your head when you laid there, silently?"

"I was thinking about how desperately I wished I could make myself worthy of your love. I want you to have a perfect life and you can't possibly have one as long as you're with me."

"You need to have a higher opinion of yourself, Yama-chan."

"I want to for your sake, but it's hard especially when I'd just be kidding myself to say I haven't done wrong."

"We all have and we've established that no one has died by your hands."

"I feel like I'm just holding you captive… Encouraging you to stick around for my sake, my pleasure, my happiness... I don't give anything in return."

"Are you forgetting that you make _me_ happy? That I have a deep connection with you, unlike any before? That ever have been or ever will be in this universe!? That you are irreplaceable to me?" Kiyama's eyebrows slowly and questioningly sink down as studies his face, in silence, looking for any hints of insincerity. "You can't be surprised to hear that. I love you and I'm not just saying it, I mean it. Now let's put the you being worthless matter to bed, because I couldn't disagree any more than I already do."

"I plan to, sorry for letting you down."

"You just hopped up and carried on as if nothing was wrong. You even had a smile on your face."

"I was thinking of you and how much you've done for me I had to show you my gratitude. It still hurt by the time I woke up but it stopped pulsating. It's stung and burned for a while after, though…"

"Go on."

"Ah, I can't stand confessing this to you. I'm used to making myself sick, but I can't stand the thought of making you sick of me, not intentionally."

"Yama-chan, what happened to you doing as I said?"

"Sorry, I don't want to make excuses but it's just tough, to be honest to you and myself."

"Please, Yama-chan, I won't judge you."

"I'd never expect you to do a thing like that, I must just have too much pride to be honest."

"You're ok with me, _this_ isn't going to end over such a small issue especially not after what I put you me, you don't deserve to have to pretend it never happened and I deserve to hear what I've done wrong."

"That's the _exact_ opposite of what I think, but if it's what you want it's what you'll get... I cried every time I went to the toilet for a week after. I hated myself so much for not being able to cope with what I'd put you through."

"I had to beg you the first time and the time after I topped. It was no suffering for me whatsoever, not on any level."

"I didn't know that. Then, I felt guilty for being negative... I was taught not to be hateful, it's another one of those rules young me ignored. I've started to appreciate it since the incident, but I felt like I was the only person I could hate with a clear conscience, since I deserved it so much. I was disgusted with myself for being such a wimp."


	99. Chapter 99

**For festive purposes and since we're coming up on chapter 100, not that it's going to be anything special, why not make it a double?**

"A wimp?"

"Can we stop?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Crying alone because of a bit of pain? It was a bit tricky to try to walk normally after... Every time I went... I just remembered it, but its just a good thing that I've got a fibre rich diet."

 _Goodness gracious me! I've traumatised him…_

"I think I never wanted to do it again or..." He turns away.

"Or what?" Mizusawa takes his hand.

"Can you not look at me so closely, please? I don't wanna be seen right now, not like this."

 _I'm sure there was an emotional aspect linked to me getting so upset by the memory of it… If he keeps 'trying to make me feel better' about this, I might lose control again... I can't cry in front of him, him knowing all this is bad enough…_

"I won't look at you, just say how you felt."

"I wanted to drop dead. Every time I felt that sharp pain I remembered, the way I thought I made _you_ feel… You feel responsible, but I might've been unconsciously trying to reject you and I know it's important to relax at the start."

"So you're saying it's all your fault? White knight complex or what!? You have to save everyone, don't you? You're even trying to make up excuses to save me from my own guilt!"

 _He mustn't realise that his persistent and unfaltering kindness only makes me feel worse… I need to do something for him and if this is what he wants that's fine by me..._

"We'll move past it, for your sake, I won't feel sorry for you anymore. I know you're a big _strong_ man!" He mockingly squeezes his bicep for emphasis.

"Oi don't! Wait, you're patronising me to take the mick!? Few." He slaps his back affectionately, before saying. "Cheers."

*****END OF FLASHBACK*****

"Wow, you two really are perfect for each other, considering he likes it when you say all those terrible things to him. Plus he's a good listener and you love to talk! You've kind of restored my confidence...You can really talk, can't you?"

"We've established this."

"It's all about yourself as well."

"What can I say? A lot of interesting things worth sharing happen to me."

"You complain about him not telling you anything but he seems to tell you a lot, even what's _way_ more than I needed to know."

"He only tells me when I ask."

"Then why don't you ask more?"

"I don't like asking and he doesn't like telling me, it works."

"Does it?"

"What if I don't want to know the answer?"

"Then don't ask, you should consider yourself lucky."

"Lucky how? He barely says a word unless I force him to, it's as if he can't be bothered to talk to me. Oh, was that an indirect insult to me? I'm so unaware sometimes..."

"He talks to you more than anyone else in the world and you're lucky that you decide what he says and when he says it, you told me about a lot of stuff that I really didn't want to know about we started by saying you were busy and I was busy and that was going to be the end of the conversation but you digressed, big time."

"I know it always happens without me noticing but I like to talk, Yama-chan always likes to use it to his advantage to avoid certain subjects. He never tells me anything, not even minor things."

"Like what?"

*****FLASHBACK*****

"Yama-chan, you're boiling."

"Am I?"

"Yeah, it's like a Dutch oven under here."

"Sorry."

"No, I think you're sick."

"Don't say that." He croaks then tries to subtly clear his throat so it doesn't look like a cough.

"Yes, you are. They say an idiot never catches a cold but the reality is he never realises he's got one."

"That's because I don't."

"I'm going to get your mum."

"There's no need to bother her, she'll occupy herself for the rest of the day and we'll never be alone."

"You find that a bother? I'd love it if my mum fussed over me!"

"But it never ends."

"I'll take care of you."

"I'm fine... I don't act any differently when I'm ill. It's just a bit of pain in my head, neck and throat that maybe leads to my shoulders but that's it. Well, my nose might drip a bit more and it's harder to breathe but- Oh no, it's starting and you're not gonna like what you see. I can put on a front publicly but- I think ins best you go."

"I won't."

"Don't be stubborn, you'll soon regret it."

"Are you saying you're a big softy when it comes to getting ill and it's her fault for being there?"

"Your mother's a career woman too, doesn't she overcompensate with the nurturing?"

"Nah she doesn't have the time, she's almost as mean as I am to you."

"I think she's a delight, but I get you, I give you almost as much special treatment as mine gives me and I do it because you like it for some reason, not because you _need_ it."

"Don't take it the wrong way."

"I can see her imagining her laid back approach to child rearing, that my grandmother never approved, of was the reason for me becoming a Yankee."

"' _Laid_ back'?"

"She's too soft."

"In what way?"

"Because she's at the top now, she tries to pay me back for all the time she was working her way up and left me to it, back when I was one of the worst sons that you could ever hope for clingy, over-reliant, you name it, I eventually learnt to reject her so, I wouldn't feel rejected myself she was actually kind of happy after I stopped being so dependent and immature." "Explain."

 _I don't know whether I should interrupt since the illness is making him talk more freely… He probably hasn't even noticed he's telling me personal things… He must be feverish._


	100. Chapter 100

**Or call it a triple, I'm just feeling generous, this** ** _is_** **the last time I update this story before story number two comes into play on Sunday.**

"All soft or childish behaviour was not tolerated."

 _He still keeps things short and to the point, I probably should have an input._

"Such as?"

"I'm sure we've covered that I'm the loudest most shameless person in my family."

"I still need you to elaborate.

"Does this mean you weren't listening when I first told you?"

"I try to even when things don't concern me, but since it's you, it's linked to me, of course I listened, this is just a refresher."

"I had to learn not to cry, make a lot of noise or indiscriminate physical contact."

"From when?"

"You understand that I was a really unpleasant Infant -because I told you- and I pretty much stopped any of that stuff after two which was not speedy enough."

"And there _I_ was getting annoyed that my mum doesn't bake, yours doesn't do affection."

"So, now I don't like those things and avoid them."

"I can see that."

"It was so easy to displease her and though I've done that my whole life, without fail, she still gives me special treatment."

"Which you don't like?"

"The codling is insulting…"

"I know you've never appreciated it for some reason, but I like being taken care of and spoilt rotten, I'm just disappointed that you're the _only_ one that's ever afforded me that privilege or treated me like I was someone special."

"You are."

"I've always known that, but you're the first person that's ever actually agreed."

" _I_ can't ask for help, its like admitting defeat."

"No, it's like saying you're not going to give up and you keep trying even when you're struggling. You'll do your best, whether or not you involve a second person. I know what they say about men with colds and it's fine I'd like to see that vulnerable side to you."

"I don't want to show it, so I'll sit here and pretend to be well until you leave."

"You've never tried to kick me out of your house before and you're not about to succeed at it. I won't let you get into any bad habits. The only way you can get away from me is by running."

"Ok then, shall we go out?"

"No, you're staying right here in bed mister, there's nowhere to run."

"Who does that benefit?"

"You." He nods reluctantly then rubs his left eye Mizusawa pulls his arm away. "Don't rub it, you'll make it worse."

"This is an interesting side to you..."

"Are you trying to test my patience? Indicating that I don't _actually_ care about you?"

"Then can you come back to bed?"

"Let me get a surgical mask. And I'll read to you."

"You don't have to treat me so specially."

"I want to."

"That's new."

"Well don't get used to it if I didn't have reservations about striking a sick person I'd have kicked you for that last remark."

"You can still do it, it won't hurt, just as much as it normally doesn't."

"Don't try to provoke me because it's not gonna work. I won't stop feeling sorry for you no matter how detestable you are and I won't even think about doing Etchi with you."

"I forgot about that and who asked anyway? You're just having your usual perverted thoughts. I know you want to."

"Well you're right about that. I always want to unless I just did."

"I'll never understand that, I mainly forget about it."

"Until you _see_ me?"

"Until you bring it up."

"Well then, this is gonna be the most tame boring Sunday of your life."

"I doubt it."

"Oh yeah!? There _was_ a time before I visited and even before that, a time before we met! You must have been bored out of your skull! Actually, how could you have been? You didn't know what you were missing! This isn't the most boring time of your life cos I'm here but- Where do you think you're going?"

"You were having a conversation with yourself and I thought you'd be content if I left you to it."

"I won't let you get away that easily."

"You're making me realise how much I don't like being told what to do."

"But I'm a-" Kiyama pulls the surgical mask down and stops his lips with a kiss.


	101. Chapter 101

"What are you doing!? I know you only act like this when you want to avoid something, in this case, it's me 'codling' you. You find me being nice disturbing, because it's unlike me so doesn't suit me but-" Kiyama kisses him again and pulls Mizusawa onto the bed with him. "You're too hot get off me!"

"That's the first time I've ever heard _you_ say such a thing. In another context, it'd be funny to hear that coming from you." For once Kiyama looks visibly displeased.

"What's the matter?"

"You always reject me."

 _So he's more stroppy because he's sick? He was right…_

"I haven't noticed that I do that."

"It's probably because it only works when it suits you, whether or not it suits me is irrelevant."

"That's true… Where were you going anyway?"

"I need to blow my nose."

"Don't stand to leave again, you can do that in front of me. If it wasn't for the temperature, so far, you haven't actually done anything to let me know you're sick. It's impressive how you can put on such a convincing front. I'd like to see you do anything remotely human to see that you actually are one."

"If I can't break the code of not blowing your nose in front of people I'm subhuman?"

"No no no, you seem more like a metahuman, all this time you've never had your defences broken you're still next to indestructible in my eyes, it's been impressive."

"There's a rule."

"We're close enough to ignore it now. My sister does it in front of me."

"I think it might be to do with her not considering how much it could disgust you."

"I know you respect me Yama-chan but I want you to feel comfortable enough to relax in front of me."

"In my experience, that always leads to trouble. With my teachers, mother, the police-"

"I know you've got loads of examples of you being yourself getting you in trouble but you can at least try to relax with me."

"I do, more than with anyone else but not on every level. It's too uncivilised. I don't want to insult your sister but it's just not something I do."

"Because?"

"It goes against some of my personal values."

"More like your mother's values."

"It hasn't done me much good in the past."

"I can't argue with that, I blew my nose in front of you well early on you must have thought I was an undignif _ied-_ "

"No, I didn't."

"Oh crap, I don't really think about this sort of thing, I did that the first time I invited you 'round my house."

"So?"

"You think it's a private thing."

"It is."

"But, didn't you think I was a bit of a 'Shomin* with no manners'?"

"Why would I ever I'd never think anything negative about my favourite person in the whole wide world?"

"Even then?"

"Yeah."

"You didn't treat me like it."

"I'd have done anything for you if you asked."

"If only I'd known that sooner."

"What would you have asked for?"

"You to tell me what you were thinking."

Author's note

*Shomin→ Common folk with no status.


	102. Chapter 102

**Since this is the last update of the year, we'll call it a double shall we?**

"I really don't think you would have benefited from that."  
"Why?"

"Most of the time I didn't know what I was thinking."

"It can seem like that, when you look back in hindsight."

"You seemed to see through it all and know what I was feeling, though."

"No, I just assumed."

"Well, I felt like you understood me better than I do myself."

"Aw Yamachan."

"You didn't expect too much of me and you never doubted me. It was nice to have your support and complete acceptance." His charm gets to Mizusawa and he hugs him, then things start to get heated before he has a sudden realisation.

"We were chatting! Now sit still and listen to me."

"But I'm restless~"

"Don't pull that face with me, young man."

"You're a younger man than me."

"So, the illness is making you argumentative, now? Instead of reading you a story why don't I just tell you one?"

"It's what you do best."

"Oi, I'm good at things besides talking."

"But not as."

"I get why you're likeable but I can also see that going a different way."

"You don't _have_ to stay with the irritating sick-me."

"I know that and you should know that you can't make me leave."

"What about you catching it?"

"This isn't the first time you've worried about making me ill, (though the time before you weren't actually) and it probably won't be the last. You're not usually this chatty. You normally let me carry on with my monologue and I will whether you like it or not. My point was that you didn't make your age clear because you never told me your birthday!"

"So?"

"That's important."

"I don't think you asked."

"But still I shouldn't have to find out from your mother."

"Who should you find out from?"

"You."

*****FLASHBACK(ception)*****

"What's this on the tray outside your door!? Your mother bought you a birthday cake!?"

"She didn't buy it, she made it."

"No, you can pay people to write personalised messages in chocolate."

"She bakes."

"And the standard is _this_ good!?"

"If there are imperfections it wouldn't be a gift worth giving as far as she's concerned."

"Wow! So, she's strict on herself too?" He says while filling his mouth with the cream-filled sugar coated delight.

"Wait don't eat it."

"Why? You don't like sweet things."

"Exactly."

"So, why can't you share it? Is it a sentimental thing?"

"I've never eaten one of her experiments."

"So, she's never made this before?" Kiyama shakes his head. "Wow, it tastes professional! Why didn't you try any of it? You're missing out. What was it a silent rebellion?"

"No."

"Then why?"

"I don't want her to take it as an excuse to make anything else."

"Why?"

"You don't get it and you don't have to."

"Cool, just never throw any of this away."

"I don't my little brother is a fan so, that's fine. I just don't want to say 'it's too sickly sweet for me', 'I don't appreciate you', 'don't waste your time on me'. I was just waiting for her to get the message."

"Eh? Don't you actually communicate?"

"In subtle ways yes, we do."

"So, she doesn't actually _know_ you don't have a sweet tooth?"

"I was trying to send her a message."

"So, by eating this cake ruined your signal? I can just tell her."

"No don't, that's insulting, you can't just tell her I don't like her cake."

"She's your mum if you can't be opinionated to her you can't be opinionated to anyone."

"Leave her alone, today's a really sad day for her."

"It's your _actual_ birthday? Are you kidding me!?"

"I never said that."

"But this is the same date as your birthday, right?"

"Yeah, it's probably a day she wishes she could forget. I know I have nothing to celebrate."

"But, _you_ were born! And I love you!"

"It's not all about what makes you happy."

"So harsh!"

"It's still a really sad day. I don't think me being born is a reason to celebrate. I know _I_ try to forget. It's started now..."

"What has?"

"All that attention..."

"Sounds good to me!"

"Family members saying nice things they don't really mean, just because it's courtesy."

"Nah."

 _I wouldn't be surprised if they actually meant it, he always sees the worst in himself..._

"Yeah, she's probably gonna make us all get dressed up and take us out."

"That sounds like fun."

"I don't want to think about it, though."

"Stop being such a downer. At least one good thing came out of that day."

"Maybe, but it wasn't enough." Mizusawa hugs him and closes his eyes as Kiyama stands there waiting for it to end. Suddenly his eyes snap open and he pushes Kiyama on to the recently made king size bed.

 _Why don't I get an invite!?_

"Mizusawa, you don't have to do any of the stuff you make me do on your birthday. In fact, I would appreciate it if you didn't."

"No, I'm being moody! Why aren't I- If you don't want that you probably want to be excused from Etchi today."

"I didn't know that was possible." Mizusawa gasps. "I mean, not if you still want to."

"Nah, this is your birthday, you should just think about yourself."

"I can't because if I do I'll keep wanting what happened to be undone."

"I get where you're coming from."

"I feel guilty every birthday so, I'd rather not celebrate."


	103. Chapter 103

"Can you be in a good mood for _me_?"

"I'll try."

"That's good enough. I also want you to be honest for me!"

"We'd break up if I was…"

"Because you'd be more brutish and less mild mannered?"

"No, that's against a few policies of mine, I just don't think you'd like it if I wasn't giving you exactly what you want."

"Ok! If you were loud and opinionated too, that _would_ piss me off. Wow, you're really being honest for me already?"

"You like that?"

"I thought you'd think I was lying about bigger things than whether your 'bum looks big in' this that or the other."

"I know you'd never cheat on me, I'm just too precious to lose! And I'm already more than enough to take on board. You don't have time for anyone else." Mizusawa hugs him. "I love you!" Then kisses him on Kiyama's blushing cheek. The fact that he can't hide his delight is even more humiliating.

"I love you back."

"I know It's obvious."

"It's made you happy so far but, shall we call it a day, with the honesty?"

"If you're scared about hurting me with your words-"

"Are you kidding? I'd never do anything to hurt you physically or emotionally. It's my main goal to keep you safe and I've got to keep trying because if I stop thinking, something's gonna go wrong and I'll have no one to blame but myself."

"I've got free will too, surely, if something goes wrong for me, it's at least partially my fault." "No, I've got to prevent that."

"This sounds like a bit of a complex, to me and I get why. I know you'd never deliberately hurt anyone without cause."

"Mistakes are _as_ bad because they have the same outcome."

"No, they're not because they don't have the same intention."

"Even still, failing to prevent it is still a failure. I know I warned you that I was bad news when we were younger and you didn't take any of it on board which I'm selfishly grateful for but you don't have to worry because I'll never do anything to hurt you physically or emotionally so long as-"

"I don't provoke you?"

"No, I'd never-"

"I'm joking."

"Good, because nothing is going to hurt you as long as you let me keep it that way... And I promise you that because nothing has gone wrong since-"

"We met?"

"No, since I started distancing myself from people and became more aware of my behaviour, which tells me that I am to blame and entirely responsible for what my own actions lead to in the past."

"Wait-"

"No, there's a positive part and that means I'm in control and there's no uncertainty. I can make those promises."

"I knew you weren't bad."

"You couldn't possibly know that, if I didn't... Me saying this doesn't mean I'm not bad, I just know there's a better way, which I can sustain, so long as I stay in control. I've never wanted anything thing more in my life than to make you happy and if that means putting you at risk with frequent exposure to the likes of me, ignoring your cat's affection or telling you _just_ what you want to hear so be it."

"And I let you make me happy! Which you like, so that's my good deed!"

"I suppose so."

"Yama-chan, you're such an idiot." He pulls him in and firmly slaps his back, reassuringly. "I'm just kidding, I'm not _that_ selfish. I want you to be happy too."

"You do?"

"As long as it doesn't interfere with my happiness."

"That's a good compromise because I'll always be happy, as long as you are so, I'd never even think about interfering with that."

"If it's something that won't affect me and you think it would make you happy, you can suggest it and I'll choose whether or not to accept or decline your request."

"Well let's end this conversation then."

"But-"

"I plan to be sad today and-"

"If I don't like it I can just go home?"

"No no no, you don't have to sympathise. Even if I don't make it obvious, I like having you around."

"See when you have thoughts as nice as this it makes me wonder why you don't share them. I always want to know what's going on with you."

"I'm still not sure if you'll like me continuing to be honest with you."

"Go for it."

"This is a question but…"

"Out with it."

"If this is my birthday why are you making all the demands and purposely trying to make me uncomfortable?"

"Oh, crap you're right? I suppose _I've_ never been out for a family meal where I was the _biggest_ loser in my family? I don't even know I was doing it, sorry Yama-chan. You're right, you being honest makes me uncomfortable too."

"Guilty?"

"Ok, you can stop now. You didn't have to say another word unless you want to."

"Ok, I've got a request."

"Wow, aren't you cocky today!? It's freaking me out! You know me saying 'you don't have to' is a polite way of saying 'stop', right?"

"Yeah."

"It's as if you've suddenly grown a pair!"

"Oh, Mizusawa you're the best, I thought you'd be all like 'a request!? Anything for you on your birthday!~' But I was totally mistaken, you haven't given me any special treatment even though you think today is an important day… It was exactly what I was about to ask for."

"What was? Me to indiscriminately insult you?"

"Just to please treat this like any other day."

"I can do that for you."

"Do you mind if I involve you in something personal and sentimental?"

"What are you playing at? I love being involved in every aspect of your life. What do you take me for?"

"Please, can you go with me to-"

"Of course I'll accompany you anywhere."

"My mother forbids me from going but it's just been a yearly pilgrimage for me, since I found out, I can't not go and I can't not think about-"

"Don't worry about it, I understand- Well, I can't say I understand, but I get you. I think she won't let you go because she doesn't want to take you or because she does not want to make you miserable."

"It can't be helped."

"You're right about her perhaps not wanting to remember, I think you'd be better off talking about it and-" Kiyama quickly changes the subject do prevent Mizusawa from trying to 'fix' the relationship he has with his mother.'

"We can start by lighting the candles on the butsudan, then we'll quietly sneak out, she never notices."

"I don't think she doesn't notice, I think she lets you go."

"You two have a really good relationship, don't you?"

"She'd be my best friend for life I didn't already have Hamada. Can I pick the flowers?"

"I don't normally take flowers but that's fine."

"I can change your tradition by becoming part of it and we'll do it together in the future… Wow, you're too good at making me forget why I'm mad at you."

"Even though it's my birthday?"

"Don't play that card with me."

"Does this have anything to do with you shoving me onto the bed?"


	104. Chapter 104

"Why aren't I invited!?"

"It's a family thing."

"I'm basically your spouse!"

"I didn't ask for it."

"The last time I went out as a family it was to my sister's burlesque show."

"How ridiculously open you guys are gets less shocking, as time marches on, but this really takes the biscuit."

"Well, at least I brought you."

"Against my will."

"You thought we'd be the only gay guys there and I had to explain that it wasn't about the sex appeal. It's an art, a form of visual expression, we watched it for the entertainment value."

"But we _were_ the only ones that went as a family."

"We'll support her in whatever society at her student union she chooses to join. thank you very much."

"It's a nice sentiment but still a bit far, in this case."

"According to you. _I'd_ go to _my_ daughter's show."

"My daughter would never-"

"Stop being so conservative, we're not going to be strict parents, anyway the more you like something the less they do and the more you dislike it the more they do."

"I like how you haven't had your birthday yet and you're talking about teenagers in the third person."

"Actually my dad told my sister me, him and mum were gonna be at her next show and every one after that and she quit that very night."

"How do you know she actually quit and didn't just say she would?"

"Are you doubting my sister?"

"Aw~ You act like worst enemies, but you secretly like her!"

"What are you talking about?" He laughs.

"Think of it from her point of view. I know you wouldn't give up dancing if you got to go a communal changing room and-"

"Don't make this about me, though that is my favourite subject, but you're right I wouldn't give it up and if you were a pervert like me you wouldn't care how humiliating it was."

"Humiliating?"

"I don't care who sees my body so long as it's an appropriate situation."

"Oh yeah, that's probably just my thing. I'd have a problem showing my body in public, you wouldn't."

"That's enough talk of nudity for now."

"Why? Is thinking bout me in the buff getting you all fired up?" He teases but Kiyama ignores it, as ever, unyielding to his provocation.

"You can come if you want but I'm not really in charge, none of the Monks can come. Not even my favourite..."

"Because they swore to a life of poverty so, wouldn't be able to afford it?"

"No, my mother would have to pay. like she's going to do for you tonight and she wouldn't really mind, but it's just because it's a family thing and you can't just invite one without the rest, that would seem like a bias."

"Your favourite monk? He's drop dead gorgeous isn't he?"

"Please don't think of him like that. He's like a brother to me."

"Even if you had a brother like that I wouldn't be able to help but comment on how beautiful he is."

"I'm glad you've never met my actual big brother. I'm not even over exaggerating when I say that you'd see how not-special I am."

"Yeah, but you've got a great personality."

"Really?" He doesn't say this as if flattered, but more like he's really questioning the accuracy of Mizusawa's judgement.

"It complements mine… Back to my monk, Hideki!"

"Don't call him by his first name and he's my monk."

"Are you getting possessive?"

"Mizusawa."

"What?"

"I don't even get how you'd find me liking him in _that_ way funny enough for you to take the mick about it."

"Did you see the eyelashes!?"

"If this is the way you're gonna talk about him, I'll have no further involvement."

"Oops, you're the birthday boy! I forgot to be nice!"

"No, don't treat me any differently."

"Yeah yeah yeah."

"Now you've got your invite, can you leave it? We both know the day I was born was a devastating day and she would probably like to forget it ever happened just as much as I do."

*****END OF FLASHBACK(ception)*****

Finally seeing that he doesn't stand to gain anything by being dishonest and waiting for Mizusawa to get bored of him, he decides to trick him.

"On second thoughts I'm actually sweating my tits off, which is no easy feat in this weather." He flips off the duvet.

"I knew you were sleeping topless, but what the excuse for- Do you really wanna have a go at explaining that to _your_ mum?"

"I must have unconsciously shedded it during the night. What's up? Is it distracting?"

"No! You need to keep covered no matter how hot you are."

"I'm glad you're being firm, but it's not gonna get much better than this for you, you'll be fed up of me by the end. It's not a vulnerable thing, it's a high maintenance soul-sucking demanding snotty little-"

"Stop trying to push me away, you always do that when you need me."

"I'm just saying, I don't know how long I'm gonna be able to keep that in."

"You're just exaggerating, you always manage to do that when it comes to saying negative things about yourself. And people say _I'm_ the drama queen."

"That's because you are. But I'll probably top you today, in this state and If that's what you want, me to not hold back on the illness, I won't and you'll regret it."

"Do your worst."

"My head hurts."

"I can imagine. Let me get you some painkillers."

"Eh?"

"That wasn't much of a complaint."

"You sympathise and it's not a burden?"

"So, you won't tell me your ailments unless I assure you you're not going to hurt anyone?"

"I haven't been sick since middle school, so I wouldn't know how things have changed."

"More like you haven't known you've been sick since middle school and it's been forever since you last thought about your own feelings?" Mizusawa leaves and comes back where he catches Kiyama smoking. "What are you doing on the balcony?"

"Getting a bit of fresh air."

"It's pissing it down!"

"It's just a light drizzle."

"Ok, you don't normally argue, you've already showed me the worst of it, with your complaints, resistance, back chat and what have you, but I don't care, I'm gonna be here for you, whether you like it or not. It's spitting come back in."

"It's not spitting my grandmother said that 'people in heaven to not spit down on us'."

"I don't think you've ever given me a single detail about yourself, let alone a member of your family unless I ask for it. Something's definitely up, now get in, out of the rain, having your own balcony is just way too convenient for you as a smoker, I don't want you coughing up a lung now."

"Just as sec." He takes another drag and smokes the cigarette down to the quick in just one puff.

"I'm not playing with you mister! Get back inside, you can't carry on standing out here, half naked, you're getting wet."

"It's refreshing."

"I don't care you're unwell and sick people belong in bed."

"But I'm melting~"

"Crap you were right about being a winging little so and so."

"Don't feel obligated to stay." He makes another attempt but this time Mizusawa ignores him.

"Come back in, I brought you some paracetamol."


	105. Chapter 105

"Stop trying to take care of me it's creepy."

"You consider me be _concerned_ creepy but not _all_ that other stuff I do? The fantasies, the perversion, the _observation_?"

"A.K.A Leering at people that aren't me…"

"Oh! You're finally commenting on that! I knew my loyalty meant something to you!"

"Being nice doesn't suit you."

 _More direct criticism?_

"You're right, but my aim here is not just that I want you to get better, but that I want you to spend time with me no matter how much it hurts you."

"That makes more sense... Now that you've got that surgical mask on do you wanna play _that_ game?"

"Stop being foolish, you're sick."

"Well then, why don't you _make_ me better?"

 _And I thought you were a bit of a lush when I tried to intoxicate you..._

"Stop flirting Yamachan, you can't make all this go away by pretending you're alright."

"At least I tried. Wanna lie down, together?"

"Yes, what? I meant no! Shut up and take your medicine."

"You'll have to _give_ it to me."

"Say 'ah'."

"Yes doctor..." He licks his lips and Mizusawa bites his to avoid saying something that could be used against him.

"Look at you, you're all wet now let me get a towel."

"I hope drying heaving, wet, topless men doesn't excite you _too_ much."

"I _never_ said I liked grey tracksuit bottoms, or the way they're accenting those 'v' shaped lines pointing to your nether region."

"Should I take 'em off?"

"Keep your kit on, boy!"

"But I'm so hot~"

"I'm not gonna bang you when you're ill, what if I bang you to death."

 _Then you'd be doing the whole world a favour..._

"I never normally try, when it comes to making moves, but maybe I should stop trying because you reject my affections every single time."

"Well, I know you secretly don't want to and it's just a ploy to distract my attention from being merciful and having pity on you."

"Well, _that_ makes me feel iller."

"I know you think it's your duty to protect me but it can work both ways."

"Because we're gay?"

"No, because I love as much as you love me."

"Wow really?"

"You didn't know that?"

"No." Mizusawa sits up and eases Kiyama's head onto his lap. Then starts to stroke his hair and forehead.

"I know you want me to have this image of you in my head, but its ok to be yourself in front of me."

"It's not that easy."

"It is I do it all the time."

"That's fine because you're great."

"I know, but still..."

"You'd end up not liking me."

"I know your dark past."

"This is different I don't want to ruin your view and have you abandon me."

"I won't, you don't have to say any of the things that will _apparently_ 'frighten me off', but just tell me what's going on now, I know you're ill, you can't hide that."

"Fine, I've been ill for about three weeks off and on and I'm starting to doubt the rule that to can't get sick when you're already ill, I made up."

"Wow and I haven't noticed _this_ long?"

"You just happened to catch me overheating which I regret."

"It can't be helped."

"I don't remember my immune system being this bad. You haven't given me AIDS, have you? You can't get it from sleeping with just any gay guy, it comes from _any_ one who is infected with the Human Immunodeficiency Virus, what kind of image did you have?"

"A really bad one and it's why I wanted to die alone and one of the many reasons I still don't like myself very much."

"Wow this illness is making you shockingly open _and_ people call _me_ dramatic. I don't know how you're feeling right now, but you're not dying, you're probably just a bit run down that's all."

"You're the only reason why I've managed to get to the point where I don't _really_ mind being gay." Mizusawa hugs him. "I'm so sorry you've got to put up with this from me."

"You haven't done anything... Except resist my efforts to take care of you."

"I'm sorry my defences are weak and I can't be the tough guy you deserve."

"Stop apologising for catching a cold, for pity's sake."

"Oh dear, I'm annoying you already."

"You annoy me, but I love you so, none of that matters."

"You don't have to change your personality, just because I'm sick."

"Oi Yama-chan! I do care."

"I believe you."

"Of all the things in the world right now, what do you want the most?"

"You don't actually have a plan to give me what I want do you?"

"I can't give it to you if you don't tell me."

"That's true." Mizusawa looks at him and waits for him to say something, but he doesn't.

"What do you want?"

"To go to sleep."

"Oh yeah, you're ill and I woke you up didn't I? You probably don't want to talk at all."

"Not really."

"Wow you're so blunt, you normally go back on your word when you see that you've offended me. You actually want to go to sleep and ignore me don't you?" Kiyama nods without the slightest bit of hesitation. "What!? Is that the real reason you wanted me to go home?"

"No."

"I never wanted you to have to put up with this. I put you through enough, at it is."

"Don't worry I forgive you."

"Good, can you stop torturing me with all this nice treatment."

"No, tell me how it makes you feel."

"Do I have to?"

"You owe me for your slips of the tongue."


	106. Chapter 106

"It's a mixture of wanting to throw up run away, like my heart's about to beat out of my chest and that my insides are jelly which I can't eat because-"

"It's made from animals? You're being really descriptive."

"It's probably just because I'm ill and nothing to do with your actions, but I just want it to stop."

"No no no, you've told me more than enough."

"I've indulged you now please let me make it up to you."

"Whoa whoa whoa, where do you think you're going you're not going to kiss me with those germy lips!"

"So, I was right about the handkerchief thing?"

"No, I don't think you're gross, I just don't want to catch what you've got, so the mask stays on." Kiyama knows he has never been in control but he has developed various strategies for changing what Mizusawa wants to choose for them both to do. He did think he had him when he made the pun about being hot but, it turns out when he's ill Mizusawa has more restraint than usual, which is bad news if Kiyama wants him to forget about his condition. It usually works the first way but this is his first time being ill with him so, there are special circumstances. Failing change Mizusawa's point of focus, Kiyama opts appeal to his humorous side. "So, what? It's like a chastity belt for your mouth?" Mizusawa blinks at him questioningly barely even acknowledging that it was an attempt at a joke. Following that he tries to appeal to his empathetic side.

"I know there are animals in jelly, but…"

"What is it, Yama-chan?"

"Are you calling me a Herbivore?"

"You're surprisingly sensitive when sick."

"No, you can because I am one in every way. It's fair to say, I am one literally and metaphorically."

"Yama-chan, it's ok to be defensive, making you react excites me."

"I don't know if you'd prefer me to be a meat eater, but it's not something I can change."

"I'd love to be dominated~ Ravaged like an animal and left feeling dirty and used…"

"Please don't go off on one."

"Yamachan! You're so blunt now!"

"You never want to hear about my-"

"I'm sorry I can't be anything but a gentleman to you, but I have a few personal rules based on how reckless and destructive I was in the past."

"But it's fun to be thoughtless and carefree."

"I just can't and you know why. I've got to stay balanced."

"And in control, I get it."

"Sorry again."

"Stop apologising."

"Sorry."

"You're not stopping."

"I really want to say sorry again."

"I thought sick you was about to take a turn for being more on the wild side since you were blunt but it's fluctuating. Every time you slip you try and come back to say sorry for what you've done but, why don't you say exactly what you want to?"

"I don't want to say anything."

"Then why don't you say what you feel?"

"Because every single time I express myself it goes horribly wrong. I've never had any good come of being open it's all lead to trauma, irreparable damage and unhappiness for people I around me."

"So?"

"I say exactly what I want to say plus, some of the other things you inexplicably draw out of me. Everyone else just ignores me which, I like because it's good for them. It keeps them safe, but you love an element of danger and you're always pushing me. I'm just sorry I can't let myself be more exciting for you."

"Oh Yamachan! I didn't know you felt like that! If you don't want to talk don't talk and I'll listen because I've never liked this role. I don't want to take care of you or force you to speak up, I'm usually the complete opposite and today I just wanna be with you and let you know I'm here, if you want."

"That's nice of you, you've always been too good for me, so patient and forgiving, how you put up with it I'll never know."

"Maybe it's your face."

"I prefer yours."

"Oh stop it!" He lies, faking modesty.

"I don't want you to change ok, Mizusawa? I told you to leave, not because I didn't want to have you here, with me, but because I didn't want you to experience any unpleasant sides to me."

"Come on no one's perfect."

"You _still_ haven't met my older brother."

"Your mums kind of perfect too."

"You don't know her past, she's as desperate to impress you as you are to her."

"Nah! Are you saying she's not up to standard so takes it out on you?"

"No, it's more like she had high hopes for me, that I've failed to live up to… I won't go into detail about me being a disappointment, you know the score."

"You're like a different character when you're sick it's miraculous."

"You're being like a different character too, you're actually listening to what I have to say even if you have to push me and even though I don't like talking I appreciate the concern."

"You've been sick off and on for _three_ weeks! Where does it hurt?"

"I told you."

"Here."

"He gestures to his throat area you must just have recurring tonsillitis."

"Of course, your dad's a nurse, so you've got a general understanding of these things."

"Somewhat, yeah!~ We'll have to get them removed."

"I can't be hospitalised but why not but I don't want to make everyone worry."

"I know you like to think about others more than yourself, but I am taking this into my hands _I'll_ think of _you_ this time."

"I'll pass.

"Yama-chan."

"I really love you and you're nicer to me than I deserve but I don't want to be a burden or waste hospital time. I am not going to die because my throat hurts it'll stop hurting by the afternoon and then we can go out like normal at least I know it's not just a regular germ, I wouldn't want to infect you."

"I don't know about how infectious -itises are but just be on the safe side, I'm not taking this mask off."

"I knew you'd be up for it."

"Don't make me regret this."

"You're making me feel guilty, I liedI was just telling you what you wanted to hear to shut you up."

"You do that a lot."

"You're very cocky but I don't have the same symptoms every time, so your diagnosis is wrong.

"Wow Yama-chan, your sickness has changed you, you're so argumentative, right now."

"Sorry."

"Don't apologise now, I'll get it right this time."

"Ok."

"Yama-chan you've got chronic stress."

"I'm not stressed about anything."

"It's immunosuppressive. Even though you eat that healthy diet and you exercise regularly the stress overpowers it all."

"I don't feel stressed."

"I don't think you know how you feel."

"That's true."

"Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing."

"You always say you're fine, come on you can't hide anything from me."

"What about the illness?"

"Ok, you can't stop me from finding out what I want to know. What's up?"

"I really can't think of anything. I've got you, I've got my health... Well, I haven't got my health but I'm alive and that's something."

"You're not happy?"

"I'm totally fine."

"Yama-chan?"

"Stop asking I'm not even that sick I doubt I've got chronic stress. I feel like I would notice."

"Is it about your exams and living up to expectations?"

"What expectations? I'm not in prison and in school, I think I've surpassed them all."

"Is it university applications? You've got to give the best possible impression of yourself and you don't have any good words to say about yourself. Ever."

"Mizusawa you're too kind, you say that as if there's anything good to say about me."

"If you think there's anything wrong with you, you're deluded. Writing that application must be a ball ache. And then you've got to go to interviews talk to strangers for the first time convince them that you're passionate about a career you're still unsure of? I've even got a bit of sympathy stress, Yama-chan don't lie."

"I know it's stupid but I hardly understand what any of those forms mean… How to reply to emails, it's not obvious."

 _I forgot he wasn't computer literate..._

"I just know I'm going to mess it up, then I'll have no one to blame but myself… I doubt they'll even want me with my grades."

"Yama-chan don't catastrophise there's always next year."

"I'll be a Ronin."

"It's better than not trying."

"You can always see the good in everyone. I'm too lucky."

"Now I'm back in a good mood." He kisses Kiyama. "You did it before when you shamelessly accepted my weak diagnosis. You really know how to stroke my ego."

"Among other things..."

*****END OF FLASHBACK*****


	107. Chapter 107

"So, Pokei-Chan that's a roundabout way of saying he likes the way we communicate and it suits us both."

"Roundabout? That's your longest story yet! I'm also feeling like some of it was slightly paraphrased and censored by you. He can't be _that_ tolerant of you and your arrogance."

"He is and that's why he's so great. Did you hear some of the things he said, though? He thinks being listened to is a privilege, I'm the only one that does that. So, I don't have to try very hard to treat him better than he thinks he deserves to be treated, which means he thinks I'm a nicer guy that I actually am... I know you're saying I'm spending a lot of time talking about myself but I just realised, it's mostly me talking about Yama-chan behind his back."

"Why?"

"Did you know that besides everyone in his family Yama-chan is the best person I've ever met."

"And only the best is good enough for you?"

"I never said he was the best, he's not but he's ok and 'ok is wonderful'. He's definitely the love of my life which I realised at the tumbling residential we had, where I threatened to quit. But!" He pauses for dramatic effect, which Nippori falls for.

"But what?"

"Can you believe him, though? He faked being well, then the next time I saw him he completely forgot _all_ that I'd done for him."

"What did you do for him?" Mizusawa takes a sharp inhalation of breath in preparation for reeling off a big long list.

"I- I forgot."

"So, you did nothing?"

I tolerated him."

"He wasn't that bad."

"But he was different. Don't get me wrong but, he needs to know his place. I'll _only_ get close to him when _I_ want to get close to him. The cheeky sod."

"Could you be hurt by how blunt he was?"

"I could be fed up of having to swap places even temporarily, though, he was way less demanding than me. All he wanted was to sleep and not talk. But I didn't let him... He told me a long time ago I could have whatever I wanted from him and he's stuck to that, but I couldn't even give him a break when I forced him to open up and say he needed it. He wasn't his usual self. I know I shouldn't have taken it personally. He was tired, not bored of me. I think I'm just not a very nice person. I couldn't manage to thoughtfully take care of him for the short time he admitted to being even the tiniest bit vulnerable. Which was to a pathogen which is unavoidable and totally out of his control. He was disappointed in himself for letting it affect him but still against me pitying him. I suppose we're both as opposed to that sort of switch as each other. He takes care of me, I get taken care of."

"It's not for me, but whatever floats your boat."

"You still don't get us, do you? It's a give and take kind of thing, if that's how you wanna look at it. I do things that he has to deal with, even though they make him uncomfortable and I have to keep all those secrets."

"You haven't kept a single one."

"But he still trusts me and treasures me and I-"

"You like to walk all over him."

"He's not bothered."

"You _don't_ mind him showering you with praise and gifts?"

"It's great, he thinks he doesn't deserve me so has to earn-"

"How is that fair?"

"I never said it was, I know _you'd_ prefer to do the spoiling yourself, but I like it. He's so good I don't even have to _ask_ him for stuff anymore. I respect him for being a great person not for standing up to my tyranny or having self-respect."

"You're really well suited."

"He's great, isn't he? He wouldn't change me, I wouldn't change him."

"Wouldn't you prefer him to be more positive?"

"Maybe, but if he had self esteem he'd be annoying. He might start demanding that I do stuff for him."

"Like what?"

Treat him properly."

"And you can't?"

"I don't want him to fight with me or start being all opinionated."

"That's not equal."

"I never said I cared about equality it's just whatever suits me. This is way easier for me, do you have any idea how much of a ball ache it is trying to be sensitive to you and Wataru?"

"You should automatically try to be nice to everyone and be as fair and inclusive as you can."

"I'm afraid I'm not able to be very thoughtful, but I can be sorry and I am about the thing that happened in the tangent from why I'm not walking you home today."

"I walk you home, you don't go near my house, remember?"

"Well, my point is that I've never been more sorry in my life."

"For?"

"Are you trying to be mean now, because I know I deserve it, but it's weird coming from you."

"You can't even say it can you, not unless you're speaking without thinking. Kiyama-san deserves better, which you know and it's the one thing you can't bear to talk about."

"I don't like it when people try to beat me at my own game of seeing through people."

"You've got to talk to him."

"That's going to hurt him more than it'll hurt me."

"I doubt it."

"I promise he doesn't like it. I had to _get_ him to update me on how he was, again, the next time we met. He quietly apologised for being an idiot on Sunday then he was all like 'I finally feel better now, maybe you being there helped though probably not because that's not how biology works. It'd be nice if being near the person you love prevented sickness but that's nonsense'."

"Not a lick of credit."

"For?"

"PK! You're rough these days, if you get much meaner I won't find you cute anymore."

"As if I'm aiming for that."

"Yama-chan's so much easier to control! Though, he does consistently do things that I need to make him work on."

"You're getting sidetracked. Stop making excuses."

"You're really bossy when it comes down to it."

"Am I?~"

"I can't believe you're talking like this to your _senpai_ , without any hesitation, it's impressive."

"I never thought of you that way."

"Oi!"

"I _know_ you are, but you don't talk down to me you just slightly underestimate me and it's not that I don't respect you, but I just want to do what's right for the good of others. My dad's even more of a hopeless case than me and I always have to tell him what to do. even my little sister ignores me."

"I can imagine."

"Are you actually going to take _my_ advice?"

"You're not the first one that's told me to talk to him."

"Then get on with it."

"I'm not ready."

"How do you think he felt?"

"Wow, you _really_ do care about other people's feelings."

"As _you_ should."

"It's hard I've only ever thought of myself my _whole_ life.

"Kiyama-san is the exact opposite, Didn't he tell you something along the lines of, whatever he wanted was irrelevant? Then you shamelessly agreed."

"Obviously, because he only seems to start stuff like that at times when I couldn't be less interested."

"How do you think he feels when you do the same?"

"A, I've never asked and, B, he'd never tell me. He _always_ agrees apart from the once, when he _agreed_ the following day."


	108. Chapter 108

"Out of every single person I talk to, even including _Tanaka_ of all people, Yama-chan is the only one that never challenges me. I argue with everyone you, my mum, sister, all my friends Hamada even practically tried to kill me the other day, though I did start on him."

"Eh? I didn't think you were a Yankee."

"He had it coming to him."

"What did he do?"

"He's the reason that trip was so bad."

"Why?"

"He let _that_ secret out. No one at school knows apart from my group and the people I told but, obviously, we both felt betrayed and there was a little fist fight. I lost. Then we were back to being best friends."

"That's nice and simple wait! You didn't do any Etchi, did you?"

"Me and Hamada!?"

"What? No Is that the fir-"

"Oh me and Yama-chan? Of course I did, mask on and everything. He's _too_ irresistible, have you seen him? We don't even normally do it three times in a week, that was unusually spontaneous. I don't know whether it had to do with the illness or the fact the balcony door was open on one of the busiest days for visitors."

"When was this?"

"Before us two started talking. See what I mean? I could barely get him to admit to being ill and if his mum didn't spoil it, I'm sure he'd have let me go home not knowing it was his birthday, that very day! I only found out earlier _this_ year."

"Didn't he say you'd never asked?"

"That's beside the point, normally you'd tell the love of your life your birthday!"

"Who said you were the love of his life?"

"I am! I'll make him admit it, you can't expect him to be open with this sort of thing, or as I've made, quite clear, anything, for that matter. Catch you later."

"Have a nice weekend."

"I will, and you too. Bye."

"Bye." They go to their lessons.

Nippori leaves Mizusawa and meets back up with Wataru at lunch.

"It's twelve o'clock now so we have time to go home and get changed.

"Ok, we'll go to mine then yours, you're closer to the beach." They exit the school together and walk to Wataru's house.

"So, this is the way you walk to get home?"

"Yeah, have we never walked home together before?"

"I don't think so, not from school at least."

"You don't normally go home alone do you?"

"No, I've actually walked to and from with Mizusawa for the past few months, he's quite a character."

"Trust me I know, he's something else, completely fearless and he has such a punchable face,"

"You still don't like him, do you?"

"He's my friend and everything, but he gets on my nerves."

"Why?"

"He's so arrogant."

"He can be a bit rude sometimes, can't he?"

"It's like he lives to drive people up the wall."

"I think he would benefit from being a little bit more considerate of other people's feelings."

"You really think the world of him don't you?"

"It's more that, I'm glad I had that difficult conversation with him."

"Which one?"

"The one where I told him I wanted to confess to you."

"How did it go?"

"How do you think it went?"

"Ok?"

"It was better than ok, Mizusawa's acted like a catalyst for this relationship."

"Has he?"

"How?"

"He taught me what the meaning of the word gay was."

"So? You prefer the company of another man, isn't that something you've always known?"

"Have you?"

"I didn't know what was going on, but I had an idea."

"Oh, I didn't have any of those feelings towards anyone, male or female, before I met you, I suppose for me it's just the person..."

"I've never felt like this about anyone and I never will about anyone else you are the only one."

"Thank goodness, not just _any_ boy will do."

"Are you having a laugh? He has to be the best, kinder than any other, smart enough to understand things, but not look down on me, individual enough to never bore me…."

"Whoa whoa whoa! That sounds like a hard criteria to fulfil."

"It wasn't hard at all." He remarks, to the confused Nippori, before skipping away, merrily down the deserted backstreet. He laughs to himself, "I found _you_ and I wasn't even looking, you make my life complete… Nippori!" He looks around, they are alone. "Erm, Keiji-kun! Keiji-kun!? Ah! There you are! What's the matter?"

"You're so thoughtful," He sobs. "You're my favourite person on the planet, I don't see how I deserve you."

"Don't chat wet! _I_ don't deserve you, I'm not very bright, I'm irritable, I don't know how to take care of you properly." He bends down and tilts up Nippori's head and plants a chaste kiss on his quivering lips, before taking the bundle of out of control emotions, that is Nippori into his arms. He effortlessly envelops the whole of his tiny form, giving Nippori, security and warmth.

"We take care of each other, that's how it works if I'm stuck, you help me, if you're stuck I'll help you. You complete me too. In general, I'm so much weaker without you."

"Don't forget that together we're strong." He helps Nippori to his feet.

"That's what I would have said." They laugh it off as they continue down the back street, holding hands, safe in the knowledge that they are fully alone together. "You are right about us helping each other, "

"I think I've become less angry, I definitely break less stuff."

"Do you remember throwing that bike into the sea?"

"I was awful, and I used to smoke! My poor mum... People looking from the outside in will probably say tumbling has changed me, but really you did. I'm surprised you even fell in love with me, what do I have to offer?"

"You're you! I've never felt this way about anyone else and I've never will 'cos we'll never be apart! I wouldn't have started this relationship if I could have imagined myself without you. I need you. I know it's selfish but..."

 _When we grow old together I'd rather die first, because I know I couldn't cope for a day without you..._

"It's not selfish, there are just some things in life we don't share."

"My life begins and ends with you, you're a part of me."


	109. Chapter 109

They get back to the restaurant. "Oh, my mum's not here."

"It's half twelve, she must be on her break."

"I think you're right, see there you go again with all that smartness I don't have."

"That's just common sense you're intelligent in your own way." He pats Wataru on his shoulder affectionately and gives his hand a reassuring squeeze. "Let's go up and see her!" They climb to the top of the stairs.

"Tadaima!*"

"It's a bit early for you to be home, you didn't nick off, did you?"

"No, it's a half day." They walk into the kitchen.

"Ah! Nippori-chan! I didn't know you were coming today."

"Hi Okaasan," They hug in greeting, "This just a whistle stop, I have to be home today it's my sister's birthday. Us two are going out for a bit, though, he's just getting changed."

"Ok, that sounds nice."

"It will be, we don't actually have any plans, but he starts his job today."

"A job!? Great now you won't be needing any pocket money, lunch money, bus fare... What else do you use in a week?"

"Eh?"

"That's what my parents did, I got a Friday evening job at a Chinese takeaway, that my friend's parents owned, they never gave me any money after that date, I just had to learn to budget."

"That sounds like a nightmare, anyway I'm saving this money so I can't spend it on all that stuff."

"First a job, now you're saving!?"

"Why are you looking out the window?"

"I was just checking to see if pigs were flying."

"Eh?"

"It's an idiom." Wataru informs him

"Wow! all this exposure to a good child, like Nippori-chan has really worked wonders for you."

"You're right, he has been a great influence on my life."

"Oh look, you're making him blush!" She squeezes his cheeks.

"Okaasan, older people in my family are always doing that to me..."

 _Though you are already family to me..._

"That's because your cheeks are so irresistible."

"Stop babying him, mum."

"Why? Are you jealous?"

" _Me_? Jealous? Of him?"

"Are you?"

"No, I'm jealous of you, let me have a feel."

"Don't _you_ jump on the bandwagon now..."

"Just a quick go,"

"Fine."

"They're soft aren't they mum?"

"Wait one second. let me have a go on yours… Shame, your face is a lot more well defined, it's a bit boney."

"Ok, I think that's enough communal face touching for one day."

"I agree." They go into the bedroom, Nippori is the one to shut the door behind them. when he turns around Wataru's luscious pink lips are on him.

"Nii-chan~ What are you doing?"

"I just wanted a taste of what I felt." He playfully nibbles.

"We don't have time for Etchi, you don't want to be late for your first day of work, it gives a bad impression."

"It's only quarter to one work don't start till three." He moves down to his neck.

"Ah~ Niichan~ don't go there." Wataru kisses him, deeply. Nippori pushes him away, slightly out of breath. "Get your kit off."

"I was waiting to hear you say the word." Wataru raises his shirt, exposing the manly hard edges that Nippori just doesn't have. He takes his index and middle finger and makes circles around his nipple, while staring into Nippori's eyes seductively. He turns and faces the door to evade the alluring looks he probably wouldn't be able to resist much longer. Wataru walks up to him and firmly squeezes his enticingly round bum cheeks.

"Look at me." He breathes into his ear.

"I can't, just get on with it."

"What's wrong?"

"Right now I'm focused on being on time, but if I get distracted by you and your body I might get a Bokki, then we could be here all day."

"Go on, do it..." He gropes him through his trousers and tries to tempt him.

"I think I'll just go sit in the living room and look at the clock,"

"Alright, I'll behave,"

"Good but I'm still not looking just in case."

"Why do you always have to be so sensible?"

"You should try it at some point, you'd get more work done," Wataru quickly gets dressed and surprises Nippori with a spontaneous hug from behind.

"Sorted?"

"Sorted." Nippori opens the door.

"Oh, look my mum made us some lunch."

"She's so thoughtful."

"Thanks Nippori, it was nothing really."

I must have been so focused on being on time that I forgot to have lunch... I am quite peckish... They sit down.

"Itadakimasu**!"

Author's note

*Tadaima→ I'm home.

**Itadakimasu→I humbly receive this meal/ Let's eat!/ Grace.


	110. Chapter 110

**It** **maybe** **just a** **Wednesday** **but,** **today** **is the** **anniversary** **of the day I started writing this story so there is a ten chapter** **bonus** **.**

"You seem hungry."

"I am, I usually bring my own food, but since it was a half day I planned to to go home before lunchtime."

"Have you ever gone hungry?"

"Yeah, when my mum first died, I used to be hungry all the time."

"That's terrible and all this was when you were ten?"

 _No wonder his growth was stunted, all he ever gained was height… which I suppose would give the best survival advantage… I hope he hasn't missed his window to catch up…_

"Yeah, but what you're forgetting is that an eight year old, a six year old, three year old and a newborn baby all went through the same thing."

"What about your dad?"

"I think he was the most affected, he was a shell of a man... I don't think I've seen him smile since."

"So, you all starved?"

"No, that was when my dad's mum came to help and she taught me how to cook."

"Oh, so you were fine after that?"

"Well, she was only there for the first three months, she had a trip planned to her house in Italy."

"Did she come back?"

"No."

 _So she's rich but they're still poor? She never approved of Nippori's mother, now that I think of it, her snobbery and rejection are part of the reason I first disliked his father… She definitely babied him too much... That's why he's completely useless without his wife._

"What happened after that?"

"I wasn't old enough to get a job. So sometimes there wasn't enough money. My sister was only eight, so I shopped."

"And your dad was with the kids?"

"I think the shock made him ill, since he was always thirsty. He said the ' big people's' drink made him feel better. His face went red after he drank it and when he woke up he had a headache, so it must not've worked very well. I think he was a bit too overwhelmed when his mum left. After his paternity leave finished he had to go back to work, but it wasn't a big deal because I was eleven then and it was the start of the six week holidays."

"Your dad's very lucky to have a supportive son, like you."

"I couldn't have done it without my sister, we work together to take care of our siblings. I'm lucky she was there, she did the hard part and took care of the baby while I kept an eye on the other two."

"Plus you cooked and cleaned."

"Yeah, who else would?"

"Did you say there wasn't enough food?"

"Yeah but, I was only hungry until it stopped bothering me."

"What do you mean? Your stomach stopped rumbling?"

"I mainly thought about what would happen if my siblings didn't get their fair share… I was older, I could take it. If my younger sister was hungry she wouldn't understand and that made me feel worse than my stomach did. She shouldn't have to go through it. She was a three year old, that lost her mum and didn't know why." A single tear eeks out and streams down his cheek.

"You lost your mum."

"But I was older. I got to enjoy having her there more... I was never hungry at _their_ age."

"What happened when you went back to school?"

"I missed so many days, they threatened to expel me, I was gonna let 'em, but my dad wouldn't sign for it. So, my four year old sister and one year old brother had to be put in nursery, which is what started the debt. I miss odd days, here and there whether one of the kids is ill or I'm helping my dad with his business, but I'm lucky to have had an education."

"Now I understand where your ambition comes from, thank you for putting so much time and effort into helping me even though I'm a hopeless case." Nippori walks around to hug him.

"Don't say that nii-chan!" He whispers as Natsuko joins.

 _What an affectionate young man!~ I wonder if this has anything to do with how he was raised… Since middle school, I've only ever been able to hug Wataru either against his will or thanks to Nippori's presence..._

"You're welcome... Thank you, for not getting annoyed when I'm upset."

 _I found it hard enough to cope with him when he thought I was leaving him… Especially the way it made me feel to see him hurt… I felt so guilty, I just wanted to take his place more than anything so he couldn't feel the pain… It's so much harder being on the outside looking in when you feel like there's nothing you can do to help... Now I realise how much I need him to just be there, to be strong for me, to comfort me... To think he still doesn't realise how much he's done for me..._

"That's nothing."

"But I've put you through so much like when..." Wataru stops his lips with a finger.

"Oh Keiji-kun, the only thing you do that annoys me is when you don't think of anything apart from others." He kisses his forehead.

"Nii-chan, stop it!" He resists, unconvincingly.

 _...I think I've done alright, as a parent... Although, Nippori has definitely brought out the best in Wataru… Not even including the fact that he's not coming home from injured after mindless fights or that he's getting on with school work, his nature has changed for the better!… They're so much closer than my older sister and I... Maybe this has something to do with the fact that they're not under the same roof, twenty-four/seven?… Even now I'm looking back on our times together in a more positive light, maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder..._

"Ah, my heart's melting! I didn't know you could be so sweet Wataru." She pats him on the back. " Look at him! He's so embarrassed!" They all share in another group hug.

"Mum stop crying! You'll make..."

"It's too late nii-chan..." Wataru uses his thumb to dry Nippori's tears, ever so gently.

 _I suppose all these changes have caused Wataru to mature... Before Nippori came I was just worried about him not needing me, but now I can see he's managed to become so caring he can take over from me... Isn't that the goal? Your kids no longer need you... They can not only take care of themselves, but take care of others and in the end. will be there to support you, like you supported them… Because from the beginning it's all about building the foundations to make them a worthwhile person... I've never been so sure of the decisions I made in the past in my life... He may not be perfect but no one is I couldn't have expected more from my son... I'm proud, I know a lot of others would seek academic strengths and be unsatisfied with his rough edges but he's mine and I wouldn't change him for the world... Even if he is growing up, whether he does worse than me or better than me he's still my baby…_

"I love you, Wataru!" She, sobs.

"Aw, now you've set me off... I love you too Mum!"

"And I love you both!" Nippori adds.

"We love you too." They both say, in unison. They all laugh.

 _If only I could just stop time now... I want to savour the moment just a little bit longer..._ She squeezes tighter.

"It would be nice if we could hug like this all day, but it's going for ten past one and I'm already late back."

"Ok Okaasan, we can just do it again, another time!"

"I'd like that, in case I don't see you again have a nice trip out, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

"Bye, mum."

"Bye, Okaasan." She leaves.

 _Now, more than ever spending time with my boys is becoming more and more rewarding... Actually our boys..._ She looks up, taking a moment to remember her late friend.

"Woah! Nii-chan, I was so hungry, then emotional I completely forgot the time, we've got to make a move."

"Ok, let's go."

"Not before I've done the dishes."

"Let me help you,"

"That would be nice, I can't deal with any more distractions today,"

"I think might be a little bit distracted, right now." He pauses and raises eyebrows for emphasis.

"What, by?"

"This..."

"Oi, nii-chan hands off, you're not becoming a hentai are you?"

"You need to relax, we've got nearly two hours."

"I thought you were helping me."

"Oh yeah! I forgot, sorry." Nippori, hands a dish to Wataru for him to dry and put it away.

"Wait, erm do you know where this goes?"

"How could you not know your way around your own kitchen?" They both laugh as Nippori points to the correct cupboard. "Do you wanna know something else funny I've noticed?"

"Go on?"

"There's a pattern, whenever you ask to do something Etchi I always say I'd rather not, but if I ask you always say it's alright."

"It's weird, but it doesn't bother me."

"So you don't mind me being in control all the time?"

"Not in the slightest." Nippori gives him a peck on the lips.

 _Mizusawa can stick that in his pipe and smoke it…_

"That's it for the dishes, let's head out."


	111. Chapter 111

They finally make it onto the street, on the main road they walk past a shop with soap modelled into the shape of various cakes. Nippori is intrigued. "Woah! That thing's so amazing!" He stares at the display through the shop window, before walking away.

"Aren't you gonna buy it?"

"Nope,"

"Eh? Don't you want it?"

"I don't need it."

"It's only five hundred yen."

"I don't have to buy everything I see... I actually can't, my sister's in charge of the money and what she says, goes."

"Oh, let me buy it." Nippori looks pensive, he inflates his cheeks and furrows his brow. "You don't have to pay me back."

"I can't accept that." Wataru pushes him into the sweet smelling shop. They are welcomed by a very kind and charming member of staff.

"How can I help you?"

"I'm fine thanks, I shouldn't be in here. I've got sensitive skin this stuff's no good for me. Sorry to waste your time." He turns to Wataru. "Nii-chan, let's go we don't have all day, I still need to go home and get changed out of my uniform."

"Is he your little brother?"

"He's my otouto-bun,"

"I'm going to wait outside."

"It's a bit chilly outside!"

"Don't be rude, Keiji-kun." Wataru catches him before he goes.

"What can I do for you?" She addresses Wataru, while handing Nippori a slice of mock-cake. "Why don't you try smelling this?"

"Oh, that's terrific!" He darts out his tongue, the member of staff quickly removes the soap.

"It's not for eating." Nippori frowns.

"Sorry, I can't resist sweets! It just looks too good to be true! Did you make it?"

"Why don't I show you some of the goings on in our soap-kitchen, behind the scenes?"

"I'd love that!"

"Can I take him?"

"Please do." She leads him off, behind the 'staff only' door. Wataru does some further investigation of the range of designs and flavours available. By the time he settled on flavour Nippori re-emerges, with a grin on his face.

"How was it?"

"It smelt really nice!"

"I bet it did, thanks for taking him."

"It was my pleasure,"

"Oh!? You guys have balloons!? What a pretty colour!"

"Would you like one?"

"I'd love one,"

"Are you sure you need one?"

"I'll never be too old for a balloon."

"Go on, that's what they're there for." He takes a pink balloon with the shop's logo on it from the stand.

"Thank you, I'll take good care of it."

"We'll see about that." The staff member laughs at their interaction. "Smell this." He does. "What do you think?" The staff member eavesdrops, curious to see if her charm had worked.

"I've decided, I'm not buying anything from here, it's not as if I can afford to." The salesperson is heartbroken. "Buy it, not for me to give but as a gift from you to her."

"Who?"

"It's my sister's birthday remember."

"Oh yeah, you mentioned it twice, earlier. I think we're going to take this one thanks." They walk towards the till.

"I can tell, you've got the nose for good scents. That's our best seller, if you're ever looking for a job you know where to come."

"Really? That'd be amazing the more work I can get the better. Can I leave my details with you?"

"Absolutely, that'd be great. I look forward to working with you. Even bring your cute little otouto-bun, he could be a model."

"Sorry, I'm not cute."

"Forgive me, I meant handsome!"

"You're just saying that."

"No really, we'd love for you to…" She lifts up his shirt, brazen-faced.. "...Pose in a soapy bubble bath."

"I don't know..."

"It pays really well."

"I don't have to be naked do I?"

"Of course not, the photo is only of above the water, plus there'll be plenty of bubbles."

"Errm..."

"Ten thousand* yen~"

 _If I can convince an amateur to do it I won't have to spend an arm and a leg to do casting through agencies!_

"Do I have to wear make up?" He looks to Wataru for advice,

"Yes, you get to to wear make up?"

"Thanks, but no thanks, I've already got enough jobs."

 _And there was thinking I've had a breakthrough... I can't give up yet._

"That's too bad, imagine all the sweets you could buy with all that money."

"I never buy sweets. They're just a treat if I get any... Plus I think your products would irritate my skin."

"I don't think he's interested."

"That's a shame."

"I'll do it! I really need the money." She frames his face between her fingers, to give the impression she knows what she's doing. She stands back and closes one eye as if it takes much effort to decide if he is worthy. Wataru gets impatient and lifts up his own T-shirt. She chokes and then clears her throat before saying.

"You're hired!"

"Thank you, so so much."

"What do you need the money for anyway?"

"I'm getting married."

"Of course you are, all the good ones are either in love or gay."

"I'm both." They laugh and she thanks them for their custom.

Author's note

*About one hundred dollars. Yen is not decimalised so you can consider each yen as a penny so one hundred is like one dollar.


	112. Chapter 112

They start to walk to Nippori's house."Why didn't you just buy the soap, it's cheap _and_ girly."

"Is that how you shop for people?"

"I don't really know her, do I?"

"I've been saving all my money since Christmas for her."

"Really? That must have been hard!"

"Nah, it's only been about three months."

"What are you getting her?"

"The shop's actually on my way home. I want to get her the expensive acrylic paints she's had her eye on. I can't let her go on with the rubbish from the cheap shop she's been using. She's actually quite talented. The others are much easier to shop for, just get my dad any old aftershave he's happy, 'cos I thought of him. The boys like toys and the basics, while my littlest sister..."

"What does she like? Dolls and that?"

"She only likes collectors dolls, that you can't play with. I'm actually quite proud of her, since she saved up six thousand, four hundred Yen for a reborn. She loves food and stationary, you can't go wrong with that…" He thinks for a second. "Generally she's quite happy with any character plush, figure, stickers

"Characters like Monkey. ? Natsu Dragneel? Kurosaki Ichigo?..."

"No, like Hello Kitty, Cinnamoroll, Sentimental Circus, Rilakkuma, Doraemon, Anpanman and Gudetama. Gudetama is her favourite… Oh! And she really likes Disney, you know, like Donald Duck, Minnie Mouse, Stitch, Scrump, Oswald..." By this point, Wataru is close to falling asleep.

"I get you."

"Besides plushes she likes, squishies, bag straps and you name it. She actually hugged me when I looked online for something more creative and I found her some unique handmade charms on Etsy."

"You sound like a really good brother!" He thinks to himself. "What's Etsy? It sounds like Etchi."

"It's nothing like that. It's an online shop, her present was imported from this polymer clay artist in England and it costed an absolute fortune."

"So, she likes expensive things?"

"I don't know, it was really a sentimental thing... We watched every Studio Ghibli film together when mum died, since I was put in charge of the middle two… We played outside most of the time, but I had six weeks and no money so we had to find other things to do…"

"At least she was grateful."

"If I didn't put so much thought into it, she never would have hugged me. So, I always try to top that gift." They finally arrive at the arts and crafts shop. Nippori knows what he wants and walk with purpose. They're in and out in just under two minutes.

"Woah! You're a machine! How do you shop so fast?"

"I knew what I wanted, I gave correct change and left."

"Impressive."

"Come on we've only got an hour left, my house is just around the corner."

"It's ok I remember where you live." Nippori touches a bench that seems to have been recently painted in pastel colours. "The sign says 'do not touch wet paint'."

"I know, that just makes me wanna touch it more."

"Why?"

"I just need to know if it's wet or not. I'm really curious, you see." They make it to the house and Nippori unlocks the door.

"Shhh! I want to hide her gift. It's not wrapped yet, she can't see it." They stealthily tiptoe in.

"Can I wrap mine here too?"

"Shh!" He gives a thumbs up, before surveying the perimeter. "The coast is clear."

"This isn't a film Keiji-kun. What does that even mean?"

"It means there's no one around and you're lucky because you don't know how to say quiet. that must mean she used her time off to gallivant rather than stay home."

"That's what I used to do when I skived in middle school."

"You ended up in the wrong crowd, I don't need to worry about her, she's special, like I said before, plus I've met all her friends."

"Should we wrap her presents or should I unwrap you?"

"I can undress myself, thank you very much."

"I know you can I just want to see if I can help." Nippori is completely unaware of the signals he's putting across.

"I know how you can help, I'll be in my room changing my clothes, here you go tape, scissors and wrapping paper. Can you write a nice note on yours please?"

"Ok!... Is there _anything_ else I can do for you?"

"Yeah, just don't make a mess."

"Will do."

"Thanks, that's nice of you."

A few minutes later Nippori comes out of his room fully dressed in casual clothes.

"You're not finished yet?"

"Sorry, I'm not very well coordinated with this kind of thing."

"I'll take over, you were doing it all wrong anyway."

"I'm a bit useless aren't I ?"

"There are things you are good at and that's all that matters! You'll never be 've got no idea how much you help me, even how much you've helped me since I've known you. We have different strengths and that's why we're better off together." Wataru kisses him.

"I like your shorts."

"'They're comfy and easy to wear'."

"I knew you were gonna say that!"

"We're so in sync!" Nippori hugs Wataru,

"Oh, look you've finished!"

"Yep and we're gonna have to hide these 'cos if she finds them she'll definitely open them and I wanna see the look on her face."

"I bet you do, you've gotta get _something_ out of spending that much money on a box of paints."

"It's not about how I feel, it's about her showing me I've done the right thing. I'd do anything to see her smile."

"And I'd do the same for you." Nippori reciprocates the kiss from earlier, they hug, before hiding the gifts and leaving.


	113. Chapter 113

The ice cream shop owner warmly greets Wataru. "You're early! That's a brilliant effort! Good to see, I see you brought your friend. Nice to meet you, My name is Massaru. I'm just going to give your friend a long boring induction to the shop so, please take a seat at the back, try not to disturb the customers." Nippori glances around the uninhabited shop, He does as he's told and starts walking past the empty chairs that are yet to be sat in and up a few steps to the alcove at the back, the shop seems to be 'T' shaped. He takes a seat in the corner with every intention of not disturbing the customers. While making himself comfortable he spots a girl across the room, looking back at him they make eye contact and she stands up. He looks away and stays as still as possible, as if that will make him invisible.

"You're so cute~!"

"Me!? Cute? Don't make me laugh."

"And you're humble too! That's sweet!"

"I'm not sweet."

"Aww~You're so shy!" She squeezes his face.

"Can you get off, please?"

"Oh, your hair is so soft! I can't resist."

 _I knew girls could be terrible sometimes!… I can't get this one to leave me alone…_

"What conditioner do you use?"

"I don't know, whatever my sister uses."

"Is it expensive?"

"No. I'm poor. Can you get off my hair please?"

"Ah~ You're totally my type!" She plonks herself on his lap, audaciously.

 _His boss told me to sit at the back and not disturb the customers... I should have never looked at this girl… If he loses a job it's all my fault! If he can't afford to marry me_

 _that's all my fault too!_

"Don't sit on me."

 _I can't cause a scene and getting into trouble..._

"Why not? Are you waiting for a girl?"

"No… I think you should wear longer skirts... I just saw your underwear." He admits.

"Good."

"No, I think you're giving off the wrong impression."

"Am I?"

 _Younger boys are the best, so naive…_

 _Where's Wataru I need him…_ She caresses his thigh and inches her hand up to his groin.

 _Is there is anything there?_

"What're you doing?"

"Wait and see."

"No, get off me."

"Have you ever been with a woman before?"

"In what way?"

"Like this." She molests him.

 _Am I losing my touch? I've just been stood up and now this boy won't even look at me! I'm pretty aren't I? He has to like me, they all do! He should feel privileged to get attention from me! ?_

 _Girls are awful... Why won't she leave me alone? I'm gonna get him in trouble for sure… I've got to put an end to it… I'll be the reason we can't get married and live together!_

"Don't touch me." He bursts out crying.

 _Why can't I do anything by myself? I'm so weak... No wonder my sister always feel like she has to take care of me… She's got enough to worry about without looking out for me..._

"Oh my gosh! Are you crying? I am so so so so so sorry!" She gets off and sits on the chair opposite. "Are you alright?" She hands him a tissue.

"Sorry, I shouldn't cry, I told myself I wouldn't."

"What are you apologising for? I'm the one who should be sorry. It was so thoughtless of me, the thought that you didn't want me on your knee never occurred to me. Thank you for being so understanding, even though I don't deserve it. I know I definitely wouldn't have forgiven you if you jumped on me, I'd have had you locked up… It was so wrong of me to assume I could treat you like that."

"Why did you do that?"

"Because I'm lonely..."

"I'm sure you have friends."

"Yeah, that's not the same."

"What do you want?"

"I want to be loved."

"How do you think people see you when they look at you?"

"I'm pretty, I dress nicely."

"Is that all you have to offer?"

"Don't you think I'm pretty enough?"

"I don't care about looks. What's on the inside?"  
"I'm nothing special."

"Don't say that, if you don't have self-respect, who's gonna respect you?"

"You're right."

"Why do you wear clothes like that?"

"Because it gets me attention."

"What kind of attention?"

"Male attention."

"Is that what you want?"

"Yeah, I want someone to be attracted to me, then I can make them fall in love with me."

 _She wants a complete stranger to judge her based on her looks and then fall in love with her?_

"What do you think goes through their head when they look at you?" Nippori had often pondered the reasoning behind the actions of certain men, now was his chance to find out.

"They probably wanna do me, which is good because that's where I hook 'em."

"Has that ever worked?"

"No, but one day it's gonna, you seem nice!"

"Firstly, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is a definition of insanity and secondly do you even know my name?"

"No, but I'll eventually find out."

"So, you do that with just any guy?"

"No way, he has to look good."

"Why does that matter?"

"I can't be seen with just _anyone_."

"Why do you care what other people think? Shouldn't it be your decision who you fall in love with?"

"Stop being so logical, you're making me feel dumb."

"You're not dumb, you just don't know better."

"Really, I do but what other choice do I have?"

"Do you really think you can make someone love you? Like that? Why didn't you just talk to me? I would've listened."

"I know that now, but I don't have anything worth saying, you'd get bored of me."

"I'm not bored of you, you're nice."

"You're just saying that."

"No, I really mean it."

"I think I've just had bad taste up until now. You're great!… But you're not interested..."

"Don't start crying, then _I'll_ start crying, why can't you just be a friend?"

"I'd like that, then you can give me tips or how to find a decent husband."

"How old are you?"

"Old enough."

"Now that we're friends, I can really be frank with you. Do you think that a man would look at you and see a wife?"

"Erm… Maybe…"

"Yes or no?"

"You can be really harsh, you know?"

"If you had an answer you were proud of, you'd have given it to me by now."

"No."

"Ok, why do you dressed like that?"

"Remember my hook?"

"The right man should be able to see deeper than that."

"Like you?"

"No, not like me, I'm telling you to present yourself in a way that doesn't give off the wrong impression."

"Who do you think you're talking to?"

"I'd say the same thing to my sister, but she's special."

"Fine, I get where you're coming from."

"My next question is why do you wear so much makeup?"

 _I don't think she needs it…_

"It makes me look good."

"Who for?"

"Myself."

"Why?"

"I can't leave the house without it."

"Why?"

"You're getting too deep now."

"Oh, is it personal?"

"No, it just gives me confidence."

"Does your mum wear makeup?"

"Of course not, she doesn't have to try anymore."

"Try for what?"

"To make someone fall in love with her."

"Why should you have to try? The right guy can see through all that superficial nonsense. Why would you want to attract the type that can't?"

"I've got standards, you know? I'm nothing without my looks."

"Stop putting yourself down, you're amazing and you deserve better. Make _them_ work for _you_."

"I might be shallow but that's because there's nothing underneath. I really am nothing without my 'll never understand, you're naturally gorgeous."

"So are you, you need to stop comparing yourself to others."

"I can't, I've done it my whole life."

 _If I were in debating society what would I say? I can't be too harsh because she's my friend._

"There's something _else_ about me that I haven't told you about, but I think it really pushed me to the point where I thought 'I'm a girl who's just not good enough'. So, I didn't blame them for incorrectly judging me not that I'm not guilty of it myself."

"You need to march in that toilet and wipe that muck off your face." He instructs.

"I can't!"

"Yes you can, look at me, yes you can!"

"I'm not happy with my face as it is,"

"Understand this, the way you look if not your fault and if a person can't get over a minor cosmetic flaw, they don't deserve _you_."

"But..."

"Not if they value _you_ as a person, based on your appearance. If someone is easy on the eyes, but really cruel, critical and bitter, eventually they'll expose their true nature and the shallow qualities won't be enough to make it last."

"So, you're saying, if you're a crap person, no amount of slap will change that... So, only look for a person that is attracted to your personality and knows the real you, because it's impossible to maintain the deception?"

"Something like that. I imagine it's quite miserable, pretending. Like when Cinderella pretended she was rich to the prince the truth had to come out eventually?"

"Are the only stories you're aware of children's stories?"

"No, I like I anime and things like that. Anyway, I think Fairy tales have good morals and this one applies right now you should be honest to people. Most importantly you should be honest to yourself."

 _I thought that was what I was doing… Becoming Kyoko isn't enough, I have to be Kyoko, on the inside as well as the outside… I need to stop thinking about how I can be perfect, there's no such thing and that's not me… What's the point in living someone else's life? Creating a character, 'pretending' I'm someone I'm not… Why do I act like this? I'm not ditsy, I like intelligent conversations!..._

"So, there _was_ a moral to _that_ musical?... Looks like I was doing 'a Fiyero'!"

"A what?"

"It's a musical thing, you won't get it, but basically he nearly married a girl based on how popular and good looking she was but realised he was making a mistake… Ok, I'll trust you." She leaves him.


	114. Chapter 114

"How do you feel?"

"I feel empowered."

"Great, at least now you know any guy that looks at you is looking at the real you."

"You're right, now I'm narrowing it down from the guys that like the effectiveness of whatever products I bought, to the ones that like the real me!" They hug. "You know how I said I wanted a really handsome guy?"

"Yeah."

"I still do, but I realised I was doing the same to them that I was doing to myself… They're not worthless if they're not 'perfect'. I was _so_ wrong, I feel so silly!"

"Now we've got that serious stuff out the way, I've got another question."

"Go on."

"If I didn't start crying, what'd you have done?"

"Oh, don't remind me about that, I feel awful! Let me make it up to you."

"Don't worry, I'm fine. I'm just glad to have made a difference in your life."

"Stop being so perfect, before I kidnap you and take you home!" Nippori looks petrified. "I'm kidding! I just want you to admit I was wrong."

"People don't normally ask for that, but if it makes you happy, yeah you made a mistake."

"Good, now pick anything you like off this menu and I'll buy you it."

"No way!?" He looks at the menu and his eyes widen."Is there a price limit?"

"No, it's fine, really." She nods.

"Can I just have one scoop of vanilla please?"

"What? Be a bit more adventurous!"

"I've only ever tried vanilla."

"Really?"

"Yeah, this is enough of a treat, I usually end up sharing, even though ice cream is my favourite food."

"It's not a real food."

"It's still my favourite."

"Good, let me get you something expensive, what really catches your eye?"

"The pistachio sundae."

"Then I'll get you that!" She goes and comes back with the sundae.

"Wow! It's bigger than I expected. Do you wanna share?"

"No, it's all yours."

"I can't, I never tried this much before."

"Come on, it's my treat!"

"I don't know..."

"Look who's got the negative attitude now."

"Ok, I'll go slowly, but I'll properly enjoy it, thanks so much!"

"You're not even a little bit interested in me are you?"

"I am, as a friend."

"Good, because I'm over trying to get you. That guy behind the counter..."

"Who? I can't see from here."

"Well, let me tell you, he was hubba hubba ding ding! It looked like it was his first day, he had no clue what he was doing!" They both laugh. "He gave me extra whipped cream and a flake, so it looks like my flirting worked, even without makeup!"

"Good for you, but what's flirting?"

"It's something you do when you want to attract someone."

"Show me please." She dips her fingers into the whipped cream and sucks it off erotically.

"Sometimes, words and tone of voice help too!"

 _So that's what he was doing before I got ready to come here?_

"Oh, did he fall for it?"

"I hope so, he was _well_ fit!"

"Describe him to me."

"Chiselled abs you could take off a bottle top with… Well, that's what I imagine I only saw the outline through his shi-"

"What're abs?"

"Lift up your shirt… Oh, you don't have them… Well, they're here, normally something like this." She traces the outline of abs over his abdomen.

"Oi, that tickles! I know what you mean now, I just didn't know the word."

"I can't take my mind off him, now that I've said it out loud. He smiled at me, I can't even get it into my head that this is _without_ the makeup!"

"You're not worthless without it, you know?"

"I should have known that, you're right… It does seem like more of a compliment coming from a person that can see me for what I am! I thought the good looking ones wouldn't be interested, but who knows maybe I'll get his number and we'll _actually_ talk!"

"I'm so proud of you!"

"Yeah, I'm proud of myself too. I mean he was drop dead, pale skin, his whole body, toned and..."

"Don't you think you're objectifying him a little bit?"

"Yeah, but if the inside doesn't match, I'll not like him... I think he was outgoing and courageous."

"How do you know that?"

"It's just a feeling… Or maybe part of it was his bright red hair."

"Red hair?"

"Oh yeah, it's quite daring, isn't it? I think I'm gonna go give him my number now!"

"Hands off, he's mine love!" He stops her in her tracks.

"Eeeeeehhhhhh? You're gay?"

"I suppose you could say that… Not that I like labels..."

"Oh that's so sweet, it makes you even cuter!"

"How? I don't get it."

"Me neither, but now I'm just happy to hear that. You don't _not_ like me, you can't like me!"

"You need to stop having your emotions so easily influenced by others."

 _Or so I've been told…_

"Whether or not I like you shouldn't affect how much you like yourself."

"I was so worried when you didn't get a boner, I thought there was something wrong with me! You're right, it's silly… I've always wanted a gay friend."

"Well now you've got one, it's your lucky day."

"You do not disappoint. Now so much makes sense, that's why you were sitting alone here."

"Yeah, I think it might have been a genuine accident when you got those extra toppings. He's only just being trained."


	115. Chapter 115

"Ah, now that's cleared up I feel so embarrassed, how could I be so pushy?"

"Come on, let's change the subject, you've made it up to me already, this ice cream is yummy. Come to think of it, if I knew he was at the till I could probably have made him give you a discount."

"That can't be helped, now didn't you say you had a question before I left?"

"Oh yeah, if I was 'straight' and I actually enjoyed what you were doing what'd you have done?"

"I'd probably have put my hands down your pants."

"Out here?"

"I'm ashamed, now that I think of it but like you said I should have known better."

"Do you feel like your emotional state had anything to do with those actions?"

"Yeah, I was just stood up. I probably would have slept with you too."

"What? Girls can do that with guys too?"

"Yeah, but you probably wouldn't want me to go into detail."

"Yeah, you're right. Isn't it way too early for that?"

"I've always known that, I just never cared, probably because, like you said I didn't have respect for myself."

"What if I did that and I didn't love you?"

"That happens all the time."

"How do you feel about that?"

"It might stem from my lack of respect for my parents… They wanted me to wait but I didn't and every time I do it I feel like I'm getting back at them."

"Do you think the type of guy that takes advantage of your emotional state is a worthwhile person?"

"No."

"... Or husband material?"

"Absolutely not! I'm an idiot you're so wise, you haven't even given me any new information you just ask questions that I knew the answers to."

"It's not like that!"

"Fine, but how did you know the truth?"

"What do you mean? I just wanted to understand you better."

 _And why men do the things they do…_ He shudders at the dark thought then shakes his head and smiles at Kyoko.

"So, you just asked questions you wanted the answers to?"

"Pretty much."

"So, I had the idea the whole time and you just help me to put them together in a logical way?"

"I wasn't trying to, but at least it worked out for the best! I kind of find in confusing how the person sitting in front of me is completely the opposite to how you were when we first met."

"That was a façade. I'm gonna stop doing that."

"Why do you act the way you act?"

"Isn't it obvious certain men are intimidated by women that are stronger than them because of their silly sense of pride. I fell for a guy like that and he cheated on me, then blamed me for making him feel inferior. I decided that ever after that I would act as if I was dependant on them and not the independent, elite career woman I'd spent so much effort to be in the process of becoming. I know the me before _that_ heartbreak would look at the person I'm presenting to everyone now with disgust. When I was younger, all I thought of was working towards getting my scholarship and leaving the island I grew up on where everyone knew me and all my personal business. I didn't really think about fashion or being attractive. I just wanted to find a place I could belong. I know it's wrong to deceive people and yes, it's sad that they can't see past their shortcomings. If they were a truly strong person they wouldn't be the least bit concerned with trivial things like pride. I'm having to struggle against _all_ the other women and then I sometimes get close to a guy after trying so hard to compete. Then something like me being taller, smarter or having the potential to earn more money, gets in the way of them and their feelings. There was one guy that got it into his head that no matter how much I earned it didn't matter as long as what _he_ had was enough to support both of us... Why he couldn't accept me for who I am, I don't know, but I'm trying _so_ hard... At this point, I just want to be 'normal', whether or not that makes me happy."

"You know that's not right."

"I know and I'm glad you came along to help me see it. I do think I'm getting a bit fed up of men and their selfishness... Their insecurities and having complexes about being shorter than me or whatever nonsense."

"I like having someone take care of me, it's comforting. I don't care that he's bigger than me."

"That's not how straight guys think, they think it's their job to be stronger, 'smarter', I say on like than because the way intelligence is judge is highly subjective and up until recently ridiculously androcentric." Nippori nods as if he knows what she's talking about. "They expect to be the one you have to depend on, they want to be needed by 're making me think about taking a break from trying to force relationships with people that I'm really not compatible with. I think I'd like to find someone that isn't my superior just so I don't have to worry about him getting uncomfortable, but instead someone that isn't ashamed to be reliant on me or not as highly qualified. So, I can be myself and not concerned with fitting into a conventional role that doesn't suit me. They _do_ have to accept me, for me, not some girl I'm pretending to be."

"That's the way to look at it."

"By that point, I decided to treat it as a bit of fun and not expose myself to heartbreak. I wasn't being myself so, it was more like they were rejecting someone else. I don't think I've _really_ been in love since that first guy. I need to stop searching for 'the one' and let them look for me. Once I find myself, I'll allow myself to be found by someone else that wants _me_. I am not going to rush into anything else insincere. I need to get comfortable with myself and to do that I need some me time. I need to forget about trying to please boys. Oh, look at me talking your ear off about my problems and we've only just met. I do this sometimes. I'm really opinionated as you can see. It actually felt really good to get that off my chest."

"I can imagine, being treated like _that_! It nearly moved me to tears. I've never been treated like that because I'm a basically your opposite, a really weak boy, but it seems so familiar."

"You think I'm a strong woman~!"

"Is there any other variety? You put up with so much it a daily basis without complaining. All those unrealistic expectations you can't meet? I'm amazed. When I have to put up with anything like what you've been going through I end up crying on someone's shoulder."

"You don't have to be emotionless to be strong. They're two completely separate things."

"Keiji-kun!" He spots the unfamiliar girl. "Erm, I mean… Nippori!"

"No, it's ok, she knows."

"Sorry, how long did I make you wait?"

"It's fine, I had company." He springs to his feet and bounds towards Wataru. "Oops, I forgot my bowl, cup? Whatever you call it." He runs back to the table, then races towards Wataru. "Oh no, I haven't introduced you two." He grabs Wataru's hand and pulls him towards the girl. "Nii-chan this is...Wait! What's your name?"

"Its Kyoko."

"Mine's Nippori Keiji and he's Azuma Wataru."

"How did you two meet?"

"We were friends first!"

 _Friends before they got romantic?_

"Sorry to interrupt, but what did you do to him? He's not usually this hyper."

"I just bought him a sundae."

"I can see the green smudges on his face now. Come here." He wipes the ice cream off his face with his thumb.

"You guys are too cute for words."

"Sorry, I forgot you were there."

"I've never been outshined by _anyone_ before in my life, but it's quite clear you've only got eyes for him. He is quite dazzling, isn't he? If you weren't gay, I'd have a chance at competing with him for cuteness."

"She's nice, I don't normally have sweet things… The last time I had ice cream was when we went on that date."

"Didn't my mum buy some when I was ill?"

"She did but you ate it all."

"That's because my throat hurt and it's my favourite food!"

"Aw, you two both have the same favourite food~"

"Tee hee, nii-chan's throat didn't hurt in the morning."

"Shut up," He clamps his hand down over his mouth and pulls him away. He calls out "It was nice speaking to you Kyoko-chan." Before disappearing down the stairs, past the empty tables that have yet to be used and past the till. He finally lets Nippori speak outside the shop.

"Aw~ Nii-chan's cheeks went red!"

"What's wrong with you? Didn't you say I gave you ice cream before?"

"You did, but I put it in the bin, when you upset me."

"Now, what?"

"Race you to the park!" He tries to run off, luckily, Wataru manages to catch his wrist. He stills him by placing both hands on his shoulders.

"Why're you _so_ giddy?"

"If I sit in one position for a really long time it starts to ache until I move. It's weird, I just feel like I have to put my energy somewhere or I'll burst. It just builds up and builds up until the tension is too much and it's the only thing I can think about. I have an uncontrollable urge to do something."

"How do you study?"

"I only do a little bit at a time, but it's because I committed that I always manage to come back and get it finished after doing a chore, or whatever. That's why I have to be really careful with managing my time. I start as early as possible to get it out of the way, because when it comes to deadlines I have to stay on top of it. I've never missed one, because I refuse to leave it to the last minute. Otherwise, I never finish anything and the stress and guilt'd really get to me. That's the reason why I have to carefully rotate my subjects and make a special schedule that I can stick to that gives me a break and stops me getting too distracted because if I just sit there and do one thing I'll end up doing nothing. The schedule gives me purpose and goals that I can easily meet, so I'm not doing too much at once. I can avoid procrastinating by taking regular short breaks and sticking to mini deadlines. I find that I have to be organised in order to achieve anything." Wataru nods as if he understands. "It's part of the reason why I never _tried_ when I was younger. It was just too much to handle. I must've been a bit of a handful for my mum, it all changed when she died, though, I had to be sensible. Maybe, that's why I'm so patient with you." He says all of this in practically one breath and Wataru can barely get a word in edgewise.

"Before I came along, you really had no life, did you?" He thinks out loud, thoughtlessly.

"Oi! That's really big-headed of you."

"Yeah, so what if it is?" He jokes. Nippori takes his chances and runs off.

"Catch me if you can!"

"I hope you weren't causing _this_ much trouble for poor Kyoko-chan… She's a stranger so you shouldn't get too carried away! In fact didn't anyone ever tell you not to talk to strangers!?"

 _Probably not…_ He finally starts after Nippori.

"No, I wasn't ready!"


	116. Chapter 116

They chase each other through the trees and finally manage to settle down on a park bench.

"Keiji-kun, you've got a nosebleed!"

He touches his face before looking down at his fingers. "So I do."

"I wonder if it's anything to do with how energetic you were being?"

"It might be because now that I've calmed down, I've got a bokki."

"Wait! Does that mean every time an anime character gets, a nosebleed they're horny?"

"I think so… Sanji likes ladies even more than I thought he did... Now I know he's trying to seduce them, that creeps me out."

"Seduce?"

"That's where you try to make someone sleep with you, like Kyoko did."

"She tried to sleep with you?"

"No, she planned to, but we discussed it and she's going to turn her life around… We made friends!"

"So now you've got a friend who's a girl?"

"Yeah, and she ended up telling me how gorgeous she thought you were when you served her at the till… But I had to tell her to keep her hands off you."

"She put her hands on you!?㈐2"

"For a bit, but she was so sorry and when she found out you were my Kareshii, then she was all like 'I've always wanted a gay friend' but I don't get it... I've never hoped to have a straight friend, how does who like effect my friend?"

"And judging from last weekend, it doesn't look like you have any, besides Kyoko."

"Ryosuke?"

"Weren't you listening in the changing room?"

"I don't think he's gay."

"He doesn't think that either..." His eyes are drawn to Nippori's upper lip. "That must be embarrassing."

"What?"

"If that happened in a lesson everyone would know."

"Know what?"

"You have a Bokki."

"Eh, I don't get it."

"It must have happened because the exercise sped up your blood."

"So?"

"So, you have higher blood pressure, which made it come out your nose."

"You learned something!"

"Don't hug me here."

"Why not?"

"Everyone can see."

"So, it's not Etchi, there's only one lady here... Walking seven dogs?... That must be her part time job, no one else is around it's a half day, remember? Everyone else is still busy."

"Yeah, but."

"Just a quick one. I'm proud of you, men hug all the time, it's a sign of respect."

"If you say so."

"I wanted to hug you anyway!"

"I don't think I deserve it."

"Eh?"

"I might have learnt stuff, but I couldn't remember it when the time came… Exams are the worst, especially when I know it, but I don't know how to say it or what the question's asking me."

"Umm hmm~..."

"Why are you still hugging me? I just told you, I failed after all the hard work you put into me,"

"Oh~ Nii-chan~!"

"I think the only reason that little bit came out just then is because I was worried about you."

"Hold me tighter!"

"I think you're enjoying this hug a bit more than you're supposed to."

"Ah~ Nii-chaannnn~!"

"Let's sit back down. Why're you sulking?"

"I was this close." He indicates with his fingers.

"Oh, I forgot about your problem! Then the hug made it worse?"

"It almost made it better."

"Wait, were you even listening to me?"

"No." Wataru looks hurt. "I mean yes… Erm, I'm having the mind block thing again…"

"The same thing happens to me…"

"You don't usually have answers the questions unless you don't have to think about it. You worked out why my nose was bleeding using Biology because of your instincts… I've never had a Bokki in a lesson."

"And I never have ideas unless you give them to me... I think it's my fault that you get them."

"I knew that from the Sunday morning."

"Ok, I'm slow, I get it."

"No, you just need time and you don't know your result yet."

"That's the problem, I've finished every exam and I still feel nervous."

"Everyone is, but they're already decided, you can't go back now..."

"Oh, maybe I'm guilty, because I didn't stick to your revision timetable unless you were in the room… You're the only thing that motivates me."

"You're the only thing that motivates me."


	117. Chapter 117

"Is that all you can think about?"

"Actually, I'm hatching a plan… Like maybe if I cried you'd take care of me!"

"Hidoi!*" Wataru looks offended. He pouts which, makes Nippori feel guilty.

"Sorry, I was influenced by my little sister."

"But she's nice."

 _He thinks I'm talking about Hinako, but the little one is really the one with all the good strategies for getting what she wants._

"Not her, she's only nice 'cos she likes you, she threatened to kill Mizusawa."

"I get where she's coming from… Wait! She likes me? Not another one..."

"No, not like that!... At least, I don't think so. Errr... Then we'd have the same taste… Anyway, it's the small one that gave me the idea."

"Not her, she's so sweet."

"Don't judge a book by its cover, you should know better."

"She's not _that_ bad."

"She isn't, but she always gets her way"

"With that little face, no wonder she gets away with it… I'd probably buy her a car if she asked."

"I know right? Whatever you do, don't let her know you're vulnerable to her charm. My sister's the only one who can tell when she's being manipulative."

"She sounds good."

"Oh yeah, she's a pro and I mean it, she actually makes money."

"She's a genius!"

"I think so too."

"Then look at you, you're so honest, you didn't even manage to start your plan."

"Oh!? I knew I wasn't thinking straight... Unlike something else I know of."

"Is this how you are when you're hyper and horny?"

"How am I being?"

"You keep making dirty jokes."

"Dirty jokes?"

 _I thought I was flirting..._

"Yeah I never really got them until recently but Ryosuke makes them all the time."

"Oh, I see that's why I never really found him funny, he makes Etchi jokes?"

"Anyway, we're in public, you're really not thinking straight."

"You're the one that taught me private was when no one could see." He tiptoes his middle and index finger up Wataru's lap, each step taken in time with the seductively stressed syllables.

"This is out in the open, if we're spotted there's no other way to explain."

"Nii-chan, I don't care, let's be naughty together."

"I really don't like it when I'm the rational one… Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to resist?"

"I know how _hard_ it is." He moves his hand onto his lap, before saying. "Why don't you stop resisting?" He gets no reaction. "Nii-chan tasukete~**!" He pleads

"No."

"I'm begging you."

"Sorry,"

"Tasukete kure***~" Surprisingly, Wataru remains firm and is quite stubborn in his resistance.

"You need to wipe your nose again." He holds out a tissue, Nippori uses it.

"Thanks."

"Don't give it back." Nippori is still full of beans and takes the opportunity to start running again as Wataru flinches, he decides to use the tissue to initiate a chase. Wataru effortlessly jumps a fence into an uninhabited football pitch and Nippori follows, landing on Wataru in an uncoordinated heap.

"Serves you right. That'll teach you to chase people with bloody tissues."

"That reminds me."

"Oh, no get it away from me!" They break out into a wrestling match. Wataru gains the upper hand and stops when he notices something.

"Are you crying?"

"No... I mean yes it's hay fever!"

Author's note

*Hidoi→How could you/ that's terrible.

**Tasukete →Help me

***Tasukete kure→Please help me, I'm begging you!


	118. Chapter 118

"You don't have hay fever."

 _He's observant, when it counts…_

"You're right, you know me too well! Those were tears of laughter!" Nippori pulls him in for a hug. "I was gonna threaten to sneeze on you, then you'd get scared of the blood and I'd win."

 _That makes a lot of sense but... Wait a sec!_

"What did I tell you about revealing your secret plots?"

"Errm..."

 _He really can't think of anything else..._

"You'll never deceive anyone if you're that honest. I'm surprised that was your intention."

"What else would I try?"

"Don't start getting any ideas, but I you'd have said..." He clears his throat in preparation for a needy Nippori impression. "...'Please~ Nii-chan~ It hurts so much!' My hand would of been down your pants faster than you could say Bokki."

 _He's making me go soft I didn't think I could be such a pushover… I just can't stand the thought of him suffering..._

"... Actually, I forgot you had a Bokki… How did you run with it?"

 _It's not that big..._

"Errm… Why else would I fall over the fence?"

"You fall a lot."

"It's almost _always_ your fault."

"How?"

"I fell down the stairs and you caught me because I was too distracted to clean properly."

"How is that my fault?"

"You sleep naked… And just now you made me jump over a fence."

"Ok, that one was my fault. But you definitely fall a lot."

"I can't think of a time when it wasn't your fault, but it is always the result of fun shenanigans."

"I don't think it was funny that time I kicked you on to the ground, or when you cracked your head open."

"At least I was with you, you don't want to know the kind of things I can be subjected to on weekends at home."

"You mean chores?"

"No, you don't know what girls are like, especially behind closed doors." He shudders at the thought of spending extended periods of time in the same room as his sister and her friends.

"You don't have to feel guilty for all my injuries, as long as I was happy at the time." Nippori kisses him.

"In a public park?"

"We're the only ones with half days, there's no one else around. Remember?"

"You must really be horny!"

"'Me so horny, me love you long time'!" Wataru gets worried about Nippori, assuming the role of the sensible one he edges out from under him and gives him some space.

"That English was terrible, you used the _direct_ object, when you should have used..." Nippori stops his mouth with a kiss.

"I love it when you correct me, you're right, in was just a reference to something I heard once in an old film, I never understood what in meant until now… You did that thing again!"

"What?"

"You remembered something I taught you!"

"Yeah, but it all comes out at the _wrong_ time..."

"Tell me about it." He hints, getting closer to Wataru.

"I thought it was your sister's birthday don't you have to be there?"

"You're really stubborn aren't you? I always give into things… I don't like the thought of letting people down."

"Actually I'm finding it hard to say no, you're the only person I can't resist."

"Please help nii-chan… My head's hurting..." He dabs his nose with the tissue.

 _What am I doing? I know I want this to happen… I can't let him be in pain…_ He leans over an presses his lips to nippori's forehead.

"Which head? I'll 'kiss it better'."

 _What does he mean? I've only got one head..._

"It's this one."

"Don't you want me to suck your ochinchin?"

"That's what you meant? You should've said so."

 _I thought I did say so…_ Wataru takes Nippori's head into his hands and kisses him passionately.

"Oh~ Nii-chan~" Nippori moans with reckless abandon as the world around him melts away.

That's what I wanna hear… He slips his hand under Nippori's t-shirt and uses his middle and index finger to stimulate Nippori's nipple, he repositions himself on top of Wataru and manages to grind into him, as they kiss more and more heatedly. The continuously roll about the field, in a world of their own and safe in the knowledge that they're fully alone together.

 _He's so energetic today, it's hard to keep up…_ Wataru stops to catch his breath. Nippori whimpers and frowns.

"What's the matter?"

"I was this close again."

 _That makes more sense… I still couldn't tell…_ He reaches down to liberate Nippori's steadfast erection.

"Aaaaaa~ Aaaaaaaaaaaahhh~! Niiiiii-chaaaann~Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~" Nippori squeezes his eyes shut as he thrusts into Wataru's palm. "Nii-chan, don't stop! I'm having another one! Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh~ Iku! Iku!" He pants out of breath. "That was so intense… it must be because you made me wait again. Nii-chan you're horny too? Mines back, but I still want to give you a hand."


	119. Chapter 119

Wataru inverts their position, so he's on top. He thrusts his tongue into Nippori's welcoming mouth. He occupies himself with undoing the button on Wataru's trousers.

"Let me help you."

"I've done it." He reaches up and uses both hands to massage Wataru's throbbing mass.

"Ah! Ah! Keiji-kun!" He moans breathlessly as his eyes loll back into his head.

"Oh, nii-chan it's so warm and drippy I wanna taste it again..."

"Let's do each other! At least there's nowhere for you to fall. I promise I won't forget you this time. Can you get on top of me like before?"

 _I don't want to accidentally lose my balance and fall on him... He seems so fragile, like I could just break him… I just want to protect him so badly, I can't stand the thought of hurting him again just thinking back on all those times where he's ended up injured, even if they were accidents, I feel so guilty... He can't see what I see and even if he wants to be rough there's only so far you can go... I told my mum I wouldn't let him cry again but I'm failing... I need to make a more conscious effort... I have to try to prove my love for him rather than just sitting back and letting things happen..._

"This is such a thrill, we could get caught any second!"

"You've got a bit of a wild side haven't you, Keiji-kun?"

"You're the only one that can bring it out nii-chan, I'm so glad I've got you to be myself with. I feel like with you I'm a different person, to when I'm with anyone else, because you don't have any assumptions about me or expectations that are false, because you know me on a deeper level than anyone else… Or maybe it's the fact that you complete me."

"You don't have to seduce me anymore I'm horny too, remember? You sure know how to sweet-talk a boy when you put your mind to it."

"I meant it, I was just thinking out loud... You are ' _it_ ' for me no one and nothing else I could make me happier."

"So, that's how it should be? Because I feel the same..." Nippori interrupts the thought with a kiss, as his sexual desire regains control over his actions, preventing him from being able to listen. "Oh~ Keiji-kun! You're so tempestuous today!"

"Oh, you used a big word, I love it when you use big words~"

" _Anything_ I do right now is going to set you off, isn't it?"

"Oh, you're being so logical, I'm reaching my limit! Ooohhh~ Nii-chan~ Touch me!" He takes Wataru's hand into his.

"I'll do more than that!" He shuffles down the length of Nippori's body before lining his face up with his crotch. He palms Nippori through his shorts and licks his lips in anticipation.

"Ah~ Aaaah~ Ah!~ Niiiiiii-chiiiiiiyyyaaaaaaannnnnn~ Ah~ Iku!" He shudders as his eyes blink open.

"Sorry, I didn't think..."

"Why're you sorry? You did as I asked and it's back anyway! Let me do you, I'm desperate… I've neglected you for too long."

"Actually, I neglected you for too long, let's not keep talking about it, we can do each other at the same time, like I was saying before."

"Oops! I actually forgot… You've definitely got a point about that blood thing, if there's one thing I know for sure it's that it's not going to my brain."

"It is or you'd have a major stroke and die."

"Close your smart mouth and get into my arm's, you're really a genius, I knew you could do it if you tried… You're making me look dim next to you." They engaged in yet another deep passionate French kiss.

"Better yet, I close my mouth around your ochinchin..."

"Let's do it together..."

"Ok, let's switch positions,"

"Oh thanks, the sun was in my eyes, you're so thoughtful!"

"I'm getting cold feet about doing this in broad daylight now that you mention it… Do you want to walk over to that tree over there?"

"If it makes you feel more comfortable!" Wataru gets to his feet, Nippori holds out his hand.

"You want me to pull you up?" Nippori nods, Wataru pulls him up off the ground it one smooth motion, without any effort and he jets off. "How do you still have the energy after all that? Oh and you're running? I can't, I give up you win."

"Oh, I forgot, it's hard to run with a boner."

"It's actually hard to walk too." Nippori jogs back towards him,

"Oh of course it is… Why don't we struggle to walk to the tree together?" He takes his hand.

"What a good sportsman."

"Call it a draw, shall we?" They meander over to the shady tree hand in hand. Nippori spots a hill and takes off, running again. "Sorry nii-chan this will be the first hill I've rolled down all year, I'll just do it until you catch up!" He sprints to the top of the hill and rolls back down, he ends up at Wataru's feet. He bends down and picks him up, he wraps his legs around Wataru's back and they kiss heatedly as Wataru slowly lowers himself onto the hill. Nippori's legs are folded around him and he grips tighter as they grind their full clothed crutches together. "Oh~ Oooooh~ Nii-chan!~"

"Iku?" Nippori nods and he slips both hands between them to massage Nippori's erect nipples under his shirt. Nippori squeezes tighter as the sensations take over his body,

"Iku! Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~ Aaaaaaaaah!~" Nippori opens his eyes and snogs Wataru before saying. "Where were we?"


	120. Chapter 120

He stands up to reposition himself in line with Wataru's swollen organ. Wataru starts to speak when Nippori firmly applies his lips to the head of his penis and loses his train of thought.

 _Oh, it's just like I remember, it's been so long since I last did this… I know there was a trick to it…_ He continues to lick and suck Wataru's throbbing penis with enthusiasm as he struggles to recall the memory. _Oh yeah!_

"Ah! Keiji-kun! Mmmmmmmmm~ That feels _so_ good squeeze 'em harder.."

 _Oops, I'm not supposed to be forgetting about him… Even if he isn't bothered… It's still my job to make life as comfortable as possible for him…_

"Oh! Nii-chan!" Nippori resumes the blowjob but can't help but hum in pleasure.

 _Oooh? That's different! I suppose being kind to others can pay off… I know he doesn't do it for rewards, but… I sure there's usually a good outcome to helping others either way…_ The new sensations cause Wataru to lightly thrust up into his love's mouth. This time he doesn't choke, instead he pushes himself further and lower down than ever. _I want him to last… I wonder how it would feel if I sucked…_ Wataru gobbles up Nippori's compact balls and sucks them, which startles Nippori, he laughs while continuing to persevere with the blow job. The vibrations send a chill down his spine as his hips rise up off the grassy bank. This indicates to Nippori that he's close.

"Together?"

"Together!" They both resume with renewed vigour and Nippori is first, his moans only heighten the pleasure for Wataru.

 _I need to let him know…_

"Ah~ Keiji-kun! Iku!" Nippori removes his mouth and jerks him to completion before pulling trousers back up and turning around to curl up beside Wataru,

"All that Etchi stuff made me thirsty..."

"You mean all that running? I just noticed you always manage to stop cumming when I stop… We really are in sync!"

"I don't know what would have happened if I didn't get thirsty..."

"You'd fall asleep eventually, if you didn't get hungry, either that or spending the night at the park."

"Actually it would definitely have stopped if you'd walked away and left me alone."

"I don't know if I'd be able to bring myself to do that… What time is it?"

"Oh, no! We can't have a sit down at a cafe. I need to go home for my sister's birthday, I'm not late yet, but we need to get it 'to go'."

"That's fine,"

"Ok race you to the cafe!"

"You can't possibly still have _all_ that energy can you?"

"I can't sit still." He jogs back to Wataru.

"We can't run everywhere, the streets are gonna be busier than they were before. Plus, if you run you'll draw attention to yourself. People will think you've nicked something, Let's just walk, like sensible people."

"I can't argue with that, but we can still run in the park without looking like we're up to something. I need to nip to the loo. I should probably wash my hands… Last one there's a rotten egg!"

"I'll see you there, shall I!" Wataru dashes past him.

"Catch me if you can!" Nippori manages to overtake, then Wataru is beside him and they're neck a neck.

"You've really improved!"

 _I'm actually trying this time!... I could speed up but I'm not really in a competitive mood…_

 _I don't know if I've really improved, the only thing I've changed is managing stay on my feet… I don't like credit when I don't deserve it… There are people so much faster than I am… It's as if this is if he didn't think I was capable of it… It's nice to be praised but not to be patronised…_

"It's nothing really, I know you can go faster than that, why don't you push yourself?"

"Ok, let's see if you can keep up!" Wataru jets off and Nippori tries.

 _I can't keep up, but it's nice to be given the chance to prove myself!_

He finally catches up to Wataru at the toilet and pants out of breath. "So, you made it?"

"Yep, you won and you deserve credit for it, you are faster than me after all!" He pauses for breath. "I'm properly spent now! I'm glad, you seriously challenged me, I've always believed there's no point in winning if you didn't earn it, because you don't deserve to."

"Like, when we had that education conversation?" They wash their hands and Wataru studies Nippori's reflection in the mirror. "I suppose I don't deserve to pass, since I haven't worked as hard or for as long as everyone else. Otherwise, they'd be too easy and have no value." He finishes washing his hands and stands behind Nippori.

"Ow!"

"Sorry, your hair's full of grass, I noticed when I look in the mirror at you." He turns around and reaches up to Wataru's hair.

"Yours too."

"You're flicking water on me." Wataru turns on the tap of the neighbouring sink and reciprocates. Nippori cups his hand and fills it with water before dumping it over Wataru. They have full on water fight and they're both drenched as they walk out onto the sunny field.


	121. Chapter 121

**A bonus to celebrate the start of my half term.**

"What do you fancy?"

"The honey and chamomile looks alright."

"The who?"

"It's herbal tea, it's actually quite nice. I drink it all the time at home! I borrow it from my sister. I usually either drink that or water."

"I thought you might like a cold drink, since it's so hot outside."

"I don't see a problem with it."

"I can't think of anyone I know that would go to a cafe and have a hot drink in this type of weather."

"I'm not any of those people I follow my own rules and if I'd like to drink something hot, that's what I'll do."

"You're so hard-boiled!"

"You know it! What were you thinking of getting?"

"I don't know, maybe one of those iced drinks." They are served and once again Wataru insists on paying for Nippori's. "Where do you think you're going with all that sugar?"

"I know it's not traditional to put sugar in herbal tea, but I like sweet things."

"It's not that, that I've got a problem with, I just don't want you bouncing off the walls again." They exit the shop and walk in the direction of Nippori's house.

"I can't wait to see the look on my sister's face when she opens my present to her."

"How long has she wanted those paints?"

"Just over a year, I think… She tried to save up but gave up when she found a cheaper option, she likes a bargain and just couldn't justify spending all that money on herself. She works so hard, I think she deserves it. She looks after everyone and doesn't stop to think about herself. It's why I _had_ to take that time off school to work extra to pay for her school trip."

"You're the same!"

"Actually, I _do_ get to think about myself, when I'm with you. And you're taking care of me so, I don't have to. Even if I don't show it, I'm really grateful for what you do."

"You do show it! You show it ever day when I see you smile and you spend time with me. I love you so that's thanks enough."

"Oh, nii-chan you're such a sweetheart, you'll set me off in a minute. I love you too, you big softie!~" They arrive at the door, there is no one around so they hug then kiss each other goodbye.

"I can't wait to see you tomorrow!"

"I miss you already!" He blows a kiss as Wataru walks out of the gate, he catches it, presses it to his lips and blows one back, before heading home. Inside, Nippori is greeted by his family. "Happy birthday, Hinako!" He hugs her.

"Thanks Keiji!" They all sit down to have dinner. "I get to open my presents after dinner."

"What did you get up to today?"

"I went out, look at the state of you! You're covered in grass and grass stains."

"Yeah, I went to the..."

"Park?"

"Yeah and I..."

"Rolled down a hill?"

"Plus I also..."

"Wrestled with someone?"

"Am I _that_ predictable?"

"I've never been to a park with you and seen a hill that you didn't roll down."

"I don't if it's wet or muddy."

"You're filthy as it is!"

"Don't worry, I do the laundry."

"Who were you with today?"

"Wataru, the redheaded one!"

"Yeah, I know him he's having a good influence on you."


	122. Chapter 122

"He got you a gift, you know?"

"How would I know? You've hidden them all from me."

"Yeah, we searched top to bottom! She gave me five hundred yen!" Says the younger sister.

"And I got two!" Says the younger brother.

"I got nothing." Says the middle brother.

"You didn't help!"

"I wonder if I can remember where I put it…" He pauses for emphasis and strokes his non-existent beard pensively... "In your wardrobe?" In a flash, Imouto-san is gone and nothing but a cloud of smoke remains.

"Why couldn't you have hidden it in a more obvious place!?"

"I didn't want to miss your reaction when you opened it. I thought you were waiting until after dinner."

"I can't, not now that they're in my hands! Two! One from Nippori Keiji, and the other from Higashi?"

"Azuma Wataru."

"Azuma-kun! This smells well nice." She tears open the paper. "Oh, how adorable! This is so cute I don't even want to use it."

"Open the one from me!"

"OK, I thought you wanted me to wait but..." She teasingly peels back one flap as if she's not in a hurry to find out what it is. She recognises the packaging instantly and her eyes shoot open. She is unable to contain her shriek of delight, Nippori and the rest cover their ears defensively. She stands up and takes Nippori's head into her hand and plants a kiss on his forehead."Thank you so much! I don't know how I can thank you enough! This is perfect! I've wanted theses for absolute ages."

"Save the rest for after dinner." They listen to their dad and afterwards Nippori clears away the plates.

"Well, that's a tough act to follow, what did you get her?"

"I bought her some paint."

"They're not just any paints, they are the paints to end all paints! You don't understand how important these are to me. Leave the dishes alone! I want to open my other presents!"

"But-"

"No, 'if's no 'but's! Come back and sit with us."

"I need to..."

"You can do it later now end of discussion!" He does as he's told. "How long did you save for them?"

"I've been saving since... For a bit... It doesn't matter, let's move on."

"You're the best big brother I've ever had!" She punches him playfully and he rubs his arm.

"Isn't that obvious he's the only big brother you've ever had! Anyway, I made you a card today and I bought you this... Not that I can compete with him."

"A poster of Gackt! This is great he's my Idol!"

"He's my age!*"

"How old were you when you had kids?"

"In my twenties..."

"You mean you were twenty? Having us really adds years to your look."

"Yeah! I mean, you look twice his age!"

 _Those two really have no delicacy that must hurt dad's feelings..._

"Ok, leave him alone, it's not his fault he has to work a lot." The youngest senses the tension and thoughtfully interrupts to change the subject.

"I drew you a picture at school today!"

"It's beautiful! You've really got talent, you can have my old acrylics."

"It's not _his_ birthday, why does he get a present? What about me?"

"I can't trust you not to make a mess, they really stain, you know."

"He's six!"

"Yeah, but he knows how to behave."

"I know how to behave I just prefer not to! Life's more fun that way!"

"Even when people don't trust you?"

"I wouldn't trust myself if I were them, you can never guess what I'm up to." Her introverted older brother loses patience and gives her the unwrapped present he'd been holding on to.

"Ok, I'll go next. Here."

"You got me the Cero World record CD!? Aw, you secretly care! Come here you!"

"I'm fine thanks."

" _Come_ on!"

"Nah, I'd rather not." She hugs him and he hugs her back.

"Oh, it's so touching to see my children getting along… I'll be getting going then."

"Eh?" Imouto-san is heart broken.

 _He could've at least given me a card!... Even if he couldn't afford that he could have picked fresh flowers from the park! Written a poem! They're free and they show he at least thought of me on my special day..._

He stands to leave but first, stops at the cupboard under the sink. He then turns round and presents a tacky shimmering gold box wrapped in black ribbon.

"Why didn't I think to check there? Thanks dad, sorry I doubted you." She lets her enthusiasm get the better of her and snatches the box out of his hand. She pecks him on the cheek when she remembers. She places the box on the ground, frantically removes the ribbon, undoes the two clasps, flips open the lid and peers inside. " Make up!? "

 _Make up!? Now she's got more ammunition to pick on me with!_

"Why did you buy her that?"

"I thought fifteen year old girls liked make up."

"They do! Thank you so much, Daddy!"

 _Daddy!?_ The whole room looks amazed. _That is so out of character… What's up with her?… That twinkle in her eye? She's planning something!_

"I know, Kaori-nee is gonna love this!" Nippori cringes.

"This is the second time you've mentioned her, can I meet her?" Her younger sister is properly curious now.

"You can, tonight! Keiji, make sure you take a shower before seven. You look a right state with grass still in your hair."

"Oh, I leave before six, I wish I could meet her!... Oh! Look at Keiji blush!" The boys all laugh at him as his dad says. "Man up!" And slaps him on the back.

 _He has no clue about the irony in what just he said…_

 _I can't wait to do the opposite of that to him, later!_

"How old is Kaori-chan?"

"Same age as Keiji, she's like a sister to me!" She hints at Nippori.

"It's not like that I..."

"Didn't I just tell you to man up!?"

"What a shame I can't see Kaori-chan..." He looks to the left as he says this. "I'm going to be too busy with homework..."

"Don't lie, your exams are over!"

"Yeah, your weak attempts at deception don't fool me, sunshine!" The younger girl pipes in.

"I was the same at your age..."

"Dad too much information and Keiji, it's my birthday."

"Fine, I can't let you down. I'll be there, just don't get your hopes up."

Author's note

*This is set in two thousand and ten so Gackt would have been thirty eight which is actually older than her dad.


	123. Chapter 123

After their dad leaves, Nippori is finally able to get on with the dishes. "It's my night to do the dishes, you know."

"It's your birthday."

"Let me at least help you dry."

"If it makes you happy, ok." Today seems to be the day when Imouto-san finally loses her patience and decides to just ask an obvious question.

"Keiji, do you have a girlfriend?"

"Only one."

"What do you mean only one? You're only meant to have one."

"Oh, are they different to male friends?"

"Yeah, totally different!..."

 _It should have been obvious, but the only way to get answers is to ask direct questions…_

"Has she touched you?"

"Only once, but I made her stop."

"You did? Wait, don't tell me, something happened you can't explain?"

"No, nothing happened..." He looks away.

"Don't lie to me."

"Nothing really happened."

"But, something did?"

"So, you won't laugh or say there's something wrong with me?"

"Why would I do that?"

 _The plot thickens…_

"You can tell me, I'm your sister."

"Fine… She sat on my lap, without asking."

"Umm hmmm, and then?"

"Them she put her hand on my… Sorry, I can't say."

"Yes you can, go on!"

"The thing that's different between us."

"Come on, what happened next?"

"I told her to get off and she asked if I'd ever been with a woman before, I asked 'in what way?'... She kept trying to do whatever she was doing… Until I..."

"Until you?"

"Until I cried."

 _My brother's obviously not ready for that kind of thing! He's so fragile…_

"So, she sat on her own chair, said sorry and bought me an ice cream to make it up to me."

"You were in public!?"

"Yeah, but there was no one around, it's really empty in that shop, since it just opened… Is there's something wrong with crying in public?"

"No."

"They're not all like that are they?"

"No."

 _Few, I was worried for a second…_

"You wouldn't do anything like that would you?"

"I'm too young, don't sweat it."

"You really are a special girl, Hinako."

"You're an even more special brother all my mates are jealous that I've got you."

"I wonder why?"

"Probably because you actually listen to me, give me attention and you care about me as an individual."

"I know for a fact that if I didn't do that I'd be missing out, because you're such a pleasure to be around." He says this while trying his hands on a tea towel.

"Why don't you go and take that shower and I'll put those two to bed."

"You know the older one's not gonna sleep right?"

"I know, he'll stay awake half the night reading and being a shut-in… Wasting the electricity on the lights!"

"Of course, you deal with the bills."

"How do you cope with the brightness? It's blinding when you're trying to sleep."

"I'm used to it. In fact, I find it quite hard to sleep without it at this point."

"You're so used to adjusting to accommodate other people, it becomes part of your routine."

"In general I just can't stand the thought of letting someone down, especially if I care about them"

"Why don't you go take that shower?"

"Ok, thanks for helping me with the dishes."

"When you come out we will have a little bit more quality time."

 _I wonder what it'll be like when I do 'come out'..._ The boys go to their room and Nippori hears his phone suddenly make a sound. He checks it and sees that there is a message from Mizusawa.

「 He looked so sexy in specs! I could barely keep my hands off him｣

「 I get you. I did Etchi with Wataru at the _park_! I seem to have lost my mind. I had a nosebleed and then I seriously couldn't help myself. _He_ had to be the sensible one and he put up a good fight, but I was too persistent. ｣

「And I'm supposedly the 'hentai', You're ticking all the boxes being all handsy _and_ having a nose bleed!｣

「I think it was something to do with the great big sundae Kyoko-chan bought me.｣

「A female friend?｣

「What's wrong with that?｣

「No, nothing, I've had a fair few, they seem to have a much better capacity for my gossip than my male friends. I may've even still been talking to my first girlfriend, if it wasn't for the rumours. Things got uncomfortable and now it's just weird. Don't get me wrong, I get on with boys just fine, but she seemed more understanding, we just clicked in a different way. People looking from the outside in like to get things confused in their heads when it comes to male/female relationships. I even did it with you and Wataru's mum! You should probably be aware of people failing to understand the beauty of an intergender platonic friendship. Don't ever let that get confused. ｣

「I'll try.｣

「Good, it'll only end badly otherwise.｣

"What are you doing on your phone?"

"Talking to Nippori. Why'd you ask? Is there a problem with that?"

"No, I just thought the weekend was _our_ time."

「I'm not talking to him and it's hurting Yama-chan's feelings.｣ He jokes.

"This _is_ 'our time'."

「I'll talk to you later then.｣

"I'll never understand the need people have to communicate through technology with someone in another place they can visit any time while sitting in the room with a perfectly decent person face to face."

「No, I think he might get a bit possessive in a sec. ｣

"I don't get it either, 'kids these days' and all that malarky."

「Is that what you want?｣

"Exactly, looking at pixels when you could be looking at a face. Trying to share their whole lives rather than live in the moment."

「I know I'd like him to emote more, he's so passive and tolerant, I have to act like twice as much of an arsehole as I am to provoke him. I also kinda want his hands on me. He only ever agrees to do it at night, when everyone's asleep. I wanna see how far I can't take this. I know he's capable of jealousy...｣

"Good point Yama-chan, the question is what's the point in spending your time trying to get memories of an event into digital from, rather than actually trying to live it for yourself."

「You really like getting on people's nerves don't you?｣

"You've got to be there to _feel_ it." What Mizusawa doesn't realise, being so immersed in his conversation with Nippori that Kiyama's hand had started slowly creeping up onto his thigh as he said that.

「It's my speciality, what can I say? He's just a tough nut to crack, we're having a conversation and I'm being really hypocritical in it and I haven't looked at him the whole time. He's not even fussed about that. I wonder what he's thinking, if he divided his attention from me I'd give him a good earful.｣

"Right!"

 _I must be boring him if he's not looking at me and has started responding in monosyllabic words… Whatever Nippori's saying must be very interesting, I'm just gonna have to distract him from the distraction…_

「Poor Kiyama-san, you shouldn't be so manipulative.｣

"Not only to feel it, but to touch, taste and..." He breathes the words into his ear and kisses a trail down from there to his collar bone.

「It's taking effect now, he's fed up of being ignored. Even though we're on the same team for tumbling, we only every speak to each other two days a week, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. He's being all needy and insecure right now, I've got him right where I want him. He's gonna start working for my attention now. I know he'll do whatever it takes...｣ He sends the last message and drops his phone on the floor as Kiyama's hand finds it's way into his underwear. Kiyama is on him now, consuming him with his eyes, feasting on his tongue and nibbling his lip, as clothes start to come off.

「Bye.｣

After putting down the phone has a shower as he was told to.


	124. Chapter 124

Meanwhile, the girls have a discussion in their room.

"I know you like torturing people, almost as much as I do but..."

"Oi. I live to torture people!"

"What I'm trying to say he needs some encouragement, he's a good sport, really."

"You're being really ambiguous, what's going on?"

"This is Kaori-chan" She shows her Nippori's phone screensaver.

"That's his screensaver and he likes her? Creepy!"

"Look closer."

"She's beautiful I get it. So she's coming to our house?"

"She's already in the house. You're not actually paying attention are you I set that picture as a prank and he still hasn't managed to change it back. It's not his fault, I only bought it cheap on black Friday and gave it to him at _Christmas_... He's not used to the phone yet."

"Pass it to me."

" Please and thank you, please and thank you, we must say, we must say when we ask for something, when we ask something, every day, every day. "

"I think it's a bit late in this stage to try and teach me manners, can I have the phone?"

"What do you say?"

"Please may I have a look at the phone."

"There's a good girl, I knew you had it in you!"

"Yeah yeah, whatever I only use manners when it suits me." She looks at the phone. "Shut the front door! that's amazing, how did you do that!?" She falls about the floor laughing. "Oh, I can't take it! That's priceless!" She continues her cackling before saying."You're crueller than I thought, I can't stop laughing... My sides are aching...You're a genius, I can't believe I've never seen that before."

"Ok, calm down."

"It's just too funny I can't believe I'm seeing my big brother like that."

"That's the sort of thing we don't need tonight, like I was trying to explain. I know you couldn't care less about other people's feelings but...He's really self-conscious as a girl so whatever you do, don't take the mick out of him! He's so sensitive it's _well_ hard to console him... He's also really shy, so the more compliments you give, the better... I don't really know what other advice to give, just be nice or you might lose him I know I nearly did the first time I convinced him to do this. Oh, and that reminds me don't let him lay down, then you've really lost him... So yeah, to summarise be gentle and encouraging. Also, don't forget to enjoy yourself and be creative, you'd be surprised how much of a brilliant canvas he is."

"What a big girl's blouse!"

"What did I just tell you."

"Sorry, I need to get all the insults out if my system, it's not every day I have to act like a nice person for extend periods of time. I usually get to come home and be myself."

"You're still yourself, except not overly critical. I don't mean you have to censor everything you say, but be careful."

"When, you said you lost him what happened?"

"I accidentally said something rude and he went in the corner and sulked."

"What cry baby! I haven't cried since I was in nappies!"

"It's freaky, but true."

"I wanna go get K _aori_ -chan!"

"If you have to." She leaves the bedroom and bursts into the toilet, without knocking.

"Kaori-chan I've got your towel." Nippori is startled and clutches the shower curtain, he nearly slips but regains his balance and accepts the towel.

"Thanks." He steps out. His now clean hair is hugs his scalp and reaches down to his shoulders. "You shouldn't be in here, you know?"

"I know, that one..." She points in the direction of her shared bedroom "...Always shouts at me when I try to use the toilet when she's in the bath, but there's only one toilet. You're definitely the better sister Kaori-chan."

 _So it's already started?..._

"Thank you, you're being suspiciously kind."

"Do you shave your armpits Kaori-chan? I caught her doing it once."

"I don't."

"It looks like you do."

"I never will."

"That's unusual."

"Why?"

"Because you're a girl."

"So?"

"You get rid of it."

"For what purpose?"

"I don't know, it's not something I have to worry about yet."

"I'm going to grow mine, if it's natural, I don't see why it shouldn't be there."

"Me neither."

"Can I go to my room now please."

"No, I've come to get you,"

"Ok." She takes his hand and pulls him to her bedroom.

"Can I get something from my room, please?"

Fine, but I don't have all day." He goes to his room and puts on a pair of underpants, in effort to avoid more mishaps, like last time.

"What did you get?"

"Just some underwear, if you weren't rushing me, I might've got some more clothes."

"You mean, _knickers_?"

 _The torment has already begun... With her involved, I can easily see this as being twice as excruciating than the first time._

"Of course… Erm I wear knickers."

"There's nothing embarrassing about that fact. You go red easily. You're cute when you blush, almost cuter than me and I mean that from the depths of my bleakest and vilest of hearts." Nippori doesn't know how to respond, to the sentiment as insulting as it is, he assumes Kaori would like it.


	125. Chapter 125

"Pick an outfit for Kaori-chan,"

 _I know she's going to be particularly creative… Or should I say cruel and merciless?.._.

"Please don't." He whispers under his breath.

"Don't break character,"

"Ok, anything you say, little sis!" She goes to the wardrobe to fetch one of her favourite outfits.

"You're a genius!... Kaori-chan _is_ small for her age, but I don't think she's gonna fit into a leotard made for nine year old."

"What about that black swimming costume you wear?"

"That'll do!"

"Tights and leg warmers?"

"I'm so glad I got you involved, you think of everything! You're in for a treat Kaori-chan, she's going to let you borrow her tutu!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, I think you should thank her, she really treasures it!"

"Thank you ever so much! I'm honoured, you can be so kind sometimes!"

 _Praise the good and ignore the bad..._

"Well. Kaori-chan, you're my favourite big sister! I wish I could see you more often!"

"It's nice of you to say that!"

"As far as I can see you don't really make an effort with your appearance, so we're going to try our best to make you pretty! Not that it's gonna take much! Do you wanna look fabulous?" He looks to Imouto-san for approval, she nods. He nods. "Good, then we'll begin." She hands him a pair of pitch black tights. "It's a shame you're not going to be able to fit in the pink cotton tights I wear to ballet lessons, but these black ones'll have to do. I'll show you how to put them on, you start with the foot… Woah!"

"Is something the matter?"

"The only issue here is that you always wear trousers."

 _I had shorts on today…_

"You need to show off these legs more… They're so smooth!"

 _I'm not about to start complimenting people on a regular basis, but I could get used to this, it's not horrible…_

"I don't like showing off."

"You'd get too much attention, wouldn't you Kaori-chan?" Imouto-san finally makes an input on the conversation having allowed her little sister to take over for long enough.

"Don't remind me."

"What kind of attention would she get?"

"Male attention."

"Is that what you want, Kaori-chan?"

"No, I really don't like that."

"Why don't you _make_ them stop?"

 _That's what she's like, at least I don't have to worry about her taking care of herself, she's actually quite frightening little girl…_

"It's fine, I'm quitting that job in a week's time."

"Eh?"

"N… Aniki's mum is giving me a job, at her restaurant, with the same hours and wage!... Because I told her."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Thanks!... You don't have to help with the tights anymore, I can take it from here." He stands and turns away to pull the tights from his thighs up to his belly button. He rewraps the towel before sitting on the floor.

"How do they feel?"

"Tight."

"That means they fit!"

"I don't know why you've sat back down, you're not fully dressed yet!"

 _This is hard, they are both so bossy... I just have to keep doing as they say and it'll all be over soon… I suppose Kaori would apologise for that mistake..._

"I beg your pardon, what should I be doing?"

"Put this on next." He turns away, once again to put the swimming costume on.

"Stop being so shy, we're gonna have to see it eventually!"

 _I don't want them to see that sticky out part... It's really obvious in this... I can't tell them my real issue… That'd be 'breaking character'…_

"Are you sure you want to see an incomplete outfit?"

"You're right, I like the suspense."

 _Good, she didn't try to argue..._

"Last but not least the tutu!"

"Be careful with it Kaori-nee, that's my prized possession if it doesn't fit, don't force it!"

"Ok, I'll be careful." He takes and gently pulls the tutu, up over his bum, quite easily.

"That looks amazing Kaori-chan! The pink tutu really stands out!"

"Wait, you almost forgot, leg warmers! I'll help you put them on!" She does. "Your thighs are so slender. So feminine, it's like 'do you even have any muscle definition'?"

 _The compliments come easy when I think of them of insults to him as a male!... I could speak for days about how he lacks in masculinity... He's such as a deplorable older brother…_

"Is that supposed to be a good thing?"

"I'm not trying to be critical or anything. I just think you're so adorable and unthreatening."

"I don't know about that, I think people tend to see me differently depending on the group of people I'm with, but thanks." Nippori turns to imouto-san "What are you doing for your birthday?" He sits down, cross-legged.

"Don't sit cross-legged! I can see _everything_. Kaori-chan! It's so shameful and unladylike!"

"Sorry, pretend you didn't see that." He pulls the tutu down, hurriedly.

"Aw, she's blushing, bless her!"

"I'm just not used to wearing skirts." She christens the biggest brush in the dazzling gold box with some peach coloured powder, before generously applying it to her brother's already rose tinted cheeks.

"I know you're a bit of a tomboy, but you need to be more ladylike, Kaori-chan."


	126. Chapter 126

"Sorry, I don't really see myself as being a lady. I'm not sure if you know this but the opposite of a gentleman is gentlewoman and the opposite of Lady is Lord it is status of a certain level of dignitary, but in this form this colloquialism it refers to someone who only speaks when spoken do, just sits and looks pretty, has no opinions of their own or keeps them to themselves for the sake of maintaining the status quo of patriarchy. The image I have of them is being unable to do anything for themselves and feeling as if finding a rich husband is their life's goal… Plus they have a distorted image of their life's worth…."

 _Where's_ all this coming from?

"...You know how Sanji treats women?"

"I don't know, I don't watch shonen jump."

"You should, it's where all the violence happens." She switches to a smaller brush with reddish powder, now that his face has had an even coating of the base, before saying.

"You would watch for that reason, wouldn't you?"

"Anyway, he treats them like these fragile things that need to be protected and for whatever reason are dependent on others. I thought we were past that stage, I'd rather be treated like an equal! No one should ever be judged on what's below the belt, that's irrelevant. Like I've always said 'we're all people'. We all have the same potential and regardless of what stereotypes or other people say, above all, we should do our best not to let expectations of us get in the way of what we can actually do! We all belong to one race and that's human."

 _He's got a good point, but before he used that one piece analogy I could've sworn he was speaking from experience… He's so passionate about this topic, he must be really sympathetic… It's nice to have a brother that can relate to us even if it's it this form..._

"Well said Kaori-chan, what an inspiring female role model you've turned out to be! I couldn't have said it any better myself."

"You can do anything you set your mind to. There's nothing stopping you, except yourself, anything a 'man' can do a woman can. No better, no worse, just equal. Why should individuals be categorised? And defined by statistics? If they stand out it's because they made the effort to and if they failed it's because they weren't trying hard enough. It might look easy for a successful person, but they are always working for what they get."

"So I can take over the world, if I keep trying!?"

"With your cando attitude and determination you can… But I don't think there's a way of doing that legally… It's never quite worked out without corruption… In fact, being totalitarian has always gone wrong. Why don't you start with trying to be the Prime Minister? There's nothing stopping you from doing that."

"It sounds like a lot of hard work."

"It will be, but I know you can be great!"

"Kaori-chan's right. Look up, hold still! Stop flinching or I might go wrong." He stays as still as possible, for fear of his sister's hand slipping and being poked in the eye.

 _This is really humiliating... I know she's fascinated by how easily she can manipulate the way my face looks with colouring pencils, but why not one of the younger ones? Actually, I take that back, I wouldn't want to subject them to this..._

"What she's saying is that you're lucky, you don't live in a country where women are oppressed. The law is not against you, you have every opportunity. You just have to work hard, but that's the same for everyone else. Rather than thinking of yourself as 'just a girl' or 'a defenceless lady' think of yourself as a human. You're a person with every right to be where you are and the only thing defining you should be the content of your character."

 _Girl talk is so much more pleasant with him here…_

"Kaori-chan is right. I don't need a man!"

"You're nine!"

"I'm nearly ten!"

"You're still a child!"

"So are you!"

"I am, legally, so what! It's not an insult!"

"Calm down you two."

"Oh, Kaori-chan, always the voice of reason, just tell this one not to rush her life away."

"Are you finished with my face, sis?"

"I just need to add a little bit of sparkle!" She gently dusts his face with a fine glitter powder. "I'm gonna move onto your hair next."

"Ok and speaking of life, what did you say you were doing for your birthday again?"

"Oh yeah, we got interrupted by that deep discussion, I'm going to McDonald's and the cinema with my friends! They're paying for themselves."

"As expected of my little sister to work out a way to have fun on a budget!" He gives her a congratulatory pat on the back.

"Oh, and I was thinking of having a sleepover." She makes a start on combing his now dry flowing black hair.

"I'm not going to be there tomorrow. Is there a way you can do that and still be in charge?"

"I only want one person to stay over."

"Do I know her?"

"You know him very well actually,"

"Him? Oh, so you've got a male friend, like I've got a female friend?"

"I don't have any male friends like _yours_." She clears her throat. "Or even at all..."

"Who is he?"

"Wataru, since he bought my gift, I thought it'd be nice to invite him."

She wraps a strip of ribbon around his head lined up with the fringe and perfectly parted ponytails.

"Eh? You want him to stay here and me to stay there?"

"No both of you can stay."

"Eh?"

"You two stay on the floor and us two in our bunk beds."

"Why?"

"It's my birthday."

"Oh, alright but Kaori-chan is not going to make an appearance."

"Deal!"

"It's up to him too."

"Here!" She hands him his mobile phone. "I've finished my work of art, call and ask. He's cool, he'll get it."

"It's ringing."


	127. Chapter 127

"Put it on loudspeaker."

"Hi aniki."

"Why are you calling me 'aniki' on the phone?"

"Hi Azuma-kun!"

"Oh right… Hi, happy birthday."

"Yeah, you too!"

 _Get a grip Hinako... I'm talking nonsense... I should have just said 'thanks'!_

"Hinako, why are you red? Do you have a temperature?"

"Shut up Keiji, don't draw attention to it!" She hurriedly whispers, under her breath.

"It's not his birthday you know?"

"Hi Azuma-nii!" The youngest interrupts, out of nowhere, chirping in a charming sing-song voice. "My sister wants you to come to our house tomorrow, for a big sleepover. Ow!"

"I'm not inviting him, Kaori-chan is."

"Who's Kaori?"

"You'll see!"

"No, you won't."

"Fine."

"See you there, Aniki."

"'Aniki'? Hearing that come out of your beautifully hand painted mouth makes me feel ill. It's so gruff and street. I'm sure if Kaori-chan had an older male friend she'd say 'onii-san'."

"Eh? 'O'nii-san?"

"Yeah, because lady or no lady, you are a decent girl with manners, that was properly brought up."

"Ok, can I see what I look like now, please?"

"Oooh? Aren't we eager today? Just pose for some pictures now and I'll hand you the mirror."

"Why do you need them?"

"I need to paint a portrait, I'll title it as 'an image of my sister Kaori', you're so photogenic!"

"Anything you say, little sis."

"Hold your hand out like this."

"No that's swearing, do the peace sign and hold in on an angle so far to the right that your wrist hurts. Good. You're gorgeous! You're fabulous! The camera loves you darling! Own it! Wink at the camera! Blow kisses! Beautiful! Be bolder! Be cheeky! Yes! Yes! I love it! And I'm spent!"

"I know what film you're referencing, that's quite old… Classic Mike Myers!"

"But you didn't get half the jokes?"

"'Oh behave'!"

"I don't know what to do with you! If it weren't for all the Pripara, Aikatsu and Love Live I'd say you were an old man trapped in a young girl's body."

"What? I'm an individual, I can like different things."

"I know that, you're just so unpredictable, with your interest in things that are way mature for you and then there are things that suit you..."

"I'm glad she's unique, if she were a 'normal' girl, she'd be boring… Actually I've never heard of those series. Don't tell me you've grown out of Sanrio and Disney!"

"You can never be too old for Disney and cute things, onee-chan."

"Few! I don't know if I would've been able to cope with you suddenly changing from the little girl I once knew."

"You're so sentimental, onee-chan!"

"What? You're like a daughter to me."

"Even though I'm your sister?"

"The past six years have gone by so fast, but you've stayed consistent."

"You mean stubborn."

"She's strong willed!"

"She's always criticising the 'youth of today' as if she's looking at them subjectively, from the outside, in fact-"

"So what, I like to complain."

"You refuse to learn how to use computers."

"In my day we wrote things down on paper, played outside instead of online and talked face to human face."

"There you go again with your strange nature, I've heard enough out of you for one night, get to bed."

"But!"

"No, 'ifs' no 'buts! Am I gonna have to warn you again?"

"No sir!"

"That's what I thought and where do you think _you're_ going?"

"I just wanted to wash this stuff off my face, it's irritating my skin. I really wanna rub my eyes."

"I thought you wanted to see how you looked."

"Oops, I forgot."

"You're so ditzy Kaori-chan." She teases, playfully.

"What does that mean?"

"I'd say it means you're easily distracted and your thoughts are a bit higgledy-piggledy."

"I suppose I am then. I don't think clearly sometimes..."

"It least you're alright when you put your mind to it with exams and that, but you're a bit impressionable."

"How?"

"You nearly went down the wrong path, remember?"

"Oh yeah! I met my best friends doing that, though…"

"You always see the good in everything. Never change that view on things. Just don't ever let yourself get pressured into anything you don't want to do."

"I'll try to keep that in mind."

"It's not always a good idea to focus on not letting people down, if you end up getting hurt. We're just lucky you managed to escape the Yankee lifestyle."

 _I know nothing would have made me happier than following Wataru in everything he does… I've always felt the need to stay by his side… Even before I understood why…_

"Sometimes it's really hard to do that."

"Just follow your instincts, as long as the outcome makes you happy."

"Deal. I can at least do that much."

"Here's the mirror."

"Thank you… Woah! I look like a different person. What have you done to me? This is unbelievable! How do you do it? You really are skilled, I can barely see myself through the disguise."

"It's make up and I hardly used any, In was mainly guess work but I'm happy with the end product. I wish I had the skill to do something a bit more creative with your hair..."

 _Is she saying she's got future plans!?_

"Do you want me to change your phone background?"

"Yes please."

"Smile." She takes a photo using his mobile phone camera.

"Can you show me how please?"

"It's too late, I've done it."

"Ok, please may I have my phone."

"Since you asked so nicely, yeah. I almost sent the picture to your favourite senpai."

"I'm glad you didn't... Wait who do you think my favourite is?


	128. Chapter 128

"Mizusawa?"

"No, I spend the most time with my favourite senpai."

"Azuma-kun!? I'm glad it's him. He's my favourite out of all the guys you spend time with too." She hugs him and sends him off to bed, he stops and turns around.

"It's still a picture of me."

"Yes, I updated it." He frowns. "Like you said you look like a different person, dare I say a different woman! You could be a pinup, that is a much more flattering photo of you."

"I don't know what you mean by that but it's too late to argue. I'm glad you enjoyed your birthday, good night."

"Night."

"Wait, she'll get in a mood with me if you mess up her tutu, can I have it back please?"

"Ok." He starts shamelessly removed the tutu, in front of his sister when he remembers to be more aware of his current state of undress.

 _Oops, I almost let her see the bump... That was a close one. How could I forget?_ He turns and carefully removes his sister's treasured garment before handing it to her.

"You're so shy Kaori-chan. You need to have more confidence." He thinks back to the time when his anatomy was previously exposed.

 _What did she say to explain it before?_

"I don't want you to see my flat chest."

"I can see a bit of development, it's not over yet." She lies.

"I don't think so, how would you know?"

"I at least know that this isn't something you need to concern yourself with. Your body is the way it is and you have to be the first person to accept it otherwise how can you expect anyone to look past your flaws? If you yourself are so fixated on them?"

"That's good advice, I told Kyoko-chan something like that earlier today."

"What's she worried about?"

"She thinks she needs makeup to be beautiful and I couldn't disagree with her any more than I do... I think she is over it now. Poor Kyoko-chan, letting the way people view her affect the way she lives her life.."

"You should take your own advice then."

"I'll try..."

"Turn and face me."

"No, you don't understand."

"I didn't think you were a coward, Kaori-chan."

"I'll face you, if you pass me that towel over there."

"I'm not going to laugh in your face again."

"It's not about that,"

"Do it."

"Do you know what peer pressure is? Because it's happening right now."

"I'm glad you know what it is, so you can avoid it in future."

"Can I go, please?"

"Yeah, I'm proud of you."

"What have I done?"

"You stood up to me and didn't think about letting me down, when I was bullying you into doing something you didn't want to."

 _I was trying not to let her down by breaking character, the thing I didn't want to do was show my front side...I didn't think there was a possible way to make her happy in that situation, but I somehow found it by persevering..._

"That was a bit of a conundrum."

"You can say that again, those tights are still clean, I can wear them on Monday."

"It's fine, I do the laundry, one more pair won't hurt."

"I buy the washing powder I know there's no need to be too liberal with it." He starts to automatically do as he's told when, he has a sudden realisation.

"That means I have to take the swimming costume off as well."

"You weren't planning on wearing it to bed were you?"

"No, what was I thinking?" He keeps his back towards her he takes off the rest of his clothes.

"I didn't know briefs could be so flattering on such slender backside. I suppose it doesn't matter how are you display it as long as you've got the goods. Is that part of the reason behind you dressing as a boy all the time Kaori-chan?"

"It's just the way I feel more comfortable, it's like you and your dresses. I'd rather be wearing trousers."

"I will never understand your style, you are so otherwise blessed in looks."

"Ok… Good night nice spending time with you once again."

"I enjoyed it too, come back again, you'll always be my favourite sister. Night!"

"Night." She sees him out, before her little sister comes back, ready for bed. He leaves and sighs a breath of relief as he realises he's finally able to wash their makeup off his face and be himself.


	129. Chapter 129

**Since my Easter half term starts to day, we'll call it a double.**

The following night, Wataru comes over as was planned and they all have dinner together. Regular conversation ensues when the youngest has a sudden recollection. They all listen intently because being is so insightful and attentive, what he has to say is usually the most interesting. "I saw a pretty girl with hardly any clothes on yesterday."

"You're a really honest boy, but can I just ask where you saw her?" Imouto-san is shocked, but she'd rather not show it and have her little brother think he's in trouble.

 _At least he did the right thing by coming clean… He's right and should be praised for his honesty or he could end up being more reluctant to do it in future..._

"I was at home."

"How did you find her?"

"I was getting a glass of water from the kitchen and I saw her on my way back to our room."

 _Why did I even pay attention? As if anything that exciting good ever happened in our house. I doubt he's spinning tall tales, but if it was at night, he probably just dreamed that happened…_ The middle brother sighs to himself.

"But she was dressed?"

"She was wearing nothing but underwear." The girls share a laugh and Nippori covers his face. Wataru finds it difficult to follow what's going on as their father grins to himself.

 _I didn't think he had it in him, he seemed so incredibly shy last night… I can at least rely on my youngest son, to be honest about everything that goes on in this house he's such a little grass, but he is a parent's dream child... Not that I'd have been capable of raising him to that standard without the kids being there to support me..._

"What happened? Am I'm missing something?"

"Shh, I'll tell you later."

"I'm not going to ask any further questions as a father, it's none my business as long as you stay safe."

 _What is he talking about? Did the girls tell him what we got up to? I'm so mortified._

Nippori still hasn't looked up but Wataru stealthily slips his hand into his, under the table, for support. At this point in their relationship, he has no doubts about his loyalty and assumes there is a more logical explanation.

 _So, something did go down? I wish he woke me up now..._

"What was she doing and where was she?" The middle son asks.

 _It's all my fault, it all adds up now. Just as I thought, he wouldn't tell fibs I knew she was coming but I still kept away… What could I have even said to her anyway?_

"She was in the hallway." The memories of what happened on the previous night all come flooding back in a blur. "She told me to shush and... She knew my name!... She was folding her arms, like this." He folds his arms over his chest, to illustrate. "And I don't remember the rest because I was half asleep."

 _A topless girl!?_

"Where was I during all this!?"

"I suspect that you were you were either reading or gaming… Maybe you should come out of your bedroom more often…" Imouto-san retorts.

"Don't tempt me with naked girls I'll start camping in the hallway."

 _If only he knew the truth behind his fantasy! I'm gonna tease him about it!_

"What are you some kind of hentai!?"

"Calm down I'm sure all boys his age are curious about that sort of thing."

"Please don't get into that conversation dad, I'm begging you. This whole house is full of weirdos, how can anyone discuss that sort of thing so openly?"

"Calm your farm!"

"Yeah don't get your knickers in a twist just because you're a big fat hentai."

"Don't get involved you don't even know what a hentai is."

"Isn't Franky a hentai?"

"I'm not having this conversation with a nine year old girl, not now, not ever."

"We're just kidding, you're too occupied with other things to be a hentai."

"It's not like you to apologise.

"I never said sorry y-"

"Ok, that's enough picking on him for one night. You two are relentless." Says Nippori, finally uncovering his still blushing face.

"So, you finally came out of hiding?" He feels more able to cope with the torment with Wataru, it took quite a lot of guts for him to stand up for his brother. "So are you going to say what happened last night?"

"I thought it was obvious, you're just making it worse."

"I don't think dad fully understands." He looks to Wataru, who keeps firm and reassuring grip of his hand, this gives him the willpower to not give in to his sister's persistent teasing.

"I think you might never see Kaori again if you carry on."

 _Woah, that's unlike him…. I suppose he feels a lot more confident with a friend there… I suppose he can't be seen to look weak in front of his favourite senpai… I was harsh… I should have thought about his ego…_

"Soz."

"It's alright I forgive you." They finish eating peacefully after that and once everything is tidy, their dad is off to work and they boys are in their room the fun can really begin.


	130. Chapter 130

"I've just put him to bed, it's seven… Two hours should be long enough to watch a film."

"I did not arrange a sleepover for us to sit around in silence and watch a film, being antisocial."

"What would you like to do, in two hours?"

"We are not going to sleep at nine on a weekend." Her younger sister shows her agreement by doing a guts pose. "Not you." Imouto-san adds and she huffs. "He doesn't make _you_ go to bed at nine does he?" She asks Wataru.

"Sort of."

"Once, he made me stay up till midnight!"

"He banged his head on the toilet floor."

"But I was fine."

"He went a bit loopy." Imouto-san laughs.

"See, this is what I want."

"What?"

"I want to chat and find out what you do get up to, let's nip to the corner shop."

"And leave those two alone?"

"You were left alone when you were ten, with four younger siblings."

"Yeah, but I don't know if he's responsible enough."

"They're fine, he's six and asleep, they won't even know we're gone." They all leave after putting their coats on they get onto the street.

"Don't hold my left hand, hold my right, what if a car comes off the road and onto the pavement? You stay on the inside." He instructs and she listens because she understands the logic behind his protectiveness. They walk away hand in hand and Wataru starts some small talk with Imouto-san.

"He takes good care of you guys, doesn't he?"

"He tries his best."

"Why aren't you walking?"

"Take my hand."

"Eh? When I was fifteen I wouldn't have been seen dead holding my mum's hand, to walk to the shop."

"Yeah, but I'm a girl, I need you to protect me." She lies, hoping to appeal to his heroic side.

"I don't think that's true."

"Please~"

"If life has taught me anything, it's that girls are as strong, if not stronger than men."

 _I know my mum is way stronger than me… Literally and metaphorically. I know that word? Gross, I'm thinking…He really did teach me..._

 _He's good… Arguing against my pitiful attempt at manipulating his emotions… It's not as if I could never convince anyone I was weak... I've just got to go in for the kill and take my 'prey'. It's a bit archaic to think I should just wait for him to come to me…_

"You're right but, what would Keiji say, if you let his little sister get hit by a car? I know he's really forgiving but could anyone forgive that?"

 _What if he doesn't want to speak to me!?_ Wataru takes her hand.

 _Got him!_ They continue towards the shop, engaging in light conversation. She pretends to be interested in everything he says and laughs flirtatiously, without paying full attention to what he's saying. They end up being stopped.

"Oi, Nippori!" Wataru looks around and spots a small girl.

"Oh, I forgot your name's Nippori too."

"Hi, where did you find this guy?"

"He's a friend of my brother."

"Really!? How old is he?"

"Last year of high school."

"So, this is why you blew us off and didn't let us have a sleepover?"

"You know it."

"He's hot!"

"Actually it's a bit chilly."

 _I see he's a little bit dimwitted... I've heard the phrase that God doesn't give with both hands... I can quite clearly see that it all went to his face…_ She looks him up and down, blatantly. _And body, but I don't know how she did it…_

"Don't interrupt my conversation, Azuma-kun."

"You've got him under control, I see?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

"I've got to get going, enjoy your date!"

"This isn't a date."

"Whatever you say handsome."

 _So, this is how it feels to be judged based on your looks? I didn't like that one bit! I feel like the thoughts and ideas I had in my head weren't valued at all… How can anyone cope with that? I feel so unappreciated as an individual... Nippori really is stronger than he looks… Having your overall worth evaluated based on the outer shell makes you feel so empty inside... No wonder some people are shallow…_

"That was weird, what makes her think we're on a date?"

"It's probably because were a boy and a girl, alone in public." They step into the corner shop

Wataru is too confused to try to work out what's going on so, he shrugs it off.


	131. Chapter 131

"You guys took your time."

"Show respect for your elders young lady!"

"What happened?" Nippori asks.

"We were stopped by my friend."

"Yeah and the funny thing is they thought we were on a date!"

"Don't touch my sister!"

"She _told_ me to hold her hand."

 _So now his protective side comes out?... This role reversal actually makes sense rather than I, a younger sister protecting her older brother from boys… It's laughable now that I look back on it... I wonder what he thinks you have to worry about, I'm not vulnerable in any way shape or form... I wonder if he's got a reputation?... All the girls after him and he chooses me!? He must be popular with those looks, forget if he doesn't have half a brain…_ She gets lost in her fantasy as Nippori pulls Wataru aside.

"Don't touch her."

"Both?"

"No, just the big one."

 _I think she wants something from him…_

"Why?"

"Because a lot of people don't understand when things are just platonic."

"Which is?"

"Friendship with no romance, plus family… So, the bottom line is don't be too touchy feely because unfortunately, it starts rumours and spreads gossip."

 _So, that's what that girl was thinking and why I felt so... I can't even put into words, that was just too much for me to take. Nippori is really strong, I can be too. How he put up with Kyoko yesterday, I'll never know…_ Wataru picks up and snaps a cucumber from the nearby display.

"I thought you stopped breaking things."

"Sorry, people's judgement makes the madder than anything else."

"Either way we've got to buy that now."

"So, what you're trying to say is, I have to act a certain way or it'll come back to haunt me?"

"Yep."

"So, I have to change my behaviour so other people don't get the wrong idea!? That's annoying!"

"I know it is, I had to explain something like that to Kyoko yesterday."

"Your sister is alright, I liked talking her, she gets all my jokes."

"I didn't know you made jokes."

"I don't but she finds everything I say funny..."

 _There's definitely something fishy going on here…_ They walk back over to Nippori's sisters.

"You, broke that cucumber, Azuma-kun are you angry?"

"Yeah." She reaches out to take his hand.

"I can't hold your hand anymore, sorry."

 _Oh~ Maybe he does like me?_

"Well done for standing still while we had our grown-up talk."

 _He wouldn't be saying that if he knew how much of a kleptomaniac I was I can get away with so much in plain sight… No one even thinks to look at me twice… Maniacal laugh..._

"Don't talk down to me, I'm not a dog. And don't compliment every little 'good' thing I do."

 _I read somewhere that if you reward good behaviour they wanna do more… And if I ignore the bad behaviour there's only attention given for good… Which I mean she should end up being good... I'm confused… She's so different, the youngest is an absolute saint… Probably because Hinako practically raised him herself… Maybe a little bit of punishment goes a long way... I've failed her by being too lenient… She's too advanced for child psychology…If there's anything I'm sure it's that I'm glad she's different…_

"Standing still is common sense, I don't have any money and if I ran off, I could get lost."

"You're right, sorry."

"Don't apologise to her, she needs to change her attitude. He praised you, say 'thank you'."

"Thank you."

 _She did it!? I knew Hinako was right… Ever since she started calling me Keiji, I get the feeling she doesn't respect me… It's not as if I've ever doubted Hinako was the true authority figure... I just can't bring myself to be that harsh... I'll just keep being like a friend to her… Hinako is the one that makes her well rounded... She just proved she knows how to behave, she's just selective about when and where..._ While Nippori is busy thinking bout how to make her behave, she bends down and nonchalantly unties Wataru's shoelaces.

"Why are you picking on our guest?"

"I don't know if I like him yet."

"He's the only one that's been nice to you all day."

"He could be faking it to appeal to Keiji."

"Why would he do that?"

"I don't know probably the _same_ reason you're trying to appeal to him."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"How could _you_ know what _I_ know?"

"It's no big deal. It didn't hurt, you don't need to argue."

"You see, other people let her get away with everything including him." She points at Nippori. "And that's why she never learns."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."

"No don't worry, both of you just leave him alone he's not used to any of this, he's an only child."

"No wonder he took you under his wing, he's so thoughtful."

"I haven't always been, Ke- Nippori changed me."

"Aww~ You must be the best friend he's ever had."

"He's more than my friend."

"I thought as much." Says the younger one knowingly.

"That's just too cute, he's like your 'brother from another mother'!"

"Something like that." They make their purchase and leave the shop, on the walk back Nippori and Wataru each take one of the little sister's hands and she swings between them.

"That's a bit high, Aniki."

"No no! I wanna go higher! Can I, Azuma-nii?"

"'I want never gets'." She blows a raspberry at him.

 _It worked for Hinako…_

"Azuma-nii, don't listen to him."

"I'm not sure..."

 _At least he listens to me..._

"Pretty please with a cherry on top!~"

"Ok, let's do it."

 _She's so skilled at manipulation… She's really good at what she does, at least I know I'm not so cute that no one can resist letting me have my way, like her…_

"'Those who can't hear shall feel'."

"What does that mean?"

"I think maybe... You're such an adrenaline junkie that one day you'll be careless and get yourself hurt?"

"Keiji, if you're gonna quote someone at least understand what it means."

"What does it mean?"

"In means, if you don't do as you're told _when_ I tell you to, I'll hit you and then you feel it."

"Oops, that's not what I meant."

"I know it's not, that's why she walks all over you."

"Yeah, that sounds about right, we both do. Your so unthreatening, once a person gets to know you."

"I get you, he's quite timid isn't he?"

"I couldn't disagree more I think he's well strong." He challenges them as they both gang up on Nippori.

"At least I can rely on you to back me up."

"Always." They fist bump each other.


	132. Chapter 132

At the house, they all take showers and change into their pyjamas in preparation for the sleepover activities, once they finally assemble together in one room Hinako takes charge. "Can you sit down, please? I've got you a surprise." She produces three ambiguous sachets. "Ta da! They were three for a hundred yen, it's a bargain!"

"What are they?"

"Can I have the strawberry one, please?"

"Ok."

"Then can I have the vanilla, please?"

"What about me?" The younger girl feels a bit left out.

"It's not food." The three sigh in unison. "You're not old enough for this, but you can help. Why don't you cut thin slices of cucumber."

"So, the cucumber came in handy?... Are sure you can trust her with a knife?"

"She's not _that_ untrustworthy."

"No, I think he means, what if she has an accident?" Says Nippori.

"She's not as clumsy as you."

"Yeah but..."

"If she messes about, she'll learn the hard way."

"That's irresponsible."

"Isn't it a lesson for life?" They turn around and see her in the middle of a risky game of stabbing the space between her fingers.

"Careful!"

"I'll have you know, I'm very skilled with a knife. Give me a flip knife, I'll show you a thing or two."

"No thanks, just concentrate on what you're doing." Hinako approaches Wataru and takes hold of what would have been his signature quiff, if he hadn't washed it earlier. She ties all of the hair that covers his face into a bobble.

"That's the look! It really suits you, like Shuji from 'Nobuta wo produce'!" He blinks at her. "Eh, you haven't seen it? It's a drama where..." Having come to the conclusion that his sister is adept at using a knife Nippori is finally comfortable enough to resume the conversation with Wataru and his sister.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking the hair out of his eyes."

"Why?"

"Because he just washed his hair and I don't want to get it dirty, silly!" Nippori frowns, the inconsistency of her tone of voice worries him.

 _She normally calls me an idiot, who's she trying to impress with those gentle words?..._

"Don't worry, you're next."

"I wasn't thinking about that."

"What were you thinking about?"

"How weirdly nice you're being. If it's because we have a guest, don't worry, he doesn't mind you being your normal myself."

"Do you think I am behaving strangely, Azuma-kun?"

"No."

"Good, now close your eyes and relax."

"Ok." She squeezes a blob of the ready made face mask onto her finger from the packet and smears it on his face, making a nice neat outline. She does it ever so slowly and occasionally returns to the packet for a top up.

"How does it feel, Azuma-kun?"

"It's a bit sticky."

"Don't open your eyes, it's nearly done. Pass us the cucumber, please."

"'Please'? since when did you know how to use manners." She slaps her wrist then shoos her away. She places with sliced cucumber over his eyes before moving onto Nippori. She Starts by tying his hair up in the same way, then she empties the packet into her hand and carelessly spreads it all over his face. She repeats the process on her own face and then they sit in silence, which is interrupted by the younger sister asking.

"What now?"

"We wait for it to peel off."

"That'll take ages."

"You're so impatient but ok we'll do something else."

"But I can't see."

"Take the cucumber slices off Keiji."

"Of course, silly me."

"I bought some snacks at the shop. We've got crisps and that, but what I wanted to show you this interesting game some of the girls at middle school like to play, from time to time, with these."

"Pocky?"

"Yeah, haven't you ever tried it? It's not for the faint of heart I'm warning you, you might not want to play it Keiji."

"I'm not a coward, how does it work?"


	133. Chapter 133

"You take one and you put one end in your mouth and one end in your friend's mouth. Do it with me."

"Gross, what's in it for me?" Says the smaller girl.

"You get chocolate and it's a test to see how daring you are."

"Don't get your drool on me."

"I'm your sister, we've got the same germs."

"Ok, I'm gonna get more than you, three, two, one go." They do it and luckily for them, it breaks before they make contact.

"Yeah, so that's how it's done, do you want to try, Azuma-kun?"

"Ok, I'll give it a go." They line up the Pocky and slowly nibble on it, Wataru is much less competitive than the younger sister and Hinako doesn't want to seem greedy.

"Oh, you chickened out of the last second. You challenge Keiji now then, she'll take on the winner, out of you two."

"Ok, Aniki are you ready? Get set go!" The pair bite it much faster this time and neither of them have any reservations about going through with it.

"Oh~ It looks like a tie! Your lips were this close!" She indicates with her fingers, which are practically touching. "She wins by default since it was a draw."

"I knew she'd win, since she's actually the most daring in real life."

"All the chocolate is mine now!"

"Who said it was a bet?"

"When I asked what was it in for me, you said I'd get chocolate." Hinako signs and she grins triumphantly before saying. "Have you got any pop?"

"Yeah get the glasses we can all have some Ramune."

"You've only got two bottles."

"They were two for one so we're going to have to share."

"Can I have one to myself, since I won."

"Three people to one bottle?"

"I don't like fizzy drinks, you can have my half." Says Nippori.

"Thanks." Hinako serves anyone and when she sits down, she says.

"The next thing I've bought is this."

"A boxed hamburger?"

"Open it and see!~"

"I don't see how we can possibly make a burger and chips that looks like the ones on the packet out of all this powder and a little bit of water."

"Until you've tried ' _Kracie Poppin' Cookin' Happy Kitchen'_ , you haven't lived."

"You're nine, you literally haven't lived."

"Stop patronising me, anyway Azuma-nii, we always get a new kit when it comes out."

"Five siblings share one box?"

"We're not rich and the boys don't take any notice."

"Haven't you ever tried it, Nippori?"

"I'm a boy."

"Only some of the time." She teases. "Ignore him Azuma-nii, it's just me and her that've tried every kit at least once and this one is just a classic."

"I cook real food, why would I want to cook pretend food?"

"Don't act mature just because your friend's here, Keiji."

 _When you see how his sister's treat him there's no wonder he's got a little complex about being weak..._

"Sorry, but it _is_ fake."

"Don't you know how this works? It's real, at least it is edible. Not like Konapun. You know Keiji, I'm sure even little kids know not to taste Konapun."

"Ok, now's your chance to show me what it's all about. I'm still not comfortable with you calling me Keiji."

"So, this is a sleepover do you want to do something more traditional?" She changes the subject.

"What do you suggest?"

"Scary stories?"

"If we're telling scary stories we should turn off the lights and light our faces up with a torch." Wataru reaches out under the table to give Nippori's hand a reassuring squeeze, he keeps hold of it as he speaks up, to support his love.

"True scary stories shouldn't need lights to add to the scary atmosphere."

"He's right and we don't have any batteries in the torch, it needs watch batteries and I don't know how to find them. You know, the circle ones."

"You mean cylinder, they're not two D, you know."

"Eh? Azuma-nii are you good at maths?"

"He's amazing at it."

"Woah! That's a good skill. You can really go places with that."

 _I suppose being good at maths doesn't necessarily make you good at conversation… I bet he's capable of getting a high paid job! I severely missed judged him, he's more than just arm candy, he could make good husband material…_

"I'll see if we can find some, but we can't turn the light off for now."

"Boo!" She sulks.

"Get over it. It's not as if we can make a DIY kit in the dark."

"Let's go in order of scariness, so Keiji you go first and I'll go last, you two decide the order between yourselves."

"My scary story is about the time when I was nearly late for my exam…" He pauses for dramatic effect and the others look unamused. "The bus was due at thirty seven minutes past eleven, I got there at eleven thirty six. I was relieved to have made it on time, but it didn't turn up until forty eight minutes past. I was upset about that, but everything got worse when another bus came just before it! So, when I put my hand out the driver didn't see me and he drove away." They assume the story is over but there's still more. "Then… He looked right at me, I called out to him! 'I need this bus!' I frantically shook my arm in front of him and I could see that a woman was trying to get off... He didn't let her get off! After seeing me he drove around the bus and I thought he was going to stop, because he was slowing down I chased after him and then he continued to drive on."

 _The story wasn't even that long… But it dragged on so much… I'm glad it's over… I've never had an exam... How could my brother find that scary!?_

"The next bus was due and eleven fifty two, did it turn up?"

Rhetorical questions don't make this story any less dull...

"No, I had to wait until twelve oh seven. I got on that bus, even though my exam started at one thirty! I was freaking out."

 _This story needs to be put to an end!_

"This is a rubbish story, we know you're gonna make it. You said you were 'nearly late' for Pete's sake."

 _She's got no delicacy, but I'm glad she said what everyone was thinking._

"I made it, but with ten minutes to spare and that's not like me... It's not a true story it was based on a nightmare because I'm always there at eight forty five, if not earlier."

"Have you been having a lot of nightmares recently?"

"Not really, just odd ones about the things that worry me. The thing is I walk, so that should have been the first clue…"

"That's what dreams are like you jump about from place to place without knowing how you got there."

"I wish I'd known about that, before I woke myself up out of the dream to check the time."

"Speaking of time, put theses trays in the microwave for thirty seconds." As Nippori gets up to follow his sister's orders, he finally lets Wataru's hand go. They were able to maintain the contact because Wataru is left handed and didn't need his right hand to get involved and Nippori is the opposite. "Who's gonna tell the next story?"


	134. Chapter 134

"I will. This is about how I ended up tumbling. I was failing and predicted not to graduate."

"Really? That must have been tough!"

"I know, it was my fault for not trying hard enough at the time… I say 'I was failing' but I don't know if I've passed yet. The scary thing was that all the teachers started ganging up on me. They expected me to put effort into revision and get my act together."

"I see."

"Yeah, they were right to do it but who knows how effective it was. I never did anything extracurricular and they say I wouldn't be able to pass my second year without additional credits, because of the grades, so joining a club was compulsory."

"That's so uncool!"

"I know, so obviously I chose to join a sports team."

"That's the better option..."

"I go to loads of clubs, there was even a point before I started working that I had an activity every evening."

"Yeah, exactly look at you so uncool! With your pineapple hair and face mask."

"He's got one."

"It matches his hair, and look at him, he could pull off any look. What were you saying Azuma-kun?"

 _She's so biased against me…_

"It all got worse when I was rejected from every team but one. The team I was avoiding!"

"That's the worst!"

"No actually, I ended up finding a place to belong, since they welcomed me plus Nippori, Kiyama and Ryosuke came with me. It just showed me who my real friends were and the error of my ways."

"Yeah we were such delinquents before, I forget sometimes."

"You didn't do much. You were just there by my side wherever I went and that's the way I like it. Making this change would have been impossible if you guys didn't support me through it." Nippori hugs him.

"The bromance is strong, but I'm not scared, let me show you a real scary story. As you guys all know I'm one of two girls in a house of a mainly boys. Personally, I don't get scared very easily so, I can't give an example from my real life. I'm going to make a truly scary story based on things that scare you."

"I'd rather not share my fears with the likes of you, you'll just find a way to use them against me."

"Hinako's right." Says Nippori.

"I've got nothing to worry about I'm not scared of anything apart from something happening to the people I care about. I don't think you can use that against me." Says Wataru.

"That's a really mature thing to say."

"It's true."

"Keiji, you can whisper your thing to me, I won't tell her."

"I'd rather not."

"What do you think of girls?"

"I can see that they go through so much…"

"And?"

"They're the most scary people I know."

"What girls do _you_ know?

"You two for starters."

"Siblings?"

"Then there's his mum and Kyoko."

"You're scared of my mum?"

 _I could probably add her to the list, myself..._

"No, because she loves me."

"She's a bit tight."

"True."

"Ok, I've got one, Kaori-chan gets sent to an all girl school!"

"Who's Kaori?" He whispers into Nippori's ear.

"Do you remember that photo?" He whispers and Wataru nods. "Well, my sister is trying to pick on me again by bringing up the name of my onee kyra."

 _I don't think they would accept me into an all girls school..._

"That would never work."

"This is fiction remember, anything I say can happen in a story. Don't tell me, you're already scared?"

"It's bad enough changing school, but leaving behind all the friends you spent ages making to be surrounded by girls. I'd be so shy!"

"It gets worse! It's a boarding school you can't go home and see your family!"

"I get it. No, more please."

"You will have to hide your identity! So, every day you have to pretend to someone you're not."

"Come on, this story isn't scary for everyone."

"No, one will like you because it's a rich school and you're only there on a means tested scholarship."

"I don't think how much money I have would bother them that much, I know I can make female friends I've done it before."

"In my story, you have no one to talk to and no way to escape!"

"I could read or listen to music."

"You really think I'd give you a nightmare scenario that was that flawed? The school is in England."

"Like Hogwarts?"

"No like St Trinians with no rules and constant conflict."

"So, it's just anarchy?"

"Either way, even if you could make friends they live in England, so you would have nothing in common to talk about, since you only know about Japanese stuff." Nippori gasps. "You'll have to rely on subjects like boys, gossip, makeup and all those menial things that just drive you and me both up the wall. Even if you had the confidence to start a conversation everything you said and everything you heard would just be a tedious dialogue about things that couldn't care less about."

"I'm sure there are English anime fans or Nintendo fans who like things like Pokemon and that."

"You're really hopeful, aren't you? I like the way your optimism makes it difficult to break your spirit, but let's just say they're hard to come by. Have you ever heard of 'EastEnders'?"

"Who?"

"Exactly, try asking them if they never heard of 'Zetsuen no tempest'. I bet they know the original they probably know all about Shakespeare since that's where he comes from. you have no common interests and a background that's completely different to everyone else so you can't relate about anything."

"I'd rather not hear any more."

"That's just tough that's not how scary stories work. Have you ever heard of Prison School?"

"What? You read that!? I told you to stay out of my collection!"

"Ssh, you're ruining the suspense. Anyway, so it's a boarding school and you know that there comes a time in the day where you have to shower."

"I don't like where this is going."

"It's an all girl school they wouldn't see any need to waste time on having cubicles or two separate facilities for boys and girls... That's right it's communal." She laughs maniacally.

"I wouldn't take a shower in those conditions."

"Yeah you have that option, but the outcome is you smell bad and everyone knows it and you get picked on even more."

"Can I just ask why you'd wanna send me to that school?"

"Ermm... It's private so they give you a big enough bursary to pay the mortgage, because you're on a scholarship."

"You think fast."

"Obviously. I'm an evil genius!"

"An _arrogant_ evil genius."


	135. Chapter 135

"Where was I? So you get caught and you get tortured."

"Eh? I've never heard of a teacher that would do that, wouldn't I just be sent home?"

"Remember this is fiction, so whatever I want can happen and I say that there's an underground student council that takes your infiltration very seriously and doesn't make the teachers aware of their plot since you were honest and explained your situation they say you are allowed to attend your lessons during the day but in exchange you have to do as they say. As the only boy they don't isolate or ignore you they're fascinated so they all want a piece of you and you get so much attention. You're never alone and you'll never see a friend or any family you're just suffocated by people you can't fully understand 'll have to suppress any strong emotions and you can't react to anything in the way you want to. You can't tell people the reasons behind your feelings for the sake of your family and fear of rejection. There's a good chance that you could lose out on your career and future happiness because of the situation that you can't escape despite all the attention it's the loneliest place."

"Woah, now you've gone and done it, you shocked him so much that he's not even ashamed to cuddle up to his senpai."

"It didn't take much Keiji, there wasn't even any blood or guts, no violence, no real action."

"I don't know how you did it but somehow you managed to work in almost every single one of my insecurities that was a trip that you just took me on there! It felt way too close to reality."

"I think my work is done here, seriously there is no way you can top that."

"I'll take you up on that challenge, if we're targeting individual people, I think I'm going to target you and you can be a better judge of what's scary and what's not."

"Yeah, bring it on, son. I'd like to see you try. Nothing scares me."

"Oh yeah? I know of at least one thing."

"If the story is gonna be on her level of scary I don't know how I'm going to be able to sit through it."

"Don't worry just like no one else on this table found your specific story scary no one but her is going to find her specific story scary"

"Few."

"I was eleven, it was a Thursday in February when I got the curse~"

"Shut up."

 _It's having effects on her already?_

"I'll never forget that fateful day..."

"That's enough scary stories for one night!"

"I never thought I'd hear you say that."

"What's 'the curse'?"

"I don't know but it's spooky, there was a stain on her bed and I asked her about it. Then she said it was _the curse_ and that it would happen to me."

"On second thoughts I don't want to hear about it. Not if it's rea- Wait, if it's real that means you two could be in trouble are you ok Hinako? Is it something I have to worry about?"

"Bless your little cotton socks, you worry too much Keiji." Says the youngest.

"I don't need to hear that coming from you."

"Even if she is small she's right you worry a lot, about small things. It's no big deal I'll tell you later Keiji."

"Woah, you did it! These burgers exactly like it looks on their packets with chips _and_ a drink too! that really was a surprise how do they get such things into the boxes and powders and packets!? I'm just fascinated! Is this the future of food?"

"No it's just a novelty, it's making it that makes it interesting, why don't you have it since it's your first go, you and Keiji can finish it."

"I'm not sure I've heard rumours about eating after a certain time."

"Can you stop being such that goody two shoes for once, that's just an old wives tale." He does as he's told as is his nature to do so.

"How does it taste?"

"Not perfect, but still remarkable."

"I agree, it's really innovative."

"Nobody asked you."

"Sorry."

 _I know he's terrific but is my opinion really not worth hearing?_ Wataru pats his shoulder empathetically. Nippori smiles, feeling as though someone is on his side, at long last.

"Ow, it's hard to smile with this face mask on."

"Then it's time to peel it off."

"Let me help you with yours Azuma-nii!" She beams up at him innocently and he shrugs. She starts at the edge just below his hairline and appears to be doing it gently but she really digs her fingernails into his forehead then rips it clean of his face in one fell swoop. Wataru is in too much shock to even make a sound. It makes Nippori's eyes water.

"Are you alright, Azuma-kun, that looked painful."

"I'm fine, it just stings a bit."

"Say sorry."

"Soz."

"It's nothing."

"Ok, shall we call it a night with all the hair and beauty." They all listen to Hinako and start to follow her into her room wearing pyjamas. "Come to think of it, I've never seen the inside of your room."

"Why would you want to see his bedroom, that's not where we're staying."

"Eh? You don't mind if we invade your personal space?"

"It's not personal, I share it."

"No, but I mean we're two boys."

"What kind of sleepover happens in separate rooms? We aren't gonna share a bed, you know? You two'll be on the floor, if not, what you normally do on the weekend?"

"If that's how it's going to be, his bedroom's at least worth a look."

"Come on then Aniki." They open the door and walk in. If Wataru didn't know Nippori as well as he did, he would have been shocked by how immaculate it is. "As you can see everything has its place. I don't leave things lying around willy-nilly, but the big one is not that concerned with cleanliness."

 _I suppose I can look forward to having a clean house in the future... Not that I don't want to do my part, I can't leave all the work to him... It's better to share because it's unfair to leave all domestic tasks to one person... That's why I started to tidy my own room... So he doesn't feel uncomfortable in it. I'm happy as long as he's happy and it doesn't feel like a chore when I'm helping him… I just wanna find new ways to express my love…_

"Let's go to my room." They finally do and the youngest bounds in after them.


	136. Chapter 136

They make it to the house in record time and against Mori's will, his mother absolutely refuses to let Hani leave without feeding him. That evening they sit around the table.

"I bought you all omiyage!~"

"You didn't have to do that."

"But I wanted to since you're letting me stay over."

"I never agreed to that." He whispers agitatedly. Hani smiles and ignores him. "My parents haven't agreed either, you're such a cheeky little sod, just because everyone welcomes you doesn't mean does you belong here."

"It's nothing much, but please take it." He bows and gives Mori's mother a box of imported Belgian chocolates and then his dad a bottle of very expensive sake. "And this is for you." He gives Mori's little sister a silver tiara.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! You didn't have to buy something like this."

"Of course I did, you're a princess and every princess deserves a tiara." She hugs him and Hani makes direct eye contact with Mori the whole time. "And I've saved the best for last."

"For pity's sake."

"Don't be so ungrateful."

"It looks like it's gonna be something stupidly expensive and I don't wanna owe him."

"Come on, open it."

"Yeah, we're all waiting."

"It'd mean a lot to me, if you liked it~" Mori opens the gift box.

"What is this?"

"It's a necklace!~ Or if that's not cool enough for you, you can call it a chain! It looks like silver but it's actually platinum! You can put it on and never take it off! It's super duper unreactive."

"I can't accept this,"

"No, let me put it on you."

"I'd rather not, you take it back."

"Takashi, don't be rude!"

"He's being rude by buying me something, I didn't ask for that, I can't even reciprocate. I don't wanna be indebted to him."

"You're being too prideful, just accept it."

"It's my treat, I swear. You don't have to give me anything in return, ok? Just be nice to me."

"I'm not making any promises, just take it back."

"Are you rejecting me? Do you _really_ not want me here?" He stares at him, eyes welling up.

"You _know_ I don't."

"Takashi, I didn't think you could be this unkind to anyone!"

"He hates me!" Hani cries and Mori's little sister holds his hand and try to cheer him up.

"Go to your room Takashi!"

"With pleasure." He stands up to walk away and slams the necklace onto the table. "You can't buy me!" Then he leaves. He's left by himself to have a long hard think about how he behaved until his mother sends Hani in. Mori sits on the bed, reading and he skips into the room as if nothing had happened.

"Obviously I stayed for dessert, but after that, I begged your mum not to ground you. You can come out now, so long as you don't cause any trouble, for me. The condition is that you wear this."

"No, I won't wear something that you bought me, the statement still stands, you can't buy my compliance. I don't wanna owe you anything."

"Fine then, you can think long and hard about what you've done."

"I didn't do anything."

"That's subjective, isn't it?"

"Give me the damned thing."

"No, let me put it on you." He kneels on the bed behind Mori and fastens it around his neck. "So, this is what it's like being taller than you?" He whispers then licks Mori's neck.

"Don't be gross just because I won't scream."

"Well you're mine, whether you like it or not and I'll damn well do as I please."

"No no, as you said that necklace means nothing. I'm just accepting it because it's quite nice, I like it and it grants me my freedom. If it pleases you, that is just a bonus, not my intention."

"I probably like you more than I should." He runs his hand through Mori's hair and caresses the side of his face. "You're no way near as scary as you look and I look nowhere near as scary as I am."

"We're polar opposites."

"They say opposites attract."

"As in male and female."

"What are you trying to suggest!?"

"I could ask you the same question."

"Takashi don't be silly, it's like this. You're kind and gentle, I'm the opposite of that."

"Cruel and scheming?"

"Exactly that."

"I feel like those opposites are way too extreme and don't make a good combination at all."

"You're dark and chiseled."

"You're capable of being bright but that's just a front as far as I've seen, you're round but what does appearance have to do with anything? I tell you nothing, especially in our cases."

"Your attributes work for me and if mine don't work for you it's just tough." He grabs Mori's shoulder and uses it for leverage as he climbs off the bed. He takes Mori's hand and pulls him up to standing, he makes it look easier than it actually is with his height and muscle mass Mori-senpai easily weighs twice as much as Hani-senpai.

"It does look super pretty on you!~"

 _I wonder if he'll ever grow out of his obsession with pretty sparkly things… No amount of tack could ever make me pretty…_ He puts his cheek on Mori's chest and pulls him close Mori holds him in response.

 _He must be seeking some sort of reconciliation…_ Hani slips both of the palms of his hands right over Mori's firm cheeks and gives them a squeeze.

"Let me take you out for a cup of coffee tomorrow."

"I'm busy. I've got to wake up at half seven tomorrow for a piano lesson."

"What about the fight! I mean forget the fight... I thought you played the harp."

"It is possible to play more than one instrument…"

"So, the piano is private? You _never_ talk about it."

"You're really getting off track, but what matters is that I'm busy tomorrow."

"But I want to treat you, you're being so good right now~ I'm going to buy you something. What do you want?"

"Nothing."

"Ok, then I'll come to your lesson and then take you out."

"Why?"

"I think you deserve it."

"Get lost. My exam is in three weeks."

"What grade?"

"Seven."

"Why don't you like me?"

"You're a horrible person."

"I'm glad you can see that, but why won't you come out? It's going to be the blackest nastiest coffee you've ever seen, it'll be so strong, it'll be a paste."

"That doesn't sound very appetising."

"Well, how should I know what 'good' coffee taste like? I like my sweet things sweet. The more sugar the better."

"The sweeter the sicklier."

"What do you think syrup is?"

"It's a sugar paste?"

"And it's delicious." He lets go of Mori's backside and takes hold of his hand, then leads him out of the room with a smile on his face.

"You put icing on a cake to make it sweeter what do you put on coffee?"

"Nothing it's just bitter unless you like it weaker or sweeter." He rejects Hani's hand holding and goes to fetch his books. They sit together at the table.


	137. Chapter 137

"Has white stuff ever come out of your _you know what_?"

"This isn't my truth or dare."

"Stop being so shy, it's normal."

"That's never happened to me before."

 _Oops, I might have embarrassed him in front of his senpai… I don't wanna have to put him back together again, so I'll try not to break him this time…_

"But it will eventually, you don't need kids yet. I wish my puberty started later."

"Why?"

"It's not as if I need periods right now. Do you what know one is?"

"No."

"Do you remember me telling you what Mizusawa said was almost right?"

"Yeah,"

"Well, the womb lining is where a fertilised egg attaches and grows into a baby."

"How does it get fertilised?"

"How do you know about meiosis and not how it starts?"

"That just involves chromosomes and male and female gametes."

"You don't know how they come together in the first place? So, you don't have the fundamental basis for this process?" He shakes his head. "The most basic thing?"

"So how does get in?"

 _I thought I understood until now…_

"Through the vagina, which is where the other womb lining comes out if the egg isn't fertilised."

"Ok."

"It hurts too. That's 'the curse'."

"Oh, why didn't you tell me? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, my blood and guts only get broken down and leak out once a month. I'm cool, for now… Are you being sick?"

"No, but I felt like I might. I don't need to know about blood and guts, that's too much truth."

"Yeah, me neither."

"I didn't think the likes of you would be grossed out by a little period."

"A peripod?"

"A period."

 _Wataru, why can't use words properly? You're so dumb! It's cute._

"Are you disgusted?"

"No, nothing disgusts me."

"And you?"

"Why would I be disgusted? Nature is like that, beautiful, perfectly designed to be practical even if it's not pretty, it does its job. I'd just rather not go into detail with things like that." He thinks for a moment. "Why do I need to know all of this?"

"You've got a girlfriend now."

"So, that stuff is none of my business."

 _From the fact she never mentioned it I assume it probably doesn't bother her like it bothers my sister…_

"You can't react like that in front of her."

"Like what?"

"Getting upset and dry heaving."

"Oh."

"It'll break her heart."

"Sorry, did I do that to you?"

"No, how do you think I reacted to finding all this out for myself?"

"And you stayed quiet about it the whole time?" He hugs her. "If it ever gets too much for you, you have to tell me."

"I'm already used to it."

"But I already feel guilty for not knowing before."

"I knew it was coming, because you were there for me so I could turn up to school. I'll always be grateful to you for that. I planned and prepared myself, I had to."

"Did you feel lost? Like you had nowhere to turn to? For the first time since mum was gone?"

 _She I was scared to tell me, like I'm scared of the dark... Because nothing is constant, things were changing and there was no mum… If she can get over that, maybe I can get over the dark? I'll try my best to avoid it, but if I'm stuck it I'll try to cope without complaining... I could be over it… Last time I didn't really react to it… Even if I'm not over the dark, I can still tell her my fears… She told me her problems today and she felt better… There's no point hiding it. If she knows I'm being serious, she definitely won't laugh._

"You're such a patient and respectful older brother, I've never told you this but, it means a lot."

"No problem, if there's anything else you think could help me understand you better let me know."

"It also really messes up my mood!"

"If ever you feel like crying, you should come to me and we'll cry together."

"Aw! You should say that to Kyoko-chan, it'd melt her heart."

"I don't wanna melt her heart."

"It's a figure of speech, I'm saying she'd be happy."

"Why would I pre-rehearse lines and not mean what I say? That's really insincere. You're my sister, I want you to understand that you can come to me about anything."

"That's sweet of you, but it's a personal thing and you didn't get it at the time."

"I get it, now you've told me. What I don't get is why you hid it. If anything started suddenly leaking out of me I would've had to tell someone."

"I'm sure you would, you'd probably freak out and think it was some kind of medical emergency." She teases.

 _He's so innocent…_

"You know me so well!"

"I should've known I could come to you."

"Well, you know now."

"Yeah, but I was so silly. I forced you to let me do the shopping not because I didn't want you to spend all my money but so I could buy a certain grocery item in secret." The boys nod along, as if they understand what she's talking about. "They're so expensive, you know? Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Have you ever seen a vagina?"

"Eh? Are you on about the triangle thing?"

"Well yeah, but there's a lot more to it."

"Really?"

"How do you think a baby comes out?"

"Don't they cut you open? Mum showed me the scar you came out of, she said it was an emergency ce ce cera..."

"Cesarean?" He nods.

"Because you were being strangled somehow, I remember how scared I was."

"You were like three."

"Then it's my earliest memory."

"Speaking of early, didn't you come early?"

"I try to be at least on time for everything."

"No, you were born prematurely. That doesn't have to affect your development, but it might explain a few things."

"Like what?"

"How slow you are."

"He's not slow, I'm slow."

"No, you're not, you just take time." Wataru shrugs. "I meant on the outside, not the inside."

"Oh."

"You might never grow to your genetic potential because of some environmental factors."

"I see, but there's still time. That's what Satoshi told me."

"You have a really positive outlook on life, don't you?"

"I try to... I know some people have an even harder time, so I should be thankful for what I've got. First and foremost, that I'm alive."

"You're right. I dare you to..."

"You didn't even give him a choice and he just had a go." Wataru comes to the defence of his love, recklessly, unaware of the scorn of Hinako.

"This is her party, she gets to make up whatever rules she likes."

"Thanks, you're right. I just decided to make you do both, because this relates to the truth." He shuffles closer to Wataru, his secure base. "Where was I? Oh yeah, I dare you to go and bring me a magazine from dad's sock drawer."

"How do you know there's a magazine in there? I do the laundry."

"When my best friend told me what she found, I went looking."

"Ok, it's not a big deal." He leaves them alone together.

"This is Kaori-chan."

"When was this picture taken?"

"Last night. I was thinking of sending it to Mizusawa."

"Don't he's a Hentai."

"I knew it."

"That guy really grinds my gears. He doesn't care what he says, Nippori he told me you chased him out the house with a frying pan, serves him right. We're supposed to be friends but I'd have knocked him out by now, if I didn't promise not to get into any more fights… He's so arrogant, it's like he fears no one."

"Tell me about it!"

"I'm sad I missed Kaori-chan."

"We can get her out if you like, Keiji does whatever I say."

"Nah, it's not worth the hassle. What are the boys doing?"

"The youngest is asleep and the other one became really antisocial recently. I think he's going through the change."

"Isn't he a bit young?"

"He's in middle school."

"Not that one, the menopause my Biology teacher's always going on about her hot flushes... I think she goes into a bit too much detail about her life in lessons... I'm usually in my own world though... I probably wouldn't have learnt anything even if I paid attention."

"That one's the same, he's probably reading right now. Thanks for lending every shonen jump you ever buy to Keiji. They both always try to read them within the week, even the youngest likes looking at the pictures."

"I'm glad I could help. He can have them if he likes. Nippori only gives them back because he doesn't want to feel like he owes me… Is that a football medal over there?"

"Yeah."

"Wow, well done!"

 _I've got him right where I want him…_

"You're my kind of girl! You're independent, you do things without being scared to be different and you almost beat Mizusawa up! This sleepover was worth it."

"Great! Do you have a girlfriend, like Keiji?"

"No, I don't think I want one either."

"Why not?"

"I don't understand them."

"You can try."

"I'm not the type that likes to try."

"You're great the way you are."

"Now that I think of it, there is this one girl… She always talks to me..."

"Do you like her?"

"Not really."

"Good 'cos I don't like the sound of her." She laughs, moves closer to Wataru and it's at that moment that Nippori burst in and splits the two apart, thoughtlessly sitting between them.

"I must've never heard you properly laugh, you just snorted, like a pig."She slaps him.

"Don't compare me to a pig, Keiji!"

"Sorry, that just exactly what it sounded like."

 _I'll get him back for that! He was totally within my reach!_

"That's a gravure idol magazine, I don't think there's going to be much in there..." She flicks through and stops on a fold out page. "I think you'll wanna see this."


	138. Chapter 138

"Why, what is it?"

"A picture of a fanny."

"Is that a euphemism?"

"No, it's just a synonym."

"Oh, I get you."

"It's not very close up, but it's there."

"I don't really think I'm missing out on anything, thanks." He looks to Wataru for reassurance and he shrugs. "What's up?"

"I haven't understood anything either of you've said since you came back from the dare."

"Really?"

"It's because I'm slow."

"Stop labelling yourself like that. You've got a lot of potential."

"Not me."

"You're just acting like you've got an external locus of control."

"I'll pretend what you just said make sense."

"You can't keep doing that, otherwise you'll never learn. In the future, ask questions until you understand."

"But I don't want to hold up the lesson, if everyone else gets it..."

"That's really thoughtful of you, but what you need to know is there'll definitely be others thinking the same thing."

"No."

"Yes and when someone is brave enough to put their hand up and ask the question on everyone's mind they all feel relieved and respect you more for it." Nippori says all this while patting Wataru's back supportively.

"I love watching you two interact, you make each other better people!"

"I think you're probably right."

"Thanks, Keiji. Are you gonna peek?

"I still don't think I'm missing out on anything, but I'm morbidly curious… It's kind of a double edged blade, I sometimes see interesting things, but then again you come across terrifying things that you can't unsee."

"So go on then."

"I'll have a look." He turns the page and screams at the top of his lungs before diving onto Wataru's lap and burying his face into his chest. He is comforted by his heat and the soothing rhythm of his beating heart. At the same time, the youngest sister looks up from her colouring book and thinks to herself.

Oh no, they started the torture without me! She sighs and picks up a yellow colouring pencil to fill in Rilakkuma's ears.

Meanwhile, Wataru strokes Nippori's hair.

Wataru's paying a lot of attention to Keiji…

"Azuma-kun~"

"Yeah."

"You don't seem as shocked."

"I was, the first time I saw one…"

 _Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhh!?_ Thinks Hinako, as her eyes widen.

"Ryosuke showed me a picture to see if I was as freaked out as he was."

 _Those two are so close I can tell Keiji trusts him... So, he really does have a gentle side. despite the way he looks?... A man that can take care of others… Ah~ I really do have good taste…_

"Oi, Keiji, look at me… Are you alright?" He nods, tentatively. It seems as though Wataru has become too concerned with Nippori's well-being to observe the general formality of using his family name.

 _I must have inspired him to switch to a first name basis, because I kept saying Keiji's name... I was never able to compete with him for looks... And now!... Now I can't even compete with him for attention... Even in this situation… It can't be helped, a big strong guy like Wataru must be able to make anyone feel secure... He just shamelessly jumped into his lap like a wounded puppy he must be really shocked, the poor thing… Now I'm feeling sorry for him…_

"Look at me, are you crying?"

"No."

"Lift up your face."

"I'm comfortable." He protests. He breathes in deeply, tries to forget what he just saw, appreciating Wataru's smell and the familiarity of his touch. _Caring is a really good characteristic… I get it, who on earth would be able to resist taking care of my completely helpless brother? He's so charming…_ Wataru manages to tease Nippori out of hiding and lift his chin up. He looks worried and still hasn't let go of Wataru, he cranes his head around to his sister.

"Why did you let me see that?"

"I thought you were curious."

"Yeah, but that's... I don't even have the words to describe, that's out of order."

"Well, that's nature and sometimes it isn't pretty."

"Well, I know that, now." Nippori shudders at the thought. "I found some DVDs that looked a bit like that and showed them to the guys to see if they knew what they were all about, but you guys called me names, so I put them back and never mentioned them again. Thank goodness I never got any more curious about them… I had no idea they'd have something like that inside… I'll _never_ get the appeal of horror and paying to get scared like that."

"Yes, Keiji these are all just horror."

 _You don't need to know anything about the true purpose of this kind of material…_

"Why is that her job?"

"She wants money."

"Yeah, but why does dad keep that sort of magazine?"

"I think that's something else you're yet to understand."

"I don't think I want to."

"Don't you wanna do 'it'?"

"You ask too many questions… Kyoko was right when she said I didn't want to know the details of what happens between a boy and a _girl_."

"Oh, I forgot she tried to 'seduce' you, didn't she?" He sits up to re-engage in the conversation.

"Yeah, but she was so sorry when she found out I wasn't interested."

 _What a gentleman!... Not taking advantage of that... I would probably have been disappointed otherwise… He's a really sensitive guy anyone would be lucky to have him…_

"Let's get the little one back in, it's her turn." Wataru interrupts, considerately thinking of how to prevent the conversation from getting onto topics that upset Nippori, again.

"I'll go get her."

"Actually, one more dirty question, forgetting the game."

"Fine, but I'm going to put that magazine back where it belongs… Where I can't see it and I don't have to think about it… And she can come back since this is her bedroom too."

"Have you ever had an erection?"

"Erm..."

"Go on."

"I don't know what that means so, I'm gonna say no."

 _So nothing actually happened at the ice cream shop with Kyoko?_

"What about you Azuma-kun?"

 _Is she using me to get to him?_

"Yeah..."

 _He looks nervous, he knows what I'm on about…_

"...I have I'm sure we both have..."

 _In fact, I know we both have, he must not know that it's another word for bokki…_

 _I don't think he gets Keiji's stage of development..._

"When was your first?"

"When I was thirteen."

"Ok, that's it, end of discussion." Nippori gets up to return the magazine and bring back his sister.


	139. Chapter 139

"What did you find out Ke… Erm Onii-chan?"

"You'll find out eventually, then you'll be disappointed."

"And grossed out Ke… Nippori was nearly sick."

"That sounds like my cup of tea! He's really squeamish."

"It's your turn."

"Oh good, dare me!"

"You're so committed to the game, you haven't had a single truth."

"Fine, I'll do both."

"If you could do anything and get away with it what would it be?"

"I'd rob a bank… Since you put me outside for so long, you owe me one free bit of mischief, with no penalty."

"You're not entitled to anything, stop trying to bargain."

"Let her."

"She's not as sweet as she looks, sounds or acts. The chances are she's already done something and wants to be let off or worse she's saving it for something really big."

"Give her a chance."

 _I know what it's like to be misjudged..._

"You're so kind and trusting, you don't even know what she's capable of."

"Thanks for sticking up for me, Azuma-nii." She flutters her eyelashes and Hinako mimes throwing up before giving in.

"You get your free mischief, but you have to go to bed."

"But."

"No 'if's no 'but's!"

"Fine but..."

"You said 'but'!"

"You guys are awake, so I'll get under the covers and not sleep."

"You won't last long. I've shared this room with you your whole life and you sleep so well that as a baby you had to be woken up for night feeds and _even_ then you fell asleep during."

"He falls asleep easily too."

"Yeah, I worked out that these two are really similar, despite how much the personalities contrast."

"Can you stop talking about us as if we're not in the room? You flirt!" Slap.

"Oh, are you alright?"

"Don't sympathise with her."

"Yeah Keiji, what do you take me for? A wimp!?"

"Don't talk to your older brother like that young lady!"

"You do it all the time!"

"Do you see what I'm talking about?"

"If I had a little sister, she'd have to be like you! You're so unpredictable, what a character!"

"You can see the good in anyone, can't you? I think she just wants attention."

"Oi! You don't know me and you don't get to decide what I want to do. Azuma-nii, she's wrong about me. I'm not plotting anything. I've recently taken and evil sabbatical, so I'm just acting on instinct… No plots, no schemes Even _I_ don't know what's coming next… To be honest, I've always wanted to hit someone, without having to hold back for fear of committing manslaughter… Since you're the only one man enough to take it..." No one objects. "...Do you mind?"

"Not at all."

"Wait, don't hit him!"

"Why, do you think he'll bruise?" She winds up her arm in preparation for a big swing.

"No, you end up hurting your hand, he's got those rectangles thingies!"

"You mean these?" He lifts up his Pikmin t-shirt and Hinako's eyes widen as she takes in the magnificent sight.

"What did Kyoko say they were called? Abs? Oh yeah, abs. I haven't got any but his belly isn't very soft."

"Did Kyoko comment on your lack of muscle definition?"

"No, she was telling me about his and how it looks like you could open a bottle on them."

"I don't like the way he treats you, but she's not wrong… Can I have a feel?"

"I don't see why not."

 _He still doesn't know what flirting is… My sister's bad… At least if she's into him, she won't end up being used like Kyoko… That was my main fear, but I had no reason to worry, she's still my sister, who's special…_

"Do your pecs move?" She caresses his chest.

"What?"

"Your man boobs." He points in question.

"I've never tried, do yours move?"

"That's dirty!" She slaps his cheek, playfully.

"Ok, move aside now it's my turn to beat him up." She pushes the doting Hinako away and takes a swing at Wataru's exposed abs.

"Aw! You got me!" He chokes out, clutching his ribs and curling over into the foetal position. He gasps for breath.

"Wow, I've got a really strong little sister! High five, well done!" Wataru winks at Nippori.

 _He's even good with kids…_ Thinks Hinako, who gets the hint.

"Yay! Now I can go to sleep happy!"

"Aren't you gonna say sorry? He can barely breathe." Nippori is convinced by Wataru's weak acting skills.

"That's where I wanted him." She walks over and pats him on the back. "Are you ok?"

"No." She kicks him repeatedly.

"Good 'cos that's what we do with punks that get in the way of business!"

"Ahhh, somebody help me!"

"Get off him." She is restrained by a concerned Nippori, she still kicks while being pulled away.

"Ok, ok, I'm cool." She helps Wataru up. "You're a good sport… Sneak attack!"

"Oh no, you got me again! It hurts so much!... I'm going to have to fight back!" He sweeps her up off her feet and lifts her high above his head. She doesn't feel threatened at all and just laughs.

"Are you gonna throw me?"

"I don't think the police would accept it if I told them you started it."

"Oh please, I wouldn't press charges, what kind of petty enemy do you take me for? I'd just come to your house in the night and exact my revenge!" He threatens to throw her, but ends up putting back down gently.

"Don't take me lightly! You're all open! If we're enemies I think you should take me seriously, you're already aware of some of the things I can do... So many weak spots, I don't know where to start!" She tries to uppercut him and whacks him right in a really sensitive area. He drops to his knees hands, defensively over the groin as is typical of people when that area is attacked. He doesn't speak, but he's really knocked off guard, his eyes water and she considers it to be her victory and strikes another guts pose.

"What is it with you and attacking the guest?"

"I don't know, I just feel like he's my rival for some reason."

"What rival it the competition for Keiji's attention?"

"I'm not an attention seeker. I like being rough! You don't mind, do you, Azuma-nii?" Her eyes sparkle as she says this and the dimple in her cheeks become even more pronounced.

"I really don't mind." He chokes out.

 _Her and those looks! She needs to be taught a lesson, because everyone I know just lets her get away with anything..._

"See, he's alive I haven't killed him yet! He's standing back up for more! You haven't had enough yet have you, Azuma-nii? Let's spill some blood tonight!" She runs at him.

"Not so fast, that's enough fighting for one night." He lifts her up again and stops her in her tracks. "You said she was heavy, she's light as a feather." He lifts her above his head like a barbell and she loves it.

 _Strong and good with kids?… He'd definitely be the fun parent. He couldn't be any more different to my weakling brother.._.

 _So this is what it's like to have siblings? There's so much more to it. They may fight a lot but that's entertaining. I think I could get used to a big family…_

"We're complete opposites, aren't we? You've got a big family and when I go home it's just me and my mum. There are all these other people in your house, but I'm just on my own... I'm glad I get to see the best of both worlds thanks to you."

"You weren't here when they were babies."

"Don't listen to her they've always been great."

"It's a shame the youngest isn't awake, for you to see how a _normal_ child behaves." She stares at her sister who shrugs her shoulders indifferently.

"You're just saying that because you raised him."

"Is it wrong to be proud? You have to admit it turned out so well, he's an absolute saint!"

"More like a goody two shoes!" Says the youngest.

"I like him that way..." Nippori argues.

"It gives us some balance to offset... Let's just say your charisma."

"You know what, I've always wanted to try? Stabbing someone!"

"No. There you go again."

"Just a little slice."

"You're taking bloody liberties, now march yourself out that door and when you come back you better've brushed your teeth! I'll check and don't just put the paste in your mouth and spit, 'cos I'll know!"

"'Well _excuse_ me, princess'!" She does as she's told.

"So, that what it's like being a 'pseudo-parent'?" Asks Wataru.

"A what?"

"You know, how we take care of the kids but we're not their mum and dad?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I coined the the phrase."

"I see."

"It's actually kind of fun, I didn't think girls found that kind of thing fun."

"You just haven't met the right kind of girl yet."

"I'm still not too keen."

"I'm a fun girl… Pillow fight!"


	140. Chapter 140

Hinako wallops Nippori.

"Ow!" He rubs his face. "Can you leave me out of this please?"

"How do you win at a pillow fight?" Asks Wataru.

"You don't, it's like a snowball fight, no one gets hurt but you still attack each other."

"Like this?"

"You're too gentle, hit me harder."

"Make sure you stop when you know who walks in, she's been violent enough for one night."

"Ah! Wataru, you're so strong!"

"You're using his _name_?"

"Keiji relax~"

"Your voice seems a bit higher pitched than normal..." She launches another pillow at him and then the youngest comes in and climbs the ladder to her bunk bed while yawning. Hinako laughs to herself, knowingly.

"Are you three gonna keep playing? Actually, I said I was gonna do both but I never did any decent dares."

"Shame, well you can't get out of bed now so sweet dreams." She sticks her tongue out in response, throws herself onto the bed and starts sulking.

 _I don't care what she does now, as long as she's asleep in the next ten minutes... I wanna pay Keiji back for what he did before... Disrupting our bonding session!..._

"I dare you to..."

 _So she's just gonna ignore me?_ Thinks the youngest.

"Fine, if I can't get out of bed, give me another truth to make up for it."

"I've got one."

"Ok, ask away Azuma-nii!"

"What's one thing you wish you could do, but can't?" Hinako interrupts.

"Be serious, nothing to do with breaking the law."

"I don't care about the law, it wouldn't be as fun to break the law if the rules don't apply to me."

"Fine, but choose something a normal child would."

"Don't say things like that to her, it could damage her confidence. Remember there's no such thing as normal."

"What did I say about patronising me, Keiji!?"

"Sorry."

"Stop apologising to her, she's being rude. Anyway, answer the question in a more _typical_ way."

"Fine, I've always wanted to learn how to ride a bike."

"You're nine and you don't know how to ride a bike?"

"I don't own one."

"I've probably got a smaller one laying around somewhere I can give you. I'm going to have to come over and teach you in the summer."

"Thanks, Azuma-nii you're the best big bro a girl could ask for!"

"Eh!?" Shrieks Nippori.

"You're the best sister!"

"But!"

 _Now, I'm just confused…_ Wataru doesn't ask bout the thing he doesn't understand, as usual.

"Goodnight, I'm definitely gonna have sweet dreams now… I can't wait for my bike!"

"Good night, I don't wanna hear another peep out of you."

She gets under the covers.

 _Now where was I?... Ah yes, Payback time!_

"Keiji I dare you to..."

"It's not something else embarrassing is it?"

 _He must be able to see the evil look in my eye… He's going down... I know I love him, but right now sibling rivalry is getting the better of me and he's like my mortal enemy..._

"Pull your pants down and turn around as fast as you can*."

"It's cold."

"So, what I dared you."

"I didn't think girls were supposed to see boys naked."

"You won't be naked and she still shares baths."

"Yeah but."

"What?"

"I don't have to accept every dare. I can just lose and drop out."

"You're right, you don't have to do anything I say, but you still owe me."

"You really are cruel." The younger girl whispers from her top bunk.

 _Even I'm wondering what he did to deserve this..._

"What about him?"

"He's a boy too."

 _There's a fine line between peer pressure and bullying... I'm going to have to do this without him getting upset again… He's definitely self-conscious, maybe he's ashamed to let his favourite Senpai see that… If he ends up cuddling up to Wataru again I lose to him… If he laughs that creates tension, I can use that to my advantage…_

"I don't think I can deal with seeing that."

 _I can't get a boner right now…_ Hinako decides to try reverse psychology.

"It's fine, sit down get back in your sleeping bag, silly me, thinking that my wet blanket of a brother would be daring enough to do something so outgoing." He does it and Wataru covers his eyes as a precaution.

Drat, the plan didn't work out... Hinako decides they should all go to bed not long after that.

Author's note

*This is based on an actual event when a boy slept over and we shared a room, but my big sister is crueller so she said. "I didn't see it, do it again." Whatever age they were at the time he was young enough to keep falling for it until she was bored.


	141. Chapter 141

Nippori managed to fall into a deep slumber before his sister turned the lights off but his sleep seems to be disturbed and he rolls around restlessly. He's sleeping but makes a lot of noise as he moans in his sleep. Wataru quickly becomes aware of his distress and tries to comfort him. He crouches down beside him and plants a kiss on his cheek. He can taste the subtle saltiness of his tear streaked cheeks. He places his hand on the pillow and feels a damp patch. Wataru's heart starts racing out of sympathy, since he instinctively wants to do everything he can to prevent his love from being upset.

 _I doubt he'll want to keep sleeping through this…_ He gently wakes him up. Nippori pants and his eyes shoot open. He feels lost and alone so he reaches out. He feels Wataru close to him and feels safer, instantly. He pulls him close and clutches him tightly.

"Nii-chan I had a bad dream." Wataru takes him into his arms.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, but I'm just really scared right now." Wataru pulls him closer still and runs his fingers through his hair. "You being with me is making it all better."

"Sorry, now that I'm up, I need the toilet." Wataru gets to his feet and heads for the door.

"Nii-chan, don't leave me." He starts to get worried but Wataru realises and tries to stop him from getting too upset.

"I'll be back in a tick."

"I'll come with you." Wataru helps him up.

"Nii-chan, don't let go, I need you." He whimpers. Wataru gets a firm hold of Nippori's waist and they walk side by side. Wataru's supportiveness gives him comfort and security. They make it to the toilet and Wataru goes to flip the light switch. "Nii-chan wait, don't turn the light on."

"Why not? I thought you didn't like the dark."

"The walls are paper thin and whenever you turn the lights on the air conditioner automatically switches on and makes a loud noise that could wake up my little brother. He's good at taking care of himself, so he probably won't get up out of bed, I just don't wanna disturb him."

"That's a very _you_ thing to do." Wataru keeps a hold of his hand while he uses the toilet. The sound sets Nippori off and suddenly his bladder wants to do the same.

"Nii-chan, I need it too… But I can't see."

"How do you do this normally?"

"I sleep with the lights on every night so, when I open my bedroom door the light floods into the hallway and gives me a chance to see what's going on even in the toilet."

"I go to the toilet in the dark all the time. It's just like in the day, except you have to imagine where to aim."

"I don't wanna make a mess."

"Let me help you. You can see it just about, can't you? It's your house, you should at least have an idea of where abouts it is. It's not too hard I do it at home every time I wake up. So you start…" He stands behind Nippori and holds the shaft of his penis between his thumb and forefinger.

"Ah~ Nii-chan..." He gasps at Wataru's gentle touch.

"And when you hear the splash you know you're in the right place so you can just hold it still."

Wataru licks his lips as he gently massages the silky smooth virgin foreskin between two fingers. This is his first time touching it without it being hard, but to him, this experience is incredibly erotic. It practically screams to be rolled between his pink, plump, puckered lips, he just wants to savour it, like the delicacy that it is, surely it won't be long until Nippori squirms and yields under the torment, calling out his name as he 's efforts seem to be fruitless, sadly for him, Nippori isn't thinking about that. He's too concerned with other things, as his thoughts turn from fear of the dark, to relieving his bladder, to not wanting to make a mess.

"You're not holding it still, you're just rubbing it."

"I'm trying to get it going." He says truthfully.

"I don't feel confident enough to do it." Wataru nibbles his ear lobe, seductively. "We already did Etchi stuff this week isn't once a week good enough?"

"Actually zero times a week is fine as long as I get to see your face and hear your voice at least once a day. Smelling your smells and touching your skin is just a bonus the real treat is being in your presence." He absentmindedly continues to fondle Nippori.

"Woah~ Steady on, if you're not careful I'll get a Bokki." He kisses him.

"Why don't you close your eyes?"

"I can't now that I've seen that disturbing image, if I close my eyes I can't get it out of my head."

"I'll try my best to help with that too." He gets to his knees.

"Nii-chan, not here."

"Then were? You can't get any privacy in this house."

"I don't _need_ you to do that."

"Your body's telling me otherwise." He darts out his tongue which makes Nippori convulse.

"Ah~ Nii-chan~ Wait! I might not be able to make it stop."

"Stop worrying,"

"I can't, that's just what I do."

 _What if someone hears or we get caught? I've never had a bokki at home before… I'm glad I was distracted up until now it would have been so hard to explain…_

"You were so carefree yesterday."

"I think it must've been the sugaaaar~" He puts his hand over his mouth.

"I can stop if you like..."

"N-N-No, nii-chan,"

 _We should… To be sensible… I can't let my body take over my brain..._

"Nii-chan... I can't think straight when it's like this." Wataru takes his hand and he feels less lost and confused. "Please, help me nii-chan."

"Anytime." He gobbles up the entirety of Nippori's little bean pole right down to the balls and his knees start to knock as the waves of orgasm pulse through his body. He chokes back a squeal and Wataru can't help but stifle a laugh at the expression on his face. The vibrations from his vocal chords give a different, more intense sensation and he grips the back of Wataru's head.

"Ah~" He tries to keep the volume of his voice low. "Nii-chan~ Iku!" He sinks his teeth into the knuckle of his right fist and shudders as he collapses to his knees on the floor with Wataru. Wataru kisses him before he opens his eyes.

"Do you feel better?"

"I always feel better when you're around, except the times that I don't, but that's not your fault."

"You make mine hard too. But it's nowhere near as easily excited as yours, I wonder if you'll ever get over that. "

"I hope so, it's such a nuisance... I can just about see the toilet, with the moonlight!..."

"Your eyes must have adjusted and you didn't notice. Do you wanna try again?"

"Yeah, I'm not as worried now. I still need you." Wataru stands behind him and lines up Nippori with the toilet when he is reminded about his neglectfulness. "Oh!"

"Oops, I didn't mean to poke you with that. I must've forgot it was there."

 _So much has changed since I first felt that poke me there… I definitely didn't see any of this coming… I'm gonna marry him in a year's time… But we've got a lot of work to do before then… That reminds me I need to speak to the head teacher… I hope he passes but if not he might be a ronin or a freeter… I love him, but I can't let him settle for that…_ Wataru finds he has more patience with Nippori than with anyone else and lets him preoccupy himself with thoughts of the future.

"Keiji, I thought you could do this… I'm right behind you…" He inches closer to let him feel his warmth. When he doesn't reply he lays a myriad of light kisses on his cheek and neck from behind.


	142. Chapter 142

He finds his hand absentmindedly playing with Nippori's now flaccid penis. "Shall we count down? Keiji? Keiji?"

"Oh! Sorry I was distracted. Erm, I'm sorry."

"Were you worrying again?"

"Yeah, but not about this."

"Good! I sometimes get distracted too… Do you wanna give it a go?"

"Ok, three, two, one..."

"Nothing happened."

"I think it maybe because you're just using one hand and my trousers aren't all the way down which is the way I normally do it." Wataru tries his bests to meet Nippori's requirements quickly.

"How's this?"

"Eh? Nii-chan, I can feel your..."

"Don't worry about it."

"Oh, nii-chan, let me help you." He turns around and kisses Wataru, ravenously. He puts his hand down his trousers and he gasps for breath.

"Mmm… Keiji..." Nippori pushes him backwards slowly until he bashes into and sits on the bath. He kneels on the bath mat in front of Wataru and exposes his throbbing penis which springs out and slaps his toned abdomen with a thwack. He takes it into his mouth and takes his own into his hand, simultaneously. He lowers his mouth to the point where he chokes. Wataru gasps and he smiles up at him. "Don't push yourself, I can feel your passion and it's the thought that counts."

"But, nii-chan..."

"As long as you're doing it with love, it feels great!" He pats Nippori on the head affectionately.

"I can take it."

"The last thing I want to do is hurt you and if you hurt yourself for my sake I won't forgive myself."

 _Woah, he's a lot more sensitive now... I remember that time when he punished me…_ The memory sends a shiver down Nippori's spine. _He's changed so much… He's careful and caring now… But I'm getting tougher! I hope we both find a balance, at the very least we're helping each other..._ Nippori tries to admire Wataru's effortless masculinity without being envious of it. He doesn't know whether to be pleased or disheartened by Wataru's sudden awareness of his fragility, though, he can't help but feel grateful that he didn't start off gentle due to pity.

 _He always forgives me for being a bit too rough... I've never deserved him, I've got to at least make some effort to make his time bit more pleasant... He reminded me yesterday of how careless I've been in the past… I'm sure he can't see how much better he could do than me. To make it worth his while I'll just have to improve myself in every way… Whether I'm kinder or cleverer! If that's even a word… I wanna be my best self for his sake because it's our future and we will be together... No matter what the issue, I don't want to be the cause, I want to be the solution... I can't fail him anymore._ The only way to finally move past this is to talk about it.

"So, you're telling me I can't do it, even if I want to?"

"You can do it as often as you like, just don't injure yourself for my sake, 'cos if I let you do it, it's my fault."

"But I made the choice."

 _Woah this is astonishing! He's gone from not being concerned, to being indifferent, to being hypersensitive to my feelings… He's really developed emotionally!… Kind of like with me, it's been like forever since I last cried in front of him, probably because he's always there to pick me up when I fall… Forgetting yesterday, it's not as bad as it was, I'm sure… I've improved… I'm sure it takes more to set me off now… He's saying a lot of nice things now but I'll show him by resisting the urge to cry... It wasn't long ago when he thoughtlessly sat and watched his mum make me feel while eating ice_ _c_ _ream or even before that when I'd end up with a new injury a week… Back then I'm sure the idea that his recklessness could cause me to get injured never crossed his mind. Now look at him, he's really come a long way... Though I do kinda miss his roughness… I got hard when he punished me and I enjoyed experimenting in the bath. Even if his guiltiness makes it seem like it was 'suffering' I enjoyed myself... There is such a thing as being too careful... I don't know if I can get used to it..._

"It's still my responsibility to stop you from being reckless, because I can see what you can't I've got to keep you safe in any way that I can."

 _I want him to realise that the reason I've recently been crying less easily is because he's mainly there to prevent it… So, he's really helped me a lot. They were mainly happy tears... I just need to let him know I'm not as sensitive as I was... I get why he doesn't believe me and he told me yesterday that he blames himself for everything. I don't want him to be too gentle. I'm not weak… In fact, I've liked it even since that first time he shoved me into that accessible toilet for show… It just excites me… At least I know he didn't assume I was weak… He got that impression from experience… I'm gonna have to prove I'm not like that anymore…_

"The only reason I was sensitive about being weak or being called weak and the reason it was my insecurity is because I actually was, you've helped me to get stronger."

"Like how I didn't like being called an idiot then you helped me to study and I _know_ I was?"

"Yeah, you don't really have so many difficulties with not being able to get your words out anymore. So, you don't have to worry about me getting injured."

"I think that I should keep be careful, because I don't want to be reckless. I said I worried about you getting hurt too much. But my main issue is that when I'm not careful, I end up being the one hurting you. It happens too often, that's the reason I'm guilty. How can I make that up to?"

"These things happen, don't blame yourself I'm already over it. All of my time with you is fun anyway. I'm fine, watch!" Nippori's eyes water as he pushes himself up to and beyond his limits which Wataru immediately becomes aware of.

"You don't need to force it so far down."

"I'm not doing it because I have to, I'm doing it because I want to. I thought we said we'd talk about our feelings and be honest when we did this sort of thing."

"We did and what I'm thinking is that I want you to be ok."

"I will be. I'm not as weak as I look, you know?"

"I never said that and that couldn't be further from the way I feel."

"Then let me, I want you to feel at least a little bit as good as I felt."


	143. Chapter 143

"It's not all about how _I_ feel."

"It's not about me either."

"Exactly, it's about us and the way we feel when we're together. That should always be happy. I never want you to suffer or struggle and I can't always be there to stop it but when I'm with you, I'll try my best. More than wanting to stop it, I don't ever want to be the cause of it, because I can't forgive myself."

"It's not that bad. I'm not suffering, not even a little bit. I want to please you more than I've ever wanted anyone to in my entire life and that says a lot."

"I know you don't mind making sacrifices for others and you've done it your whole life, but

I mind. I don't want you to be doing that for me. I don't wanna be a burden to you."

"I promise you're not and you never will be. Like you said yesterday, I didn't have a life before you. I was happy, but I wasn't really aware of how much happier I could possibly be."

"I'm glad, that's what I like to hear, your positive experiences. Don't you realise I'm different to everyone you've ever taken care of before because we're partners? I don't want you to be uncomfortable at all and hearing you choke makes me feel like my insides are being heated up until the point where they're melting."

"You feel _guilty_ , you shouldn't."

"I can't help it, I wanna put _you_ first."

"I wanna do the same."

"Yeah, but you put _everyone_ first. I'm second on my list, you're last on yours. I know I can't change that because you're so altruistic, which I love about you."

"You used another big word! Please, you know I wanna do it, my mouth's practically watering."

"Even if you're getting off the subject, I'm glad you're more horny than scared right now. If I can save you from your fear, I'm alright."

"Oh, nii-chan you're so sweet!" He hugs him.

"You know, the one thing I can change is that you've got someone to think of you the same way you think of them. So, don't think that how far you can get your mouth down matters for one second. That's not something I need you to do. All I need you to do you love me and stay by my side in everything I do, as long as I live. If you can do that much, I'll be content."

"Oh, you're so cute when you're sentimental!"

"Well, you're cute all day every day."

"Oi!" He puffs up his cheeks, furrows his brow and folds his arms.

"Are you cross with me?"

"Not really, I'm kidding, I sort of get where you're coming from. Now, where were we?" he goes back to the task at hand.

"You knoooow~ Ok, take your time."

"Don't worry about me."

"It's about time I started doing my job properly." He says this while panting and suppressing grunts of pleasure as Nippori really starts to try really hard to prove his capacity.

"What job?"

"Protecting you."

"I can take care of myself, nnnn~ Niiiii-chaannn~ Ah!" He grips onto the leg of Wataru's bottoms and breathes heavily as he keeps himself from crying out.

"I know you can! If you were really a weakling do really think I would have been your friend in the first place?"

"Maybe not."

"The muscle headed old me equated worth to strength and you had it even if you never showed me it then, I could sense it radiating off you. Strength isn't in your muscles is in your heart."

 _The heart is a muscle…_ Nippori doesn't want to correct him and ruin the moment.

"You turned up to school every day with a smile on your face, then went home and worked, then went work and continued to tackle everything with that same can-do attitude! If that's not strength, I don't know what is…"

"Then why do you think I need protecting?"

"We protect each other silly, I thought we talked about it. This is a two-way street. Give _and_ take. You keep me out of trouble and stop me from disappointing my mum. I protect you from pushing yourself too hard, because if no one stopped you or listened to you or was there for you, I'm sure you'd burn out, even if the light is bright a candle burning at both ends doesn't last long. My mum told me the reason you fainted was because you were exhausted and that it was my responsibility to never let that happen again. You needed a place to relax where you weren't always obligated to work every minute... You're crying?"

 _My resolve didn't last very long…_

"Oh, nii-chan you've thought of me that much!?"

"Sit on my lap." He sits, leans on Wataru with both legs on one side and sobs onto his shoulder. "You haven't forgotten that I love you, have you?"

"I haven't."

"Then don't be surprised that I care about you." He nods as Wataru wipes away his tears with his thumb. "I want to be better for your sake. I just want you to be happy."

"Thanks, nii-chan, that's part of the reason why I worry. I want you to be happy too."

"Then let's be happy together, rather than you doing things for me at your own expense."

Nippori starts to feverishly kiss Wataru's plump pink lips. He takes hold of Wataru's bulge. He reciprocates and Nippori gets more adventurous then his hand snakes it's way under the waistband. Wataru gasps then does the same. His new found sense of responsibility leads him to have the thought to put his other hand on the opposite side of the bath, so they don't fall in when things get too heated. Nippori starts to thrust into Wataru's palm ever so slightly and he gets the signal so speed up and jerks him to completion. Nippori doesn't have to try as hard to be quiet when his tongue is otherwise occupied but it's not long before he breaks the kiss to say.

"Nii-chan it's back." Wataru starts to get close and tightens his grip on the bath, his knuckles turn white.

"Together?"

"Together!" He chirps before pressing his lips back against Wataru's. As he climaxes Nippori tightens the grip on Wataru's throbbing penis which starts to spurt all over his enthusiastic hand. "Few! Nii-chan, that was fun."

"Do, you need to do it again?"

"No, I'm really tired and I need a wee." They stand together in front of the toilet. "I think yours is probably easier to control because you've got that big hose pipe and I've got this little watering can."

"Don't say that."

"No it's fine, I'm joking I've learned to accept it, since you told me you accepted it."

"I'm glad you're over it. As long as you can see the humour no one can poke fun and hurt your feelings, you just have to be confident with whatever you've got no matter what it is."

"My sister pretty much told me it's not going to grow, I don't really have a choice but to accept it, I'm sure there are plenty of other fully grown men with ones that are no longer than the second knuckle on their little finger and not quite as thick as their thumbs… Somewhere."

"I've got a _man_ right here, I wouldn't change for the world. Nothing compares to him, so he shouldn't bother comparing himself to anyone else." Nippori gives him a quick peck it the cheek as thanks for the acknowledgement.

"Oh, nii-chan, you know just what to say. Of course I can do this." Wataru feels the urine flow. It's an odd warm sensation that only feels out of place when not holding part of your own body. It starts off slowly as Nippori allows it to ease out then speeds up as he builds confidence in Wataru's aim, not that he ever doubted him. They wash their hands and Wataru walks Nippori back to his own futon where they both curl up together and fall asleep.


	144. Chapter 144

The younger girl kicks Nippori awake. "Ow!" He whimpers while struggling to open his eyes. Wataru is still fast asleep but reacts to the sound and tightens his grip. Not being able to see through the covers she mistakenly kicks Wataru's arm. His eyes shoot open and his thoughts turn to Nippori's well being. He remembers where he is before asking. "Are you ok, Nippori?"

"I'm fine, how are you?"

"My arm hurts." She giddily skips away, having caused Wataru even more pain. Hinako notices her mischievous grin and goes over to them to see what went on.

"Morning Hinako."

"Why are you sharing a futon it's mid Spring, you couldn't possibly have got that cold? Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Actually yes, there is something I'm not telling you."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I'm not sure how I've managed to keep this in for so long but…"

"Go on."

"It just must've never come up. I think it's time this finally came out."

"Ok, I'm listening." He takes Wataru's hand without thinking, it startles him.

"I'm..."

"You've got this far, keep going."

"It's hard to say."

"Well now you've started saying it, you can't stop. We all know what's coming."

"You do?"

"Yes."

"Fine, I'm scared of the dark."

 _It did feel better to tell her…_

"Oh." She sighs.

 _I got my hopes up for nothing, again… I think it was in the heat of the moment. I forgot… It was only yesterday that he told me about Kyoko-chan After all these years of speculation… It's just so hard to wrap my head around it…_

"You're disappointed? Sorry, I had a nightmare, because of that magazine you showed me. There were lots of them! And they had teeth! And they were trying to eat me!"

"Oops, I didn't think you'd react that way."

 _I think I've definitely lost and this time it's on me... I've scarred him for life now. What a sweet senpai! Just letting him jump into bed with him... I don't think anyone else will be able to cope with his quirks… Wataru's patience so limitless… He's my brother and even I wouldn't let him in my bed._

"It still does explain how you're sharing a futon."

"I woke him up. He was rolling around and It's not just that it was keeping me awake but I couldn't stand seeing him like that."

 _He's so sympathetic!…_

"So, you didn't crawl over to his bed and beg to be let in?"

"No, he woke me up because I was crying in my sleep. Once I woke up there was no way I'd be able to get back to sleep because of the dark."

" _Oh_?..."

"In the dark, my imagination is overactive sometimes, so I just project things from it into the room and then and surrounded. I'm trapped and I can't escape it, not by looking away, not by closing my eyes or anything because it's all in my head."

"That's no good."

"But Aniki helped me get through it. When I held onto him I didn't feel alone and my imagination couldn't get the better of me. He helped me stay in reality, when I was awake. Then, I had an excellent dream when I was asleep. "

"So, he made you feel safe and secure even if in your head you like you were being swallowed up in a black abyss with no escape?"

"Something like that."

 _What a man!... He's a protector, he even made him feel safe psychologically… He wants no credit and nothing in return? He's so dreamy~_

"Azuma-kun, does he make you sleep with the lights on?"

"I don't mind, as long as he's ok… What did you dream about?"

"I dreamt we went to a restaurant and there was unlimited ice cream in every flavour you can think of! That came in a cone!"

"Then I'll take you to a restaurant."

"No, you're supposed to be saving your money." Says Nippori.

"Keiji, you're not the boss of him, if he wants to treat you you should just accept it."

"I've got my own money, I just don't want him to waste his."

"I know you don't need to be spending your money. If we went to a restaurant, I'd pay for us both."

"If you have the money to do that, you ought to to save it."

"Remember I got that job, I can do this kind of thing now."

"That's not how saving works you put every penny away."

 _He's such a spoil sport I wonder what gave him the confidence to talk to his senpai like that… Telling him what to do!... So different to with us… I suppose Wataru's on a more equal level with him, so their mutual respect gives him the freedom to say what he likes… I feel like I could be a bit too contentious for him to feel comfortable enough to do that with me or... Maybe Wataru's not a very resistant person, he must be the type to agree, he's not argumentative like me… Which I like! I'll back him up, to get on his good side..._

"Keiji stop being so fussy, he told me about the shonen jump thing yesterday and I realise that you're just too proud to accept help. It's not an insult, it's just an act of kindness. If you won't go, I'll go for you. That sounds like a nice time, to me."

"Fine I'll go, just don't be too reckless with your money."

"I haven't got my wage yet, I've only worked a week. The money's coming from my dad's interference thing."

"You mean inheritance?"

"He didn't manage to get married you see... It's kind of sad... Like my mum…" He has a sudden realisation. "I think they were both waiting for each other!"

 _That's so tragic… They're each other's first and only love… Like us two, it didn't work out because their parents didn't approve… Then I came a long and they had no chance..._

"And their only child was me, so there was nowhere else for the money to go. I didn't ask for it, but it's not as if I can give it back."

"See Keiji, get a grip! He's offering to take you out, you should be saying 'thank you' not just begrudgingly accepting."

"I promise you don't owe me anything and I'll put the rest in my savings."

"You really do as he says, don't you?"

"I can't argue with his logic, but I do want to do something, even a tiny bit fun, with the money before I start putting away."

"Ok thanks Aniki, I appreciate it."

"Now kiss and make up~!"

"What!?" They both ask in unison.

"Don't worry you don't have to kiss him again, just hug, it's a phrase."

"I don't know if I want to."

What if I get another bokki?

"You can at least have the decency to show your gratitude."

"It's fine don't push him Nippori-chan."

 _I think he's probably worried about having another problem._

"Just because a person buys you something doesn't mean you have to repay them. I'm not trying to buy affection... I think that's wrong... You really don't owe me anything, it was my offer. I'll walk you to work on my way home." Nippori whispers

"Thanks for being supportive. I don't want another mishap, I did really want to hug you, though." He speaks up now. "I'll admit I'm finding it hard to accept the money thing… Since I've always been so independent and self-reliant, but I know mean well so, if I try to argue again remind me not to."


	145. Chapter 145

"Can you make me breakfast now?"

"Don't listen to her unless she uses manners."

"What do you say to someone when you hurt them?"

"Sorry I kicked you in the arm Azuma-nii."

"I forgive you, but you hurt him more."

"Sorry o _n_ ii- _san,_ please can you make me my breakfast?"

"Sure." They stay together until midday.

"I'll walk you to work."

"Ok." Nippori gives Wataru some good news while they walk. "Did you know Thursday was my last day at the host club?"

"No."

"I never have to go back to a host club again!"

"Not even when you're older for fun?"

"I don't smoke so I don't need anyone to light a cigarette for me and I'd rather not have people that pretend they care about what I have to say for money, plus I don't drink so there is no appeal to me."

"Well that's great, you didn't tell me."

"Yeah, they bought me a cake and everything. They told me to take it home but I insisted that we shared it says they'd been so good to me. Tomorrow and from then on, I'll get to see you every time I go to work, even when you leave!"

"You still think I stand a chance? You're committed! Which I like. It's nice to have someone that believes in me... I won't let you down in future. I'm really not used to having any positive expectations to live up to. Until now, I didn't have that kind of pressure. I know I reacted to it wrong, because I've never experienced it. Before, no one had faith in me so I never had to worry about letting anyone down. I had the impression that no one cared what I did, so it didn't matter what I did. I've never developed the good habit of doing homework when I got it, let alone doing revision."

"You shouldn't feel guilty, as long as you know, you did all you could do."

"But I didn't. I seriously didn't try. It wasn't my best effort, because not only did I fail to get any revision done without you there to force me, I never even started it. I didn't even look in the direction of a textbook. I just put it off and put it off and put it off and before I knew it I ran out of time."

"Well, then you should feel guilty. That was very irresponsible of you."

"You're not mad?"

"Just because I'm mad it doesn't mean I have to show it. I'm glad you were honest, not only with me, but with yourself. You can't change the past but you can change the future. You've got a whole life ahead of you, it doesn't end here with a few failed exams. You take life into your _own_ hands."

"You're amazing, you gave me exactly the kind of advice I needed, rather than getting frustrated with me for wasting your time. Now, I feel even more determined than ever not to let you down. I never felt like I had a goal, but loving you has given me one and that's to support you and make you happy. It's unfortunate that I realised it this late. I was an idiot..."

"No."

"Yes I was, I wasn't thinking of the future."

"Education?"

"You and your teachings have helped me to appreciate it, even if it took a long time to take effect. Now, I see the importance of having information in my head. It's valuable. It's really hard for a lot of people to get it, so those lucky enough to have an opportunity to get it should make an effort. It's hard to study and get an understanding, but that makes it more of a thing to be treasured. I've been treated like an idiot my whole life and that because I was one. Last night with your sister and her friend... It made me realise how people saw me. My weakness is my lack of knowledge, so you give me strength by supporting me and my laziness."


	146. Chapter 146

"I spent a bit of time memorising stuff from a textbook to write on a piece of paper in an exam hall, but I still don't feel like I'm ever going to do any good in them. They just don't work for me. How could they expect me to answer the questions when I didn't know any of the answers?"

"Study harder."

"Fair enough, but what I'm trying to say is, I know there are still ignorant people about but we can just look at history and see how it affected people. You didn't study it and you're too squeamish for me to go into any detail, but it's darker than any story book ever written. I wouldn't be surprised if better understanding of other people could've made so the past wasn't too awful for me to describe to you. We're people and no ethnicity, gender, religion or sexuality prevents it from being true or makes anyone less equal."

"Equality isn't something you can quantify, but you've got quite profound thoughts, now that you've learnt a few things."

"It's more that, I finally found a way to express myself. Otherwise, it would just all stay in my head and I wouldn't have a way to get it out. I know what I think and why but trying to say it is a different matter. Not being able to find the words is really frustrating. It usually comes out wrong, which lowers people's perception and their opinions of me, so they have no expectations for me which reflects in the way they treat me, which leads me to have no expectations of myself." Nippori tries to contain how pleased he is about Wataru's new found speaking ability in order to avoid seeming patronising. He just nods in awe. "It's yet another vicious cycle, but thanks to you that I finally managed to put an end to it. I know I wouldn't have been able to do it for myself."

"I'm sure you would've eventually."

"It's difficult to challenge what you've always thought you knew and that's probably part of the reason why a lot of people like me, in different circumstances are never reformed. I've got experience of being ignorant and it just got me into trouble. I dread to think how I would have turned out if you hadn't come and saved me from myself. I could have seriously gone down the wrong path like Ryosuke nearly did. Money isn't the answer, violence isn't the answer and street cred has no meaning in a civilised society… That's why I didn't care when Kaneko's friend tried to take over as the top of the school. But, as my attitude changed and my perception crumbled you were there to pick up the pieces. I never cared before but true wealth of the world is knowledge. Our capacity for learning is what separates us from all the other animals… And if we don't put it to good use it's a tragedy."

"Nii-chan, even if you haven't passed, I am pleased you've been listening to what I told you."

"Of course, _everything_ you think, feel and say matters to me. Something I heard in a lesson is coming back to me now. It's something like 'those that don't learn from history are condemned to repeat it'."

"So you paid attention?"

"No, he just said it every time we talked about war, which was a lot! It all adds up though. A lack of education is part of the reason behind the vicious cycle of poverty. I did this in Biology. In some third world countries, they have a double digit number of kids, because some die due to the poor conditions, plus they may also be unaware of 'contraception', whatever that is. I think that contributed to the financial constraints. They can't afford school so they get low paid jobs in sweatshops where they're exploited."

 _So he does remember the things he's taught?... I knew there was hope for him yet he just needed to have more motivation to learn, except it was a bit late for him to catch on three years in a month..._

"They don't have any influence beside their family so someone has to an end to it and teaches them how to break the cycle. By teaching them that they're not useless like _you_ did for me. Then they can go on and make enough money to live comfortably and educate their kids then the area becomes more developed in future generations. Less children die, because they get better at health care, the death rate drops, more children are educated so they have the same chance to succeed as us. It should improve the economy. They'll realise it's more logical to have fewer children. That puts less of a strain on the planet, because we're in log phase and nearing the carrying capacity. If we get there, that means something bad for humanity, because _something_ will happen to act as a limiting factor for our population growth. It could be biotic or abiotic."

 _Some of the stuff I made him learn must definitely have gone in… He really does have the knowledge! Even I'm getting confused… He just needs to find a way to put it to good use…_

"I haven't learnt any of this, yet."

"You will, when you come back in April. It has to be learned, before summer."

"You're remembering things, like you did on Friday."

"It all comes out at the wrong time, though."

"All this talk about us destroying ourselves is upsetting."

"It's reality, but I want to do something about it. Imagine all the brilliant and innovative minds left undiscovered, because they are the victims of circumstance. Isn't that one of our greatest losses? Who knows? After a couple of generations… If they ever get these opportunities it could be one of them that saves the day."

"How?"

"They could be a chemistry whizz, that finds a way to end our dependence on fossil fuels! Or a way to reverse global warming. There maybe infinite problems yet to be solved, but none of it is impossible. There shouldn't be such a word as impossible, we just have to keep trying. I'm sure the current scientists haven't given up, but imagine if there were more people putting their heads together! Adding their diverse views and unique perspectives to the mix! Surely we'd reach that goal even faster. Who knows, they could already be born!"

"What, like the next Einstein?"

"He was a physicist, but yeah. If they're already born, they could make their great discoveries in _my_ lifetime! If we all got educated, there could be a cure for _all_ cancer, HIV! We've put a lot of effort into increasing the lifespan of people, but things like Alzheimer's disease are getting even more common in ageing societies… Remember smallpox has been eradicated, but there are worse diseases to stop, we're just progressing slowly because things like the minimum such as food and shelter needed to maintain a healthy physiological state are kept as a privilege for people with money. I say that's not fair. Obviously, we should start with fundamental needs, but education is the key… And it's not just science, agricultural development means more efficiency, reducing food shortages and instances of famine caused by drought. There could be new literature and Philosophy to express and explain things are relevant now and today's people. It's too devastating to even try to comprehend what a loss the neglect of these populations is for everyone. It's wrong to assume they haven't amounted to anything because they're not capable. They just need a push in the right direction."

 _Satoshi said something like that…._

"That's why I wanna do something about it." Nippori embraces Wataru. "What was that for?"

"You said such kind words. Like you said, when you were ignorant, you nearly went down the wrong path. The saddest thing is when big powerful countries pick on the smaller weaker ones and exploit them. Like America taking oil from the Middle East, they caused nothing but trouble there and left it in a worse state than when they started. A lot of less economically developed countries have victimised because of their vulnerability. The same thing happens to people all over the world and they don't usually have anyone to put a stop to it. They don't have a place to belong, so they join gangs, where they feel accepted. They don't see themselves as the disposable pawn that their boss does, so they're willing to not only put their freedom on the line, but their lives. It's sad when vulnerable people like that join the wrong crowd because they neither have the sense nor self-esteem to get themselves out of that situation. Like Akabane."

"I never formed our group with an intention like that, but are you talking about you?"

"Errm… No, I saw it in a film. They do silly things, go to prison for it and mess up their whole lives then end up being misunderstood because they were never taught right from wrong. They probably feel like they've got nowhere else to go and no one else to turn to because they can't get a decent job, with a criminal record and their families might need the money they get from stealing or whatever else they do to get by. This sort of thing's been going on for years and it continues because no one intervenes and gives them a chance."

"You've got a point about vulnerable individuals looking for a place to belong and ending up in the worst possible group. It's because they're the only ones that accept them and all their flaws. The worst instance is radicalisation."

"I know, it's kind of like that with countries being given false hope and then being preyed upon by extremist and often fascist dictators."

"True, like in history. I learnt that if there was no crash in America to lead the hyperinflation in Germany there would have been no Third Reich. Because when people are desperate they don't care where they get solutions from, as long as they see change."

"Even if your exams didn't go to plan, you've definitely learnt a few things."

"Yeah, it's all thanks to you. You're the first person that ever got through to me, I'm sure I just needed your patience and persistence. I can already see the effects knowledge has had on me, even if I don't know much."

"They say it takes intelligence to finally understand how little you really know,"

"Thanks, but I've only just got to the stage where I'm not an idiot, I don't think I'd go so far as to say I'm intelligent."

"You've got potential."

"Maybe, but that's only if I _really_ try and I haven't started that yet."

"Good, then there's a chance. I'm going to make you study every shift for the whole shift."

"Eh? I _just_ finished my exams."

"You have to start early, if you wanna get ahead."

"Yeah but-"

"I thought you said you wanted to change the world, the only way to do that is to start with yourself."

"Don't punish me for saying that."

"I know doing work may feel like torture for you, but it all counts. You were saying it was a privilege to be educated a minute ago."

"No, I was saying I wish it wasn't. I want it to be universal."

"Anyway, you don't even know if you failed yet. We'll find out our results, then you graduate this Friday"

"The results come out on Thursday and I'm dreading it."

"I don't work on Fridays."

"So by the time we know for sure that I've failed, I don't have to start working immediately after?"

"Actually you could easily be getting on with something as soon as you have your result, but you need to be supervised for some reason. I'm still coming over on Thursday we can make a plan of action then. I'll see you on Monday." He goes to work at the market and Wataru goes home.


	147. Chapter 147

It's Thursday and Wataru sits at the bar looking a letter which reads:

{You've got the best grades of your high school career, well done! The sad thing is your average is still shockingly low. We are unfortunately unable to pass you and therefore you cannot graduate this year. Do not attend the graduation ceremony. It would be strange if you appeared in the photos of two consecutive years.} Nippori comes in for work.

"I thought we were gonna open our results together."

"I thought so too, but I couldn't wait and if you got good news and I didn't, I wanted to still be able to show my happiness for you, rather than overshadowing it with my gloominess..."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. I'll open mine then say what you got."

"Ok."

"Few, I just scraped some B's. Now when I apply for Uni, they'll take me more seriously.

"University?"

"Oh yeah, didn't you take any entrance exams? We'll be in the same year. I can coach you on how to apply starting from now."

"Who said I was going to university? Someone put my name down for them, as if I was going to turn up to an exam that didn't affect whether or not I graduated."

"It might look bad that you're being held back a year, but it's not time for you to give up. What's your plan after this? Graduation is not the _only_ goal it's just the _current_ goal. Where do you see yourself in five years time?"

"I don't care where I am, as long as it's with you." He hands Nippori the letter. He places a sympathetic hand on Wataru's shoulder and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

"I know that you didn't graduate but now we've got a whole year together to reevaluate and see where you went wrong. The obvious fact is that you didn't work hard enough, but now I've moved the job that I work from Monday to Thursday to your house, I can check up on you and motivate you even more!"

"..."

"You might not have graduation to look forward to but we've got our last competition tomorrow."

"So this isn't over? Can't I just be a house husband or something? Have you heard about this 'ikumen' thing, where they take care of the house and rear the children? What? I read it in one of my mum's magazines she keeps in the toilet. It's not like I went out and bought one."

"They're aimed at women, especially the ones in traditional nuclear families... We're _both_ men, so either way, it's nothing groundbreaking for either one of us to do domestic work, if you got a decent job tomorrow what would your plan be for that after we got married?"

"Obviously we'd share."

"You don't know the first thing about cleaning and you've still got a chance to try again, didn't you read the letter? They say you've got the best grades you've ever had, which means you can improve and they expect you to be in the next year's photos, they've got hope for you."

"Well it looks like we're both gonna come back in April, I was looking forward to that time off!"

"And the sex."

"Eh? You're _still_ gonna make me wait?"

"Obviously, the rule was to wait until you graduate. I'm a man of my word, I say what I mean and I mean what I say. You'd better hit the books."

"Is that why you're not mad, because you're already in the process of punishing me?"

"I don't know if I'd say that."

"Wait! Maybe the reason I failed was because I was subconsciously self-destructing in order to preserve our close proximity."

"I like the fact that you know how to express yourself now, but like I said I'm a man of my word. I'm not going back on that promise. We both know you can do it when you put your mind to it."

 _He's not reacting to me using big words any more, I can't distract him from scolding me..._

"Sorry, it's just that before the exams, I wasn't stressed, because I'm an idiot..."

"Don't say that."

"But now I've done them, I feel like each paper was just me sitting there _proving_ how empty my head really is."

"It's not the end of the world."

"I'm really desperate to get out of the education system and now that I've failed, every little bit of effort that I put in, even if it wasn't enough, feels like a waste..."

"We've built the foundation of basic knowledge that will help you when you come back in September."

"Oh, and the work _you_ put in as well. Sorry, I feel so useless now, it's not only my future it's our future, how could I have been so lazy? How can I make it up to you?"

"You don't owe it to me, you owe it to yourself and I think what needs to happen is that you should pass this time. I'll be with you after school when I work at your mum's restaurant. The good thing about it is that we'll be together so I can motivate you, but we're in public so we won't get distracted."

"So there's no escaping it?"

"You're halfway there."

"How could I be? I don't even understand half of my subjects."

"I think being halfway there involves having the intent to do well and making an effort to improve. Which one makes the most sense to you?"

"Maths, I got a U in everything else, so I'm not allowed to graduate."

"Even English?"

"I know that you helped me to get ready for the oral which came earlier than all the others. But what I found out is that really in speaking and writing are completely different skills just because you can speak doesn't mean you can read. Knowing the alphabet helps but not really I just looked at the paper and all the letters jumbled together, if they didn't ask questions in English, I might've stood a chance."

"The listening?"

"I couldn't follow it, the voice actors spoke too fast so it was just noise to me. I know, I'll just become a freeter until my mum gives me this restaurant."

"You really want to get out of spending the next year working, don't you? What did you mean that time you said you wanted to 'do something about it', meaning you want to put an end to poverty?"

"I'd give a load of money to charity."

"The money I earned as the primary breadwinner?"

"Of course you'd give it to me, we'd be married by then."

"Has throwing money at the problem worked so far?"

"No."

"This is a hypothetical, you _will_ graduate. Remember the agreement we made?"

"Don't remind me. So, in the hip hop… Hippopotamus?"

"The what?"

"The hypotenuse?" Nippori gives him a puzzled look. "So, in the hypocritical..."

"Go on."

"We die without doing it because I don't graduate?"

"Exactly."

"Wow, you're committed to that, aren't you?"

"The only way for it to work as if I never give in, otherwise I'll just be a pushover."

"Wataru, stop distracting him."

"He's trying to convince me to go back and re-sit."

"Good, then you'll keep listening to what he says, he's a very sensible boy." Nippori would've been blushing if he heard that and didn't get distracted by a customer.

"Can I take your order, please? Omrice, hamburger steak? Coming up." As he hands the order to the chef, Wataru gets up and joins him.

"So, in the _hypothetical_ , you give a lot of money to charity? You'd rather pay someone else to do it, than go out there and really make an impact yourself? Obviously, a donation is a start, but how much of a difference do you think that would make?"

"A bit… So... I should do more?"

"You'd like another drink? Ok, that's fine, same again? You should aspire to do more. I know it'd take a lot of time and effort, but it's your life, do with it what you will to make yourself proud of it. No problem, you're welcome."

"I know for a fact I'm not capable of anything like that."

"How could you possibly know that, when you haven't even tried? You need to push yourself to fulfil your potential rather than leaving it to others. I _could_ specialise in biochemistry and create a serum that not only makes you immune to malaria but infects the carrying mosquito with its _own_ antibodies. I'm not saying I will, but if the treatment prevents a revolutionary person with lots of potential from dying, who's going to show them the way and nurture them into fulfilling that? They could turn to crime and revolutionise that instead. You've got to look at the bigger picture, teach them so they can help themselves. Then they may be able to solve their own problems by curing their _own_ illnesses and cultivating land that has never been cultivated before. Which lets them feed their _own_ starving people in the future. They say 'give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day but teach a man how to fish and you'll feed him for a lifetime'. You've got to do everything you can, even if there's no one supporting you. If you stand alone, at least you're doing it for the right reasons."

"I thought you understood that I'm not a very ambitious person, that doesn't like to try hard at anything."

"Don't ever give up or settle for less. Welcome, I'm new here, I look forward to seeing you again soon, please take a seat, I'll bring the menu soon. I've got a question for you and it's why you have all these grand ideas and never once thought of putting a stitch of effort into making them happen. 'In a couple of generations'?, 'Maybe'? You said. Why not right here, right now? You've got the ideas and even if you can't solve every problem, start the ball rolling. Leave an impression for future generations and pay it forward. Thanks for waiting. Show your gratitude for being given these opportunities and use them. You have an interest in science and Maths. You've got innovative ideas. You're forgetting yourself, again. You're able to do the things that interest you and not only realise _your_ potential, but enhance the lives of others, like I know you can. I'm thinking of having a word with the headteacher if the next term doesn't work out, to put an end to your cycle of failure, which leads to you getting downhearted and feeling like you can't achieve anything."

"Are you serious about starting the work _now_?"

 _I see, he's come around to my way of thinking but still wants to bargain his way out of working hard from the start? That's not how it works, it's all or nothing!_

"Of course, you've got a lot to catch up on and we're gonna make notes and do _everything_ properly." He sighs. "These things take time and the only way to make sure you have a chance at finishing is to start early. I'll let you off this weekend just until the competition."

"You're firm but fair and that's why I love you!"

"It's not the only reason." They share a laugh and carry on working together Wataru decides to help Nippori even without pay, just because it's him.


	148. Chapter 148

As he was told to, Wataru doesn't turn up to the graduation ceremony on Friday, but the whole team goes to the restaurant and they celebrate with him. They end up going out onto the beach and doing some cartwheels while saying goodbyes to the team. They talk, they reminisce and Mizusawa manages to get into another argument with Ryosuke.

"I'm not gay I just don't like vaginas that much."

"What do you mean by 'that much'?"

"I don't like them that much, but girls are fine."

"I don't like them at all, so you're gonna have to elaborate... I want a better explanation."

"You don't need to simplify things for me, as if an idiot could make come backs as ingenious as mine."

"You're pretty big headed for some one with identity issues."

"I don't have issues and I'm not questioning anything!... What I mean by not 'that much' is that I'd rather not have to see, smell or touch it…"

"Don't tell me, you like 'new half'?

"Maybe… Imagine if Nippori changed, he'd be perf- I mean..." Ryosuke thinks out loud then starts to argue, then he realises Mizusawa's stopped listening.

 _Could it be that people change their perceptions of others to suite their own desires?... Like when a dirty old man says 'she looked older' or when a 'straight' guy sees someone like Nippori and says they look girly… They knew what they were into and... Just couldn't accept it?… They must be choosing a different way to interpret their environment it, to avoid guilt..._

"I've got something you may or may not want to see…"

"What? Now I need to know!"

"Promise not to tell?"

"Promise!"

"Promise not to freak out?"

"I don't know what coming yet."

"Promise to tell me if you're turned on?"

"That's none of your beeswax!"

"Ah~ How I love to make a man blush…"

"Don't get all gay on me now."

"Brace yourself." He shows him the picture of Nippori's onee kyara*.

"Eeeeeeeeeehhhhhhh!?"

"Are you aroused?"

"No, I'm just really shocked." He lies.

"Your nose is bleeding."

"Oh crap!" He wipes his nose on his hand and looks at it. "No it's not!" He whacks Mizusawa on the head.

"You really are a hentai, aren't you?"

"Just because you are doesn't mean we all are."

"We're all entitled to our own opinions, it doesn't make them right! Where are your comebacks now?"

"Tell me how you got that photo!"

"His sister pranked him in his sleep and sent it to me."

"That's my kind of sister! We could totally chill!"

"I can actually imagine that, she's quite a character."

"You've met her?"

"Yeah and she really doesn't like me,"

"I'm not surprised you're such a dickhead."

"You don't even know the half of it! Or maybe you do?"

"Oi, she's not _that_ bad, though."

"No, she's just threatened my life a couple of times!"

"Why?

"She thought I was after her brother."

"I get her…"

"So your type is girls, with flat chests and penises?"

"You're making it sound weird."

"No, how could that be weird? Sounds like my type of girl!" Ryosuke sucker punches him below the belt.

"We really are like oil and water aren't we?"

"The fact we're not into cis girls acts as the emulsifying agent." He winces.

"So, you're saying we don't like each other, but we're chemically bound? Personally, I can't resist the sweet sweet banter, you're a lege! I can get away with more dicey stuff with you than I ever have been with anyone else."

"Well, I have got a personality you know, I'm not _all_ looks."

"Like you said, we've got opinions…"

"You're touchy, but you can take a joke… _Ish_."

"It works for me, I feel like there are no boundaries to cross… You don't take anything I say seriously… Someone's got to argue back for it to be funny."

"So, you're a lad that would rather suck a dick than…"

"Oi speak for yourself! I never will... Not at this rate."

"So, what you're just randomly choosing girls and getting to the point where you can find out what's under their skirt?"

"I suppose so, I do get my fair share of flat chested ones but, I like boobs, since, I'm _straight_."

"When you win the 'hot dog lottery', what're you gonna do?"

"Something…"

"Did you ever by any chance think that you could be bi?"

 _Like Endo?_

"No, I don't like men, their stubble, smell, rugged chiseled features…"

"Smell me."

"Ok, now what?"

"Which one of those things do I have?"

"You're a man, for starters."

 _How long is he gonna keep lying to himself?_

"What's so good about women?"

"You're gay you wouldn't understand."

"No, I'm listening, enlighten me."

Author's note

*Onee- kyara means female alter ego, in case you forgot.


	149. Chapter 149

"They're kind, they're gentle, they cook, clean and take care of kids,"

 _He just described Nippori, without knowing..._

"You're borderline on sexist stereotypes here. I'm just gonna use the material you've given me to come to the conclusion that you don't wanna be submissive, which is fine. You're not alone there."

"But I can't look at a man and think about how 'cute' they are, I don't see them that way."

"Fine, no one's telling you to stop being 'straight'. I for one know it's not a choice. I was just trying to give you a little bit of advice on the search for a penis."

"Ok go on."

"Find a guy…"

"Don't get my hopes up like that again."

"How would you feel about a manly woman"

"With all those flappy bits?" He grimaces at the thought.

"Don't go into detail I'm not keen on fannys either."

"Nah, I think we'd just be friends."

"With all the girls I've seen you date!? I didn't even know those words existed in your vocabulary."

"Shut up!"

"Fine, my next question is, how would you feel about a girly man?"

"In what way? "

"I don't know, he might cross dress, have a smooth face, very little or no muscle tone."

"He's still a guy."

"You shag him, he doesn't shag you, unless that's what you want."

"I don't know if you're trying to be funny but you're right about me not wanting anyone to be _in_ me... And let's not forget the fact that I'm not gay!"

"Answer the question."

"Fine, it's gonna be a pretty solid maybe."

"Interesting."

"Don't get any ideas, I'm not sucking you off!"

"Who said anything about that? You're the one getting ideas."

"I don't want to it's too big for my liking."

"A: No one's ever said that to me before and B: Just because we're both gay doesn't mean this has to be anything more than friendship."

"You can say that again and... Wait! We're not both gay!"

"Right..." He nods and squints his eyes as he draws out the vowels in this word for much longer than is necessary.

"Shut your mouth before I shut it for you."

"You were checking me out."

 _I wasn't! It was a passing glance… Just because I act confident it doesn't mean I wasn't comparing..._

"Shut up!"

"You only say that when you can't think of anything to argue with… And another thing, in what universe do you think _you_ could top me?"

"Yeah right, in the hypothetical relationship between you and Kiyama who'd be the top?" He retorts.

"If it's hypothetical, anything I want could happen."

 _You don't know what he's like behind closed doors…_

"And?" He waits for Mizusawa to wait. "Who'd be the top?"

"I recently realised, I don't care as long as it's him."

"How tragically sweet…"

"Well, what's the point in sleeping together if it's not with someone you really love?"

"You'd be surprised, it's really fun!"

"But it's only temporary pleasure."

"So, it's the same with food"

"But you _need_ food,"

"There's nothing wrong with it."

"The STIs!"

"Nothing you say can put me off."

"It's just a personal thought. I'm not trying to persuade you either way, I'm just questioning it for myself… It's not the same, I mean I could go off and find some bottom, but it's never going to compare."

"My heart bleeds for you, Mizusawa."

 _I'm so lucky, I don't have to search or mess around with other people's feelings... I know where I belong and who with…_

"Don't take the mick!"

"Look whos talking, now!"

"Fine, but there's something I want you to take note of."

"Ok,"

"More often than not, the end goal for a new half is to have plastic surgery, that gives them a vagina and boobs."

"Way to crush a man's dreams!"

"Of?"

"This another one of your points, where you make me look dumb again, but I'm not falling for it!

"What would I have said?"

"Because I like feminine features and non atomically correct women I 'must like men'. But it's not the same!"

 _He's getting so worked up, I'm just testing to see why he took the allegations against our team so personally and if he's got a problem with being gay. It shouldn't offend him to be called gay it's not a bad thing._

"How come I'm into it?"

"You're a hentai!"

"Oh yeah!"

"A girl is a girl you know, everything about them is different, their laugh, mannerisms you know?"

"You're _really_ dead set in your ways!"

"I _only_ like girls. Gay means you are happy or you like someone the same gender as yourself."

"Good point."

"I _am_ 'gay' in one context, since I don't have to do any work until uni in September, but I'm not a homosexual, because last time I checked I wasn't female. Get your facts straight, Mizu-ppe!"

"Oh, did you just nickname me? Cute!"

"Calm your tits! And speaking of them I like them, you don't, but I'm straight. _I_ know that and whether or not you tell me any different that won't change."

"What are you doing?"

"Mechanics?"

"Like quantum mechanics?"

"If that's to do with fixing cars and that sort of thing, yeah."

"No, I was talking about something else, but good for you."

"What are you doing?"

"Same as my mum."

"How am I meant to know what that is?"

"Law."

"I see, so you'll get to run your mouth and get paid while doing it? Good call. I never thought I could lose arguments 'till you. I've really met my match! You know the Yankees would just get physical as soon as I push them too far, but _you_ , you _actually_ give me a challenge!"

"It's a unique repartee, is it not?"

"It'd say it is, myself." He jokingly mock-punches Mizusawa.

"So, concludes this session of Mizusawa educates hopeless fools."

"Oi, I resent that!"

"You're not the first and knowing my luck, you won't be the last."

"I'm not the most clueless you've seen, right?"

"In some respects, you're the most knowledgeable, in others you're not."

 _At least they're sure of themselves._

"So there's some genius dude that is beating me?"

"You could say that, he has taught me a thing or two myself."

"Anything I should know?"

"It's way too advanced for the likes of you."

"Try me."

"It's emotional and involves selflessness."

"Maybe you're right that's enough romance talk for one day."

"All we talked about was sex, If you think that's romance you're deluded."

"Maybe there is a fair bit I've yet to learn?"

"'Maybe'? You don't even fully understand yourself yet and that's the place to start."

"Fine, I may not be as advanced in emotional areas as I'd like to be."

"Are you just agreeing to make this conversation last longer, so you don't have to get up while you're still pitching a tent over the Nippori picture?"

"What are you talking about? I'm really interested in your soppy, lovey dovey feelings malarkey." Mizusawa makes a threat to reciprocate Ryosuke's punch and he flinches holding his hands up and saying

"You know me too well, unless you knew I'd react like this because…"

"No I don't have one, mine only stands for one man."

"Really!?"

"No, but it would be sweet if that was true."

 _Like a certain individual I know…_


	150. Chapter 150

"I would have been both impressed and a bit disgusted… My first question would be how on earth you have an imagination vivid enough to think of one guy and get off."

"I don't get what part of that would disgust you."

"The thought of you wanking..."

"No, one told you to imagine it."

"No, I wasn't finished, it's the thought of you thinking about Kiyama at such a time, without his permission."

"Is that what you think I'd do if I were that way inclined?"

"I don't think you'd have a choice."

"By that logic, isn't it a bit weird to look at strangers on the internet you've never even met?"

"Everyone does it."

 _I can think of at least three boys that don't… I think they're better off that way…_

"It's what you've based your sexual fantasies on isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"You've yet to be satisfied by a girl that you've met, based on the images of so called perfection you've got from the internet?"

"I wouldn't say they didn't satisfy me, but yes, it wasn't enough to keep me coming back for more, if you catch my drift."

"That says a lot about what our generation is coming to..."

"What? Every girl I've been with so far has been missing something."

"Let me guess."

"No, not just that, I thing they lack individuality, there's nothing to really stimulate me and I mean outside of the bedroom..."

"Oh, so you actually care about their personalities?"

"Well to an extent I do."

"Wow!" Ryosuke rolls his eyes.

"You see what we're doing now."

"Sitting on a beach."

"No talking, I want what we've got."

"Jeez Ryosuke, stop coming on to me I'm not interested, gosh! I know I'm perfect in every way but you need to keep in it your pants."

"Don't you ever think it would be great if a girl could be more than _just_ a girl, you know, like a friend."

"You must have been looking in the wrong place, at least you're not gonna have to deal with high school girls anymore, the ones at uni should be a lot more mature and who knows maybe you'll be able to connect on an intellectual level."

"Sounds good but on an Etchi note, a lot of girls I've been with grazed their teeth… They don't know how it feels, you know?"

"No, I wouldn't know. Anyway, the bottom line is that the ideals that certain individuals get from pornography may never be met, leading distorted view of women and a dysfunctional love life."

"No one's arguing with you there mate, I just wish I could be _totally_ into a cis girl."

"No that's personal to you. I'm just noting the fact that porn is corrupting young people like yourself."

"What makes you so high and mighty? Like you said you're a hentai."

"I might be but at least I can tell the difference between real life and the digitally enhanced fantasy. That sort of thing wasn't as easily available when I was younger, so now I'm able to find it and view it objectively whereas some may see it and expect it in their lives. I mean if you think about it. people were never supposed to be exposed to that much explicit material."

"Yeah, you go on one of those websites and see more private parts in the span of one minute then people would have seen in a lifetime just a few generations ago."

"Exactly, that has to do something to the mind… We're not evolved to cope with it, it's just too stimulating, then you get desensitised."

"And you have to go to the really dark, depraved places on the internet that make you feel grimy?"

"No! What are you into!?"

"No, nothing, I was just checking..."

"Is there something you're not telling me?"

"What!? We're all a little bit kinky aren't we?"

"Ok, let's just keep our porn habits to our selves from now on shall we?"

"Deal!"

"Whatever happened to a good catalogue underwear model, erotic literature, or most importantly the imagination!?" He reflects out loud.

"Don't act like you're not a hentai too."

"Did the fact that Nippori made you feel uncomfortable about yourself have anything to do with you taking the mick out of him?"

"If you're telling me that my fear turned to anger you might be right."

 _I just wish that I was a little bit more grossed out by him and then I wouldn't feel like there was something wrong with me..._

"Well, it is in people's nature to attack what they don't understand, especially when that fear comes from within themselves."

"I felt so bad about how I expressed myself especially when he cried."

"He wasn't crying. He was just upset."

"That doesn't make me feel any less guilty, I was such a prick."

"What are you two doing? Looking at that old picture of Nippori? I don't know if he'd appreciate you sharing that, Mizusawa." He shakes his head, before changing the subject. "You should see the latest one, his sister is a genius!"

"Woah, mate! Where d'ya get that one from!?"

"Your nose is properly bleeding right now!" Ryosuke touches his face.

"No it's not, why do I always fall for that nonsense!?"

"Seriously, how did you get it, he's got a full outfit on."

"I slept at his house last weekend and I exchanged numbers with his sister, she sent it to me."

"You got to sleep at his house?"

"It was her birthday and she invited me."

"Do you like her?"

"She's a great sister, but she really likes to humiliate him. I think he might have done something to upset her but she never said what." Meanwhile, Nippori and Satoshi have their own conversation.

"Remember that time when you said if someone was on the wrong path for you needed a push in the right direction?"

"Yeah, how did that work out for you?"

"I tried to help him graduate." He points to Wataru.

"Let's hope it's better luck next year." They stand up and up and walk to join the others.

"I hope so to, I've already put a few things in place to make him more motivated and we'll be in the same year, so I won't let him get away with it this time." They go to sit with the others

"What's everyone looking at?"

"Nothing." They all say this simultaneously while whistling tunelessly, looking in opposite directions and scratching the back of their heads nervously. Yuta and the rest join them.

"We've had a good year thank you all for being part of it. It's coming up to time to go our separate ways, unfortunately. I know some of us will remain at Karasumori and others will be going away to university. I wish you all the best of luck."

"We don't have to leave home until September time!"

"It seems as though some of us have built up a sense of camaraderie and would like to spend more time together, that's alright with me."

"Yeah, it doesn't have to end here."

They, continue like that for the duration all the summer holidays and they grow closer as their time together comes to a close. They go to festivals and visit other prefectures together as if they had been friends from the start. They forget their differences, that they have all come together from varied walks of life and that in a matter of days they won't be able to see each other but life goes on.

Author's note

This isn't the end, remember they still haven't graduated yet.


	151. Chapter 151

The competition is upon them sooner than they expected, they have no idea where the time went. They go to the competition and the standard is so unlike ever before they're still trying their best to win, but everyone's nerves are set on edge. They all wait patiently in the changing room with Kashiwagi-sensei when they realise Kiyama is missing. Mizusawa has kept quiet about it since he didn't want the others to get any ideas about why he be the first to question Kiyama's whereabouts, but he's a little bit agitated.

 _That idiot, I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind when we get home… I just know he's doing something reckless. I should've gone to his house and got him… Having a different plan is the only reason for him not to have come at the same time as the rest of us. I hope he's not in trouble… He's already in my bad books, I know he's concerned with paying Yuta back but how far would he take it?_

"Erm, boys does anyone know where Kiyama-kun went?" Asks Kashiwagi.

"I thought he was over there." Says Ryosuke.

"Did he leave?"

"I haven't seen him all day." Adds Satoshi.

"He's usually silent so there wasn't any reason to be suspicious." Mizusawa says was he loses his ability to resist speaking.

"He's almost as good at being invisible as you Mizu-ppe, except unlike you, he has to try very hard not to be seen."

"Oi, Ryo-chan I resent that."

"I literally didn't know your name until I found out about your little secret."

"I think he could be in some sort of trouble, if he's missing at such an important time. He's too loyal to want to let any of you guys down."

"You've got that right."

"Ok, everyone shut up, he's calling me. Where are you?... You what!?" He covers the receiver and says. "Akabane is the one calling! He might get killed. I'm on my way, don't touch him. Sorry, I need to go, you can still compete without me, Nippori, you stand in."

"Ok." Nippori croaks.

"Thanks for having me your team Yuta you've taken good care of us up until now, it has definitely changed my life for the better. I've never been this happy. I'll be back."

Wataru jets out of the door runs to Kiyama's aid. The whole room goes silent and the only thing that can be heard is Nippori sobbing to himself.

 _I know he understands but it's so hard to leave him like that… I'm sure it's the first time I've ever made him cry… At least by choice... I could stop it, but Akabane said he'd kill Kiyama. I thought we got past this stage... I've been doing everything in my power to prevent him from crying… Now it's seriously my fault... I can't stand seeing him like that… My chest aches so much, it feels like there's a big purple bruise on my heart… I kinda wish I didn't feel sympathy or guilt or whatever this is, but he's probably feeling worse... Gosh, this is heartbreaking! it just lets me know how much better I feel when I'm by his side… I know if he left for something self-destructive like this, I'd chase after him… He knows it's for the good of the team so he'll stay there for their benefit, no matter how much it hurts him… I'm sure he understands… He must be crying because he's scared… He can't possibly think Akabane has a chance at hurting me. If he thinks Akabane's gonna kill me for real this time, he must be tapped in the head... This'll take ten minutes, I'm sure he only cares about the status and I'll give it to him, I just want him to be off my case for good… But from my knowledge I know that appeasement doesn't work, not with mad men, they just take more and more!... It's not as if I could've ever imagined it turning out like this between us… He seemed so loyal before, but I suppose he just enjoyed being bad… Once I stopped that, he moved on to worse things… We must've kept him from it before by just doing minor stuff… I haven't done anything to make him hate me besides finding something that makes me happy… He must've seen that as me abandoning him, in his campaign for destruction… I broke his heart, so he's lashing out… It can't be helped when a brat has a tantrum because they haven't been taught better and don't have a way to control their strong emotions… It's just like how Akabane doesn't know any better and I know that more than anyone. I can sympathise with him... I'm sure he'll be reasonable… He got what he wanted… He made it so I can't compete now, I'm leaving… I'm sure he was jealous that I found my place to belong… I'll intervene now and hopefully, he can graduate from being a Yankee, like I did. He needs to learn his lesson, I hope we can come to an agreement peacefully. I know I'm not going to use violence. Resorting to that kind of thing is never the answer, someone always ends up hurt and the cycle of revenge doesn't have an end if no one puts a stop to it… He could try to use me as a punching bag to take out all his unexplainable emotions... But that's fine, I'll just take it and he'll get bored when he realises I won't put up a fight then he'll have no choice but to listen to me._


	152. Chapter 152

He makes it to the unpopulated building site that Akabane specified and finds Kiyama beaten to a pulp. Wataru asks Akabane to give Kiyama back but he was just bait to lure Wataru. "You shouldn't have come."

"I couldn't let him kill you for a competition."

"But-"

"I can't justify letting you die for any reason." Akabane beats Wataru up and he doesn't resist or fight back. The rest of the team comes to put a stop to it. They follow Wataru and Kiyama in their peaceful protest, which Akabane finds really frustrating. They put the competition at risk, but during the fight, Akabane feels like he's done enough damage and has a change of heart so he decides to leave them to it. The team hurry back to the competition. As they enter they are looked down on for their rough appearances.

 _Now that I'm battered and bruised it puts me on a level playing field with the Yankees, and I can see it in their faces, they think we're 'scum'… And who am I kidding, I would have felt the same way even just a few months earlier._ Kaneko thinks was he realises that up until this point everyone has grown as a person thanks to the Yankees joining the new men's rhythmic gymnastics team. A lot has changed, from Satoshi speaking up to Hino learning to work as part of a team. They all made each other better people and the competition is a chance to demonstrate their growth. When they finish their routine, Nippori launches himself onto Wataru and hugs him. They all celebrate together and their main rival congratulates Yuta on what he believes should have been Karasumori's victory. He knows they only lost due to a technicality about presentation and feels slightly annoyed that his harmful methods of training didn't actually pay off as the rightful victor, Yuta was a lot more thoughtful and sensitive towards his teammates. Yuta is grateful that the Washizu members recognise them as valid and appreciate their efforts. No one thinks about the negative parts of losing when he talks to the team.

"We didn't win but we tried our best and showed what we were capable of."

"That we were able to compete at such a high level is an accomplishment." Says Satoshi.

"Even the guys at Washizu respect us." Says Kaneko.

"Going out there in these circumstances and doing our school proud is a victory and it doesn't matter if it ends there." Says Mizusawa.

"I'm proud that we made it this far." Yuta beams.

They all say their goodbyes.

Later that day.

"Don't you have anything to say for yourself today?"

"When Akabane and his lads beat me up that was the worst I've ever been beaten in my life."

"Anything else?"

"I don't really have a lot of experience of that so, I'm thinking that everyone I've beaten up in the past was probably in a lot of pain."

"So?"

"I've learnt a lesson I might become a pacifist?"

"That's not what I'm getting at! Yama-chan. How could you do that!? You seriously went with the intention of dying, didn't you!? I know you have your caring side but sometimes you just go one step too far. I can't believe you did that to me! You're so selfish! Just to prove a point? What would I have done without you? You know what it's like to lose the person you love. Say something."

"I won't argue, because you're right, but something had to be done. That was just my way of giving back what I owe to the team."

"I know you were being honorable and I respect that, but you're so reckless! You _really_ set my nerves on edge!"

"I'll never do it again".

"Promise?"

"Too many people have risked lives for me, I shouldn't be wasting it."

"So, you do have _some_ sense, do you?"

"I'm sorry, please forgive me."

"Don't you dare make that face!"

"What face?"

"Stop coming closer to me. Do you really think I'd let you off that easily!? I just want to know what was going through your head besides the fact that you wanted to give back such and such and blah blah blah. In what universe do you seriously think Wataru would choose the competition over your life?"

"Yeah I was stupid, I get it. Now stop being a drama queen and hurry up and forgive me." He kisses him deeply.

"So what, you just thought I'd let you die?"

"I didn't _expect_ to be killed, but I was prepared for it." He tries to resume the kiss when Mizusawa slaps him.

"You really like to stir the pot, don't you? You act as if you don't care what the outcome was."

"I care, obviously living was preferable." He kisses him again and tries to grope him.

"I still feel like you haven't learnt your lesson. I thought you understood the value of life."

"I do."

"I thought _his_ mum told you to live your life to the full? In his place?"

 _His mother thanked me for making his last days happy, but I'd rather he didn't trade his life for mine... I wish he was still here so he could have the chances that I'm not taking advantage of. I never deserved her praise, her son was the hero I just stood there and got saved..._

"I know you were worried. I'll be more careful next time."

"You said never again. Promise me!"

"Fine, I won't do it, without consulting you first."

"That's not the point. I love you and don't wanna live a life without you in it."

"So you _are_ capable of saying kind words?"

"Don't p*ss about Yama-chan, I just said something meaningful, now you say something.

"I did it because I wanted my life to have some kind of value, if I gave it in exchange for the sake of the dreams of the people that I care about… That I owe so much for supporting me-"

"You idiot, yours is the most valuable life on the planet, to me."

"Taku, you mean everything to me…" Mizusawa blinks in disbelief.

"Did you just say my name!?" He can't believe his ears.

"Before you, I didn't think I'd be able to love anything. I felt nothing on the inside. You seriously helped me to feel again, even if it's not that much. You're patient with me and I appreciate it, you just being there by my side really means a lot." They start to kiss, getting more and more out of control. Kiyama starts to invade Mizusawa's underwear and he squirms under the heated touch of his intrusive hand. Then suddenly they are interrupted by Mizusawa's older sister.


	153. Chapter 153 just Mizusawa and Kiyama

**As you can probably tell from the last chapter there's is going to be a focus on Mizusawa and Kiyama, but not permanently. I'll mark it in the chapter titles for as long as it lasts.**

"Stop getting freaky on the sofa you two! Other people have to sit there, you know?"

"We're not getting freaky, I'm trying to make him forgive me."

"I'm quite sure he's already forgiven you,"

"I think so too, but I need to hear him say it."

"I think you're not trying hard enough, you should give him an apology."

"He's already said sorry."

"I don't mean a verbal apology."

"She's suggesting that I-" Kiyama mimes was subtly was he can.

"Eh? Don't hint things like that! What kind of sister are you? You're too vulgar, a bit like Yama-chan, but I will take you up on your offer."

"I never offered anything."

"When was the last time you did that?"

"You talk about Mizusawa-chan being vulgar and you're talking about this in front of her?"

"What? Stop trying to change the subject, you just want to get off the topic you find difficult, it's obvious because you're not able to give a decent answer. Anyway us two're close, we talk about _everything_."

"Everything?"

"He goes into graphic detail. How big you are, how long you last…"

"Taku!"

"That's my name don't wear it out. The more you use it, the less special it is, sooner or later the novelty will wear off!... In my defense, I never told her I was in love with you. She just guessed after all the times you'd visited. I was already out and It didn't take much for her to work out why on earth you were always the one that visited. She's clever and she's basically equally as nosey, as I am talkative. Her and her questions, I and my loud mouth! It was just the worst combination." Mizusawa suddenly becomes aware of his discomfort and crosses one leg over the other.

"Oh, so I _was_ interrupting something? Do I make you feel uncomfortable Taku?"

"So what, you're just gonna waltz right in and settle down?"

"This is a shared room, love." Kiyama marvels at the ridiculousness of their interaction and how low the level of formality is between the two. "If you don't like it you can lump it, you're free to leave at any time!" Mizusawa decides to do as she says, then remembers his problem. He glances over to Kiyama, he is neither mortified nor showing any signs of being upset that they were disrupted.

"For crying out loud, Yama-chan!"

"What?" He slams a pillow down over his lap. "Oh..." He leans in to whisper. "So you _are_ aware that that's waiting for you? You wanna keep sitting here?" Mizusawa ignores him and his older sister giggles.

 _Yama-chan! He can be so infuriating sometimes he's the only one that makes me lose my temper..._

"That's right 'Oh'! You really don't have a sense of shame do you?"

 _I get it, he doesn't wanna get up in that state..._ He laughs to himself.

"I like to think it's more confidence than unashamedness."

"Is there really a difference?"

"Stop scolding him. I've already seen it and it does not disappoint!"

"Does Hentai run in the family or something?" They both give him a nice guy pose.

"Taku, how do you cope with such a thing?"

"Do you remember how it started?" She nods. "Well…"

"Woah, woah, woah! I know my family is _really_ reserved, but I'm sure there such a thing as being too open."

"I'm sure my arse would have had a similar thing to say to your prick the other day." He and his sister share knowing laugh. "I'm sure there _is_ 'such a thing as being too open', but I had to talk to someone and get advice from somewhere."

"You really like to talk about your feelings, don't you?"

"I like to express myself, but if it suits you not to, so be it. But you _can_ talk about anything no matter how big or small."

"I see, since you already know my deepest darkest secret, I might as well tell you about the trivial things."

"Did _I_ do that? I like to think I did that! I'll leave you two lovebirds to it. Now kiss and makeup~"

"P*ss off!"

"I'm joking, it's not as if I didn't just catch you at it."

"Kiss me, Taku."

"Yama-chan!?You're just playing now! You really want to get on my nerves, don't you? Both of you ganging up on _me_ like that! Did you know this idiot couldn't see properly for six years and didn't tell anyone?"

"That's a bit far! Kiyama-kun, are you really going to need glasses?"

"We've already had the appointment, we collected the prescription today." Mizusawa answers for him.

"It's a pain."

"I think they'd suit you. I can just see you now in a suit with glasses as a salaryman."

"Oi, don't fantasise about my Yama-chan."

"It wasn't anything Etchi, with what you've exposed me to today, you're lucky I've _never_ once pictured him without clothes on. Getting all territorial on your _sister_." She scoffs. "Anyway, when you think of a way to stop me, do your worst!" She sticks her tongue out.

"I find that hard to believe, with all the stories I've told you…"

"Why would I? He's too _male_ for my liking."

"He doesn't even want to be a salaryman with a boring desk job…" He nearly chokes. "I just realised something!"

"Tell me!"

"It doesn't concern the likes of you, you dosey cow."

"You're _so_ cheeky, how can you speak like that to your older sister?"

"She says worse."

"There's no cursing allowed in _my_ house."

"I know _all_ about your potty mouth Kiyama-kun."

"But my family wouldn't accept it and that's the way it's gonna stay, I won't even blaspheme in front of them out of respect."

"More like to avoid getting the slipper." They share a laugh and Mizusawa's older sister starts to finally excuse herself.

"Ok, you kids have fun!" The shuts the door. Mizusawa jumps onto Kiyama's lap and sits facing him.

"Oi, I get it you're mad at me. You were a bit rough with that pillow too. I've already got enough bruises for one day. I might not make a sound, like you would, but I _can_ feel pain."

 _I've opened the floodgates now, he's telling me stuff!_

"You didn't react, so didn't think I'd got the message across. You need punishing."

"Looks like you've come around to my way of thinking." He tries to kiss him.

"No, no, you still owe me that apology. From the second you got in my bad books and I sat you down on this sofa I wanted to try 'angry sex'."

"I'm not mad at you".

"Exactly."

"But!" He shushes him with an outstretched index finger. "I'm not mad at you either, after all that sentimental stuff. I still…"

You're gonna be a teacher with glasses~! And that is _so_ sexy."

"You kinky pervert!"

"Yeah, but you love it!"

"You've got a thing for teachers!"

" _What_? Kashiwagi-sensei and Yankumi have taught me it's quite and honorable profession. Giving back to the community and inspiring generations to come… You _do_ have a way with people though. You always offer help to those that need it, like Satoshi. You may be reckless with taking care of yourself, but others! Most people have different priorities and that's what makes you special. Make sure you tell all those teenage girls that will be all over you, you've got me!"

"Teachers shouldn't mix their personal lives with work. It's not professional. Anyway, what are you suggesting? Surely you've heard of safeguarding. Gay or not, married or not I'd lose my job for getting involved with them. Don't let your pervertedness get in the way of understanding right and wrong. I'm sure even if you haven't started yet, you should know that sort of thing is a criminal offense."

"I'm kidding, you don't have to be so serious _all_ the time."

"Remember your argumentative nature and skill for seeing people's true nature isn't enough to be a good lawyer."

"It helps!"

"Yes, but you need evidence and even with your job making groundless claims or being too critical of people is just harassment."

"I won't banter with the people on trial, I only speak my mind with people I'm close to, I'm only polite to people I don't care about. If I'm rude to you, take it as a compliment."

"Hmm…"

"If I pick on you, it's because I like you. It's how I have fun so if I'm joking with you I respect you enough to be myself. Yes that may be a bit obnoxious and opinionated but at least I'm relaxed enough to be open. Besides have you ever seen me lose an argument?

 _We both know you lost that time when you hurt me and made a big fuss out of it… You agreed to let it go and not bring it up for my sake… Thanks, I suppose I am the only one you can ever lose to in an argument… The only one that can keep you quiet. The one thing that you find most difficult, you put up with for my sake... Pretending not to be gay for all this time must've been tough, I'm still yet to make that up to him... Even if it got out somehow, he tired, that's what counts…_

"Yeah, you really do like to talk, don't you? I can imagine them letting you win just to shut you up. I suppose not being able to keep your mouth shut in even the most tense situation would be an asset to any lawyer. I can't really think of a more ideal job for you. Just don't be too harsh, you can't get away with that kind of thing in formal situations like that."

"I'll be more mature by the end of Uni. I'll be a pro!"

"As long as you get paid for what you do you are a 'professional', but it's also a state of mind."

"I'm glad that I've got you talking but if you keep lecturing me like this, Kiyama-sensei~... I won't be in the mood~"


	154. Chapter 154 just Mizusawa and Kiyama

"That's fine."

"I thought you were turned on."

"I am."

"You don't mind not doing it?"

"Why would I?"

"I'm blue balling you!"

"This isn't the usual time so, we'd end up doing it again later."

"You don't react to anything, do you? Not even a sad face? I'm trying to tease you, take the bait!"

"Erm…"

"It won't work, if you don't retaliate."

"Don't quit now."

"Saying it in monotone doesn't work for me."

 _I'm not bothered if we stop now…_

"Please, Taku-chan~" He bites his bottom lip and looks up at him pleadingly.

"That face! Oh! Nice tactic."

"Thanks."

"I knew you had it in you, I have to initiate everything, don't I?" Kiyama shrugs. "Imagine if it was you and another quiet guy. You'd just both sit there in silence, like Nova and Sado! You'd never shag, but the likes of you would probably be quite content with that."

"You make it entertaining, I know. You're the salt to my pepper."

"The Quirrel to your Voldermort!"

"Exactly, I wouldn't change you, as loud and offensive as you are, I love you that way."

"I love you too, it's so important to find someone that accepts you for who you are, I'd get fed up of being 'nice' all the time, that's just not who I am. I'm glad you have the patience and humour to never get upset with all the terrible things I say. I've realised, as much as I enjoy being annoying, I can't cope with the touchy-feely types, I always end up getting it wrong."

"It pissed off Akabane to no end when I didn't make a sound, face or resist to him beating me up. I think he's a bit of a sadist, it was quite funny. He looked like he seriously wanted to kill me, but I knew he couldn't since I was his hostage I can kind of see why you like frustrating people. Wait, if you can't deal with people like that, you're _not_ dissatisfied with my low emotional capacity?"

"Not because I don't want you to have feelings, but because it's nice to be able to speak to my heart's content without worrying about hurting them. I know there are a few odd ones you can't hide. You don't get embarrassed, but you get jealous, because you don't doubt for one second that I'd get fed up of you and try to replace you. You think it's inevitable, but I _never_ will, you're full of surprises. Though, that's probably because you don't disclose _anything_ without being prompted. You don't get excited, but you're really passionate and quietly confident, which I like. You just need to have a higher opinion of yourself."

"I'll try, let's hope I don't get as arrogant as you. If we end up both being big-headed tossers we'd clash after realising how _perfect_ we are for each other." He teases.

"Tell me all the things about me you would change, if you had a chance to."

"There is nothing I would change."

"That's a cop-out. Don't act like there's _nothing_ wrong with me. What are your pet peeves then?"

"You can't walk past a shop without trying to shop. I'll never understand the appeal of picking outfits. I just wear whatever my mother buys because I couldn't care less."

"Ok, and?"

"You talk with your mouth full, that's probably the most obnoxious thing that you do."

"Something worse than that."

"Whenever you take a phone call you speak really loudly, so loud that I can hear you from a different floor, let alone a different room, plus you make hand gestures even though that person on the phone can't see you."

"What else do I do?"

"You care about me too much."

"There's no such thing as too much."

"You're the first person that has ever chosen to take my silence as an invitation to find out what I'm thinking. Others would assume that because I don't choose to share that sort of thing, there's nothing for them to find out. I know you've seen it as a guessing game until now, but you're the first to actually try. I say you care too much because you care more about my feelings than I do. You don't have to worry about your flaws because you'll never stop being too good for me."

"Oh, Yama-chan! You think I'm perfect and accept all my egotistical, self-centred, vain, arrogant, obnoxiousness that drives others crazy even after short periods of time? You're just so selfless and humble, you don't care, it's not a competition, since you love me as much as I love my self?"

"I love you more than you love yourself."

"If such a level exists."

"Don't change, to me your attitude is refreshing. I'd actually rather not have any kind of fuss made over me in any situation. I'd prefer it if you were the one that stood out more, because if I get too much attention I get sick of it."

"I see, your introvertedness is complementary to how outgoing I am?"

"It looks like it."

"It all works out, me having a thing for teachers and _you_ becoming one!… Should I call you sir in the bedroom?" He cocks an eyebrow, suggestively.

"Do you want me to think of you every time a pupil tries to get my attention?"

"Oh, sir I want you to give me an extension~" He grabs his own rear end for emphasis. "Are you going to give me the cane sir?" Kiyama tenses as Mizusawa tests more phrases. "Sir, isn't there _any_ way I can work my way out of that detention? I like the ring it has to it. How about you? Yama-chan? Oi!" He pats his cheek with an open palm.

"Eh?"

"You're into it! Ha!" Kiyama takes him into his arms and pushes him down to lay on the sofa then kisses him. Mizusawa starts to get into it again, when Kiyama interrupts.

"Let's go upstairs."

"Yes sir."

"I'll take you _right_ here and now if you're not careful."

"I'm sure I'd be incompatible with you weren't at least a little bit as kinky as me."

"..."

"Admit it, you like the thrill being caught in the act…" Kiyama says nothing. "Like I said no shame." Mizusawa has a sudden realisation. "Wait _sir_ , put your glasses on! I wanna see you in them, you can't avoid it forever."

"I can."

"You can't keep putting it off, you need to wear them every day to prevent your eyesight from getting worse. You may have pulled acting as if you didn't have a problem off very well until I caught you, but I'm not gonna let you keep _anything_ you perceive to be a weakness in, from now on."

"Please no."

"Sorry, it's about time I found all this out for myself." Kiyama does as he's told and fetches the pair of glasses. He puts them on and blinks in astonishment. "What's the problem?"

"So, _that's_ what your face looks like? You've got an ugly mug, haven't you?"

"Yama-chan!"

"I'm so _w_ y, did I hurt your fee _w_ ings, Taku-chan? You're much _much_ more handsome than I imagined!" He teases.

"Really?"

"No." Mizusawa frowns. "I'm joking, I _could_ see before I put the glasses on."

"Just about."

"My eyesight wasn't _that_ bad. I never really needed glasses in the first place."

"Yes you did. They suit you, you look well fit! How do they feel?"

"Ok."

"Give me a proper opinion."

"I like being able to see in decent resolution."

"Look over them! Oh, that gives me chills. You're like an angry librarian. Now push them back with the heal of your palm."

"You're a horny little tosser, aren't you?"

"I wouldn't be if you'd hurry up and satisfy me, you tempter, you."

"It's not my fault you're so close with your sister that rather than running away and screaming she'll sit there and try to make _you_ feel uncomfortable. After what _she_ saw? I still can't wrap my head around that."

"These are the times we live in, Yama-chan, even boys are a lot more open now."

"I know that, you're ridiculously expressive."

"So what if I am? I still excite you don't I?"

"Obviously, it'd be boring if we were two people that were too alike."

"I think it's interesting to see your interpretation of boring."

"What's yours?"

"I'd say watching paint dry or grass grow, but they say the truly educated person can never be bored... In all the years that they've been married, you've never seen your parents kiss each other have you?"

"Of course not, that would be improper. Don't tell me you've seen yours? So that's why you're _so_ unreserved and outspoken?"

"I wouldn't say that, but your parents haven't ever told you they love you, have they?"

"We'll save that discussion until they're on their deathbed. That's what makes it special, the more frequently you use it the less value it has. I know they love me it doesn't need to be said."

"So _that's_ why you never say what's on your mind?"

 _Hamada was right about us needing to have this conversation..._

"Taku-chan~ Aren't we getting a bit off track?" He hints flirtatiously.


	155. Chapter 155 just Mizusawa and Kiyama

en from your individual name."

"It was a bit of a shock."

"I probably chose to say it because your individual name is five syllables, mine's two. Your parents probably didn't think about poor old me trying to call you by it."

"Or me learning how to write it as a child. That's three kanji yours is one."

"You know you talk about me over exaggerating and being a drama queen when Kiyama is easy to write and the ichi!"

"I'm not complaining it's just something to consider. Also, they didn't have a choice with the family one."

"Ryuichiro… It's so long, grand and posh."

"I wouldn't say _that_ , I hardly get called by it. Just by my family and we don't talk that much."

"If I had to have dinner in silence more than once a week, I would lose the plot. I'd say calling you Yama-chan is decently familiar."

"Agreed."

"Now, time to get to grips with your feelings." Kiyama nods defeatedly as he gives into accepting the inevitable onslaught of questions about his emotions.

"I'll tell you whatever you wanna hear, as long as you don't start making those sorry faces. I don't need anyone's pity. Don't take any of what I say to heart or feel guilty, because I'm _really_ fine."

"Ok, I'll keep that in mind and not get too serious again."

"So, today and probably from now on I'm letting my guard down?"

"After nearly three years I think it's about time."

"You really want this conversation, don't you? I was taught this kind of thing is personal, so I'm not keen, but, it's nice to see that you care about my feelings more than you care about shagging in the daytime…" Uncharacteristically, Mizusawa decides to ignore the suggestion that sex is still an alternative.

"Why don't we start by me getting to the bottom of what I already know? You're too shy to come up and hug me, unless it's to calm me down, distract me or apologise. You never said you loved me until I said it first. It took me a full year to coax it out of you. You know people betray each other from time to time and have a fear of being abandoned. You won't open your heart to anyone because you're scared of being hurt again or even worse hurting them."

 _He's good at this, understanding things about me I've never even considered…_

"I see, you wanted me to say I loved you, before you jumped into bed with me? You really are touchy=feely aren't you?"

"To be honest, I was waiting for you to ask, then you didn't after all that time so, I decided you were waiting for me to ask."

"So, that was when you came to the conclusion that you were the top? This might be strange coming from me but I think we should have communicated more in the early days."

"You can get where I was coming from, though, I had to initiate everything, including kisses! It's not as if you did anything to persuade me otherwise. I was even the one that asked _you_ out in the first place. I seriously thought 'everything adds up now'. As surprised as I was, I accepted it quite quickly, it made sense that you were shy and I had to take control over everything. Plus, there's the fact you hadn't done any research so I had to teach you _everything…_ "

"It's not as if there was anyone for me to ask."

"You were _so_ naive, what did you think being gay was? Holding hands and hugging?" Kiyama shrugs. "You see what I mean? You're always so bashful and quiet, even to this day we've never done anything without me asking first."

"I was indifferent, not unwilling. I'm glad I can finally see where you got that impression from." "Having never done it, it wasn't as if anything would change. Obviously, we did it on our first anniversary -the day I got you to tell me you loved me- for the _first_ time, but…"

"It's so odd how we never talked about who was going to do what, before we tried?"

"It's not as if I planned to take the lead before mustering up the courage to ask out a yankee, but I was so sure of myself at the time… Wait a minute, you did it again! I was getting too deep into the psychology behind your behaviour so you tried to start another argument…"

"And succeeded."

"Yama-chan! I may be 'overly' concerned with emotions, but at least I understand them." "Sorry, it's just hard to get used to this. I said I wouldn't keep anything from you if you asked but it's not what I'm used to. I just don't want to say anything unnecessary and burden you with my…"

"You can't say anything to burden me, trust me I want to know it all, _every_ detail about _everything_ that goes on in your head. Like, what were you thinking when I first said it and you looked at me like that?"

"I was thinking about how much I loved you back and how difficult it was to get the words out."

"So you didn't say anything? So you just walked away?"

"You know it's not that I didn't like you, I just never said that word before in my life, to anyone or about anything. As much as I wanted to, I wasn't ready. I so desperately wanted to share my feelings with you that, that was the first time I never felt disappointed in myself for not saying anything, because I hurt you."

"Don't tell me, you gave into my most recent difficult request, so quickly because you wanted to make it up to me? I know now that you weren't ready, but I would have waited another year if that's what it took. Even if you _never_ wanted to, I'd still love you."

"That's probably true but I couldn't possibly have known and…" Mizusawa stops his lips with a kiss. He wipes away the slowly building tear from his love's eye with the knuckle of his index finger, ever so gently, then embraces Kiyama.

"What was the reason that you couldn't say it?"

"I don't know why, I feel silly now, because it felt _so_ much better to get it out... I might have been embarrassed."

"You don't get embarrassed."

"That's what I thought, but when your most private and intimate feelings are being shown…" "It's uncomfortable for you." He pats Kiyama's back sympathetically, then lets go of him and takes his hand. "You were taught not to and for you being expressive is like what being naked for other people which for some reason you couldn't care less about. You're least comfortable with exposing your insides. Mizusawa carries on listing the things he knows about Kiyama. You don't _get_ horny but I can turn you on, if I put my mind to it."

 _That must be why I'm not turned on now… He stopped trying for too long and keeps talking about my feelings…_

"So, you never try _anything_ , unless it's to distract me from talking about something you'd rather I didn't, like now?"

"It works."


	156. Chapter 156 just Mizusawa and Kiyama

"You don't get mad when you're jealous, but it breaks your heart to think I'd abandon you or be unfaithful. You never let your emotions get the better of you or manipulate your behaviour. You're completely level-headed, unlike me. Although you can get carried away with your white knight complex and do stupid things, like today. The only thing that completely messes you up, is fear of losing someone you care about. Just stop me, when I'm wrong."

"I get it, I've got attachment issues." He takes this opportunity to slide down into a position where his head rests on Mizusawa's lap. He pats his head then absentmindedly runs his hand through his hair. "I don't need to hear anymore and you don't need to say anymore, I'm just glad you understand me. This just lets me know that by not saying anything before, I didn't really miss out on any communication because you read me so well."

"Oi!"

 _Let's not regress to you thinking it's ok for you to choose not to speak at all..._

"What? Didn't I just compliment you? It's clear to me that I don't need to say any more than I already have been because either way you understand what's going on."

"I still want you to talk to me."

"If I ever get horny, I'll tell you."

"Oh, Yama-chan that means a lot, it warms my hentai soul!" He teases.

"It's not very likely though, since I'm getting older and everything."

"Are you seriously planning on getting _even_ lower sex drive? Don't you dare get erectile dysfunction, I'll cry!"

"Oh, Taku-chan! You're thinking _that_ far into the future! When we're old and wrinkly? If we're still doing it, _I'll_ cry." They share a laugh.

"One second! If you can so easily fall asleep, without cumming do you never wank!?" Kiyama blushes.

 _So that's why he doesn't cooperate with phone-sex? 'I can keep talking while you carry on but it's not as if you'll hear a difference in my voice if I start'. He says. It's no wonder he was so uncomfortable with the idea… I didn't really have a clue that he didn't... It's probably too much of a hassle anyway. It's not and issue for him to sustain it, but without me there to get him going? Having to be so persistent then I'd finish and… I might hang up, I can't spend three hours on the phone, how can I ever explain that to my, mum, she knows he barely speaks... It would probably be a crap time for him. He's only ever agreed to shagging me because I asked not because he's the type to have sexual desires… That was a bit of a selfish ask..._

"How can one be so vulgar and yet so pure? I can see I've taught you everything you know, which means I'm responsible for your dirty mind."

"You _seriously_ changed me. I started to daydream and nothing could upset me for the following week. I felt like a different person since I wasn't always on the brink of explosion… I'd definitely found an outlet that wasn't football."

"I can accept that, but when I first gave you that hand job… You didn't react at all. My wrists hurt, by the way! I thought I'd given them plenty of exercise in the months leading up."

"I can imagine."

"That was your first ever orgasm!?" Kiyama nods seriously. "Why didn't you tell me that I rocked your world!?"

 _I wouldn't go that far… It was ok… It's not as if you need any sort of confidence boost..._

"I didn't know how."

"I thought I was doing it all wrong and I was just crap at it, that it was my fault it took so long, you didn't react, then left straight after. I had no clue that sort of thing could last _so_ long, plus I could get my hand around mine... Which brings me back to you, you had no idea what was _coming_ , but you let me? So you trusted me? I can't believe you didn't freak out at all. You didn't do anything to indicate you'd never experienced a thing like that before. Even then you didn't even give me a reaction face. I wish I knew what was going on."

"I'm glad I didn't know, because I might not've let you."

"Were you scared?"

"Not really. I was surprised, though."

"I know it's a long time ago but, now I know you'll answer my questions, I'm going to ask them. How did you feel?"

"Ok."

"I want more than that, was it good? Did you want more? Were you looking forward to the next time? Were you running away because you were worried I'd make you do it again?"

"I probably wanted to know how you knew that was possible."

"I have a _very_ open family and a good attendance record... Did I upset you?"

"No."

"Why did you go straight home after? I invited you to stay the night."

"I don't know."

*****FLASHBACK*****

 _I can't cry in front him, he's the only one that doesn't have the impression that I'm to be pitied... He's making me feel-... But I can't show this side in front of him, it'll weird him out and he won't want to talk to me, but he might stay because he's obligated... I don't like seeing people cry, either, it makes me uncomfortable, when I know I want to do everything I can to stop it but, I can't... I have to stay in control of my own emotions they're not gonna take over again. Not after Kono. I know fighting a rude person wasn't the way to stop his feelings from getting hurt but its too late now. I was wrong. It's been so long since I last let myself go, I can't start now, he'll think less of me like my mother did. I feel like his presence is changing me. He's making more open and I can't be, not in front of him. I don't wanna give that impression and make him lose respect for me. At least he's not soft on me…_ Kiyama locks the door and posts the key through the letterbox.

*****END OF FLASHBACK*****

"There has to be a reason, like the more recent time you ignored me. Were you confused?" "Maybe... I might just have felt a _bit_ guilty. Don't ask me why."

"I know why."

"Can you tell me, please?"

"Even after being told your feelings weren't wrong, you couldn't help but feel your actions were. I think you might not have been ready, even then. Woah! This is giving me so much closure! I should have forced you into talking a long time ago, otherwise I just imagine things."

"Like what?"

"Like that me touching you grossed you out, like you were ignoring me because I'd done something to upset you. When you left, I thought it was over and it _was_ my fault for rushing you. It was the first time you came to stay, I thought you'd never want to be alone with me again. Yet the following Monday you acted like nothing happened."

"I'm sorry I worried you."

"I understand you now, but before it was too early to have an idea of what was going through your head. I thought you hated me when you left."

"I'm sorry."

"I should have asked, rather than feeling sorry for myself. At least I can ask now. How was it for you?"

"It was ok."

"Was it a good experience or a bad experience?"

"...Good."

"Why didn't you say so?"

"I thought I squeezed your hand when it happened."

"I expected something like that, it was a bit subtle."

"I _was_ out of breath after."

"You held your breath before you came, you must have been worried and not able to tell me." "I'm glad you get it."

"I get that much, but you didn't talk to me for a week after you didn't even so much as look at me. You've got to understand why I thought you'd broken up with me over that."

"I wish my strange behaviour didn't make you feel so insecure."

"When I went up to you that Friday to try to make amends you just asked when we'd next spend time together…"

*****FLASHBACK*****

"Here."

"Eh?"

 _He really is breaking up with me! He's returning my belongings!_

"You gave this to me."

 _He looks upset... Maybe he wasn't really ready to talk to me again..._

"Eh?"

 _I know leaving in the middle of the night without explanation is a big enough signal but is he even gonna give me any acknowledgement of what we had, or let me know what I did wrong? Everything was going well up until the handjob… It must've been my pace… Since he didn't make a move I must've been too fast for him..._

"Sorry, I should've given it back sooner, I finished it overnight."

 _When I went home after dirtying his bed… I had to do something, it was really hard to get to sleep that night... He hasn't really said anything so he must've forgiven me._ Not knowing whether or not he was the reason he couldn't sleep, he gives Mizusawa back the volume and smiles while reminiscing. _Reading that book and getting a slight glimpse into your life made me feel like I wanted to get to know you even more… I'm so glad you came back. I didn't mind how long it took you._

"Are you coming do mine today or tomorrow? I still need to make them like you, even if it's a quarter of the amount I do."

*****END OF FLASHBACK*****


	157. Chapter 157 just Mizusawa and Kiyama

"And you didn't bring up what happened. I was so pleased you still liked me, I didn't even bother asking why you avoided me. What was wrong with you?"

"I thought it was your fault that my pyjamas were soaked every night after that. I was worried there was something wrong with me.

"You _do_ jizz a lot. I thought it was strange how it just kept spurting out at such a high velocity the first time, but that would have been building up for ages. After that, you must've started having nocturnal emissions, because I'd got the machinery going and you've never done anything about it in the daytime. Yikes, that must have been tough and you still couldn't tell anyone. You poor thing." He pats Kiyama's head sympathetically, then lets his ego get the better of him when he realises the times Kiyama looked at him, then immediately looked away he wasn't feeling disgusted. "You were having wet dreams about me! That time in the university storage cupboard… That must've been a week's worth!"

"I was so ashamed of… M _yself_ I couldn't look at you but I still wanted to. After a full week of avoiding you, I woke up in my bed with you by my side and dry pyjamas for the first time since I first went to your house I thought you'd cured me and that avoiding you was the only root of my problems. Seeing you… Do that, even if it didn't take you anywhere near as long made me so relieved, I finally understood what your true aim was the week before and that I wasn't strange. The sounds you made really intrigued me and if it makes you feel any better, I was interested in helping you make more."

"Now _that_ fuels my hentai soul! I wonder how many weeks I'd have to abstain to make _you_ horny."

"If you wanna try, I'm open to it."

"Of course _you'd_ be open to a thing like that. It's definitely off the table, I need you to satisfy me. I'm sure your overactive balls will thank me. I think there must've been like a litre that weekend."

"You're exaggerating."

"It was like you gave me an enema."

"That's too much information, stop being a drama queen. You're lucky there was no second round."

"Am I now?"

"Tsuchiya would have caught us. I don't want to think about what would have happened to his heart then. He was so worried about you he started running after I said you were trying to catch the bus then collapsed."

"Poor Satoshi."

"He might have thought we were fighting after all that unnecessary drama and tried to break us up."

"If he succeeded he might have seen your boner and run for the hills."

"'Run for the hills?' I could've killed him if he dropped dead after overexerting himself..."

"No, it's a medical problem."

"Yeah, but he can lead a full life with normal expectancy."

"Then it'd surely be equally both our faults."

"No, I'm the scary one, I would have frightened him to death. This is why private things should be kept private, no matter how thrilling."

"So, you enjoy breaking the rules?"

"Being restricted makes the little things more fun and a life on the edge seems so much more attractive..."

"So you wouldn't mind giving anyone a heart attack, so long as it wasn't Satoshi?"

"Is it really _that_ scary looking?"

"No, but it's huge. I'm gay and if I'd seen that in my first year I would've fled."

"You did see it."

"Yeah and I stayed because I loved you, even then. Size doesn't matter."

"That's easy for you to say."

"You don't like it?"

"I'm indifferent, though I'd rather not scare people. Modest and functional is fine by me."

"It's such a fine tool, you should embrace it."

"I suppose you appreciate the way it feels but otherwise it's an eyesore."

"I thought you didn't get ashamed."

"If I had a sense of shame I wouldn't have gone in the store cupboard in the first place and I wouldn't have disgraced myself and my family all those years ago. It's what keeps leading me to all those irrational decisions, my thoughtlessness and my carelessness. I think my problem is that I don't care what people think of me, so I was first in that shower, only thinking of myself and how I could avoid you. The more time I spent at close proximity to you, the more at risk I was of having a slip-up and getting _too_ comfortable with you. If we spoke for long periods of time I'd end up getting overfamiliar. I don't really care what people think, but I do care how I make people feel and if I ruin their day or mood, it's a shame on me."

"So, you couldn't care less about being naked in front of the others, what you didn't want was to have a spectacle made out of you?"

"I just hoped no one would look in the shower because obviously I didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable. I know a fair few girls look at me in disgust because I can't even hide it when I'm wearing trousers. You should have seen Nippori's face, he definitely wasn't ready to see a thing like that. He looked as if he was ready to be sick. I probably did scare him."

 _I should have been more considerate before thoughtlessly going in there and causing distress… How heartless of me..._

"Yama-chan, you're not as gross as you think, they were checking you out." Kiyama gives him a puzzled look."Either way, it's what's up here." He points to his heart. "And up here." He points to his head. "That counts, even if I was worried about being split in two, none of that ever really bothered me. Obviously, even though you're fit, a magnificent specimen, ' _Adonis_ ' if you will..."

"I don't think I'd go _that_ far, it's just basic, mediocre at best." He quickly interrupts the shower of praise and adoration that makes him want to melt into a puddle on the floor or become less dense than the sofa he's sitting on and fall through it.

"If you're _that_ middle of the road, average, what does that make me?"

"You're special to me."

"You've never once thought that you were out of my league?"  
"Are you kidding? I thought I was lucky to get a second look from you."

 _He obviously didn't think about how useless I am on the inside… The external appearance means nothing when it's just a surface covering up a steaming pile of..._

"That's weird, I'm glad you're satisfied… I'd started getting to know you, before I judged your body _._ It was just a bonus, a welcome surprise."

"We definitely interpret things in different ways, I'd rather not have anything quantified masculinity or otherwise based on the size of something that is determined by nature, that's strange to me."

"You're right, it should be based on your actions and then, in that case, the strongest out of the team must be Satoshi."

"Satoshi pushes himself too hard."

"Like a certain someone I know."

"I had to carry him to the training centre to get some extra medicine after he ran to catch up with you, he didn't even stop to think for a second about his condition."

"I love your caring side~ No wonder you and Satoshi get on so well, he's your otouto-bun, isn't he? You're both stubborn and pay a lot of attention to other people's needs before thinking of yourself."

"Actually, I haven't been thinking of your needs your boner's been poking me in the ear for the past however long but, I'm just laying here comfortably, letting you psychoanalyse me."

"I wouldn't go so far as to say this is a psychoanalysis. Yes, I'm probing a bit too deep for your liking but really, I'm _just_ talking to you and trying to get to the bottom of some things that were bothering me. Anyway, at least now you know if you ever have a problem or get confused about the way you feel you can come to me."

"I've always known that, it's just difficult to confess my feelings to anyone."

"I'm not anyone I'm _the_ one."

"You're the only one... I'd never even think of telling anyone but you how I feel. I _am_ only telling you because you asked me to, but you're the only one I'd give an answer."

"I wonder why…"

"You're just trying to pull more out of me aren't you? But I'll play along for your sake. I can tell you, because when I talk to you it's not as if you don't already know the answer."

"Most of the time."

"It's like I'm thinking or talking to myself because you _are_ my other half, my better half…" Mizusawa leans down and kisses him. "You said some of the things I did bothered you, tell me what?"

 _He wants me to change again, I need to listen so I know what to do..,_

"I'm _really_ getting through to you, aren't I? Now, rather than me just telling you how I feel you're enquiring about me, that _is_ different! Since you asked so nicely, I'll have to tell you."

"It's not as if I could stop you from telling me."

"Ok, I won't get carried away. As you well know, it was also a sensitive time for me. I was so excited to have you over. 'My first love, loves me back!', 'We're alone!', 'I've got you to myself!', 'He'll do anything that I say'. Obviously, I'm a hentai so I was _so_ excited. I thought you knew what you were in for and I was _so_ ready, not that it means anything if one half of a pair is ready."

"Ready for what?"

"I didn't really plan what I was going to do with you, but I had nothing but Etchi things in mind."

"Gross."

"I know, I was also a horny teenager, we've established this. It all makes sense now but you were so timid and obedient."

"I wouldn't say I was 'timid' or 'obedient' I was just trying so hard to get back on the right path. Up until that point, I didn't know how to properly behave, so I was just concerned with doing as I was told, to avoid trouble. I regretted misbehaving for all those years in middle school I thought 'I might as well get this right'. Because I didn't know whether or not to trust myself after what I did, I decided the best thing was to let others tell me what to do. I'm glad you didn't take advantage."

"We never would have lasted this long, otherwise."

"True, my younger self probably would have gone home crying and pretended to be straight the rest of my life."


	158. Chapter 158 just Mizusawa and Kiyama

"What you're forgetting is that no matter how perverted I am, I was also very inexperienced at the time. I was having a lot of fun just being with you and as keen as I was, I wasn't that concerned with the progressing particularly quickly. To be honest, once I started I was so enthralled by the experience of touching my first penis, besides my own, I didn't wanna stop. It was mesmerising! All veiny and throbbing and scary looking. Touching it was enough."

"Don't tell me you prematurely ejaculated."

"Who's horror story is this anyway?"

"Yours."

"But…"

"I may be the one that ran out of your house upset, but you're the one bringing it up all these years later, why? Because you were unhappy with the outcome."

"Fine but I was a hentai, horny teenage boy and having my first sexual encounter. Can you blame me?"

" _I'd_ never do a thing like that."

"I know, you're not capable, because you can't lose control. Ok, now we've got that out of the way _I'm_ humiliated, _you're_ humiliated. After _that thing_ happened to me, I looked up at you and there was no expression on your face. It was taking forever and a day."

"You're exaggerating again."

"Anyway by that point, I was starting to notice how much my wrist ached. You showed no signs whatsoever, no heavy breathing, you didn't close your eyes. I thought I was just so rubbish, you were never gonna... So my first impression of that was that you weren't enjoying it. I thought you'd say something, but you didn't."

"What should I have said?"

"I know it was good now, but I'd have liked to hear it from you."

"I don't moan."

"I tried to look for hints with your face but you were just staring at my fist all stony-eyed and unreactive."

"I wonder how I'd feel if you did that to me? I'm used to it now but when I first reciprocated I was confused about why you were being so noisy."

"It was kinda cute how you were like 'Sorry I didn't mean to! Are you ok?'"

"It was over pretty quickly too."

"Don't comment on that, not everyone has as much stamina as you."

"I'm glad."

"Why?"

"It only took fifteen minutes when you topped. I'm not sure how much more of that I could've taken with a straight face."

"You took it like a champ… I've got one, more question about that."

"Ok, I'll allow it."

"I don't need your permission to speak, but I didn't want to upset you again. I just wanted to ask did you ever get hard that night?"

"No."

"Not even a little bit?"

"Sorry." Mizusawa slightly regrets asking that question."I thought we weren't bring that up."

"You brought it up, but I did want to thank you. I noticed you can keep a _few_ things to yourself no matter how hard you find it, when those things concern me, so thanks."

"Don't mention it. You just keep talking like you are today and I'll shut up more often."

"Not that I want you to. It's just good to keep private things private".

"With you, everything is private, unlike in my house."

"You can say that again."

*****FLASH BACK*****

"Thank you for the meal, Mrs Mizusawa."

"This is nothing special, it would have been better if I knew I was expecting a guest." She glares at her son.

"Sorry mum, I didn't want you to make a fuss in case he turned me down."

"You invited me, why wouldn't I be here?"

"Your parents don't like gay people."

"What does that have to do with them not letting me stay here?"

"You haven't told him!? If your parents don't like gay people, I think you're better off not staying the night, Kiyama-kun."

"Oh, I'm sorry to have disturbed you." He bows and collects his bag.

"Mum, don't scare him off. Come back."

"I thought I wasn't welcome. You are, you're _my_ guest, you can stay as long as you want or until _I_ dismiss you, not my parents."

"I think it's their choice, since it's their house. You should probably be more respectful to them."

"I like Kiyama-kun, he doesn't seem like the type to give backchat."

"Maybe if you'd disciplined me more."

"There you go again, giving me lip in front of the guest."

"What mum? I thought you were clever enough to realise that if you raised me as lenient as you have done, you'd be the one to have to deal with it."

"I'm causing you trouble, so I'll leave."

"Now _that_ is a well-raised boy."

"You _do_ realise you're commenting on your own failure as a parent?"

"I don't want to inconvenience you. I'll see you another time, Mizusawa."

"No, don't go, this isn't a real fight we always talk like this."

"Exactly, don't worry Kiyama-kun, I'm not actually angry, you can stay for pudding."

"I don't really like sweet things. Thank you for having me, I should probably go before it gets too dark."

"Do you drink iced coffee?"

"I'm not supposed to put unnecessary chemicals, like caffeine in my body according to my parents, but I don't mind it."

"Good there should be some cans in the fridge."

"Ok, as long as there isn't any sugar or cream in it, I think I'd enjoy something like that."

"It does have additives, but I can make some."

"I'd rather you didn't have to go through the trouble because I'm being too fussy."

"You're not being fussy, it's no problem, I can't just kick you out onto the street like that. I feel bad, you can stay a bit longer. Then go when you're ready."

"He can spend the _night_."

"Don't question your mother's authority, for my sake. I don't want you two to argue, I'll just go now and I'll see you on Monday."

"Yama-chan, wait! I don't want you to go, my mum is just being over the top and expecting the worst of me."

"Eh? Are you talking to me?"

"Yep!" Mizusawa is very sure of himself when he says this, then realises Kiyama might not be comfortable with it. "I've decided to address you informally... If that's ok."

"You can call me whatever you like, I've had worse."

"She's convinced I'm just going to be another hindrance to society, like she sees every day at work, because I'm such a trouble causer at home."

 _At least you're not a murderer… Your parents haven't got any reason to be disappointed in you…_ Kiyama frowns.

"I'll put the kettle on." Mizusawa's mum tries to cheer him up. "You'd be ok with fresh black coffee, wouldn't you?"

"That would be wonderful, if it's no trouble for you."

"Don't worry, you'd never be a bother to any of us Kiyama-kun. We want you to feel welcome and treat this as your second home."

"Come on Yama-chan, I don't plan on doing anything illegal, put your bag down and get comfortable. You're here for the night. I won't bite and neither will my mother she's just got a sharp tongue, like me." He pats Kiyama on the back as a friendly gesture and he flinches. Mizusawa doesn't take any notice and catches up with his mother.

"You're like _me_. I just can't believe you let him in the house, without telling him, that's so neglectful. If you got into any trouble and he made any allegations, I'd be at fault."

"He does know, mum. I'm not _that_ irresponsible."

"I don't want to cause you any trouble."

"I'm sure you won't, you _are_ welcome to stay, if that's what you feel comfortable with."

"Sorry for getting in the way."

"You're no trouble at all, if anything you make me have a tiny bit of regret for not raising Taku right."

"I like that he's outspoken, I'd just prefer that he wasn't as rude to you as he is."

"It's fine, we just like to express our feelings a lot in this house. I'm sorry I scared you off before. You're way more polite than the likes of us."

"Me 'polite'? I'm the loudest, least well behaved, most argumentative, least well-mannered person in my whole house."

"If you're the worst, your mother must be proud of herself."

"She's not because she could have done better, her mother tells her that if she weren't as career-orientated I might have come out better, all the time."

"I'm a career focused mother too, maybe we'd get along."

"No mum." Mizusawa argues.

"You shouldn't talk to her like that."

"He's right Taku, can I have her number please?"

"That's fine, I had to give her yours already as a condition of me staying here. She doesn't like people to call her work phone, but I've got the landline written down here."

"I don't like this, the blossoming of friendship between our mothers. They're gonna talk about us behind our backs."

They enjoy their dessert reasonably quietly for Kiyama's sake, but resume talking, later. "I've got something I want to show you upstairs."

"Ok." They excuse themselves and as they leave the room the rest of the family starts to gossip behind their back.


	159. Chapter 159 just Mizusawa and Kiyama

"Could he be a love interest?"

"He's a _lot_ more attractive and athletic than our Taku."

"Are you saying he's out of his league!?"

"Isn't he though?"

"Don't be mean."

"He's my little bro, sor-ry for not seeing the appeal." The parents shrug and carry on the conversation.

"He's really polite and mild-mannered."

"I know they're complete opposites."

"Are you saying opposites attract?"

"No, I'm saying he's a good catch."

"I don't know, I don't see how anyone so quiet could put up with Taku."

"Wel,l he _is_ at that age."

"Even if he didn't speak much he didn't seem like the submissive type."

"Whoever said Taku was the dominant type?"

"He's my boy and- Whoever said Kiyama-kun was gay?"

"That's a fair point." Meanwhile…

Mizusawa sneezes.

"Someone must be talking about me." Kiyama hands him a handkerchief.

"It's clean."

"I wouldn't be bothered either way."

 _How classy! I've never blown my nose on cloth before… Kiyama Ryuichiro? It's embroidered too!_

 _He doesn't have any problems with sharing with someone like me?_ Thinks Kiyama.

"Really?"

"Why would I care? There's no reason for me to be grossed out by you."

"You're too kind."

"There's nothing wrong with you."

"I'm not meant to put those chemicals into my body, but I still smoke and drink coffee… At first, I wasn't taking any notice of what my parents said. I was definitely going through a rebellious stage, but I've got a dependence now and I'm still doing it after saying I'd change my ways. I disgust myself and it's no wonder my parents are ashamed to have a son like me."

"As long as you're not hurting anyone else, I don't see what the big deal is."

"I suppose, if _I_ died prematurely from substance abuse no one would miss me. There is no downside besides me being dishonest, you're right."

 _I've yet to try drinking but it'd damage my liver… I don't mind being self-destructive but if I ever let myself go down that sort of path I won't accept an organ donation… I've made my bed with these lifestyle choices… I'd never let myself get in the way of a transplant for someone that deserves it more than me… Taking a hospital bed their time and resources? That would be an unthinkable burden… I just have to take care of myself and not get in the way… My parents may act as if me dropping dead wouldn't be a relief, but who are they kidding? The world is better of without me… I owe it to those two, their sacrifices won't be in vain as long as I keep going and don't cause any more trouble. That's why I decided not to get close to anyone... I can't keep going back on my word… I have to help people, the best I can. Anything to make my existence have value, to make up for my past selfishness… I need to put others first even if it means hurting myself… As much as I don't want to live without him, Mizusawa needs to find a way to get away from me… That should probably be the first sacrifice I make..._

"I'd hardly call the use of caffeine and nicotine substance abuse… And I'd miss you!"

 _Their I was thinking I was dramatic..._

"You would?"

"How long have we been seeing each other?"

"Three months and three weeks."

"It's been fun hasn't it?"

 _Isn't it strange how I've been seeing you for so long and I've never seen your penis?_ Mizusawa thinks, as he tries to engage in a little bit more physical contact. He gently rubs Kiyama's forearm but he doesn't seem open to it and withdraws slightly from Mizusawa's increasingly courageous fingers.

"It has."

 _He's not leaving me, is he? It was only a matter of time before he realised how useless I am… It's fair enough, I accepted him against my better judgement… He must have seen through me pretending to be a decent person and as much as I don't want it to end it's for the best… I knew that I shouldn't really be getting close to people… It was so fun while it lasted the fact that I'm always causing other people must've slipped my mind… I really_ _ **am**_ _useless, I couldn't even protect_ _ **him**_ _from my own careless actions, what made me think it would work out better this time? I don't deserve to be here, not in this house, not even on this earth… He could do so much better, I've never been good enough for him, when he says it, I'll know I was right all along. He's better off getting rid of me before it's too late._

"Don't make a face like that." He scrapes a loose strand of Kiyama's hair up and sweeps it behind his ear. "You seem a bit uneasy. What are you thinking?"

"I'm wondering why you brought me up here."

"I know it's a bit early to be going to sleep, but don't worry it's nothing bad. What did you think of my family?"

"They're alright, a bit loud for my liking."

 _At least he's honest._

 _Crap, I accidentally misspoke, I was too busy thinking about the fate of this relationship..._

"I'm sorry if my family talked at you for too long."

"It was fine, I think it was nowhere near as disturbing as you made it out to be. They were just a little bit more handsy than I'm used to, _way_ more than I've ever experienced."

"You haven't seen anything yet." He laughs and puts his hand on Kiyama's back, this time, he lingers a lot longer. Kiyama, takes a bit of time to adjust to the sudden touch.

"I never thought I'd meet anyone more dramatic than you."

"My mum can be a _bit_ much, sometimes."

"I can see where you get your boisterous nature from."

"I bet it's nothing like that at your house."

"Yeah, we have dinner in silence. Not a single sound can be made not even from the mouth when eating. It's very important to be respectful at my house. I've never really been told why we have those rules but once, when my little brother asked me I told him it was to be fair to the monks that took a vow of silence. He always asks questions, that's probably part of the reason he's so clever."

"I see, if you don't talk, what do you do for fun at home?" He takes Kiyama's hand and pats a space next to himself on the bed.

"I've got my own room but I'm never really in it, unless I'm studying. Otherwise, I have to make myself useful and stay out of the way at the same time... I always do what I'm told and help with the chores, so I'm usually busy but for fun, I like to read or take care of the garden. My dad built a zen garden..."

 _In memorial…_ Kiyama has a melancholy look on his face, Mizusawa can see something is up and pulls Kiyama's hand over onto his lap and places his free hand on top. He caresses it affectionately.

"Are you ok?"

"Even if I wasn't, you being here'd make it better. I'm always strangely calm in the garden, it just gives you a sense of serenity. Even when the wind comes and blows away the detail, putting it back is just part of the process. It always seems like a worthwhile occupation even if it was hard to get used to it at first. I was..." He clears his throat and Mizusawa urges him on. "A bit ticked off the first time I woke up and all my hard work was gone. It was tricky to use the tools for the first time and get an outcome I was pleased with, as you can imagine."

"Then it was as if you hadn't done _anything_ the following day!?" Kiyama nods. "Besides reading and gardening?"

"I taught my little brother shogi. He is yet to beat me, but he's really skilled and shows a lot of potential, despite the age gap, each game is a challenge, because he always puts up a good fight."

"How old is he?"

"He's twelve, but he's always been a prodigy. He's my parent's favourite because he'll probably become an elite. While I'm a 'mediocre' undecided 'hooligan'."

"I don't get how you can live in such a grand place and stay so humble." It doesn't take Mizusawa long to revert from being concerned about Kiyama to being concerned about his own dirty plans. He lets his hand casually flop down onto Kiyama's lap simultaneously with his praise, it gradually creeps upward.

"It's not mine, I just live there. I'm not going to inherit it, my older brother who's already at university will. He's way smarter than me and he's never done a single thing to upset my parents in his whole life."

"How do you know that? You weren't around."

"They told me. I'm the black sheep of the family, I'm just one big failure. They told my little brother not to look up to me because I'm not a very good role model. It's true, I just make one mistake after another."

"Everyone makes mistakes."

"Yeah, maybe one or two but _everything_ I do is wrong."

 _Him being humble makes sense now..._

"I'm glad I'm not getting the temple, I'd probably just mess it up. I don't need the responsibility of something like that. I'd end up letting my parents down even more. I'm happy to just follow my own path. My brother would have been a pilot if he wasn't the oldest. He's already got a flying licence but he doesn't really get to pick it as his profession, like he always wanted. At least I get to make my own life choices. If I move out they'll forget about me and I won't have to bother them anymore." Mizusawa hugs him. He squeezes Kiyama very tightly and for a reason unbeknownst to him his cheeks warm up and his heart starts beating faster. His face, however, remains the same.

 _So he's the middle child? He doesn't get any recognition as being either the greatest or the least, he's probably used to not getting any attention and being left to his own devices. Anyone would end up acting out after being ignored… No wonder he got into a lot of trouble at his old school… I still can't get him to go into detail about it... It does make sense that he'd see himself as a disappointment to his parents... Poor creature! I can see the pain in his eyes. It's no wonder he works so hard to keep his head down and behave, even without recognition… He feels like he owes his parents to make up for whatever he did before… He even thinks he shouldn't be gay!..._

"I _really_ like you."

"Thanks." He sits up and Mizusawa let's go, feeling rejected.

 _Now I've told him that I'm just an eyesore that gets in the way at home he feels sorry for me... I never should have opened my mouth... It does mean a lot to me though, at least one person likes me, not that I deserve it..._

"Don't you like me too?" He grabs and squeezes Kiyama's hand for emphasis.


	160. Chapter 160 just Mizusawa and Kiyama

"You don't need to ask a silly question like that."

"Do you or don't you?"

"Would I have said 'yes' to you if I disliked you?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

"Would I be in your bedroom on your bed holding your hand if I disliked you?"

"I would hope not." Kiyama pats his head as if to say, 'you were wrong to question my sincerity, but I forgive you'. "Do _you_ like me?"

"What do _you_ think?"

"You do?" He asks optimistically.

"That's right, I thought you knew."

"I can't _know_ anything, unless _you_ tell me."

"I'm sorry, but you know now." Mizusawa inches closer to Kiyama and leans his head onto his chest anticipating a forehead kiss, instead Kiyama tenses, still yet to become accustomed to these strange displays of affection and extremely close proximity. Mizusawa gets tired of waiting and decides to press his lips onto Kiyama's unsuspecting mouth. He doesn't kiss back, which frustrates Mizusawa.

"Don't you like what I'm doing?"

"I can't complain."

"Would you rather I stopped?"

"Ermm..."

"Tell me."

"I don't know."

"Yes or no?"

"Not really."

"Ok, I'll keep going but I want you to try to enjoy it more. I'm gonna start again and I want you to kiss me back, like I showed you before."

"Sorry, you surprised me,"

"You don't have to keep apologising, you haven't done anything wrong."

 _It's gonna be tough to convince him I'm not disappointed in him and he's not letting me down. I don't want him to keep thinking he's got no value…_ He sits on Kiyama's lap facing him and goes for it more this time. "See, it's better when we _both_ participate."

"I agree."

 _He still hasn't got a boner, even now in private, he can relax now, there's no need for him to worry about us being disturbed here... I'm already_ _ **really**_ _excited..._

"You might agree but you're not _enjoying_ it, as much as I thought you would."

"Ok, I'm sorry for not meeting your expectations."

"Yama-chan, you don't have to keep speaking so formally. I know it's not like that where you come from but, it makes me feel more comfortable. I can understand that it might pain you slightly every time you do something that is against your parent's wishes, but what they don't know can't hurt them. I want you to know that you can be yourself with me. We're both lads you don't have to worry about me having delicate ears or whatever nonsense, you can treat me like a normal friend, except we're _more_ than friends! You don't have to hide _anything_ from me, or worry about making a good impression. I won't judge you, not even if it's foul language, whatever comes to your mind you can say it. I know you wanted to say you were p*ssed about your garden getting ruined overnight. " Kiyama chokes. "I'm used to that sort of thing. Nothing you say can offend me, unless it's that you hate me and never want to see me again."

 _The only thing you can possibly do to upset me is to stay quiet and leave me to theorise about what's really going on..._

"I can't see why I'd ever want to say anything like that to you, this is fun."

"Ok, it's just that you're not showing it. It's fine if you're not _that_ into kissing there's something else I'd like to try." He slips his hand up and over Kiyama's groin, then groans slightly as he realises there had been no developments since before. Kiyama stops him.

"Wait!"

"What is it?"

"The real me isn't anywhere near as nice as I'm being. You'll be almost as disgusted with me as my family is."

"I won't, I'm one of the most unkind people you'll ever meet! From now on whenever we meet, you can open up to me. It'll be boring if you just keep trying to spare my feelings. I like honesty and as long as you have good humour, we can have a laugh and you don't have to worry about me getting hurt feelings."

"It might take me a while to settle into being myself but I'm sure you'll be fine if you tell me what you don't like. I'll try being myself and if you don't like it, I'll understand..."

 _That you'd rather live the rest of your life apart from me._

"I wish I didn't need to give you permission to be yourself, but I hope that's from now on you'll be a lot more outgoing and willing to do things in spite of what your parents might think."

"I used to do that before and it got me into a lot of trouble."

"I won't dislike you for being you, because I don't think there's anything wrong with you being yourself."

"I am terrible, you just haven't seen it yet."

"Well, we'll be terrible together then. I need you to return my banter, otherwise, I just feel like a bully. I don't need you to go easy on me I'm not soft, I just stay out of trouble. Do you seriously think that when I asked you out, I was planning on having polite conversation with you? I wanted someone I could properly play with and someone who is rough and wild as I am on the inside."

"I'm not wild, but I can be rough, a bit _too_ rough, that's why I try to avoid it. As I said, I don't like to lose control but you seem to be the only person that can make me. Maybe it's because when I'm with you I don't care, at least not anymore, not since you helped me to relax with you at the start. I don't _really_ have anything to hide, I just find it difficult to voluntarily give information."

"If there's anything you think I should know, say so."

"If you're _really_ into this you should probably know I've been having some strange and unexplainable thoughts, recently. I'll reveal one aspect of my true self but I don't think you'll be happy about it. I'm sickening myself more and more these days. I wanna do stuff to you."

"You 'wanna do stuff' to _me_?"

"It's shameful, I know, but I have to stop myself."

 _I see, he wants me, but he's been keeping it a secret this whole time! Now I don't have to feel like he's as disinterested as he looks..._

"You don't _have_ to." He wraps an arm around him and rubs his shoulder. "Stop yourself."

"You won't hate me if I can't resist my bizarre and depraved urges?" Mizusawa shakes his head.

 _Finally!~_

Kiyama, looks at the floor and starts to make his confession.


	161. Chapter 161 just Mizusawa and Kiyama

"Sometimes when sit next to me..."

"What? Yama-chan you can say it."

"I kind of want to put my hand on your thigh and squeeze it. Why, I do not know, but the hardest to keep to myself if that I seriously want to touch your bum every time you hug me. I like looking at it, but I shouldn't. I'm sorry, I'm a such a good for nothing." He his eyes do not leave the ground as he says this and he flinches as he finishes the sentence. He bravely glances up then squeezes his eyes shut to brace for impact. When Mizusawa laughs he opens eyes and looks at Mizusawa's face, unable to read his smug expression. "You can slap me if you like, I know I deserve it, I'm a monster. I can't stop myself, I want those thoughts to go away but they could get worse the more time I spend with you. You don't have to forgive me."

"Is that _all_ you wanna do? If you wanted to feel, you should've said so." He drags Kiyama's arm over to his thigh but he doesn't grab it, instead, he resists Mizusawa's enthusiasm.

"Go on, I want you to." Mizusawa tugs on his hand and he lays down his palm, then immediately shies away.

"I'm not sure, I think we'd better stop, thanks for offering."

"It's no big deal, try it for a second."

"I don't know what I'm feeling but I might not be able to control it and I like to stay in control of myself at all times."

 _I wonder if I can_ _ **make**_ _him lose control..._

"What's the worst that can happen?"

"Whatever it is, I'd rather prevent it to avoid doing something I regret." Mizusawa urges him to move his hand down onto his lap, to no avail.

... _That sort of thing always happens when I lose control…_

 _Woah! He thinks he'll do something he'll regret? How far is he planning on taking this, the first time we're alone together!?_

"Yama-chan your hand is shaking."

 _Am I that irresistible to him!?_ He checks the status of Kiyama's penis. _Still no joy…_ He sighs out loud was he thinks this.

"Crap! I mean oops! I mean sorry!"

 _Stupid idiot! Calm down! Stop getting into a state! I should've never told him in the first place… Of course an amazing guy like that would be understanding… What was I thinking!? putting all this pressure on him, I want to take it back now... He's probably secretly disgusted... I shouldn't have even been looking at either of his legs, I want to take that back too... He doesn't deserve this..._

"I don't care what you say, remember? You can F and blind if you want."

 _Why won't he be a Yankee in front of me!? Does he respect me too much? How can I change that?_ Kiyama rubs his eyes and clasps his hands together to keep them still.

"Is it hot in here is it just me?"

"Yeah, I think I'm _hot_ too let's take our clothes off." Mizusawa chuckles.

 _Sly dog… I knew he was interested… Is he gonna touch me where is his hand going?~_ Kiyama puts his hand on Mizusawa's forehead.

"You don't feel hot, do you feel ok?"

"Yama-chan~ You really like to play games! Tell me how hot you are."

"My ears are burning my palms are sweating I'm finding it a bit hard to breathe right now I think I _am_ sick. I hope you don't catch it... Maybe I should lie down."

 _Kyah! Is this an invitation to 'lay with' him? Yama-chan please lose control!_

"In fact, I feel like I could throw up any second, I think I should probably go home. Wait! Why am I thinking about myself? After all that kissing I've definitely infected you."

 _Wow, you really know how to improvise a bit of foreplay... Yes, you have infected me, with the love bug and I've got the horn… The worst symptom of all, Dr Kiyama its time for you to perform_ _ **the**_ _procedure! If only I knew how to be that cool outside my head, like he does… I don't want to try to say something in character and mess it up. I'm losing my mind, because of a few words… I don't know if he was trying to impress me by pretending to be innocent or what, but I'm ready for him to take control now… I can't tell him that thought It'd be a buzz kill, me telling him what to do… He's not a bottom!... Is he? No way!... Am I being judgmental... I don't know... He did say he had he was interested in my- I need to stop doubting him, he did just tell me he was going to lie down! That just an invitation in foreplay language! He's so cryptic..._

 _Idiot! How could I hurt him even this early on? I need to think things through and stop being so impulsive. What an arsehole! I really can't do anything right… Not even this, not even after he's helped me so much..._

"What's so funny?"

 _He's being cute, I can't resist..._

"Yama-chan, I can't catch it off you because I gave it to you." Kiyama blinks questioningly until he clarifies.

 _Does he really not get it!?_

"You're nervous."

 _What have you got in mind? You can't possibly want to do it tonight, even I'm not ready... Yankees work fast! He must've convinced himself that he's disgusting because he has thoughts nearly as perverted as mine, despite being told they're wrong… He must be fighting pretty hard not to give in… Moving so slowly, for my sake, all this time because he thinks I can't take it…What a gentleman. As if I'd be revolted by him? He's bad, but not that bad and needs to stop being so critical of himself._ Mizusawa places his hand on top of his and eases him into it. He tentatively gets a firm grip on his thigh and slowly massages it between his fingers. Kiyama frowns subtly.

"Are you enjoying it?"

"There's a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, I might be ill."

"No, you're just a bit excited..." He glances at Kiyama's crotch and does a double take, then pats it to be sure.

 _Uwa~ I would have definitely seen that if I'd made his loins stir… This isn't quite going to plan yet... I'm like Medusa but the opposite... I thought I'd have got him going by now…_

"That's enough of that for one day, thanks for not being grossed out by the fact that I want strange things and your legs have always caught my eye. I shouldn't have been looking so closely, I hope I don't make you feel uncomfortable."

"Not at all... You say _you_ like strange things, you should see what I'm into. Your interests are relatively tame."

 _My arse is yours if you want it... I know you like it…_

"If anyone's gonna be made uncomfortable, it's you."

"No way can there be someone weirder than _me_ to challenge how odd I am and make it seem like nothing."

"I'm your man! I'll overshadow or your obscenity, insensitivity and absurdity. Just you wait, you haven't seen the worst of it yet. You're the one that should be scared of me. I'm not as innocent as I look."

"I don't believe you. You'd never do _anything_ to hurt _anyone_ especially those you should treasure most."

"I don't wanna hurt, I just wanna love…" He gropes Kiyama believing that this is what he wants. He kisses him passionately and tries to topple him onto the bed but he maintains his balance. "You can feel my arse if you like. I've got something I want to show you... You're not kissing back, again. What's on your mind?"

 _He's so selfless I doubt I'd do that for him if he asked… I need to change my attitude… If I'm going to start behaving I need to be less rebellious. I should do as I'm told, especially if it makes him happy… He's a terrific person… He's probably not happy unless I am which means I should try to be more positive… He seemed quite pleased when I finally gave in to putting my hand on his lap… It was the same when I first agreed to talk to him and then when I let him take me out, he was the happiest when he convinced me to spend the night... I've got to always listen to it because it's not as if he'd try to put me through anything I wouldn't like or that he wouldn't have thought was best for me in the first place…_

"I don't need you to give yourself to me like that, so easily I'm not asking for anything."

 _I don't know if I scared him into backing down or what. I'm sure most would've jumped at that opportunity... I know he doesn't appreciate himself much but his mother certainly raised him right. I don't have to worry about anything, he claimed to be at risk of losing control but he's decent… Giving myself to him? I wasn't even planning on shagging him tonight..._

"You're really nice, Yama-chan…" He pats him on the shoulder. "It's like you can read my mind, it just shows how well linked we are."

 _I knew he was a bit grossed out... I'm definitely too depraved..._ _He was going to let me touch that place just because I wanted to… I can't understand why anyone would ever want to be so nice to the likes of me._


	162. Chapter 162 just Mizusawa and Kiyama

"Now we're on the same page, what do you think you're doing wrong?"

"Everything."

"I don't mean in general, I meant what do you think's wrong with what you're doing?"

"I've been trusted to be here and here I am being way too familiar with you, I know I asked too much, I can't do anything right. I lie to them everyday."

"How?"

"By omission." Mizusawa looks confused so he explains. "I'm letting them believe that you're my friend."

"Yama-chan, what they don't know can't hurt them. You haven't done anything wrong."

"I never used to care about doing as I was told and had no intention of behaving when I was younger, until…"

 _Is he gonna say it? He never mentions him!_

"Let's just say I saw the error of my ways. I'm a bit reluctant to risk ignoring them again and end up causing even more trouble."

"Being gay doesn't hurt anyone, it's totally peaceful and only concerned with love. What happens between me and you, is no one else's business. I'll come and see them next week and charm them into liking me as much as, if not more than you do."

"There's no way anyone can like you more than I do..." He quickly covers his mouth.

"Oh, Yama-chan!" Mizusawa gives him a hug.

"Oops, that just slipped out, you're making me feel _so_ relaxed, I feel a bit uncomfortable, if that makes sense. I'm really not used to this sort of thing. I don't know what to say… And what _not_ to say."

"I can help you with that if you like."

"Really?"

"I'd do anything for you, you're a much better person than you think you are."

"You don't know me yet."

"Yama-chan, I believe in you."

"You mean you fully accept me as I am?" He nods, "And you even plan to help me not to go wrong in the future?"

"I'll help you in every way I know how."

 _If I'm going to be properly reformed and accepted, I don't see how my parents disapprove of that. I'm sure they'll like him nearly as much as I do. I can see that being it a relationship with someone is completely different from being friends with them. He just wants me to be happy when I keep him company… I am a lot happier now that I know I'm not disturbing him... He seems not to care what I've done and just wants to help me improve myself. It's my duty help him realise that wish._

"Since I'm getting to know the real you I just can't get over the silent thing."

"Because you're such a loud-mouth?"

 _Ah! So Yama-chan understands and accepts my humour? I can definitely get used to us joking together like this in future..._

"Well, I get that it suits you just fine because you haven't really experienced any different. How old is speaking and I don't know how I'll ever manage to eat without making a sound. Don't you even slurp your ramen?"

"Ramen?"

"Haven't you ever seen Naruto?"

"No. There's no television at my house."

"Most people call them TVs… Ok then, tell me what sort of books have you been reading?"

"Ones with words in them."

"Here."

"You want me to start reading the picture books my little brother collects?"

"They're not picture books, they're just books that happen to have pictures in them, there's no age restriction. I'll lend you one of my volumes and enlighten you."

"My favourite monk got enlightened last week, I've known him for like ten years. He was only sixteen when he came to join us and he always played with me. He taught me how to play football… Woah, this is violent."

"I know, that's why it's not for kids and I didn't mean enlightenment literally."

 _Now I see why my brother wishes my mother would let him do that with his life I should probably talk to him about it... I think he'd like my support even if he can only do it as a hobby… His drawing is just as good as this even though he's still so young…_

"Wow Yama-chan, you're so sheltered from the outside world it's scary. This is like how Batman turned into a dark knight."

"Who?"

"He's an American superhero. I know a parody musical that'll help condense the main premise. How much have you missed out on living under this rock where the only technology are kitchen appliances and landlines."

"There's a computer in my mother's study but none of us are allowed in there because I broke the mouse once and she doesn't want to single me out."

"Why did you break the mouse?"

"I don't know."

"You break things for no reason!?~" He raises his eyebrows for emphasis

"I wouldn't do that."

"Then why?"

"Because I wanted to throw the computer out the window."

"Why did you want to throw the computer out the window?"

"Because it was so slow. I had to do a tiny bit of homework and I probably gave it a good an hour of my life on loading time alone and it wouldn't do as I told it… I've never really understood computers but when it crashed and I lost my document…" He can't finish the sentence. "I'd say it was an accident when my hand just tensed almost all on it's own, but I knew what I was doing when it smashed in my fist. How could I have not known when the shards of plastic cut my palm. I've been keeping my distance from them ever since. They're too stressful."

"I don't get why she'd banish you over a mouse."

"It's the principle, plus it was like a Macintosh II so you can't…"

"Buy the mouse anymore, meaning the whole thing had to be replaced?"

"Well, it was her _first_ computer that my father bought her before they were married. She actually uses something more up-to-date now, I didn't know about it and I broke her computer without permission to even be in the room. She never shouted at me or anything she just gently pulled the plastic shards out of my hand with tweezers and treated me kindly was if it was the computer's fault I was injured. It wasn't until later that my father told me it was a 'precious memento'. I didn't even know she kept things like that and then he sneakily showed me her collection of art, baby teeth particularly good pieces of work, awards and school reports, she'd kept, all from _me_. I was _so_ sorry. They were in her study the whole time, she has the whole family in a framed photo on her desk for motivation and a variety of sentimental knick knacks I'd failed to notice. I know she'd feel exposed if she knew that I knew she cared, but finding out that she does made me feel…"

"All warm inside?"

"Exactly... I mean... Something like that."


	163. Chapter 163 just Mizusawa and Kiyama

"Anyway, what I was trying to say is ramen is a type of noodle dish with other bits and bats in it."

"I've never tried it, is it good?"

"Yeah! The next date we go on, I'll have to take your ramen virginity!"

"My who?"

"Let you try it for the first time."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm a vegetarian."

"I suppose you don't _have_ to tell people you're a vegetarian unless they try to feed you _or_ tell them why you think what they're doing is wrong."

"I can't tell other people what to do, I'm not saying my choice is the right one but you can only do what's right for you."

"That's fair enough so, why do you think its wrong?"

"I wouldn't like to have anything killed for my sake."

 _So, this is where the complex about him thinking he killed that boy even though it was a self-sacrifice?_

"Don't plants die?"

"Plants are producers, they're designed to sustain the life of other organisms and they don't have to die for you to eat them since fruit grows on trees but the tree doesn't die. I don't grow vegetables but my father does and if you cut up an uncooked potato and bury it you get new potatoes, because harvested potatoes aren't dead, but ready to be eaten. If you take a leaf off a tree which you shouldn't, not that it really harms the tree, the leaf lives as long as its still green."

"Because unlike animals plants don't have hearts so, don't need to be connected to the main system for part of them to survive? Like flowers in a vase?"

"All they need is their food source which they make themselves with the help of sunlight water and carbon dioxide."

"So, we eat plants alive?"

"The only dead plants are rotted and decayed."

"I don't know if that's better or worse."

"You can think of it as us using their life to prolong ours instead just taking it from them since _we_ would die without it."

"That's more positive, you can _really_ talk when I provoke you."

"I know grains like rice and wheat are probably dead before you eat them, but I thought you might have felt guilty about eating plants... I can't really give you a story about why that's ok... Yeast die to make bread, but microorganisms have really short lifespans and it's likely that they wouldn't have lasted much lon-"

"Kiyama don't worry, I'm not sensitive about that, I was just being provocative. You can't do anything without using some form of resource from the earth, even plastics like polyethene can only be made with compounds found in crude oil which really old dead stuff. I can't believe you care so much about animals!~" He squeezes Kiyama's hand. "You're such a sweetheart."

"Sorry I carried on for so long about plants it was because I thought it was troubling you ethically. Next time stop me." Kiyama realises he was a bit rude and finishes the sentence after a slight delay. "Please."

"You're so thoughtful! You really care about me don't you?"

"Probably more than anything else."

"Uwa~ You said that without any hesitation too! These aren't just cheesy chat up lines you actually mean it."

"I'm glad you're ok, I wouldn't want to have caused you a moral dilemma."

"Kiyama, I know vegetables are the storage devices of plants and that they don't serve any purpose other than being eaten. I know we need plants to make sure there's oxygen and to reduce greenhouse gasses but if the shorter lifespan ones aren't eaten they die and decay to give nutrients to detritivores and other plants. I'm not so moral that I'll have sympathy for a plant. You think really highly of me, don't you?"

"Of course."

"You're really nice, though, being able to make that sacrifice."

"I don't really feel like I'm missing out on anything."

"Personally I love a good bit of lamb, I don't really mind that it comes from a baby animal."

"A baby? I don't eat meat so I thought it was just code for sheep like pork or beef."

"No adult sheep is called mutton. The only thing I don't agree with eating is game, pets, zoo animals and human."

"They all deserve a fair chance at life, to me."

"It's a good job we had tofu today. What made you choose that lifestyle?"

"I've never eaten a dead animal."

"Not even fish?"

"I know it weird to live on an island and not eat fish even though it's traditional, but that would make me a pescatarian."

"Why, though?"

"I know it sounds strange, since I'm so terrible to people, but it's not as if I had a choice."

"You don't _have_ to do what your parents tell you."

"I disobey them too much as it is, I want to do what I can, I don't like to cause unnecessary stress for my parents. The thought of trying to meat now isn't something that has really crossed my mind. I'd rather not."

"You can't 'stop' being gay and acted out before accepting it for yourself. Takashi helped you through that didn't he?"

 _He's quite liberal calling Kono by his individual name, having never met him… It's gonna take me a bit to get over that… I'm sure I'll eventually be able to reciprocate that informality._

"You're right he had no friends because he let people know that he was gay, I had plenty of friends to spare... Probably because I kept it a secret that I was gay. He helped me to understand myself better and that there was nothing wrong with me, contrary to what my parents would have had me believe if I told them."

"No one can know about us because of them... I'm ok with that, but you're not 'terrible'."

"You won't be saying that when I screw you over."

"You wanna 'screw' me~?"

"I'm sorry, did I curse wrong? I mean, when I ruin your life, like I've done before, even to my parents."

 _Even though I thought I got him to relax he still keeps talking as if him ruining my life is completely inevitable..._

"You can't have hurt them by being born."

"I know for a fact that I did."

 _With my brother..._


	164. Chapter 164 just Mizusawa and Kiyama

"And I've been bothering them ever since with my unacceptable outbursts in the past. I'm lucky they even forgave me and let me in the house after. They're not the only ones I've burdened and if we carry on like this they won't be the last. I know you're not worried but you should be. Being with you in ways I never dreamt of feels great. Even if I don't show it, I'm very comfortable around you. More than even with my own family, which is probably because you accept me. So, thanks, but we _can_ get too comfortable and when you let your guard down, when you least expect it something bad is going to happen it's my nature and always has been."

"'So, try to forget about me now, while it's not too hard!?', 'Go and live a happy full life without me holding you back!?' there is no such thing as a happy full life for me without you in it, we're not going down that road again."

"I _do_ want you to be free from me and my uselessness." Mizusawa starts to argue, "But I realise that since we've become so accustomed to each other it would be more difficult for us to split. I'd rather not get into a situation that leads to me causing trouble for you."

"I don't care!"

"In other words, I have to be a better person, in order to respect you and our agreement to be together." Mizusawa kisses him again, this time he responds immediately.

"Why don't we get a bit more comfortable on the bed, rather than perching on the edge, as if you've got plans to go somewhere?" He lays down on his side and instructs Kiyama to do the same.

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"I told you it's because I like you." Kiyama says nothing. "How does it make you feel?"

"I don't know."

"Is it good or bad?"

"Both."

"Why do you think that is?"

"It's because you're being nice to a person that doesn't deserve it and I'm not used to it, but it's really kind of you."

"Are you uncomfortable with being treated well because you're not used it? I can't stop whenever, but I don't know if you're ready for that sort of thing, I'm pretty thoughtless. We just have to get used to each other and find a dynamic that suits us. I know for a fact that I can be rude and annoying, but you don't strike me as the type to be easily offended or misunderstand my sense of humour."

"Is there any _specific_ reason you're being _so_ nice to me?"

"Besides the fact that I like you!? What makes you think you don't deserve it?"

"You don't wanna know, I'm the worst."

"No, you're not."

"Maybe not, but I'm terrible, if you knew the sorts of things I got up to before we met, you'd think again before looking at me the way you do and treating me so well. If you knew what was good for you, you'd leave now and never look back. You should stay away from me, for your own sake. I end up causing harm to whoever I get close to."

"It's not about what you've done it's about what you're doing and what you choose to do from now on."

"I don't know why you bother to waste your time with the likes of me. I'm a disgrace to my family."

"I know you're used to pushing people away but you can't scare me. You're finding it hard to open up to me, but if I was anywhere near as scared as _you_ are that you would 'hurt' me do you think I'd confess to a yankee? I'm cocky, but I don't have a deathwish." He says this without having a clue how insensitive that is to Kiyama.

"I know you're not scared, because I made special effort not to get too well acquainted with anyone. You were the only one that came up to talk to me after I worked so hard to become invisible. Your arrogance shocked me so much, I couldn't say no. I didn't want to upset you since you seemed so decent. I should have thought it through instead of deciding I wanted to get to know you better. I was selfish and didn't think about you and what I was letting you get yourself into. I'm sorry for wasting your time and letting you fall for me. I was just enjoying your company too much to want it to end."

"Don't act like this whole relationship starting is all your fault. _I_ befriended _you_ and started casually flirting with you from day one. All the friends I've had since middle school asked questions about where I was spending my lunchtimes. You were so closed off at the start, anyone else would've backed down and moved on, but by being patient and making you a friend I got you to trust me enough to agree that you were gay and everything... It took until Christmas to make you go on a date with me. I started _everything_."

"Yeah, but I gave into your temptation, because I'm weak…"

"There is no threat for me to escape from. I'm not going anywhere."

"I appreciate that you like me, more than I like myself, but you don't have to. I'm bad news, you'll find out sooner or later."

"You've just been _told_ you're no good, it doesn't mean you actually are. What could you have possibly done?"

"I've done a lot that I'm not proud of and I'm trying to sort myself out, but I just keep going wrong. I don't wanna drag you down with me."

"I can tell that you care about me, but you're no threat, to me."

"You're fearless aren't you?"

"I've got balls, if that's what you wanted to say."

"Ok, you're the ballsiest guy I know, asking out a yankee!? Even I'm surprised by your ability to see past the rough outer layer."

"I'm just a _really_ good at understanding people and their feelings, if I'd seen any intent to cause harm, I wouldn't have asked you out in the first place, let alone trusted you enough to invite you to my house and bedroom?"

"I suppose I _was_ really 'p*ssed' after the garden of thing. I would have flipped a table in my reckless younger days."

 _Losing Kono was such an eye-opener, I know I have to turn my life around for his sake... I don't deserve to be here, yet I am, so I should try to avoid being an inconvenience to anyone…_

"But I'm keeping that sort of thing under control now. I know it would've been a nuisance to the monks. I learnt to see the error of my ways, the hard way."

"You're not _that_ destructive and no matter what you've done it doesn't make you a _bad luck charm, doomed to condemn anyone that gets close to you_. You've got free will, that means you shape your own future. You probably can't shock me with _anything_ you hold yourself responsible for."

 _I've already killed two people I was supposed to take care of._

"This is really hard to say…" Kiyama sits up and faces away from Mizusawa. He sits next to him on the side of the bed and takes his hand, pulling the limp arm so he can cup Kiyama's hand in both of his as it rests on his lap.

"Very few people know this, but..."


	165. Chapter 165 just Mizusawa and Kiyama

"Very few people know this, but I'm part of a pair of twins, the other one died in childbirth. I stole his chance at life."

"That's not your fault." Mizusawa places a hand on his back and he shudders, subtly.

"It can't even be survival of the fittest because we're identical twins which means that I've got the same genetics as him. If resources were fairly shared either both of us would have lived or both us would've died. Whether or not I meant to, I still caused it."

"Surely your parents never would've said you caused a thing like that, its nature."

"I wasn't told that I let them down by being born but I can see it in their eyes, like when I'm in trouble, they probably regret having me in the first place."

"Can I stop you for a second?"

"Yes."

"Would your parents prefer one kid or no kids?"

"I'm sure they'd rather not have _me_. I know I'm the worst. Look at the state of me, I planned to turn my life around after..." Mizusawa's intense, comforting presence has loosened his lips passed the point of having control of what comes out, but he stops himself before he says anything he can't take back. He's determined not to make Mizusawa feel uncomfortable with any more details of his tragic past.

"I know for a fact that you're not evil and you're not as bad as you think you are."

"You should still try to get rid of me, before it's too late." He kisses Kiyama's cheek, strokes his back and hugs him to comfort him.

"Get a grip Yama-chan, you will never be a nuisance or get in the way of me I want you here. _I_ asked _you_ out and I chose you, if you don't wanna be here you don't have to."

"That's the problem, I can't resist you. So, It's up to you."

"Then it's settled."

"I just wanted to give you a warning before you got _too_ involved with me… Back in the day, before I decided to change, if anyone disrespected me I'd fight them. I didn't _really_ care about myself or what I got myself into. I wouldn't accept anyone mistreating Kono. Odd comments, side glances, whatever it was I'd flip out. I was like a ticking time bomb. I'm the worst person I've ever met and I don't understand why you _choose_ to associate with _me._ "

"I have fun with you, I don't care if you're a bad boy."

"You like that sort of thing?"

"You'd be amazed to hear the kind of things I like. _You'd_ be disgusted with _me_."

"You don't know what you're getting yourself into. Obviously, we went to different middle schools so, I'll have to tell you. I was worse than Azuma, before tumbling. If someone took what I foolishly perceived to be 'my dignity' away, I'd take their teeth. I was a monster and I don't think it's fully gone yet. I can see the error of my ways now, but that's because I pushed my luck. I was picking fights over the most minor things, because I was _way_ too touchy. I'll never let anyone hurt you, but the one I'm most worried about causing you trouble is me."

"You won't."

"It's only a matter of time. I'm really self-destructive which is my fault and my problem. The whole issue with that for me is that I always drag people down with me. Innocent people, that don't deserve to be affected by my bad choices."

"I'm not innocent."

"You've done no wrong."

"I wouldn't be chasing after you if I gave a monkey's about any of that."

"I want you to stay safe and that's the best way."

"When is the last time you lost your cool?"

"The worst day of my life..." Mizusawa starts to speak. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Do you have any plans to lose control of your emotions again?"

"No, never again."

"That's not something people are capable of."

"That's why I'm warning you. I don't want you to get hurt."

"You're not _that_ bad."

"You don't know that, because I haven't shown you yet and I don't plan to. I'm very comfortable with you. I want to show my true self and lots of little bits are slipping out... I like feeling relaxed in your company but one of these days my bad side will eventually come out and I'll mess you up, I'll mess this up... I wouldn't say I'm better off alone, but _everyone_ else is better off without me."

"That's not enough of a reason to end this."

"I'll try to avoid burdening you with my outbursts... I'll never do anything like that in front of you. I _can't_ lose control of myself, not like that, not ever again."

 _I just got a lot out of him... I should probably change the subject... I'm sure he's got to have other hobbies besides gardening, reading and playing shogi… He sounds like an old man, I don't see how anyone like that could end up causing so much trouble... There is definitely more to him, but he won't let it go..._

"What makes _you_ happy?"

"Besides spending time with you?"

"Aw, you're such a sweetheart Yama-chan!~"

"If I'm going to really let you get to know the type of person I am I should probably mention that I also quite like a bit of football, there is such pleasure with kicking a ball... I just don't like to play on teams because of the pressure of scoring goals, I'd rather not complete. I used to enjoy it in middle school, being at one with the ball, with the pitch, running with an aim, forming strategies and tactics on the spot!" Mizusawa can see his eyes light up as he talks about something he's really passionate about, he fully emotes for the first time in his presence and Mizusawa sees a different side to him, which he finds exciting and wants to delve deeper into. "I can't hear anything but the roar of the crowd cheering us on…" Kiyama suddenly remembers where he is and reverts to the past tense. "I really had fun being part of a team, the coach'd always joke about sending me to the premiership, so I could work overseas and travel the world... He had all kinds of ridiculous of over expectant ideas about me becoming a pro. I had such control over the ball it was just like an extension of me."

"How did it make you feel?"

"At home."

"If you like being on teams so much why don't you join the tumbling group with me and Yuta?"

"I'd be a burden to them, I've lost my accuracy. Until I found that game I'd never had a calling in life. My brother would get his inheritance, my other brother had his brain, then I would be the athlete. I didn't even have high hopes, I just enjoyed playing. I even decided that I'd rather compete in things like the Olympics and Asiad rather than exclusively football specific tournaments... Instead of being just another player on another team. My coach was the only person that ever praised me in my whole life, when I put on my kit I'd immediately start smiling. I'd feel the thrill, the buzz, I'd start bouncing on my tip toes like there was something in me, that took over my whole body… It was after a few bad games and when I lost favour with the coach that I dropped out, gave up on my dream and took my frustrations out on the streets. I had such a weak spirit. It didn't take much for me to go down the wrong path and end up in the gutter."

 _Why can't he see that there were ten others equally at fault for not winning… He didn't lose it single-handedly, he's not to blame for all of it…_

"You know up until then I'd spent my whole life trying to live up to my big brother's standards and the expectations that came with them... I did everything I could to become a son that could please my parents in every way, I wanted to show them I was worthy of their love. I worked on myself so hard to be someone they could be proud to call their son, then all of a sudden I had nothing, my whole world crumbled around me... I lost my home, my place to belong. I took my boots off and the ground fell out from beneath my feet. My medals had no meaning the trophies had no value."

 _He can really go into detail about negative things, he's so descriptive... I can't even imagine what's going on his head right now... He's a bit like me! If he goes off on a tangent he doesn't stop, but I don't need anyone to initiate my speech for me..._

"Why are you looking up you're not blaming God, are you?"

"No, I wouldn't do anything as pitiful as that, I know I'm the one that messed up my own life, that's the sad part... "

 _I'm afraid that if I look down gravity won't be on my side..._ He won't be able to keep blinking back the tears.

"I never knew I felt this strongly. I suppose I just took it out as anger. I'm sorry I didn't mean to you a sob story… You'd probably rather not have heard that. I hope I didn't ruin your mood… I'm just that sort of person, when I realised that once my fifteen minutes of fame were over it seemed like my parents were right all along, that I _was_ a worthless waste of space that had no future… I became rebellious and self-destructive, but the whole issue with that is that there is a very strong gravitational pull towards the black hole that is myself. Everyone around me gets sucked in, while I just get worse. There is a lot of negative energy around hear." He gestures towards himself. "And the general pattern is that the happier I get the more unhappy everyone else is. The more comfortable I get the more uncomfortable everyone else is. Why the goals I missed, costed everyone the chance to compete for the rest of the year because they relied on the likes of me, they thought I was worthy, but I never was. Why only half of a twin pair gets to walk around on this earth _._ "

 _Why Kono is no more..._

"Ok, I never knew hobbies could get so dark. Let's change the subject."

 _I wanted to put him in a good mood and I just made it worse..._

"Yeah, I think that's for the best know that you've heard that, you can't really deny that I _am_ a disgrace."

"Do you have any intention of causing _me_ harm?"

"No, there's none, that's why I'm trying to keep you informed. You'll be safer away from me."

"I'll be _happier_ closer to you, you're not cursed."

"I never said I was, I'm just the cause of a lot of bad things, it's _fully_ my fault _every_ time."

"I'll be waiting until the next time that happens then, with you."

"As long as you're aware of the risks, I can't argue with you."

"There are no risks."

"Ok, I'll let you."

"Let me what?"

"Do whatever you were trying to before I interrupted."

"Ok, good because I've been thinking about trying this all night. I thought to myself. 'Isn't it strange how I've been seeing you for so long and I've never seen your penis?'"

"Is it?"

"May I?"

"Ok, if that's what you want."

 _I'm just glad, he's not leaving me…_

"Pull your trousers down."

"Ok."

"All the way off. Wow, it's _so_ big!"

"Really? Is that bad?"

"No, I like it. Is it alright if I…"

"You can do whatever you want."

"Touch?"

"It's fine if _you_ want to."

*****END OF FLASHBACK*****


	166. Chapter 166 just Mizusawa and Kiyama

"You know what happens next. That's so nostalgic, I can tell from the second I said 'what they don't know can't hurt them' I _seriously_ corrupted you."

"I was already corrupted, I just didn't know _anything_ about sex."

"You dealt with it so well! Even if you're really calm and collected. I can't believe you kept your composure _then_! It took a while to get you going, what did you think I was doing?"

"I didn't really understand what your aim was so, I assumed you'd eventually amuse yourself and get bored with it, that you'd stop and move on to something else. I thought the whole trick was making it hard and that was what you were trying to get out of playing with it. I'll admit that I got bored after the first five, ten-fifteen minutes."

 _It took a good five minutes of elbow grease to get it started… He's really not a sexual being..._

"If you were bored, why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to disappoint you, not after you'd told me how much you liked me. You were the only person I'd spent that much time with and not disappointed. I couldn't ruin it then."

"Don't tell me you've been avoiding disappointing me every time you shag me."

"No, no, it's nothing like that. Woah!"

"You don't normally exclaim things, what's up?"

"My head stopped hurting."

"How long has it been hurting?"

"Since before you started talking to me."

"Today? Or since before high school?"

"High school, but they're off and on, they usually start when I'm tired or if it's too bright or if I've been reading for too long. I've just ignored it until now."

"You're lucky, you just had eye strain, but it could have been meningitis or a tumour! You definitely need to start speaking up more."

"Thanks for persevering. I know I can be quite stubborn, but you've changed my life once again. Now I can see and maybe if I haven't messed up my lungs, I can play football casually at uni."

"Whether or not you tell me these things, I'll worry so, you're not helping anyone. If you don't tell me I worry even more that there are things wrong with you that you're keeping to yourself now that _all_ this has come out..."

"I've got nothing to declare. Right now I'm content. I can see, I don't have a headache, I'm not tired, I'm not hungry, I'm not thirsty, I'm not horny…" Mizusawa frowns. "I thought you wanted updates."

"You lost it?" Kiyama shrugs. "When?"

"You don't wanna know."

"That's not what I'm upset about, obviously I went off on a big tangent and neither of us are in the mood."

"If I said I was too injured to shag tonight would you have a problem with that? I know I'd be pretty weak to back down from it now, but I'm in a fair bit of pain."

"I can't ignore you for a minute, can I? You were just going to happy jump into bed with all these wounds and bruises and that headache you had for the past _six_ years! That's not being a man, that's being an idiot!"

"I'm sorry for being an idiot, I know I cause trouble for everyone, wherever I go. I said I would change and I haven't. I'm sorry for letting you down again."

"You're right about that ticking time bomb thing because you let things go _too_ far! God forbid one day you'll start coughing up blood from lung cancer because you failed to get the initial cough which lasted 'over three weeks' checked out and then you won't tell anyone so it will kill you and!..." Mizusawa slightly loses his head predicting what it'll be like taking care of Kiyama and how hard he'll make it for him to do. He looks at the hurt in his eyes and decides he doesn't want to be another person to criticise Kiyama and the many _faults_ he makes so much effort to hide, because it won't help him. "Just don't worry me like that. I need you, what if that headache was a stroke!?" He realises he's over exaggerating again because he's desperate to get the message across. "I know you've been punished enough for not containing your emotions in the past, but don't let that mess up your future. You're not an attention seeker but you neglect yourself, so you _need_ attention and if no one looked out for you, you'd be dead."

 _I abuse him a lot, but he doesn't mind and never reacts because that's what he's used to and he thinks he deserves it, every time… I need to watch my mouth, he's not as strong willed as he looks. I should be more careful just because he doesn't fight back doesn't mean he's unaffected I don't want to fall into the same category as people that made him think of himself the way he does... He's a great person but it's so easy to fall into the habit of attacking him... I take his tough exterior and lack of protest as an invitation to do what I want but I can't take it for granted anymore... I love him but he strangely detestable… That's no excuse for the things I've said and done to him... And he thought he was a danger to me! I really need to look out for him, from now... I did tell him I would overshadow his insensitivity, but I've got to change..._

"I'm not some dainty little fragile thing that needs to be taken care of but otherwise your right, no one's arguing against that, I probably would have died before I met you. If Kono hadn't taken that it for me I might have got through it but I would have continued down that dark path. It was around then that I started smoking and drinking coffee who knows how far I could have taken that kind of thing? It's not as if I don't have the money to sustain a drug habit. I just might not have given up at that point I wanted to preserve myself somehow. I know it's more likely for addicts start after a traumatic time as an escape."

"I'm happy to sit here and talk all day." Kiyama shudders at the thought of having even more of his emotions uncovered. "Next time you're not into it please tell me, I'm sorry I'm not exciting enough for you." Mizusawa gets a bit dejected.

"I've never been more excited anywhere or with anyone doing anything than I am when I'm with you."

"You said you got bored that first time. Didn't it feel amazing?"

"It was new and completely alien to me."

"Do you not enjoy sex at all!?"

"..." Kiyama thinks for a moment and Mizusawa looks at him with pleading eyes. "I do, but I wouldn't if it wasn't with you."

"I like that it would have no meaning to you if it wasn't for me, but I don't like the thought of you only doing it for my sake."

"I don't dislike it, I'm indifferent."

"Don't you ever _just_ want to?"

"No."

"Not even when you see me?"

"I don't see you as a sex object, Mizusawa."

"You're back to Mizusawa? Is it because the topic makes you uncomfortable!?" Kiyama just shrugs. "You don't have to go back to formali- I'm getting off track… Even so, you're a guy I'm a guy can't you even admit that you have a single urge?"

"If that's what you want me to say."

"No, don't you ever think about it?"

"Apart from that week of recovery, no."

"So it's a bad thing to you?"

"I'm just not fussed either way. It either happens or it doesn't happen. It's not gonna hurt me if I don't and it's not gonna affect me if I do."

"So, you don't care."

"Not rea- I mean what matters is how close it makes us how we feel when we're together I don't _really_ like doing it, but I like doing it because it's what you like to do."

"What do you want to do?"

"I just like spending time with you."

"Yama-chan you're so lovey-dovey. You neither love it nor hate it but to you what matters is we're together."

"It's fun, but I _can_ live without it. I'm not bothered either way. It just takes a bit to get going."

 _So you have no drive to do it but since you have no preference, either way, you do it to please me?_

"Doing the mechanical thing maybe all well and good, but if I'm not in the right mindset..."

"You have to will yourself into it and be in a specific mood?"

"It's more like if I don't focus I'm not gonna get anywhere."

"You're basically not very easily excitable? But everything works properly and once you've got a hardon, you're 'in it to win it' so to speak?"


	167. Chapter 167 just Mizusawa and Kiyama

**As an apology for the long break there will be one chapter or each story per day, this week, since it's Easter. I've been trying really hard to get into university and I've got a place at the one I want. There will also be a special treat at the end of the week the the schedule should go back to normal. Its my first oneshot and as you can imagine, because it's mine its really long.**

"I'm probably just able to be selective about when it happens, either I want one or you've got to be very persistent. I know I wouldn't like to have that sort of thing happen spontaneously, I prefer to stay in control… I can't very freely let go of that sort of thing, I don't want to do anything involuntarily. Who knows since I've never really had urges or temptations to do anything, I may have let the pent-up 'sexual frustration' turn into aggression."

"Like what some athletes choose to do? It could explain why you haven't really _any_ strong negative emotions since you've tried to resolve the issues, that were making you turn out to be a bad boy."

"I suppose up until the point I went flew off the rails, I was focused on sport so, there was nothing being pent up since I was so active. I got restless then ended up going down the wrong path. So I'm _not_ an evil person with homicidal tendencies… I had mood swings?"

"You never killed anyone, two people died so that you could live. We've established this, you're not the cause of these incidents they simply happened, not by _your_ doing… That evening you must've thought it was only a matter of time before your next outburst, where you'd cause me trouble. You must've felt like me being around to keep you out of trouble was temporary, so assumed you'd get into trouble and take me down with you. Thanks to me, you haven't done anything to intentionally cause trouble since. When you were younger you'd only ever let off steam in fights, but since I came into your life, you haven't deliberately started a single fight... Until today, but it was a peaceful protest and it was for mine and everyone else's sakes. So I _do_ , do something for you?"

 _I would've said he was taking a bit too much credit for shagging me twice a week, if my reformation wasn't helped him… I'll let him have it. I don't praise him often enough… Unless I'm trying to distract him with thoughts of himself. That could work._

"Are you kidding? You saved me from myself. There's no way I could've spent the rest of my life pretending to be a decent person. I needed an outlet, somewhere I can completely be myself and you're the only person I don't hide anything from."

"You still keep bits and bats from me."

"I just choose not to disclose the details that I deem unnecessary."

"I thought you were complimenting me then you started putting your wall up again."

"I am extremely open with you, more than my family. There's no way I would go nearly as far with _anyone_ else as I do with you, even what I say by text. If I didn't have you, I'd be lost there is _no_ one I feel more comfortable with. I'm always myself with you and that involves not sharing every detail. If you must know I'm sure that if I had to continue to be a good guy with no breaks I'd eventually snap and end up on another rampage."

"Now, who's over exaggerating? But I can't argue, I _am_ that good!"

"So, I'm finally out of your bad books?"

"I suppose when I topped."

"Oi."

"It's about time we talked through it, that's the stage we're getting into now, I wanna know everything there is to know about you and I think that when I topped that think may have also been linked to your emotions overwhelming you. You never react to anything but when I accidentally convinced you I cheated and started to enjoy it. You raised your voice~ And..."

"I get it now, that was a low point in my life."

"Come to think of it yeah, you had that rough weekend, you thought I cheated with your good friend and when you met me you thought we were gonna- But it'd been more than a week since you last came. You even started with the sweet talk and that's not something you like to do."

"You've got a funny interpretation of sweet talk."

"Don't try to change the subject I wasn't going to mention the fact that I saw you cry for the first time but if you must know, it pleased me to see you felt something about me and wished I'd never have to see that again... Well that I wouldn't be responsible for it or that I could prevent it. I even pushed you really hard when you were trying to do what you thought you were there for. That weekend, you never got a hard-on and you carried on the next to you week feeling even more tense and emotionally unstable."

"So even if I kept the pain out of my facial expression and somehow managed to look at you after, then you gave me a hand job I wouldn't have ended up having my eyes leak every time I took a dump?"

"That's a vulgar way of putting it but I think there was also a factor of the pain from the- Events that took place, plus the memory and the guilt from thinking you'd made _me_ feel that way, but I unlike you had a thoughtful person who took time and effort to take proper care of me. You thought that by feeling anything you were being the weak one. On top of that, there is the feeling of failing your parents and being emasculated."

"I'm glad you understand how I felt better than even I do. At least it makes more sense that I was on the edge and not just losing the plot. I don't know if I can stop considering the fact that I couldn't avoid crying and that I couldn't move past it straight after a weakness. There is a chance that you talking me through it like you are now could've made me feel better at the time but that was out of the question. I was completely unwilling to let you see me like that. I know I would've been ashamed to reveal that vulnerable side of me. I don't think I'll ever be able to feel comfortable being pitied or taken care of." Mizusawa nods, taking what Kiyama has to say, at long last, while having another sudden realisation.

"If you're so in control you have to _want_ a boner to get one? It must have just taken me _five_ minutes to _coerce_ you into losing your inhibitions the first time."

"Like I said you have to be persistent if I'm uninterested, It's only a matter of time before the biological bits kick in against my will."

"You make me sound like a monster, I would have run away from young me myself if I were you. I'm sorry for being such a perv."

"You're still a perv."

"Yeah, but now I understand your feelings I feel like a bit of a predator. You said against your will."

"I was having indescribable feelings for the first time and my usual reaction was to pretend they weren't there and ignore them, which meant I _will_ ed my penis not to get hard."

"I suppose it was a bit of a dilemma for you, trying to hide the way you feel as you'd been taught to, with things like losing your temper and then there is a physical representation of it. I took your deliberate impotence as an insult, but really you were fighting against yourself and your true feelings. You really hung in there! If it had been the reverse at that very place and time I would have jizzed all over your hand in the time it took for you to get hard."

"I may have thought letting you stroke it to your heart's content was something I was supposed to do according to your suggestion that I should try doing things in spite of what my parents would think. I thought it was completely scandalous. If it wasn't for that advice I might not've put up with it for that long. The main thing was that I really didn't want to let my parents get in the way of your happiness."

"We seriously should've talked about it."

"If we did the guilt would've got the better of me and I wouldn't have let you. If I get the chance to think about things like that I back out, like with the anal thing. I'm an impulsive type, you're really right about me not having any shame, I just s tripped off without knowing your motive. I'd decided it was another one of those things you wanted me to do for you, that it was the next step after kissing, hugging an holding hands, that it was a 'gay thing' and I was an idiot for not knowing about it. I didn't want to look ignorant."

"You never said what you wanted or how you felt, you just accepted everything, because _I_ asked. Did you actually want to do any of that?"

"I don't know what I wanted."

"What sort of thing were you thinking at the time?"

"'Woah!', 'is this right?', 'I didn't know I could do that sort of thing', etcetera…"

"That's too vague, what was really going on? None of that would make you want to leave. I think that's part of the reason sister started questioning me. She said she saw you leave with red cheeks, teary eyes and struggling to fasten your trousers. I told her nothing was going on between us, because I thought it was over. I think the main reason behind her not pushing further with other questions, at that point might have been that I answered her by saying if 'I knew why, would I be sitting here by myself crying?' She must have taken the hint that I didn't really want to talk about it, for once. I think I should have been explained what I was going to do and why before I started. So what _were_ you thinking during the whole debacle?"

"I don't think it was a 'debacle' you're just an OTT queen."

"Come on you said you'd answer my questions."


	168. Chapter 168 just Mizusawa and Kiyama

"I was thinking something like. 'Is this what I'm _supposed_ to do?', 'Should _I_ be enjoying this?', ' _Is_ this normal?', 'Should you be touching me _there_?', 'Is this what gay people do!?', 'Do I have to do it to him?', 'How many times?', 'I can see his... through his trousers.', 'Why am I looking there?', 'Does he want me to touch it?', 'Do I _want_ to?', 'Do _I_ want to see it?', 'Is there something wrong with me?', 'Why do I feel like this?', 'When am I going to stop disappointing my parents?', 'How long is he going to keep doing this?', 'Why did he start?', 'I don't like it or _maybe_ I do?', 'I want him to stop or maybe I don't?', 'This feels so wrong and yet _so_ right…', 'If I told him to stop, would he think there's something wrong with me?', 'He's holding my hand that makes me feel better.', 'I can't look at him, I feel so uncomfortable.', 'I'm in the wrong place or maybe it's the _right_ one?' ,'Do I like this?', 'Do I loathe this?', 'I've never felt this way is it pain?', 'I can't tell if it's good or bad.', 'I'd rather he didn't start, but now I don't want him to stop.', 'Am I wrong for feeling like this?', 'Is this weird?', 'What would my parents think?', 'Should I be saying something?'... Woah! you've got a lot out of me today. I must just feel really comfortable with you. I feel at ease in your company especially in a position like this."

"I'm glad we both understand each other's feelings from the past and hopefully from now on. When you said 'I'm sorry I didn't mean to' I thought you were sorry for drenching my bedspread which had to change that night to avoid embarrassing questions from my family. None of them would hesitate to ask where it, for want of a better term, _came_ from. I can see now that you had no intention of cumming. You must've been trying to hold it in or something, I feel like the meaning behind those words is really that you didn't mean to cum at all. When it finally happened you were just as shocked as I was. You didn't tense, gasp or anything. That is composure and a half, that is. You started getting dressed again then escaped without a word."

"Now I know how much it disturbs you to not know, I can't keep you in the dark like that again."

"Next time I can't just get hurt feelings and leave you to it, I'll ask because it turns out that you never had _any_ problems with me. Do you feel better now that it's out in the open?"

"I feel exposed."

"Well of all the places, a person must be able to feel comfortable expressing themselves in, a relationship is the most important, romantic or otherwise. Ok, now we've worked on you saying things when you've been asked to, tell me something you've got going on now. You take the lead on this next subject."

"Ok, my little brother went on a residential over the weekend, he's not coming back 'til Tuesday."

"More please."

"Like what?"

"I'm not directing you, give me more information, like your opinion."

"I don't see how parents can happily send their kids away like that."

"Because?"

"I'd want to keep an eye on mine and hug them and love them every day... I wouldn't wanna give them away and not see 'em."

"What!?"

"I know, I know, I'm the weirdo in my house, I'm the affectionate highly strung one. I think it's because I'm that different to the rest of my family, that you and I get along so well. I'm soft, every time I can't see you I miss you. It's agony having to say goodbye to you _every_ time. And when we were pretending not to know each other…"

"But, you didn't show it." Kiyama just nods.

 _How much he's been caring for me all this time has just been the tip of the iceberg… But for him, he's been very open, even before today. Those cracks in the wall... He let out a lot unintentionally… He's really open by the standards he's been set, like whenever he says what exactly what he wants to say but takes it back or with all the nice things he said about me. His mother on the other hand probably wouldn't have said anything at all. I've just been chipping away at it. I think I finally collapsed it today… He thinks it was weakly put together, but really it's been through a lot... I can see closing off all the unpredictable and unsightly emotions being a good way to please his mum and cope with losing Kono…_

"Thanks for opening up to me. I appreciate how hard it was for you." Kiyama thinks he's been chatty enough for one day and decides to prevent Mizusawa from going off on another tangent.

"Come on." He pulls him to his feet and leads him to the bedroom.

"So you're deciding to break the cycle of me initiating? Or you're adhering to the general pattern of doing Etchi things to shut me up?"

 _Am I that predictable?_

"Get upstairs and when I get to you, you'd better be ready!" He slaps Mizusawa's rear.

"Yes master!~ Catch me if you can!" He runs off, gleefully.

"I'm gonna get ya!" Mizusawa's older sister is in the hallway holding a hot drink, wearing a low cut camisole, virtually non-existent shorts, a hooded nightgown and furry slippers.

"I might've been concerned about how scantily-clad I am if you weren't gay, but wow! I was just about the settle down in the living room, I thought you'd already vacated and the two of you were just sitting in the living room talking about your feelings like a bunch of teenage girls!" She mockingly faux-spits. "I would have taken that arse by now Kiyama-kun."

"Good grief, that is _so_ inappropriate, but you're a fun sister."

"Friggin' own it! Tear his arse apart then start again! Though we could be here till tomorrow, big guy."

"You really like to interfere, don't you?"

"I kinda wanna see that flagpole of yours up close to make sure my eyes won't playing tricks on me."

"I didn't think you were interested…"

"I'm not but I _am_ fascinated... Those glasses _really_ work for you! You are _one_ stunning bespectacled fellow. Even I can't help but give you a second look."

"Yama-chan! Don't make me wait again, what are you up to?" Mizusawa shouts from the landing.

"He'll get to you when he gets to you, geez stop being so high maintenance, Taku. Let us dudes talk!"

"..." Mizusawa spots her over the bannister and gives her a death glare.

"At least when I par you out your mouth stops going for one second. And what? Yeah, stand there with your mouth gaping open, like a goldfish. Go on, say something fam, I double dare you. That's what I thought." She leans in and Whispers to Kiyama "Sorry I'm about to violate your personal space, but this is to prove a point." He's too dumbfounded by seeing Mizusawa speechless to question her so he just nods. Then she shouts up to him. "Give this present to Taku for me!" She cups and firmly squeezes his right cheek then slaps it for good measure, the whole time looking Mizusawa squarely in the eye. She grabs her pubis through her pyjama shorts and says. "Suck on that!"

"Just because you're some kind of 'unconventional', 'non-stereotypical', 'butch lesbian' doesn't mean you have any right to lay hands on my man! I'll fight you!"

"I'm just playing, I didn't think you got that easily riled up." She winks at him then starts ignoring him. "You're arse is so toned! You work out, don't you? I bet you could bench press me above your head without breaking a sweat. Everything on you is so well defined, it's like I'm looking at an oil painting." She grabs his pectoral, Kiyama cringes slightly. "Your tits are alright, a bit too firm for my liking, though. "

"Don't mess with him! Say what you like to me."

"Thanks for your cooperation Kiyama-kun, I won." She flips Mizusawa off and goes into the living room blowing on her hot chocolate as if nothing happened. Kiyama goes up the stairs and hugs Mizusawa.

"I don't have hurt feelings, I told you we always talk like that. Where do you think I get my fearlessness from? None of the lads at school could ever hope to compare to what I come home to. She's my superior in every way… You can let go now. You're not already turned on, are you? Nah, I didn't think so. What's wrong?"


	169. Chapter 169 just Mizusawa and Kiyama

"As you know, I'm not used to that sort of free speech, even now…"

"Go on."

"I know I said I'm not a 'dainty fragile thing' but I felt even more emasculated when she grabbed my arse, than when you shagged me."

"Are you saying she's more man than me?"

"No, I'm just grateful that you at least respected me and didn't objectify me. Talking about my penis size? That must be how some girls feel when people compare their boobs. When she used me to provoke you…"

"I'm listening."

"I felt a little bit violated and I'm glad you stood up for me."

"Well, I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to share that with me."

"It wasn't my fight, I just stood there and 'looked pretty' acting as bait to get you mad... I can see where you get your skill for getting on people's nerves from."

"Sorry my sister managed to hurt _your_ feelings, she is very cruel. I'll understand if you don't wanna do it, again."

"You've got a hardon maybe I will give you that 'apology'. It's not as if I have to react to her taunting that we talk like 'teenage girls' and sleep with you now, even though I'm not up to it, to prove a point."

"Dinner's starting in a couple of hours I wouldn't want you to rush like you did in that storage cupboard again anyway."

"She commented on the long lasting thing too. She must have seen it as a compliment but to me it's personal, I felt like she took away a part of me when she said that, talking down to me and being condescending. I'm not necessarily ashamed but it felt like my mother was the one being critical of me, nitpicking and evaluating every aspect of my performance. I've never liked being compared to other people."

"Is that why you always find fault with yourself and rate yourself the lowest? It's so weird how no one, besides you, has a bad word to say about you because you're so special, outside the house that is. There's nothing wrong with you."

"I think you're the only one that feels that way but thanks, I know you're being honest… I also wish she didn't catch us mid foreplay."

"It's not like you to get ashamed, I thought you liked the thrill."

"Yeah, but it's still a private thing. You can tell her all about the physical stuff but I don't wanna be _that_ relaxed in front of anyone but you. Getting turned on, dirty talking… I'm very strongly against letting my body control me in any way shape or form so having that side of me be public is out of the question."

"You thought you were alone with me, then she was in the room, you were too shocked to react, that left you very unguarded and vulnerable then she objectifies you, gropes you and you can't take it?"

"Yeah, I'm a bit of a big girl's blouse."

"No, it's understandable, she's a very head strong girl and has no idea about the sort of effect she can have on people. A bit like me. You seem tough but that's just the impression you're trying to give off, the way it looks doesn't actually mean anything."

"I know it was weird of me to hug you, then but I've just had a lot of my vulnerabilities exposed. It won't take much to push me over the edge and I'd still rather not be emotional in front of you. That's something I've kept to myself since the incident. I'm not exactly happy exposing myself to you and I don't have much of a problem speaking my mind to you but not to her."

"You said 'a lot of' your vulnerabilities..."

"Disregard that comment please."

"Don't put that wall back up, I know what you're really like."

"Fine, the next time I open my mouth I want you to fill it with your d*ck."

"You were so against it when you started trying to convince me to forgive you. I thought it was off the table."

"It's back on, now. I want your d*ck in my mouth, right now."

"You're still not convincing me. There is nothing persuasive in your tone of voice. I wouldn't want to pressure you into doing something you don't want to."

"I would very much like to have your pubes tickle my nose… And lick… And suck your aching c*ck, even though it makes me gag."

"Now, I feel like you _really_ rather not."

"Come on, Taku-chan~ Give it to me."

"Give what to you?"

"Give me your big, fat, head, I want you in me." He touches Mizusawa's belt buckle.

"Oh, you do, do you?" He caresses his bum cheek.

"No, in the mouth." He quickly clarifies. "Don't touch my arse, don't even look at it. In fact, don't even think about it. It's off limits. You really like to misinterpret things, don't you?"

"Yama-chan, you're ruining the mood!"

"It would be my pleasure to taste your sweaty unwashed c*ck."

"If you don't express that in your voice, no way. I don't believe you."

"I want it now Taku-chan, indulge me. I'll do it right here on the landing. I'm so hungry for you right now." He undoes Mizusawa's fly and grabs hold of his stiff penis. "I don't care if we're caught."

"I know you don't..." He kneels down in front of Mizusawa who's getting caught up in Kiyama's commitment to stop talking about his true feelings and embarrassment. "I bet you would love being caught. You're probably more likely to get a boner sucking me off and getting caught because we're out in the hallway where anyone could walk past any minute because you like a good thrill, and being naughty more than you would if you were just left to get on with it privately."

"No, don't talk about that I've nearly got a semi thinking about it."

 _Breaking the rules is fun to him but he's just scared of letting people down. As kinky as he'd find it he'd never consider exhibitionism for fear of offending someone and there's nothing wrong with being considerate, that's one of the things that makes him so special..._

"You mostly abide by the rules because you want to stay out of trouble because so far it hasn't done you any good to miss behave but if you never did anything wrong you would never have any fun."

"Like what I'm about to do right now."

"Stand up."

"Ok, but I still want to take care of your situation."

"I know you do, you really earned it. I was convinced you wanted to suck me off more than anything. That's why I'm going to give it to you."

"Good."

"I'm going to give you a conversation about your other vulnerabilities."

"F-" Mizusawa covers his mouth.

"Do you want my sister to hear us argue? Then she'll really know she's won!" Mizusawa takes his hand away.

"-Off! You really take this sibling rivalry seriously? We never directly compete against each other, our parents just compare us and pick favourites."

"That's not a good thing."

"I suppose so."

"Tell me, then."

"What?"

"Whatever you're keeping from me."


	170. Chapter 170 just Mizusawa and Kiyama

"In general, I don't like to be touched or have my personal space invaded I'd take it as a threat every single time. My pre _life-altering event_ self would have seen it as an invitation to start a fight, otherwise, it just makes me very uncomfortable. You're the exception, because when I resisted at the beginning you looked really sorry. Then I slowly got tired of fighting it. Then I decided it was a romantic thing and I was wrong for finding it hard to be _that_ expressive. Then I finally got used to it a couple of weeks before that handjob."

"I made you feel uncomfortable all that time and you never said a word?"

"I didn't wanna hurt your feelings and when I got used to it, I felt bad for not being up to the point where I could reciprocate. That was me tolerating it, but now I find it comforting. _I_ just hugged _you_ , remember? I'm a _lot_ more open now."

"I'm proud how much you've changed, thanks to me, especially you opening up this afternoon. Without alcohol..." Kiyama nods hoping the conversation will come to a close. "What else?"

"What about this?" He hints towards Mizusawa's erection.

"You come first, darling."

"Can't we call it a day with these questions?"

"I thought you were glad I cared."

"I am."

"The faster you answer, the faster we finish."

"You've already found out about my crap eyesight and motion sickness, I've also got all the atopic conditions, mildly, including allergies."

"Like what?"

"Like dust, dogs, cats, hay fever, various fruit and lactose intolerance."

"You're lactose intolerant? Why didn't you say?"

"It's not as if I'm gonna die from time after the buffet, I was sick because that was an allergic reaction to watermelon."

"You don't avoid any of the stuff you're allergic to?"

"I've eaten melon a lot before and I assumed that I'd be fine because unless the juice gets on my skin I don't get a rash."

"How?"

"Around my mouth and if it dribbles down my wrist. I was wrong though because it looks like the watermelon upset my stomach. I tried to hold it in for as long as I could and it worked because I made it out of the restaurant but then I lost control and I'm sorry you had to see that."

"You were sick, it couldn't be helped. It's just a regular unavoidable human thing."

"Maybe but that's not good enough. I can't let my body and overactive immune system get the better of me. That was _actually_ embarrassing to me, not being able to stop my stomach from rejecting the food it didn't agree with, being sick in front of you. I'll never do that again."

"You weren't in front of me when you started but I wanted to see what you were doing. Wait a second, does this have anything to do with you randomly putting stuff on my plate and not saying why?"

"I do that ?"

"And why you make me walk _everywhere_?"

"I like walking everywhere I'm independent and it's a choice I get to make, the likes of my mother would have you believe walking was for poor people when really it's something we're lucky to be able to do and that we should appreciate."

"You always talk excessively when you're hiding something, but that was a lot of unnecessary details. Whatever you say I know it's because you've got motion sickness. Actually, I distinctly remember that you had no reaction at Disney sea, that is such good dedication to maintaining the facade that you were invulnerable to anything. How did you do it? You never left my sight the whole day."

"I actually quite enjoyed the ride, I didn't feel sick."

"It must be because there was fresh air. Well, that's your recount, personally, I found Disney sea very fun except I thought I'd be able to get you to scream I don't know if you weren't scared or what, but you just sat there grinning."

 _It was a thrill I was just glad I had an empty stomach at the time…_

"So you'd rather I didn't have fun?"

"I'm glad you enjoyed it but you didn't have much of a reaction. That was your first roller coaster right?"

"Yeah."

"You're such an adrenaline junkie. you looked completely unphased. I was screaming my head off."

"Yeah, you were."

"So, what you're not scared of anything?"

 _Fear of rejection..._

"I'm scared of myself over anything else, because I know that I am capable of doing the most stupid and irresponsible things without thinking and I end up hurting all the people I really care about, without meaning to."

"Actually we both know a person's actions are something they have control of, most of the time."

"I don't have any kind of illness or disorder, it's all down to me, I was just weak as usual..."

"I don't think you're weak for having allergies or intolerances Yama-chan, but fighting against nature doesn't make you strong, it just makes you lose every time. Like with your first ever erection. You lost but it was inevitable and I like helping you break down those boundaries, even if it takes you out of your comfort zone, because we're mere mortals and you need to understand that that's not a bad thing. Being average is an achievement in itself."

"I love how your low standards make me feel accepted. I know I don't have to prove myself to you but I want to, because I want to make your experience with me worth your while… And more than anything I never want you to regret the decision you made to get involved with me."

"I never will."

"I want you to be happy and not to worry about anything including me. So, I can't depend on you or make you feel dissatisfied."

"But..."

"I'm actually happier this way."

"You should still be honest."

"I thought I was being."


	171. Chapter 171 just Mizusawa and Kiyama

"You are but I don't want you to make me keep guessing what's really going on. If I do anything wrong or hurt you in any way, let me know. You can keep all your other feelings to yourself, until I ask, but I don't wanna harm you just as much as you don't wanna harm me. Don't mess yourself up just to maintain the facade, if there's something wrong, you don't necessarily have to say so but you shouldn't just put up with it."

"I've already got enough dietary restrictions. If it won't kill me, it's no big deal. I've never voluntarily taken medication for any of those conditions and I don't plan to start. I was told that can keep control over this since it was sometimes psychosomatic, for instance ,the scratching was often stress-induced, so I just had to will myself out of it."

"Surely there has to be some other explanation for why it cleared up so well."

"As you now know I have many allergies. The eczema calmed down a lot after my mum changed the soap powder brand, surprisingly, to a cheaper one. You can't tell I've got it now but when I was younger I had to have anti scratch sleeves under my clothes."

"So, that's the reason why you wouldn't let me pluck your bushy eyebrows."

"I don't think you need to do anything to mine or yours. All body hair grows for a reason and it should be left there."

"So, you'd rather I stopped waxing my arse?"

"That's entirely up to you."

"There's nothing wrong with a bit of manscaping."

"If that's what you're into and you feel more comfortable, I don't see why not."

"Ok, fine I can't argue, they are a nice enough shape for me to not do it in your sleep… I may even be slightly jealous of how well groomed they look without my interference... And it's why I can't put products on your face?"

"I would have argued that because I am a guy it's not what we do, but _is_ what you do. When you've got sensitive skin on a bad day even pure water burns. If I ever use too much soap and water the skin on my hands starts to peel off at the joints or anywhere my skin wrinkles. It's why I avoid soap."

"Good to know, next?"

"I don't have a very good sense of smell."

"This is just trivial now."

"That's what I thought about everything you made me confess so far. If I started to tell you everything wrong with me you'd get annoyed and you get mad if I said every single thing that crossed my mind."

"Do _I_ annoy you?"

"I don't get annoyed if I did I don't think _this_ would work would it?"

" _I_ don't see why you'd want to hide a thing like that, there's _got_ to be one big thing."

"I… Let's go to your room, so I can face away from you. I want to be seen when I say this. I also don't want to see your expression, because I doubt there will be any way for you to avoid feeling sorry for me when you hear this." They finally make it into Mizusawa's bedroom but by different means than Kiyama would have preferred. He sits on the edge of the bed facing South, Mizusawa faces the East and takes his hand. "Is it possible to back out?"

"The Kiyama I know and love isn't a wimp… Even if he is, he doesn't act like one and does a bloody good job of convincing everyone otherwise. You never back down from a fight even if it's against yourself." Kiyama chokes slightly. He thanks him and there's a small crack in his voice. "I know a big girl's blouse would totally back out and hide their issues, but not my Yama-chan."

"Ok, I get it, I'll tell you. Just don't get confused or try to understand because you and I are _very_ different people. Some may even say that we're opposites. I don't like talking in front of people."

"Is there any other way to talk?"

"I'd prefer not at all. Reading a book in a corner, not making eye contact."

"Like you did before I approached you?"

 _No one got hurt before I started to relax in middle school… I've ruined many a life with my carelessness..._

"Yeah, believe or not, I don't make friends easily. I've never actually tried to, but if I had to I'm not sure I'd be capable. Unbelievably, I've never been alone. I know there is a difference between being alone and being lonely for me being alone is quite blissful but people just gravitate towards me."

"Like I did?"

"You weren't really as bad as in middle school, I appreciate having one person to talk to that really understands me and takes the time to get to know me but..."

"So, I didn't ruin your life?"

"No, you saved me, you are a pinprick of light in the darkness that is my life."

"You're ridiculously descriptive when it comes to speaking about such negative things Yama-chan."

"You are the positivity, though. I'm happier than I ever have been since the incident. I know I'll never get over it but at least I can smile again. The difference between you and middle school is that certain people saw me as some kind of natural born leader even if I was on the same level of simple-standard-teenager as them, if not lower."

"How did that start?"

"They made the usual assumptions."

"Which are?"

"That I'm a decent person."

"Do you mean they thought you were somehow entitled to being at the peak of the middle school hierarchy? Which you refer to as _decent_?"

"People expect a lot from me. I never asked for the attention but there was my older brother's Legacy, the fact that my dad drove a nice car and I lived in a nice house… It's not as if I can take credit for any of my brother's achievements and I don't own those material possessions. I think it's wrong to judge people based on that sort of thing."

"So, _you_ thought having your isolation disrupted was a bad thing?"

"I didn't really have much of an interest in being social, but they liked me for some reason. It was weird to me, because the more I ignored them, the more they paid attention to me. No one else bothered with me before I tried football it was just the odd nod or wave, out of pity, not that I needed it."

"Why didn't you speak? I'm not gonna try to understand why this was a nightmare for you, but I wanna know."

"I didn't want to disturb them. If someone comes up to me it's at their discretion. I'd be causing trouble if _I_ got in _their_ way. I mostly just expected to be shut up or told I was interrupting and being rude then to p*ss off. I was quite loud when I was younger but that made me a hassle for my mother. Having to discipline me in front of family members and important guest or anyone would mean I was an embarrassment to her from the early days. I was told children should be seen and not heard. I eventually learned my lesson."

"This is when you a were how old?"

"An infant."

"So you didn't want to have a conversation or you choose not to have a conversation with anyone?"


	172. Chapter 172

"I don't think you understand how well convinced I was that nobody on the entire planet wanted to hear the sound of my voice, I decided that being quiet was the closest I could get to being invisible because at the end of the day everyone would've rathered I wasn't there as long as I didn't get in the way, they couldn't complain. I didn't want to get on anyone's bad side. I was happy just to go to lessons and then just go home, no social interactions needed."

"So, you successfully avoided everyone until they saw your talent and started respecting you?"

 _He didn't think the reason they liked him was out of admiration, even though it clearly was._

"Obviously once I got on the pitch, I wasn't in the way. I served a purpose. I was maybe even an asset to them. I was made the team captain so I got really popular, I had too many 'friends' to name or even count. I had crowds constantly talking to me and people I didn't care about trying to find out personal things. It was a nightmare, I was never alone. I think they might have taken me staying out of their way, as me feeling like I was too good for them. If I kept my distance they assumed I had better things to do rather than that I just wasn't interested. I think that as spending time with me seemed more exclusive they competed with each other more, until I give up and let them surround me with their big groups, that didn't fully know each other properly and choose to spend time in the same general area despite the fact that they only spoke in smaller groups of two or three. I just tried to blend in and not draw attention to myself. At least if they had my freedom and independence I was an anonymous member so long as I didn't open my mouth. It did feel better than being a spectacle. I didn't mind exchanging my individuality for solidarity so long as I didn't have to spend my days being interrogated and turning them down. They were content to just have me around. I wanted to do my normal thing but if I got a book out someone would ask what I was reading, which would be a great big conversation starter that put me at the centre of the attention of the whole group. I was fortunate enough to be able to stick to Kono so I'd have the space of what might be a talkative 'friend' filled, without being occupied by one."

"So, even though the group had engulfed you, you only talked to Takashi?"

"He was the only one worth talking to. If I had to go through that without him I don't know how I would have turned out. Whether I would've gone on to the path of destruction earlier or not at all or became a mindless youth that is a slave to technology, speaking in memes and living by online trends without having my own opinions or uniqueness, I do not know."

"Yama-chan you sound like an old man, you don't know what you're talking about."

"I don't wanna know anyway, I'll never understand this culture of short attention spans and making a joke out of everything, ever."

"You'll get trolled if you criticise the nature of social media and how it changes the way people perceive things."

"I don't know what that is but ok. I won't say anything nasty if anonymity makes people lose their humanity."

"Yama-chan, you're pretending to know less than you do, to make a point."

"I thought I'd settled into middle…"

"Now, you're cutting me off to change the subject."

"School quite easily."

"You're not even acknowledging me now."

"What? My little brother likes to read the paper out loud when we have afternoon tea together, he's been able to read it since he was about three, but it's only in the last few years he's been able to read without getting stuck on _any_ characters which is impressive, I'm sure even you get stuck."

"I don't read the paper."

"It's really devastating to see how groups of people can gang up an on individual based on their status, from the comfort of their own homes without the moral strain of having to see their face and without any remorse. I think that sort of behaviour is unjustifiable. I know for a fact that no one deserves to be treated like that. It's just glorified cyberbullying on a big scale. I understand freedom of speech but it's never right to ridicule anyone it's especially wrong to be threatening."

"I like how passionate you can get."

"I'm not passionate, but if you want to keep distracting my story we can take this downstairs sit with your sister stop talking about our feelings. She'll certainly make a comment about how 'fast' I was then we'll explain that nothing happened. Even I'll have to support with her this, she out wits you, _every_ time. She will be so pleased with how much she has disrupted you because obviously by causing this sort of change of heart for you she's definitely won. "

"Yama-chan, did you just successfully manipulate me!?"

"Nah, I wasn't doing anything of the sort." He grins, fans his hand rapidly and slowly shakes his head as he says this. "Anyway this is the whole issue with shagging in the daytime, it's too obvious, wouldn't it be weird trying to do something knowing that she knows that it's happening as it happens?"

 _You're so annoying when you start talking! But I can't say that, I'd break your heart… What did he have to mention my sister for?_

"My boner is so dead right now it's not even in the mortuary it's in the grave. The seventh generation of maggots have hatched now the sixth generation are laying eggs. A lot of the original carbon is being returned to the atmosphere as carbon dioxide, the detritus microorganisms are having a field day. They're thriving because they also have sustenance from the third first and second generation of flies." Kiyama shrugs at Mizusawa's exaggeration and continues.

"So, it was easy because, I was accepted by everyone, I didn't have to prove myself. It was a little bit upsetting that they just chose to evaluate me based on a few things that were out of my control in the first place, but I was fine and I couldn't complain. Then the girls started on me, when I said nothing they thought I was mysterious. When I ignored them they thought I was cool. When I said 'no' they still liked me more. It was an endless cycle. I'm so glad I never gave out my email address when they asked, because then the torment would've never ended."

"I'll never understand the appeal of pretending not to be gay."

"I've never pretended anything like that for a second, I just didn't bring it up, since I was it my personal business. I didn't do anything to suggest I was either way, they just assumed. The way their attitudes were, the girls would've probably liked me more if I told them. The only person that knew was Kono because he asked. He's also the only one I ever saw outside school and the only one that stuck around before and after the popularity."

"Do you think he _liked_ you?"

"If he did, he never said."

"If he didn't, would he self-sacrifice, like that?"


	173. Chapter 173

"Azuma did. In the exact same way, but he didn't die. _We_ 're platonic, we made friends after the popularity, when I went bad and let my true nature out. The two of us ended up fighting then we shook hands and became friends."

"Of course..." He sighs. "Who won?"

"I did, but only by a fraction, that's probably why he still respected me, even though I mostly ignored him until we started tumbling."

"So, you didn't like Takashi?"

"I don't know... I liked him as a _friend_. What, did you think we were a couple that whole time?I don't see how we could have been a couple back then we were only children... At least that's what we were in my eyes. I definitely didn't consider a thing like that."

"I didn't think I was your first kiss _too_."

"You weren't, but still. Just because we were both gay and at the same school? Because he was the only person I more than tolerated?"

"I do think he liked you."

"Nah."

"Why not?"

"Why should he?"

"He obviously bothered to get to know you and stuck around all that time."

"I see, you're saying he wouldn't have associated with me if he didn't have that sort of thing in mind?"

 _He would have definitely been disappointed with me if you wanted what I've got with Mizusawa... I could have never fulfilled his expectations... If he was waiting for that kind of thing to start I must have really tested his patience... I really am thoughtless, I didn't pay him enough attention to know that. I never deserved that kind of dedication from anyone in the first place and yet I got it... I never thanked him for it..._

"No, I'm saying he liked you, that's it."

"Ok few, I was worried for a second. I thought the foundation of the friendship was ruined… It wouldn't have meant the same thing, if he had ulterior motives. It's not as if _I_ ever wanted to be more than a friend."

"Who else have you kissed?"

"Are you jealous?"

"Of course I am."

"Aw~"

"Tell me."

"You kissed all those girls."

"There were two."

"Ok."

"Don't tell me some of _those_ girls got to you!"

"No, I said I didn't get the appeal of pretending to be straight." Mizusawa shuffles on to the south-facing side of the bed, next to Kiyama.

"So, you kissed a boy?"

"I was _kissed_ , I never said I kissed anyone."

"Did you kiss back?"

"How could I? You taught me that. You can't take it personally we were at different schools. Yours was my first tongue kiss, if it makes you feel any better."

"Yours was mine too... Where was it?"

"Cheek, forehead, lips."

"Not 'where on your body', where?"

"The first?"

"Yes, the first."

"I think on my doorstep after going go-karting and trying pizza, for the first time. Did you know I only eat traditional food at home?"

"I guessed, since that's all I've ever had, since I've stayed there."

"I wonder if-"

"Stop!"

"What?"

"Changing the bleeding subject, who was it with?"

"Kono."

"Wait a minute, that sounds like a date, to me."

"What? It's not as if it was the first time he'd invited me anywhere. We were just spending time together and.." The penny drops. "No way."

 _Us going out together can't have been a date otherwise he would have died on one..._

"Yes way. You asked 'the first?' Were there many?"

"Yeah, like at least once a week."

"Was there hand-holding?"

"Briefly."

"Hugging?"

"Every now and again, if I let him."

"What do you think that's about then?"

"He was in France from an early age until his last year of primary school, because his dad works for an international company. They kiss complete strangers, over there, it's just a greeting. I didn't really like it, but the difference in formality must've slipped his mind. He didn't belong to any groups so he sat next to me in the library and we both read in silence until he got accustomed enough to me to speak. He only said 'hi' for a while and it was fine just being alone together. I didn't disturb him he didn't disturb me."

"He was shy?"

"No, she was probably trying to be respectful of my personal space."

"But as soon as he starts talking to you he kisses you?"

"No, actually that was after a year, we'd started having conversations of more than a few words. So, that was not long after he found out I was gay."

"Ummhmmm… So, it took him a year of being in Japan for him to remember _French_ customs?"

"Where are you going with this?"

"You _really_ are insensitive, aren't you?"

"What have I done now?"

"You never understood Takashi's feelings."

"Eh?"

 _If you don't properly understand your own feelings it's not very likely that you would be able to understand other people's._

"I don't think he liked you."

 _I thought as much... I was surprised he even liked me as a friend… At least I hope he did and he wasn't just accompanying me out of pity… I hope the time he chose to spend with me was for his enjoyment, not mine..._

"I think he loved you."

"You and your dramatic pauses."

 _I couldn't help but worry he secretly disliked me..._

"He didn't love me."

"He did."

"You can't possibly know that."

"I may not _know_ his feelings, but I know what it's like to love you."

"You I think he was in love with _me_?"

"Him giving you that bracelet may have symbolised a lot more than you may think. You obviously couldn't see it, because you didn't think you were worthy. The thought never even crossed your mind."

 _He assumed no one was capable of loving him so, every single one of the signs went straight over his head._

"I find that hard to believe, because he didn't really care much when he found out I was gay. He immediately changed the subject."

*****FLASHBACK*****

"No one but you likes me, because I'm gay."

"I don't think that's why, lots of people like me and I'm gay."

 _Crap, why did I say that? That's personal information I never had intentions of telling anybody, ever... I can't believe I didn't think before I spoke... I'm probably the most open person in my whole family besides my father! But it's his job to be... I wish I could take it back I can't believe I was so uninhibited... This must be what it's like to have a best friend…_

"You are? I've always wanted to go paintballing would you like to come with me?"

 _He knew I didn't want to talk about it, he really is my best friend…_

"Yeah, that sounds fun. I've never tried paintballing and I always imagined what it would be like to shoot a gun, without it being a true threat."

"Same... I think the reason people continue to like you is because they don't know."

"It doesn't matter whether or not they know, because I wouldn't change as a person. They don't know _anything_ about me, because I don't tell them and it's none of their business. They only _like_ me because of the money."

"Nah, they like you because you're you, you're an amazing person and you don't realise it. You're much better than you think. You're right that it doesn't matter if they know because once they got to know you they'd like you even more." He kisses Kiyama's cheek and he nods, unable to make any reaction.

 _Woah, best friends just want to make you feel better... I suppose a difference between them and family is that they choose to spend time with you… I don't know what I did to deserve this kind treatment…_

*****END OF FLASHBACK*****

"That was him asking you out on a date. _As_ soon as he found out."

"Crap, it was just a week after paintballing when he dropped me home from _what could be construed as my second date_ that he kissed me on the lips. How could I have been so stupid?"

"How many times do I have to tell you everyone makes mistakes?"


	174. Chapter 174

"That's heartbreaking. I ruined his life with unrequited love, that made him waste it _with_ me and then die for my sake. That's worse than I thought! I _really_ I'm a terrible person, that's unforgivable, I feel like I used him now, he was so loyal. He'd followed me so far, of course he'd stick with me on the wrong path too… Right when everyone else abandoned ship he was there, if I'd really thought about doing right by him I would have kept myself away from that sort of thing. I definitely killed him, you can't deny it. That jump wasn't in the heat of the moment it was certain if I got myself into danger he'd always get me out of it I knew that, that's why I believed in him."

"You didn't _make_ him die."

"But I _am_ the cause."

"No, you're not."

"Then who is?" He doesn't give Kiyama an answer.

"I don't think that love was unrequited."

"He was my best friend and nothing else."

"That's not how he felt. I think he probably loved spending time with you and he didn't waste a minute, in his mind… I don't think he could imagine a life without you in it and if it was for you to live, I don't think he considered dying a sacrifice."

"So, I made him happy?" Kiyama says, not looking up from his lap to hide a tear streaked face.

"Probably happier than I make you, from the looks of things."

"No, I'd die for you tomorrow if I had to. I love you." He stares into Mizusawa's face, no longer concerned with keeping his emotions to himself or pretending he's not really crying. "You know everything there is to know about me now and you're still interested?"

"Duh! There's never been anything wrong with the real you, no one is perfect and you need to stop assuming you're the worst."

"Whenever I'm around people, I feel like they're just tolerating me… Until I do something wrong or unimpressive… Or that they won't miss me when I'm gone… They didn't miss me in middle school."

"Because they abandoned you after you lost your talent?"

"It wasn't long after, that the only one that never left was Kono."

"By 'not long after', do you by any chance mean when you became a yankee?"

"Yeah."

"So, they left because they didn't want to associate with a baddie, not just because you have nothing to offer if you're not exceptionally amazing. You scared them off because of your actions, not because you disappointed them on the pitch. Would you be friends with you if you went around beating people up?"

 _Maybe before he became a sporting legend at is school people weren't smiling at him out of pity, but because they wanted to get to know him… But he was too closed off and unapproachable so, that's what it looked like._

"I wouldn't have been friends with me in the first place, being able to play a sport, afford things and being average looking isn't a good enough criteria to become friends with a person."

"There's a lot more to you than that and I of all people should know."

"And you say _I'm_ a 'sweetheart'."

 _You really are better than I could've ever hoped for... In a husband? I know for sure there's no one else out there that could be this accepting of me… I'm not hiding a single thing now…_

"If you were so loud and _mischievous_ in your younger years, where did it all go? How do you think the moody years of silence started then?"

"The most popular teacher in my whole primary school taught me in year four, she was _alright_ , I aced all her tests and she got me involved in music and performance." Mizusawa gasps. "It's weird coming from me, I know but I haven't got to the point yet. She gave my first detention. I'm not saying that's what led to me slowly spiralling out of control as my life went downhill. It was a detention for talking and ever since then, I haven't been able to talk freely. It was the middle of the lesson and I was so comfortable, it being the only school I'd ever known and me feeling as though it was the only place I could be myself or not be disruptive or a nuisance. You never knew my loud and obnoxious side but as you can tell I _really_ took it to heart. "

"So, you started pushing people away and isolating yourself from them, to stay out of trouble, although you were so well liked even back then. In your short little life you had never seen anything good coming of being expressive or trying to connect with other people. From your disruptiveness at the temple to your free speech in the classroom it'd all blown up in your face."

"I'm not saying I was bad from the first time I was punished but after that point I was different. I actually never got in trouble after that until that turning point in middle school. So, maybe all that effort to act like I was good after all those years of freely misbehaving got pent up until then, when I lost favour with everyone and stop trying to behave. Up until the time I was told off I didn't see a difference. I was neither trying to behave nor misbehave and I still got in trouble, the biggest trouble of my life at that point and all I did was talk. So, I kept my mouth shut from then. You have to understand that my mother has never been angry at me or humiliated me even until now. A stern look was all it took to make me feel guilty. Up until I became a Yankee her disappointment was the most painful thing for me, apart from when I was way too young to care, like getting myself lost intentionally. She tried _so_ hard to get through to me. You know I'm sensitive I don't respond well to unkind treatment from me fighting people that didn't say 'excuse me' after bumping into me and stupid stuff like that. I think my mother knew that I responded better to nice treatment. Even if she petrified me, she knew no good would come of scaring me. She knew shouting would make me cry, even at eight. I know it's hard for you to accept, but like I've said in the past she's soft in her own way too."

"She didn't want to upset you because of the physical contact involved."

"Maybe. It's probably that and the other thing."

"Which is?"


End file.
